1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:06,205
3, 2, 1...
2
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:08,173
Lunchtime!
3
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:10,342
Yeah!
(tori) all righty.
4
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,312
All right! Who'd ready to hit up
that new food truck again?
5
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,680
No, no, no.
That's not a food truck.
6
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,248
That's a guy selling
bunless hot dogs
7
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,250
Out of the back of a van.
8
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,152
(laughs) are you guys
talking about van dogs?
9
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,487
Yeah.
Yeah.
10
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,255
Yeah? (laughs)
you in or you out, girl?
11
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:26,125
Um, I would love to, but brody
and I are going to lunch.
12
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:28,127
(tori) oh?
Oh, where has he been? I haven't
seen that guy in weeks.
13
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:31,597
Yeah. You know, you're right,
derrick. It has been amazing.
14
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:34,033
Harvard, he's just been
really busy lately.
15
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:37,736
But he's still the sweetest,
most thoughtful guy--
(cell phone alert chimes)
16
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:41,473
Oh! That son of a bitch
canceled on me again.
17
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:44,209
Now that it's finally over,
I feel like I can tell you
18
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,645
I never really cared
for him.
19
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,514
(cell phone alert chimes)
20
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:52,117
Oh, my god, you guys!
He made me a video.
21
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:55,220
♪ when I see your face
22
00:00:55,222 --> 00:01:00,292
♪ there's not a thing
that I would change ♪
23
00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:03,128
♪ 'cause you're amazing
24
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:06,432
♪ just the way you are
25
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:10,102
How sweet! (laughs) oh!
26
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,537
Oh, big deal.
Aw!
27
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:14,239
I could sing like that, too,
if I had a good voice.
28
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,574
Why is he on the toilet?
Is he pooping?
29
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,376
No!
30
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:20,112
The bathroom's the only place
he can sneak away.
31
00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:21,480
Yeah, that's cool.
32
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:24,016
If I sung like that,
I would poop all day.
33
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:25,651
He is not pooping, okay?
34
00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:27,686
His childhood dream was
to be a singer,
35
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,254
And he even had a music teacher
36
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,290
That told him he was
good enough.
37
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,125
So? I had a teacher who told me
I could be a model.
38
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:37,696
He even took pictures of me
in my underwear to prove it.
39
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,400
Can you forward me
that video, please?
40
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:42,634
Yeah, me, too.
I really love that song.
41
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,369
No, you guys,
that's private.
42
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:45,704
Guys, guys, guys.
43
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,272
Why would
a typing teacher need
44
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,074
Pictures of me
in my underwear?
45
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,442
So van dogs.
46
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,479
(derrick) van dogs!
We eatin'!
47
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,214
Oh.
48
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:58,584
Jenny, you forgot...
(lowers voice) your phone.
49
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:05,190
Brody, say hello to youtube.
50
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:08,427
(laughs evilly)
51
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:09,795
You were supposed to forward me
those numbers!
52
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,363
I can't forward you
those numbers
53
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,731
Until kyle forwards them
to me.
54
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,299
Kyle!
Kyle!
55
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,168
I can't take this anymore, guys!
56
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,337
(cell phone alert chimes)
oh, this might be it.
57
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,705
Oh, this is good.
58
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,306
Are those the numbers?
59
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,741
Mnh-mnh. It's something called
"potty pavarotti."
60
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,444
Oh.
No, you might wanna
check this out.
61
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:30,115
(brody)
♪ when I see your face
62
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,717
♪ there's not a thing that...
63
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:34,586
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
Do not forward that, please.
64
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:37,589
No, no, no. I would never...
Again.
65
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,291
♪ when I see your face
66
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,560
(laughing)
okay, let's go.
Let's hand it over.
67
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:44,096
Very, very funny.
We're all laughing.
♪ when I see your face
68
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:46,165
(cell phone alert chimes)
oh, every--
everyone's a comedian now.
69
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,467
All right. I understand
what's going on. Oh, wonderful.
