1
00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:07,039
Okay, "crazy, stupid, love"
is an emotional movie.
2
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,540
It's okay to cry.
3
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:11,310
Yeah, but, babe,
you cried so much.
4
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:15,080
It's two men buying suits.
Okay, I'm not made of stone.
5
00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:16,615
Jenny. Mr. Moyer.
Mr. Mansfield.
6
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,417
Morning, sir.
Yeah, it's interesting.
7
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:21,186
You without arriving at
the exact same time for work.
8
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,655
That's either
a tremendous coincidence
9
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,624
Or you spent the night
together.
10
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,660
Which, according to my father,
means you got married.
11
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:31,997
Did you get married last night,
jenny?
12
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,166
What?
13
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,502
It's a joke! (laughs)
14
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:39,304
Ah! Brody never told you I had
a sense of humor, did he?
15
00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:40,639
Tell I have a sense of humor.
16
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,141
Oh, he's a riot.
I'm a riot!
17
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,176
Yeah.
18
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,444
(rings bell)
19
00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:46,712
Jenny.
20
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,180
Brody.
21
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:50,282
Tron.
22
00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,518
Huh. You two arriving at
the exact same time.
23
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,487
That is either
a tremendous coincidence
24
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,122
Or...
25
00:00:57,124 --> 00:01:00,059
Or nothing.
That's exactly what happened.
26
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,332
Hey, guys!
27
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,168
It's him,
and he brought the dolly.
28
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,537
Oh, he's cleaning out an office.
Somebody's gettin' fired.
29
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,105
I wonder
who the poor bastard is.
30
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,741
(high-pitched voice)
what?! Why?!
No!
31
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:18,844
Come on, dude.
I'm just tying my shoe. Sac up.
32
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,748
I happen to have
a very tall sac, thank you.
33
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:25,284
(derrick) mr. Mansfield needs
to see you.
34
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,119
Carl's been here ten years.
35
00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,454
He was on track for partner.
36
00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:30,055
You know what this means.
37
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,157
(both, singsongy)
empty office!
38
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,692
What?! Are you serious, dude?
I--
39
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,527
Hey, carl.
40
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,297
Oh, carl, bro. You look so sad,
bro. I'm so sorry, bro.
41
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:45,037
(lowered singsongy voices)
empty office!
42
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:48,674
♪
43
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:52,544
-- Captions by vitac --
44
00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,552
I consider this company
to be a family.
45
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,387
And like in any family,
46
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:06,225
If you underperform,
you get fired.
47
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,295
As you no doubt have figured
out, we have an empty office.
48
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:13,332
I call dibs!
49
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:16,068
Congratulations. It's yours.
50
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,669
Really?
No!
51
00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:21,140
Mr. Moyer, walk with me.
52
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,343
Now I think
it goes without saying
53
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,778
Who's first in line
for that office.
Thank you, sir.
54
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,547
Oh, you think it's you?
55
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,683
I did until just now.
56
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:36,155
My daughter lisa is in town
from college this weekend,
57
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:38,390
Oh, would you look
at that smile.
58
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:42,161
Cost me $12,000, and it was
worth every penny.
59
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:45,397
Poor girl had a mouth like
a sand shark.
60
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:47,466
That's her before the braces.
61
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,268
Watch your fingers, everybody!
62
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:53,438
She's in college now
63
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,175
And she's being exposed
to a whole new world of ideas,
64
00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:57,843
Which, unfortunately,
she likes.
65
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,578
She's going through
some kind of
66
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,848
Progressive hippie-dippie
ecoterrorist phase.
67
00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:06,118
She's embracing
everything I revile,
68
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,221
And since I'm not gonna put up
with any of her nonsense,
69
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,622
You are.
70
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,624
Of course. I mean,
I-I don't wanna brag,
71
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:16,395
But I do know my way around
a hacky sack.
72
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:20,766
You and I have very different
ideas of what bragging is.
73
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,536
Now since lisa thinks
every opportunity to reject me
74
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:27,439
Is a clear win,
for this to work,
75
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,474
We're going to have to
completely convince her
76
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:30,709
That I hate you.
