1
00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:03,760
Julie, what's this you've got here?
What's what?
2
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:05,800
Oh, you've got
that out of the fridge!
3
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:06,080
Oh, you've got
that out of the fridge!
4
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,120
What is it? It's... It's avocado.
5
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:08,960
What is it? It's... It's avocado.
6
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,760
Avocado?! Yeah.
7
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,800
Jesus Christ. You're gonna be moving
to Chorlton, you, soon.
8
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:13,600
Jesus Christ. You're gonna be moving
to Chorlton, you, soon.
9
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,640
I'm not moving to Chorlton.
They eat lentils.
10
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:16,280
I'm not moving to Chorlton.
They eat lentils.
11
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,360
We don't eat avocado, do we?!
12
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,400
Yeah! You're just getting it in
to seem posh. No...
13
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:20,680
Yeah! You're just getting it in
to seem posh. No...
14
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,280
"I've got avocado in the fridge."
15
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,320
# In a perfect world... #
16
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:24,880
# In a perfect world... #
17
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,280
SHE SCREAMS
18
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:27,680
THEY GROAN
19
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,720
Have you ever done owt like that?
Well, I aren't telling you if I had!
20
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:30,520
Have you ever done owt like that?
Well, I aren't telling you if I had!
21
00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,320
# Ba-ba-bap! Ba-ba-bap! #
22
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,360
Oh, Barcelona! Barcelona!
23
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:34,640
Oh, Barcelona! Barcelona!
24
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,360
DOG SNEEZES
Eurgh!
25
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,360
No, I don't like that this guy's
trying to tell me
26
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,440
how to eat my dinner.
27
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:41,480
BOTH: A what?
BOTH:Foot fetish?
28
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:41,760
BOTH: A what?
BOTH:Foot fetish?
29
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,120
I'd no idea that was a thing.
30
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,160
"Remove my britches.
Expose your loins."
31
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:45,480
"Remove my britches.
Expose your loins."
32
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:46,640
I like that!
33
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,680
Oh! Oh!
34
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,200
THEY LAUGH
35
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,400
Oh, Ronnie!
36
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:51,480
This is weird.
37
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,440
Oh, he's a mercenary bugger,
isn't he?
38
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:54,800
This is why I don't date.
39
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,840
That is dicing with the devil.
Oh, no!
40
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:57,240
That is dicing with the devil.
Oh, no!
41
00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,280
He suffers for his art,
doesn't he? Clearly.
42
00:00:59,320 --> 00:00:59,560
He suffers for his art,
doesn't he? Clearly.
43
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,600
BOTH: A Bentley Continental?!
44
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:02,040
BOTH: A Bentley Continental?!
45
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,080
I think I'd rather call it a day,
nutty, wouldn't you?
46
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:04,600
I think I'd rather call it a day,
nutty, wouldn't you?
47
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,280
# Who's been arrested now
48
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:08,320
# And for what? #
49
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,360
In the week the BBC announced a new
presenting trio on Strictly,
50
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,400
In the week the BBC announced a new
presenting trio on Strictly,
51
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,680
In the week the BBC announced a new
presenting trio on Strictly,
52
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,720
we enjoyed lots of great telly.
53
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:16,920
we enjoyed lots of great telly.
54
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,960
A blast from the past
from down under
55
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:19,280
A blast from the past
from down under
56
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,320
was doing her thing on Eurovision...
57
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:21,560
was doing her thing on Eurovision...
58
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,600
# The world stops for us
59
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:24,400
# The world stops for us
60
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,440
# Only love exists... #
61
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:26,960
# Only love exists... #
62
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,000
I mean, for Australia,
having Delta Goodrem in here,
63
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:29,640
I mean, for Australia,
having Delta Goodrem in here,
64
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,680
you know, this is like us
putting Adele up.
65
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:32,000
you know, this is like us
putting Adele up.
66
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,840
Why don't we put Adele up?
67
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,880
Because she wouldn't be seen dead
at Eurovision, Soph.
68
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,360
Because she wouldn't be seen dead
at Eurovision, Soph.
69
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:38,800
It is shite.
70
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,960
..we finally got to see who was
first past the post on BBC One...
71
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,000
..we finally got to see who was
first past the post on BBC One...
72
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:44,280
..we finally got to see who was
first past the post on BBC One...
73
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:45,880
{\an8}"Please sign in overleaf
74
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,920
{\an8}"and find out if you won the race
and 20,000."
75
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:48,960
{\an8}"and find out if you won the race
and 20,000."
76
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,000
Imagine taking your dad on race
across the world.
77
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,120
Imagine taking your dad on race
across the world.
78
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,160
Sorry! I mean, find him first.
79
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:54,440
Sorry! I mean, find him first.
80
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,160
My dad's probably
racing across the world.
81
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,200
He's been racing across the world
since 1983.
82
00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:58,440
He's been racing across the world
since 1983.
83
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,880
..and there was no escape
for dodgy drivers on Channel 5.
84
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,800
..and there was no escape
for dodgy drivers on Channel 5.
85
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,520
On the floor, now!
86
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,240
It is what it is, innit?
We find them, we lock them up.
87
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,280
If I ever got pulled over...
I wish - I would hope to be there.
88
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:12,320
If I ever got pulled over...
I wish - I would hope to be there.
89
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:12,600
If I ever got pulled over...
I wish - I would hope to be there.
90
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,640
I think I'd be stunned,
91
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:14,880
I think I'd be stunned,
92
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:16,600
like a hamster when they see light.
93
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,960
I think it's normally deers.
94
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,520
Not hamsters!
95
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,320
In Wiltshire...
96
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,360
I've been starting
to tackle my man cave, Mary...
97
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,840
I've been starting
to tackle my man cave, Mary...
98
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,880
And? ..and all the stuff
from my mother's house.
99
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:38,760
And? ..and all the stuff
from my mother's house.
100
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,800
This is called family 45 records.
101
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,280
This is called family 45 records.
102
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,320
..Giles and his wife Mary.
103
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:44,600
..Giles and his wife Mary.
104
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:46,640
That's the most annoying record
of all time, nutty.
105
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:47,200
That's the most annoying record
of all time, nutty.
106
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,240
What's that?
Manhattan Transfer, Chanson d'Amour.
107
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,720
What's that?
Manhattan Transfer, Chanson d'Amour.
108
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,760
Oh, dreadful! Shall I sing it?
109
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,680
# Ra da da da da... # No!
110
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:56,720
# Ra da da da da... # No, no.
It was the most awful record ever.
111
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:57,840
# Ra da da da da... # No, no.
It was the most awful record ever.
112
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,880
# Chanson d'amour... #
Stop it!
113
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:01,000
# Chanson d'amour... #
Stop it!
114
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,040
# Ra da da da da... #
Right... Do you remember it, Mary?
115
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:03,320
# Ra da da da da... #
Right... Do you remember it, Mary?
116
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:04,960
Yeah, I do. I hated it.
117
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,000
How's that come back into our lives?
118
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:07,280
How's that come back into our lives?
119
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,320
On Saturday night,
the BBC was live from Vienna
120
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,320
On Saturday night,
the BBC was live from Vienna
121
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,360
for the biggest song contest
of the year.
122
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,200
for the biggest song contest
of the year.
123
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,240
Eeyah, this is your first-ever
Eurovision. Are you watching it?
124
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,520
Eeyah, this is your first-ever
Eurovision. Are you watching it?
125
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,080
Watch it - Eurovision!
126
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,680
I don't know why we need
so many bloody flags, Soph.
127
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,360
Well, it's all the countries,
in't it?
128
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,400
I know, but I'm not arsed
about all the others.
129
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:25,680
I know, but I'm not arsed
about all the others.
130
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:26,600
Just the UK.
131
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,280
Just the UK!
132
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,280
Do you know you're as old
as the Eurovision Song Contest?
133
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:37,280
Do you know you're as old
as the Eurovision Song Contest?
134
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,320
Am I? 70 years old, it is.
135
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:40,080
Am I? 70 years old, it is.
136
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,120
God. Bloody hell.
137
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:42,520
God. Bloody hell.
138
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,560
I'm glad I can't remember
the first one.
139
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:44,880
I'm glad I can't remember
the first one.
140
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,920
It's bad enough having
to sit through this one.
141
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:47,160
It's bad enough having
to sit through this one.
142
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,640
After some stiff competition,
it was the UK's chance to shine.
143
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,680
After some stiff competition,
it was the UK's chance to shine.
144
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:53,160
After some stiff competition,
it was the UK's chance to shine.
145
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,200
GRAHAM NORTON:There he is!
Look Mum No Computer.
146
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:55,960
GRAHAM NORTON:There he is!
Look Mum No Computer.
147
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,000
Look Mum No Computer?
148
00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:58,560
Look Mum No Computer?
149
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,600
Has he got a name, or is he
Look Mum No Computer?
150
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:01,160
Has he got a name, or is he
Look Mum No Computer?
151
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,320
I mean, I'm sure he's got a real.
152
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,960
I don't think he was, like,
born that.
153
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,640
I mean, that's not on his
birth certificate.
154
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,680
Come on! Look Mum No Computer -
Eins, Zwei, Drei.
155
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,160
Come on! Look Mum No Computer -
Eins, Zwei, Drei.
156
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,200
"Look Mum No Computer,
Eins, Zwei, Drei?"
157
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:11,480
"Look Mum No Computer,
Eins, Zwei, Drei?"
158
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:12,640
Sprechen sie Deutsch?
159
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,280
This is supposed to be really crazy.
160
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,960
It is. I've heard it, it's good.
161
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,240
# So sick of doing the whole 9 to 5
162
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:22,680
# So sick of doing the whole 9 to 5
163
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,720
# I pay my dues
I'm just staying alive
164
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,160
# I pay my dues
I'm just staying alive
165
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,200
# And I'm so
bored of it, bored of it... #
166
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,160
# And I'm so
bored of it, bored of it... #
167
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,520
Oh, we've lost.
168
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,800
Yeah, we've lost.
Put that away for another year.
169
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,120
Yeah, we've lost.
Put that away for another year.
170
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,160
# The office cubicle
has trapped me again
171
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,600
# The office cubicle
has trapped me again
172
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,640
# Am I a mouse in a cage, am I... #
173
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:41,320
# Am I a mouse in a cage, am I... #
174
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:42,680
What the hell?!
175
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:43,880
HE LAUGHS
176
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,920
God, for the UK act, this has gone
very Eurovision, this has. Yeah.
177
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,320
God, for the UK act, this has gone
very Eurovision, this has. Yeah.
178
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,360
{\an8}Ah, if only there was a language
that I could count in.
179
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,920
{\an8}Ah, if only there was a language
that I could count in.
180
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,960
He looks like if
the two Jedward brothers were one.
181
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,000
He looks like if
the two Jedward brothers were one.
182
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:55,600
He looks like if
the two Jedward brothers were one.
183
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:56,960
Yes!
184
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,120
# Eins, zwei, drei
Darlin', I need something salty
185
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,520
# Eins, zwei, drei
Darlin', I need something salty
186
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,040
# Eins, zwei, drei... #
187
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,040
I quite like this! Get into it!
188
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,880
# Eins, zwei, drei... #
189
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,920
I think this is a bit
avant-garde for me, Mary.
190
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,000
I think this is a bit
avant-garde for me, Mary.
191
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,040
# Eins, zwei, drei
With a slice of pepperoni... #
192
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,600
# Eins, zwei, drei
With a slice of pepperoni... #
193
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,640
HE LAUGHS
BOTH:With a slice of pepperoni?!
194
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:16,640
HE LAUGHS
BOTH:With a slice of pepperoni?!
195
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,640
# With a slice of pepperoni! #
196
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,680
Eeh. I could actually add this
to my Spotify. No.
197
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,080
Eeh. I could actually add this
to my Spotify. No.
198
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,760
# I'm comin' back to life.
199
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,560
# Eins, zwei, drei... #
200
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,280
I don't know what's going on here.
201
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,560
I think it might be me.
202
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:32,000
I think it might be me.
203
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,040
Am I too old for this?
204
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:34,920
Am I too old for this?
205
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,960
# Countin' in English
doesn't cut the mustard
206
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,720
# Countin' in English
doesn't cut the mustard
207
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,760
# So sick of munching
roly-poly with custard... #
208
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,000
# So sick of munching
roly-poly with custard... #
209
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,040
Roly-poly with fucking custard?
210
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:44,840
Roly-poly with fucking custard?
211
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,880
He's just saying words that rhyme,
innit? Yeah.
212
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:47,200
He's just saying words that rhyme,
innit? Yeah.
213
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,240
# Eins, zwei, drei
Darlin', I need something salty
214
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:50,680
# Eins, zwei, drei
Darlin', I need something salty
215
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,240
# Eins, zwei, drei
216
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,280
# ..with a slice of pepperoni... #
217
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:54,560
# ..with a slice of pepperoni... #
218
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,600
I don't mind this record,
but I'd like it to stop now.
219
00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,280
I don't mind this record,
but I'd like it to stop now.
