1
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,237
Congratulations,
everyone.
2
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,940
We finally made it
to the forbes 100.
3
00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:09,508
Holler!
Yeah, we did!
4
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:13,379
The forbes 100 worst places
for a woman to work.
5
00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:17,616
If we call them, perhaps
we could get a retraction.
6
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,084
I'm sorry,
did you say "perhaps"?
7
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:20,619
Because when I hear a man
say "perhaps,"
8
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:23,155
I think perhaps he has
no spine,
9
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:27,359
And perhahe should be
looking for a new place to work.
10
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,695
Next time you feel confident
about something,
11
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,630
Say "definitely."
12
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,999
We can definitely do something
to get off that list.
13
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,502
Don't say "definitely"
unless you have a plan.
14
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,539
I should not be
on that list.
15
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,508
I love women.
I respect women.
16
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:45,110
The most important people
in my life are my wife,
17
00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:48,280
My daughters,
and barbara boxer--my dog!
18
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,384
Let me ask the women here,
if this is such a sexist,
19
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,986
Horrible place to work,
20
00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:55,354
Why hasn't anybody
said anything?
21
00:00:58,691 --> 00:01:01,326
Oh, son of a bitch!
22
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,998
♪
23
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,068
-- Captions by vitac --
24
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,743
This should not have happened.
25
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,678
I don't base my decisions
on gender.
26
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,347
I hire people based on
three criteria--
27
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:25,184
That they be smart, driven,
and have balls.
28
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:27,152
And, yes, I heard myself.
29
00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:30,589
Well, we should have known,
since threepeat's
30
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,424
The only one who uses
the ladies' room.
31
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,726
Yeah, it's the only one with
a full-length mirror, so...
32
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,462
Well, there aren't gonna be
any more men
33
00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,063
Using the ladies' room.
34
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,299
In fact, I'm putting a camera
in the ladies' room.
35
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:43,102
And, yes, I heard
myself again.
36
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:46,071
The days of this being
a boys' club are over.
37
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:47,673
In fact,
I just made the first
38
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,541
Of what are going to be
many female hires.
39
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,211
She is one of the top money
managers in the United States.
40
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:55,114
She was top of her class
at the harvard business school.
41
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,782
Harvard.
I went to harvard.
Oh.
42
00:01:56,784 --> 00:02:00,119
Didn't take you long to drop
the "I went to harvard" bomb.
43
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,653
Her name is heather doyle.
44
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,089
Oh, my god!
Uh, she's my ex-girlfriend.
45
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:05,791
We--we hooked up
in business school.
46
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,426
Yeah, and it didn't
take you long to drop
47
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:10,162
The "I hooked up
in business school" bomb.
48
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,431
Is this going to be
a problem for you?
49
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,166
Let me rephrase--
50
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,768
I don't care if this is going
to be a problem for you.
51
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:19,638
Uh, no. It--there--
there's no problem.
52
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,173
Are you kidding?
The...
53
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,708
I-I'm just gonna
explain it to jenny.
54
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:25,777
It's totally fine. So, uh,
when does this heather start?
55
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,446
Ten minutes.
56
00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,789
Hi. I'm heather doyle.
57
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,391
I'm ten minutes early--
to you.
58
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,692
To me,
I'm ten minutes late
59
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,528
Because I like to be
20 minutes early.
60
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,696
Could you validate my parking?
Oh, never mind. I got it.
61
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,368
(laughs) I'm sorry.
What just happened?
62
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:52,638
(sighs) I just got hired
by remington trust.
63
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,240
I am, uh, nine minutes
early.
Oh.
64
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,409
So, heather, uh, let's get you
into the system, yeah?
65
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:58,844
Great. (laughs)
derrick,
we need an I.D. Here.
66
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,612
Yeah. All right.
Grab a seat.
Oh!
67
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,648
I must warn you,
no matter what you do,
68
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:05,250
You will appear to be
cross-eyed.
69
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,819
Well, I used to take
bad photos,
70
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,489
So I took a weekend seminar,
"never take a bad photo,"
71
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,357
And I haven't since.
72
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,594
The trick is to act like you're
biting an invisible apple.
73
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,296
(shutter clicks)
74
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,932
Hey, damn! Bite that
invisible apple, girl!
75
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:22,801
No way, harvard!
76
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,803
You are not coming with us
to karaoke.
77
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,239
No offense, but you suck.
