1 00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:04,538 . 2 00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:05,706 [alarm sounding] 3 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:12,346 [Audra Mae and the Almighty Sound's Won't Grow Up] 4 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,682 - [groans] 5 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,317 OH. 6 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:21,189 * 7 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,691 OH! AH! 8 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:27,061 - * I'M BORED OF THESE PILLS 9 00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:30,264 * DOG TIRED OF DRIVING HALFWAY ACROSS TOWN * 10 00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:33,067 * JUST TO SIT STILL 11 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,503 * I'M GOING MY WAY 12 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,372 * I'M GONNA LET LOOSE 13 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:40,274 * NO I DON'T CARE 14 00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:41,542 * LETTING DOWN MY HAIR 15 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,612 * LETTING GO OF MY BALLOON 16 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,780 * WELL I'LL FOLLOW THIS ROAD 17 00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,416 * WHEREVER IT TAKES ME 18 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:49,617 * I WON'T GROW UP 19 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:50,818 * AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME 20 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:59,059 * 21 00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:10,604 - SUPERIOR COURT IS NOW IN SESSION. 22 00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:13,807 THE HONORABLE REBECCA WRIGHT 23 00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:19,547 JUDGE PRESIDING. 24 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,116 - YES! 25 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:24,818 AHEM. 26 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,420 - OH, COME ON. ARE YOU SERIOUS? - GO ON, TAKE IT. 27 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:27,688 - WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT? 28 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:28,689 - I DON'T KNOW. BE GLAD THAT IT'S NEGATIVE. 29 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,424 I AM. COME ON. - OH, GOD. 30 00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,525 - GO. 31 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:33,294 PLEASE BE SEATED. DO IT QUIETLY. 32 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,362 I'VE GOT A HEADACHE. 33 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,597 CAN SOMEBODY GET ME SOME GATORADE? 34 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,600 [rock music] 35 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:44,372 - CASE NUMBER 34HC710, STATE Vs. MR. DOUGLAS RILLER. 36 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,807 WE ARE HERE TO CONSIDER THE BAIL REQUEST 37 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,876 FOR MR. RILLER, WHO'S ACCUSED OF TWO CHARGES 38 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,744 OF BIGAMY, MULTIPLE COUNTS OF FRAUD, 39 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:53,514 AND ONE COUNT OF FALSIFYING IDENTITY. 40 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:56,517 APPEARS AS THOUGH HOTSHOT HERE HAD TWO FAMILIES AT ONCE. 41 00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,619 YOU'RE THE PLAYER WHO LIKES TO PLAY, MR. RILLER. 42 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,188 HOW DO YOU ANSWER TO THESE CHARGES? 43 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,822 - NOT GUILTY, YOUR HONOR. 44 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,392 I LOVE THEM ALL EQUALLY. 45 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:05,393 HOW CAN LOVE BE A CRIME? 46 00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:07,295 - WELL, YOU'VE CLEARLY NEVER BEEN TO THAILAND. 47 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,796 TRIAL DATE WILL BE SET AND BAIL-- 48 00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:11,165 - YOUR HONOR, WE HAVE EXPERT TESTIMONY 49 00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,367 THAT MR. RILLER IS A FLIGHT RISK, 50 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,568 AND ASK THAT BAIL BE DENIED. 51 00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,637 - REALLY, TOM? HE'S GOT NO PRIORS. 52 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:17,938 YOU WANT TO DO THIS? - YEAH. 53 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,006 I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS. 54 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:22,443 I'D LIKE TO CALL DR. GARY BOYD TO THE WITNESS STAND. 55 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,481 - HELLO, DR. BOYD. 56 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:29,583 - HELLO, JUDGE WRIGHT. 57 00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:33,254 - SO, DR. GARY BOYD, 58 00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,389 IN YOUR EXPERT OPINION, AS ONE OF THE MOST 59 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:38,326 PROMINENT PSYCHIATRISTS IN THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA, 60 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:42,396 DOES THE ACCUSED POSE AN UNDUE RISK OF FLIGHT? 61 00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:44,298 - ALL RIGHT, COUNSELOR, A WORD. 62 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:46,367 - RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. 63 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,601 - YOU KNOW THIS IS JUST TO DETERMINE IF ROMEO HERE 64 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:50,238 IS A FLIGHT RISK, NOT AN AUDITION FOR A FEW GOOD MEN? 65 00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:52,640 - SORRY IF MY QUESTIONING DOESN'T WORK FOR YOUR HANGOVER, 66 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:53,874 BUT IT'S PROTOCOL. - YEAH? 67 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,343 ARE TIGHT PANTS PART OF YOUR PROTOCOL TOO? 68 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,877 - THESE PANTS ARE FITTED. 69 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,879 - ALL RIGHT, JUST LAY OFF THE GRANDSTANDING, TOM, ALL RIGHT? 70 00:02:58,912 --> 00:02:59,713 AND LET YOUR JUNK BREATHE. 71 00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:01,349 YOU MAY WANT TO HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY. 72 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:03,584 - MY EYES ARE UP HERE. 73 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,519 - [clears throat] DR. BOYD, CARRY ON. 74 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:08,256 - YOUR HONOR, MR. RILLER IS A VERY REAL FLIGHT RISK 75 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,824 WHO SHOWS CLASSIC SOCIOPATHIC TENDENCIES. 