1
00:00:02,702 --> 00:00:05,838
Congratulations, fellas.
2
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:07,072
On what, sir?
On winning the lottery.
3
00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:08,974
Because the only reason
I can imagine
4
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:11,143
Why my fine young
money managers
5
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:14,713
Aren't at the conference table
at 9:00 a.M.
6
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,982
Is because y'all went in
on a winning lottery ticket
7
00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:22,087
And you've come here to tell me
to kiss your collective ass.
8
00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:25,024
You know, let's--let's take
a pause for a second
9
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:29,528
So you can all feel
appropriately uncomfortable.
10
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:37,770
Run.
11
00:00:37,772 --> 00:00:39,371
Mr. Wen, not so fast.
12
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,873
Where is brody?
13
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:43,976
He's never missed a Monday
morning debriefing before.
14
00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:47,079
Uh, yeah. He had a...
Family emergency.
15
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:50,816
His dad came down with
a surprise illness.
16
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,351
That is surprising,
17
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:55,654
Especially since his dad has
been dead for nine years.
18
00:00:57,090 --> 00:01:00,025
Yeah., it's been a real
roller coaster for the family.
19
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,895
Mr. Wen, a very important man
once said
20
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:05,764
That there are two reasons
a man should risk his career,
21
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:08,300
Neither of which is
covering for a best friend
22
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:12,204
Who is missing work
to be with a girl he just met.
23
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,505
Who said that?
24
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,707
I did. Just now.
25
00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:22,314
(cell phone rings)
26
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,083
Hello? What?
27
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:26,618
Aah!
Aah!
28
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:27,920
It's 9:02!
29
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,355
I'm two hours late for work!
30
00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:32,124
I'm two minutes late
for work.
31
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,793
Oh, wow.
We have different schedules.
32
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,762
How did my alarm
not go off?
33
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:40,132
Well, it did by accident
at 4:30, so I shut it off.
34
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,600
(sets down cell phone)
what? That's not an accident.
35
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:42,968
That's the time
I set it for.
36
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:46,805
4:30? Are you a ship captain?
37
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,708
I have a routine, okay?
My alarm goes off at 4:30.
38
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,076
I have three egg whites
39
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,644
And a half-caf coffee
with almond milk,
40
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:54,346
Then 9-minute abs,
40 minutes on the treadmill,
41
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:58,484
6 minutes of hair zhuzhing,
and at work by 6:47.
42
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:01,553
Why don't you sleep in a little?
Skip the zhuzhing.
43
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,455
You never skip the zhuzh.
44
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:07,292
I've never missed
mansfield's Monday debriefing.
45
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:12,097
Well, tell him I debriefed you
at home... Twice.
46
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:15,868
Yeah. Mansfield really loves
sex puns.
47
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:18,637
What are you looking at?
48
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,506
Your butt. I gotta bite it.
49
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,441
One time. Two times.
50
00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,576
Five times, then I'm done.
N-no.
51
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,111
Um, you cannot
bite my butt, okay.
52
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,813
Maybe once.
No, no. I can't.
53
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,682
I have to go to work, okay?
(laughs)
54
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,050
So what are you doing later?
55
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,285
Do you wanna get some dinner
or something?
56
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,154
Uh, no. Just text me
before you go to bed,
57
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:39,391
And I'll come over
and you can... Debrief me.
58
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,026
Wow.
59
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:43,629
You are either the coolest chick
in the world...
(laughs)
60
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:45,831
Or a dude.
Hmm.
61
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,199
Speaking of dudes...
Yeah?
62
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,868
You're wearing my pants,
dude.
63
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:53,405
Guess I got in your pants
three times.
64
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:56,341
Mm. Up top.
65
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,945
♪
66
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:04,016
-- Captions by vitac --
67
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:12,457
Gentlemen,
start your chairs!
68
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:13,792
(handles click)
69
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,228
All right, this is for
all of the marbles.
70
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,462
No way.
71
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:21,166
I have been collecting
these marbles all year long.
72
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,535
On your marks!
73
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,070
Get set!
74
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,372
Go!
75
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:30,342
Whoo!
76
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,710
Damn it!
77
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,078
That's how I roll.
78
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,813
It's not fair. You order
all the office furniture.
79
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:37,783
Obviously you're gonna have
the best chair.
80
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,619
Sorry I'm late, guys.