78
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,540
(scoffs) I'm sorry!
79
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,442
Have you heard me sing
"american pie"?
80
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,810
Yes.
81
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,412
And it's way too long, man.
82
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,314
And then you start making up
your own words.
83
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,815
People want to know
what happened
84
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,817
After he drove the chevy
to the levee, derrick.
85
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,353
Hey! You went to harvard?
86
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,721
Mm-hmm.
What?
87
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,157
Not you. Did you know
a guy named brody?
88
00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:46,358
At harvard?
What?
89
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,626
Not you.
90
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,595
Are you talking about
brody moyer?
91
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:52,798
Yeah, yeah! He works upstairs.
I'm actually dating him.
92
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,701
Oh, my god! I used to
date him at harvard.
93
00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:57,803
What?
What?
94
00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:00,606
Hey, uh, jenny--
95
00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,407
Brody!
Brody!
96
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,576
(chuckles) heather, jenny.
So you guys have met.
97
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,211
Great!
Yeah.
98
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:07,813
Oh, that's wonderful.
I was--I was worried.
99
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:09,448
You know?
I was actually thinking--
100
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:10,782
You're gonna love this.
I'm gonna love this.
101
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,317
By the way, heather,
you look wonderful.
102
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,685
Oh!
I mean, you know
what I mean?
103
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,320
You look amazing, too,
jenny, of course,
104
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,822
But I feel like when someone's
wearing red,
105
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,690
You kind of have to--
that's a guaranteed, like--
106
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,592
You have to say something
about that.
(laughs)
107
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,495
You've had sex
with both of them.
108
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:29,601
Just trying to move
everything along here.
109
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,703
Heather, jenny, I'm glad
you guys have met.
110
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,605
There's no reason
for this to be awkward.
111
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:37,376
So... How long were
you two lovers?
112
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,211
Don't say "lovers."
113
00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:40,545
All right, I'm sorry.
114
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:43,882
How long did you two
make-a the sex, huh?
115
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,888
(clicks tongue) don't say
"make-a the sex."
116
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,925
I should get upstairs.
117
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:56,361
Brody, maybe we can catch up
more during lunch.
118
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:58,864
Oh, well, actually, I'm gonna
have lunch today with jenny.
119
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,632
Oh.
You should totally come.
120
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,335
I'd love to. Are you sure
it won't be weird?
121
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,337
No--
yeah, are you sure
it won't be weird?
122
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,906
No. No, no, no.
I'm totally not that girl.
123
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,509
Yeah. Cool, cool, cool.
Um, you know, more, the merrier.
124
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,744
(chuckles)
125
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,012
Hold on, hold on.
126
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,847
I don't think I'm stepping
over any line here
127
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,749
When I say personally
I'd like to see
128
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:20,719
You two get back together!
Get in there!
Oh! (laughs)
129
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:29,261
Welcome to the team,
heather.
130
00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:31,363
Since you're new here,
why don't I fill you in
131
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,332
On how things
are gonna work, huh?
132
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:36,335
Brody and I are top dogs--
los pollos locos.
133
00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:38,503
Mm.
134
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,572
But I don't want you
to be intimidated.
135
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,774
Aw! You're so sweet.
136
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:46,011
Let me tell you
how this is gonna work.
137
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:49,381
I'm gonna take your accounts,
your clients,
138
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:52,551
And then I'm gonna
eat your lunch.
139
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,421
I will see you
in the ladies' room.
140
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:58,724
Hmm.
141
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:01,293
Hey, heather, I hope
threepeat warned you.
142
00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:02,994
Mansfield can get
a little intense
143
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,496
In these morning meetings.
144
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,465
Especially after he sees
our numbers
145
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:07,666
From the chicago office.
146
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,301
They suck.
(chuckles) oh...
147
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:10,969
I'll just follow your lead.
(giggles)
148
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,105
(under breath)
I will eat your lunch.
149
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,411
Gentlemen, lady...
150
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,448
I want to take this
opportunity to welcome
151
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,618
The newest member of our team--
heather doyle.
152
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:30,789
Despite what you may have read
in a certain financial magazine,
153
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,592
I think you'll find
this environment is not, quote,
154
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:35,360
"so high in testosterone,
155
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:38,497
You might as well be working
inside of a testicle."
156
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:43,435
Pleasure to be here, sir.
Lovely to have you.
157
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:45,404
Mr. Moyer, are the numbers in
from our chicago office?
