1 00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:02,636 . 2 00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:03,504 - YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. HOW'S THAT FOR YOU? 3 00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:06,274 - CAN YOU MOVE YOUR HIPS UP A LITTLE? 4 00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,042 YEAH, NOW SQUEEZE HARDER WITH YOUR THIGHS. 5 00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:10,211 I'M A BLACK BELT IN JUJITSU. NOW SQUEEZE! 6 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,779 - OKAY. [laughing] 7 00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:13,314 - THAT'S IT, BABE. - RARR! 8 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,683 - THAT'S IT. YOU GOT IT. 9 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,451 NICE. YOU SEE? 10 00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:20,788 NOW, NICE THING ABOUT A MOVE LIKE THE TRIANGLE 11 00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,357 IS A GIRL LIKE YOU CAN TAKE DOWN A GUY TWICE HER SIZE. 12 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,293 - WHAT IF I'M IN AN ALLEY, AND I'M SERIOUSLY-- 13 00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:27,195 SOMEBODY'S GONNA MUG ME? I NEED A MOVE. 14 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:28,462 - REAR NAKED CHOKE. 15 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:31,132 - WHAT DO YOU GOT? - LET ME SHOW YOU. 16 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,301 HERE. 17 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,336 NICE AND FIRM LIKE THAT-- YOU GRAB THE BICEP. 18 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,138 PUT YOUR OTHER HAND BEHIND THE HEAD... 19 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,472 - UH-HUH. - AND YOU PULL. 20 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:39,473 - OH. 21 00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:40,674 - SQUEEZE. - MM-HMM. 22 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,310 - THAT'S IT. - YEAH, I CAN'T MOVE. 23 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:45,146 THIS IS AWESOME. I'M PANICKING. THIS IS WORKING. 24 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,648 - NOW YOU TRY. - ALL RIGHT. 25 00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,784 - LIKE THAT? - YEAH, NICE AND FIRM-- 26 00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:53,287 GRAB THE BICEP, PUT YOUR OTHER HAND BEHIND MY HEAD. 27 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:55,156 - RIGHT, IT'S HARD TO GET IT AROUND MY BICEP. 28 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:56,290 IT'S PRETTY BIG. - [laughs] 29 00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:57,625 - OKAY. - THAT'S IT. 30 00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,160 - AND THEN LIKE THIS? - YEP. 31 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,329 - ALL RIGHT, WHAT ELSE? WHAT DO YOU GOT? 32 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:02,696 WHAT DO YOU GOT? WHAT DO YOU GOT? 33 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,365 - HOW ABOUT AN INVITATION TO THE FIREMAN'S BALL? 34 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:08,602 WANT TO BE MY DATE, HMM? 35 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:11,172 - [grunts] 36 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,782 OKAY. 37 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,718 UH... 38 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:27,721 [upbeat music] 39 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:35,763 * 40 00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,336 - THE MINUTE HE SAID "FIREMAN'S BALL," I CHOKED, 41 00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:43,871 AND THEN I CHOKED HIM, AND THEN HE PASSED OUT, 42 00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:46,174 AND THEN I WALKED OUT-- THAT'S WHERE WE LEFT IT. 43 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,176 - HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF THE WORD "NO"? 44 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:49,143 IT'S EASY TO USE. WATCH. 45 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:51,745 UH, THANK YOU FOR THE INVITATION, BUT, NO. 46 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,382 - IF I WOULD'VE SAID NO, IT WOULD'VE HURT HIS FEELINGS. 47 00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,450 YOU KNOW, I MIGHT BE TOO NICE. 48 00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:58,252 I WORRY ABOUT THAT SOMETIMES. 49 00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,387 - YEAH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. 50 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:00,621 - THANKS, TEDWARD. 51 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:05,426 - REBECCA--YOUR HONOR, I WAS WONDERING 52 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,529 IF MAYBE WE COULD HAVE A LITTLE TETE-A-TETE, 53 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:11,499 OFF THE RECORD, ABOUT A WOMAN WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN A WAITRESS 54 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,301 AT BJ KNOCKERS. 55 00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,469 - THAT YOU WOULD ASK A JUDGE TO DISCUSS A CASE 56 00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:18,306 RIGHT BEFORE TRIAL IS HIGHLY UNETHICAL, AND YOU KNOW IT, TOM. 57 00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:20,174 - BJ KNOCKERS? 58 00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,276 MAN, HALTER TOPS, SHORT SKIRTS-- 59 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,312 EVEN THE WHITE GIRLS HAVE LONG BROWN LEGS. 60 00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,614 [laughing] IT IS CRAZY. 61 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,183 BUT, YEAH. NAH, LIKE, THAT'S A ROUGH JOB. 62 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,384 - I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE 63 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:33,287 THAT WE'RE ALL UP TO SPEED HERE ABOUT THIS. 64 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:36,324 - SHE CANNOT TALK TO YOU, TOM. 65 00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:37,658 - [snaps fingers] TEDWARD... 66 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,560 TRAVEL WITH ME, IF YOU WILL, TO A PARALLEL UNIVERSE. 67 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,462 [imitates sci-fi music] 68 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,963 WE'RE ON A PLANE. I'M A STRANGER. 69 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,232 YOU FIND OUT THAT I'M A JUDGE. 70 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,966 I'M SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. 