81
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,854
I, uh, I had
a-a doctor's appointment.
82
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:45,357
Ohh. And by "doctor,"
you mean "brody,"
83
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,793
And by "appointment,"
you mean appointment.
84
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,461
Oh! (laughs)
85
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:50,929
(speaks indistinctly)
maybe a little somethin'
like this.
86
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,598
Bam! Bam! Bam! Come on!
Ohh!
87
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,867
Ping-pong! Ping-pong!
Ping-pong! Whoo!
Ping-pong her ass!
88
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,903
What kind of doctor
are you going to?
89
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,972
(laugh) I was with brody.
90
00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:02,908
But it's not a big deal.
We're just hanging out.
91
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,843
Just two friends
hanging out.
92
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,812
Sometimes I sleep over.
93
00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:09,815
Yeah. Two friends hanging out,
sleeping over.
94
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,483
Although the sex has been
phenomenal.
95
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,118
(voice breaks) two friends
hanging out, sleeping over,
96
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,387
Hurting everyone
around them.
97
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:19,891
Hey.
You okay?
98
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,159
What happened
at the debriefing?
99
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,995
Uh, well, mansfield quoted
john mcenroe.
100
00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:26,898
And then he asked
if any of us pussies
101
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,702
Wanted to punch him
in the stomach.
102
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,938
Oh, he asked where you were,
but I covered for you, bro.
103
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,307
Thanks. Did he seem pissed?
Uh...
104
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:38,143
Hard to say.
105
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:40,479
He was smiling,
but was it the smile
106
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:43,682
Of a man whose company
just posted a record year?
107
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:47,152
Or was it a deeper, sadder smile
that masked the disappointment
108
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:49,554
He felt in a young man
who is pissing away
109
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,990
A once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity?
110
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,392
I'm guessing both, sir.
111
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,394
Ya nailed it.
112
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:58,397
Would you like to punch me
in the stomach?
113
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:01,933
No, sir. I don't want
to hurt my hand again.
114
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,036
Good call. Follow me.
115
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:06,505
(clicks button, door unlocks)
116
00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:11,810
I've been at this company
for 35 years.
117
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,111
Would you like
to take a guess
118
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,647
How many times I've been late
for work?
119
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,915
Zero times.
120
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:19,217
Less than that.
121
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,453
And that includes the time
I had back surgery,
122
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:24,089
Came in at 9:00 a.M.
The next morning,
123
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,691
And closed
a $10 million deal
124
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:28,994
While I was still high
on pain meds.
125
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:33,632
It turns out the client was
this lamp.
126
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,000
As my father always said,
127
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:38,503
If you can't be on time,
be early.
128
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,072
Son, as you know,
129
00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:41,873
I'm training you to be
my protégé.
130
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,643
Now it will be impossible
for you to do that
131
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,745
And maintain a relationship.
132
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,013
A wise man once said,
133
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,281
"the greatest things
ever achieved
134
00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:51,416
Are ones thought impossible."
135
00:05:53,986 --> 00:05:56,822
I said that.
136
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,324
Well played.
137
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:04,196
Still, I need you to focus 100%
on this job.
138
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,732
Trust me, sir. I can do the job
and do the girl--
139
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:10,168
Date the girl.
140
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:14,573
Well, then anything over 100%,
you can give to the girl.
141
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:19,911
However, it's been my experience
women hate getting zero.
142
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,413
I know you're against
the idea of jenny,
143
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,382
But I think if you met her,
you'd really like her.
144
00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:25,217
I don't want to meet her.
She is a distraction.
145
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,551
I promise she won't be.
146
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,321
Really? Then what is she doing
here right now?
147
00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:31,790
Jenny? Right.
148
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,458
I see what you did there.
(laughs)
149
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:36,395
This is
the haynes family trust.
150
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:39,664
I want you to figure out a plan
and have it on my desk by noon.
151
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,501
I'll have it to you by 10:00.
I want it by 7:00.
152
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,136
Ah.
153
00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:46,671
It looks like your ground floor
company has arrived.
154
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:49,708
Is it a beautiful blonde
with legs for days?
155
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:53,145
It's a rugged auburn...
156
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:54,613
With a beard for months.
157
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,081
Go on. Touch it.
158
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:59,284
Whatever you find in there,
that's yours to keep.
159
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:00,786
I'm good.