158
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,973
Uh, yes, I am afraid so.
159
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,941
Huh.
160
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,477
(forced laugh) huh...
(inhales sharply)
161
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:54,780
Gosh, it seems these people
162
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,982
Have lost me
a great deal of money.
163
00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:01,353
Such is our business.
(claps hands)
164
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:04,956
Mr. Mansfield, given the chicago
office's poor performance,
165
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,726
Perhaps they're in need
of more oversight.
166
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,594
"perhaps"?
(chuckles) mm-hmm.
167
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,632
Perhaps you're right.
(chuckles) mm-hmm.
168
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,635
Perhaps, perhaps,
perhaps, perhaps.
169
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:21,773
(high-pitch voice, giggles)
ah, it's a beautiful day!
170
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,378
You never diversify
mezzanine c.D.O.S
171
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:28,447
In exchange-traded
market segments!
172
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,082
Yeah, it's like trying
to monetize credit swaps
173
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,517
In the derivatives market.
174
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,085
(forced laugh)
(laughing) totally!
175
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,921
I mean, if you want
to incentivize me,
176
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:38,557
Don't collateralize
my bonds, am I right?
177
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,158
(laughing)
(forced laughing)
178
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,893
Speaking of which,
179
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:46,064
Is anybody gonna eativize
that eggplant? Ha ha!
180
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:49,067
'cause you guys were using
"ize" words.
181
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:52,637
Sorry, jenny, these are
just inside jokes.
Oh.
182
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,673
(laughs) it's okay.
We have inside jokes, too,
183
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,641
Like... (laughs)
this one time,
184
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,044
I laughed so hard
that I farted.
185
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:06,084
It wasn't a big one,
though--
please don't.
186
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,053
Okay.
187
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:11,723
Well, anyway, we should
do this again soon.
Yeah, totally.
188
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,425
Yeah, hey, how about tonight?
189
00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:15,494
What? No, tonight's
our karaoke night.
190
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,562
It's--it's kind of our thing.
Yeah.
You should totally come.
191
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,598
Oh, I don't want
to intrude.
Oh, no!
192
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,434
Hey, it'd be fun to get together
outside of the office.
193
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:24,436
You're cool!
Yeah, she's cool.
194
00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:25,971
(laughs) yeah. I'm cool.
195
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,572
(elevator bell dings)
196
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:32,677
Hey, heather, I think we got off
on the wrong foot yesterday.
197
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,946
Oh, thank you!
Is this soy?
198
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,715
Uh, no, it's not.
Oh.
199
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,550
Because it's mine.
200
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,619
Uh, but I suppose
I could zip down
201
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:43,154
And grab you another one.
Great! Extra hot
and two stevias.
202
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:46,191
Oh, and while you're down there,
would you mind...
203
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,893
Dropping off
my dry cleaning?
204
00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:49,227
You got it.
205
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:52,130
(forced laugh)
what am I doing?
206
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:58,069
♪ he took the last train
for the coast ♪
207
00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,504
♪ the day
208
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,240
♪ the music died
209
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,876
I'll tell you what's killing
music--illegal downloads.
210
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,645
I'll tell you...
211
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,581
That and that bieber kid.
What's his deal, huh? (laughs)
212
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:13,084
But anyways...
♪ bye-bye, miss american...
213
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,987
Jobs, because they're
going to china.
214
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,522
To china!
215
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,190
Look at me!
216
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,893
You guys are great.
I love you so much. Thank you.
217
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,795
(booing)
218
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,163
Oh, boo!
219
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,032
I love your hatred!
I bathe in it!
220
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,800
It makes my beard grow!
221
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:32,170
Man, that heather is fine!
222
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,172
If I knew business schools
had girls like that,
223
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,141
I would have went there,
majored in accounting,
224
00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:38,310
And taxed that ass!
225
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:41,046
You okay, boo?
226
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,981
Look, I know that I can't
compete with heather,
227
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,683
You know,
in the business world,
228
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,284
But that's why
I invited her tonight.
229
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,853
'cause here, surrounded by
friends in a bar
230
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:51,256
That smells like old beer
and hot wings
231
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,659
And just a hint of urine--
this is my house!
232
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,194
Amen.
233
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:57,796
(laughs)
jenny, jenny, jenny,
234
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,631
Jenny, jenny, jenny,
jenny, jenny.
235
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,800
If you love someone,
set them free.