71 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,801 YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING YOU WANT. 72 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:48,936 WHAT DO YOU TELL ME? 73 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,305 - I WOULD SAY THAT I DO NOT WANT TO BE STUCK ON A PLANE 74 00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:52,606 NEXT TO A CHATTERBOX. 75 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,275 - NOT ME. TOTAL OPPOSITE-- 76 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,244 LIKE, I MIGHT TELL THIS JUDGE ON THE PLANE 77 00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:59,313 THAT I HAVE A STAR WITNESS IN A SEXUAL-BATTERY CASE 78 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:03,751 WHO HAS A ROOMMATE THAT KEPT A VERY DETAILED DIARY. 79 00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,553 - DO YOU HAVE THE DIARY? 80 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,721 - YEAH. BUT THE WITNESS HAS NOT RESPONDED TO HER SUMMONS. 81 00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,257 - OKAY, WELL, YOU NEED THAT TESTIMONY. 82 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,259 - I KNOW, BUT I THINK THE OWNER, CHAD FORBES, 83 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,593 IS PAYING HER NOT TO TALK. 84 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,462 - MM, IS THE WITNESS-- 85 00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:16,397 HANNAH--IS SHE ANY GOOD ON THE STAND? 86 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,299 - I DON'T KNOW. I'M ON A PLANE. 87 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:22,336 - WELL, FROM WHERE I AM SITTING... 88 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:23,271 ON THE PLANE, 89 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,104 WHICH IS IN SEAT 4-A-- 90 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,540 FIRST CLASS, WARM TOWELS, HOT NUTS, 91 00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,309 A HOT STEWARDESS, A NICE STEWARDESS. 92 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,344 REMEMBER WHEN THEY WERE NICE? - YEP. 93 00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,480 - FROM WHERE I'M SITTING, I WOULD TELL YOU 94 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:35,816 THAT IF YOU CAME INTO MY COURTROOM, 95 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:39,287 I WOULD HAVE YOUR BACK. 96 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,322 - SO WE'RE ON THE SAME SIDE? 97 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,257 YOU AND ME? 98 00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,259 THE EAGLE FLIES AT DAWN. 99 00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:48,296 - CA-CAW! THAT'S MY BEST EAGLE. 100 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:51,332 - AND, UH, BE AWARE. HE USES CHEAP TACTICS. 101 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,334 LIKE, HE'S GOT THIS SUPER-HOT LAWYER 102 00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:56,270 TO ENTICE ALL THE MEN ON THE JURY INTO VOTING HER WAY. 103 00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:58,706 - OH, PLEASE. HOW HOT COULD SHE BE? REALLY? 104 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,775 [The Cars' Moving in Stereo] 105 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:09,417 * 106 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:13,987 - * LIFE'S THE SAME, I'M MOVING IN STEREO * 107 00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:15,823 * LIFE'S THE SAME, EXCEPT-- 108 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,024 - [slurping loudly] 109 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,326 - YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE TO DISMISS 110 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:19,927 JURORS TWO, FOUR, FIVE, SEVEN, AND NINE. 111 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,362 AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH. BYE, LADIES. 112 00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:22,796 - NO. OBJECTION. PERMISSION TO APPROACH. 113 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,365 - PERMISSION GRANTED. 114 00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:26,634 EVERYBODY SIT DOWN, OKAY? MS. SANCHEZ-- 115 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:27,768 - IT'S MISS. 116 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:31,339 - I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL BE DISMISSING JURORS TODAY. 117 00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:34,375 - EAGLE DOWN--SHE'S DISMISSING ALL THE LADY JURORS. 118 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,644 - OKAY, I GOT YOUR BACK, REMEMBER? 119 00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:37,978 GO. SIT. 120 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,483 BEING A JUROR ISN'T JUST YOUR CIVIC DUTY. 121 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:43,684 IT'S FUN. 122 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,653 LOOK, YOU COULD BE AT WORK, BUT YOU'RE HERE. 123 00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:47,455 I WISH I WAS INSIDE THAT BOX. 124 00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,056 I KNOW JUST HOW COMFY THOSE CHAIRS ARE, 125 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,325 COULD ANY OF YOU LEGITIMATELY GIVE A REASON 126 00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:53,494 WHY YOU CAN'T BE HERE? 127 00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,695 WOW. THAT WAS FAST. 128 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:55,496 WHY? 129 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,965 - MY DAD IS BLIND. - CHEMO. SORRY. 130 00:04:57,998 --> 00:05:00,334 - I AM THE RECEPTIONIST AT YOUR DENTIST'S OFFICE, 131 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,403 AND I REFUSE TO BE UNBIASED. 132 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,004 - FINE. 133 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,539 ALL RIGHT, YOU-- WHAT'S YOUR DEAL? 134 00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:07,040 - UM, I'M-- 135 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,676 - JUROR NUMBER NINE STATED THAT HER MOTHER DEALT 136 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:11,545 WITH UNWANTED SEXUAL ADVANCES FOR 17 YEARS. 137 00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,681 SHE'S THEREFORE UNABLE TO REMAIN UNBIASED. 138 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,550 - UM, UH, YOU-- WHAT DID, UH-- 139 00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:20,654 THE LADY, UH, RIGHT THERE WITH THE TYPING AND THE CURLY HAIR, 140 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,357 YEAH, OKAY, JUROR NUMBER NINE, WILL YOU PLEASE KINDLY 141 00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:24,124 APPROACH THE BENCH? 