[bird crowing]
[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]
[elephant trumpeting, lion roaring]
♪ Go! ♪
[opening theme music playing]
♪ T-E-E-N ♪
♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪
♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪
♪ Teen Titans, go! ♪
[splashes]
What are we doing here, Robin?
- Are we going the fishing? - Nope.
- Doing some whale watching? - Nuh-uh.
Hitting up the maritime museum?
No.
Titans, we are here for a far more important reason.
We are going on a cruise.
[ship horn bellows]
- [Robin screams] - [all cheering]
[Cyborg] I love being trapped on a boat.
Welcome Titans, to the Trans Oceanic Magical Cruise.
Or the T-O-M Cruise for short.
[Beast Boy] Whoa! Check this place out.
[gasps] It's got a stage show with a real life vampire.
And a legendary petting zoo.
And an awesome race track.
Well, if you think that's cool,
check out the Impossible Buffet.
Oh, yeah!
I'mma get me a cheeseburger- lobster-rib steak-apple pie.
[all exclaiming]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
You can't just go waltzing in to the Impossible Buffet.
Why not?
Because it's guarded by the world's most advanced security system.
And one false move could get you blown to smithereens.
[automated voice] Thank you for visiting the Impossible Buffet.
Whoa, isn't that a little extreme for a buffet?
Everything the T-O-M Cruise does is a little extreme.
So how does one gain access to the Impossible Buffet?
Through that small vent in the ceiling.
Ooh! Getting in there sounds like an impossible mission.
Yeah, let's do this.
[spy music playing]
Robin, I can lower you down using this.
Sounds good, but be careful.
- Yeah, yeah just get in the hole. - [screams]
Easy, a little to the left.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
A little to the right.
Perfect.
Come on, man.
Sorry, I couldn't help it.
Yeah, no way he can carry that much food
with his tiny, little baby hands.
I do not have baby hands.
Step aside, my dude,
and let me show you how it's done.
[electricity crackling]
[Robin] Careful!
Hush your mouth, fool, and grab me some muffins.
Oh, give me a break, bro, you had that.
- [screams] - Let's go again.
No way, you just went.
- Oh! Oh! I wish to have the turn. - [gasps] Me too!
Cut it out up there.
[screaming]
- [dog barking] - [screaming]
Ow! I got some food.
Now pull me up.
What you get? What you get?
[scoffs] A lousy French fry?
Don't nobody want your sad looking fry.
Where are we gonna eat now?
Well, the theater probably has snacks.
- Raven, you're a genius, girl. - Great.
Now keep it down. I really wanna see this play.
What's the name of it?
Ooh! Interview With a Bloodsucker.
Ooh! Sounds so terrifying.
Yeah, that sounds super scary, yo.
[melancholy music playing]
Welcome, Mr. Vampire.
What job are you interviewing for today?
I wanna be a dance instructor.
Tell me, why should I hire you?
I have just always wanted to teach dance.
You know, I gotta dance.
Everybody just keeps biting people.
I was just, like, "It's about the dance, man."
Aw, mans, this ain't scary.
It's just a straight-up job interview.
I cannot watch this.
- Let's bounce, yo. - I'm gonna hang back.
I'm a real sucker when it comes to vampires.
Ha-ha.
Well, that was a bust.
No doubt. What now?
What do you wanna do next, yo?
Perhaps we could visit the legendary petting zoo.
Sure, but you go ahead.
- I need a minute alone with Cyborg and Beast Boy. - Okay.
Listen, guys,
I think this cruise is the perfect and most romantic place
to tell Starfire how much I care for her.
Oh, I get it.
You want to turn this ship into your own personal love boat.
So exciting and new.
Exactly, but it's never going to happen with you two hanging around.
No problemo, yo. We'll gets lost.
But first you gots to show us the money.
Excuse me?
You heard the man. If you want us gone, you gotta pay up.
Seriously?
Say it with me one time, "Show us the money."
[sighs] Show us the money.
Now it say all proper like Alfred.
[in British accent] Show us the money.
Now dark and gritty like Batman.
[grunting] Show us the money.
Now say it like Starfire.
Glorious! The show, the us, the money.
[laughs] You are over the edge, baby.
And I love that about you.
[both laughing]
Now take this and get out of here.
A pleasure doing business with you, bro.
Hey!
Oh! There are so many of the wonderful animals here.
[enchanting instrumental music playing]
[neighing]
Listen, Star,
I'm really nervous to tell you this,
so I'm just gonna say it.
You complete--
[neighs]
Well, hello there, Mr. Unicorn.
- Aren't you the adorable? - [Robin screaming in pain]
I shall name you the Sugarcone.
[groans]
Get lost, Sugarcone.
I'm trying to say something important.
- [Sugarcone neighs] - [Robin grunts]
[shouting] You complete--
Yo, we definitely gots to try this.
Okay, but I warn you
when it comes to driving,
I'm an underdog looking for something to prove.
Oh, yeah? Well, when it comes to flying,
I'm an underdog looking for something to prove.
Then let's race to see who's the most underdoggiest underdog there is.
I'm in.
[hair metal music playing]
[beeps]
[engine revving]
[beeps]
[jet engine powering up]
[beeps]
I got the need for speed.
Yo, hey!
So you wanna play rough?
[grunts]
[gasps] Where did he go?
I'm right here, bro.
Smile for the camera.
[Cyborg laughing]
See you at the finish line.
We'll just see about that.
He's got me on missile lock.
Good thing I brought a little collateral.
Goose!
That tears it.
Man, that's a life saver.
Oh, yeah? Well, ain't nothing gonna save you from this.
[grunts]
- [metal crunching] - [grunts]
[both yell]
- [both groan] - Oh, mans.
Now, we'll never know the answer to who the true underdog is.
- You wants the answer? - I want the truth.
We's both true underdogs.
What?
[both] We're never gonna win!
[both cheer]
This T-O-M Cruise is the best.
I'm so glad we got a chance to take this vacation.
It is pretty great.
Yes, it is.
- Except for the aliens. - What aliens?
- [rumbling] - [all exclaim]
[people screaming]
Ahhh! Why they's attacking us?
Because, the T-O-M Cruise always gets attacked by aliens.
And you knew this?
Of course. It's why I booked this cruise.
So we can put a stop to it.
But we don't have enough power to stop those things.
Yes, we do.
We can use the power of the T-O-M Cruise!
Aw, yeah!
Spin and hold and flip,
spin and launch.
♪ Dance instructor ♪
[electricity crackling]
[neighs]
I's going to send you aliens into Oblivion.
Beast Boy, get me close enough to plant this bomb.
Roger that.
[screams]
Oh, sorry, bro.
[screams]
My bad.
[screaming] Stop, stop, stop.
Don't worry, bro, I got this.
[Robin grunting]
[beeping]
Nice work, Titans. We did it.
Them aliens weren't so tough,
I could beat them with my Eyes Wide Shut.
We kicked their alien booties Far and Away.
And straight into the Edge of Tomorrow.
Did you hear that Tropic Thunder?
Just a second ago it was a Vanilla Sky.
Now the difference is Knight and Day.
We better get below deck before it storms.
No need to be so The Firm, Robin.
Yeah, it's just a little Rain Man.
That's not rain coming from those Magnolia shaped clouds.
- [croaks] - It's frogs.
[all grunting]
This T-O-M Cruise is nuts, man.