70
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,602
♪ when I see your face
oh, kyle, you, too. Wonderful.
71
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:53,739
What am I doing? I'm trying to
stop the internet with my hands.
72
00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:56,875
What the hell's going on
out here?
73
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,610
Uh, it's just
a funny video, sir.
74
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:01,747
Well, show it to me.
I could use a good rib tickling.
75
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,515
I don't think
you'll like it, sir.
76
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,685
I wanna be tickled.
Who wants to tickle me?
77
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:09,354
Mr. Wen? Mr. Mccormick?
78
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,689
Potty pavarotti?
79
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:14,293
How did you--
80
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,361
You've gone viral, son.
81
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,597
And, mr. Moyer, you have
the voice of an angel.
82
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,699
Get me those numbers.
83
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:24,236
(gruff voice)
♪ when I see your face
84
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:29,775
♪
85
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:33,445
-- Captions by vitac --
86
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,553
Jenny?
87
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,255
Well, well, well, well, well.
88
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,924
If it isn't depeche commode.
89
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,962
New kid on the pot.
90
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:53,265
I suppose you're wondering
who came up
91
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,167
With the diabolical plan
to spread
92
00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:59,238
This virus of humiliation
around the world.
93
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:01,707
It was obviously you.
94
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,208
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.
95
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,911
That was a dramatic pause.
96
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,280
(dramatically) 'twas I.
97
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:09,948
Nobody cares, man.
98
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:14,486
Well, why don't you tell that
to the 42,345 people
99
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,655
Who have witnessed you
at your lowest moment,
100
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,458
Turd eye blind?
101
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,661
Listen to this
scathing comment.
102
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,296
"not bad."
hmm.
103
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,597
"cute."
huh.
104
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:29,368
"where can I buy this?"
105
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:32,204
Damn it!
106
00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:33,805
Hey, babe.
Hey.
107
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:36,975
I am so, so sorry
about that video.
108
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,877
'twas harvard.
109
00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:42,447
How was work?
Oh, my god. It was insane.
110
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,849
By 7:30, the deal was dead,
111
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:45,751
So mansfield gets on the phone
to singapore.
112
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,552
I get on the phone
to frankfurt.
113
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,588
I took a bissel german
in college. (speaks german)
114
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:51,256
Anyway, long story long,
115
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:54,426
By the time threepeat talked
kyle off mansield's balcony,
116
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,761
The deal was saved,
and here I am.
117
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,496
I love my job!
I love it so much!
118
00:04:57,498 --> 00:05:00,699
(laughs) okay.
Let's put that coffee down.
119
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:04,536
And it's empty, which would
explain why you're vibrating.
120
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:05,871
(cup thuds)
121
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,973
Which might actually be
a lot of fun for me
122
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,941
If we were spending
any time together.
123
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,778
Okay. Look, I-I know
that I've been busy lately,
124
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,446
But the deal has to close
by Sunday night,
125
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,682
And Monday's a holiday,
so I will be all yours.
126
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:21,520
(chuckles) and I know exactly
what I'm gonna do with you.
127
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,288
Oh, I think I do, too.
Mm-hmm.
128
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,624
Baseball game.
Sex-a-thon--
129
00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:27,292
Baseball game.
130
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:29,828
My diamondbacks
versus your giants--
131
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:33,832
Just you, me, and the greatest
team in the national league.
132
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,567
Plus the diamondbacks
will be there.
133
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,269
Oh, ho! Ha ha ha ha!
134
00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:39,838
Your team is
so getting spanked.
135
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,273
(cell phone alert chimes)
oh, sorry.
136
00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:42,607
Crap. That's mansfield.
137
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,276
Something's going on
with the deal.
138
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:45,677
What's going on with the deal?
What's the deal?
139
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,913
Oh, my god!
I love my job so much!
140
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:54,619
All right, team.
Bring it in. Let's take a knee.
141
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:57,656
Oh, sir, this is
a new prada suit, so...
