1 00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:05,422 Parker, what do you want in your lunch? Apple or banana? 2 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,590 Keep going until you get to cupcake. 3 00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,345 Good morning, fellow Rooneys. 4 00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:16,391 Today is the first day of the rest of your lives. With me. 5 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,811 Hey, Hollywood. Tomorrow, less time in the shower. 6 00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:23,231 You used up all the hot water. It makes it really hard to shave. 7 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,861 That's right, guys. I shave. 8 00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:31,364 Spread the word. 9 00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:36,244 Didn't bother me. I took a shower with the hose out front. 10 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:41,041 Oh come on, like the neighbors haven't seen that already. 11 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,922 Uh, what happened to my chair? 12 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:53,845 Oh, uh... Parker broke it over Joey's back when they were wrestling. 13 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,933 Correction, he was wrestling. I was eating soup. 14 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,062 You know, this is ridiculous. 15 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,356 You shouldn't have to stand to eat your breakfast. 16 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,565 Joey, get her a seat. 17 00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,159 Welcome home, Hollywood. 18 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:19,412 [THEME MUSIC PLAYS] 19 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:20,955 ♪ Better in stereo ♪ 20 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:23,083 ♪ B-- b-- better in stereo ♪ 21 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,251 -♪ I'm up with the sunshine ♪ -♪ Let's go ♪ 22 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,337 -♪ I lace up my high tops ♪ -♪ Oh no ♪ 23 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,673 -♪ Slam dunk ♪ -♪ Ready or not ♪ 24 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,008 ♪ Yeah, show me what you got ♪ 25 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,843 -♪ I'm under the spotlight ♪ -♪ Holler ♪ 26 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,845 ♪ I dare you, come on and follow ♪ 27 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,348 ♪ You dance to your own beat ♪ 28 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,974 ♪ I'll sing the melody ♪ 29 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,477 ♪ When you say yea-ah-ah ♪ 30 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,229 ♪ I say no-oh-oh ♪ 31 00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,815 ♪ When you say stop ♪ 32 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,983 ♪ All I want to do is go, go, go ♪ 33 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:52,529 ♪ You, you, the other half of me, me ♪ 34 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,447 ♪ The half I'll never be-e ♪ 35 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,701 ♪ The half that drives me crazy ♪ 36 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,829 ♪ You, you, the better half of me, me ♪ 37 00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:03,456 ♪ The half I'll always need ♪ 38 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,125 ♪ But we both know ♪ 39 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,335 ♪ We're better in stereo ♪ 40 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,924 12-minute mile, Maddie. What happened? 41 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,009 Oh, I ran two. 42 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,679 Nice, Cassie. Personal best. 43 00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:20,223 Last time I walked because I didn't want to get a blister. 44 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,851 But I ran this time because I was being chased by a squirrel. 45 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,146 Look at you. Stains. 46 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:30,692 School bus ran through a puddle and splashed me. [SNIFFS] 47 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,111 Team meeting, everybody. Grab some water. 48 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,988 Hustle it up, Willow. Hustle up. 49 00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:37,365 [GIRLS GASPING AND GROANING] 50 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:45,498 [PANTS THEN SIGHS] 51 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:48,126 My dogs have been barking since sycamore street. 52 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,880 Oh wait, were you guys using this? 53 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:56,134 Okay, don't forget. Team retreat, my house, this weekend. 54 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,219 Also, your votes are in. 55 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:02,891 And the Ridgewood High Fighting Porcupines have themselves a new team captain. 56 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,726 [CHEERS] 57 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:07,854 She's the first sophomore ever chosen. 58 00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:11,149 -Maddie Rooney. -[CHEERING] 59 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,568 Basketball is my life. 60 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:16,488 And being named captain of the team was huge for me. 61 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,365 I might have played it cool in front of the girls, 62 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,576 but I also might have gone home and squealed in my closet. 63 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:22,702 [SQUEALS] 64 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:25,080 You're gonna be a great captain, Maddie. 65 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:28,124 Unless you're really bad and the whole team turns against you. 66 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,628 While I was away, Maddie got to be really good friends 67 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,713 with her basketball teammates. 68 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:38,301 Sweet girls, but they're all kind of like the "before" in a makeover show. 69 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:42,222 What? It means they have potential. 70 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,848 [LAUGHTER] 71 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:51,856 Uh, Principal Fickman, what are you doing? Is it Polly the Porcupine's birthday? 