142 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,593 [mouths words] 143 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:30,664 SO WHAT'S YOUR DEAL WITH, LIKE, A HANDSY BOSS? 144 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,700 WHERE DO YOU STAND? - LET'S TAKE HIM OUT. 145 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:36,370 - I FIND THIS JUROR TO BE FAIR AND IMPARTIAL. 146 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:41,909 . 147 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:42,410 - GUESS WHO HAS TACOS. 148 00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:46,580 GIRLFRIEND, SISTER, JUST TYPING AWAY DOWN HERE. 149 00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,882 - ALL RIGHT, I FEEL BADLY. 150 00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,951 I SHOULD KNOW THE STENOGRAPHER'S NAME, OKAY? 151 00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,120 OOH, OOH, OOH, DID YOU TELL HECTOR THAT THIS WAS FOR ME? 152 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,988 HE ALWAYS GIVES ME EXTRA GUAC. 153 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,590 - YOU KNOW, IT'S INTERESTING TO ME 154 00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:58,592 THAT YOU KNOW THE TACO GUY'S NAME. 155 00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:01,128 - WELL, YEAH, BECAUSE HE FEEDS ME, ALL RIGHT? 156 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:03,831 TEDWARD, HECTOR FEEDS ME. 157 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,967 - YOU HAVE THE ENTIRE CALIFORNIA PENAL CODE IN YOUR HEAD, 158 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,969 BUT SHE'S BEEN WORKING HERE FOR OVER A YEAR, 159 00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,571 AND YOU CANNOT REMEMBER HER NAME. 160 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,406 YOU CALLED HER "TYPER LADY." 161 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,974 - OH, COME ON, I CALL YOU "BAILIFF MAN." 162 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,075 PEOPLE CALL ME "JUDGE LADY." 163 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,677 WHAT? COME ON, JUST TELL ME HER NAME. 164 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,512 - YOU'LL HAVE TO ASK HER YOURSELF. I'M NOT-- 165 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:20,614 AND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH BILLY WITH THE CHILI? 166 00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:21,682 - I TOLD HIM THAT 167 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,785 THAT, UH, FAKE FIREMAN/JUDGE NO-DATING ORDINANCE 168 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:25,919 HAD BEEN LIFTED. 169 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,788 WHAT? DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK, OKAY? 170 00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,457 I WAS ALONE WITH A BOTTLE OF REPOSADO, 171 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,158 AND HIS PHONE NUMBER IS ONLY THREE DIGITS LONG. 172 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,427 - WELL, HE'S CALLED HERE TWICE THIS MORNING. 173 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,663 - IT'S 'CAUSE I'M AVOIDING HIS TEXTS ABOUT THE FIREMAN'S BALL. 174 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,531 - YOU HAVE AVOIDANCE ISSUES. 175 00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:40,434 ANYTIME YOU THINK SOMETHING'S GONNA BE AWKWARD OR PAINFUL... 176 00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:42,870 - MM-HMM. - YOU AVOID IT. 177 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,072 - GOD, HOW DO THEY MAKE THESE TORTILLA SO SOFT 178 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,574 AND YET SO STRONG? 179 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,075 - JUST LIKE--IT IS SO GOOD. 180 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,177 NO, NO. SEE, YOU'RE DOING IT. 181 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,080 LOOK, YOU DON'T WANT TO HURT THE FIREMAN, SO YOU AVOID HIM. 182 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,082 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE STENOGRAPHER'S NAME, 183 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,684 SO YOU AVOID HER. 184 00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,786 YOU HAVEN'T EVEN DEALT WITH THE DEATH OF YOUR VAN. 185 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,555 - FINE. FINE. I'LL START WITH THE STENOGRAPHER. 186 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:04,024 WHAT'S HER NAME? - UH, NO. NICE TRY. 187 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,493 AHA. NICE TRY. 188 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,628 - GOSH, I JUST-- 189 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:08,729 I HATE MYSELF FOR THIS, 190 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,931 BUT FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I CANNOT REMEMBER YOUR NAME. 191 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,666 I KNOW WE HAVE NEVER BEEN INTRODUCED. 192 00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,935 - OH, NO, WE'VE BEEN INTRODUCED, BUT IT'S OKAY. 193 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:18,005 UM, IT STARTS WITH A "J." 194 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:21,775 - "J"... 195 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:24,244 "I," "O"... 196 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,746 OOH, OOH... 197 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:26,880 OH, JULIE! 198 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:30,150 - OKAY. NO, I CAN'T LIE. IT'S--IT'S JUDY. 199 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,085 - OH, I KNEW IT WAS SOMETHING JUU-EY! 200 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,988 THAT CAME OUT WRONG. - SHALOM! 201 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,925 OKAY, SO, IF YOU WANT TO REMEMBER IT, IT'S J-U-D-- 202 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,794 IT'S LIKE THE FIRST THREE LETTERS OF "JUDGE." 203 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,997 YOU KNOW, OR YOU DON'T. IT DOESN'T MATTER. THIS IS FUN! 204 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,933 THANK YOU. 205 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,901 [squeals softly] 206 00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,870 - JURORS, COMFY, RIGHT? 207 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,540 IN THE STATE VS. CHAD FORBES, 208 00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,107 MR. FORBES, YOU'VE BEEN CHARGED WITH NINE-- 209 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,576 WOW. OKAY. 210 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:58,145 NINE COUNTS OF MISDEMEANOR SEXUAL BATTERY 211 00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:01,148 UNDER CALIFORNIA PENAL CODE 243.4. 