220
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:58,720
He's had enough time.
221
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,760
When I say "eins", you say "zwei"!
222
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,800
When I say "eins", you say "zwei"!
223
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:03,080
When I say "eins", you say "zwei"!
224
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,760
Eins!
BOTH:Zwei!
225
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,680
Eins!
BOTH:Zwei!
226
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,720
# I spy! #
227
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:08,960
# I spy! #
228
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,000
I don't think he's saying I spy!
229
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:11,240
I don't think he's saying I spy!
230
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,280
When I say "eins", you say "zwei"!
231
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:14,840
When I say "eins", you say "zwei"!
232
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,760
HE LAUGHS
233
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,560
I think... I think we've
nailed it this year, Julie,
234
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:19,640
to be honest with you.
235
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,680
I can hear the phone lines
buzzing in for this!
236
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:22,840
I can hear the phone lines
buzzing in for this!
237
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,880
Honestly... 12 points everywhere.
Honestly...!
238
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:25,480
Honestly... 12 points everywhere.
Honestly...!
239
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,480
Honestly, if I had
unlimited minutes on my phone,
240
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,120
I'd be ringing up to vote for this.
241
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,080
You have! Oh...
242
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,600
Battery's flat.
243
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,960
In north London...
244
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,720
Amani, I'm really nervous.
245
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:40,760
My friend's organising this thing
where we're meeting
246
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:41,280
My friend's organising this thing
where we're meeting
247
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:42,800
like a whole bunch of new people...
248
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,280
Mm-hm. ..and I'm a bit nervous.
249
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,800
I've got social anxiety,
250
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,840
and, like, so I want to debut,
like, a new laugh.
251
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:48,640
and, like, so I want to debut,
like, a new laugh.
252
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,680
A new laugh? A new laugh.
So I'm gonna try them out.
253
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:51,280
A new laugh? A new laugh.
So I'm gonna try them out.
254
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,160
Tell me which one's the best. OK!
255
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,200
..sisters Amira and Amani.
256
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:55,720
..sisters Amira and Amani.
257
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,640
I was thinking like a silent laugh.
258
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,680
Oh, my days. OK!
Yeah, like one of these ones...
259
00:06:59,720 --> 00:06:59,920
Oh, my days. OK!
Yeah, like one of these ones...
260
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,280
Yeah?
261
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,320
That - that's my...
like, a silent laugh, you know?
262
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,280
That - that's my...
like, a silent laugh, you know?
263
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,240
You need help. Cos...!
264
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,040
You actually need help.
265
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,920
Can you just be normal?
266
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,960
My normal is, "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
267
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:16,720
My normal is, "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
268
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,280
"AH-HA-HA!"
269
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,320
That's my normal. I can't do that.
270
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:21,600
WHEEZES WITH LAUGHTER
271
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,280
Yeah, definitely don't do that.
272
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,320
I don't - I can't open my mouth
that big, I really shouldn't.
273
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,280
I don't - I can't open my mouth
that big, I really shouldn't.
274
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,800
It's not ladylike.
275
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,840
On Tuesday night, we were back
at the coalface on Channel 4.
276
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,880
On Tuesday night, we were back
at the coalface on Channel 4.
277
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:32,160
On Tuesday night, we were back
at the coalface on Channel 4.
278
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,320
Can't have barbecues at the minute.
279
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,320
We had bloody hailstone
the other day.
280
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,360
We've been having four
seasons in a day.
281
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:37,680
We've been having four
seasons in a day.
282
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,240
You don't know what
bloody coat to put on.
283
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,280
Oh, man, I can't wait.
I get the shorts out, the T-shirt,
284
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,000
Oh, man, I can't wait.
I get the shorts out, the T-shirt,
285
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,680
clean up the drum.
286
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,520
Oh, look at Sarah.
She's looking at me, like...
287
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:46,840
What, the jerk drum's coming out?
288
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,400
Yes, the jerk drum is coming out.
289
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,440
Hoo-hoo! The jerk chicken
is coming out, girl.
290
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:50,760
Hoo-hoo! The jerk chicken
is coming out, girl.
291
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,280
JAMIE OLIVER: The first glimpse
of sunshine,
292
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,320
and we just want to get outside
and barbecue.
293
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:54,920
and we just want to get outside
and barbecue.
294
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,960
Correct, we do - and I bloody tried
that the other day.
295
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:57,920
Correct, we do - and I bloody tried
that the other day.
296
00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,960
It was sunny all the time,
297
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,240
It was sunny all the time,
298
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,080
then everyone came round,
it pissed it down.
299
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:06,040
You're smashing it, man.
300
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,560
I've never seen dad
so excited about anything.
301
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:10,640
I've never seen dad
so excited about anything.
302
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,680
That's brilliant.
It's just barbecue! I love it.
303
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:13,640
That's brilliant.
It's just barbecue! I love it.
304
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,680
What's on the barbie menu today,
then?
305
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:16,000
What's on the barbie menu today,
then?
306
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,040
So, this is going to be
a celebration of breakfast.
307
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,040
So, this is going to be
a celebration of breakfast.
308
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,320
HE GASPS
309
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,360
OK. Are you watching this? OK.
Are you listening? Yeah.
310
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,400
OK. Are you watching this? OK.
Are you listening? Yeah.
311
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,440
The full monty English breakfast -
but not as you know it.
312
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:27,640
The full monty English breakfast -
but not as you know it.
313
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,680
No, I don't think people
have got the energy, Mary.
314
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,240
No, I don't think people
have got the energy, Mary.
315
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,280
You gotta get the barbecue going
before you can cook on it.
316
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:33,600
You gotta get the barbecue going
before you can cook on it.
317
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,640
Yeah. You have to start that up
at five in the morning, yeah?
318
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:36,320
Yeah. You have to start that up
at five in the morning, yeah?
319
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,360
So instead of turning, like,
20 bits of bacon,
320
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:38,960
So instead of turning, like,
20 bits of bacon,
321
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,960
use a skewer like that.
322
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,000
Ultimately, you've got one thing
to turn instead of 20.
323
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,160
Ultimately, you've got one thing
to turn instead of 20.
324
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,200
GASPS:It's like a little
bacon skirt.
325
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:46,600
GASPS:It's like a little
bacon skirt.
326
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:47,880
Oh, that's sick!
327
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:49,760
So you're whifting and wafting.
328
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,800
Yeah! Bada-bing, bada-boom.
329
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:52,320
Yeah! Bada-bing, bada-boom.
330
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:53,800
Then, when it comes to the sausage,
331
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,000
I'm going to do pretty much
the same.
332
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,040
Two skewers holding four sausages.
333
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:57,320
Two skewers holding four sausages.
334
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,200
I don't like fat sausages.
I like chipolatas.
335
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,800
But we have an opportunity
336
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,840
to add some flavours
that sausages absolutely love.
337
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,280
to add some flavours
that sausages absolutely love.
338
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,320
That's onion and sage.
339
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:06,800
That's onion and sage.
340
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,480
Red onion! Red onion.
It's always got to be red onion,
341
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,520
not white onion. Oh,
not this debate again. Not always.
342
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:10,800
not white onion. Oh,
not this debate again. Not always.
343
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,080
Always red onion!
344
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,120
Sage, honestly, it's something
I'd never think to use on food.
345
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:14,960
Sage, honestly, it's something
I'd never think to use on food.
346
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,000
Like, genuinely.
When have you ever used sage?
347
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:17,640
Like, genuinely.
When have you ever used sage?
348
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,680
I've never in my life.
349
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,720
A lot of people
put the charcoal everywhere.
350
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:22,480
A lot of people
put the charcoal everywhere.
351
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,880
Yeah - you do.
352
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,600
We don't want that. We want control.
353
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,600
Oh, there you go, Steve.
You listening?
354
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,640
Now, if you've got a gas barbecue,
really simple.
355
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:30,080
Now, if you've got a gas barbecue,
really simple.
356
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,120
Turn one side on full whack,
and then the other side on off.
357
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:32,680
Turn one side on full whack,
and then the other side on off.
358
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,720
Why don't you know that?
359
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:35,000
Why don't you know that?
360
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,040
Right. That's what we done, Jamie.
Fucking simple.
361
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:37,320
Right. That's what we done, Jamie.
Fucking simple.
362
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,440
Gas barbecue.
363
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,480
There's a reason we're not living
in caves any more, Jamie.
364
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:40,960
There's a reason we're not living
in caves any more, Jamie.
365
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,320
With the mushrooms here,
366
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,320
take the little stalk
in the middle...
367
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,360
Love mushrooms. I hate mushrooms.
368
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,080
Love mushrooms. I hate mushrooms.
369
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,120
I've never tried a mushroom,
actually.
370
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:49,400
I've never tried a mushroom,
actually.
371
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,560
..and just cut it off.
372
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,800
Peel the mushrooms.
373
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:53,840
Who knew you could peel mushrooms?!
Oh, yeah.
374
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:54,320
Who knew you could peel mushrooms?!
Oh, yeah.
375
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,280
I love peeling
a mushroom like that, Simon.
376
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,320
Really? So therapeutic.
377
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,360
With the mushrooms, turn those over.
378
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:00,720
With the mushrooms, turn those over.
379
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,960
I'm going to take a great cheese -
halloumi.
380
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:04,560
I'm going to take a great cheese -
halloumi.
381
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,600
We keep forgetting about halloumi,
nutty. We do.
382
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,160
We keep forgetting about halloumi,
nutty. We do.
383
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,680
Do you know what?
I'm not arsed about halloumi.
384
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,200
I think it's overrated. Oh...
385
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,280
I think people just say,
386
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,040
"Oh, yeah, can I have halloumi?"
387
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,080
and they, like, really love
halloumi. They don't really.
388
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:16,360
and they, like, really love
halloumi. They don't really.
389
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,120
It's just jumping on the bandwagon.
390
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,600
Just get the core side of a grater.
391
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,760
It's kind of chewy,
but it's also a little bit oozy.
392
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:23,320
It's kind of chewy,
but it's also a little bit oozy.
393
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,360
Grating halloumi.
I've never seen that.
394
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:25,680
Grating halloumi.
I've never seen that.
395
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,720
Maybe I should grate halloumi.
I've done everything else with it.
396
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:28,280
Maybe I should grate halloumi.
I've done everything else with it.
397
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,600
Not everything.
398
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,040
Not everything.
399
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,080
As that bacon
starts to get crispy...
400
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:34,400
As that bacon
starts to get crispy...
401
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:35,600
Yeah, what's going on
with the bacon?
402
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,280
..you can pick it up.
Look at that.
403
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,360
Come on!
404
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,400
And all the drippings
can be brushed over your sausage.
405
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,440
And all the drippings
can be brushed over your sausage.
406
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:42,880
And all the drippings
can be brushed over your sausage.
407
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,920
Well. If ever
there was a euphemism...
408
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,280
Well. If ever
there was a euphemism...
409
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,640
You've taken it one step too far
for me, Jamie.
410
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:50,120
You've taken it one step too far
for me, Jamie.
411
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,160
So, look, I love the idea of, like,
pushing barbecue to the next level.
412
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,680
So, look, I love the idea of, like,
pushing barbecue to the next level.
413
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,720
So, an egg going into the pepper...
414
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:55,960
So, an egg going into the pepper...
415
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,200
It's very cool.
416
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,920
Peppers with a fry up?
417
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,960
Yeah. Probably the only
thing I'm not loving so far. OK.
418
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:01,800
Yeah. Probably the only
thing I'm not loving so far. OK.
419
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,720
Peppers are for fajitas.
420
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,760
Oh, right. And fajitas only.
421
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:06,000
Oh, right. And fajitas only.
422
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,040
The smell is incredible!
423
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:08,280
The smell is incredible!
424
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,840
Oh, look at that!
425
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,880
Oh! Oh, where did he come from?!
426
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:12,280
Oh! Oh, where did he come from?!
427
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:13,840
What the hell?!
428
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,200
Hold on!
429
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,240
Oh! Oh! That's the pizza guy.
What's his name?
430
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,640
Oh! Oh! That's the pizza guy.
What's his name?
431
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:20,680
It's not Donatella Versace...
No, he's...he's clothes.
432
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,360
It's not Donatella Versace...
No, he's...he's clothes.
433
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:23,560
G-Gennaro?
434
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,320
Go, go, go, go!
435
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,360
A little bit of basil on there.
Yeah.
436
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:27,840
A little bit of basil on there.
Yeah.
437
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,000
Beautiful. Are you ready to eat?
438
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,040
I am, yeah. Yeah.
439
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,840
If he brought that to the table,
I'd say,
440
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,560
"Well, that's all very well, Jamie.
441
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:35,880
"Could I have mine not burnt?"
442
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,120
Tuck in.My God, what a breakfast
you've prepared for me!
443
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:40,280
Tuck in.My God, what a breakfast
you've prepared for me!
444
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,160
Alleluia!
445
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,000
You'd have a full tin
of beans, easily,
446
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,040
with your breakfast, wouldn't you?
Oh, yeah. And so would you.