160
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,922
(snaps fingers)
161
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:10,228
Young man,
you smell like the forest.
162
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:14,900
What can I do for you?
I am with I.T.
163
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:19,471
And I am here to update
your firmware.
164
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:20,772
You have six minutes.
165
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,240
Oh. Good.
166
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:25,177
'cause your time is
more valuable than my time.
167
00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,279
I get it.
We're not so different, though.
168
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:30,215
I have a job. I have a desk.
169
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:33,652
I have a drawer
filled with... Cash. Okay.
170
00:07:36,255 --> 00:07:39,124
I got a chair. Ohh!
171
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,725
(chuckles)
(handle clicks)
172
00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:42,661
(high-pitched voice) what?
173
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,998
Whoa!
174
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,433
What are you doing, bro?
175
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,936
I'm trying to find a place
to take jenny on a date.
176
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,505
Dude, you don't need to date.
Okay?
177
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,073
You do what I do.
178
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,508
You take her
back to your place,
179
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,577
You throw back a couple bananas
so nobody cramps,
180
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,345
And then you oil up,
181
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:04,783
You throw a tarp down,
you start banging bodies.
182
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,718
You must get laid a lot.
183
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,021
No, but I will be ready
when that day comes.
184
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,823
Look, all you just and I have
done is hook up.
185
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,593
I like her. I don't want to do
that "dick guy move."
186
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:17,762
Wait. What? How do I not know
what the dick guy move is?
187
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,131
Dick guy move is where you sleep
with a girl a bunch of times,
188
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,633
And then say you're not ready
for a commitment.
189
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,902
But then two weeks later,
you get stupid drunk on tequila,
190
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,871
Text her you love her.
Then the next thing you know,
191
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,906
You gotta change your number
and find a new coffee shop.
192
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,575
And I loved
that coffee shop!
193
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:39,251
Hope everybody's hungry.
I brought doughnuts.
194
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:42,320
Excuse me,
we are working down here.
195
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,722
Marco!
196
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,590
Post-it!
Post-it!
197
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:47,993
Wow. Is this really what
you guys do all day?
198
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,261
No. No, not all day.
199
00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:50,996
We do building maintenance,
I.T.,
200
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:53,064
Office supplies,
mail distribution.
201
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,900
We've been working on
this list of what we do
202
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:57,636
In case anyone asks.
203
00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:01,406
How cynical are you to think you
can buy us off with pastries?
204
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,975
(chuckles) am I right, guys?
205
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:07,379
Well, I'll hit that.
I'll hit that
like it owes me money.
206
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,446
(chuckles)
207
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:10,882
Brody, you didn't have to.
208
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,250
Well, yeah, I did.
209
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,552
Otherwise, I would've needed
an awkward segue
210
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:16,288
Before asking you
on a date tonight.
211
00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:19,624
Nice hair. You wanna go
on a date tonight?
212
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:22,160
(laughs) nah.
213
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,628
Wait. What?
214
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:27,766
She said...
(laughs) "nah."
215
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,568
Hey, no, I just like
what we've been doing.
216
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,636
Yeah, but all we've been doing
is going back to my place,
217
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,438
Having hours
of acrobatic sex,
218
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,041
And then going our separate ways
in the morning.
219
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,910
Yeah, and it's fun.
So much fun.
220
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,245
(laughs)
but...
221
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,846
If I didn't know any better,
222
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:43,982
I would start to say that
you are using me for my body.
223
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,017
(laughs)
224
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,385
That's funny.
225
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,421
So text me, uh,
when you're done with work,
226
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,689
And we can work off
these bear claws,
227
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,924
If ya know what I mean.
(slaps butt)
228
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:56,027
Yeah.
I think I cracked that code.
229
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,562
(mouth full) I mean have sex.
230
00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:00,565
Oh, yeah. No, I got it.
(jenny) right.
231
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:06,638
Mm, what are we doing? I thought
we were going to get condoms.
232
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,373
Oh. Yeah, we are.
233
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,908
They have
a great condom dispenser
234
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,576
In the bathroom here.
235
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:15,046
Wait a minute. Are you trying
to take me on a date?
236
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,514
What?
237
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,383
Me? Pfft.
238
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:21,820
Mr. Moyer,
your table is ready.
239
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:24,756
How does she know my name?
We should follow her.
240
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:28,593
Did you steal
an upstairs chair, man?