212 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:04,217 MISS SANCHEZ, HOW DOES YOUR CLIENT PLEAD? 213 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:05,919 - NOT GUILTY, YOUR HONOR. 214 00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:08,021 - YOUR HONOR, IF I MAY-- - OBJECTION. 215 00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,657 - ON WHAT GROUNDS? 216 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,192 - [scoffs] LOOK AT HIM. 217 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,261 - OVERRULED. 218 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:18,866 - MY ATTORNEY, MISS SANCHEZ, IS HERE TO REPRESENT ME, 219 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:22,903 TO DEFEND ME, TO SPEAK FOR ME. 220 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,638 BUT THESE WORDS... 221 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,574 I HAVE TO SAY FOR MYSELF. 222 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:30,243 YOUR HONOR, I PLEAD NOT GUILTY. 223 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,145 THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME. 224 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,114 - AND THANK YOU FOR RECOGNIZING 225 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:37,017 THAT YOU WERE, IN FACT, INDULGED... 226 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,986 MIGHTILY. 227 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,054 COUNSELOR, YOUR FIRST WITNESS. 228 00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:45,092 - YOUR HONOR, THE STATE WOULD LIKE TO CALL HANNAH JAM... 229 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,293 REAL NAME. 230 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:49,196 TAKE YOUR TIME. I KNOW IT'S HARD. 231 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,298 - NO, I JUST HAD SOMETHING IN MY EYE. 232 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,567 - NO, IT'S-- I KNOW IT'S HARD. 233 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:57,037 MISS JAM, IN YOUR TIME WORKING AS A KNOCKERS GIRL, 234 00:08:57,070 --> 00:09:00,007 DID YOU EXPERIENCE UNWANTED ADVANCES? 235 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,074 - WELL, SURE. 236 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:02,876 WHEN CUSTOMERS ORDERED THE "SLAP MY BUNS" BURGER, 237 00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:05,746 THEY TYPICALLY EXPECTED TO SLAP MY BUNS. 238 00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,281 - BUT WOULD YOU CHARACTERIZE BJ KNOCKERS 239 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,984 AS A HOSTILE WORKING ENVIRONMENT? 240 00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,886 - OBJECTION. - APPROACH. 241 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,822 - YOUR HONOR, IT'S POLICY AT BJ KNOCKERS 242 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,924 TO HAVE ALL THEIR SERVERS SIGN CONSENT FORMS. 243 00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,091 SHE WAS FULLY AWARE SHE'D BE WORKING 244 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,693 IN A SEXUALLY CHARGED ENVIRONMENT. 245 00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:22,830 - THE COURT ACKNOWLEDGES EXHIBIT "A," JUDY. 246 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,031 - [squeals softly] 247 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,099 - CAN YOU TELL THE COURT WHAT THIS IS? 248 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,802 - IT'S MY CONSENT FORM TO BE A KNOCKERS GIRL. 249 00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:29,903 WE ALL HAD TO SIGN IT. 250 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:33,907 - MISS JAM, TO WHAT WERE YOU CONSENTING IN THIS FORM? 251 00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:36,243 - I GUESS THAT I KNEW WHAT I WAS GETTING MYSELF INTO? 252 00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,811 - AH. 253 00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,312 - ALL RIGHT, THE JURY WILL ACKNOWLEDGE THAT 254 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,814 THAT IS MISS JAM'S SIGNATURE... 255 00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,115 - I'D REALLY PREFER "HANNAH." 256 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,951 - ON THE CONSENT FORM, 257 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,986 BUT I'M SORRY, DEFENSE. 258 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,656 IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ACTUAL LAW. 259 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:51,391 SO LET IT BE KNOWN THAT AT ALL TIMES, 260 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,294 MISS JAM DID RETAIN HER LEGAL RIGHT 261 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,930 TO NOT GET HER BUTT SLAPPED. 262 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,231 GOT IT? 263 00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,833 RECESS, ONE HOUR. 264 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:05,973 . 265 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,074 - DID YOU LOSE SOMETHING? - YEAH, MY DANISH EYE MASK. 266 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:11,645 IT REDUCES THE APPEARANCE OF FINE LINES AND WRINKLES 267 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,412 WHILST I NAP. 268 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,214 - PERHAPS YOUR NAP COULD WAIT. 269 00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:15,415 - NO, SIR, IT'S A $100 MASK, 270 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,250 AND IT MAKES ME LOOK A MONTH YOUNGER. 271 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:20,120 - THERE IS A LIFE-SIZE FIREFIGHTER 272 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,122 CALLING YOUR NAME OUT ON THE STEPS OF THE COURTHOUSE. 273 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,423 WOULD YOU PLEASE ADDRESS IT? - I KNOW. 274 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,125 SIR, CAN'T YOU ASK SECURITY TO DO IT? 275 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,126 I MEAN, ALL THEY'RE DOING 276 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,795 IS SITTING AROUND PLAYING CANDY CRUSH 277 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,297 AND SWAPPING LINKS TO PORN SITES ON THEIR PHONES. 278 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,165 - HEY, TIGER EYES-- THAT IS VERY NICE. 279 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:33,834 WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, LOWER YOUR CHAKRAS? 280 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,670 HEY, JUDGE. NO? NOTHING? 