447
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:46,640
with your breakfast, wouldn't you?
Oh, yeah. And so would you.
448
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:48,680
I might eat up
both them tins of beans.
449
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:49,360
I might eat up
both them tins of beans.
450
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,400
Let's buy that barbecue, Mary.
451
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:51,720
Let's buy that barbecue, Mary.
452
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,280
It looks so... But we've got one.
453
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,840
I know, but it's crap.
454
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,280
Is it? You haven't even
tried it yet.
455
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,320
No, I just don't like old things.
456
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,360
Well... The older I get,
the more I want new things, Mary.
457
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,400
Well... The older I get,
the more I want new things, Mary.
458
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,440
What? That's the irony. I like to
buy new fresh things. Well, too bad.
459
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:06,480
What? That's the irony. I like to
buy new fresh things. Well, too bad.
460
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:07,960
What? That's the irony. I like to
buy new fresh things. Well, too bad.
461
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000
I've had a lifetime of hand-me-downs
and I'm fed up with it.
462
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,600
I've had a lifetime of hand-me-downs
and I'm fed up with it.
463
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,640
I deserve better. No, you don't
deserve... I deserve better.
464
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:14,520
I deserve better. No, you don't
deserve... I deserve better.
465
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,560
You certainly do not! I deserve
one of these, Mary. You don't!
466
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:17,560
You certainly do not! I deserve
one of these, Mary. You don't!
467
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,640
In Blackpool...Tell you what,
it was bloody melting, that barbecue
468
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:28,560
In Blackpool...Tell you what,
it was bloody melting, that barbecue
469
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,600
that we hosted the other night,
wasn't it? Yeah.
470
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:30,920
that we hosted the other night,
wasn't it? Yeah.
471
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,960
I say we - me and Ben. Yeah, not me.
It were all good produce that
472
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,000
I say we - me and Ben. Yeah, not me.
It were all good produce that
473
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:35,560
I say we - me and Ben. Yeah, not me.
It were all good produce that
474
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,600
and all - meat from the butchers,
food from the fancy supermarket.
475
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,640
and all - meat from the butchers,
food from the fancy supermarket.
476
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:40,560
and all - meat from the butchers,
food from the fancy supermarket.
477
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,600
..Pete and his little sister,
Sophie.Well,
478
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:43,560
..Pete and his little sister,
Sophie.Well,
479
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,600
the highlight of the whole barbecue
for me was,
480
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:45,960
the highlight of the whole barbecue
for me was,
481
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,000
because you were running late,
because you were held up at work,
482
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,240
because you were running late,
because you were held up at work,
483
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,800
Mum said to Eva,
484
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,840
"Oh, where's Daddy?" And Eva
turned round to her and went,
485
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,880
"Oh, where's Daddy?" And Eva
turned round to her and went,
486
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:55,200
"Oh, where's Daddy?" And Eva
turned round to her and went,
487
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,200
"Is it Zumba?"
488
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,600
Just cos Paige goes to
Zumba on a Thursday,
489
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:01,560
Just cos Paige goes to
Zumba on a Thursday,
490
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,600
now everybody goes to Zumba.
Just the thought of you at Zumba!
491
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,640
now everybody goes to Zumba.
Just the thought of you at Zumba!
492
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:06,560
now everybody goes to Zumba.
Just the thought of you at Zumba!
493
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,600
Running late for the barbecue.
I can't make it to t'barbecue.
494
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,640
Running late for the barbecue.
I can't make it to t'barbecue.
495
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:10,960
Running late for the barbecue.
I can't make it to t'barbecue.
496
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,000
I'm just Zumba-ing at the moment.
This week,
497
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:13,840
I'm just Zumba-ing at the moment.
This week,
498
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,880
the strange goings-on
continued on Apple TV.
499
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,840
the strange goings-on
continued on Apple TV.
500
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,880
If you looked at it and
it says Widow's Bay,
501
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:20,200
If you looked at it and
it says Widow's Bay,
502
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,240
you think,
there's something going wrong there.
503
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:22,840
you think,
there's something going wrong there.
504
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,880
Why is it called a Widow's Bay?
Because all the men die.
505
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,240
Why is it called a Widow's Bay?
Because all the men die.
506
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,200
Exactly. So you wouldn't go,
would you?
507
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,120
I wouldn't mind going there,
actually.
508
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,840
Free next week.
509
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:35,120
Free next week.
510
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,160
We've never had so many visitors.
Oh.
511
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:37,440
We've never had so many visitors.
Oh.
512
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,480
What's that? Princess Anne. What?
513
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,040
What's that? Princess Anne. What?
514
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,000
How do you know that's
Princess Anne?
515
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,040
No, sorry. Whatcha called?
Florence Nightingale?
516
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,680
No, sorry. Whatcha called?
Florence Nightingale?
517
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:47,680
Exactly.
518
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,680
Country lanes at night-time.
Forget it.
519
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,400
It's pretty spooky. Yeah.
520
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,720
Hello. What's he looking at?
521
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,000
Somebody's in the road.
522
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,040
Old lady. Oh, no. They're the worst.
523
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:09,480
Old lady. Oh, no. They're the worst.
524
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,840
Miss?Oh, no. No, no.
525
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:13,400
Miss?Oh, no. No, no.
526
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,440
There's something very wrong
with that figure, Mary.
527
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,640
There's something very wrong
with that figure, Mary.
528
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,680
Do you need a ride?
Do you need a ride?!
529
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:19,760
Do you need a ride?
Do you need a ride?!
530
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,800
Oh, hang on, Tom, now.
Is he for real?
531
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:22,440
Oh, hang on, Tom, now.
Is he for real?
532
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,480
What is that? She doesn't look well.
It's Kate Bush, Nutty.
533
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:28,600
What is that? She doesn't look well.
It's Kate Bush, Nutty.
534
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:29,600
No, it isn't.
535
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,320
Yep. Reverse. Bye!
536
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,160
Yep. Reverse. Bye!
537
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,920
Oh, look. Look at her now! Oh, God!
538
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,960
Oh! Oo-oo-oo!
539
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:42,440
Oh! Oo-oo-oo!
540
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,000
I can't reverse that quick either.
He's good, though.
541
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:49,600
I can't reverse that quick either.
He's good, though.
542
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,320
Whoa! What was that?
543
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,360
Something went down the
side of the car. I know.
544
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:56,760
Something went down the
side of the car. I know.
545
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,440
THEY SCREAM
546
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,840
THEY SCREAM
547
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,000
Oh, my God!
548
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,880
She scratched his arm, so.
Now he's genuinely frightened,
549
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:10,880
She scratched his arm, so.
Now he's genuinely frightened,
550
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,920
Mary. He's been touched by a ghoul.
Sounds like the Sea Hag.
551
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,960
Mary. He's been touched by a ghoul.
Sounds like the Sea Hag.
552
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:15,200
Mary. He's been touched by a ghoul.
Sounds like the Sea Hag.
553
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,440
The what? Your scratch.The Sea Hag.
Old fisherman's lore.
554
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,480
The what? Your scratch.The Sea Hag.
Old fisherman's lore.
555
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,040
The what? Your scratch.The Sea Hag.
Old fisherman's lore.
556
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,080
You heard of it?Another old lore
that I've not heard of.
557
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,120
You heard of it?Another old lore
that I've not heard of.
558
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,160
The Hag targets lonely sailors
and follows them home at night.
559
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,120
The Hag targets lonely sailors
and follows them home at night.
560
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,840
She scratches you,
561
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,880
and she gets some of your skin
under her fingernails
562
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:32,840
and she gets some of your skin
under her fingernails
563
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,880
so she can track you
down like a bloodhound.
564
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:35,840
so she can track you
down like a bloodhound.
565
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,520
She could track him
down anywhere now.
566
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,560
She can track him down by the skin
under her fingernails.
567
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:39,880
She can track him down by the skin
under her fingernails.
568
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,680
Imagine having a woman
that interested.
569
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,880
To find out more about the Sea Hag,
Mayor Tom popped to Wyck's.
570
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,920
To find out more about the Sea Hag,
Mayor Tom popped to Wyck's.
571
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:47,280
To find out more about the Sea Hag,
Mayor Tom popped to Wyck's.
572
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,320
Have you ever heard of a Hag?
I have.
573
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,360
Have you ever heard of a Hag?
I have.
574
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:51,800
Have you ever heard of a Hag?
I have.
575
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,840
Cheeky git! I only know the Sea Hag!
576
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:54,800
Cheeky git! I only know the Sea Hag!
577
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,600
Specifically one that scratches you
and then tracks you down?
578
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,560
Specifically one that scratches you
and then tracks you down?
579
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,600
The look on his face
says it's not good.
580
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:02,920
The look on his face
says it's not good.
581
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,960
I would be saying
that face is now alarming me.
582
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:05,760
I would be saying
that face is now alarming me.
583
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,800
Yeah. Can I tell you again
and you do a different face?
584
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:08,760
Yeah. Can I tell you again
and you do a different face?
585
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,800
Every sailor knows
the story of the Hag.
586
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,840
Every sailor knows
the story of the Hag.
587
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:13,160
Every sailor knows
the story of the Hag.
588
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,200
Oh, they would, though.
Every sailor?
589
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:15,520
Oh, they would, though.
Every sailor?
590
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,560
He knows a lot,
doesn't he? I don't understand.
591
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:17,840
He knows a lot,
doesn't he? I don't understand.
592
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,880
How do you die? No, I don't neither.
593
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:20,560
How do you die? No, I don't neither.
594
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,600
She crawls into your bed
and sits on your face.
595
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:22,880
She crawls into your bed
and sits on your face.
596
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:23,720
What?
597
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,240
Look, look, look!
He's getting weak, isn't he?
598
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:38,520
Look, look, look!
He's getting weak, isn't he?
599
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:40,560
Yeah. The scratch is taking effect.
600
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:40,760
Yeah. The scratch is taking effect.
601
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,800
He's bleeding. The cut's bleeding.
602
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:46,080
He's bleeding. The cut's bleeding.
603
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,840
Oh! He's bleeding even more.
So she'll be able to smell that man.
604
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:51,920
Oh! He's bleeding even more.
So she'll be able to smell that man.
605
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,600
Don't fall asleep, Tom.
She'll have you!
606
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,520
Don't fall asleep, Tom.
She'll have you!
607
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,560
Oh! Oh, God. Sit up, sit up!
608
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,040
Oh! Oh, God. Sit up, sit up!
609
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,600
Oh, no! Oh, there she is.
No! Oh, no!
610
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,080
Oh, no! Oh, there she is.
No! Oh, no!
611
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:07,800
Simon, look where she's
coming up from.
612
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,840
Oh, my God! Oh, my life!
613
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:10,320
Oh, my God! Oh, my life!
614
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,000
He can't move!
615
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,600
Ooh, look at those nails!
Oh! Hang on. Oh!
616
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,560
Ooh, look at those nails!
Oh! Hang on. Oh!
617
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,120
No, no, no, no, no, no! Oh, my God.
She's going to sit on his face!
618
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,520
No, no, no, no, no, no! Oh, my God.
She's going to sit on his face!
619
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,560
She's going to sit on his face!
620
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:31,760
She's going to sit on his face!
621
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,400
Oh, my God!
622
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,160
Oh, he's going to recline the chair.
623
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,400
Oh! Oh!
624
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,280
Catapulted her over his shoulder!
625
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,000
Catapulted her over his shoulder!
626
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,720
Quick, quick, quick. Shut the door!
627
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,600
Is he getting in the bath?
What good is that going to be?
628
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:01,440
Is he getting in the bath?
What good is that going to be?
629
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,960
Stop breathing. Sh! Is, um, a shower
630
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:06,560
Stop breathing. Sh! Is, um, a shower
631
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,600
curtain sufficient to keep her out?
I don't know.
632
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,720
curtain sufficient to keep her out?
I don't know.
633
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,760
And he didn't lock the door either,
did he?
634
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,000
And he didn't lock the door either,
did he?
635
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,440
Oh! She's coming. She's getting
in! Oh, Lord! The head will appear.
636
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,200
Oh! She's coming. She's getting
in! Oh, Lord! The head will appear.
637
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,560
It's not the head I'm worried about.
638
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,320
Oh, here she comes. Oh! Oh,
the smell. He can smell her.
639
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,360
Oh, here she comes. Oh! Oh,
the smell. He can smell her.
640
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:29,800
Oh, here she comes. Oh! Oh,
the smell. He can smell her.
641
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,840
Oh, he's retching. Oh, you would be,
though, wouldn't you? Ooh!
642
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,440
Oh, he's retching. Oh, you would be,
though, wouldn't you? Ooh!
643
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,480
Hey!Oh, who's that?
644
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,280
It's Wyck!
645
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,320
He got her! Can you kill her?
646
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,320
Oh, no!
647
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,240
Oh! What is that? Is she dead?
648
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,360
Where is she?
649
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,400
She's turned into sea water,
hasn't she?
650
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:57,680
She's turned into sea water,
hasn't she?
651
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:58,840
What are you thinking about?
