1 00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:03,628 You nervous? 2 00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:05,338 I got you surrounded. 3 00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:09,509 If I roll a nine or a six, it's over. 4 00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:13,054 Do you need some tissue in case you start crying when you lose? 5 00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:19,436 You gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite? 6 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,895 [RATTLING] 7 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,105 When I first moved to Hollywood, 8 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:26,693 my little brother Parker was 6 and still wore footsie choo-choo train pajamas. 9 00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:28,278 [CHUCKLES] 10 00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,738 He's grown up a lot since then. 11 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,367 Yes! A five! 12 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:38,747 Monkey bubble time! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! 13 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,290 [MADDIE MIMICS EXPLOSION] 14 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,335 My sister Maddie, not so much. 15 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,671 We're playing a board game we invented while you were in Hollywood. 16 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:49,966 It's a mash-up between I Rule the World and Stack It and Smack It. 17 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,344 We call it I Smack Your World. 18 00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:56,431 BOTH: Two, four, six! [HOLLER] 19 00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:57,974 Smack it! 20 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,437 I mean, the two of them have had four years together 21 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:07,442 to make up games and build forts and play in dirt. 22 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,569 But now it is time for me to do all those things with Parker. 23 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:10,653 [SQUEALS] 24 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,823 You know, minus the games, forts, and dirt part. 25 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,825 MADDIE: You wanna play? LIV: Sure, yeah. 26 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,410 Um, do I require a helmet? 27 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,872 A helmet? Come on, Hollywood. 28 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:24,834 Join us in the real world, where we like a little smack in the head. 29 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,338 Yeah, this game actually gets really intense. 30 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:29,881 Mom banned us from playing in the living room 31 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:31,675 because one time Parker rolled a 10, 32 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:35,303 and on his ninth cartwheel, knocked over great gram's urn. 33 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:41,309 But her memory still lives on, in the dirt vac. 34 00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:45,355 Huh. So I missed out on getting to know Parker, 35 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:48,066 and I think I might have missed a funeral. 36 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,567 [GIGGLES] 37 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,611 I thought great gram was still with us. 38 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:53,613 Oops. 39 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:56,616 [THEME MUSIC PLAYS] 40 00:01:56,700 --> 00:02:00,328 ♪ Better in stereo ♪ Better in stereo ♪ 41 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,497 ♪ I'm up with the sunshine Let's go ♪ 42 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,666 ♪ I lace up my high tops Oh, no ♪ 43 00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,501 ♪ Slam dunk Ready or not ♪ 44 00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:09,004 ♪ Yeah, show me what you got ♪ 45 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:11,256 ♪ I'm under the spotlight Holler ♪ 46 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,258 ♪ I dare you, come on and follow ♪ 47 00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:17,178 ♪ You dance to your own beat I'll sing the melody ♪ 48 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:21,641 ♪ When you say yeah I say no ♪ 49 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:26,354 ♪ When you say stop All I wanna do is go, go, go ♪ 50 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:31,776 ♪ You, you, the other half of me, me The half I'll never be ♪ 51 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,988 ♪ The half that drives me crazy ♪ 52 00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:40,660 ♪ You, you, the better half of me, me The half I'll always need ♪ 53 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:44,456 ♪ But we both know We're better in stereo ♪ 54 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:51,963 All right, Karen, tonight's the last night the Pastrami Palace is open. You ready? 55 00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:55,925 What's wrong? 56 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,553 [NASALLY] Hi, honey. 57 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:04,559 I'm trying to loosen my phlegm, so we can go, but I am so sick. 58 00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:05,894 [NORMAL VOICE] Oh, I was sick. 59 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,687 Sick of that Pastrami Palace. 60 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:10,690 We've been there four times since he found out it was closing. 61 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,901 So I faked a little flu to get out of going. 62 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:16,363 See, a big part of a healthy marriage is strategic lying. 63 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,365 [NASALLY] I'd suck it up, 64 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,159 but I'd hate to ruin your night of pastrami. 65 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,287 [NORMAL VOICE] I'd hate to ruin my night 66 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,706 of six episodes of Downton Abbey. 67 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,041 [SHARPLY INHALES] 68 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,793 [BRITISH ACCENT] But I love you, Mr. Bates. 