281 00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:38,305 YOU KNOW WHAT? SAME AS YOU. 282 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,740 NOTHING--YOU GET NOTHING OUT OF THAT GUY. 283 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,441 SILENCE IS GOLDEN. HE IS GOOD AT THAT. 284 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,443 BY THE WAY, THERE'S A FIREFIGHTER 285 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,145 ROAMING THE HALLS LOOKING FOR YOU, 286 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,446 LOOKING LIKE HE JUST FELL OUT OF A CALENDAR, 287 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,316 SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY HANDLE THAT. 288 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:51,218 - REBECCA? 289 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,720 REBECCA? 290 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:56,289 [elevator music] 291 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,425 - [clears throat] 292 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:01,695 * 293 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:04,965 [elevator bell dings] 294 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,466 - REBECCA? 295 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,837 REBECCA? 296 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:10,971 - REBECCA! 297 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,405 [elevator bell dings] 298 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:13,406 - REBECCA, HOLD UP! 299 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,243 - [grunting] 300 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,812 * 301 00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:22,816 - DID I INVITE YOU TO THE FIREMAN'S BALL? 302 00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,484 - OH, UM, I COULD STAND IN THE CORNER 303 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,386 AND SING A DRAKE SONG TO MYSELF, IF YOU GUYS WANT-- 304 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,722 - NO, NO, NO. NO. THIS ISN'T A PRIVATE CONVERSATION. 305 00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,490 HE JUST WONDERED IF HE ASKED ME TO THE FIREMAN'S BALL. 306 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,292 YOU DID. - THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. 307 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,160 - YEAH. 308 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,128 BUT THEN WHEN I WOKE UP, YOU WERE GONE, 309 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:37,197 AND I'M TRYING, BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER YOUR ANSWER. 310 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,300 - YEAH, I--WELL, I DIDN'T SAY, BECAUSE, UM-- 311 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:43,070 WELL, I WAS WAITING-- TEDWARD HAS MY CALENDAR, SO... 312 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,805 - OH, COOL. I'LL FOLLOW YOU TO YOUR OFFICE. 313 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,807 - UH, WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M GOING CAR SHOPPING NOW. 314 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,809 - WELL, I KNOW A LOT ABOUT CARS. I'LL COME WITH YOU. 315 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,078 - YEAH, ME TOO. I REPLACE MY SPARK PLUGS. 316 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:54,181 - I REBUILT MY TRANSMISSION. - YEAH? I REBUILT MY ENGINE. 317 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,149 - I LIFTED A CABRIOLET OFF A FAMILY OF FIVE 318 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,318 WHILE IT WAS ON FIRE. - WOW. 319 00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,820 I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WILL HELP ME. 320 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:03,156 BUT, YEAH, OKAY, COME WITH. - ALL RIGHT. 321 00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:07,094 - ALL RIGHT, JUDGE, LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKE ANYTHING. 322 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,428 - OKAY, THANKS, LENNY. 323 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:09,429 - I'LL SET IT ASIDE FOR YOU BEFORE THE AUCTION. 324 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,364 - HEY, SAY "HEY" TO YOUR WIFE FOR ME, ALL RIGHT? 325 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,166 - SHE LEFT ME LAST MONTH FOR ANOTHER GUY. 326 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,034 - SLUT! 327 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,535 - SHE'S STILL THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN. 328 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,805 - SLUT... AND AN ANGEL. 329 00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:20,440 - [laughs] NOW YOU'RE TALKING. - ALL RIGHT. 330 00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,110 - HEY, LET ME KNOW IF YOU SEE ANYTHING YOU LIKE. 331 00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,012 - OKAY, WILL DO. THANKS, LENNY. 332 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,113 - REBECCA? - HMM? 333 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,081 - YOU SURE THIS IS WHERE YOU WANT TO SHOP FOR A CAR? 334 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:30,217 - OH, COME ON, THIS IS THE PERFECT PLACE TO SHOP FOR A CAR. 335 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,451 THEY'RE BASICALLY ALL ON SALE. 336 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:34,387 - YEAH, BECAUSE THEY WERE OWNED BY KILLERS AND DRUG DEALERS. 337 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,123 - DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE CAR OF A DRUG DEALER? 338 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,125 YOU KNOW, CROOKS DON'T DRIVE WAGONS, OKAY? 339 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,993 OH, MY GOD, THERE'S A HUMAN FOOT. 340 00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,561 - WHAT? - GOTCHA! 341 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:45,298 [laughing] COME ON, I'M JOKING! LIGHTEN UP! 342 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,334 THESE ARE LIKE NORMAL-PEOPLE CARS, THOUGH-- 343 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,202 MOST OF THEM ANYWAY, YOU KNOW? 344 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,839 I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS THING. ACTUALLY, THIS TRUCK IS-- 345 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,140 THIS IS IN REALLY NICE SHAPE, 346 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:57,510 PROBABLY SOME OLD RETIRED GUY KEEPING IT UP. 347 00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,180 - YEAH, CHECK OUT THE LICENSE PLATE. 