236
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,702
If they hook up
with an ex-girlfriend
237
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,136
And they start a family,
238
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:08,073
Well, then I was always yours
to begin with.
239
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:11,576
Okay, I got you a beer,
and the songbook,
240
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,244
And what is that on page 9?
241
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,180
Is that
"islands in the stream"?
(gasps)
242
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:18,316
Oh, that is
what we are, babe.
Oh, yeah.
243
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:21,920
You're not gonna believe
what song I picked.
244
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,822
Is it "bitch, meet my fist"?
245
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:29,928
Think... Second year
finals party.
246
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,796
(laughing) oh, my god!
You didn't!
247
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:32,998
I did.
You didn't.
248
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,799
I did.
You did not.
249
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,202
I--
I feel like she probably did.
(laughs nervously)
250
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,903
("baby one more time" playing)
I can't believe
you did this.
251
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:41,072
Do you mind if I steal him?
Nope. Go. Ha ha.
252
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,841
It's just something goofy
we used to do.
253
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,843
I love goof. (forced laugh)
254
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,712
♪ oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ oh
255
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,914
♪ oh, baby, baby
256
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,984
♪ how was I supposed
to know ♪
257
00:10:54,286 --> 00:10:57,956
♪ that something
wasn't right, yeah? ♪
258
00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,991
♪ oh, baby, baby
259
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:05,597
♪ I shouldn't have let
you go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
260
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:08,199
♪ and now you're
out of sight ♪
♪ yeah
261
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:11,636
♪ my loneliness
is killing me ♪
262
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,138
♪ and I
263
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:17,275
♪ I must confess
I still believe ♪
264
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:18,910
♪ still believe
265
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:22,013
♪ when I'm not with you
I lose my mind ♪
266
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:26,151
♪ give me a sign
267
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,620
♪ hit me, baby,
one more time ♪
268
00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:31,056
(music stops)
(cheers and applause)
269
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:34,292
(harvard) all right!
(cheering continues)
270
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,094
Get married! Get married!
271
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,402
Hey, there you are.
272
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,137
After you slipped out
last night, I called you
273
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,906
A bunch of times and it went
straight to voicemail.
274
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,274
I think your phone's broken.
275
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,875
Hmm, yeah, it's doing
this really weird thing
276
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,812
Where when I see it's you
calling, I hit "ignore."
277
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,147
Okay, so you're mad
at me?
278
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,650
Mad? Mad... At you? (laughs)
why would I be mad at you?
279
00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:00,685
Because you spent all
last night singing duets
280
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,187
With your ex-girlfriend?
281
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:03,755
She's pitchy,
by the way.
282
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,724
(chuckles) what?
No, she's not.
283
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:09,160
No! No, she's not!
284
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,428
Hold on.
I don't understand.
285
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,063
You said it was okay
if I sang with her.
286
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,698
Well, yeah,
but I didn't realize
287
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,366
You were gonna
put on a concert.
288
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,202
Three songs? Come on!
289
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:20,071
Actually, we sang
four songs.
290
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,974
Four? You--you've never sang
four songs with me.
291
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,243
We usually do two, and then
you get tired halfway through
292
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,246
And I have to finish
by myself.
293
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,148
Look, I was drunk.
It happened so fast.
294
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,383
I was thinking of you
the whole time!
Oh, please!
295
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:34,919
Hey! You're the one
who invited heather.
296
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,888
Yeah, I did, because
I wanted to show her
297
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,957
How good we were together,
and instead,
298
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,860
She showed me how good
you guys are together.
299
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,729
I mean, better than good.
You're perfect together.
300
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:46,264
Everyone in the whole place
saw it.
301
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,433
Why did you guys even
break up in the first place?
302
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,835
Well, it was obvious
it wasn't gonna work out.
303
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:52,704
Why not?
304
00:12:52,706 --> 00:12:54,773
You know, because we both moved
to different cities
305
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,174
After we graduated.
306
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,742
(laughing)
wow, there's just...
307
00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,477
No way to overcome that one.
308
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,279
Oh, wait a minute,
there is one way--
309
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,981
Like if she moved here!
310
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,183
Okay, you know what?
It wasn't just that.
311
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,851
She was so competitive.
312
00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:09,053
She and I were always
fighting over closet space.
313
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,925
You lived together?
314
00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:17,862
I'm sorry,
what... Was that?
315
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,197
Brody, brody, brody.