77
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,377
Oh, that may require
78
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,645
Some pretty intense acting
on your part, sir.
79
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,914
Don't touch me.
Nailed it.
80
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:38,517
There's my girl!
81
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,352
Daddy!
Lisa!
82
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,754
Actually, I've changed it
to "lyssa,"
83
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:45,190
With a "y" and two "s's."
84
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,626
Whatever makes you happy, lisa.
85
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,494
No, it's "lisa,"
not "lisa."
86
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,630
Lisa. Lisa. Lisa.
Lisa. Lisa. Lisa.
87
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,198
Lisa. Lisa.
Lisa. Lisa.
88
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,499
Brody.
89
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:56,335
Yes, sir?
90
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,503
Uh, unfortunately, I am swamped
the whole time you're here,
91
00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:00,906
And mr. Moyer is the only one
I can spare.
92
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,642
So he's gonna be
your tour guide.
93
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,877
'sup, girl?
94
00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:10,882
Nice try, dad.
He's clearly your favorite.
95
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,385
I'll be fine on my own.
96
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:17,756
You didn't really sell that one,
did ya, son?
97
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,225
"'sup, girl"?
98
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:23,929
It's what the kids are sayin',
right?
99
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,831
And with an office
on the line.
100
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,767
Very disappointing.
101
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:38,744
It doesn't get any easier.
102
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:41,813
I feel like
the grim reaper with a dolly.
103
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:45,350
What is with the tricycle?
104
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,486
It is not a tricycle.
105
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,688
It is the bike perfected.
106
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:52,624
Lower center of gravity,
sleek lines.
107
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,593
(bell dings)
108
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:56,428
I dig it.
109
00:04:56,430 --> 00:05:01,633
It's kinda like a bicycle
for people who can't get laid.
110
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,069
See? She gets it.
111
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:07,639
Hey. You need a hug?
112
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,541
Yeah, I do.
Why? What's this for?
113
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,510
Someone on your floor
got fired.
114
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:12,911
Oh. Yeah. Right.
115
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,813
So... Lunch?
116
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:18,417
Ooh, that is cold!
He had a name, man.
117
00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:23,789
Wait. You save the badges
of every guy who gets fired?
118
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,524
Yes. Derrick has a process.
119
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,893
He learns about each guy
and then he has a memorial.
120
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:30,495
You know, he's like the priest
and executioner in one.
121
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,963
(laughs)
122
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,566
Except when feinstein got fired,
and then he was a rabbi.
123
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,535
(chuckles)
124
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,870
Hey, it was a mitzvah.
125
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:43,909
I call it
the wall of fallen douches.
126
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:48,280
Lest we forget how douchey
those upstairs guys are.
127
00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:50,382
You know I'm one of them,
right?
128
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,484
Yeah, that's why I said it.
129
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:55,420
Hey, harvard,
he is not one of those guys.
130
00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:57,322
This guy cries at movies.
(chuckles)
131
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:58,623
Babe.
132
00:05:58,625 --> 00:05:59,958
At... Manly movies.
133
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,460
Babe.
But... Like...
134
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,795
P-porn. Like the hard stuff.
Please!
135
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,430
Stop!
136
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,632
Please stop. Jeez.
137
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,301
Besides, it's impossible
to get offended
138
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:11,803
By a grown man
on a big wheel.
139
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,005
(bell dings)
140
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,774
Oh, that's
the future calling.
141
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,442
Oh, guess what?
142
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:19,311
(whispers) I get the girl.
143
00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:21,613
She's right here, man.
144
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,014
Yeah, that's why I said it.
145
00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:27,619
Oh. Hey, check it out.
146
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:29,955
I got a surefire way of getting
that open office.
147
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:33,725
I am gonna blow mansfield...
148
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,827
Away.
149
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:39,664
I was so worried you weren't
gonna say "away" there.
150
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,634
It's a new power move.
151
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:45,003
It allows me to enter
mansfield's office
152
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,505
And take a seat
153
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:49,708
Without ever breaking
eye contact.
