1 00:00:03,471 --> 00:00:03,604 . 2 00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:04,205 - I CANNOT GIVE YOU NITROUS 3 00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:05,739 EVERY TIME YOU COME IN FOR A CLEANING. 4 00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:08,376 IT KILLS BRAIN CELLS. IT DOES. 5 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,178 JUST LOOK AT SUE ELLEN AT RECEPTION. 6 00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:12,646 - SHE LAUGHS FOR NO REASON. SHE IS NOT OKAY. 7 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,282 - [laughing] 8 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:15,283 - [laughs] 9 00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,284 I KNOW. 10 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:17,285 OKAY, SHE WAS IN MED SCHOOL, 11 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:18,586 BUT FOR THE LAST SEVEN YEARS, 12 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,254 SHE'S BEEN LOOKING AT THE SAME HIGHLIGHTS MAGAZINE. 13 00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:21,689 - OH, MY GOSH. HEY, WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT? 14 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,824 CRANK IT UP. I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN. 15 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,494 - UH... GOD. 16 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:27,495 I SLEPT WITH NICK. 17 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,097 - WHAT? 18 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:31,332 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU SLEPT WITH YOUR EX-HUSBAND? 19 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,400 - I DON'T KNOW. 20 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,402 I--JUST, WILL YOU LEAN BACK AND OPEN YOUR MOUTH? 21 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:35,569 I JUST-- 22 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,305 - BUT YOU WERE DOING SO GOOD, MICHELLE. 23 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:38,572 WHAT HAPPENED? 24 00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:39,573 - I DON'T KNOW. 25 00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:40,674 I--I THINK I WAS IN DENIAL, 26 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,376 AND NOW I'VE MOVED INTO DEPRESSION. 27 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,412 - YOU CAN'T BE DEPRESSED, OKAY? 28 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,280 LOOK, MAYBE NICK WAS A GOOD THING. 29 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:47,715 HE DIDN'T LET YOU EAT CARBS. 30 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:50,384 - I JUST THINK I NEED TO BE SAD FOR A WHILE, OKAY? 31 00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:51,619 I JUST NEED TO GO HOME AND-- 32 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:54,422 AND SIT IN THE BATH AND READ HARRY POTTER AND CRY... 33 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,190 - MM. 34 00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:58,092 - 'CAUSE I'M JUST... 35 00:00:58,126 --> 00:01:00,361 I'M JUST REALLY SAD, AND I'M LONELY. 36 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,462 - OH, NO. - YOU KNOW? 37 00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,732 - HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, MICH, 38 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,868 OKAY, YOU-- YOU ARE SUCH A SPECIAL LADY. 39 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,338 YEAH, YOU'RE VERY, VERY PRETTY, 40 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,106 AND YOU'RE SEXY, 41 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:14,542 AND YOU'RE INTELLIGENT, AND YOU PAY YOUR RENT ON TIME. 42 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,477 AND YOU'RE LIKE A LITTLE BIRD 43 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,146 THAT'S JUST BEEN FREED FROM HER CAGE. 44 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:19,079 AND YOU KEEP TRYING TO FLY HOME, 45 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:20,581 BUT YOU'RE HITTING THE SLIDING GLASS DOOR 46 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:21,882 'CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW IT'S A WINDOW, 47 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,317 AND YOU HIT YOUR BEAK, YOU FALL DOWN. 48 00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,253 I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO TOSS YOU OR FLUSH YOU. 49 00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,388 WHOA. WHOA. 50 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,289 THAT NITROUS IS REALLY GOOD. 51 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,457 OKAY, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, 52 00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:30,758 I'M GONNA PICK YOU UP TONIGHT AT 8:00, 53 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:33,794 AND BY 10:00, YOU ARE GONNA BE LEGS UP. 54 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:34,628 BOOM. 55 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:36,197 - YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A FILTHY MOUTH. 56 00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:37,265 - OH, COME ON. DON'T BE A PRUDE. 57 00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:39,200 - NO, LIKE, LITERALLY FILTHY. 58 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:41,135 HOW ARE YOU BRUSHING YOUR TEETH, WITH YOUR FINGER? 59 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,370 - AH. 60 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:45,339 [upbeat music] 61 00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:53,381 * 62 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:56,217 - TO SUM IT UP, 63 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,286 YOU NEVER ACTUALLY SAW STATE SENATOR CRANKLIN 64 00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:01,355 RECEIVE MONEY FROM ANY OF THE CONSTRUCTION COMPANIES. 65 00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:02,623 - MM-MM. - NO FURTHER QUESTIONS. 66 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:03,657 - ALL RIGHT, 67 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:07,328 STATE MAY CALL ITS NEXT WITNESS. 68 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,496 WHAT? 69 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:09,830 WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 70 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,299 ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME TO STEAL THIRD--WHAT? 71 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:13,801 - NO--WHAT? NO, JUST GIVE ME A BREAK. 72 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,369 [laughs] PLEASE. 73 00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,904 CAN YOU? A BREAK? 74 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:17,905 CAN YOU GIVE ME A BREAK? 75 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:18,906 - OH. 76 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,341 WELL... 77 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,410 NO, IT'S A-- IT'S A LITTLE EARLY... 78 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:23,777 FOR LUNCH. 79 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:26,247 BUT, YOU KNOW, LET'S-- LET'S CALL IT BRUNCH. 80 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,248 ONE HOUR, BRUNCH. 81 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:28,516 [gavel pounds] 82 00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:32,520 TOM, OKAY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 83 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:33,821 - OKAY. 84 00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,223 I JUST NEED, LIKE, A LITTLE, TINY, BITTY RECESS 85 00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:36,490 FOR THE REST OF THE WHOLE DAY. 86 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,792 - WHAT--DOES THIS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR HAIR SITUATION? 