316
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,932
Just look me in the eye
right now
317
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:24,169
And tell me that she is not
exactly the kind of woman
318
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:26,204
That you always
envisioned yourself with.
319
00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,275
Ugh... You're perfect
together.
320
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,043
You guys have everything
in common.
321
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:35,013
You know, your ambition
and your business suits,
322
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:37,448
And let's not forget
your precious harvard!
323
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,250
What?
Not you!
324
00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,358
Well, these are some pretty
impressive résumés.
325
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,893
Well, they should be.
They're 40 of the best
326
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,029
Female money managers
in the country.
327
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,831
Lookit, the days of this place
328
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,767
Being a men's locker room
are over.
329
00:13:55,769 --> 00:13:58,036
So no more post-deal
ass slapping?
330
00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:00,305
Regretfully, no.
331
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:03,274
I-I can't slap a man's ass
in the workplace
332
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,443
And not also slap
a woman's ass,
333
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:08,213
And I can't slap a woman's ass,
so I...
334
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,548
I can't slap any ass!
335
00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:13,885
Look, I gotta confess
to you,
336
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:17,055
This whole experience has been
quite freeing for me.
337
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:20,391
You see, I've managed to tap
into my feminine side.
338
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:25,463
So tell me, how are things
with you in here?
339
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:28,266
(sighs) well, actually,
jenny's...
340
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,268
Feeling threatened
by heather?
341
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,203
Yeah. How did you
know that?
342
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,638
Intuition.
343
00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:38,376
Of course jenny is feeling
threatened by heather.
344
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,445
You and heather are...
345
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:42,046
Well, you're
the perfect merger.
346
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,481
You went to the same
school together,
347
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,149
You speak
the same language--
348
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,885
Hell, you'd spawn a race
of super-children
349
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,353
I'd hire in a minute.
350
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:52,156
On paper, you two are
an ideal match.
351
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:55,026
Well, we did finish
one and two in our class.
352
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,161
I won't say who was number one,
but, you know...
353
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:59,364
I was.
354
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:02,066
Well, if you were so perfect
together, why'd you break up?
355
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,968
Well, we moved
to different cities.
356
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:06,237
(high-pitched whistle)
357
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,972
Wrong!
Okay, I can see
358
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:10,875
You're back in touch
with your masculine side.
359
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:13,978
You broke up with her because
you weren't in love with her.
360
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:17,081
This, uh... This is
a picture of my wife.
361
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,616
You can look at it
long enough
362
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,318
To see how beautiful
she is,
363
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,153
But not so long
that it gets awkward.
364
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,155
And that should
do the trick.
365
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:28,326
Let me ask you,
do you--
366
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,495
Do you think our relationship
was made any easier
367
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,230
By the fact
that we were both
368
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:34,933
Powerful investment bankers
when we got started?
369
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,334
Yes.
370
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,902
She didn't even have
a bank account
371
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,938
When we got started.
372
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,472
We had nothing in common.
373
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,942
She was a painter,
and I was...
374
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,377
Well, I was impressive.
375
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:49,247
See this painting?
376
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:52,250
This painting is--
is one of hers.
377
00:15:54,219 --> 00:15:56,321
The yellow splotch
on gray.
378
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:59,624
Yes. She calls it
"yellow splotch on gray."
379
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,526
Right.
380
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,494
You know what this
painting means?
381
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,664
Uh, well, I'm guessing the gray
could represent hopelessness,
382
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:10,401
And I'm thinking the yellow
splotch can be an egg.
383
00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:13,204
No.
384
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,406
It means I love my wife.
385
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,975
And every time I look
at this painting,
386
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,110
I'm reminded of just how much
I do love her.
387
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:23,147
You understand, on paper,
we had nothing in common.
388
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,717
But god knows, you don't fall
in love on paper, do you, son?
389
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,420
(pats back)
uh, I gotta go.
390
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:34,392
Holy smokes.
391
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:36,194
I think that is an egg.
392
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,103
Uh, we are closed.
393
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,038
Yeah, I just--
I wanna talk to jenny.
394
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,573
Well, I don't want
to talk to you.
395
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,375
Step off, bitch.
396
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:55,346
Listen, I screwed up,
and I'm really sorry.
397
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,982
But you are the only
person in the world
398
00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,018
That I want to sing with.
399
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,020
Oh, brody, don't.
400
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,655
Yeah. Karaoke is over,
as are you two,
401
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,191
So let's get out of here,
guys.