76 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,761 HE CONSISTENTLY ESTABLISHES INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS, 77 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,330 AND THEN FLEES WHEN THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES. 78 00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,832 MR. RILLER'S ALSO QUITE CHARMING. 79 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,268 HE ALREADY HAS A DATE WITH HIS LAWYER. 80 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,970 - I OBJECT. THAT IS A WORK DINNER. 81 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,438 - AND KARAOKE. 82 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:25,239 - [bangs gavel] OVERRULED. 83 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,975 MR. RILLER, ARE YOU A FLIGHT RISK? 84 00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,977 - YOUR HONOR, ABSOLUTELY NOT. 85 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:33,347 I AM A FAMILY MAN WITH DEEP ROOTS IN THIS COMMUNITY. 86 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:34,648 ASK EITHER OF MY WIVES. 87 00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,550 - JUST ANSWER ONE QUESTION. 88 00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:39,353 DOES AIR AVIANCA FLY NONSTOP TO COSTA RICA? 89 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:40,721 - DON'T ANSWER THAT. - ONLY IF YOU TAKE THE 10:20, 90 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,956 OTHERWISE THERE'S A LAYOVER IN MEXICO CITY. 91 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,925 OH. - SOMEONE'S BEEN LOOKING 92 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:47,728 INTO TRAVEL TO THE ONLY COUNTRY IN THIS HEMISPHERE 93 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,430 WITHOUT A U.S. EXTRADITION POLICY. 94 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,599 BAIL IS DENIED. [bangs gavel] 95 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:52,600 - BOO-YAH! 96 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,336 - DR. BOYD, A WORD WITH YOU IN MY CHAMBERS. 97 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:56,337 - YES, YOUR HONOR. 98 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,406 [both moaning] 99 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,474 - THREE TIMES ON YOUR DESK IN ONE MONTH? 100 00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,810 NICE. - WELL, THREE TIMES EVER. 101 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,378 WELL, EXCEPT FOR OUR WORLD CUP HOOKUP. 102 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:05,913 OH, WAIT, THE OTHER NIGHT TOO. 103 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,449 - THERE WAS NO WORLD CUP HOOKUP WITH YOU AND ME. 104 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,750 - NO, REALLY? 105 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,319 - NOPE. SORRY. 106 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,354 - WHOA. ARE YOU SURE? 107 00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:14,355 - OKAY, YEAH. THAT WAS US. 108 00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,690 - GARY! [laughs] 109 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:19,693 OH. - UH, WHAT'S--WHAT'S THAT? 110 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:22,430 - OH, THAT IS A BOX THAT ONCE CONTAINED A PREGNANCY TEST. 111 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,332 - MM-HMM, NO, I GET THAT. BUT HEY, WE USE-- 112 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:25,899 WE USE CONDOMS EVERY TIME, RIGHT? 113 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,502 - YOU ARE CORRECT, SIR. 114 00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:30,704 ARE YOU DOING SEX MATH? - I AM. 115 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,440 SO YOU--YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH OTHER PEOPLE, 116 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,574 OR IT'S JUST YOU AND ME, 117 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,744 AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE PREGNANT WITH MY--WHOA, OKAY. 118 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:40,514 - NO, BUT YES, IN THAT YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY YOU, YOU KNOW. 119 00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:42,316 - I DO, I DO. I'M A PRETTY EVOLVED CAT. 120 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:43,817 IT'S ALL GOOD. HEY, LET'S GO BACK TO THAT, 121 00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:46,687 UM, PREGNANCY TEST THING FOR A SEC. 122 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,456 NEGATIVE, RIGHT? - YES. 123 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,391 - HEY, YOUR HONOR--OH, DAMN! - HEY. 124 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:52,926 - DA-HA-HA-MN. NOT BAD, YOUR HONOR. 125 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,528 NOT BAD AT ALL. 126 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,764 AND, DR. BOYD, HEY, YOU BEEN IN THE GYM? 127 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,832 TWO-A-DAYS? YOU LOOK GOOD, MAN. 128 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,501 - WE WERE JUST REENACTING A CASE SCENARIO. 129 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,569 - YEAH. - MM-HMM, YEAH, A CASE. 130 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:02,436 I KNOW THAT CASE. 131 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:04,405 I'VE SEEN IT LATE-NIGHT ON CINEMAX. 132 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:05,906 - OH, WHICH ONE? WITNESS FOR THE SEXECUTION 133 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,641 OR SEQUESTER SISTERS? 134 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:10,411 WAIT, NO, I REMEMBER. JUROR'S BOX. 135 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,446 - THE JU-- HEY, KEEP THIS DUDE AROUND. 136 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,348 - ALL RIGHT, TEDWARD, WHAT DID YOU WANT? 137 00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:15,983 - ALL RIGHT, JUDGE HERNANDEZ NEEDS YOU 138 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,985 TO FILE A MOTION FOR HIM BY THE END OF THE DAY, 139 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,821 AND LINCOLN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL IS ON LINE ONE, 140 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,623 MR. ROBBY SHOEMAKER. 141 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,525 - OH, ROBBY. ROBBY, ROBBY, ROBBY. 142 00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:27,428 - I HEARD "LINCOLN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL" FROM OUT IN THE HALL. 143 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,463 DO NOT TAKE THAT CALL. - HI, YOUR HONOR. 144 00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:30,464 OF COURSE I'M GONNA TAKE THE CALL. 145 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:31,632 IT'S WHAT I DO. 146 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,467 HELLO, ROBBY. 147 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:36,003 OKAY, DUDE, TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU 148 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,406 THAT YOU HAVE NO LEVERAGE, ALL RIGHT? 