142
00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,024
(whistles)
143
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:04,329
Now I just got off the phone
with singapore,
144
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:06,298
And it looks like this deal
is going to close.
145
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:07,799
(all cheer)
146
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,368
This is a place of business.
147
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:12,604
I'll tell you when
you can cheer.
148
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:13,638
And you cheer!
149
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,073
(all cheer)
150
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,542
Now we have a lot of hard work
in front of us,
151
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:20,579
But when we do close,
you will be rewarded.
152
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,013
Won't somebody cheer?
153
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,583
(all cheer)
154
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:27,419
Because remington trust
is the best damn team
155
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,621
In this business.
Give me a cheer.
156
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:30,856
(all cheer)
157
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:32,657
Because I'm gonna take you
to see
158
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:34,960
The best damn baseball team
in the business--
159
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,795
The san francisco giants--
160
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:40,365
From the best damn luxury suite
money can buy,
161
00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:41,933
And this is all gonna happen
Monday.
162
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,435
(all) Monday!
163
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,004
Or Tuesday works better
for some people.
164
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,374
Monday it is!
165
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:52,177
(all cheer)
166
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:03,855
Okay, everybody has off Monday
for the holiday,
167
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:08,460
But I do need two volunteers to
help keep the building open.
168
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,829
Oh, yeah, that's a "hell, no"
from me, okay?
169
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,132
I've watched too many
horror movies,
170
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,468
And the lone black guy
in the empty office building--
171
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,770
He's gonna die.
172
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,972
Hey, tori,
can you work Monday?
173
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,108
Yeah. What the hell.
I'll do it, too.
174
00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:28,947
Hey, you.
175
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,016
Oh, hey, babe.
So bad news.
176
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,852
The giants game's
sold out Monday.
177
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,921
Oh, no!
178
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:40,425
But I went online
and got us tickets! (laughing)
179
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:42,928
Oh, awesome.
I'm so psyched.
180
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,696
Now are they the best seats?
No.
181
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,865
But are they the worst seats?
(stammers) yes.
182
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:50,001
Oh. (laughs) wow.
You wanna hear something funny?
183
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,870
Yeah.
(laughs) you're gonna laugh.
184
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,472
I love to laugh, so...
185
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:55,540
So to reward us
for our hard work...
Mm-hmm?
186
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:56,908
Mansfield bought
the luxury suite
187
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,810
For Monday's game.
(laughs)
(laughs)
188
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,645
It's the same game
we're supposed to go to.
189
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,048
So are you telling me
that you're gonna bail on me
190
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,549
On your one day off of work
191
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:06,418
To spend more time
with your boss?
192
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:09,888
(laughs nervously)
not now, I'm not.
193
00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:15,894
Sir, can I talk to you
for a second?
194
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:18,430
Whoa!
195
00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:20,565
Brody, what in the hell
are you doing?
196
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:23,668
I'm sorry. Your assistant told
me that you were in here, so...
197
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,437
You're violating
steam room etiquette.
198
00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:27,072
You understand?
You enter a steam room
199
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:31,676
The exact same way
you enter the world--naked.
200
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:35,213
Gotcha. So... I wanted
to talk to you
201
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,549
About the baseballs...
202
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:41,553
(exhales deeply)
uh, the baseball game
on Monday.
203
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,822
Oh, it's gonna be
a good one, isn't it?
204
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:46,224
You are a, uh, fellow
giants fan, I trust.
205
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,126
The biggest.
Oh.
206
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,895
Now about that, I...
207
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:53,098
I just gave $250,000
to the giants' charity.
208
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:56,601
Okay, well, I have a willie mays
bobblehead doll, so...
Mm.
209
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:59,804
You know, I've been blessed
with two very lovely daughters,
210
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:01,172
Neither of which has
211
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,475
The slightest bit of interest
in baseball,
212
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:05,544
So it's always been
a dream of mine
213
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,579
To have a son
who might like to go
214
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,214
To a couple games
with me.