87 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,261 - NO, THIS-- WAIT, WHAT? 88 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:41,128 MY--WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY-- 89 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,696 - A TOUCH OF THE BIEBS, JUST A TOUCH. 90 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:43,697 IT'S GETTING BIG. 91 00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:44,965 - NO. 92 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,934 LOOK, MY KEY WITNESS AGAINST THE STATE SENATOR, 93 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,569 HER CHIEF OF STAFF, IS MISSING. 94 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:49,903 - OOH, WELL, FIVE COUNTS OF CORRUPTION, 95 00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:51,104 YOU NEED YOUR WITNESS. 96 00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:53,641 - MM, GOD, I LOVE WHEN YOU TELL ME THINGS I ALREADY KNOW. 97 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,842 I HAVE SUBPOENAED THIS WITNESS. 98 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:55,909 ALL RIGHT, I'VE CALLED HIM. 99 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,345 I'VE TEXTED HIM, EMAILED HIM. 100 00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:58,612 HE IS NOT SHOWING UP ANYWHERE. 101 00:02:58,646 --> 00:02:59,647 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? 102 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:00,848 - WELL... 103 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,483 WHEN I WAS D.A., 104 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,653 I DID WHATEVER IT TOOK TO GET MY GUY. 105 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,222 I ONCE DROVE 15 HOURS TO BURNING MAN, 106 00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:09,623 BUILT A ROBOT, 107 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,292 RODE AROUND ON A UNICYCLE-- 108 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,426 TOPLESS-- 109 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:13,427 TO GET MY GUY. 110 00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:14,628 - REALLY? YOU HAD TO? 111 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:15,929 - IT WAS BRUTAL. 112 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,631 I GOT HELLA WINDBURN, 113 00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,733 AND MY DR. SEUSS HAT STILL SMELLS LIKE A BONFIRE. 114 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,369 YEAH, BUT YOU GOT TO-- YOU GOT TO DO IT, TOM. 115 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,304 YOU GOT TO GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY. 116 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:26,374 YOU NEED TO STEP OUTSIDE THE LINES. 117 00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:29,577 - NOPE, GOING OUTSIDE THE LINES LEADS TO ANARCHY. 118 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:30,744 FIRST YOU HAVE A COOKIE BEFORE DINNER, 119 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:31,879 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, 120 00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,146 YOU'RE BURYING A HOOKER IN THE PARK. 121 00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,616 - WELL, THEN YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET CRANKLIN OR YOUR WITNESS. 122 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,385 - ARE WE JUST GONNA SAIL 123 00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,420 RIGHT PAST "BURYING A HOOKER IN THE PARK"? 124 00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,488 WE'RE JUST NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT IT? 125 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,290 - OKAY, THEORETICALLY, ALL RIGHT, 126 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,492 IF I WERE TO GO OUTSIDE THE LINES, 127 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:45,793 I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. 128 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,661 - LOOK, YOU HAVE THE DUDE'S INFO, 129 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:49,297 GO TO WHERE HE NORMALLY HANGS OUT, 130 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,298 OKAY, AND TRACK HIM DOWN. 131 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,465 - BUT HE'S RIGHT, TOM. 132 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:52,733 YOU GOT TO GET OUT THERE AND FIND THIS GUY 133 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,302 NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. 134 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,369 - TOM BY HIMSELF, MAN-- 135 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:56,570 TOM'S GONNA GET KILLED OUT THERE. 136 00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:59,907 [both laugh] - HE IS GONNA GET BRUTALIZED. 137 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,275 YOU GOT TO GO WITH HIM. 138 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,377 - DID I SAY KILLED? I MEANT EMBRACED. 139 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,713 OKAY, I GET THOSE WORDS MIXED UP ALL THE TIME. 140 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,548 SO WHICH ONE MEANS HE'LL BE FINE? 141 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,016 - HOT DOUGHNUT? 142 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:17,024 - JUDGE HERNANDEZ, LAVERNE WILSON. 143 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,526 - OF COURSE. - SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 144 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:21,362 I MISSED YOU WHEN I DID THE HARASSMENT SEMINAR 145 00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:22,996 FOR EVERYBODY ELSE LAST MONTH. 146 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,698 - I HAD THE FLU. - OH. 147 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,934 - YOU KNOW, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS LITTLE MAKEUP SEMINAR 148 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,369 JUST FOR ME. 149 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:29,770 I'VE BEEN TO MANY OF THESE OVER THE YEARS, 150 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,706 AND I THINK I KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG BY NOW. 151 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,508 - OH, BUT THE RULES ARE ALWAYS CHANGING. 152 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,843 FOR EXAMPLE, 153 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:38,512 DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE JENKINS VS. HERSHFELD CASE? 154 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:43,016 - I WAS THE PRESIDING JUDGE IN THE CASE, SO YES. 155 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,585 WHY DON'T YOU JUST SIGN THAT LITTLE PIECE OF PAPER 156 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,886 THAT SAYS I COMPLETED THE SEMINAR, 157 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:46,887 AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY? 158 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,989 - I CAN'T DO THAT. 159 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,659 HAVE A SEAT. 160 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,362 - FOUR HOURS OF DISCUSSING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR 161 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,463 IN THE WORKPLACE WITH YOU-- 162 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:59,032 NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY MAKE THIS MORE UNCOMFORTABLE. 163 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:01,335 - HELLO, LAVERNE! 164 00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,371 - WELCOME, JUDY. 165 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,506 - I STAND CORRECTED. 