149 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:39,940 SO DON'T SAY A THING. YOU'RE TEN YEARS OLD. 150 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:42,410 NOBODY'S GONNA NEGOTIATE WITH YOU, GOT IT? 151 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,411 I'M GONNA BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN. 152 00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,145 - NO, YOU'RE NOT. - BYE. 153 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,580 - THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. 154 00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,148 - SIR, I PUT BOTH OF HIS PARENTS IN PRISON. 155 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,683 IF THE KID NEEDS A LITTLE 156 00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,084 LEGAL SOMETHING-SOMETHING, I'M GONNA HELP HIM. 157 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:53,687 HIS MOTHER IS 18 MONTHS CLEAN AND SOBER. 158 00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:54,922 - IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT. 159 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:55,923 - SO WORK IT. YOU'RE WORTH IT. 160 00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,425 - KEEP COMING BACK. ALTHOUGH, YOU KNOW WHAT? 161 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,826 I DID NOT GO BACK. 162 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,961 SIR, SIR, TWO MORE MONTHS. 163 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,796 HIS MOM'S GOT TWO MORE MONTHS ON HER SENTENCE, 164 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,465 AND HE'S TEN YEARS OLD. 165 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:07,501 - YOUR JOB IS TO CLEAR CASES FOR THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA. 166 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,737 IS THIS KID MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA? 167 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,038 - WELL, HE'S NOT LESS IMPORTANT. 168 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,974 - MM, DAMN. - NICE! 169 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,476 - WHAT? 170 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,881 - WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY? 171 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,450 - I KNEW YOU'D COME, 172 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:23,851 'CAUSE YOU FEEL GUILTY. 173 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,753 - THAT WAS A MANDATORY SENTENCING, 174 00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:28,055 AND IT WAS NOT MY FAULT. 175 00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:30,190 [sighs] 176 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,960 WELL, I'M HERE. 177 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,629 MIGHT AS WELL WORK MY MAGIC. 178 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:36,697 WHAT ARE THE CHARGES? 179 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,166 - I DREW A PICTURE OF MY P.E. TEACHER, MR. PEMBERT. 180 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,834 - MM-HMM. 181 00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,636 - WITH BIG-ASS BOOBIES. - [chuckles] 182 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:43,537 I MEAN, WERE THEY LIKE-- 183 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:46,474 - PRINCIPAL JOHNSON WILL SEE YOU NOW. 184 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:47,975 - I'M ROBBY SHOEMAKER'S COUNSEL. 185 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,044 - YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T GET RID OF YOUR GUILT 186 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:54,181 BY BUYING ME OFF WITH ICE CREAM, PIZZA, AND CASH. 187 00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,116 - FINE, GIVE IT BACK. - OKAY, YOU CAN BUY ME OFF. 188 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,051 - ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT, DUDE? 189 00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:00,488 BUY YOU OFF? I GOT YOUR SENTENCE REDUCED 190 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:03,123 FROM TWO WEEKS DETENTION TO AN APOLOGY TO YOUR TEACHER. 191 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,625 I MEAN, FRANKLY, YOU SHOULD BE BUYING ME OFF. 192 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,894 - AND YOU HAVE A HICKEY ON YOUR NECK. 193 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:10,197 - I DO NOT HAVE A HICKEY. 194 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,865 OH, MAN, I GOT A HICKEY. 195 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:14,535 THAT MUST BE FROM GARY. 196 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:19,239 ALL RIGHT. 197 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,908 - KEEP GOING TO THE CORNER. 198 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,211 I SERIOUSLY DON'T NEED ALFONSO SEEING A JUDGE DROP ME OFF. 199 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,546 - WHO'S ALFONSO? 200 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,515 - ALFONSO'S A 12-YEAR-OLD KID 201 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,749 WHO CAN ALREADY GROW A BEARD. 202 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,818 HIS HOBBIES INCLUDE BEATING ON ME, 203 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,186 AND WATCHING KUNG-FU MOVIES SO HE CAN FIND NEW WAYS 204 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:37,224 TO BEAT ON ME. 205 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,226 SEE YOU NEXT TIME. - ALL RIGHT. 206 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:41,895 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, NO, THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A NEXT TIME. 207 00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,497 HEY, HEY, HEY. SERIOUSLY. 208 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:44,565 THIS WAS A ONE-TIME THING. 209 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,966 DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN. 210 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,068 - HEY, MAMI. - YOU ALFONSO? 211 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,603 - I'LL BE WHOEVER YOU WANT ME TO BE. 212 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,839 - DAMN, YOU CAN GROW A BEARD, DUDE. 213 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,607 - YOU WANT TO GET SOME PESCE AND SOME WHITE WINE? 214 00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:56,844 - NO, I DO NOT WANT TO DINE WITH YOU, SIR. 215 00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,178 YOU LEAVE ROBBY ALONE. 216 00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,613 YOU HEAR ME? 217 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:03,183 I'M SERIOUS, I WILL CUT YOU. 218 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,255 - I AM OFFICIALLY ASKING YOU NOT TO TAKE THE CALLS 219 00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:10,758 FROM CHILDREN OR SISTERS OR PARENTS OR HUSBANDS 220 00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,192 OF THE PEOPLE YOU LOCK UP. 221 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,227 - OKAY, HOW ABOUT EMAIL? SNAPCHAT? TINDER? 222 00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:15,863 CAN I TAKE THOSE? 