154
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,076
Boom.
155
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:53,812
Right? I called it "the riker"
156
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,347
In honor of
commander william t. Riker
157
00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:56,648
Of "star trek:
Next generation."
158
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,016
What do you think?
159
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:03,822
I think...
You hato do that.
160
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,057
Yeah. I honestly can't believe
that I didn't think of it.
161
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,726
That's because
162
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,494
While you were wasting time
getting busy with girls,
163
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:12,464
I was getting busy with...
(singsongy) "star trek."
164
00:07:16,869 --> 00:07:19,871
Mr. Mansfield, I wanna talk to
you about that open office.
165
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,940
Fair enough. Have a seat.
166
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:34,786
Always check your chair
before you perform a riker.
167
00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:40,926
(bell dings)
coming through! I'm riding here!
168
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:43,995
You peds think you own
the lobby!
169
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,630
Nice bike.
170
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:46,965
My friend fleur rides
her recumbent
171
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,934
To the farmers' market
every weekend.
172
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,802
Farmers' markets are
so commercial.
173
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,971
I'm a member of
a foraging collective.
174
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,674
I've had nothing but mushrooms
and hempseed to eat this week,
175
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:59,177
And I'm pretty dizzy.
176
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,846
Can I get a ride?
177
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,948
I'm lisa, with a "y."
178
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,951
I'm harvard,
with a "why not?"
179
00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:09,788
(laughs) so you're excited
180
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,122
Because you tricked
your best friend
181
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,591
Into making an ass
out of himself
182
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,893
Just so you that could
get an office?
183
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,495
Yeah.
184
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:19,564
What the hell, brody?
You know? Ugh.
185
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,566
What? Okay, a private office is
a huge deal.
186
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,034
There are only 12 of them
on the floor,
187
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,837
And one of them is for
mansfield's bowflex.
188
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:30,509
Okay, I don't know why
it needs the best view.
189
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,111
Or a private bathroom,
for that matter.
190
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,447
Yeah, well, you know what? It's
not like that down here, okay?
191
00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:37,749
We don't have private offices
or private bathrooms
192
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,217
Or... Bathrooms.
193
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,986
We have to use the one
in the chiropractor's office,
194
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,821
Which is on the third floor,
195
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:46,625
And that is a long waddle
when you gotta pee.
196
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:49,961
Okay, you have no idea
what it's like where I work.
197
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,730
If you don't step over
your best friends to get ahead,
198
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,232
You wind up on that wall
with carl, okay?
199
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,635
Mansfield fired seven guys
last year.
200
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,503
And you wouldn't know
what that keep pressure is
201
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,772
Because it's impossible
to get fired down here.
202
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,507
No, that is not true.
(whispers) and lower your voice
203
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,109
'cause you're gonna
wake up tori.
204
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:08,046
Trust me.
205
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,016
If you guys had something to
compete over, you'd do the same.
206
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,585
Or maybe we're just
better people than you are.
207
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,086
Oh. Yeah? Really?
208
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,555
Okay, let's find out.
209
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,623
Hey, guys!
I'm up!
210
00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:21,660
Man, I'm working
on carl's eulogy.
211
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,662
This better be important.
212
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,063
It is.
213
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,532
I'm giving you all
something worth fighting for--
214
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,701
An access card
to the parking garage.
215
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,770
I walk to work,
so I don't need it.
216
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,071
Whoa.
217
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,739
I will blow you.
218
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,778
Uh, blow me away?
219
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,046
Huh?
220
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:46,217
Jenny, you get to be in charge
of who gets it.
221
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,852
Okay, what are you doing?
222
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,955
I'm giving you all
something to compete over.
223
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:52,757
I'm turning the ground floor
into the top floor.
224
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,826
These guys get to see
what it's like to be me,
225
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,128
And you get to be mansfield,
baby.
226
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,833
It felt to kiss you
after saying that.
227
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:04,002
I didn't like it.
Yeah, so weird.
228
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,978
Oh, good morning, sir.
You look very--
229
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,179
(bell dings)
let me tell you something,
mr. Moyer.