241
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,795
Does it look like it?
Yes.
242
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:34,299
Well, then yes, I did.
243
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,835
On your marks!
244
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,970
Get set!
245
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,472
Go!
246
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,674
Whoo-hoo!
247
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,342
Yeah!
248
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:47,045
Not good! This is not good!
I can't--
249
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:49,447
(loud crash)
250
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:55,920
I can't believe you tricked me
into going on a date.
251
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:58,089
I can't believe I had to
trick you into a date.
252
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:00,492
I'm a catch.
253
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,662
In fact, my aunt shelly said
if I wasn't her nephew,
254
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:05,764
I'd have to look out.
255
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:08,767
Look, I'm--I think you're great.
I'm just, um...
256
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:12,103
The thing is, I'm not looking
for a commitment right now.
257
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,673
Oh, my god.
That's the dick guy move.
258
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,041
The what?
259
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,442
The dick guy move.
260
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:18,843
It's where you sleep with
someone a bunch of times,
261
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,478
And then say you're not ready
for a commitment.
262
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,280
Next thing you know, I have to
find a new coffee shop,
263
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,882
And I'm really loving
this new coffee shop.
264
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:27,686
What? I'm--I'm not the dick guy.
I'm not even a-a guy.
265
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,220
Really? You sure are acting
like one.
266
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,022
Okay. Well, you need to just
calm down.
267
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,491
Just calm--
don't tell me to calm down.
Okay?
268
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,060
Is that why
you brought me here,
269
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,828
So I wouldn't make a scene
in public?
270
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:39,264
You brought me!
I just wanted to have fun.
271
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:42,634
Now do you wanna go back
to your place or not?
272
00:11:42,636 --> 00:11:45,070
If you're not gonna care
about me for me,
273
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,772
You're not gettin'
any of this.
274
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:49,874
Oh, my god.
275
00:11:55,314 --> 00:11:56,581
Is this a bad time?
276
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,550
It's an excellent time.
277
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:01,653
I just finished
my 3-mile open ocean swim.
278
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:03,188
There was
a high surf advisory,
279
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:07,158
So I had the place
all to myself.
280
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,461
"the place"?
The ocean.
281
00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:11,963
Nature's gym.
Gotcha.
282
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,299
Anyway, here's the work I did
on the haynes trust.
283
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:15,867
You can transfer
most of the assets
284
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:16,935
Into a deferred annuity.
285
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:20,572
Or you could throw it off
the building.
286
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,007
I asked for that at 7:00.
I don't need it anymore.
287
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,275
But it's 6:45.
288
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,045
You should know my 7:00
is 6:30.
289
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,180
Sorry, sir. I didn't know
it was time sensitive.
290
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,749
It's time sensitive
291
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,717
Because I said it was due
at a certain time. And...
292
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:35,353
Well,
I'm a sensitive little bunny.
293
00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,190
It was a test.
294
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,792
You failed.
295
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,262
Well,
you'll be happy to know
296
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,598
That jenny won't be
a distraction anymore.
297
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,633
Turns out
she's just not that into me.
298
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:50,435
How could she not be
into you?
299
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,671
You're a catch.
300
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:54,973
I know.
301
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,775
Have a seat.
302
00:12:56,777 --> 00:13:00,211
I know it stings a little now,
but trust me.
303
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:01,746
You will be grateful
304
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:05,350
That you didn't jeopardize
your whole career for a fling.
305
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,019
Wow. That wet suit is
form-hugging.
306
00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:12,390
Eyes up.
307
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,992
Thatta boy.
308
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:16,561
I guess I kinda thought
it wasn't a fling.
309
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:17,862
You know,
a part of me thought
310
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,731
Maybe she could've been
"the one."
311
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:21,499
Oh, come on.
I'm a romantic myself.
312
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:25,470
Hell, I have a heart the size
the head of a baby.
313
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:26,905
I believe in "the one."
314
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,073
In fact, I believe in
a thousand "the ones."
315
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:32,277
Sir, I'm not sure you understand
the concept of "the one."
316
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:33,878
There are a lot
of "the ones."
317
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,613
There's the one
you meet in college,
318
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,482
The one you meet
backpacking through europe,
319
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,917
The one who convinces you
320
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,686
That you actually look good
in white jeans.