652
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,240
Don't get no funny ideas, you know!
653
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,120
Who would your ideal smother be?
654
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,440
Who would your ideal smother be?
655
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,760
Nitro!
656
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,800
With those arse cheeks,
it'd be quick and painless.
657
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:17,520
With those arse cheeks,
it'd be quick and painless.
658
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,600
In Hull...Hey, do you know
the other day, Jenny? Yeah.
659
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:24,800
In Hull...Hey, do you know
the other day, Jenny? Yeah.
660
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,840
There was a police van -
speeders, you know. Oh, camera?
661
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,880
There was a police van -
speeders, you know. Oh, camera?
662
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,480
There was a police van -
speeders, you know. Oh, camera?
663
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,520
Yeah. I'm surprised you
haven't been done yet.
664
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:32,800
Yeah. I'm surprised you
haven't been done yet.
665
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,840
Why? ..best friends Jenny and Lee.
666
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:35,840
Why? ..best friends Jenny and Lee.
667
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,880
You know when you say you go slow?
Yeah, I do.
668
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:38,200
You know when you say you go slow?
Yeah, I do.
669
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,240
You do not. You was like a shit
off a fucking rabbit in there.
670
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,280
You do not. You was like a shit
off a fucking rabbit in there.
671
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:42,600
You do not. You was like a shit
off a fucking rabbit in there.
672
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,640
On your car. You was.
Look at you laughing.
673
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:44,920
On your car. You was.
Look at you laughing.
674
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,560
Cos you know, don't you?
675
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,600
I couldn't even keep up with you.
What...
676
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:49,720
I couldn't even keep up with you.
What...
677
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,760
What's shit off a rabbit?!
678
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:52,520
What's shit off a rabbit?!
679
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,560
What do you mean, shit off a...
680
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:56,800
What do you mean, shit off a...
681
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,800
On Sunday night, there were more
mad mutts on Channel 5.
682
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,840
On Sunday night, there were more
mad mutts on Channel 5.
683
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:03,560
On Sunday night, there were more
mad mutts on Channel 5.
684
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,600
There's no such thing as a bad dog.
Just a bad owner.
685
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:05,920
There's no such thing as a bad dog.
Just a bad owner.
686
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,080
You're quite right.
687
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,120
He seems to be obsessed by you
for some reason.
688
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:09,640
He seems to be obsessed by you
for some reason.
689
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,680
Well, he must be the only one
in the family who is. But he's...
690
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,560
Well, he must be the only one
in the family who is. But he's...
691
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,600
Unless you've been
feeding him from the table...
692
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:15,960
Unless you've been
feeding him from the table...
693
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,000
Have you? Well, then,
you need look no further.
694
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:18,520
Have you? Well, then,
you need look no further.
695
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:19,720
It's cupboard love.
696
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,120
What's this telly?
This is nothing to do with you.
697
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,160
This is how the other dogs behave.
Not you.
698
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,080
This is how the other dogs behave.
Not you.
699
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,120
First up, Graeme's in God's
own country.Yorkshire!
700
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,160
First up, Graeme's in God's
own country.Yorkshire!
701
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,800
First up, Graeme's in God's
own country.Yorkshire!
702
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,680
Well, I'm in Yorkshire today,
near Barnsley.
703
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,720
Budgie's from Barnsley.
She is, isn't she?
704
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:37,560
Budgie's from Barnsley.
She is, isn't she?
705
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,600
Oh! Nathan and Kathy...
Whoa! Wow! Look at him.
706
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,640
Oh! Nathan and Kathy...
Whoa! Wow! Look at him.
707
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:42,520
Oh! Nathan and Kathy...
Whoa! Wow! Look at him.
708
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,560
..got six-year-old Rio as a puppy.
709
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,160
..got six-year-old Rio as a puppy.
710
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,200
Oh, he's too big, isn't he?
711
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:48,440
Oh, he's too big, isn't he?
712
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,760
I wouldn't want to feed that.
713
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,800
I tell you. I couldn't afford to.
No.
714
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:52,120
I tell you. I couldn't afford to.
No.
715
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,160
He's a fantastic dog with
a strange personality.
716
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,560
He's a fantastic dog with
a strange personality.
717
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,600
David, a strange personality?
Oh, David's gorgeous.
718
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,840
David, a strange personality?
Oh, David's gorgeous.
719
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,880
Come on, big lad!
Now a 15st adult...
720
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,040
Come on, big lad!
Now a 15st adult...
721
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,080
Ooh! 15st?! I'm not far off.
722
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:05,800
Ooh! 15st?! I'm not far off.
723
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,560
I'm not, though.
Come on! Come on, Ri.
724
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,280
I'm not, though.
Come on! Come on, Ri.
725
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,320
He takes some manoeuvring
about at times.
726
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:13,640
He takes some manoeuvring
about at times.
727
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,680
Come on now, big boy. Bet he does.
He don't want to get out of the car.
728
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:16,640
Come on now, big boy. Bet he does.
He don't want to get out of the car.
729
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,680
He don't want to go out.
Come on, Rio.
730
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:19,000
He don't want to go out.
Come on, Rio.
731
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,040
No, no, don't pancake, please.
He knows this is the vet.
732
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,560
No, no, don't pancake, please.
He knows this is the vet.
733
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,600
Which one of ours was it?
It was Bobby.
734
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:24,880
Which one of ours was it?
It was Bobby.
735
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,840
He knew when he was at the vets.
736
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,880
He didn't like getting out of
the car at the vets either.
737
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:29,880
He didn't like getting out of
the car at the vets either.
738
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:31,920
No. Rio, please. Look!
739
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,040
No. Rio, please. Look!
740
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,080
I don't think saying "please,
Rio" is going to do any good.
741
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,160
I don't think saying "please,
Rio" is going to do any good.
742
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,200
Do you? No.
I don't like going to the dentist.
743
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:38,560
Do you? No.
I don't like going to the dentist.
744
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,600
Exactly. It's the equivalent.
Yeah. I remember I've had to get
745
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,640
in and pull you out like
this a couple of times.
746
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:43,200
in and pull you out like
this a couple of times.
747
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:44,320
Yeah. To get a filling.
748
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,600
Rio! And that's not the only issue.
What else is there?
749
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,160
Rio! And that's not the only issue.
What else is there?
750
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,760
Oh, God. There's more.
751
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,800
He will not walk upstairs
for anybody.
752
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:53,880
He will not walk upstairs
for anybody.
753
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,960
Oh, golly, oh, golly.
754
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000
He's a pain in the neck, isn't he?
He's stubborn,
755
00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:58,320
He's a pain in the neck, isn't he?
He's stubborn,
756
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,360
isn't he, that dog? Even at home,
where bedrooms are up them.
757
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,400
isn't he, that dog? Even at home,
where bedrooms are up them.
758
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:02,800
isn't he, that dog? Even at home,
where bedrooms are up them.
759
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:04,840
You know what they
need there? Stairlift.
760
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:05,520
You know what they
need there? Stairlift.
761
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:06,720
What, for the dog? Yeah.
762
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,600
Graeme's meeting Rio...Come on!
..at his vet's car park.
763
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,640
Graeme's meeting Rio...Come on!
..at his vet's car park.
764
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:13,120
Graeme's meeting Rio...Come on!
..at his vet's car park.
765
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,160
Morning. Come on, Graeme,
sort this Rio out.
766
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,560
Morning. Come on, Graeme,
sort this Rio out.
767
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,600
So what do you do
eventually to get him out?
768
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,000
So what do you do
eventually to get him out?
769
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,040
How does this end?Come on!
770
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,160
How does this end?Come on!
771
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,200
And then we drag him and pull him,
and then he falls out.
772
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,560
And then we drag him and pull him,
and then he falls out.
773
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,560
Oh, they pull him out
on the rope. Gee!
774
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,600
What a palaver. Just down the road,
there's another car park.
775
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,560
What a palaver. Just down the road,
there's another car park.
776
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,600
Oh! What is this one
that you don't like?
777
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:34,760
Oh! What is this one
that you don't like?
778
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,800
Oh, we're using the push
and pull technique now, are we?
779
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:37,560
Oh, we're using the push
and pull technique now, are we?
780
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,600
Oh, yeah. Oh, you got
there in the end.
781
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:40,040
Oh, yeah. Oh, you got
there in the end.
782
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,080
Oh, my goodness, Mary.
Poor Kathy. You know,
783
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:42,520
Oh, my goodness, Mary.
Poor Kathy. You know,
784
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:43,680
think about it. She's retired.
785
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,720
And this is the shit
she's having to do here.
786
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:46,040
And this is the shit
she's having to do here.
787
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,080
She's on all fours
in the back of a Berlingo.
788
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:48,400
She's on all fours
in the back of a Berlingo.
789
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,440
Yeah. Not how she planned
to spend her retirement out.
790
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:51,720
Yeah. Not how she planned
to spend her retirement out.
791
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,760
So, basically, anywhere you go,
he just refuses to get out?
792
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:54,720
So, basically, anywhere you go,
he just refuses to get out?
793
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:55,960
No. Not really.
794
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,000
There's one place he will go.
Where's that?
795
00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:58,280
There's one place he will go.
Where's that?
796
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,320
The pub? That's where I'd go.
797
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:00,680
The pub? That's where I'd go.
798
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,520
And that's the pub.
799
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,560
The pub? He loves the pub!
800
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:05,560
The pub? He loves the pub!
801
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,560
He knows where he's going,
doesn't he?
802
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,600
{\an8}Yeah. Good Lord!Look at that.
Straight in.
803
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:09,880
{\an8}Yeah. Good Lord!Look at that.
Straight in.
804
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,920
There's a spring in his step now.
805
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:12,200
There's a spring in his step now.
806
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:13,600
There's always dog treats
in the pub.
807
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,640
That's the thing.
There is dog treats in the pub.
808
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:16,040
That's the thing.
There is dog treats in the pub.
809
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:17,400
You're right there, Shaun.
810
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,560
Oh! Can he have his usual, please?
811
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:20,840
Oh! Can he have his usual, please?
812
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,640
His usual? Which is?
813
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,040
What's he getting?
814
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,080
THEY LAUGH
815
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:26,800
THEY LAUGH
816
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,240
He's giving him crisps?
817
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:29,440
Back at the house,
818
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,480
Graeme had some pub treats for Rio
to get him up the stairs.
819
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,320
Graeme had some pub treats for Rio
to get him up the stairs.
820
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,360
Now, remember, we need to hit this
with a bit of pub energy.
821
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:36,080
Now, remember, we need to hit this
with a bit of pub energy.
822
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:38,120
Pub energy!
GILES CHUCKLES
823
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:38,440
Pub energy!
GILES CHUCKLES
824
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,480
Come on, pub energy!
Come on, everybody! Giving it pub!
825
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:41,640
Come on, pub energy!
Come on, everybody! Giving it pub!
826
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,600
Come on! Rio!
827
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:44,880
Rio, come on! Come on, Rio!
828
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,200
He's weighing it up. Yeah.
829
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,240
Up, up, up! Come on!
830
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:48,480
Up, up, up! Come on!
831
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:49,680
Rio, come on! Come on!
832
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,360
Yay! Come on, then! Come on!
833
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,920
Yeah, you can do it!
834
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,480
Yeah. Yay!
835
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,200
Come on! We're doing it now.
Oh, I know!
836
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,560
Go on, Rio! Come on! Come on!
837
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,600
CHEERING
838
00:23:59,640 --> 00:23:59,840
CHEERING
839
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:01,360
Go on, Rio!
840
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:02,480
Clever lad.
841
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,200
You've never been up here!
LAUGHING
842
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,640
He's up!
843
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,600
And who would've thought by feeding
a dog treats
844
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,640
it would actually do what you want?
It would do... Exactly.
845
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:09,920
it would actually do what you want?
It would do... Exactly.
846
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:10,960
Never come across that.
847
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:19,880
In Wiltshire...
848
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,920
Now, I'm just doing an inquest
about this pork pie, Nutty.
849
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:22,520
Now, I'm just doing an inquest
about this pork pie, Nutty.
850
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,120
Oh, yes. Are you pleased with it?
851
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:25,800
Erm, sadly, no.
852
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,840
..Giles and his wife Mary.
853
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:28,120
..Giles and his wife Mary.
854
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,160
And I'm not being funny
nor nothing, Mary,
855
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:30,440
And I'm not being funny
nor nothing, Mary,
856
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,480
but that is not a proper pork pie.
857
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:33,160
but that is not a proper pork pie.
858
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,200
So what? It's nicer than a pork pie.
859
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:35,800
So what? It's nicer than a pork pie.
860
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,840
It's a sophisticated...
It's called a pork and pickle pie...
861
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,560
It's a sophisticated...
It's called a pork and pickle pie...
862
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,600
Yes. ..which should immediately send
red lights...buzzing
863
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,640
Yes. ..which should immediately send
red lights...buzzing
864
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,480
Yes. ..which should immediately send
red lights...buzzing
865
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:47,080
in anyone's head.
866
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:48,360
It's soggy. Ew.