230
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:17,015
Someday...
231
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,818
Someday I hope you experience
the joy of having a daughter,
232
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,553
So you can see the smile
on her face
233
00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:23,221
When she spots you
up in the stands
234
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,323
Of every single
volleyball game,
235
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:29,661
School play,
and piano recital.
236
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:33,598
Then I hope you're
fortunate enough to drop dead...
237
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,667
Before she is old enough
238
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,936
To cancel dinner plans
at the last minute
239
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,839
With a text that reads,
"sorry. Busy."
240
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:44,743
Frowny-face, frowny-face,
winking frowny-face.
241
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,611
Dear god,
242
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:47,946
Sometimes I think it's--
it's easier...
(bell dings)
243
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,748
Having a son
than a daughter.
244
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,349
What?
What?
245
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,918
(whistles) occupied.
246
00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:59,024
I'm sure it's just a phase.
247
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:02,694
Every father and daughter
has to go through it.
248
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,929
Except most fathers accept
this new reality,
249
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,065
Which is a mistake.
250
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:10,201
The key is to hold your ground
until it passes.
251
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,771
That's how you win.
252
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,105
Can you really win
at parenting?
253
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:17,142
Have I taught you nothing?
254
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:19,811
Life is a series of contests.
You can win 'em all.
255
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:21,913
Yesterday, I won at lunch.
256
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,049
What did you have?
Nothing.
257
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,917
(cell phone alert chimes)
258
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,318
Oh, here's another text.
What...
259
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,888
Now what the hell kind of bike
is she riding?
260
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:33,458
The tricycle of a man
who's gonna have a frowny-face.
261
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,227
(cell phone alert chimes)
262
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,196
Oh, my god.
263
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,198
Brody just texted me.
264
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,867
Do you know
who lisa's father is?
265
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,804
It's mansfield.
266
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,739
What?
Yeah.
267
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,275
That's crazy.
I paid for lunch.
268
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,410
Well, harvard, who's gonna pay
for your funeral?
269
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,713
You are messing with
mansfield's daughter.
270
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,147
When he figures that out,
271
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,717
The only thing they'll find
of you is your beard.
272
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,353
Why would mansfield's daughter
go after harvard?
273
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,255
Mm, probably to get back
at her dad.
274
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:08,393
Think about it. You're, like,
everything he hates.
275
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,328
That makes total sense.
276
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:13,031
I'm the bad boy.
277
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:15,066
The forbidden fruit.
The devil's candy.
278
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,968
Black licorice.
279
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,671
Harvard, mansfield will
280
00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:22,207
Rip off your helmet
with your head still inside.
281
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:24,876
That's not really good
for my neck.
282
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:28,680
Look, you can either be a man
and go tell lisa it's over,
283
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:31,316
Or you can run and hide
and take the coward's way.
284
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,853
I know what I need to do.
285
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,788
Coward's way. Coward's way!
286
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,890
Whoo!
287
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:44,896
Hey.
288
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,898
You're not mad that I encouraged
you to do the riker, are you?
289
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,099
What? No.
290
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,768
I would have done the same
to you.
291
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,136
Okay.
292
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,104
Besides, it totally worked.
293
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,006
Congratulations.
You got the office.
294
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,341
Shut up.
I'm serious, man.
295
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,009
Mansfield wants to see you
right away.
296
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,310
Oh, my god!
297
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:02,380
I am so sorry
it wasn't you, man.
298
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,815
But you're smiling.
299
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:06,184
Am I? Am I smiling?
Okay, I'll stop.
300
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:10,355
Have I stopped? I can't stop.
Oh, my god.
301
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:12,724
Sir, you wanted to see me?
302
00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:15,093
No.
303
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,028
I wanna see the two gentlemen
seated behind you,
304
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:20,165
Who just flew here from berlin
for an intensely private meeting
305
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,000
Which you're now interrupting.
306
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,238
So I should...
307
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,007
(whistles)
mm.
308
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,244
How'd it go?