348 00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,150 - "COKE KING." 349 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,318 IT'S A LITTLE ON THE NOSE. 350 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,488 GET IT? "ON THE NOSE." - NO. 351 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:12,325 YOU KNOW, REBECCA, I, UM... 352 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:14,494 I PICK UP ON THINGS. - YOU DO? 353 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:17,497 - YEAH. AND YOU MAY CALL ME CRAZY, BUT... 354 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,166 I FEEL LIKE YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME ALL WEEK. 355 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,400 - NO. 356 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:23,336 - I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW... 357 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,338 I GET IT. - YOU DO? 358 00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:28,341 GOING OUT IN PUBLIC TOGETHER-- IT'S A BIG STEP. 359 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,544 THESE LEGS-- THEY'RE LONG ENOUGH TO TAKE IT. 360 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,847 SEE? SEE HOW LONG THEY ARE? 361 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,082 HUH? [chuckles] 362 00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,117 - UH-HUH. [engine turning over] 363 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,989 REBECCA? 364 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,324 REBECCA? 365 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:48,295 - HANNAH, DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS? 366 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,163 - YEAH. THAT'S MY ROOMMATE'S DIARY. 367 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:51,999 - AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR ROOMMATE WROTE ABOUT 368 00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,633 IN THIS DIARY? 369 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,336 - WELL, WE WERE TAKING A LOT OF CRAP AT KNOCKERS, 370 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:59,339 AND SHE DECIDED TO DOCUMENT ALL THE STUFF THAT WAS GOING ON. 371 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,574 - TELL US, WHAT HAPPENED? 372 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,476 - WELL, IT STARTED BECAUSE CHAD-- 373 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,512 I MEAN MR. FORBES-- HE WOULD DO THINGS 374 00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:08,015 LIKE HALTER-TOP INSPECTIONS IN HIS OFFICE, 375 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,183 ON HIS BOAT, ON HIS LAP, 376 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,185 OR SOMETIMES HE WOULD JUST UNTIE IT 377 00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:13,921 WHILE WE WERE HOLDING A TRAY OF DRINKS. 378 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:16,256 HE GOT OFF ON STUFF LIKE THAT. - OBJECTION. 379 00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:19,159 YOUR HONOR, SHE'S SPECULATING AS TO MY CLIENT'S STATE OF MIND. 380 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,228 EVERYTHING HE DOES IS IN THE INTEREST OF HIS BUSINESS. 381 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,630 - OVERRULED, COUNSELOR. THAT'S A BIG SWING. 382 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:26,199 - CHAD HAS A BIG SWING IN HIS OFFICE. 383 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,501 HE USED TO MAKE US PUSH THE NEW GIRLS 384 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,070 AND POUR WATER ON THEM. 385 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:30,971 - MM. 386 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:36,176 - I THINK WE'RE DONE-- NO MORE QUESTIONS. 387 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:39,412 - WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, SO HELP YOU GOD? 388 00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,514 - OF COURSE. - ALL RIGHT, COOL. 389 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,051 - [clears throat] MR. FORBES... 390 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,418 - CALL ME CHAD. - MAYBE I WILL. 391 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:46,686 - THAT'D BE GREAT. 392 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,021 - IT'S GOING TO BE EASIER FOR ME ANYWAY. 393 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,222 - GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE. 394 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:52,559 - SO, CHAD, LET'S TALK ABOUT BJ KNOCKERS. 395 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,527 WHAT IS THAT-- A, UH, FAMILY NAME? 396 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,664 [chuckles] - [laughs] NO, NO. 397 00:14:57,697 --> 00:15:00,000 IT'S JUST SOMETHING I CAME UP WITH. 398 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,601 YOU KNOW, KNOCKERS 'CAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY, 399 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,703 AND BJ-- WELL, IT'S KIND OF A NO-BRAINER. 400 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,871 - YEAH, IF YOU'RE IN 8TH GRADE. 401 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:10,110 - AND, UH, CHAD, WHAT TYPE OF GIRL IS A KNOCKERS GIRL? 402 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,578 - GOOD PERSONALITY. 403 00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,247 - I'LL REMIND YOU THAT YOU ARE UNDER OATH, SIR. 404 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:17,450 - SO JUST GOOD PERSONALITY? THAT'S IT? 405 00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,652 - MAYBE I SAID IT WRONG. UM... 406 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:22,455 A BJ KNOCKERS GIRL HAS TO BE A GOOD SPORT, 407 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,157 OTHERWISE SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO CUT IT. 408 00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:26,994 - A GOOD SPORT-- LIKE ON DECEMBER 21ST, 409 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,496 WHEN SANDY ADAMS WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK ON CHRISTMAS 410 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,532 AND YOU LET HER OFF IN EXCHANGE FOR A FOOT RUB. 411 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,567 DO YOU REMEMBER THAT? - HONESTLY, I DON'T. 412 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,170 BUT I MAKE LOTS OF DEALS WITH LOTS OF GIRLS. 413 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,438 BUT IF IT'S IN THAT DIARY, 414 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,073 I HAVE NO REASON TO DOUBT THAT IT'S TRUE. 415 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:41,541 - WELL, IT'S IN THE DIARY. 416 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:44,011 - OH, GOOD. 417 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,746 - DID THESE GIRLS THAT WORK FOR YOU OBJECT? 418 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,581 - NOT VERY OFTEN. 419 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:52,485 IT WAS ALL IN GOOD FUN. I'M A GOOD BOSS. 420 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,488 I LOVE MY GIRLS. 