166 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:06,507 HELLO, JUDY. 167 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:07,641 - HI, SIR. 168 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,015 - ALL RIGHT, YOU ARE ALLOWED ONE BACKSLIDE WITH YOUR EX. 169 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,016 AND ANYTHING AFTER THAT, 170 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,084 YOU'RE BASICALLY BACK TOGETHER. 171 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,752 AND I AM WILLING TO HELP YOU, 172 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,354 BUT YOU'VE GOT TO COMMIT. 173 00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:21,389 - YOU KNOW, I'M IN. 174 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:23,424 I AM, BUT I-- I'M NERVOUS. 175 00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,426 I WAS MARRIED FOR 17 YEARS. 176 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:26,427 - UGH. 177 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,961 - IT'S BEEN, LIKE, 16 1/2 YEARS 178 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,830 SINCE A MAN HAS TAKEN OFF MY BRA. 179 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,131 - OKAY, DON'T EVER TELL ANYONE THAT 180 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,132 OTHER THAN ME. 181 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,001 - OKAY. - HEY. 182 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,369 YOU ARE NEW HERE. 183 00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:36,136 RIGHT? - YES. 184 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,571 I'M DEREK. IT'S MY FIRST WEEK. 185 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:39,573 - HELLO, I AM REBECCA. - NICE TO MEET YOU. 186 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,008 I'VE SEEN YOU AROUND A COUPLE TIMES. 187 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:44,044 - YEAH. - I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU BEFORE. 188 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,145 I WOULD REMEMBER. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 189 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,146 - I'M MICHELLE. 190 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,715 - OH, MICHELLE. 191 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:50,050 - [giggles] - DUDE, YOUR HANDS ARE SO SOFT. 192 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,486 - OH, THAT--THAT'S-- THEY GET SWEATY, 193 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,487 'CAUSE THEY'RE IN LATEX GLOVES 194 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:54,755 ALL DAY. [sniffs] 195 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,757 - WELL, WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S--IT'S WORKING. 196 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,693 NICE TO MEET YOU, MICHELLE. 197 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:00,961 - OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, NEVER SMELL YOUR HANDS 198 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,396 IN PUBLIC AND SPEAK OF LATEX. 199 00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:03,597 NO, IT'S NOT GOOD. 200 00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:06,467 SECONDLY, THAT GUY IS ADORABLE, AND HE'S TOTALLY INTO YOU. 201 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,768 - WELL, HE CALLED ME "DUDE." 202 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,002 - YEAH, IT'S 'CAUSE HE LIKES YOU. 203 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,103 THAT'S WHAT THE YOUNG PEOPLE SAY. 204 00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:12,072 YEAH, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, 205 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,807 YOUNG GUYS LOVE WOMEN OUR AGE. 206 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,444 OLD GUYS LOVE WOMEN OUR AGE. 207 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,712 THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT DON'T LIKE 40-YEAR-OLD WOMEN 208 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:19,980 ARE 40-YEAR-OLD MEN. 209 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:20,981 - OH. - YEAH. 210 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,182 - OKAY. 211 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,684 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, I CAN DO THIS. 212 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,553 - YEAH, YOU CAN. YOU GOT IT. 213 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,521 - HERE YOU GO. THESE ARE ON ME. 214 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:28,789 - OH, CHEERS. 215 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,424 - THANK YOU, DUDE. 216 00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:31,792 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 217 00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,428 UM, SO YOU GUYS ALL GOOD? 218 00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:36,997 - AS AN EXPERIENCED OLDER WOMAN, 219 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,800 I CAN TELL YOU, YES, DUDE. 220 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:40,801 - OKAY. 221 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,837 - BUT THIS IS FOR YOU 222 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,172 FROM MICHELLE. 223 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:46,173 - THANK YOU. 224 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,775 - YEAH. 225 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,510 WAIT, HE'S NOT GONNA KNOW I'M INTERESTED 226 00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,078 JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT TIP'S FROM ME. 227 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:54,047 - HE WILL IF YOUR PHONE NUMBER IS WRITTEN ON THE BACK. 228 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,082 both: WHAT? 229 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,517 - I DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU DO THAT. 230 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:57,851 - I KNOW, I KNOW. 231 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:03,290 . 232 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:04,224 - YOU GUYS, YOU HAVE TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. 233 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,060 - HEY, W--NO, NO. YOU CAN'T GO IN THE EVIDENCE R-- 234 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,061 OH, GOD. 235 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,463 - YOU'LL NEED SUPPLIES. 236 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:10,931 - FOR WHAT? 237 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:11,899 - STAKEOUT. 238 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,767 - [groans] 239 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,202 - NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES. - YEAH. 240 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,237 - NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES. - GRAPPLING HOOK. 241 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,238 - GRAPPLING HOOK. - YEAH. 242 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:21,208 GRAPPLING HOOK. - OH, AND TWO WALKIE-TALKIES. 243 00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,009 BOOM. 244 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,712 - OOH, BRICK OF HASH. - TEDWARD. 245 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:27,848 - LOOK, A CORNER FELL OFF INTO MY POCKET. 246 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,084 - WHERE'S THE CLERK? THIS ISN'T RIGHT. 247 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,820 WE GOT TO AT LEAST SIGN THIS STUFF OUT. 248 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,955 - I KEEP IT ALL UP HERE, TOM. 249 00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:36,056 - HOW DO I LOOK IN THIS? 250 00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:40,093 - UH, PROBABLY BETTER THAN THE GUY WHO DIED IN IT. 251 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,929 - GHOST JACKET. 252 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,130 IS THAT SOMETHING? 253 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,131 I THINK IT'S A THING. 