215
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,716
Yeah.
216
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:15,520
(laughs) so funny story.
You wanna laugh?
No.
217
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:16,922
Oh, excellent. So, um...
218
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:19,491
Turns out that jenny
already bought us tickets
219
00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:20,926
To the same game.
220
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,994
That's a crime.
I hope you let her down easy.
221
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,496
Well, I tried, but...
222
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:26,965
You know how girls get hurt
when you tell them
223
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,000
You can't do something
with them?
224
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:32,103
Are you saying you...
225
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,239
(voice breaks) you don't wanna
go to the game with me?
226
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,974
No, no, of c--of course not.
It's just that--
227
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:37,742
'cause I'll be darned.
It sounded like you said
228
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,644
You don't wanna go
to the game with me.
Oh.
229
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:42,213
I'm not saying that at all.
I'm just saying,
230
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,950
I haven't really spent a lot of
time with jenny recently, so--
231
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:47,619
How it god's name could you
bail on your team like this?
232
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,020
Come on.
Don't be like that.
233
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,655
Don't tell me how to be.
234
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:53,224
Mr. Moyer, look.
235
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,126
Do you know why we work
so very hard
236
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,662
To close these deals?
237
00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:59,097
The money?
238
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,665
Of course it's the money.
239
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,167
After the money,
240
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,835
There's the camaraderie.
241
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,805
Just like when the pack
gets themselves an antelope,
242
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,007
And afterwards,
everyone celebrates.
243
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,776
I mean, everyone
but the antelope, of course.
244
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,278
(door opens)
245
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,851
Just need to get a signature
on these invoices.
246
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,720
Why the hell
are you naked?
247
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:23,755
Uh, steam room etiquette?
248
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:26,291
Bend over. Nice and deep.
249
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,692
All right.
250
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:30,662
What are you looking at?
251
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,197
Just something that I'll see
252
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:35,266
For the rest of my life
every time I close my eyes.
253
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:38,637
Quit making this weird.
254
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:40,972
Sir, I could probably
talk to jenny again.
255
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,041
Oh, no,
you made your choice.
256
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,242
There will be no antelope
for you.
257
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,977
We're gonna have fun
without you.
258
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:49,848
Young man, how would you
like a free ticket
259
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:53,952
To the company luxury suite
for a giants baseball game?
260
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,254
(chuckles) is this some
sort of machiavellian ploy
261
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,089
To punish brody?
262
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:01,159
You're damn right it is.
Are you in or out?
(laughs) in.
263
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,862
Of course I'm in.
(laughs)
264
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:09,868
This is gonna be awesome.
265
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:13,038
Some quality time
to bond with mansfield.
266
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,305
Oh, kyle, real talk?
267
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,841
I don't think mansfield
knows your name.
268
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:21,246
Who's ready for baseball?
Everybody gets a glove.
269
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,982
Mr. Mccormick. Mr. Wen.
270
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:25,984
Sport.
271
00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:32,357
Attention, capitalist pigs.
272
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:35,393
I am here ironically.
273
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,729
I have no interest in indulging
274
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:40,865
In your bourgeois idea
of luxury. (chuckles)
275
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,268
Is that your own
private carvery?
276
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,070
It's ridiculous.
277
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:48,640
What do you expect us to pay
for this orgy of indulgence?
278
00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:50,975
It's free, man.
279
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:53,011
I will take two of all
the things you have here.
280
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,312
Kill another cow.
281
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,780
I don't care.
282
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:58,016
You know, wen,
this seat's not taken.
283
00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,417
Why don't you sit here?
284
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:03,288
Uh... It's just that brody
normally sits next to you.
285
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,724
Brody's not here, is he?
Come on. Scooch over.
286
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:06,858
Okay.
287
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,927
You a, uh,
you a giants fan?
288
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:13,098
Oh. Yeah. The biggest.
Getting killed today, though.
289
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,966
Game hasn't started yet.
290
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,237
Oh, good.