309
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,220
I just want to let you know
310
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:45,056
That threepeat tried to
screw me out of the office, too.
311
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:49,160
So... A-point a-brody.
312
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,995
Oh, my god.
313
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,997
Is talking like that why you
went to prom with your cousin?
314
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,834
A-point a-jenny.
315
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,101
(clears throat)
316
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,103
I'm just saying
everybody's competitive.
317
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:00,772
Not down here, we're not.
318
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,841
Oh, yeah? Okay, what happened
with the parking pass?
319
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,108
I gave it to derrick,
320
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:05,410
'cause he drops his nephew off
at school.
321
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:06,945
Yeah, and I gave it to tori.
322
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,479
She's too hot
to take the bus, man.
323
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,215
And I gave it back to jenny
324
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:13,885
Because she always wakes me up
when it's time to go home.
325
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:15,553
Huh.
326
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,890
I guess you guys really are
better people than us upstairs.
327
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:21,459
I guess a-so.
328
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,464
All right, he's gone.
Give me my damn pass.
329
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,533
I think you mean my pass.
330
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,335
You know what?
I'm just gonna take it.
331
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:31,803
(gritted teeth)
back off, bitch.
332
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:33,304
Okay, guys? Guys?
333
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:35,206
No one gets the pass, okay?
334
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,275
I'm in charge.
I get the pass.
335
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,410
Yes, jenny gets the pass
336
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:43,081
As the prize for being
the best person.
337
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:46,150
I guess you're--you're pretty
pleased with yourself.
338
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:47,919
Am I smiling?
I'm smiling, aren't I?
339
00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:51,589
Okay. Okay, you're right.
340
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:54,459
We're--we're exactly the same
as you guys upstairs.
341
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,094
That's all I'm saying.
I-I don't know.
342
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,996
I just thought that
you and I would
343
00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:59,998
Bring out the best qualities
in each other, you know.
344
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,499
Not the worst.
345
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,034
I'm not trying
to make you worse.
346
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:05,103
It's just in my nature
to be competitive.
347
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:06,838
Yeah, but you don't
have to be.
348
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,574
You know what's sexier than
a guy with a private office?
349
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,109
A guy with a private office
350
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,378
That knows all the parts
of "wicked"?
351
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:14,612
A-actually, yeah.
352
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:16,047
Yeah.
(chuckles)
353
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,416
But what's even sexier
than that
354
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,185
Is a guy that puts
the people that he cares about
355
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,988
Above everything else,
no matter what.
356
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,924
Okay. Well...
357
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,458
I'm not that guy.
358
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,494
Uh, I think you are.
359
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:31,029
Uh, I'm really not.
360
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,263
Uh, you really are.
361
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,499
Uh, I'm telling you,
I'm really n--
362
00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:43,074
You are.
363
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:47,245
Uh...
364
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,013
I might be.
365
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,621
(rings bell)
366
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:01,693
Join me, won't you?
367
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:16,574
It's 34 stories.
368
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,343
On the elevator,
it'd take about 90 seconds
369
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:21,112
To get back down
to the ground floor.
370
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:24,048
(lowered voice)
I bet you could beat that.
371
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,385
Nothing happened, I swear.
372
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:30,922
It was second base.
We held hands.
373
00:16:30,924 --> 00:16:32,590
If I thought something
actually happened,
374
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:37,161
Your beard would be washing up
at alcatraz.
375
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,330
Okay. Well, good talk.
I gotta go.
(claps hands)
376
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,566
You'll go when I damn well say
you can go.
377
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:44,235
Okay. I'll just stay here.
378
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,070
I need some intel
on my daughter,
379
00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:48,072
And you're the only one
she seems to be talking to
380
00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:50,008
As she's going through
this phase.
381
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:54,212
Well, maybe it's not a phase.
382
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:59,517
Maybe she just happens to
be into bad boys... (chuckles)
383
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,219
Such as myself.
384
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:04,122
(spits)
385
00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:08,793
This iced tea has gone bad.
386
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,630
That's 40-year-old scotch.
387
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:15,166
Well, I'd get something newer
'cause that's disgusting.