867
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,400
Oh, you horrible man.
Stop touching it!
868
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:50,720
Oh, you horrible man.
Stop touching it!
869
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:52,760
I'm going to take it away...
It's soggy. ..if you're ungrateful.
870
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:53,680
I'm going to take it away...
It's soggy. ..if you're ungrateful.
871
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,720
There are 100 men who would say,
872
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:56,360
There are 100 men who would say,
873
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,400
"Ooh, that's a sophisticated
take on a pork pie, Mary.
874
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,240
"Ooh, that's a sophisticated
take on a pork pie, Mary.
875
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,280
"I'm going to have that, thank you."
876
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,320
You're not having it again.
877
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:04,600
You're not having it again.
878
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,640
On Monday, the police were on patrol
again on Channel 5.
879
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,680
On Monday, the police were on patrol
again on Channel 5.
880
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:09,000
On Monday, the police were on patrol
again on Channel 5.
881
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,040
I think you'd be quite a good
Interceptor cos...
882
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:11,360
I think you'd be quite a good
Interceptor cos...
883
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,400
I think if I was the driver
and you were giving me directions,
884
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:14,240
I think if I was the driver
and you were giving me directions,
885
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,280
we would intercept a lot of
criminals. Oh, yeah.
886
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:17,160
we would intercept a lot of
criminals. Oh, yeah.
887
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,200
If I was the driver
and you were giving direction,
888
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:19,480
If I was the driver
and you were giving direction,
889
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,560
we'd end up in Wales.
890
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,120
Intercepting a ditch. Yeah.
891
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,480
Do you know the reason why
I couldn't be a police officer?
892
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:29,240
Do you know the reason why
I couldn't be a police officer?
893
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:30,720
Too short.
894
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:32,200
No.
895
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,240
I wouldn't be able to remember me
collar number.
896
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:34,560
I wouldn't be able to remember me
collar number.
897
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,600
That's... That's not a very nice
thing to say.
898
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:36,880
That's... That's not a very nice
thing to say.
899
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,520
There's a van that's just hit
the camera at Alfred Street.
900
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:41,640
There's a van that's just hit
the camera at Alfred Street.
901
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,680
Oh, the old ANPR's triggered off.
902
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:43,920
Oh, the old ANPR's triggered off.
903
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,280
What's that?
904
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,000
Automatic Number Plate Recognition.
905
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:48,400
Get you!
906
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:49,640
Could work in the police.
907
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,680
So, comments marker, I think
I put it on two days ago,
908
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:52,680
So, comments marker, I think
I put it on two days ago,
909
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,600
the vehicle's in a bad condition.
910
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:55,920
Oh. Uh-oh.
911
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,960
I didn't know Alastair Campbell
had joined the police!
912
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:58,560
I didn't know Alastair Campbell
had joined the police!
913
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,600
So, a white van, while
I was off-duty,
914
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:01,840
So, a white van, while
I was off-duty,
915
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,880
I noticed that the windscreen
was all smashed.
916
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:04,160
I noticed that the windscreen
was all smashed.
917
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,160
Goes to bed wearing the badge.
918
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,200
Welly Road, my sister's shop
used to be on there.
919
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:07,480
Welly Road, my sister's shop
used to be on there.
920
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:08,560
Oh, is that where it was? Yeah.
921
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,000
There we go, it's her, innit?
922
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,680
After a few minutes,
923
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,720
Michael arrives in the area the van
last triggered ANPR.
924
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,760
Michael arrives in the area the van
last triggered ANPR.
925
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,800
Oh, he's gonna find him
if it kills him.
926
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:20,200
Oh, he's gonna find him
if it kills him.
927
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,240
Yeah, he's looking. Yeah,
Michael's gonna have him.
928
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:22,800
Yeah, he's looking. Yeah,
Michael's gonna have him.
929
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,080
There it is.
930
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:28,120
So he lights him up,
and the chap complies.
931
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:28,520
So he lights him up,
and the chap complies.
932
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,120
Comply or die.
933
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,160
OK, so reason I'm stopping you,
obviously your windscreen's smashed.
934
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:33,920
OK, so reason I'm stopping you,
obviously your windscreen's smashed.
935
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,760
Oh, I've had that before.
936
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,720
Literally happened this morning.
No, it didn't.
937
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,680
Oh, porky pies!
938
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,680
Oh, he's a chancer, isn't he?
939
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:43,720
"Oh, just happened this morning,
that. Stone on the road."
940
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,680
"Oh, just happened this morning,
that. Stone on the road."
941
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,480
It's got no MOT and no tax.
942
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:47,680
No MOT?
943
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,640
THEY LAUGH
944
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,600
I love it, the way he's going...
"No MOT?"
945
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:52,760
Are you sure?
946
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,800
I wouldn't say that, you see. I
would say, "It's a fair cop, guv,
947
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,040
I wouldn't say that, you see. I
would say, "It's a fair cop, guv,
948
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,080
"and you've got me bang
to rights." Mm.
949
00:26:58,120 --> 00:26:58,600
"and you've got me bang
to rights." Mm.
950
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,640
Right, cos your tax has expired
951
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:01,120
Right, cos your tax has expired
952
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,160
and it's out of date by three
months or more...
953
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:03,440
and it's out of date by three
months or more...
954
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:04,520
LEE GASPS
955
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,040
..it gives us the power
to seize your vehicle.
956
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,360
Take it, it's smashed anyway.
957
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,400
I'd give him it and say,
"Here, take it, mate."
958
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:09,800
I'd give him it and say,
"Here, take it, mate."
959
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,840
While the driver gathers
his things...
960
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:12,560
While the driver gathers
his things...
961
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,600
Michael's going to have him for
fly-tipping in a minute. I think so.
962
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:15,640
Michael's going to have him for
fly-tipping in a minute. I think so.
963
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,440
Handbrake don't work, does it?
964
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,440
It does. It does not work!
965
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,480
What did he...? The handbrake
don't work.
966
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:21,760
What did he...? The handbrake
don't work.
967
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,800
What the hell has he been doing?
968
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:24,040
What the hell has he been doing?
969
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:25,920
There's nothing on that at all.
970
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,840
That's the handbrake?
971
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,880
Or it's NOT the handbrake. Yeah.
972
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:30,200
Or it's NOT the handbrake. Yeah.
973
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,240
It's like Fred Flintstone's car.
974
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:32,640
It's like Fred Flintstone's car.
975
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,440
Doesn't even start now.
976
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,040
How does the van start?
977
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,080
Just got to wiggle it a bit,
lad. Yeah. Shake it.
978
00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:38,760
Just got to wiggle it a bit,
lad. Yeah. Shake it.
979
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,800
Give it a jimmy and then
rock right to left
980
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:41,120
Give it a jimmy and then
rock right to left
981
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,920
and the engine'll start, yeah.
982
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,960
Oh, my God, it's a shed
on blood wheels, that thing.
983
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:45,720
Oh, my God, it's a shed
on blood wheels, that thing.
984
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:47,680
So, those are the details
you need to give
985
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:49,440
to get your vehicle back, all right?
986
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:50,760
Thanks very much. All right?
987
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:51,840
Good luck to you.
988
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,400
Have a nice day.
989
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,440
ON PHONE: Our policies require them
to have a valid MOT and tax.
990
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:56,920
ON PHONE: Our policies require them
to have a valid MOT and tax.
991
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:58,960
Oh! He's got a hat-trick here
has mate who was driving. Yeah.
992
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,000
Oh! He's got a hat-trick here
has mate who was driving. Yeah.
993
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,000
Oh! He's got a hat-trick here
has mate who was driving. Yeah.
994
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,040
..saying that the vehicle is taxed
and MOT'd.
995
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:04,480
..saying that the vehicle is taxed
and MOT'd.
996
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,520
If it is not, it immediately
invalidates his cover.
997
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:06,840
If it is not, it immediately
invalidates his cover.
998
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,880
You know he's like,
"Yes, yes, yes, yes!"
999
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:09,400
You know he's like,
"Yes, yes, yes, yes!"
1000
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,440
So he's not insured now.
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
1001
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:12,000
So he's not insured now.
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
1002
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,040
The driver pleaded guilty to no
insurance, no MOT,
1003
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,520
The driver pleaded guilty to no
insurance, no MOT,
1004
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,280
and driving a dangerous vehicle.
1005
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:18,320
What does he get, then?
1006
00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:20,200
He got six points on his licence
1007
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,240
and over £1,700 in fines.
1008
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,080
and over £1,700 in fines.
1009
00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:25,120
1,700 quid in fines.
1010
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:25,440
1,700 quid in fines.
1011
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:26,680
Shit a brick.
1012
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,080
More than the van's worth.
1013
00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:30,560
SHE LAUGHS
1014
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,560
Offset it against the van.
1015
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:34,800
Offset it against the van.
1016
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:36,840
Can I part-ex the van on my fines?
1017
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:37,120
Can I part-ex the van on my fines?
1018
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,240
In the Cotswolds...
1019
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,280
Oh, my God, the tiredness in my body
knows no bounds.
1020
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:44,960
Oh, my God, the tiredness in my body
knows no bounds.
1021
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,000
Well, the tiredness in his body,
but he's to blame.
1022
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:48,040
Well, the tiredness in his body,
but he's to blame.
1023
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:49,520
He's completely to blame.
1024
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,120
I don't know what that was about,
1025
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,160
until 4:30 in the morning
last night.
1026
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:53,440
until 4:30 in the morning
last night.
1027
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,480
..Andrew and his husband Alfie.
1028
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:55,760
..Andrew and his husband Alfie.
1029
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,800
Were you literally up all night
with him? Yes, pretty much.
1030
00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:58,080
Were you literally up all night
with him? Yes, pretty much.
1031
00:28:58,120 --> 00:28:59,520
OK, this is not funny, Pablo.
1032
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:00,920
Yeah, I need a nap, kid.
1033
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:02,960
Excuse me. Pablo. Hello? Wake up.
1034
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:03,240
Excuse me. Pablo. Hello? Wake up.
1035
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,280
I'm not surprised he's
like that. Pablo.
1036
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:05,720
I'm not surprised he's
like that. Pablo.
1037
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,760
Are you interested in
watching television?
1038
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:08,040
Are you interested in
watching television?
1039
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,120
Earth to Pablo.
1040
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:10,720
Not happening.
1041
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:11,880
That should be me.
1042
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,320
On Friday, it was all eyes
on Burnham
1043
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:15,840
On Friday, it was all eyes
on Burnham
1044
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:17,880
in a by-election on BBC News.
1045
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,120
in a by-election on BBC News.
1046
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:20,400
It should come out.
1047
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:21,600
Go on! Go on!
1048
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,200
He ain't there, Ann. He is.
1049
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,160
What are you flapping about with?
1050
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:26,400
He's not there.
1051
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,440
In southern Ireland, it's such a
small community
1052
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,400
In southern Ireland, it's such a
small community
1053
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,440
that the news is
genuinely interesting,
1054
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:33,040
that the news is
genuinely interesting,
1055
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,080
and they would have
somebody on saying...
1056
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:35,600
and they would have
somebody on saying...
1057
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,640
BAD IRISH ACCENT:"A woman's car
broke down
1058
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:38,440
BAD IRISH ACCENT:"A woman's car
broke down
1059
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,480
"in, erm, Blanchardstown yesterday
at three o'clock
1060
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,520
"in, erm, Blanchardstown yesterday
at three o'clock
1061
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:43,600
"in, erm, Blanchardstown yesterday
at three o'clock
1062
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:45,640
"and a very kind man stopped and
helped her to get it going again.
1063
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:47,680
"and a very kind man stopped and
helped her to get it going again.
1064
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:48,320
"and a very kind man stopped and
helped her to get it going again.
1065
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,360
"When she got home, she found
his jacket in the back of the car
1066
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,040
"When she got home, she found
his jacket in the back of the car
1067
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,080
"and she's no idea what
his name was.
1068
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:54,800
"and she's no idea what
his name was.
1069
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,840
"If you're watching,
would you come forward?"
1070
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:57,560
"If you're watching,
would you come forward?"
1071
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,520
NORMAL VOICE:And then by the end
of the programme... Yeah.
1072
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,560
..the man whose car it was
would've rung in. Yes.
1073
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:02,360
..the man whose car it was
would've rung in. Yes.
1074
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,400
Do they all speak as if they've
got a Jamaican accent, Nutty?
1075
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:05,520
Do they all speak as if they've
got a Jamaican accent, Nutty?
1076
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:07,160
Jamaicans and Irish are very,
very similar.
1077
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,040
Jamaican and Irish is very similar.
1078
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,200
Good evening and welcome to the
BBC News at Six.
1079
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:12,680
Good evening and welcome to the
BBC News at Six.
1080
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,720
BAD IRISH ACCENT:A lorry driver
parked his car on O'Connell Street
1081
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:15,560
BAD IRISH ACCENT:A lorry driver
parked his car on O'Connell Street
1082
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,600
yesterday, just left it for a
minute, but while he was gone,
1083
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,080
yesterday, just left it for a
minute, but while he was gone,
1084
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,160
somebody stole his mobile phone
1085
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,200
with his last pictures of his
daughter on them.