We're still in it, then.
291
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:27,045
Okay. I'm gonna...
(clears throat) I'm right here.
292
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:30,081
And you're two rows up
unless you wanna switch.
293
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,316
No, no, I'll be fine.
294
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,017
I'll send up a flare
when I get there.
295
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:34,352
(both laugh)
296
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:37,055
Get ready to have a fun day,
just you and me.
297
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:40,058
Mwah. Oh, I've already
forgotten about work.
298
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,860
(woman over p.A.) how about
a big giants welcome
299
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:45,130
For our special guests today?
Remington trust.
300
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:48,266
The road to a better life
begins at remington.
301
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,201
It's pretty good up here, too.
302
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,903
What do we have here? So...
303
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:54,439
Hey, looks like I got
that middle seat there
304
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:55,940
Just between you guys.
305
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:56,941
No, you know what? Uh...
306
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,343
There we go. Sorry.
307
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:01,379
Real quick. Oh. Hey,
we're on the same team.
308
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,047
And I'm in. Great.
309
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:05,383
And now please rise
for our national anthem.
310
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,252
(strained voice) oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
311
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,454
(mouthing words)
312
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,125
(crowd cheering)
313
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,961
Yeah! (laughs)
314
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,197
Check me out.
I'm hawaiian wolverine.
315
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:22,267
Huh?
(imitates blades zinging)
316
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,369
No.
(growls)
317
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:27,472
So jaded. God.
You guys are in a wonderland.
318
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,307
We've all been given
a golden ticket
319
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,875
To wonka's factory.
320
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:33,411
The only thing missing
is...
321
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,347
Is that a fountain
of chocolate?!
322
00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:40,251
(bat hits ball,
crowd cheering)
323
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:43,755
Whoo! All right.
324
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:47,425
Hey, how'd you get
that guy to switch seats?
Oh, I asked him nicely.
325
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:48,827
And then I took him
on a little trip...
326
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,461
(singsongy) to cleave-land.
(laughs)
327
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:53,164
Oh, cleave-land is so beautiful
this time of year.
328
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,532
(both chuckle)
329
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,202
Are you watching the game
on your phone?
330
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,837
No, it's just
threepeat's instagram.
331
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,071
He keeps posting pictures
332
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,140
Of what's going on
in the luxury suite.
333
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:05,176
Who cares what's going on
in the luxury suite?
Oh, I certainly don't.
334
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,111
I'm just happy that
threepeat's finally
335
00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:09,080
Getting some quality time
with mansfield...
336
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,115
In the seat that I usually
sit in. (chuckles)
337
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:13,418
Close enough, threepeat?
Why don't you hop in his lap?
338
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,919
Ha ha ha. I'm laughing
at it, though.
339
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,154
(chuckles)
340
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:18,456
Babe, come on.
You're here with me.
341
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,325
It's a beautiful day.
342
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:21,993
We're just outside
of cleave-land.
You're right. (laughs)
343
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:23,828
You're right, you're right,
you're right.
344
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,496
That's gotta be crab legs,
right?
345
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:28,867
They couldn't have flown in
lobster. Ah, who cares?
346
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,336
You know, the truth is, I never
really got into baseball
347
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,271
Because it's more
of a father/son game.
348
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:34,906
You know, my dad was
more into individual sports
349
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:38,376
Like tennis and golf
and withholding affection.
350
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,346
Oh, I think every boy
should learn about baseball.
351
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,481
It encompasses
everything I love--
352
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,884
High salaries,
statistical analysis,
353
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:47,852
And those
tiny batting helmets
354
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,921
That they say are just
for kids under 12,
355
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:52,557
But of course,
I say that's bullshit.
356
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:56,861
Well... You know, sir,
I've always wanted
357
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:59,063
To learn how to throw
a curvy ball.
358
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,099
Curveball's
a very meager commodity.
359
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,600
It's all about the grip.
Take a hold of that
360
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:05,169
And get your finger
across the lace
361
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,839
And... When you release it,
pull the trigger.