223 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,197 - I WISH YOU'D RETHINK THIS. 224 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,265 [elevator bell rings] 225 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,167 - I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 226 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:24,705 . 227 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:25,372 - * HUMP DE BUMP, DOOP BODU 228 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,241 * HUMP DE BUMP, DOOP BOP 229 00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,943 * HUMP DE BUMP - WHOO! 230 00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,779 OH, OH, SORRY. SORRY, DUDE. 231 00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:34,815 CHILI PEPPERS. INVOLUNTARY, SORRY. 232 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,584 - MORNING, JUDGE. - HEY. 233 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:37,851 - WHAT'S UP? YOUR CAFE CON LECHE. 234 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,019 - GRACIAS. 235 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,721 - ONE BREAKFAST BURRITO CON TODO. 236 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,956 - MM-HMM. - HEY, TRY THIS FRESH SALSA. 237 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,825 DON'T WORRY, IT'S MILD. - OH. 238 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,894 - MM-HMM. both: MMM. 239 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,629 - YOU LIKE THAT? - [chokes] 240 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:51,198 MILD? FOR WHO, THE DEVIL? 241 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,600 [coughs] GENE SIMMONS? 242 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,835 I FEEL LIKE I JUST MADE OUT WITH GODZILLA. 243 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,670 IT'S MUY CALIENTE. - [laughs] 244 00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:58,906 - WHOA, OKAY. PERSONAL SPACE, DUDE. 245 00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,641 THAT ONE'S ON YOU. HMM? 246 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:01,775 - WHATEVER. 247 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:02,943 - * HUMP DE BUMP, DOOP BODU 248 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,112 * HUMP DE BUMP, DOOP BOP 249 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,714 * HUMP DE BUMP 250 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,081 - HEY, YOUR HONOR. - WHAT'S HAPPENING? 251 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,917 - YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE THE BACK WAY. 252 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,619 JUDGE HERNANDEZ IS WAITING ON YOU. 253 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:12,953 YOU SHOULD HAVE FILED THAT MOTION. 254 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,255 HE'S "OLD GUY ON THE VERGE OF A ANEURYSM" MAD. 255 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,924 OKAY? HE'S LIKE... 256 00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,926 - YOU KNOW WHAT, I DEAL WITH MENTALLY UNSTABLE CRIMINALS 257 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,628 ALL DAY LONG, AND I'M SURE I CAN HANDLE 258 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,162 A SLIGHTLY IRRITATED JUDGE HERNANDEZ. 259 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,197 - OH, ALL RIGHT. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 260 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,233 - OH. I'M EATING A BOMB-SICLE. 261 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,868 SECURITY SAYS WE HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE TO EAT THEM 262 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,336 BECAUSE IT INVOLVED THE WORD "BOMB." 263 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,771 CRAZY, RIGHT? 264 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:33,841 2014 IS A TRIP. - WORD. 265 00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,242 - LATER. 266 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,177 - WELL, HEY, HEY, HEY. - HEY. 267 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:40,948 - YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO, YOU KNOW... 268 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,950 - WHAT? - ACCIDENTALLY RUN INTO ME LIKE, 269 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,652 "OH, REBECCA, HEY. WHAT'S UP, GIRL?" 270 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,953 - NO, SMITH V. CLARK. 271 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,120 YEAH, TESTIFYING FOR THE DEFENSE. 272 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,656 IF THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU, YOUR EGO. 273 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:49,790 I MEAN, YOUR HONOR. 274 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:50,791 - OUCH. 275 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:51,659 - REALLY? 276 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,627 - NO, I'M JUST KIDDING. I DON'T CARE. 277 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:54,628 DO WHAT YOU WANT. - A LITTLE BIT. 278 00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:55,796 YOU CARE A LITTLE BIT? - UNH-UH. 279 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,364 - COME ON. BURN THROUGH A BOX OF CONDOMS 280 00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,900 AND A JUG OF TEQUILA, YOU'LL COME CRAWLING BACK. 281 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,201 - WHOA-HO, DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH, MY FRIEND. 282 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:04,838 - WE'LL SEE. - OH, COME--COME ON, GARY. 283 00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:06,273 HEY, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, 284 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:09,977 THIS IS YOUR HICKEY! 285 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,680 THAT'S A SONG, YOU GUYS. 286 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:13,814 * IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER * 287 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:14,915 * THIS IS YOUR HICKEY, GARY 288 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,117 * OH, OH 289 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,418 [elevator bell rings] - KNOW THAT THERE WAS A CASE 290 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,687 BACK IN 1983-- 291 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,689 - MM-HMM. - WELL, IF IT ISN'T 292 00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:22,990 LITTLE MISS TRAINWRECK. 293 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,825 - THERE YOU ARE, JUDGE HERNANDEZ. 294 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,026 I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU. 295 00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:29,096 - JUDGE WRIGHT, I SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU TO FILE THAT MOTION. 296 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,097 - I KNOW, SIR. I'M SO SORRY. 