1
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♪ Go!
2
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♪ T-E-E-N
3
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♪ T-I-T-A-N-S
4
00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:20,020
♪ Teen Titans, let's go
5
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♪ Teen Titans, go
6
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♪ I think they gon' do
Something 'bout the door
'Bout the door ♪
7
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♪ Every time when we
Come through, come through ♪
8
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♪ Call on my
Call on my ♪
9
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♪ Call on my
Call on my
Call on my ♪
10
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♪ We gon' take it
To the house ♪
11
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There's my man!
12
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Hop in, guys.
13
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Front seat!
14
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No, I get the front.
15
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You shall relinquish control
of the front seat to me.
16
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Yes, Brother Blood.
17
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Where's Brain?
18
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In the bathroom.
He should be out any moment.
19
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Huh. I didn't think that dude,
you know, pooped.
20
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How does that even work?
21
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Let's just say
it involves the gorilla.
22
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Be back in a bit, Mallah.
23
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,785
Give hugs and kisses
to all the henchmen for me.
24
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-B-rain, what's up, my man?
25
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I am so glad we found
time to get together.
26
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Between work
and raising my army,
27
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I've just been so busy lately.
28
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You know why these outings
are so great?
29
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Because no one
understands villains
like other villains do.
30
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It's like we're
our own special breed.
31
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And a very misunderstood breed
at that.
32
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So what are you guys up for?
Tacos? Pizza?
33
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Well, for an occasion like this,
34
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I say we start with dessert.
35
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Joker's Gelato!
36
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Mmm. I'm gonna get me
37
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two scoops of
Chocolate Minty Mark Hamil.
38
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I'm more of a Cookie Jared
Ledough myself.
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Joaquin Butter Pecan Phoenix
in a waffle cone,
40
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thank you very much.
41
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:22,707
Heath Ledger
Bar Milkshake
for me, please.
42
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:25,362
Joker's Gelato, here we come!
43
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Oh, man!
Would you look at this.
44
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It's the middle of the day,
there shouldn't be
this much traffic.
45
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Let me see what the trouble is.
46
00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:42,423
Oh, no! Not the Titans!
47
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Cyborg, hit it.
48
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:04,836
Having a giant
robot dance party
in rush hour traffic?
49
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,143
Oh, that is so typical of them.
50
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,886
Those fools have caused
more chaos and destruction
than we ever have.
51
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:13,410
And yet, we're considered
the bad guys.
52
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:15,760
The Titans are a bunch of jokes.
53
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I know, right?
You know who I find
the most annoying?
54
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Beast Boy. Ugh!
55
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Yo, yo, yo!
That's what's up, bro!
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My name is Beast Boy,
and I sound so stupid
57
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'cause I talk like this.
58
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Great impression, Blood.
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It was like Beast Boy
was right here
in the van with us.
60
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Oh, how I loathe those Titans.
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00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:44,354
Their incessant buffoonery's
enough to drive anyone insane.
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Did I ever tell you about
the time they actually
did drive me insane?
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There I was, having
a relaxing night at home,
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-cup of tea...
65
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...when suddenly
my super computer
picked up an incoming signal.
66
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It was a giant meteor.
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And it was heading
straight for Jump City.
68
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:06,550
I quickly realized there was only
one thing powerful enough to stop it,
69
00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,857
the Titans Tower
weapons arsenal.
70
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:12,252
I immediately rushed over
to warn them
of the impending doom.
71
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:15,037
However, when I arrived,
they were playing
this ridiculous game
72
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,082
where all they could say was
73
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"waffles"!
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00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,216
Oh, that is so like them.
75
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I know, right?
76
00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:24,742
Anyway, you can only imagine
the disaster that followed.
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00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:30,966
Titans,
there's a giant meteor
that's about to hit Jump City.
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00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,228
We only have moments before...
79
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Waffles!
80
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Wait, what did you just say?
81
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:36,319
Waffles, waffles, waffles.
82
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,625
This isn't a joke.
83
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:38,756
A meteor is about to...
84
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,236
Waffles.
85
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,193
You're messing with me now,
aren't you?
86
00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:42,107
Waffles, waffles.
87
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:43,370
Argh, cut that out!
88
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- Waffles.
- Waffles.
89
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Waffles.
90
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It's not funny.
91
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:52,553
♪ Waffles, waffles, waffles
92
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,903
-♪ Waffles, waffles, waffles
93
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-♪ Waffles
They drove me completely mad,
94
00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:58,863
and that meteor ended up
destroying half the city.
95
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:03,651
You have to admit, though,
that waffles song
is rather catchy.
96
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:07,611
♪ Waffles, waffles, waffles
97
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,309
♪ Waffles!
98
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:11,112
-♪ Waffles, waffles,
waffles -Stop it. Stop!
99
00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:12,442
Silence!
100
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:16,533
If I hear that song
one more time, I'll explode!
101
00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:17,752
Relax, Blood.
102
00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:19,797
We feel your pain.
103
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:22,800
I, too, have a painful story
I'd like to share.
104
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:25,412
-[music playing
and crowd cheering]
-A while back, I was invited
105
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:29,024
to perform one of
my spectacular light shows
for a benefit event.
106
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:31,287
I borrowed the museum's
giant prism
107
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,768
-to take my light show
to the next level.
108
00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:37,424
I went through
all the proper channels,
filled out all the paperwork.
109
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:41,384
I wanted the show to be legit,
100% on the up-and-up.
110
00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:56,921
From now on,
I shall only use light
for good and entertainment.