402
00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:13,064
♪ right from the start
403
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:16,667
♪ you were a thief,
you stole my heart ♪
404
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:20,471
♪ and I your willing victim
405
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:24,108
(singsongy)
no one's listening!
406
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:29,714
♪ I let you see the parts of me
that weren't all that pretty ♪
407
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:33,751
♪ and with every touch
you fixed them ♪
408
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,723
(exhales)
409
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,191
(chuckles)
410
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:45,763
♪ now you've been
talking in your sleep ♪
411
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,432
♪ oh, oh
412
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:51,369
♪ things you never say to me
413
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:52,703
♪ oh, oh
414
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:56,574
♪ tell me that you've had
enough ♪
415
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,277
♪ of our love
416
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:03,081
♪ our love
417
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,383
♪ just give me a reason
418
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,785
♪ just a little bit's enough
419
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:11,556
♪ just a second, we're not
broken, just bent ♪
420
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,392
♪ and we can learn
to love again ♪
421
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,394
♪ it's in the stars
422
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:19,263
♪ it's been written
in the scars on our hearts ♪
423
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:22,066
♪ that we're not broken,
just bent ♪
424
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:25,837
♪ and we can learn
to love again ♪
425
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:30,408
♪ and we can learn
to love again ♪
426
00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:43,788
So, the place downstairs
couldn't get the stain out,
427
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,724
But I found a place
in jackson square that could.
428
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,729
So, uh, if there's
nothing else...
429
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,832
Go ahead.
Good work today.
430
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,201
Yes! What?
(giggles)
431
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:01,439
Heather, could I speak
with you for a moment?
432
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,541
Oh.
I, uh, I just want
to tell you
433
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,510
What a delight it's been
to have you with us here
434
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,111
The last couple of days,
and I sure hope
435
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,447
Nothing has prevented you
from feeling comfortable
436
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,617
While you've been here.
Can I speak frankly, sir?
437
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,685
Sure. I wish you would.
I took this job
438
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,787
Because I heard you were
a hard-ass boss
439
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:19,190
Who would push me to be
the best that I could be,
440
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,259
And you're treating me like
some kind of princess,
441
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,227
And it's bullshit!
442
00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,730
No wonder the chicago office
is going in the crapper.
443
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:29,500
I feel like I'm the only one
in this company with balls!
444
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,838
That's fantastic!
445
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,642
How, uh...
446
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:40,111
How would you like to run
my chicago office for me?
447
00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:42,213
I'd love to.
Good.
448
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,748
You start Monday.
(gasps)
449
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,683
Oh... One other thing.
450
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,251
Please don't confuse me
451
00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:49,620
With some jackass
you meet out in the street.
452
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:52,723
I am your boss, so watch
your (bleep) mouth.
453
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,326
Go get 'em!
454
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:01,832
(laughing)
a toast
to the chicago office!
455
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,267
Hear, hear!
Whoo!
456
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:05,303
Mmm.
Why do you have to go?
457
00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:08,906
("locked out of heaven"
playing)
guys, let's go. We're up.
458
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,741
Whoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Ooh!
459
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,543
Oh! I love this song!
460
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,645
Heather, get your cute butt
up here.
461
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,247
Yes!
462
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:19,283
♪
463
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:20,751
Let's kill this.
Let's go.
464
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,753
Okay, that's not
gonna happen.
465
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,255
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
466
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,857
♪ I never had much
faith in love ♪
467
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,893
♪ or miracles
468
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,695
Great job, babe.
♪ huh
469
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:34,765
♪ I never wanna put
my heart on the line ♪
470
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,634
♪
471
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,369
♪ huh
472
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:42,306
♪ swimming in your water
is something spiritual ♪
473
00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:44,208
♪ ooh, oh, oh
♪ huh
474
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:48,846
♪ I'm born again every time
you spend the n-I-I-ight ♪
475
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,681
♪ ...I-I-ight
♪ huh
476
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,718
♪ 'cause your sex takes me
to paradise ♪
477
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,188
♪ yeah, your sex takes me
to paradise ♪
478
00:20:57,190 --> 00:21:00,791
♪ and it sho-o-ows
479
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:03,527
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah
480
00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:05,730
♪ 'cause you make me feel like
481
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:08,833
♪ I've been
locked out of heaven ♪
482
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,704
♪ for too long
483
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,641
♪ for too lo-o-ong