297 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,298 I HAD AN EMERGENCY COME UP. 298 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,000 - NO, LYING. SEE, THAT IS A LIE. 299 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,736 SHE WAS OUT THERE HELPING HER AT-RISK YOUTH. 300 00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,337 MIGHT I SUGGEST AN OFFICIAL SANCTION? 301 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,238 [phone rings] 302 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,173 - COULD BE ANY CLOSER TO ME RIGHT NOW? 303 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,341 - SORRY. - OH, SIR, 304 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,342 IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME JUST ONE MOMENT, 305 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:43,744 I'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS CALL. 306 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,913 - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. DO NOT TAKE THAT CALL. 307 00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,682 YOU ARE A JUDGE, NOT A SOCIAL WORKER. 308 00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,884 - FINE, OKAY. BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW, 309 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,687 YOU CAN'T BLAME ROBBY FOR ME NOT FILING THAT MOTION, OKAY? 310 00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:55,956 I WANTED THIS TO BE A SURPRISE--THANK YOU, TOM. 311 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,891 - YOU'RE WELCOME. - BUT I GOT TAPPED 312 00:10:57,925 --> 00:11:00,060 TO GIVE THE DUNHAM LAW COMMENCEMENT SPEECH. 313 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,795 I'VE BEEN KIND OF LOST IN MY SPEECH WRITING. 314 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,396 - OH, YOU'RE THE KEYNOTE? 315 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,298 - I AM. - I'M A TRUSTEE. 316 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,167 - YES, I KNOW THAT, SIR. - I'LL BE THERE. 317 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,468 - I LOOK FORWARD TO IT. - OH, ME TOO. 318 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,938 MAYBE WE SHOULD CAR POOL. I'LL MEET YOU THERE. 319 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,873 LET'S JUST--WE'LL ALL MEET-- I'M GOING TO SEE HIM THERE TOO. 320 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,074 OH, YOU JUST WORMED YOUR WAY 321 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,809 OUT OF NOT FILING THAT MOTION. - YEAH, I DID. 322 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,878 - YOU KNOW, SHE DIDN'T FILE THAT MOTI-- 323 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,312 HE'S GONE. - GOD, YOUR GRASP-- 324 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,782 YOUR GRASP IS ALWAYS JUST EXCEEDING THE REACH. 325 00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,183 OH, OH, OH, THAT MUST SUCK, HUH? [phone rings] 326 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:26,119 OH, LOOK, I GOT A CALL FROM LINCOLN ELEMENTARY. 327 00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,989 I GOT TO TAKE IT. JUDGE WRIGHT. 328 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,323 - [mocking tone] JUDGE WRIGHT. 329 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,159 - I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY JUDGE WRIGHT IS HERE 330 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,761 FOR THIS MEETING. 331 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,262 I MEAN, IT IS AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. 332 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:38,866 - MS. WRIGHT IS A MENTOR AND A VERY IMPORTANT JUDGE. 333 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:40,067 - [belches] 334 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,802 EXCUSE ME, SO SORRY. 335 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,236 I HAD WINE AND CAKE FOR BREAKFAST. 336 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:47,174 SO WHICH GANG RECRUITED ROBBY? 337 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,442 - A GANG? THERE'S BEEN A MISUNDERSTANDING. 338 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:53,213 ROBBY DREW AN OFFENSIVE PORTRAIT. 339 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:56,750 - OKAY, APPARENTLY I WAS MISLED AGAIN. 340 00:11:56,784 --> 00:12:00,387 MAY I SEE THE PICTURE, PLEASE? 341 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,922 OH. 342 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,791 IT'S YOU, MR. THORPE. 343 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,993 EXCEPT YOUR HEAD IS A PENIS. 344 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:08,095 ACTUALLY IT'S VERY GOOD. HE REALLY GOT YOU. 345 00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,396 I MEAN, DID YOU EVALUATE THIS? 346 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:10,931 - I DID EVALUATE IT, YES. 347 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,265 - SO, HERE'S THE STORY. 348 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:15,769 ROBBY IS HAVING A TOUGH TIME IN HIS GROUP HOME. 349 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:17,838 HE'S A VICTIM OF BULLYING AND FIGHTING. 350 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,808 AND SO I'M SURE THIS IS JUST A CRY OUT FOR ATTENTION. 351 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,475 RIGHT, ROBBY? - NO. 352 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,878 I JUST THINK MR. THORPE'S HEAD LOOKS LIKE A DONG. 353 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,046 - THAT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE! 354 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,548 - MR. THORPE, CAN WE JUST LOOK AT THIS 355 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:32,052 AS AN ARTISTIC EXPRESSION OF A FRUSTRATED CHILD 356 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,954 WHO WOULD BENEFIT MORE FROM GUIDANCE 357 00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,389 AND UNDERSTANDING RATHER THAN PUNISHMENT? 358 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,358 - I DON'T LIKE IT. - I UNDERSTAND. 359 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:41,962 - I REALIZE I HAVE AN ODDLY SHAPED HEAD. 360 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,296 BUT I'M SENSITIVE ABOUT IT. 361 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,832 - MR. THORPE, I UNDERSTAND, 362 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:48,501 AND IF YOU'LL JUST LET ME TAKE CARE OF THIS, 363 00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:50,938 I PROMISE YOU IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. 364 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,472 THANKS SO MUCH, AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO JUST CONSIDER 365 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,174 SWITCHING YOUR PART. 366 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,542 MIGHT HELP COVER THE CURVATURE. 367 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:56,576 - OKAY, THANK YOU. - ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 368 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,812 - I'D BE HAPPY TO DO PORTRAITS OF YOUR FAMILY. 