1086
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:24,040
with his last pictures of his
daughter on them.
1087
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,640
Would you give it back?
1088
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,680
The Mayor of Greater Manchester,
Andy Burnham,
1089
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:28,040
The Mayor of Greater Manchester,
Andy Burnham,
1090
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,080
has tonight been given permission
by Labour's ruling body,
1091
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,760
has tonight been given permission
by Labour's ruling body,
1092
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,800
the National Executive Committee, to
stand in the Makerfield by-election.
1093
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,840
the National Executive Committee, to
stand in the Makerfield by-election.
1094
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:36,280
the National Executive Committee, to
stand in the Makerfield by-election.
1095
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,120
Which is what he was hoping for.
1096
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,160
It's happening. Cos he can't go for
Prime Minister if he isn't an MP.
1097
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:41,200
It's happening. Cos he can't go for
Prime Minister if he isn't an MP.
1098
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,840
Yes, a bit tricky, that one.
1099
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:44,880
After he was blocked from taking
part in another by-election
1100
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:45,640
After he was blocked from taking
part in another by-election
1101
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:46,960
earlier this year.
1102
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,400
Oh, he was, yeah, that's right.
1103
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:50,160
He would've won that, as well.
Keir blocked him.
1104
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,200
Team Burnham, so we want him
doing all right across the country.
1105
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:53,680
Team Burnham, so we want him
doing all right across the country.
1106
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:55,720
The Labour MP Josh Simons announced
he was stepping down yesterday
1107
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:57,000
The Labour MP Josh Simons announced
he was stepping down yesterday
1108
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,040
to give Andy Burnham a chance to
make it back to the Commons.
1109
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:00,520
to give Andy Burnham a chance to
make it back to the Commons.
1110
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,560
Don't you find it all quite creepy
and weird, this?
1111
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:03,320
Don't you find it all quite creepy
and weird, this?
1112
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,320
Cos the chap's had to give up,
hasn't he?
1113
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,360
Said, "Right, I'll give up,
and you can stand in my seat." Yeah.
1114
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:08,440
Said, "Right, I'll give up,
and you can stand in my seat." Yeah.
1115
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,480
Allowing him then to challenge
Sir Keir Starmer for the leadership.
1116
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:11,920
Allowing him then to challenge
Sir Keir Starmer for the leadership.
1117
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:13,920
Yeah, but he has to win that seat.
1118
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:15,960
It's not guaranteed, is it? No. No.
1119
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:16,240
It's not guaranteed, is it? No. No.
1120
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,280
Of course he'll win that seat.
He's the king of the north.
1121
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:19,520
Of course he'll win that seat.
He's the king of the north.
1122
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:21,560
Get ready for an almighty
by-election race.
1123
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:22,320
Get ready for an almighty
by-election race.
1124
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:23,440
Oh, dear.
1125
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,480
A bit small, the shorts,
aren't they?
1126
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:25,800
A bit small, the shorts,
aren't they?
1127
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:27,680
Andy Burnham has been given
the green light
1128
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,520
to apply to be Labour's candidate.
1129
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:31,560
He's doing the old, er,
Boris Johnson method,
1130
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:32,640
He's doing the old, er,
Boris Johnson method,
1131
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,600
running in tiny shorts.
1132
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:35,760
It worked for him.
1133
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,640
I don't know if it did!
1134
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:39,680
I'd be fuming if someone caught me
like that, honestly.
1135
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:40,840
I'd be fuming if someone caught me
like that, honestly.
1136
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,880
You've got to give it to him,
though, his calves are really good.
1137
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:44,360
You've got to give it to him,
though, his calves are really good.
1138
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,120
Are they not? Look at them.
1139
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,000
All right? All right, mate, yeah.
Good to see you, man.
1140
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,040
The Mayor of Greater Manchester
is popular with Labour's left...
1141
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:50,840
The Mayor of Greater Manchester
is popular with Labour's left...
1142
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,280
Well, he's popular with
that one man.
1143
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,320
"Good to see you, man."
Yeah, he got one.
1144
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:54,640
"Good to see you, man."
Yeah, he got one.
1145
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,520
It's quite a feat to nail
a handshake
1146
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,560
on an escalator going the other way.
1147
00:31:58,600 --> 00:31:58,880
on an escalator going the other way.
1148
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,920
..who think he could turn things
around for the Government
1149
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:01,600
..who think he could turn things
around for the Government
1150
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,640
and could soon be challenging
Keir Starmer
1151
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:03,920
and could soon be challenging
Keir Starmer
1152
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:05,640
for the keys to Downing Street.
1153
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,680
I think Burnham's done a decent
job around Manchester.
1154
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:08,480
I think Burnham's done a decent
job around Manchester.
1155
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,520
He stopped the congestion charge
and that's good enough for me.
1156
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:10,840
He stopped the congestion charge
and that's good enough for me.
1157
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,880
That would've cost us
silly money every day.
1158
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:13,160
That would've cost us
silly money every day.
1159
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,480
Now he's made the buses better.
1160
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,520
The Prime Minister wants you to
think he's getting on with the job.
1161
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,000
The Prime Minister wants you to
think he's getting on with the job.
1162
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,040
Wants YOU to think he's
getting on with the job.
1163
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:20,560
Wants YOU to think he's
getting on with the job.
1164
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,600
He really wants you to think that,
yeah. But, actually,
1165
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:23,000
He really wants you to think that,
yeah. But, actually,
1166
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,040
the economic indicators over
the last few weeks are bloody good.
1167
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,080
the economic indicators over
the last few weeks are bloody good.
1168
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:27,360
the economic indicators over
the last few weeks are bloody good.
1169
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,400
The country, GDP had gone up
1170
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:30,240
The country, GDP had gone up
1171
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,280
and waiting times on the NHS
had gone down.
1172
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:32,600
and waiting times on the NHS
had gone down.
1173
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,520
So it's like he's quietly
getting on with it.
1174
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:36,040
There's a lot of stuff that
needs fixing.
1175
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:37,600
Do we really need to be
messing about
1176
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,320
with a bloody leadership change? No.
1177
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:40,760
We don't, do we? I don't think.
1178
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:42,800
In Makerfield today, Labour
were out campaigning already...
1179
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:43,560
In Makerfield today, Labour
were out campaigning already...
1180
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,600
You'd be buzzing if you were
from Makerfield, wouldn't you?
1181
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:45,960
You'd be buzzing if you were
from Makerfield, wouldn't you?
1182
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,000
Putting your town on map, be
a chance to get your head on telly.
1183
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:49,200
Putting your town on map, be
a chance to get your head on telly.
1184
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,240
Exactly. You'd be up and down t'
high street, wouldn't you,
1185
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:51,680
Exactly. You'd be up and down t'
high street, wouldn't you,
1186
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,720
all t' time trying to get someone to
throw a mic at you
1187
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:54,480
all t' time trying to get someone to
throw a mic at you
1188
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,120
so you can give an opinion?
1189
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,160
..including Josh Simons, the man
who's standing down
1190
00:32:58,200 --> 00:32:58,840
..including Josh Simons, the man
who's standing down
1191
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:00,880
to give Andy Burnham a route
back into Parliament.
1192
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:01,400
to give Andy Burnham a route
back into Parliament.
1193
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,320
It depends how many people turn
out on the day, innit,
1194
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:04,480
how much they're interested?
1195
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,520
But saying that, this is building up
a lot of interest in it,
1196
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:06,840
But saying that, this is building up
a lot of interest in it,
1197
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,840
so people will come out to vote,
won't they? Hopefully.
1198
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,880
Cos this could be, like,
country changing leadership.
1199
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:11,200
Cos this could be, like,
country changing leadership.
1200
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,240
A bumpy week for Labour,
the Government, and the country.
1201
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,680
A bumpy week for Labour,
the Government, and the country.
1202
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:16,560
It's unlikely to be the last.
1203
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,600
I just think, are we ever going
to have a Prime Minister
1204
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,360
I just think, are we ever going
to have a Prime Minister
1205
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,400
do the full term that they've been
elected for?
1206
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:23,320
do the full term that they've been
elected for?
1207
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,360
It'd be nice, wouldn't it?
It'd be nice for a change. Yeah.
1208
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:26,080
It'd be nice, wouldn't it?
It'd be nice for a change. Yeah.
1209
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:27,440
The pound is plummeting,
1210
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,480
and they're going to throw
the country into disarray...
1211
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:30,080
and they're going to throw
the country into disarray...
1212
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,120
Yeah. ..when there's a global stage
we should be standing on.
1213
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,040
Yeah. ..when there's a global stage
we should be standing on.
1214
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,080
And, yes, Keir Starmer is boring,
1215
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:35,360
And, yes, Keir Starmer is boring,
1216
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,400
but it's early on,
just let him get on with it,
1217
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:38,000
but it's early on,
just let him get on with it,
1218
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,040
because no-one else, at this stage,
is going to make it any better.
1219
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,320
because no-one else, at this stage,
is going to make it any better.
1220
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,360
They're not. They're going to
probably make it worse.
1221
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:43,960
They're not. They're going to
probably make it worse.
1222
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,480
In Blackpool...Soph, you know how
Paige has been begging me
1223
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,200
In Blackpool...Soph, you know how
Paige has been begging me
1224
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,240
to get rid of the three-wheeled van
out the garage?
1225
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:57,560
to get rid of the three-wheeled van
out the garage?
1226
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,600
Have you sold it? No.
No, she's never getting sold.
1227
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:00,800
Have you sold it? No.
No, she's never getting sold.
1228
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,840
But I've been able to put it
in a lock-up.
1229
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,440
But I've been able to put it
in a lock-up.
1230
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,480
..Pete and his little sister Sophie.
1231
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:06,920
..Pete and his little sister Sophie.
1232
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,960
I managed to get it in the back
of a long wheelbase transit van.
1233
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:09,640
I managed to get it in the back
of a long wheelbase transit van.
1234
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:11,680
Jesus Christ.
Almost like a Russian doll set-up.
1235
00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:13,280
Jesus Christ.
Almost like a Russian doll set-up.
1236
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,320
Straight in the back of a van.
Van in a van. Yeah.
1237
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,200
Straight in the back of a van.
Van in a van. Yeah.
1238
00:34:16,240 --> 00:34:18,240
So, we lifted it straight in,
it was dead easy.
1239
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:19,200
So, we lifted it straight in,
it was dead easy.
1240
00:34:19,240 --> 00:34:21,240
But to get it out, we thought,
"Oh, well, we'll just roll it out."
1241
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:22,680
But to get it out, we thought,
"Oh, well, we'll just roll it out."
1242
00:34:22,720 --> 00:34:24,720
So we put the two planks either side
to wheel it out.
1243
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:26,720
So we put the two planks either side
to wheel it out.
1244
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,680
Only we'd forgotten
that it was three wheels.
1245
00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:30,360
Yeah, what about the middle wheel?
1246
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,320
Well...
THEY LAUGH
1247
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,360
As we're pushing it out
the back of the van... Oh, no.
1248
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:35,680
As we're pushing it out
the back of the van... Oh, no.
1249
00:34:35,720 --> 00:34:37,720
..it just went...
SHE LAUGHS
1250
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:38,240
..it just went...
SHE LAUGHS
1251
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:39,720
On Thursday night,
1252
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,760
the end was in sight
for these backpackers on BBC One.
1253
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:43,560
the end was in sight
for these backpackers on BBC One.
1254
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,600
Watch out! Beep, beep!
1255
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:45,840
Watch out! Beep, beep!
1256
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:47,520
Race Across The World. Sit!
1257
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,560
It's now not Race Across The world,
Soph, it's The Final Race.
1258
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,040
It's now not Race Across The world,
Soph, it's The Final Race.
1259
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,080
Final Race Across The World.
Across The World.
1260
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:53,400
Final Race Across The World.
Across The World.
1261
00:34:56,720 --> 00:34:58,720
I mean, could you imagine me
doing Race Across The World, Steve?
1262
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:00,280
I mean, could you imagine me
doing Race Across The World, Steve?
1263
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,320
I'd have to get taxis everywhere.
1264
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,000
I'd have to get taxis everywhere.
1265
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,040
And then where would... Taxi. Limo.
1266
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,120
And then where would... Taxi. Limo.
1267
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,040
Let's do this. 5:00am.
1268
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,080
Departing as race leaders
for the second time...
1269
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:10,520
Departing as race leaders
for the second time...
1270
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:12,560
Thank you. Thank you so much.
..Jo and Kush.This is it.
1271
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,160
Thank you. Thank you so much.
..Jo and Kush.This is it.
1272
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,200
This is the last leg now, innit?
Last leg.
1273
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:16,880
This is the last leg now, innit?
Last leg.
1274
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,920
Do you know, these are real good
mates, these two. Yeah, they are.
1275
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:19,600
Do you know, these are real good
mates, these two. Yeah, they are.