388
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:19,037
I will win this battle
with my daughter.
389
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,371
Well, maybe.
390
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,073
But if you're like me--
391
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,709
And you seem to be
exactly like me...
392
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,112
You don't want to miss a week
with lisa.
393
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:29,480
I see.
So you're saying
394
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,250
The price of victory
might just be too high.
395
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,751
No. No, I'm saying,
hang out with her,
396
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,420
See what you have in common.
397
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:38,189
If you want, I could tell you
what she likes.
398
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:39,524
I know what lisa likes.
399
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,758
You mean "lisa."
400
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,127
Lisa.
Lisa.
401
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,763
Lisa. Lisa.
Lisa. Lisa.
402
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,398
Lisa.
Lisa.
403
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,633
Lisa.
Lisa.
404
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:51,736
Lisa. Lisa. Lisa.
Lisa. Lisa. Lisa.
405
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,371
Lisa.
Lisa.
406
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,473
Lisa.
There it is.
407
00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:02,780
So I think you should
give the office to threepeat.
408
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,282
He brought in
the moran account.
409
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,483
He deserves it.
410
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,685
Oh, the magnanimous play.
411
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,387
No, there's no play, sir.
412
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:11,189
I just like to think
I'm the kind of guy
413
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,458
Who supports his friends
no matter what.
414
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,793
You know, I'm trying to be
a better person.
415
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,763
This is the girl's influence
on you, isn't it?
416
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,665
This is jenny. Am I right?
417
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,667
Yeah, she may have mentioned
something.
418
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,635
Well, she's making you
a better person.
419
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,505
She's making you put
other people's feelings
420
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:31,109
In front of yours.
421
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,410
Yeah, she is.
422
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,445
It's bullshit.
423
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:37,782
This is your job.
424
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:41,052
This is not some puppet show
at the children's library.
425
00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:42,453
When you leave
this building,
426
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,821
I don't care if you're
patch frickin' adams.
427
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:47,191
When you're here,
you go for the jugular.
428
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:49,627
This is your job,
and that office was yours.
429
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,062
It was?
430
00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:52,463
And now it's not.
431
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,333
Ah, mr. Wen.
432
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,701
Congratulations.
433
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,236
The office is yours.
434
00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,537
Yeah, it is!
435
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:12,517
I can't reward that.
436
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,485
I'm not gonna give the office
to anyone.
437
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,454
Check that--
438
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,290
I'm gonna give it to
the potted plant.
(elevator bell dings)
439
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:23,194
It's the only thing around here
that doesn't piss me off.
440
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:24,529
You ready, dad?
441
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,364
I sure am, sweetheart.
442
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:30,568
Let's go ride
adult tricycles.
443
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,637
(lowered voice) not a word.
444
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,508
I'm really proud of you.
445
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,279
You showed a lot of integrity.
Very sexy.
446
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:44,515
I'd trade it all
for that office.
447
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,751
I know.
Oh, it's starting.
448
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:50,388
Carl macneil will be missed.
449
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:53,391
An avid fisherman, a golfer,
450
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,126
And proud owner of
451
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:58,863
The state's largest collection
of ships in bottles.
452
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,632
I probably don't need to mention
he was white.
453
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,869
Carl is in a better place now--
454
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,572
Goldman sachs.
455
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,807
This is for you, carl.
456
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,778
(kisses)
457
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:17,782
This is the best part.
458
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,483
Why?
459
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,852
♪ amazing grace
oh, 'cause you're singing,
460
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,222
You think I'm--
this is ridiculous
461
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:28,492
(both) ♪ how sweet the sound
462
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:35,299
♪ that saved a wretch like me
463
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:37,668
(off-key) ♪ ohh
464
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:42,373
(all) ♪ I once was lost
465
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:45,943
♪ but now am found
466
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,511
♪ ooh
467
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:53,818
♪ was blind, but now I see
468
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:58,222
(high-pitched sobbing)
469
00:20:58,224 --> 00:20:59,557
(gasps)
470
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:01,626
Let's eat. (chuckles)