369 00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:02,515 - ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH. - OH, COME ON NOW. 370 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:03,783 [grunts] 371 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,865 - FIRST OFF, YOU GOT TO STOP LYING TO GET ME TO SHOW UP. 372 00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,566 IT'S NOT COOL. 373 00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:22,069 SECOND, YOU GOT TO NOTIFY THE HEAD OF THE GROUP HOME, 374 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,370 DOCUMENT THE BULLYING, 375 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,873 AND THEN FILE A POLICE REPORT. 376 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,044 ALL RIGHT. 377 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,413 WHEN THIS KID ALFONSO COMES AT YOU, 378 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,916 YOU HOLD UP YOUR HANDS LIKE YOU'RE AFRAID TO FIGHT. 379 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,085 LIKE THAT, RIGHT? AND THEN BOOM! 380 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:41,621 YOU PUNCH HIM IN THE NOSE AS HARD AS YOU CAN. 381 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:45,125 NOTHING SCARES A BULLY LIKE SEEING HIS OWN BLOOD. 382 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,928 HMM? - YOU KNOW, 383 00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,562 THAT'S THE BEST ADVICE A GROWN-UP'S GIVEN ME 384 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,932 IN A LONG TIME. 385 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,400 - REALLY? 386 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,235 YOU THINK I'M A GROWN-UP? 387 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,237 - WELL, IF YOU'RE ASKING ME, 388 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,638 THEN YOU REALLY GOT PROBLEMS. 389 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,241 - NICE. 390 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,043 ALL RIGHT, LET ME SEE YOUR RIGHT. 391 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,177 AGAIN, HARDER. 392 00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:05,345 YEAH. 393 00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,214 GET OUT OF MY VAN. 394 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,616 MR. RILLER, BEFORE I PRONOUNCE SENTENCING, 395 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:12,385 IS THERE ANYTHING YOU OR ANYONE ON YOUR BEHALF 396 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,321 WOULD LIKE TO SAY? - YOUR HONOR, 397 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,423 MRS. RILLER AND MRS. RILLER HAVE AGREED 398 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:19,659 TO PETITION THE COURT FOR LENIENCY. 399 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,628 - YOUR HONOR, I KNEW DOUGLAS RILLER 400 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:24,197 AS A LOVING HUSBAND AND FATHER TO MY TWO CHILDREN 401 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:25,899 FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE. 402 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:27,935 - YOUR HONOR, I TOO KNEW DOUGLAS RILLER 403 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:31,404 AS A LOVING HUSBAND AND FATHER TO OUR TWO DOBERMANS. 404 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:35,308 AND ALTHOUGH I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT HIS LIES, 405 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:38,111 I HAVE TO SAY THAT HE'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME 406 00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:41,048 WHEN I'M SICK, AND SUPPORTIVE WHEN I WAS DOWN. 407 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,917 - HE WAS ALSO THERE FOR ME WHEN I WAS SICK, 408 00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,452 AND SUPPORTIVE WHEN I WAS DOWN, 409 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:48,355 EXCEPT FOR A FEW TIMES WHEN SHE WAS SICK AT THE SAME TIME. 410 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,157 THEN IT GOT TRICKY. 411 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,658 - WOW. 412 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,994 I'M SORRY. PLEASE CONTINUE. 413 00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,930 - THE POINT IS DOUGLAS WAS THERE FOR US. 414 00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:57,998 DID HE LIE? 415 00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,067 DID HE DECEIVE? YES. 416 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,535 BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, ISN'T ANY RELATIONSHIP, 417 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,205 ROMANTIC OR OTHERWISE, ABOUT SHOWING UP FOR SOMEONE 418 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,974 OVER AND OVER AGAIN? 419 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:10,210 ABOUT SOMEONE BEING THERE FOR SOMEONE WHEN YOU NEED THEM MOST? 420 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,312 HOW MANY OF US HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED THAT? 421 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,680 WELL, I HAVE. 422 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,582 AND I'M THANKFUL FOR IT. 423 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:19,352 - SO PLEASE, SHOW DOUGLAS MERCY, PLEASE. 424 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,688 - OH, THAT'S-- THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. 425 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:24,124 EFFED UP ALL AT THE SAME TIME. THAT'S KIND OF CRAZY. 426 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,259 - MR. RILLER, I SENTENCE YOU TO TIME SERVED 427 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:28,228 FOR THE CHARGES OF BIGAMY, AND ONE MONTH 428 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,164 FOR THE CHARGE OF FALSIFYING IDENTITY AND FRAUD. 429 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:32,565 ADDITIONALLY I SENTENCE YOU 430 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:35,002 TO TAKE A COURSE IN FEMINISM, 431 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:38,505 THE COLLEGE OF YOUR CHOICE WHILE WEARING THIS T-SHIRT 432 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,073 TO CLASS EVERY DAY. 433 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,976 - WHAT? HOW AM I GONNA PICK UP GIRLS? 434 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:46,546 . 435 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,015 - [muttering] CONGRATULATIONS. 436 00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:50,050 BUT THE EXHILIRATING AND TERRIFYING TRUTH IS THAT-- 437 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,419 [knock at door] NOT NOW, GO AWAY, BAD TIME. 438 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,354 [knocking continues] I SAID GO AWAY. 439 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:55,622 ARE YOU DEAF? 440 00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:03,196 - I PUNCHED ALFONSO LIKE YOU SAID. 441 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:04,431 - DUDE, I MEAN YOUR TIMING-- 442 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,699 YOUR TIMING IS NOT VERY GOOD. 443 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,201 I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING A SPEECH. 