254 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,633 - I'VE NOT HEARD OF THAT. 255 00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,104 - HEY. 256 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:55,042 - HEY, MORNING, SLEEPYHEAD. HOW'D IT GO WITH DEREK? 257 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,777 I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME HOME LAST NIGHT. 258 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,111 MAYBE YOU DIDN'T COME HOME LAST NIGHT. 259 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,213 - OH, MY GOD. RELAX. NO. 260 00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:03,183 WE JUST WENT AFTER WORK TO THIS PLACE AND GOT A BEER. 261 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,652 - MM-HMM. - I DON'T KNOW. 262 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:07,054 I JUST--IT JUST FEEL SO WEIRD TO BE DATING. 263 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,055 [cell phone buzzes] - MM. 264 00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,222 THAT'S HIM, RIGHT? 265 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,624 - YES. HE WON'T STOP TEXTING ME. 266 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,059 DID YOU REALIZE HE'S 24? 267 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,927 ALL RIGHT, AFTER HE KISSED ME GOOD NIGHT, 268 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:16,764 HE, LIKE, GAVE ME A HIGH FIVE AND TOOK OFF ON HIS BICYCLE. 269 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:21,869 - "DUDE, BARBECUE AT MY PLACE TODAY, POOL, BEER PONG. 270 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,070 YOU DOWN?" 271 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,105 DUDE, ARE YOU DOWN? - DUDE, I HAVE TO WORK. 272 00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:28,075 - COME ON, 24-- 24 IS THE GOLDEN AGE, MAN. 273 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,777 THEY'RE RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE, 274 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,679 BUT THEY HAVEN'T HAD THEIR SPIRITS CRUSHED YET. 275 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:32,780 RIGHT? 276 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,748 - GOSH, I AM REALLY GOOD AT BEER PONG. 277 00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:36,049 - YOU'RE GONNA BAIL OUT OF WORK EARLY, 278 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:36,917 AND I WILL PICK YOU UP. 279 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,251 BRING YOUR SUIT TO WORK, RIGHT? - EH. 280 00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:39,987 - OKAY, WAIT, HE WROTE BACK, 281 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,691 GOOGLY EYES, GOOGLY EYES, DANCING LADY, BEER MUG, 282 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,926 WAVE, DOLLAR SIGN. 283 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,895 ALL RIGHT, AND TO THAT, I SAY, 284 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,664 COLON, CLOSED PARENTHESIS, 285 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,732 SIR. 286 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:54,134 both: SEND. 287 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,069 - UH-UH, NO, STOP. 288 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,304 THAT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. 289 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:58,706 - GREAT. 290 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,174 NOW, LET'S DO A LITTLE ROLE PLAYING. 291 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,776 JUDGE HERNANDEZ, 292 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,945 YOU'RE GOING TO BE READING FROM THIS SCRIPT. 293 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,717 AND, JUDY, YOU'RE GOING TO BE RESPONDING. 294 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,218 - IMPROV, GREAT. 295 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,186 I NEED A SUGGESTION OF A LOCATION-- 296 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,187 BATHROOM-- 297 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,255 I HEARD BATHROOM. 298 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,356 THANK YOU. 299 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,925 [chuckles] 300 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,293 - [clears throat] 301 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:23,897 "CAN I GIVE YOU A BACK RUB?" - UH-UH! NO! 302 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:24,965 - ARE WE DONE YET? 303 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:28,869 - DO YOU WANT ME TO SIGN YOUR SLIP? 304 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,103 - [sighs] 305 00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,005 - * KICK YOUR FEET UP, GO, GO * 306 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,340 * GET IT, GOT TO KICK YOUR FEET UP * 307 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,175 * GO, GO, GET IT 308 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,143 * GOT TO KICK YOUR FEET UP 309 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,344 - THIS IS AWESOME. 310 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:40,013 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. 311 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,015 - DID THIS USED TO BE A BEST WESTERN? 312 00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,016 - MAYBE. 313 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,185 I THINK THEY BUILT IT AROUND THE PALM TREES. 314 00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,253 - MICHELLE, HI. 315 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,354 YES! - HEY. 316 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,156 - I'M SO STOKED THAT YOU'RE HERE. 317 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,991 - OH, I AM ALSO STOKED. - YES. 318 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,026 - HEY, I BROUGHT TUNES. WHAT? 319 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,127 I DID. - OH, THIS IS FOR ME? 320 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,128 YES! 321 00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:56,163 WOW, IS THIS VINTAGE? 322 00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:57,798 - UH, MADE TO LOOK. YEAH. 323 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,232 - YOU GUYS WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK? 324 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,669 - YOU KNOW, I WOULD LOVE AN EARTHY RED IF YOU HAVE. 325 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,103 - WE HAVE EARTHY BEER. - BEER IS GREAT. 326 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,104 - OH. - OKAY. 327 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:05,906 - GREAT. - OKAY. OKAY. 328 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,275 - LADIES, WELCOME. 329 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,276 I'M TYLER. 330 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,679 PBR? - PBR, YES, WE ARE. 331 00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:14,114 OKAY, HEY, I ENJOY YOUR FACIAL HAIR, SIR. 332 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,083 - THANKS, I'VE BEEN GROWING IT SINCE HALLOWEEN. 333 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,751 - UH, TYLER, MEET REBECCA, 334 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,319 AND THIS LITTLE LADY IS MICHELLE. 335 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,320 - HI. - HI. 336 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,755 - I'M SURE YOU'VE HEARD. 337 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,757 I--I RECENTLY, YOU KNOW, GOT OUT OF A MARRIAGE 338 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:26,159 WITH A MAN I DEVOTED MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE TO. 339 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,095 GOD, AND, YOU KNOW, I'M JUST OUT IN THE WORLD. 