111
00:05:56,965 --> 00:06:02,100
I truly feel today
is the first day
of the rest of my new life...
112
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:05,277
-Too bad the rest of your life
is going to be behind bars.
113
00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:06,931
Wait, I didn't do
anything wrong.
114
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:11,327
Seriously...
I didn't break any law.
115
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,373
- Ow!
- Save it for the judge.
116
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:18,247
But I really didn't do any...
117
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:20,075
Same some for Cy!
118
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:22,860
Stay down!
119
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:24,514
You do not want to get up!
120
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:25,559
Ka-blam!
121
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,652
I was hospitalized for weeks.
122
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:34,437
And without a light show,
the benefit event was unable
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00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,353
to raise money for
the Jump City orphanage.
124
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,877
Their wanton
displays of violence
125
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:43,228
are really inappropriate
for such a young audience.
126
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:46,057
Superheroes are
supposed to be role models
127
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:47,842
who always model good behavior.
128
00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:50,279
And if kids can't
look up to superheroes,
129
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:51,715
who can they look up to?
130
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,804
Their parents? Please.
131
00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:56,328
Yeah, they'd be better off
looking up to us.
132
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:58,418
- Ditto.
- I agree with that 100%.
133
00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:00,028
...upstanding,
you know.
134
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:02,073
The Titans are
such disappointments.
135
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,727
You wanna talk disappointments?
136
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:06,469
Let me tell you what happened
just last week.
137
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:09,820
Me and the H.I.V.E. decided
we wanted to make a little
withdrawal from the bank.
138
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,692
Hand over the money, H.I.V.E.
139
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:14,129
We didn't steal this money.
It's ours.
140
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:16,479
-We just cashed in our 401
-Ks.
141
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:19,351
That don't make no sense.
142
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:22,833
-Choosing to cash in your 401
-Ks
before retirement age
143
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:25,575
will cause you to get hit
with additional taxes
and penalties
144
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:28,317
that can reduce your savings
by as much as 40%.
145
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,406
And why would you choose
to succumb to this fate
146
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,104
when you could've
just as easily rolled
your money into an IRA
147
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:36,804
and avoided paying
the aforementioned taxes
and penalties altogether?
148
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,936
That would be
the fiscally wise option
149
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:41,112
that any sane person
would have chosen.
150
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:44,420
Which is why we know
that you are telling the lies.
151
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,074
-Get 'em
-No, no. Wait.
152
00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:48,903
We were just ill-informed
about our financial options!
153
00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:51,166
Maybe this will teach you
a lesson.
154
00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:58,042
No!
155
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:06,137
Ugh. How do they know so much
-about things like 401
-Ks
and rental properties?
156
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:10,577
It's as if
their dialog was written
by some boring middle-aged man.
157
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,191
We're here!
158
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:17,758
-We are here.
159
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,978
Joker's Gelato!
160
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:27,550
I am loving these Pepper
Jack Nicholson sprinkles.
161
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:34,775
Joker's Gelato always
puts a smile on my face.
162
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,311
Brain, what's wrong?
163
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,531
Do tell, Brain,
what happened, bro?
164
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,445
As you know,
165
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:56,666
I'd love to spend my weekends
166
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:58,320
coaching youth soccer.
167
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:00,931
Lyla, show no mercy!
168
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:03,194
Persa, take no prisoners.
169
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:06,154
First, we shall dominate
this soccer division,
170
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:08,635
-and then the world!
171
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:12,334
But just before the big game,
the power went out.
172
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:18,296
So, I rushed home
to grab my generator
to power the lights.
173
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,950
Careful with that,
174
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,562
it is crucial to my plan
for world domination.
175
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,912
Your plan stops here, Brain.
176
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:27,349
Beast Boy,
take out that generator.
177
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,525
That's my specialty, yo!
178
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:33,616
That's right!
You's gettin' all them shrimps
and prime rib, generator!
179
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,836
-['90s R&B music playing]
-♪ Shrimps and prime rib
180
00:09:35,879 --> 00:09:38,708
♪ Shows you how much I care
181
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:41,581
♪ Shrimps and prime rib
182
00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:44,211
- ♪ Oh, baby, I'm cooking
Shrimps and prime rib ♪
- ♪ I'm cookin' medium-rare
183
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:48,588
- ♪ For you, I cook it
Medium-rare ♪
- ♪ Medium-rare, baby
184
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:51,634
♪ For you, I cook it
'Cause I care ♪
185
00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:55,464
Stop! That grease
is going to short the circuits.
186
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:03,733
Without that generator,
I had to cancel the game.
187
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:07,258
And when the kids found out,
they were furious.
188
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:10,610
I absolutely despise
the Titans' humor.
189
00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:12,350
"Take out that generator."
190
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:13,917
"Oh! Well, I get it.
191
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:15,615
Like, take it out to dinner."
192
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:18,530
Hmm,
that's actually pretty funny.
193
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,796
Mmm, sorry.
194
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:26,843
Well, gentlemen, I must say,
indulging in these
delicious frozen treats
195
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:30,717
and sharing these stories
has truly been cathartic
for me.
196
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,284
It's so much healthier to talk
about our problems
197
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:35,765
than it is to carry around
all that anger.
198
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:38,681
I'm not even mad
at the Titans anymore.
199
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:41,118
Then I propose,
that from this day forward,
200
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:43,338
we give up our hatred
for the Titans,
201
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,427
and instead,
202
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:48,430
meet here once a week
and discuss our problems
like mature adults.
203
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:49,605
Hear, hear!
204
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:57,744
Curse you, Titans!
205
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,223
Destroy them!