1276
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,640
They've got each other through it,
I think. Hatgal. Let's go.
1277
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:23,320
They've got each other through it,
I think. Hatgal. Let's go.
1278
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,600
Hatgal. Hatgal. Hatgal! Hatgal!
1279
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:28,080
Hatgal. Hatgal. Hatgal! Hatgal!
1280
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,120
Hatgal. Where the hell's that?
Mongolia.
1281
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:31,800
Hatgal. Where the hell's that?
Mongolia.
1282
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,320
{\an8}The boys plan to swing east,
1283
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:35,360
taking a chance on connections
from the capital
1284
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:35,680
taking a chance on connections
from the capital
1285
00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:37,720
to Mongolia's second largest city,
Erdenet.
1286
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:38,920
to Mongolia's second largest city,
Erdenet.
1287
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:40,960
That's the route I'd take.
The train?
1288
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:41,360
That's the route I'd take.
The train?
1289
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,400
Well, where you're well-connected.
Yeah.
1290
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:43,720
Well, where you're well-connected.
Yeah.
1291
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,560
It's a bit like sometimes
you just gotta go into London
1292
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,600
to get back out. Exactly.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah.
1293
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:48,080
to get back out. Exactly.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah.
1294
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,120
Let's find an overnight train
to Erdenet.
1295
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:50,640
Let's find an overnight train
to Erdenet.
1296
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:53,920
What the hell?
Oh, what's the matter?
1297
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:55,480
Don't tell me they're all cancelled.
1298
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,520
What are you thinking? There's
no trains we can get tonight.
1299
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:57,800
What are you thinking? There's
no trains we can get tonight.
1300
00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:59,840
No trains they can get tonight.
1301
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:00,080
No trains they can get tonight.
1302
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,120
God. Get a bus. A bus? Autobus?
1303
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,240
God. Get a bus. A bus? Autobus?
1304
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,280
"Un bus." "Beep-beep."
1305
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:06,400
"Un bus." "Beep-beep."
1306
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,200
No? Only train ticket.
1307
00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:11,080
No? Only train ticket.
1308
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,120
This is really a case of computer
says no, Nutty, isn't it? Yeah.
1309
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:14,920
This is really a case of computer
says no, Nutty, isn't it? Yeah.
1310
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,960
They've dropped a bollock herself.
This could be the difference
1311
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:17,280
They've dropped a bollock herself.
This could be the difference
1312
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,160
between winning or losing this,
you know.
1313
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,200
Andrew and Molly
have pushed into the lead
1314
00:36:21,240 --> 00:36:21,480
Andrew and Molly
have pushed into the lead
1315
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:23,480
by arriving into Tsetserleg.
1316
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,240
Oh, they've gone the other route.
1317
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,280
OK, they've overtaken them. Yeah.
This is going to be close.
1318
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:28,840
OK, they've overtaken them. Yeah.
This is going to be close.
1319
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,800
Can we ask you
a really important question?
1320
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,840
We need to get to Jargalant.
Jargalant.
1321
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:33,560
We need to get to Jargalant.
Jargalant.
1322
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,600
They are enlisting the help
of guest house owner
1323
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:35,880
They are enlisting the help
of guest house owner
1324
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,400
and tour operator Murray.
1325
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:39,440
Oh, now, that's clever.
A tour operator.
1326
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:39,840
Oh, now, that's clever.
A tour operator.
1327
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,880
He's going to know what he's doing,
doesn't he?
1328
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:42,240
He's going to know what he's doing,
doesn't he?
1329
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:44,200
Andrew and Molly.
Jammy, aren't they?
1330
00:36:44,240 --> 00:36:46,240
Landed right on their feet with him,
haven't they?
1331
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:46,680
Landed right on their feet with him,
haven't they?
1332
00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:48,720
That's it there. OK.
1333
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:49,160
That's it there. OK.
1334
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:53,960
How many Jargalants are there?
1335
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,000
Oh, there's loads of them.
What, all the same names? Yeah.
1336
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:57,520
Oh, there's loads of them.
What, all the same names? Yeah.
1337
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:59,560
Throughout Mongolia, it's common
for places to share the same name,
1338
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,040
Throughout Mongolia, it's common
for places to share the same name,
1339
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,080
Jargalant being especially popular.
1340
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:03,920
Jargalant being especially popular.
1341
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,960
There's loads!
1342
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:06,240
There's loads!
1343
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,280
Well, how do you know which bleeding
Jargalant you're going to go?
1344
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:08,960
Well, how do you know which bleeding
Jargalant you're going to go?
1345
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,000
Well, I suppose you've got to go
for the one in the middle.
1346
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:11,320
Well, I suppose you've got to go
for the one in the middle.
1347
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:12,920
Middle Jargalant.
Yeah, it's that middle one.
1348
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:14,880
"Take me direct to middle
Jargalant." Not gonna go over
1349
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:16,920
to the right, are you?
Fuck right Jargalant.
1350
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:17,160
to the right, are you?
Fuck right Jargalant.
1351
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:21,720
Oh, my goodness.
1352
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:23,480
This is travelling, Jane.
1353
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,240
Oh, my God, look at that road!
1354
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,280
Well, that's a boneshaker,
isn't it?
1355
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:27,560
Well, that's a boneshaker,
isn't it?
1356
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,480
You'd be as sick as a dog. Oh!
1357
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,520
Very in the middle of nowhere.
1358
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:31,800
Very in the middle of nowhere.
1359
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:33,840
Andrew and Molly
have arrived in Jargalant.
1360
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:34,600
Andrew and Molly
have arrived in Jargalant.
1361
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,640
Oh, they're there.
Jargalant. Here we go.
1362
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:37,200
Oh, they're there.
Jargalant. Here we go.
1363
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,600
I hope this is the right Jargalant.
So do I.
1364
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,120
ALL:Oh!
1365
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,160
Oh, no! He's took him to the wrong
one. He's took him to the wrong one.
1366
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:54,440
Oh, no! He's took him to the wrong
one. He's took him to the wrong one.
1367
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,280
He's took him to the wrong one. No!
1368
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,320
Well, I mean, there was five.
It's easy done.
1369
00:37:58,360 --> 00:37:58,640
Well, I mean, there was five.
It's easy done.
1370
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:00,680
Where is he?
1371
00:38:00,720 --> 00:38:00,960
Where is he?
1372
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,000
I don't understand.
I don't understand either,
1373
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:03,720
I don't understand.
I don't understand either,
1374
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:05,680
but I know you're in
the wrong frigging place.
1375
00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:07,720
We pointed to the right one,
I think, on the map last night.
1376
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,520
We pointed to the right one,
I think, on the map last night.
1377
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,560
This is where
the blame game starts now.
1378
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:12,000
This is where
the blame game starts now.
1379
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,040
The dad's mad,
he's just gone silent.
1380
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:14,360
The dad's mad,
he's just gone silent.
1381
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,400
She's the mouthpiece in this.
He's gone nonverbal.
1382
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:17,080
She's the mouthpiece in this.
He's gone nonverbal.
1383
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:18,320
Are we in the wrong one?
1384
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:23,000
You know what? You won't be the
first, you won't be the last
1385
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:24,440
that's mixed up your Jargalants.
1386
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:26,480
Surely, now they have to rethink
what they're doing. Oh, yeah.
1387
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:26,800
Surely, now they have to rethink
what they're doing. Oh, yeah.
1388
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,400
They can't be staying
in Jargalant any more.
1389
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,440
No, no, Jargalant is a no-go now.
1390
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:31,080
No, no, Jargalant is a no-go now.
1391
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,120
They'll have to go to Jargalant
instead. Yeah.
1392
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:33,880
They'll have to go to Jargalant
instead. Yeah.
1393
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,760
Later in the programme,
after getting things back on track,
1394
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,080
Later in the programme,
after getting things back on track,
1395
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,120
both teams were closing in
on the finish line.
1396
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:41,800
both teams were closing in
on the finish line.
1397
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,000
Let's go. Let's go.
1398
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,080
I see it, Katie. I'm coming!
1399
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,160
Right, come on. Who's in front?
1400
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,200
Is that... Is that the end?
..Molly and Andrew? I can't tell.
1401
00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:52,800
Is that... Is that the end?
..Molly and Andrew? I can't tell.
1402
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:54,840
No, no. I can't tell.
I think it's Jo and Kush.
1403
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:55,840
No, no. I can't tell.
I think it's Jo and Kush.
1404
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:57,880
This is it, bro.
1405
00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:58,200
This is it, bro.
1406
00:38:58,240 --> 00:38:59,920
Oh, they're nearly there. Yeah.
1407
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:01,960
Oh, let the best team win.
Come on. Yeah.
1408
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:02,280
Oh, let the best team win.
Come on. Yeah.
1409
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,320
I feel sick, I feel sick.
1410
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:04,800
I feel sick, I feel sick.
1411
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,840
I think that's the boys.
It's the boys. Are they first?
1412
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:07,400
I think that's the boys.
It's the boys. Are they first?
1413
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,440
Well, let's see,
when the open the book.
1414
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:09,840
Well, let's see,
when the open the book.
1415
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:11,880
If you open that book and there's
another name in it, you'd be sick,
1416
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:12,200
If you open that book and there's
another name in it, you'd be sick,
1417
00:39:12,240 --> 00:39:14,240
wouldn't you? "You've successfully
reached the finish line."
1418
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:14,560
wouldn't you? "You've successfully
reached the finish line."
1419
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,600
"Please sign in overleaf
and find if you won the race."
1420
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:17,680
"Please sign in overleaf
and find if you won the race."
1421
00:39:17,720 --> 00:39:19,720
Yeah, but are they the first?
Who's the first? Who's first?
1422
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:20,600
Yeah, but are they the first?
Who's the first? Who's first?
1423
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,640
Oh, turn it over! I know,
it's killing me, the suspense.
1424
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:23,400
Oh, turn it over! I know,
it's killing me, the suspense.
1425
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,440
I know, yeah. Come on!
1426
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:25,680
I know, yeah. Come on!
1427
00:39:25,720 --> 00:39:26,800
Three. Two. One.
1428
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,480
They won.
THEY CHEER
1429
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:31,640
They won.
THEY CHEER
1430
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,680
Oh! Fantastic, boys!
1431
00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:34,480
Oh! Fantastic, boys!
1432
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:35,920
Oh, my God!
1433
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:37,960
THEY SHOUT AND LAUGH
1434
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:38,480
THEY SHOUT AND LAUGH
1435
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:39,840
Yo!
1436
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:41,880
Well, they deserved to win. You need
to sign it first, you cretin!
1437
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:43,080
Well, they deserved to win. You need
to sign it first, you cretin!
1438
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,960
Yeah, cos someone
could come up behind you
1439
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,360
while you're larking around.
1440
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,400
I think if, um...
1441
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:48,880
I think if, um...
1442
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,920
I would have won £10,000
at 19 years old,
1443
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:52,960
I would have won £10,000
at 19 years old,
1444
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,480
I would have won £10,000
at 19 years old,
1445
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,520
it would have been blown
in River Island and on Jagerbombs.
1446
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,560
it would have been blown
in River Island and on Jagerbombs.
1447
00:39:58,600 --> 00:39:58,880
it would have been blown
in River Island and on Jagerbombs.
1448
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:00,920
I feel sorry for Jo and Kush
because there's not going to be
1449
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:02,080
I feel sorry for Jo and Kush
because there's not going to be
1450
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,120
a Wetherspoons around there
to celebrate in.
1451
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:04,680
a Wetherspoons around there
to celebrate in.
1452
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:08,200
In Leeds...
1453
00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:10,240
I'm practising my waitress skills.
1454
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:10,560
I'm practising my waitress skills.
1455
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:12,320
Look. Daniella,
you're stressing me out.
1456
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:14,360
Why? Keep it sensible.
Oh, God, you know what?
1457
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:14,680
Why? Keep it sensible.
Oh, God, you know what?
1458
00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:16,680
You ruin all the fun.
I don't ruin the fun.
1459
00:40:16,720 --> 00:40:18,560
I just like to play it safe.
1460
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,600
..best friends
Danielle and Daniella.
1461
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:21,400
..best friends
Danielle and Daniella.
1462
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,440
Show me. How would you carry them?
Show me.
1463
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:24,080
Show me. How would you carry them?
Show me.
1464
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,120
You only had two. And a mug.
1465
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:26,760
You only had two. And a mug.
1466
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,680
So you hold it like that.
1467
00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:30,720
And then, see these two here,
that's a stable... Yeah?
1468
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,760
And then, see these two here,
that's a stable... Yeah?
1469
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:33,040
And then, see these two here,
that's a stable... Yeah?
1470
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,800
Oh, piss... Oh!
1471
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:36,840
THEY LAUGH
1472
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:38,880
THEY LAUGH
1473
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:40,920
On Sunday night, a bunch of Gen Z's
were swapping their lives
1474
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:42,960
On Sunday night, a bunch of Gen Z's
were swapping their lives
1475
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:43,280
On Sunday night, a bunch of Gen Z's
were swapping their lives
1476
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,320
for something completely different
on Channel 5.