321
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,955
But the one
you meet in your 30s,
322
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:48,393
When you've finally made it,
if you're very lucky,
323
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,728
That's "the one" you marry.
324
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:54,532
You really wore white jeans?
325
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:58,369
Honest to god,
I wore the hell out of 'em.
326
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,205
I still wish
you could meet her.
327
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:01,506
I don't and I won't.
328
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,641
I want you to redo
the haynes work.
329
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,176
Have it on my desk end of day.
330
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,312
My end of day, not yours.
331
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,680
Yes, sir.
332
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,048
Is this another test?
333
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,150
Of course it's a test.
Everything's a test.
334
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,651
Tests and quality furniture
335
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:17,789
Are the only things that
separate from the animals.
336
00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:22,994
Where the hell's my chair?
337
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:25,797
Yeah, this chair is dead.
338
00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:27,332
What do you mean
it's dead?
339
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:28,833
You said you could
take apart any chair.
340
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:32,370
Yeah, I can. I just can't put
the chair back together.
341
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,771
Do you think
I would work here
342
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,841
If I knew how to put chairs
back together?
343
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:39,577
Well, can't we just give
mansfield one of our chairs?
344
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:42,080
No, it won't work.
This is a top floor chair.
345
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,948
They have a different ass palate
than we do,
346
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:45,817
And his butt's gonna know.
347
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,953
All right, which one of you
is jenny?
348
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,154
Who wants to know?
349
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,190
You're jenny.
350
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:55,159
Well, it makes
perfect sense now.
351
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:58,129
Brody died, and he asked me
to take care of you.
352
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,965
I'm tori.
353
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:04,002
Hey, I follow you on twitter.
You're @neverendingtori.
354
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,336
Ha! Yeah.
355
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,938
How are you hotter
than your selfies?
356
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:09,540
Well, actually, I thought
that all my followers
357
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:12,076
Were either 13-year-old boys
or gay.
358
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,745
Well, I have the fashion sense
of a gay man
359
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,080
And the hormones
of a 13-year-old boy.
360
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,482
Ah.
361
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,117
We should hang out.
362
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,085
If I met you two years ago,
I'd throw a tarp down,
363
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,655
Get the oil out,
and eat some bananas.
364
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:25,623
Ohh.
365
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,459
But I put my man-eating days
behind me.
366
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,529
So here is some free advice--
367
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,965
Just back away slowly
before I change my mind,
368
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:37,869
Unhinge my jaw,
and swallow you whole.
369
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:42,607
(shaky voice)
oh, no, I love you.
370
00:15:45,477 --> 00:15:47,145
Hey, jenny.
371
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:52,016
What the hell? Is this place
just crawling with hot chicks?
372
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,418
Thank you.
373
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,919
Okay, well, because of you,
brody is hurting right now.
374
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:57,622
Which is crazy
because he's a catch.
375
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:01,092
And--and you need to know
that if you mess with him,
376
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,660
You mess with me.
377
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,263
And if you mess with anybody
down here,
378
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,731
You messing with me.
379
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,666
W-well, I guess we all saying
the same thing,
380
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,602
Which is that...
(shaky voice) I'm leavin'.
381
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,240
Is this mansfield's chair?
382
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:20,211
Oh, my god. One of you guys is
so screwed. (chuckles)
383
00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:25,149
He knows about the chair.
What are we gonna do?
384
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,186
(whispers) he's gotta die.
385
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:30,955
Do you know how
to kill people?
386
00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:33,658
You think I would work here
if I knew how to kill people?
387
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,194
You guys, I think I know
who can help us,
388
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:40,064
But I'm not so sure he wants
to see me right now.
389
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:42,700
I don't wanna see you
right now.
390
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:46,404
Besides, why would I help him?
He hates me.
391
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,439
That's true. I do.
392
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,275
Harvard, we practiced this
in the elevator.
Right.
393
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:54,278
Brody, um, I know we've had
our differences.
394
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,680
But I think that you're awesome,
395
00:16:55,682 --> 00:17:00,551
And I just hate you so much.
396
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,253
Are ya high?
397
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,655
I'm a little high.
398
00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:08,726
Okay, look, if you won't do it
for him, do it for me.
399
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,428
Why would I help you?
You don't even like me.
400
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:13,531
You're just using me
for sex.
401
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,601
But I really like you. That's
why I don't want to date you.
402
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,336
Oh. Okay.