72 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,733 It most certainly is not. 73 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:56,236 Someone out there thinks it's a big hee-haw 74 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,779 to keep dressing up the mascot. 75 00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:00,365 Well, I'm neither hee-ing nor haw-ing. 76 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,118 [CHUCKLES] 77 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,994 It's a travesty, sir. 78 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,749 I've been making budget cuts and girls' basketball got hit hard. 79 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:14,713 The good news isI got you the new uniforms you requested. 80 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,214 -Yeah! -Whoo! 81 00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:19,676 The bad news is they're the boys' old uniforms, sweaty and unlaundered. 82 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:25,598 No, we need new uniforms. We're going to a tournament in Chicago. 83 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,976 Yeah, the Walter Worciechowski Invitational. 84 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,437 It took me three days to learn how to say it. 85 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,148 I'm only funding things the student body cares about. 86 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,233 People care about girls' basketball. 87 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:38,778 Oh... [WHEEZES THEN CHUCKLES] 88 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,656 Sure they do. And you keep telling yourself that. 89 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:46,119 Principal Fickman, we're not gonna let you treat us this way. 90 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,203 Right, team? 91 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,833 Well, if you'll excuse me, I promised mother 92 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:55,879 I'd be home in time for "Wheel of fortune!" 93 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,088 -Principal Fickman-- -Yeah? 94 00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:58,465 Before you go, [SNAPS] 95 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:04,637 Would you like a nice, cold glass of water? STYLE ::cue() 96 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:08,058 -Well, I would. Thank you. -[QUIETLY] Yeah. 97 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,521 -Refreshing. -Yeah. 98 00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:18,360 [GIGGLES] Please tell me you still have athlete's foot. 99 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:19,944 -Raging. -Good girl. 100 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,118 -Hey, Joey. -[HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM] 101 00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,330 Oh, what are you doing with a tarantula? 102 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:33,249 Her name is Sylvia. And she's the class pet. 103 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,876 I'm taking care of them for the weekend. 104 00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:36,169 Them? 105 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,630 Parker, I only see the one. 106 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:42,300 [NERVOUSLY CHUCKLES] Yeah, I, uh, already lost the other five 107 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,052 when I let them out of their cage. 108 00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:47,555 What? Oh, why would you let them out of their cage? 109 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:51,601 Duh. To train them for the all-tarantula circus. 110 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,229 [HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM] 111 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,773 All right, caught one. 112 00:05:56,856 --> 00:06:02,028 It's either Julie the trapeze artist or Bernardo the sword swallower. 113 00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,405 [SIGHS] 114 00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:05,490 Four more to go. [CAR HORN HONKS] 115 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,409 Oh, okay, Parker, that is mom. 116 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,327 And you cannot tell her anything about this. 117 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:12,580 Okay? If she finds out that there are a bunch of spiders crawling around, 118 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:13,957 she will freak out! 119 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,417 Okay, act natural. 120 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,544 Oh, hi, boys. 121 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:22,090 Listen, Maddie's basketball team is gonna be here all weekend. 122 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,299 Hey, hey, hey. Eyes on me. 123 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,471 So this weekend, don't cause any trouble, okay? 124 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,849 [SCOFFS] Trouble? 125 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,184 Who do you think you're talking to, lady? 126 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,770 -Milady. KAREN: Mm-hm. 127 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,900 No one on the team had my back. 128 00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,278 -It's just so-- -"Frustrappointing." 129 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,992 That's not a real word, yet somehow I know exactly what it means. 130 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:51,161 How do you do that? 131 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,954 Oh, it's a gift. 132 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,875 I don't know. Maybe I'm just not cut out to be captain. 133 00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,543 I have no idea what to do. 134 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,546 -I do. -[SNORTS] Please. 135 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:05,842 You don't have a clue about basketball. 136 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,595 Maddie, this is about leadership. On... 137 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,847 ♪ Sing it loud... ♪ 138 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,017 My cast was a team and I led them 139 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,436 through four critically-acclaimed seasons of television. 140 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,772 -Wanna know how I did it? -No. 141 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:22,150 Okay, there are five steps to leadership. 142 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,277 One, grab their attention. 