340 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,997 YOU KNOW, I'M TRYING TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND. 341 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:31,131 AND I THINK ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY 342 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,265 THAT I COULD DIE ALONE, 343 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,936 SO WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SPINACH DIP? 344 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,304 - YES. - YEAH. 345 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,006 - ONE SECOND. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 346 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,307 - OH, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 347 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,075 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE SEXY SMALL TALK. 348 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,376 WHAT DO I TALK TO THEM ABOUT? 349 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:45,245 VIDEO GAMES? USHER? 350 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,179 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANY OF THAT. 351 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,881 ALL YOU GOT TO DO-- YOU GOT TO ZIP THAT. 352 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,049 YOU GOT TO UNZIP THIS. 353 00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,150 BOOM, OKAY? - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 354 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,185 - 'CAUSE SPINACH DIP AIN'T THE ONLY THING YOU BROUGHT 355 00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:52,986 * TO THE PARTY 356 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,855 I WANT YOU TO PRACTICE THAT MOVE. 357 00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:57,457 AND PRETEND I SAID SOMETHING REALLY FUNNY RIGHT NOW, LAUGH. 358 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,193 [both laughing] 359 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,895 CANNONBALL! 360 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:04,364 [all screaming] 361 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,400 UH-HUH, YEAH. 362 00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,401 AHH. 363 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,469 - OH! - OH! 364 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,304 - OH, MY GOD. - WHOO-HOO-HOO! 365 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,305 - WHOO! 366 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,041 YOU'RE GENIUSES. 367 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,075 MICH, GET IN HERE. 368 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,276 - OKAY, ALL RIGHT. OKAY, WAIT. 369 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:17,978 - THAT'S INCREDIBLE. 370 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,079 - UM, YEAH. 371 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,380 - UH-OH, THE TONGUE. 372 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:21,982 IT'S STUCK. - YOUR TONGUE'S STUCK? 373 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:22,983 - [mumbling] 374 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,084 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. - OW! 375 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,185 - DON'T PANIC. DON'T PANIC. 376 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,486 * HOT BLOODED 377 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,388 both: * CHECK IT AND SEE, YEAH 378 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:31,391 * I GOT A FEVER OF 103 379 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,126 - ALL RIGHT, WHO'S DOWN FOR SOME BEER PONG? 380 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,361 - YES. - WHAT DO YOU SAY, LADIES? 381 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,263 - WE ARE. - LOSER HAS TO DO A KEG STAND. 382 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,832 - OH, YES, WE'RE IN, AND YOU'RE GOING DOWN. 383 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,300 YEAH, YOU GUYS, I'VE BEEN PLAYING BEER PONG 384 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:41,735 SINCE YOU WERE, LIKE, FOUR. 385 00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:42,836 OKAY? YEAH. 386 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,071 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT A KEG STAND IS. 387 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,205 I THINK WE SHOULD JUST GO. 388 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,174 - YOU'RE KIND OF BEING, LIKE, MICHELLE HARVEY OSWALD 389 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,375 FUN ASSASSIN RIGHT NOW. - HEY! 390 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,077 - LET'S JUST PLAY ONE MORE GAME, 391 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:50,978 AND THEN WE CAN GO, OKAY? 392 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:53,113 JUST ONE MORE GAME. - OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 393 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,848 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M STARVING. 394 00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,316 OKAY, I THOUGHT IT WAS A BARBECUE. 395 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,918 - THERE'S NO ACTUAL BARBECUE. 396 00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,452 THAT'S JUST OUR TERM FOR A, YOU KNOW, DAYTIME PARTY. 397 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:00,921 - BOOM. 398 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:01,922 - BUT YOU DO HAVE A GRILL, 399 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,190 SO MAYBE WE COULD FIRE IT UP. 400 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,858 - UM, I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, 401 00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:07,094 BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE WE KEEP OUR FLIP-FLOPS. 402 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,428 - AWESOME! 403 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:11,865 . 404 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:12,332 - * WHOOP WHOOP 405 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,902 * THAT'S THE SOUND OF THE POLICE * 406 00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:15,903 * WHOOP, WHOOP THAT'S THE SOUND OF THE POLICE * 407 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,537 - WHAT IS ALL THIS STUFF? 408 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,939 - STAKEOUT GEAR, BABY. 409 00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:20,407 I GOT MY STAKEOUT MIX GOING. 410 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,909 WE GOT STAKEOUT SNACKS. 411 00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:23,877 ALL RIGHT? STAKEOUT DRINKS. 412 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,512 ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO DRINK TOO MUCH. 413 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,914 YOU MIGHT MISS YOUR MAN 'CAUSE YOU GOT TO GO PEE 414 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,381 EVERY TEN MINUTES, OKAY? 415 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,550 BUT IN CASE YOU DO... 416 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,020 STAKEOUT BATHROOM. 417 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,321 - ALL RIGHT, SO HOW DOES IT GO DOWN 418 00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,288 WHEN WE SEE OUR GUY? 419 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:37,157 DO WE JUST, LIKE, CALL HIM OVER TO THE CAR? 420 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,292 - NO, I'M GONNA FLASH MY BADGE, 421 00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,862 FLASH MY SCOWL-- YOU KNOW, JUST... 422 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:44,031 RIGHT, AND I'MA STRONGLY URGE HIM TO GET IN THE BACKSEAT. 