421 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,557 I PROTECT MY GIRLS. 422 00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:00,427 LOOK, I WON'T LIE. WE GET SOME CREEPS IN THERE-- 423 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,030 FRAT BOYS, ATHLETES... 424 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,465 COUPLE GUYS WHO KEEP PRETENDING TO BE BLIND. 425 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:10,370 BUT IF YOU TOUCH ONE OF MY GIRLS IN A WAY THEY DON'T LIKE, 426 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,173 I WILL TAKE YOU OUT TO SEA AND DUMP YOU. 427 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:16,409 - WELL, THERE ARE A LOT OF INSTANCES IN THIS DIARY 428 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:20,113 OF YOUR GIRLS BEING TREATED IN A WAY THEY DIDN'T LIKE. 429 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:23,616 - BREAKS MY HEART. REALLY DOES. 430 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:31,191 . 431 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,259 - HOW DO I DEFEND CHAD FORBES, FOUNDER OF BJ KNOCKERS? 432 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:40,033 THE EVENTS DESCRIBED IN THIS DIARY ARE INDEFENSIBLE. 433 00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:41,568 IN FACT, THE DEFENSE CONCEDES 434 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,570 THAT ALL OF THE EVENTS IN THIS DIARY 435 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:46,239 WARRANT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF OUR CHARGES. 436 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,807 - ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE THROWING A CURVEBALL, COUNSELOR. 437 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,808 GET TO IT. 438 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,278 - WITHOUT THE SWORN TESTIMONY OF THE OWNER, 439 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,412 THIS IS NOTHING BUT HEARSAY. 440 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:55,715 WE MOVE THAT THIS DIARY NOT BE ALLOWED INTO EVIDENCE. 441 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,584 - I SEE YOUR POINT, BUT THE COURT FEELS 442 00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:01,121 THAT THE DIARY CORROBORATES MISS JAM'S TESTIMONY. 443 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,489 MOTION DENIED. 444 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,224 - AND IN ANTICIPATION OF YOUR HONOR'S RULING, 445 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,560 I HAVE ALREADY FILED AN INTERLOCUTORY APPEAL. 446 00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:10,397 - GREAT. I LOVE INTERLOCUTORY APPEALS. 447 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,099 I ALSO LOVE LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH. 448 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,733 LUCKY FOR ME, I WORK IN A COURT, 449 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,735 AND I LIVE PRETTY CLOSE TO THE OCEAN, 450 00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,338 SO THE MORE "LOCUTORY," THE BETTER. 451 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,339 I STAND BY MY RULING. 452 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,274 - YOUR HONOR, WE BELIEVE THE DIARY IS HEARSAY. 453 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:21,974 I'VE CITED PRECEDENCE. 454 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,344 - BUTTON YOUR SHIRT, COUNSELOR. 455 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,514 - NOT YOU, HER. - WHAT? 456 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,249 - IF IT'S IN THE ROOMMATE'S DIARY, 457 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,618 WHY ISN'T SHE TESTIFYING? IS THERE A REASON? 458 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,187 - YES, BECAUSE SHE IS ON A BEACH IN HER NEW CAR 459 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:36,789 WITH A BAG OF DIAMONDS, COUNTING HER HUSH MONEY. 460 00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,358 - EASY, TIGER-- DEFAMATION. 461 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,427 - YOU'LL HAVE MY RULING BY THE END OF THE DAY. 462 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,229 - THANK YOU, SIR. - THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR. 463 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,796 - GRACIAS. - GRACIAS? REALLY? 464 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,299 - MM-HMM. - GROSS-IAS. 465 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:50,270 - ALL RISE. THE HONORABLE-- - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 466 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,305 PLEASE BE SEATED. 467 00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:55,242 JUDGE HERNANDEZ HAS RULED THAT WITHOUT ITS AUTHOR PRESENT 468 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,477 TO TESTIFY TO ITS VERACITY, 469 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,579 THE DIARY IS INADMISSIBLE. 470 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,714 SO, WHILE THE DEFENDANT HIMSELF SAYS, 471 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,317 "IF IT'S IN THE DIARY, IT MUST BE TRUE," 472 00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:05,585 THE ONLY THING THAT'S TRUE 473 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,887 IS THAT EVEN HIS ADMISSIONS ARE INADMISSIBLE. 474 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,458 I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO DISMISS THIS CASE. 475 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:15,295 MR. FORBES, ON THE OTHER HAND, 476 00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:17,530 I HAVE A FEELING THE GREAT STATE OF CALIFORNIA'S GONNA TAKE 477 00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,266 ANOTHER CRACK AT YOU. 478 00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:20,633 - IS THAT SO? - YEAH, THAT'S SO. 479 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,502 YOU KNOW, I USED TO BE A COCKTAIL WAITRESS, 480 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:25,838 AND I HAD BOSSES LIKE YOU, AND I HAD CUSTOMERS LIKE YOU. 481 00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:28,308 AND THE WORST OF THE WORST JUST GOT A SLAP ON THE HAND 482 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,477 OR A FINE EQUIVALENT TO A CAR PAYMENT. 483 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,346 BUT NOW WE TAKE THIS VERY SERIOUSLY. 484 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,748 SO YOU GO BACK TO YOUR BJ KNOCKERS, 485 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:36,749 AND ALL IT'S GONNA TAKE 486 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:40,653 IS ONE PAT ON THE ASS AND ONE BRAVE WAITRESS-- 487 00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:41,888 NOT THAT ONE, UNFORTUNATELY-- 488 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,590 AND YOU'RE GOING DOWN. 489 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,626 CASE DISMISSED. 