143 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,738 Two, get them on the same page. 144 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:29,282 Three, identify your goal. 145 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:33,370 Four, lead them into battle. And five, look great doing it. 146 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,874 You know, if I imagined those words not coming out of your mouth, 147 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,876 they actually kind of make sense. 148 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,879 Okay. Step one. 149 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,339 Grab their attention. 150 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,925 In Hollywood, they always say the best way to do that 151 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,219 is by firing someone on your first day of work. 152 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,471 [SNORTS] Liv, I'm not firing any of my friends. 153 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,473 [MELODRAMATIC GROAN] 154 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,894 Do I have to connect all the dots for you? 155 00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:01,439 I will join the team. And you can fire me for being terrible. 156 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,191 The team will know you mean business 157 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:06,319 if you are ruthless enough to crush your twin's fake dream. 158 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,322 Liv, that's actually kind of brilliant. 159 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,283 And I do love the idea of firing you. 160 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,163 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 161 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,666 Listen up, Lady Porcupines. 162 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:23,753 We have the tournament in Chicago in three weeks. 163 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:27,924 This retreat is about coming together and becoming a real team. 164 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:31,011 Yeah, that means if a girl puts herself out on the line, 165 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,972 like, say, in front of the principal, 166 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:36,975 you better back her up. 167 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,144 So to get us started, I got us all team bracelets. 168 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,146 [GASPS THEN GIGGLES] 169 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,647 "Got your back." 170 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,691 Oh, cool. [BRACELET SNAPS] 171 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,401 Mine broke. 172 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,820 You know what? It's okay. I have plenty extra. 173 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,114 I had to buy like 500 to get the discount, so... 174 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,615 How about some passing drills? 175 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:53,700 -Hold up, Dad. -Yeah? 176 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,994 One more thing. We have a new teammate. 177 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,414 Great. Can she play center? 178 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,249 We got no "D" if Willow goes down. 179 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,793 Willow doesn't go down! 180 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:09,549 Please, everybody, welcome all the way from Hollywood, 181 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,510 Liv Rooney. 182 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,098 [APPLAUSE] 183 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,558 Thank you. 184 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:23,271 It is an honor to be nominated in the same category 185 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,607 as these other very talented women. 186 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,026 [LIGHT CLAPPING] 187 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,903 Okay. 188 00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,446 Welcome aboard, Liv. 189 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,697 [WHIMPERS] 190 00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:39,412 So, Hollywood Big Shot, what position do you play? 191 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,206 Oh. [GIGGLES] 192 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,375 I'm usually the lead. 193 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:49,506 Great job, team. Great job. Anybody need water? 194 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,757 Ooh! 195 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,052 Dad, we seriously need a new watercooler. 196 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:57,472 Not in the budget. Got some juice boxes the garage. 197 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:58,807 Captain's in charge. 198 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,309 Okay, everybody, let's start with some layups. 199 00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:02,477 Liv, you first. Catch. 200 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:05,855 No, sorry. I'm not touching that ball. STYLE ::cue() 201 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:10,402 It's heavy and it's just... [LAUGHS] It's such a boring color. 202 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:14,197 Liv, being on this team requires hard work. 203 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,326 And if you're not up for that, then maybe you're not cut out for this. 204 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,995 Wait, are you... 205 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,124 Kicking me off the team? 206 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,463 I'm devastated. [BREATHES DEEPLY] Devastated. 207 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,174 Liv, i'm the captain. I've made my decision. 208 00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:34,926 Go. 209 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:39,055 Attention officially grabbed. Step one, complete. 210 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,474 I see. 211 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:45,270 Don't cry for me, Lady Porcupines. 212 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,190 I'll be all right. 213 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,277 Somehow. 214 00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,947 You can't kick Liv off the team. 215 00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,741 -I can't? -She can't? 216 00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:01,661 Willow's right. Liv is terrible, but she'll learn. 