423 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:45,398 - OKAY. 424 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,835 - LOOK, I SIGNED THIS CAR OUT SPECIALLY FOR THIS. 425 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,102 OKAY, LOOK, 426 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,338 THERE ARE NO HANDLES IN THE BACKSEAT, OKAY? 427 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,006 ONCE HE GETS IN, HE CAN'T GET OUT. 428 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,241 - THAT'S KIDNAPPING. 429 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,809 THAT'S--MINIMUM SENTENCE, TEN YEARS. 430 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,044 - WE LET HIM KNOW UP FRONT, 431 00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,846 "HEY, MAN, YOU CAN LEAVE WHENEVER YOU WANT TO." 432 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,848 BUT, OOPS, THE DOORS DON'T OPEN. 433 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:04,384 [both laughing] 434 00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:05,452 - MICHELLE! 435 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:06,820 YOU GOT TO MAKE THIS, 436 00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,088 OR IT'S KEG STAND TIME. 437 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,190 - COME ON, MICH. - ALL RIGHT. 438 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,859 - YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT IT. 439 00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,493 YOU GOT IT. - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, STOP. 440 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:14,527 - COME ON, MICHELLE. 441 00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:15,863 - YES! - WHOO! 442 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,931 - WHAT? 443 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,532 THAT WAS-- WHAT IS THAT? 444 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,869 - NO, NO. 445 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,036 NO, LISTEN. I'M READY TO GO HOME. 446 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:24,504 YOU SAID ONE GAME. WE PLAYED, LIKE, 20. 447 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,539 - I FEEL LIKE YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY RIGHT THERE. 448 00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,275 WE CAN'T GO HOME. WE GOT TO DO THE KEG STAND. 449 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,342 ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE NOT BEING 450 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:30,911 A VERY SUPPORTIVE FRIEND RIGHT NOW. 451 00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,512 - WHAT? - HEY, YOU READY? 452 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,381 - YES. WE ARE READY. 453 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,216 LET'S GO. - LET'S GO. 454 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,618 - ALL RIGHT, BOYS. YEAH. 455 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,619 GO! 456 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,489 YEAH! - YEAH! 457 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:43,924 - I'M GOING HOME. 458 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:46,059 AND YOUR RIGHT BOOB IS ABOUT TO POP OUT. 459 00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:49,596 - MICHELLE. MICHELLE! 460 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:50,964 - PLEASE? 461 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,133 - FOR THE LAST TIME, NO. 462 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,267 LOOK, IT'S STILL DAYLIGHT. 463 00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,602 - NO, I THINK IT'S GETTING DARKER. 464 00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:59,106 - FINE. 465 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,440 - WHOO, COOL. 466 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:01,975 HEY, HEY, HEY. 467 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,543 THAT'S OUR GUY. THESE THINGS REALLY WORK. 468 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,079 - LOOK--REALLY? I CAN--I CAN SEE HIM TOO. 469 00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:07,547 - YOU CAN? ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO WE DO? 470 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,516 - WE GO GET OUR GUY 471 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,219 BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. 472 00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,121 - OW! OKAY, THAT'S BRIGHT. 473 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,923 YEP. 474 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,524 - UH, MR. PANZ, WE'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU 475 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,525 FOR A MINUTE. 476 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:19,559 - AM I UNDER ARREST? 477 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:22,162 - UH, NO. - RIGHT, OKAY. 478 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,630 GOOD-BYE. - [stammers] 479 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,532 HEY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME TO OUR CAR 480 00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:27,935 AND JUST SIT IN THE BACKSEAT, AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT SOME STUFF? 481 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,036 - YEAH, IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S ANY HARD WAY 482 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,037 TO GET OUT OF THE CAR. 483 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,204 - WH-- 484 00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:33,640 - LOOK, I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO TESTIFY AGAINST MY BOSS. 485 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,575 I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT, OKAY? 486 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:39,579 MY CAREER WOULD BE OVER. 487 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,181 - YOUR CAREER? 488 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,117 IF YOU DON'T TESTIFY, YOUR LIFE WILL BE OVER, YOU MORON. 489 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:47,220 YOUR BOSS IS FACING FIVE FELONY COUNTS OF CORRUPTION. 490 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:48,255 AND IF YOU DON'T TESTIFY, 491 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,923 THAT MAKES YOU AN ACCOMPLICE, 492 00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:53,260 WHICH MEANS YOU AUTOMATICALLY GET HALF OF HER SENTENCE. 493 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,062 OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE TRIPLES THAT. 494 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,063 - RIGHT. 495 00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,130 - HOW OLD ARE YOU? WHAT, 30? 496 00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:58,331 - 32. 497 00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,000 - YEAH, WELL, QUICK MATH QUIZ, HOTSHOT. 498 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,534 IF YOU DON'T TESTIFY, 499 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:05,038 YOU ARE GOING AWAY UNTIL JUST BEFORE YOUR 157TH BIRTHDAY. 500 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,306 - YEP. - ALL RIGHT. 501 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,608 BUT DON'T WORRY. YOUR CAREER WILL STILL BE FINE. 502 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,177 - ARE YOU SERIOUS? 503 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,647 - YOU TELL ME. 504 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:15,715 - OKAY. 505 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,717 OKAY, OKAY, I'LL DO IT. I'LL DO IT. I'LL TESTIFY. 