490 00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,295 - OKAY, POINT IS, I THOUGHT WE HAD HIM, GUYS, DIDN'T YOU? 491 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:51,564 - NO, THEY'RE ATHLETES, MAN. THEY WERE TRAINING FOR THIS. 492 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:53,900 - REBECCA, WAIT UP! - "REBECCA"? 493 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:56,303 - HE CONTINUES TO BE INCREDIBLY PRESUMPTUOUS. 494 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:57,103 - HEY. 495 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,272 - OH, GOD, YOU ARE SO PREDICTABLE. 496 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,308 - STEP AWAY FROM THE JUDGE. - DON'T WORRY, TEDWARD. 497 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:04,244 HE POSES ZERO THREAT TO ME. - "ZERO THREAT"? 498 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,878 - MR. FORBES, PLEASE. 499 00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,680 - HEY, HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH? 500 00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:09,282 OH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. OOH, NICE GUN. 501 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:10,617 WHAT, DO YOU SHOOT THAT ONCE A YEAR ON THE RANGE? 502 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,651 NO, DON'T PULL IT OUT. 503 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,186 I WON'T BE ABLE TO STOP GIGGLING. 504 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,787 CAN YOU COME HERE? - NO, NO, I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, 505 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,257 EXCEPT THAT THIS IS GOING TO END BADLY FOR YOU. 506 00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,892 IT'S SIMPLE MATH. - NO, I LIKE MATH. 507 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:23,663 COME HERE, YOU LITTLE TEASE. - OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T. 508 00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,732 - OH! - AAH! 509 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,270 YES! 510 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,905 THANK YOU, BILLY WITH THE CHILI! 511 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,442 ANY OF YOU GUYS WANT TO KICK HIM IN THE NUTS, 512 00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:36,909 NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME. 513 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:38,278 CA-CAW! 514 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,812 - CA-CAW! 515 00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:42,449 - BOOM! - [chuckles] 516 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,750 - BILLY, I'M TELLING YOU, MAN. 517 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,585 THANKS TO YOU, I MEAN... 518 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:49,589 KNOCKING OUT CHAD FORBES WAS ONE OF THE HIGHLIGHTS OF MY LIFE. 519 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:50,890 - WELL, I'M GLAD YOU CALLED. 520 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,459 I DIDN'T KNOW IF I'D HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN 521 00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,294 AFTER YOU LEFT ME IN THE IMPOUND LOT. 522 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,395 - YEAH, I KNOW. 523 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,997 I MEAN, THAT TRUCK-- IT JUST WANTS TO GO, YOU KNOW? 524 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:58,998 - HEY, I WANTED TO MENTION-- 525 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,234 I STARTED READING ANOTHER BOOK BECAUSE OF YOU. 526 00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,235 - THAT'S GREAT! 527 00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:04,003 - YEAH, THE TITLE'S BAD. 528 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,204 IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT A MOCKINGBIRD, 529 00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:07,307 BUT SO FAR, IT'S JUST ABOUT A LITTLE GIRL IN THE SOUTH. 530 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,309 I HOPE IT BECOMES ABOUT BIRDS. 531 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:10,843 I LIKE ANIMAL STORIES. 532 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:14,013 - BILLY, I CAN'T GO TO THE FIREMAN'S BALL WITH YOU. 533 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:14,881 - WELL, WE CAN GO DUTCH, 534 00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,683 IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT. 535 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,618 I KNOW HOW INDEPENDENT YOU ARE. - NO. 536 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,788 NO, I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE THERE'S A, UM... 537 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,290 THING BETWEEN-- 538 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:24,857 YOU'VE READ ONE BOOK. 539 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,359 I-- 540 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:29,028 I'VE READ, LIKE, 1,000 OR MORE BOOKS. 541 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,631 - [laughs] YEAH. 542 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,633 I AM SO RELIEVED. - YEAH? 543 00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,001 - THE TRUTH IS, 544 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:37,003 I'M STRUGGLING TO FIND THINGS TO TALK ABOUT WITH YOU. 545 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,739 I WAS FEELING BAD JUST SLEEPING WITH YOU 'CAUSE YOU'RE HOT. 546 00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,641 - OKAY. 547 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,676 - BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT-- 548 00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:46,446 IF YOU EVER START READING LESS... 549 00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:50,417 GIVE ME A CALL, HUH? 550 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,419 - SAW WHAT HAPPENED. PROUD OF YOU. 551 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,420 - THANK YOU. - YEAH. 552 00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:54,454 - I'M KIND OF ON A ROLL. 553 00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:55,788 I GOT BILLY CHECKED OFF THE LIST. 554 00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,724 I GOT A CAR, AND I KNOW THE STENOGRAPHER'S NAME. 555 00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,327 - AND WHAT'S HER-- WHAT'S HER NAME?