362
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:10,441
You pull the trigger.
How does that feel?
363
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,110
That feels like a family.
364
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,945
Attaboy.
365
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,880
Maybe we should have
a catch sometime.
366
00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:18,016
Oh, I want that so bad.
367
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,852
Oh, god. Oh.
368
00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:23,521
Young man, is that chocolate
that you're drinking?
369
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:26,357
Yeah, yeah, and there's a whole
fountain of it right back there.
370
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:29,494
(laughs) it's making me
a little sick,
371
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:31,596
But I'm powering
right through it.
372
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:35,633
Score some points!
(laughs)
373
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:40,204
But now I am 100%
totally yours.
374
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:43,908
After I go
to the bathroom.
375
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,877
Didn't you just go?
376
00:15:45,879 --> 00:15:47,178
Yeah, but you keep making me
chug my beer
377
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,347
Every time the diamondbacks
score a run.
378
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,248
(bat hits ball)
379
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,649
(crowd cheering)
380
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:54,519
Speaking of that...
Damn it!
381
00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:59,090
Guys, word of warning...
382
00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:03,161
Do not dip the turkey leg
in chocolate.
383
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,629
It is disgusting and...
384
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,231
(high-pitched voice)
highly addictive. (giggles)
385
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,100
(singsongy)
look who's here.
386
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:11,602
(chanting)
brody, brody, brody!
387
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:13,938
Mr. Moyer.
What are you doing here?
388
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:16,641
I just came down to say hi
and just pop back up.
389
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,176
Well, you've said hi.
You've come down.
390
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,445
Now you can pop up.
391
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:26,050
Oh, well, well, well. How does
it feel to be on the outside?
392
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:28,286
(chuckles) pressing your face
against the glass,
393
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:32,256
Watching us eat our turkey
and chocolate... (chuckles)
394
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:35,526
Knowing that you will never be
the center of attention
395
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,228
Ever again? (chuckles)
396
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,363
(bat hits ball)
397
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:39,664
(crowd cheering)
oh!
398
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,533
Oh!
I got it! I got it!
399
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,336
Brody just caught that ball
with his bare hands!
400
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,171
Yeah!
(all chanting) brody! Brody!
401
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,273
(crowd cheering)
402
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:52,443
Oh, my god!
403
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,679
(vomits)
(crowd groans)
404
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:58,383
Oh, my god.
405
00:17:00,986 --> 00:17:02,487
Son, tell it again,
won't ya?
406
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:04,422
Okay. So I heard the crack
of the bat.
407
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,657
I saw the ball out of the corner
of my eye, and then boom.
408
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,326
Pure reflex. And fun fact--
I'm right-handed,
409
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,660
But I caught the ball
with my left.
410
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:13,297
I love this game!
I love this game so much!
411
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:15,400
(chuckles)
uh, but you know what?
412
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,001
I actually do have to
get back to--
jenny.
413
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:19,170
Exactly. Oh. Jenny.
414
00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:23,274
I caught you a ball.
415
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:27,545
Oh, my gosh, brody.
Thank you so much!
416
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,746
(men) whoa!
417
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:32,150
Oh, it hit the guy
I threw up on.
418
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,385
Well, I'm sorry
to interrupt, everyone.
419
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,121
Enjoy the rest of the game.
Wait, jenny, jenny.
420
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,990
You know what? Look, if you're
gonna sneak around on me,
421
00:17:38,992 --> 00:17:42,026
At least have the decency to
do it with a really hot chick,
422
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:45,163
Not a 50-year-old guy.
Okay.
423
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,597
Look, I was not
sneaking around.
424
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:48,299
I just came down here
for a minute
425
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:49,667
To celebrate with my team,
426
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,436
But I was gonna come
right back up to you,
427
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,471
And then I caught the ball
with my weak hand.
428
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:56,707
Look, brody, I know that work
comes first. I get it.
429
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:59,143
But on your one day off,
I, uh...