506 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,152 - THERE'S SOME SNACKS BACK THERE FOR YOU. 507 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:20,720 - THANK YOU. - YEAH. 508 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,990 HOLY CRAP, MAN. 509 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,691 I MEAN, THE WAY YOU JUST HAD ALL THAT LEGAL STUFF 510 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,059 JUST READY TO GO-- 511 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,160 THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE, TOM. 512 00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:28,661 - IT WAS ALL LIES. ALL OF IT. 513 00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,130 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE MATH WAS RIGHT. 514 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,631 - [laughs] 515 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,133 - I MEAN, IF HE DOESN'T TESTIFY, IT'S, LIKE, THREE MONTHS. 516 00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,701 - SO YOU JUST, LIKE-- YOU JUST MADE ALL THAT UP. 517 00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,570 - JUST MADE IT UP! GOD, I LOVED IT TOO. 518 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,606 OH, IT REMINDED ME OF WHEN I WAS LITTLE, 519 00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,308 AND I WOULD GO TO CHURCH AND CLOSE MY EYES 520 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,375 BUT NOT PRAY. 521 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,510 [laughs] 522 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,345 GOD, I JUST WANT TO BREAK ALL THE RULES. 523 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,613 - HEY, THIS-- OKAY, TAKE IT EASY. 524 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,215 JUST START WITH JAYWALKING. 525 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:49,416 - YES, ON IT, 526 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,617 AND I'M NOT GONNA WEAR MY SEAT BELT. 527 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,485 - HEY. 528 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:53,987 - I'M GONNA WEAR MY SEAT BELT 'CAUSE THAT WOULD BE RECKLESS. 529 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,489 - OKAY. SEAT BELTS ARE IMPORTANT. 530 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,291 [cell phone buzzing] 531 00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,327 WELL, WE GOT TO MAKE A QUICK STOP FIRST. 532 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,330 - YEAH, I GOT TO TINKLE. 533 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:04,731 - GUYS, THANKS FOR PICKING ME UP. 534 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,733 I HAVE A SUPER LOW RATING ON UBER. 535 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,701 I'M SORRY. I GET CARSICK. 536 00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,737 - EVERYONE GETS CARSICK AFTER A BOTTLE OF TEQUILA. 537 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,306 - OH, ARE YOU THE WITNESS? IS THIS THE WITNESS? 538 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,275 - YES, THIS IS THE WITNESS, AND HE'S AGREED TO TESTIFY. 539 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,178 - OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU FINALLY GOT THAT TURD. 540 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,280 SIR, THAT WAS UNFAIR. 541 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,749 YOU'RE PERFORMING A VALUABLE CIVIC DUTY BY TESTIFYING. 542 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:23,783 - SO WHAT HAPPENED TO MICHELLE? 543 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,652 - SHE TOTALLY BAILED ON ME. 544 00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,587 I GAVE HER THE PERFECT GET-OVER-NICK PILL, 545 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,588 AND SHE DIDN'T TAKE IT. 546 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:29,722 - WHAT'D YOU TELL HER? 547 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,125 - I TOLD HER TO QUIT WALLOWING, GET BACK ON THE HORSE. 548 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,793 AND THAT HORSE IS CALLED DEREK, AND HE'S YOUNG. 549 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,328 [growls] 550 00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:37,097 - YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T WANT TO BE HAPPY. 551 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,332 - SEE? SIR, YOU ARE SO RIGHT. 552 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,700 YOU KNOW WHAT, THE BOTTOM LINE IS, 553 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:44,437 I LOST THE BATTLE, GUYS, BUT I WILL WIN THE WAR, MAN. 554 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:46,406 SHE ALREADY HAD ONE BACKSLIDE WITH HER EX. 555 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:47,740 - ONE BACKSLIDE, YOU'RE FINE, 556 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,110 BUT THE SECOND ONE, YOU'RE BASICALLY BACK TOGETHER. 557 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,411 - SEE? 558 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,346 LISTEN, MAN, I'M GLAD THAT YOU SHOWED UP, 559 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:54,647 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FREAK YOU OUT, 560 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,484 BUT I COULD HAVE GIVEN YOU THREE MONTHS JAIL TIME. 561 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,551 - WHAT? 562 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:01,621 - LOOK, NO, THAT'S IN ADDITION TO THE 150 YEARS. 563 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,590 REMEMBER? - WHY AREN'T WE DRIVING? 564 00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,792 - WELL, 'CAUSE SOMEONE HASN'T PUT ON THEIR SEAT BELT YET, 565 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,460 AND I'M LOOKING AT HER. 566 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:21,574 . 567 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:21,874 - [crying] 568 00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,244 - MICHELLE? 569 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,378 - [crying] 570 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,514 - HEY! 571 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:31,251 AW, SPECIAL LADY. 572 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,686 - SORRY, I JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME THIS WAY. 573 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,557 - I HAVE SEEN YOU CRY LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF TIMES 574 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:42,162 ON LAND AND ON SEA, DAY AND NIGHT, 575 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,496 EVERY STATE IN THE UNION, 576 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:44,664 AND IN GUAM. 577 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:46,733 - THAT WAS A TERRIBLE SPRING BREAK IDEA. 578 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,568 - I KNOW, THOSE SAILORS WERE MEAN. 579 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,337 - WHAT HAPPENED AT THE PARTY? 580 00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,373 - WELL, IT WAS COOL UNTIL TYLER'S MOM SHOWED UP. 581 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,374 THEN IT GOT WEIRD. 582 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,508 SO, YOU KNOW, 583 00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,310 I TOLD THEM ALL THEY COULD COME HERE. 584 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,311 WHAT? 585 00:17:58,345 --> 00:17:59,546 - OH, BABE, I JUST CAN'T. 586 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,148 I CAN'T PARTY, OKAY? 587 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,350 I'M SORRY, I KNOW YOU THINK I'M A DRAG 588 00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:04,651 AND THAT I NEED TO BUST LOOSE, 589 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,353 BUT IT'S JUST NOT WORKING FOR ME. 590 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,155 - MICHELLE, 591 00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:10,357 I JUST WISH YOU WOULD LISTEN TO ME, OKAY? 592 00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,392 I FIX PROBLEMS, RIGHT? 593 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,893 I MEAN, IT'S KIND OF WHAT I DO, RIGHT? 