217 00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,329 We all had to. 218 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:05,081 She's our teammate now. 219 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,791 And we have to "Back her up." 220 00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:09,210 Just like you said, man. 221 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,882 [CLICKS TONGUE] I did say that, didn't I? 222 00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,717 Mm! Why did I say that? 223 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,555 Okay. 224 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:25,852 Liv, I guess you are back on the team. 225 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,520 [STRAINED] Yay. 226 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:33,360 TEAM: One, two, three, go Porcupines! -[MOUTHS] Porcupines. 227 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,236 Porcupines! 228 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:57,842 BOYS: [WHISPERING] ♪ The itsy bitsy spider ♪ 229 00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:00,679 ♪ Went up the waterspout ♪ 230 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,724 ♪ Down camethe rain... ♪ 231 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,102 Crashing a girls' sleepover? 232 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:08,895 Not cool, brahs. 233 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:12,148 [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] Oh, she caught us. 234 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,150 We were just trying to cause mischief. 235 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:18,947 Oh. Great, now I'm awake. I need a snack. 236 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:23,284 Hey, is it cool if we look through your sleeping bag while you're gone? 237 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,495 I don't know what you're looking for, 238 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,414 but I do know you look stupid doing it. 239 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,127 Liv, what are you doing in here? 240 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,170 Oh, I don't sleep in bags. 241 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:40,010 So listen, I'm sorry my plan kind of backfired and blew up in our faces today. 242 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,886 Liv, what are you talking about? 243 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,848 I mean, I know it didn't go the way we thought it would, 244 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:50,186 but when I saw the team rally around you, I saw passion for the first time. 245 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,522 [SQUEAKS] Faboosh. 246 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,191 We are now officially ready for step two. 247 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,027 Remind me what step two is again. 248 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,611 Getting the team on the same page. 249 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:01,740 -Perfect. First thing in the morn-- GIRL: Tarantula! 250 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:06,870 [GIRLS SCREAMING] 251 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,498 Yes! Caught another one. 252 00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:14,252 Joan, the troubled ringmaster from a broken home. 253 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,670 Was it divorce? 254 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:17,714 No, I literally stepped on her home. 255 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:24,637 Okay, guys. 256 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:27,474 Guys, you call these warm-ups? 257 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,769 The first thing any opposing team is gonna see from us 258 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,812 is how we warm up, right? 259 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:39,694 They need to know that we think as one, play as one, and win as one. 260 00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,280 We'll still go to the bathroom on our own though, right? 261 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,200 [EXHALES] 262 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,369 [BANGS LOUDLY] 263 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:48,495 [BANGS REPEATEDLY] 264 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:54,626 I want you all to reach deep into your soul. 265 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,212 And find your inner warrior. 266 00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:01,883 Who is she? What makes her so fierce? 267 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:05,136 What accessories can we use to highlight 268 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,055 all that fierceness? 269 00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:09,891 I have no clue what she's saying, 270 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,018 but I'm listening because she seems confident 271 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,187 and she carries a big stick. 272 00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:20,485 Take a moment. 273 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,571 Close your eyes. 274 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,372 I thought we were just gonna learn new warm-ups. 275 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,208 It's a process. 276 00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:40,088 Ahh! Ew. 277 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,717 Why are these dishes all covered in cobwebs? 278 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,136 [CHUCKLES] That's a-- 279 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,263 That's so weird. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] 280 00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:52,892 Yeah, you wouldn't expect tarantulas here in Wisconsin. 281 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,939 [SIGHS] I'm glad you guys are here. You can help me serve lunch. 282 00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,024 [GASPS] 283 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,526 -It's beautiful. -Whoa. 284 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:06,406 I'm feeding athletes. I went big. Here, help me take it outside. 285 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:08,408 Parker, honey, can you open the door? STYLE ::cue() 286 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,910 Come and get it! 287 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:15,206 Now this is for the team, but don't worry. You boys get leftovers. 