1477
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:46,640
for something completely different
on Channel 5.
1478
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,680
If somebody took over my... They'd
love it. Oh, yeah. They wouldn't
1479
00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:49,000
If somebody took over my... They'd
love it. Oh, yeah. They wouldn't
1480
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:51,000
want to go back to their normal
life. No, they wouldn't.
1481
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:52,880
They're likely being a lazy bastard.
1482
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:54,920
HE LAUGHS
1483
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:55,120
HE LAUGHS
1484
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:00,080
Is this that film with, erm...
With that man in it... No.
1485
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,520
Is this that film with, erm...
With that man in it... No.
1486
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,560
..where they're... No. No.
1487
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:04,040
..where they're... No. No.
1488
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,080
If you had to trade places,
who would you trade places with?
1489
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,120
If you had to trade places,
who would you trade places with?
1490
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,560
If you had to trade places,
who would you trade places with?
1491
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,280
With Nitro's wife.
1492
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,840
Jesus. Yeah. You didn't take long
enough to think about that. No.
1493
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:16,880
Jesus. Yeah. You didn't take long
enough to think about that. No.
1494
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:17,360
Jesus. Yeah. You didn't take long
enough to think about that. No.
1495
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,400
That was instantaneous, that was.
I know. Bang! Yeah.
1496
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:20,800
That was instantaneous, that was.
I know. Bang! Yeah.
1497
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:24,960
Steeped in history and tradition...
1498
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:27,800
..Christ College Brecon
1499
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,840
is among the most prestigious
boarding schools in the country.
1500
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:30,440
is among the most prestigious
boarding schools in the country.
1501
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,480
It's so prestigious,
we haven't heard of it. Yeah.
1502
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:32,800
It's so prestigious,
we haven't heard of it. Yeah.
1503
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:34,760
I think it's quite prestigious
in Wales.
1504
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:37,920
And it's about to welcome three new
students who'd written school off.
1505
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:39,920
And it's about to welcome three new
students who'd written school off.
1506
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:41,960
This is like the real-life boarders.
Yeah.
1507
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:42,360
This is like the real-life boarders.
Yeah.
1508
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,400
I'm not an academic person at all.
I get easily distracted.
1509
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:45,680
I'm not an academic person at all.
I get easily distracted.
1510
00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:47,720
That's like me. Mm.
1511
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:48,000
That's like me. Mm.
1512
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,040
I like to question authority.
If I don't understand why
1513
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:50,360
I like to question authority.
If I don't understand why
1514
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,160
you're telling me to do something,
I'm just not going to do it.
1515
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:54,200
This is going to be interesting.
I love these shows, man.
1516
00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:55,440
This is going to be interesting.
I love these shows, man.
1517
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,480
That's going to go down well,
in the private school.
1518
00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:58,040
That's going to go down well,
in the private school.
1519
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,080
I used to get in trouble
just from talking too much.
1520
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,040
I used to get in trouble
just from talking too much.
1521
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,080
Me too. Here, I'm like all of these
children in the back of this car.
1522
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:04,720
Me too. Here, I'm like all of these
children in the back of this car.
1523
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:06,520
Just all mixed into one.
1524
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,560
They're going to mix with people
that want to do well.
1525
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:09,440
They're going to mix with people
that want to do well.
1526
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:11,480
Which might brush off. Exactly.
1527
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:11,880
Which might brush off. Exactly.
1528
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:13,920
Christ college is run
by headmaster Mr Pearson...
1529
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:15,200
Christ college is run
by headmaster Mr Pearson...
1530
00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:17,000
He looks rather fierce.
1531
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,040
..a no-nonsense former
Royal Marine...Oh, bloody hell.
1532
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,320
..a no-nonsense former
Royal Marine...Oh, bloody hell.
1533
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:22,360
..who leads the school with a
cast-iron belief in the Brecon way.
1534
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:23,960
..who leads the school with a
cast-iron belief in the Brecon way.
1535
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,000
People are like dogs.
Dogs need to be trained
1536
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:27,400
People are like dogs.
Dogs need to be trained
1537
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,440
and disciplined and punished,
and people need to be punished, too,
1538
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:30,640
and disciplined and punished,
and people need to be punished, too,
1539
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:32,280
if they're not working.
1540
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:34,320
For a prospective family looking
to buy this education,
1541
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:35,200
For a prospective family looking
to buy this education,
1542
00:42:35,240 --> 00:42:37,240
that could be £250,000
over five or six years.
1543
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:38,400
that could be £250,000
over five or six years.
1544
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,440
A lot of money. What?! How much?!
1545
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:41,440
A lot of money. What?! How much?!
1546
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:43,480
50 grand a year?
That's more than me house is worth.
1547
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:44,840
50 grand a year?
That's more than me house is worth.
1548
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:46,880
You'll come here for breakfast,
lunch and supper.
1549
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:47,240
You'll come here for breakfast,
lunch and supper.
1550
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:49,280
Breakfast is quite early,
by the way. 7:30. 7:30am?
1551
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,320
Breakfast is quite early,
by the way. 7:30. 7:30am?
1552
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:51,640
Breakfast is quite early,
by the way. 7:30. 7:30am?
1553
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:53,680
Yeah, "am". It's breakfast.
She's literally doing the maths.
1554
00:42:53,720 --> 00:42:54,720
Yeah, "am". It's breakfast.
She's literally doing the maths.
1555
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:56,440
She's like, "I'm going to have to
get up at 4:00am
1556
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:57,960
"so I can get my edges laid."
1557
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,000
The next day, after an early start,
it was off to assembly.
1558
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,040
The next day, after an early start,
it was off to assembly.
1559
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:02,600
The next day, after an early start,
it was off to assembly.
1560
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:04,640
Got to be on time.
I'm actually going to die.
1561
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:05,160
Got to be on time.
I'm actually going to die.
1562
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:07,200
I think the discipline
might be hard for them.
1563
00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:08,200
I think the discipline
might be hard for them.
1564
00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:10,240
If you take your coat off.
Yeah. Thank you. I'll live.
1565
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:11,480
If you take your coat off.
Yeah. Thank you. I'll live.
1566
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,520
It's just you'll be the only one
and you won't want to stand out.
1567
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:14,240
It's just you'll be the only one
and you won't want to stand out.
1568
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,280
I think she does want to stand out.
That is her aim.
1569
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,320
I think she does want to stand out.
That is her aim.
1570
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:19,120
I think she does want to stand out.
That is her aim.
1571
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:20,800
Well, can you take your cape off?
1572
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,840
I'd be saying,
"You've got a cape on, son."
1573
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:23,320
I'd be saying,
"You've got a cape on, son."
1574
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,360
Why is it so formal? They all come
walking in in a straight line.
1575
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:26,400
Why is it so formal? They all come
walking in in a straight line.
1576
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:27,960
That would not happen at my school.
1577
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,000
She can't understand why the other
children are disciplined.
1578
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:30,320
She can't understand why the other
children are disciplined.
1579
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:32,360
She's never seen
disciplined children before.
1580
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:33,440
She's never seen
disciplined children before.
1581
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,480
Yeah. No-one's like,
"Oh, yeah, high five, oh, my days."
1582
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:37,520
Yeah. No-one's like,
"Oh, yeah, high five, oh, my days."
1583
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:38,000
Yeah. No-one's like,
"Oh, yeah, high five, oh, my days."
1584
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,040
Now, you may have noticed that
we've got three brave young people
1585
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:40,840
Now, you may have noticed that
we've got three brave young people
1586
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:42,880
that are going to join us
as pupils for the week.
1587
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:43,760
that are going to join us
as pupils for the week.
1588
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,120
"Oh, my God, I'm going to die."
1589
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:47,520
"Oh, my God, I'm going to die."
1590
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:49,560
So, in no particular order,
we have Shadiya.
1591
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,480
So, in no particular order,
we have Shadiya.
1592
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:53,520
HE LAUGHS
She's like, "Why?
1593
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:54,480
HE LAUGHS
She's like, "Why?
1594
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,520
"Why you got to do that for?"
1595
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:57,320
"Why you got to do that for?"
1596
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,360
..Danny and Molly. Do come down.
1597
00:43:59,400 --> 00:43:59,720
..Danny and Molly. Do come down.
1598
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:01,240
Oh, my God.
1599
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,280
Oh, my God,
they're bringing them down!
1600
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:03,600
Oh, my God,
they're bringing them down!
1601
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,640
Oh, put the spotlights on them
as well.
1602
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:06,400
Oh, put the spotlights on them
as well.
1603
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:07,720
HE LAUGHS
1604
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:15,080
They're getting a good reception.
1605
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,120
"This is what poor children look
like. Please come to the front."
1606
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,040
"This is what poor children look
like. Please come to the front."
1607
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:23,600
Later on, we saw the visiting
students join an English lesson.
1608
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:25,640
Later on, we saw the visiting
students join an English lesson.
1609
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:26,160
Later on, we saw the visiting
students join an English lesson.
1610
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,200
We're going to continue our study
of Thomas Hardy's poems
1611
00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:29,200
We're going to continue our study
of Thomas Hardy's poems
1612
00:44:29,240 --> 00:44:31,240
that he wrote in the wake
of the death of his wife.
1613
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:31,920
that he wrote in the wake
of the death of his wife.
1614
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,960
Who's that? I only know Tom Hardy
the actor.
1615
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:35,480
Who's that? I only know Tom Hardy
the actor.
1616
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:37,520
I know a lot about him.
HE LAUGHS
1617
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:38,320
I know a lot about him.
HE LAUGHS
1618
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:40,360
I want you to write on the window
or the board
1619
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:41,480
I want you to write on the window
or the board
1620
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:43,520
just what stands out to you.
On the window?
1621
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:43,880
just what stands out to you.
On the window?
1622
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,920
I think he's saying he's, like,
gone crazy cos he's dead.
1623
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:46,240
I think he's saying he's, like,
gone crazy cos he's dead.
1624
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:48,280
For Shadiya, this way of learning
is a game-changer.
1625
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:49,720
For Shadiya, this way of learning
is a game-changer.
1626
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:51,440
Is she liking this now?
1627
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,480
We were writing on, like, the
windows and stuff. It was different.
1628
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:54,880
We were writing on, like, the
windows and stuff. It was different.
1629
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:56,920
No wonder why they get better
results in boarding school.
1630
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:57,360
No wonder why they get better
results in boarding school.
1631
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,400
Cos they write on the windows? No,
cos they just do a different method.
1632
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:00,000
Cos they write on the windows? No,
cos they just do a different method.
1633
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:01,160
Ah.
1634
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,200
Hardy is tired of feeling
the grief of losing Emma.
1635
00:45:03,240 --> 00:45:03,800
Hardy is tired of feeling
the grief of losing Emma.
1636
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:05,840
Go on, Shadiya.
She's interested now.
1637
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:07,120
Go on, Shadiya.
She's interested now.
1638
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:09,160
However, this is a paradox of grief
1639
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:09,440
However, this is a paradox of grief
1640
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:11,480
as he pairs the word with craze,
which contradicts himself.
1641
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:13,120
as he pairs the word with craze,
which contradicts himself.
1642
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:14,600
Fucking hell. Oh!
1643
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,640
What the heck?
Mate, she's quite clever.
1644
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:18,320
What the heck?
Mate, she's quite clever.
1645
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,360
Mic drop. She said, "Mic drop,"
in front of the teacher.
1646
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:22,400
Mic drop. She said, "Mic drop,"
in front of the teacher.
1647
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:22,720
Mic drop. She said, "Mic drop,"
in front of the teacher.
1648
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:24,760
Like that, yeah.
"I can do this. I can do this."
1649
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:25,320
Like that, yeah.
"I can do this. I can do this."
1650
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,360
"I can do this." Yeah.
"In this environment,
1651
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:27,760
"I can do this." Yeah.
"In this environment,
1652
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,800
"this suits me,
but it costs 50 grand."
1653
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:31,840
"this suits me,
but it costs 50 grand."
1654
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:32,120
"this suits me,
but it costs 50 grand."
1655
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:33,480
Do you know, I love me children.
1656
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:35,520
Do I love them quarter of a million
quid apiece for education?
1657
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:37,560
Do I love them quarter of a million
quid apiece for education?
1658
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,040
Do I love them quarter of a million
quid apiece for education?
1659
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,080
No. I don't think I do.
1660
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:41,880
No. I don't think I do.
1661
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:43,920
# In a perfect world
1662
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:44,120
# In a perfect world
1663
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:47,480
# In a perfect world
1664
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,400
# In a perfect world
1665
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:51,440
# In a perfect world
1666
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:52,440
# In a perfect world
1667
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,480
# Singing
1668
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:55,320
# Singing
1669
00:45:57,240 --> 00:45:59,240
# In a perfect world
1670
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:00,160
# In a perfect world
1671
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:03,320
# In a perfect world... #
1672
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,240
# In a perfect world... #
1673
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:07,280
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
1674
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:08,240
Subtitles by Red Bee Media