444 00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:09,502 I GOT TO GO. - HE'S GOT BROTHERS, 445 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:12,105 AND COUSINS, AND ONE REALLY BIG, 446 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,341 AND I MEAN BIG, BIG SISTER. 447 00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,276 - ALL RIGHT, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO. YOU CALL YOUR CASE WORKER. 448 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,377 ALL RIGHT? TELL HER TONIGHT. 449 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,446 AND THEN I WILL DEAL WITH THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING. 450 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,581 - THEY SAID THEY'RE SENDING ME TO EDGEWATER. 451 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,017 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 452 00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,452 - EDGEWATER? - YEAH. 453 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,254 - NO. EDGEWATER'S AW-- 454 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,756 EDGEWATER IS FOR SUPER, SUPER VIOLENT KIDS. 455 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:31,358 THEY WILL EAT YOU ALIVE. 456 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,460 - YOU TOLD ME TO HIT HIM. - I KNOW. I KNOW I DID, OKAY? 457 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,461 IT'S MY FAULT. I'M GONNA FIX IT. 458 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,029 I'M GONNA FIX IT. 459 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:38,131 - I'LL STAY AT YOUR PLACE. - NO, NO, YOU WON'T. 460 00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:40,267 NOBODY LIVES WITH ME. I MEAN, I DON'T KEEP ANYTHING-- 461 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,434 I KILLED A CACTUS. 462 00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:43,336 - ALL I NEED IS A WARM GARAGE 463 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:45,172 AND A COLD PIZZA. - [sighs] 464 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,440 COME ON, I GOT TO GO. LET'S GO. 465 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,043 ROBBY, HONEY, DUDE, I MEAN, YOU PROBABLY THINK 466 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:51,578 I'M THIS, YOU KNOW, AWESOME JUDGE 467 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,446 WHO HAS IT ALL TOGETHER. - NOPE. 468 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,381 I THINK YOU'RE A MESS. 469 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:55,548 BUT YOU OWE ME ONE. 470 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:58,351 - OH, WHAT I OWE YOU, SIR, BY LAW, 471 00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,453 IS A SUITABLE ENVIRONMENT FOR THE NEXT 58 DAYS 472 00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:01,254 UNTIL YOUR MOM GETS OUT. 473 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:04,057 I AM NOT A SUITABLE ANYTHING, OKAY? 474 00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,492 I'M A WORKAHOLIC FREAKSHOW. 475 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:09,162 I EAT CRAP ALL DAY, I DRINK UNTIL I DROP, YOU KNOW? 476 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,064 I MIGHT BINGE-WATCH LOCK-UP, 477 00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,765 'CAUSE I PUT HALF OF THOSE GUYS IN THERE. 478 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:15,068 I MEAN, SOMETIMES I HAVE TO TIE A ROPE 479 00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:16,436 FROM MY ANKLE TO THE BED 480 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:17,737 'CAUSE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I DO AT NIGHT. 481 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,140 - SO YOU GET TO KEEP WRECKING MY LIFE? 482 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,741 FIRST, YOU PUT MY PARENTS AWAY, 483 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,444 THEN YOU GOT ME KICKED OUT OF A HALFWAY DECENT GROUP HOME, 484 00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:27,847 AND NOW I HAVE TO GO LIVE WITH VIOLENT GUYS? 485 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,449 COME ON, JUDGE. 486 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:33,220 CAN'T YOU JUST PUT ME BACK THE WAY YOU FOUND ME? 487 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,488 - [knocking] 488 00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:38,691 - LET'S JUST STICK TO THE PROTOCOL 489 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,860 THAT WE TALKED ABOUT, AND YEAH, 490 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:41,861 SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. - I NEED A FAVOR. 491 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,096 - ONE SECOND. - YEAH, YEAH. 492 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,097 - DON'T THANK ME, MAN. 493 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:45,398 HEALING IS A TEAM SPORT. 494 00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:46,866 - OKAY, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WATCH YOU PRETEND 495 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,736 TO BE ON THE PHONE WITH PATIENTS. 496 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,271 - YEAH, WELL, YOU DIDN'T EXACTLY CRAWL HERE, 497 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,273 BUT YOU'RE HERE. OH, AND YOU BROUGHT A DATE. 498 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:54,441 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE REALLY TAKING THIS WHOLE COUGAR THING 499 00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:55,642 TO THE NEXT LEVEL. 500 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,478 - ALL RIGHT, ROBBY SHOEMAKER, DR. GARY BOYD. 501 00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,647 I NEED A LETTER FROM AN EXPERT IN THE FIELD 502 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,650 STATING THAT ROBBY IS NOT A VIOLENT CHILD, 503 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:06,386 BUT THAT HE WAS ACTING IN SELF-DEFENSE AGAINST A BULLY 504 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,121 SO THAT HE CAN STAY IN HIS CURRENT GROUP HOME, 505 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,189 AND NOT GET TRANSFERRED TO EDGEWATER. 506 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,623 - OOH, EDGEWATER? YIKES. 507 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:13,226 - 58 DAYS, MAN. IT'S THE HOME STRETCH. 508 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,195 - DO YOU THINK YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF FOR THAT LONG? 509 00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:17,397 - IN MY SLEEP. I'M NOT LIKE THE JUDGE OVER HERE. 510 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,466 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? - RIGHT, LET'S GO. WE'RE LATE. 511 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,134 - GOOD. - THANK YOU. 512 00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:25,472 THE EXHILARATING AND TERRIFYING TRUTH IS THAT 513 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:29,542 NOTHING ADEQUATELY PREPARES YOU FOR HOW IT FEELS 514 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,344 TO UPHOLD THE LAW. 515 00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:32,879 IS THERE A CHANCE THAT YOU WILL BE 516 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,448 SWALLOWED WHOLE BY YOUR JOB? 517 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,784 YES. ABSOLUTELY. 