288 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,834 -Oh, oh, oh! GIRL: Lunch time! 289 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:18,918 [GIRLS CLAMORING] 290 00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,588 Please, don't grab at it! Oh! 291 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,381 At least let us set it down! 292 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,216 [SHOUTING] 293 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:31,931 Oh. 294 00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,642 This was a two-day retreat. 295 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:37,645 Yeah, 296 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:40,273 And we've been working on some new warm-ups so we wanna show you. 297 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,691 Oh! Places. 298 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:47,614 [SIGHS] Now remember, find your inner warrior. 299 00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,491 Five, six, seven, eight. 300 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,326 Huh! Huh! 301 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,036 Huh! Huh! Huh! 302 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,579 Huh! 303 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,706 Huh! Huh! 304 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,375 Huh! 305 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,628 [SHOUTING] 306 00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:07,050 That was amazing. 307 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,927 [CHEERS] 308 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:13,640 If Fickman could see you now, he'd never say no. 309 00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:15,642 No. 310 00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:19,688 Now, if you'll excuse me, 311 00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:24,192 I have to finish barbecuing these exquisite steaks for the boys' team. 312 00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:27,195 They're having their retreat inside. 313 00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,613 Unacceptable. 314 00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:32,242 We can't go to the Worciechowski tournament in those uniforms you gave us. 315 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,993 Oh, that is a problem. 316 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:38,707 But I think I have a solution. 317 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,083 You're not going to the tournament. 318 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,836 What? You can't do that. 319 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,838 I think I just did. 320 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:53,471 Okay, guys. We were shut down by Fickman again. 321 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,098 And that was a real kick to the stomach. 322 00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,725 But if he's not gonna help us, 323 00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,935 we're not gonna sit around and cry about it. Am I right? 324 00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:00,895 We're gonna help ourselves. 325 00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:03,148 Stains, would you come out here, please? 326 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:10,488 This is what Principal Fickman thinks we're worth. 327 00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:12,115 Are we gonna stand for this? 328 00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,576 Stains, catch. 329 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,831 This is madness! 330 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,586 I bet the boys don't worry about their pants falling off. 331 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,255 Are we gonna take this sitting down? 332 00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:28,882 Willow doesn't go down! 333 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,550 -[GRUNTS] -[GRUNTS] 334 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:31,676 [BANGS] 335 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,054 Attention, Lady Groundhogs. 336 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:36,181 Uh, we're the Porcupines. 337 00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,058 Whatever. 338 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,226 Cue music. 339 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,396 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYS] 340 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,816 Behold your future uniforms. 341 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,110 This sporty sport short looks great on the court 342 00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:50,904 or just sitting on the bench. 343 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,865 That's me. I sit the bench. 344 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,242 I'm gonna look great. [SNIFFS] 345 00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:58,286 [CLEARS THROAT] 346 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,081 The b-ball tank is perfect for all that dribbily, drabbily, shooty stuff 347 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,165 you girls love to do. 348 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,210 Dunk-tastic, am I right? 349 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,337 I wanna get married in that. 350 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,590 We need those uniforms. 351 00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:13,218 We can't let Fickman ruin Willow's wedding. 352 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:18,598 And we have our common goal. Step three achieved. 353 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,059 We're all ears, captain. 354 00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,310 How do we get them? 355 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,437 [RUSTLES] This is how. 356 00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:28,358 We're gonna raise money for those uniforms by selling these bracelets to the kids 357 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,026 at school who do support us. 358 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,237 -Are you with me? ALL: Yeah! 359 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,739 Are we gonna tell Principal Fickman he can't push us around? 360 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,241 ALL: Yeah! 361 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,076 Does everyone want stains to pull up her pants? 362 00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:39,536 Yeah! 363 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,832 [CRICKET CHIRPING] 364 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:46,209 Parker, what are you doing? Stop. 365 00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,627 Eating a cricket. 366 00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:50,755 To catch a tarantula, you have to eat like a tarantula. 