♪ Welcome to Azarath Metrion Bookstore ♪
♪ Our demonic staff is here to help you ♪
♪ Find what you're looking for ♪
♪ Welcome to Azarath Metrion Bookstore ♪
♪ We got books on spells, Crystal curses ♪
♪ Books that are hard core ♪
♪ Welcome to Azarath Metrion Bookstore ♪
How can we help you?
Thank you for shopping at our store.
Have a terrible day.
Oh, look, Rachel.
We just received a shipment
of my favorite books.
"Eternal Love, Obsessive Passion,
Dangerous Desires."
Whoa, you sure do like
your romance novels, Nana.
Ooh, especially the covers.
Mm-mm! Nana likes 'em swole.
I prefer horror novels.
Got you!
Cat!
That... was...
awesome.
Ooh, I know someone else we can get.
Look at this disaster. This is a bookstore,
not a Messmart, people.
Huh?
Got you.
You scared me to death.
You're already a ghost, silly.
Well, if you wanna go around scaring people,
I've got the perfect person in mind.
Boo!
Not scary, Hank.
Pick those up, Cat.
Okay, enough with the funny business.
Now, get back to work.
Aw, we're just trying to scare you.
Honey, I'm the destroyer of worlds.
Nothing scares me.
That is not true.
Yes, it is, Mother.
Hush, now. Let me tell y'all a story.
When Trigon was a little boy,
I used to read him a children's book...
...called, The Bookyman.
It was the story of a twisted fiend
bound inside a book.
And after we was done reading it,
ooh, Trigon would have
the nightlights scared out of him.
Boogie-boogie.
I knew it! Something does scare you.
I may be a scaredy cat, but even I've never been afraid
of a simple children's book.
- How pathetic. - I'm not afraid of that book.
Then prove it.
I would, but your Nana destroyed that book long ago.
Isn't that right, Mother?
Well, not exactly.
I held onto it
in case I ever needed to keep you in line.
You mean it's still in the store?
That's right. It is.
Ooh, Let's go find it.
Yeah. Where is it, Nana.
Hmm. If I recall,
I hid it somewhere in the children's section.
- I'll show you. - No, wait.
It's a mess back there.
We'll never find it.
No point in even trying.
It's okay, Dad.
You can stay behind if you're scared.
I'm not scared. I've just got to answer this phone call.
Ring, ring. Toot. Hello!
Sorry. I have to take this, very important.
Whatever.
Now, come on. Let's go get that book.
To the children's section!
On second thought,
maybe not.
Those demonic children never put anything back
in the right place.
Uh, and they're always leaving
their creepy toys laying around.
Gah!
Ooh, I don't think we're alone up in here.
I hate ghosts.
Ha. Sorry, Hank. You're cool.
There must be an evil spirit haunting these aisles.
Forget finding the book. Let's get out of here!
Hold up. It's not an evil spirit.
It's an evil dad.
Ooh! Hello, sweetie.
Trigontholomew!
I was just having some fun, Mother.
No, you were trying to scare us out of the children's section.
You don't want us to find that book.
He really is scared of it.
For the 100th time, I am not afraid of some silly book.
Well, we'll soon find out because it's right over here.
Now, I just need to find the right combination...
Whoa!
Okay, you've seen it.
Now, what do you say we all get some ice cream?
My treat!
What's that on the back jacket?
It's some sort of inscription.
Oh, would you look at that?
Says here, "You can bring the Bookyman to life
if you call his name three times."
Ooh!
Go ahead. I'm not scared.
Bookyman.
I'm cool.
Bookyman.
Whatevs.
Bookyman!
Hide me.
Seriously, Dad.
What's so scary about the Bookyman?
Calm down, child.
There's nothing to be worried about.
Aw. It's so cute and harmless.
Look, it likes Little Red Riding Hood.
Aw!
Wait. Don't leave me.
Mother, is that you?
Yes, dear.
My, what hairy arms you have.
The better to hug you with.
My, what a thick spine you have.
The better to carry you with.
My, what sharp teeth you have.
The better to eat you with.
You're my mother, all right.
That ain't me, you numbskull.
Run!
What are we going to do?
Well, if the Bookyman transforms into
whatever book he eats,
then we need to feed him something harmless.
I've got it. We can feed him this young-adult novel.
Wait, don't!
Fool! That's not a young-adult novel.
That's a manga novel.
What's a manga anyway?
Ha-ha!
Take cover!
Nice going, Hank.
- I didn't know. - I've got an idea.
See, now he's a peaceful hunk,
like the one on the front.
Oh, no, baby.
In that book, the hunk is a ruthless warlord.
Would you stop judging books by their cover?
Silencio!
Oh, please.
Don't hurt us, Mr. Bookyman.
Please.
I don't want to hurt you.
I simply want to marry you, my love.
Ooh!
What?
You know, it's not everyday
I come across a special woman such as yourself.
Mm. I think you're pretty special too, Mr. Bookyman.
Mother, come to your senses.
You can't fall for this thing.
Trigon's right. She can't.
Thank you, Hank.
Because, I'm in love with Nana, too.
Nana, will you marry me?
Oh, my!
Has everyone gone crazy?
Hank, I don't know which one to choose.
Then let us settle this for you
with a duel to the death!
- Oh! - Challenge accepted!
It's getting dark.
Goodbye, Nana.
Oh, get up, Hank.
We all know you can't die.
I bet I had you there
for a second, though.
Huh? Yeah.
I'm sorry, Hank.
But, I think it's clear that you and I
were just never meant to be.
That's okay. I'm not really in love with you.
I just wanted to scare Trigon.
Why, you...
Then, Nana,
will you give me the honor of being my wife?
Yes. Go on, Nana, do it.
No, don't do it.
Yes. Yes, I will.
Bookyman, do you take Nana to be your wife?
I do.
Yes, I do.
May I have the rings?
Here you go.
You're really disgusting, you know that?
Oh, Dad. Tears of joy?
No. Terror.
This is the scariest day of my life.
By the power invested in me,
I now pronounce you Nana and the Bookyman!
No!
I just love a happy ending.