That makes no sense.
403
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:19,737
W--
404
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:22,473
Okay, look, you're--you're cute
and you're smart
405
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,175
And you make me laugh
on purpose
406
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:28,146
And, hey, we wear
the same size pants.
(mouths word)
407
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:31,682
But relationships in my family,
they just don't work.
408
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,918
My grandma and grandpa,
mom and dad,
409
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,654
Mom and stepdad,
stepdad and grandma.
410
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:40,425
All of 'em ended
really badly.
411
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:43,261
Yeah, but all relationships end
until the one that doesn't.
412
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,129
That's the risk.
413
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:46,764
Yeah. I don't like risk.
414
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:50,268
Yeah. Risk is the worst.
415
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,836
Put the stapler back.
416
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:55,473
I do like risk. I risk other
people's money for a living.
417
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:58,509
I work at a job where I can
get fired without notice.
418
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,111
My favorite board game
is risk.
419
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,080
I happen to dominate at risk.
I will destroy you at risk.
420
00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:06,884
But my professional opinion
as an expert risk taker
421
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:11,055
Is that you and I are
a risk worth taking.
422
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,057
Well, I guess there is
something kinda sexy
423
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:15,793
About dating a guy
who likes risk.
424
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,428
Did I just
hear you say "dating"?
425
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,031
But I still expect you
to put out.
426
00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:23,868
I'm the one who took
mansfield's chair. Okay?
427
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,136
Doesn't get any riskier
than that, right?
428
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:29,173
(door buzzes)
hello. Magic door.
429
00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:31,976
How high am I?
430
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:34,445
You and I need to have
a little talk.
431
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,813
I have nothing to hide.
432
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,082
My name is brody moyer.
433
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:40,184
(brody) he already knows me,
genius.
434
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:42,053
(whispers) damn it.
435
00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:50,027
You have ten seconds to tell me
where my chair is.
436
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:51,462
Well, I have something
that you want,
437
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:56,134
So it appears to me
that I have all the leverage.
438
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:57,635
I could fire you,
439
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:01,072
Have you arrested,
or simply disappear you.
440
00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:06,944
It appears as though I have
grossly misread the situation.
441
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:10,081
Actually, sir, he took the chair
for your benefit.
442
00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:12,283
Really?
This oughta be good.
443
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:16,087
He thinks you should have
a standing desk.
444
00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:17,355
A standing desk?
445
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,690
Yes. It's good for your posture,
it spurs creativity,
446
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,125
And generates confidence.
447
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:23,394
As I'm sure you know,
general patton once said,
448
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:26,664
"no good decision was ever made
in a swivel chair."
449
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:30,868
That's a good quote.
450
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,703
All right, I'll buy it,
but not really.
451
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:35,606
And, you...
You're on my radar.
452
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,842
Is that a good thing
or a bad thing?
453
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,877
Probably the second one.
454
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,552
Here. Let me get that
for you.
455
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,086
Oh.
(chuckles)
456
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,922
Thank you, dear.
My stepdad
always used to say,
457
00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:52,757
"a man should always
keep one hand free
458
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:55,026
For either catching
or scratching."
459
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,727
Mm.
460
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:58,596
I quite like that.
(laughs)
461
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:00,398
What did you say
your name was?
462
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,766
I'm jenny.
463
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:04,468
Oh, shit.
464
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,742
Ah, son. Come on in.
Come on in.
465
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:15,413
Your friend from the forest
was right.
466
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:18,649
I may never sit again.
467
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,551
Great. So here's
the haynes trust.
468
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,953
Just in time...
469
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:26,724
For you to throw it
30 stories to its death.
470
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,759
It's okay.
You passed this test.
471
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:30,661
Rest assured,
there'll be more.
472
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,263
I'll be ready, sir.
473
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,498
So I, uh, I met jenny.
474
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:39,203
We talked, we laughed,
we shared folksy quotes.
475
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,571
She is delightful.
476
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,939
Told you.
477
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,341
Well, do you think
I'm surprised?
478
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:46,043
You care for her, so I knew
she'd be delightful.
479
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:48,312
That's exactly why
I didn't want to meet her.
480
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:52,717
Now when your career destroys
this relationship,
481
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,585
We're both gonna feel
horrible.
482
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:59,223
Tell you the truth, I, um,
I was hoping it'd just be you.