367 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,675 Okay, and where did you hear that? 368 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,761 Oh, the man in my head. He comes up with all kinds of cool things. 369 00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,306 Oh, okay, yeah. No, please, carry on. 370 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:04,394 Stop! Put the bug down. What's going on? 371 00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:07,147 Okay, fine. I'm tired of the lies. I-- 372 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:11,192 I brought home tarantulas from school, and they kind of sort of got out. 373 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:15,321 There are gross, hairy tarantulas crawling around our house somewhere? 374 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,073 Find them. Now. 375 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,617 [CHUCKLES] I know this is completely in my head, 376 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:22,871 but I feel like I can feel them crawling all over me. 377 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:25,248 Mom-- 378 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,208 What is it? 379 00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:30,253 Just-- we love you. [FAKE LAUGHS] 380 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,298 Aw. I love you guys too. [BLOWS KISS] 381 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:44,309 Joke's on you, students. 382 00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,020 Mother's gonna love this. 383 00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,982 -Principal Fickman-- -Too late. I've got dibs. 384 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,402 Okay. 385 00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:57,197 The girls' basketball team decided that we weren't gonna wait for you 386 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,158 to come through for us, so we took matters into our own hands. 387 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,411 -Are you with me Ridgewood High? CROWD: Yeah! 388 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,080 Okay, what's going on? 389 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,499 You're about to see steps four and five, 390 00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:09,626 marching into battle and looking good doing it. STYLE ::cue() 391 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,461 Joey, cue my jam. 392 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,547 [LIV SNAPS] [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS] 393 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,143 [LOUD CLANG] 394 00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,947 Thanks for the loaners, but we don't need these anymore. 395 00:20:40,532 --> 00:20:43,660 You said money only goes to the things the student body cares about. 396 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:44,744 Well, look around. 397 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:47,455 I said look! 398 00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:48,873 [MOUTHS] Oh. 399 00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:52,502 [NERVOUSLY LAUGHS] She meant look, please. 400 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,129 We're working on manners. 401 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:58,049 I hate to say it, but I have a new respect for you girls. 402 00:20:58,508 --> 00:20:59,509 [CHUCKLES] 403 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,219 Really hate to say it. 404 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,848 Are you gonna send us to the Worciechowski tournament? 405 00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:08,893 I can find room in the budget for that. 406 00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:12,063 [ALL CHEERING] 407 00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:14,524 All right, make way, people. I've got to get to the yearbook folks 408 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:17,277 and tell them I'm just gonna print last year's edition again. 409 00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:20,822 Sorry, ninth graders, you lose. 410 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,825 [LAUGHS AND SIGHS] 411 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,911 Wait, I'm a ninth grader. 412 00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:29,748 That was the best picture I've ever taken. Wait, please, stop, no! 413 00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:32,834 Nice work. 414 00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:36,046 My porcupine quills feel a little sharper because of you, captain. 415 00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:38,006 [GRUNTS] 416 00:21:38,757 --> 00:21:40,425 We really have to thank Liv. 417 00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:43,511 I can't believe I'm saying this, 418 00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:45,680 but you are the best teammate I've ever had. 419 00:21:47,098 --> 00:21:49,309 I mean, I never could have rallied the team without you. 420 00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:51,478 Maddie, that's so sweet. 421 00:21:52,729 --> 00:21:54,356 We both know I'm quitting though, right? 422 00:21:55,398 --> 00:21:57,692 -I already cleaned out your fake locker. -[MOUTHS] Okay. 423 00:21:59,903 --> 00:22:02,364 All right, Fighting Porcupines, let's bounce. 424 00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:28,098 Hey, Joey. 425 00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:30,517 It was fun hanging at your place this weekend. 426 00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:33,103 That's a cool sandwich you're eating. 427 00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:37,774 I am not eating a sandwich. 428 00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:40,610 I know, but when I practiced this moment at home, 429 00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:43,238 I imagined it going down at lunch. 430 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,783 Okay, uh, so... 431 00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:50,328 What is happening? 432 00:22:52,414 --> 00:22:53,498 I heart you. 433 00:22:54,749 --> 00:22:55,959 Do you now? 434 00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:58,837 Do you heart me back? 435 00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:01,798 Not quite sure what to say. 436 00:23:03,425 --> 00:23:04,551 I didn't hear a no. 437 00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:07,178 This man is my property! 438 00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:08,388 I own Joey Rooney! 439 00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:12,308 And I will crush anyone I catch looking at him! 440 00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:14,644 Does that make you feel protected and secure? 441 00:23:16,771 --> 00:23:18,982 Oddly, yes. Yes, it does. 442 00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:21,943 Good-bye, my little man.