518 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,419 BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU'LL BE USING 519 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,321 THE NEAREST TEASPOON AS YOUR MAKEUP MIRROR, 520 00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:44,257 OR TO ADJUST THE KNOT IN YOUR TIE. 521 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,426 AND IT'S GONNA FREAK YOU OUT AT FIRST, BY THE WAY, 522 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:50,163 BECAUSE NO ONE TELLS YOU THAT YOU APPEAR UPSIDE DOWN 523 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,332 IN A SPOON, BUT YOU DO. 524 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:53,933 AND IT'S AN EXCELLENT REMINDER 525 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:57,404 BECAUSE THE VERY SPIRIT OF THE LAW 526 00:18:57,437 --> 00:19:01,308 IS ABOUT MAKING THINGS RIGHT SIDE UP 527 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:05,345 AND DOING WHATEVER YOU CAN TO KEEP IT THAT WAY. 528 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:10,350 [applause] 529 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,252 - OH, WHAT'S UP? THERE'S MY MAN. 530 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,287 - HEY, WHAT ARE YOU-- NO, HE CAN'T BE IN HERE. 531 00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:15,288 HE UNDERAGED. 532 00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:18,325 - HERE'S MY I.D. 533 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:19,526 - GIVE ME THAT. - LOOKS OFFICIAL TO ME. 534 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:23,596 - OH, WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR MEDICAL DEGREE, DR. LEE TRANG? 535 00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:24,531 - HEY, GUYS. 536 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:27,300 YOU KNOW MARY HARMON FROM CHILD SERVICES? 537 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,336 - YOU GOT HIM IN A BAR, REBECCA? AT 10:00 P.M.? 538 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,903 - I THOUGHT IT WAS 9:30. 539 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:34,374 - AND THIS WILL KEEP ROBBY OUT OF EDGEWATER PERMANENTLY. 540 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:37,410 - NICE. DRINKS ON THE HOUSE, EVERYONE. 541 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:38,578 THE JUDGE IS BUYING. - WHAT? 542 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:39,746 NO, I'M NOT BUYING. 543 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:41,381 I'M NOT BUYING DRINKS. I'M VERY CHEAP. 544 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:42,315 ALL RIGHT, OH, HEY, HEY. 545 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,651 DON'T FORGET THIS, ALL RIGHT? 546 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,753 - THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, JUDGE. - YOU GOT IT. 547 00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:47,754 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, ALL RIGHT? 548 00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:48,588 - OKAY. 549 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:51,458 - AND YEAH, YEAH, CALL ME ANYTIME. 550 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:52,892 ANY TIME AT ALL, ROBBY. 551 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,794 PREFERABLY DURING BUSINESS HOURS. 552 00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:56,829 HEY, HEY, HEY, JUDGE HERNANDEZ. 553 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,298 THAT WAS ROBBY SHOEMAKER. 554 00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,466 YEAH, I KEPT HIM OFF THE STREETS, 555 00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,434 OUT OF JUVIE, TURNS OUT. 556 00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:04,404 THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE THE CALL. 557 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:05,938 - HOW CAN I BE MAD AT YOU 558 00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,407 AFTER THAT GREAT SPEECH YOU GAVE TONIGHT? 559 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,909 - OH. - TRULY. 560 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,378 IN FACT, I'M GONNA BUY YOU A ROUND. 561 00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:12,379 - OH. 562 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:13,780 - ANYTHING YOU LIKE... 563 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:16,516 FROM THE TWO BOTTOM SHELVES. 564 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,718 - BARTENDER, HI. CAN YOU GET THE McALLISTER 24, 565 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,720 THROW THAT ON THE BOTTOM SHELF, GET US A ROUND? 566 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,955 MAKE HERS A DOUBLE. - SEE, GARY? 567 00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,991 THAT IS WHY YOU'RE MY FAVORITE GARY. 568 00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:27,894 WELL, ACTUALLY BUSEY IS. GARY BUSEY'S STRONG. 569 00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,596 BUT YOU'RE SECOND. - BUSEY? HE'S GONNA BEAT ME? 570 00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:32,399 - YES. THANK YOU FOR THE LETTER. 571 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:33,600 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 572 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,802 [The Donnas' Dancing With Myself plays] 573 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,404 - THIS SONG. I LOVE THIS SONG. 574 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,938 - OH! GIVE HER SOME ROOM. GIVE HER A WIDE BERTH, GUYS. 575 00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,540 YOU MIGHT WANT TO GIVE HER SOME PERSONAL SPACE. 576 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,309 - YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. - OH! 577 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,376 - [scatting] - JUDGE, YOU GOTTA STOP THAT. 578 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,411 - ALL RIGHT. 579 00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,379 ACTUALLY, I KIND OF HURT MY NECK. 580 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,680 [laughter] ALL RIGHT. 581 00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:48,781 ANYWAY. HERE'S TO US. 582 00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:50,383 - YEAH! - HEY! 583 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,451 - * DANCING WITH MYSELF 584 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:52,619 * OH OH OH 585 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,521 * DANCING WITH MYSELF 586 00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:55,522 * OH OH OH 587 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,957 * DANCING WITH MYSELF