594 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,663 I DEAL WITH PEOPLE'S LIVES EVERY DAY, 595 00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:20,467 AND YOU--YOU DEAL WITH PEOPLE'S MOUTHS, 596 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,734 WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT. 597 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,737 IT IS--BUT MY ADVICE IS KIND OF SANCTIONED 598 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,473 BY THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA. 599 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,908 THAT'S A REALLY BIG STATE. 600 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,210 - ARE YOU STILL DRUNK? 601 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,578 - YEAH. 602 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,647 - LOOK, YOU'RE GREAT AT FIXING PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS, 603 00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:37,850 BUT, YOU KNOW, WHAT'S GONNA FIX YOU IS NOT WHAT'S GONNA FIX ME. 604 00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,386 I'M NOT YOU. 605 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,621 - I KNOW. 606 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:42,622 YOU'RE VERY TINY. 607 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:43,823 - I'M TINY. 608 00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:47,394 - I COULD WEAR YOU AS MY EARRINGS. 609 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:51,398 MICH, WHATEVER YOU NEED, OKAY, 610 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:52,265 GOT IT. 611 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,167 - OKAY. THANKS. 612 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,168 [doorbell rings] 613 00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:57,270 - [scoffs] THAT'S THEM. 614 00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,206 THE MERRY BAND OF MISFITS-- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 615 00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:01,174 I'M GONNA GET RID OF THEM, ALL RIGHT? 616 00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,576 IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF HOT GUYS AND A COUPLE OF DUMPY CHICKS, 617 00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,378 BUT [clicks tongue] IT'S DONE. 618 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,314 - WELL, WHAT-- IS DEREK WITH THEM? 619 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:08,881 - I THINK HE IS. 620 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:11,484 HE DID MENTION SOMETHING ABOUT HIS FORMAL BASKETBALL SHORTS. 621 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:12,552 SO... - WELL... 622 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,921 I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE. 623 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:17,290 [giggles] 624 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:18,525 - ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? 625 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:19,726 MAYBE WE CAN GET DEREK TO READ YOU SOME HARRY POTTER. 626 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:23,396 - OOH, MAYBE I'LL ALLOW HIM INTO MY CHAMBER OF SECRETS. 627 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,597 - NO, DON'T SAY THAT, THOUGH. 628 00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,832 - NO? - NO. 629 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:28,268 - SIR! 630 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:29,402 - YES, JUDY? 631 00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:30,337 - WELL, I WAS WONDERING-- 632 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:31,838 MY NIECE IS SELLING GIRL SCOUT COOKIES, 633 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,206 AND WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME? 634 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,374 THEY'RE $4 A BOX. 635 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:35,275 - SURE, PUT ME DOWN FOR TEN. 636 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,310 - TEN BOXES TOTAL OR TEN OF EACH KIND? 637 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,378 - YES. 638 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:40,313 - JUDGE H, WHAT'S GOING ON? 639 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,348 EVER SINCE WE TOOK THAT SEMINAR, 640 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,283 YOU WON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME. 641 00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:44,417 - WELL, IT'S JUST, EVER SINCE THEN, 642 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,386 I'M VERY AWARE OF OUR INTERACTIONS, 643 00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,887 AND I DON'T WANT TO SAY OR DO ANYTHING 644 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,956 THAT--THAT MIGHT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. 645 00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,224 - PLEASE. 646 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:52,959 WE WERE READING SCRIPTS. 647 00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,327 I KNOW THAT'S NOT YOU. 648 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:55,795 YOU'RE A GENTLEMAN, SIR. 649 00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:58,365 I KNOW YOU WOULD NEVER MAKE ANY UNWANTED SEXUAL ADVANCES 650 00:19:58,398 --> 00:19:59,366 TOWARDS ME. 651 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,633 - OF COURSE I WOULDN'T. 652 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,436 - BECAUSE ANY SEX TALK YOU THROW MY WAY 653 00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,305 IS MORE THAN WANTED. 654 00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,607 IT'S A-OKAY. 655 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,276 - NO. STOP. 656 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,643 THAT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE. 657 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:18,885 NOW I KNOW WHY YOU WERE REQUIRED TO RETAKE THAT CLASS. 658 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:28,461 - I HATE TO SEE YOU GO, BUT I LOVE TO WATCH YOU LEAVE. 659 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,496 MM. 660 00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,464 MM, MM, OOH. 661 00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:33,300 - ANNE CRANKLIN, 662 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:36,903 THE JURY FINDS YOU GUILTY ON ALL FIVE COUNTS OF CORRUPTION. 663 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:40,473 SENTENCING WILL BE HANDED DOWN A WEEK FROM TODAY. 664 00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:44,477 YOU WILL BE REMANDED INTO CUSTODY UNTIL THEN. 665 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:46,479 - OH, THIS MAKES ME HAPPY. 666 00:20:46,513 --> 00:20:47,914 - I GOT TO SAY, 667 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,982 TOM, I DIDN'T THINK YOU HAD IT IN YOU. 668 00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,719 AND I AM SORRY THAT I HAD MY DOUBTS. 669 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,754 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, 670 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:55,855 NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE. 671 00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:57,657 I SHOULD BE THE ONE THANKING YOU 672 00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:00,460 FOR FINALLY PUSHING ME OUTSIDE OF THE LINES. 673 00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:03,830 - SO YOU LIKED BEING BAD, HUH? 674 00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:06,466 - OR DID BEING BAD... 675 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,401 LIKE ME? 676 00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:10,770 - OH. 677 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:13,306 TOM. 678 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:14,907 - YEAH?