430
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:02,213
I wish that I at least
made, like, the top five.
Hey, you do.
431
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:03,648
You're more than that. I--
just look, why don't we go
432
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,483
Up to our seats right now?
Oh.
433
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:09,320
Oh, no. 'cause they're not
our seats. They're my seats.
434
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,055
So I'm gonna go back
to my seat
435
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,224
And cheer for my team...
436
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:18,129
After I take a turkey leg.
437
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,163
(sighs)
438
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:21,632
Shouldn't have
come down here.
439
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,367
I shouldn't have lied
to jenny.
440
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:25,336
I honestly shouldn't have caught
the ball with one hand.
441
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:28,172
Damn
my natural athleticism.
442
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:29,474
What you
shouldn't have done
443
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:30,675
Is hurt that
little girl's feelings.
444
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,276
What the hell
were you thinking?
445
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,679
Well, you did say that
it was more important
446
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,214
To be a part of the team.
447
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,516
Naked men in steam rooms
say a lot of things
448
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,751
That they do not mean.
449
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:46,224
Gosh, I can't believe that
she threw your foul ball back.
450
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,625
Yeah.
That's real rage.
Bless her heart.
451
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,193
You're gonna have to do
something about it.
452
00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:50,695
Yeah. I'm gonna have
to do something big.
453
00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,263
No, you're gonna have
to do something giant.
454
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,499
Lucky for you,
I have giant friends
455
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,300
Who owe me giant favors
456
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,337
Because these are
the san francisco giants.
457
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,305
Yeah, no,
I get the reference.
458
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,908
Good. Save your voice.
You're gonna need it.
459
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,114
And now please welcome,
to sing
460
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:12,650
"take me out to the ball game,"
remington trust's own
461
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,353
Potty pavarotti!
462
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,488
(crowd cheering)
463
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:20,424
(amplified voice)
this is for jenny.
464
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,560
I'll always be on your team.
465
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,428
(chuckles) no way.
466
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:28,866
♪ take me
out to the ball game ♪
467
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:32,870
♪ take me out to the crowd
468
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:37,775
(crowd singing along)
♪ buy me some peanuts
and cracker jacks ♪
469
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:42,580
♪ I don't care
if I ever get back ♪
470
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:45,683
♪ 'cause it's root,
root, root for the... ♪
471
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,252
♪ d-backs
(crowd) ♪ giants
472
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:51,622
(crowd booing)
♪ if they don't win,
it's a shame ♪
473
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:55,226
♪ 'cause it's one, two
474
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,694
♪ three strikes, you're out
475
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,397
♪ at the old
476
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,232
♪ ball game
477
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:03,668
(cheers and applause)
478
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,403
Go, d-backs!
479
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,338
(crowd booing)
that is my boyfriend!
480
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:10,541
That's my boy.
481
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:18,816
Okay, please just tell me
the story one more time.
482
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:21,485
All right, fine, but this
is the last time, okay?
483
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,187
So I finished singing
the song,
484
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,456
I yelled, "go, d-backs,"
485
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,225
And then 40,000 people
start booing me.
486
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,827
Uh, 40,000 people
minus one.
487
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:33,164
Yes, I heard you cheering.
Thank you.
(giggles)
488
00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:35,833
And then I run off the field
in a blind panic
489
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,636
And I'm pulled
by the diamondbacks manager.
490
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:40,671
Kirk gibson.
Kirk gibson, yes.
491
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:43,474
Who brings me into
the diamondbacks dugout,
492
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:46,177
Where I am high-fived
by the entire team.
493
00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:48,579
Oh, my god, oh, my god,
oh, my god, oh, my god.
494
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:51,749
(laughs) okay, now tell me
my favorite part.
495
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,918
I'm throwing out
the first pitch
496
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,754
At the diamondbacks
home opener next year.
497
00:20:56,756 --> 00:21:00,958
(laughs) I love this game.
I love it so much.
498
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,860
(laughs)