69 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:32,879 Hey, Liv. 70 00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,799 Wanna come with me and eat your weight in pastrami? 71 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:39,886 Oh, ha-ha. I would love to, but I just had pastrami, like, three years ago. 72 00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:43,807 All right. I guess I'll just have to eat enough for everybody. 73 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:47,560 Um, use the downstairs bathroom when you get home. 74 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:51,815 [SIREN WAILING ON TV] 75 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,776 Joey, it's Friday night. What are you doing sitting around? 76 00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,444 You should be out with your friends. 77 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:57,529 [TIRES SCREECHING ON TV] 78 00:03:57,612 --> 00:04:02,534 [CHUCKLES] Dad, I am with 12 of my friends right now. 79 00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:08,373 Playing Wheels of Anger 6: I Just Stole Your Car. 80 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,918 No, yeah one second, Harold. 81 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,169 I got a P.O.S. 82 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,922 Parent over shoulder. 83 00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:19,676 [TIRES SCREECH] [CLICKS OFF] 84 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:20,802 Oh, Dad! 85 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,763 Listen, Joey, when I was your age, 86 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:27,809 there was no way you would have caught me at home on a Friday night. 87 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:30,270 I'd have been out having fun. 88 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,231 I'm fun. 89 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,026 Sure you are, Dad. 90 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,779 And I'm super athletic and super smooth with the ladies. 91 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:45,994 Listen, I'm headed out to my old high school hangout the Pastrami Palace. 92 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:51,916 Why don't you come with me, and I'll show you some real fun? 93 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,251 [DOORBELL RINGS] 94 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:56,379 Dad, there is absolutely nothing that could happen 95 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,298 to make me want to do that. STYLE ::cue() 96 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,219 WILLOW: Hi, Joey. -[SCREAMS, CLEARS THROAT] 97 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:07,974 I'm here to study with Maddie, but I wore new body spray in case I saw you. 98 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,100 Take a whiff! 99 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,729 It's okay, Willow. I can smell it from here. 100 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,439 I'm just gotta bolt, though. 101 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:17,525 I have a date with my dad and fun. 102 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:20,028 [LAUGHS] So much fun. 103 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,115 I think I'm too shy. 104 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,622 Sorry about that cold, mom. 105 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:34,668 You know, you need some chicken soup and, uh, acting lessons. 106 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,629 Dad might believe you're really sick, 107 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,298 but, one actress to another, you are no actress. 108 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:42,967 I'm so relieved. 109 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,178 I didn't wanna have to pretend to be sick all night. 110 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:51,851 Your dad's out. Parker's leaving for a sleepover with his karate buddies. 111 00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:54,938 That means I've got a date with [ENGLISH ACCENT] Downton Abbey. 112 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,482 [NORMAL VOICE] Do not interrupt except for fire. 113 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,151 PARKER: Mom! 114 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:03,822 Ready for the sleepover? 115 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,324 [NASALLY] Yup, I got you packed up and ready to go. 116 00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:09,202 Uh, go where? The sleepover's here. 117 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:11,913 Oh, no, no, no, Parker. I've got it marked on the calendar. 118 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:14,290 Your sleepover is at our house. 119 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:18,920 You forgot? My dojo bros are coming any minute. 120 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:23,883 This party has to be epic. I need playground buzz at school. 121 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,135 "Playground buzz"? 122 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,345 Look, I need kids to be talking about this at recess, 123 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,889 so I get invited to other parties. 124 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:34,310 Parker, I'm gonna chaperone your party! 125 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,229 PARKER & KAREN: You are? 126 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,150 Yeah. I mean, Mom is way too sick to do it. 127 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,069 [COUGHS] I am. I am so sick. I am so sick. 128 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,197 -Thanks, Liv. LIV: Yeah. Oh! Wait, Mom. 129 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,449 Don't forget this. 130 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:50,452 And remember, do not use these tissues too quickly 131 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,578 or else you'll get a brain freeze. 132 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:52,787 [CHUCKLES] 133 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,123 [SQUEALS, GIGGLES] 134 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:03,340 Just remember, the entire future of my social life is riding on this night. 135 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,717 [DOORBELL RINGS] They're here! 136 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,512 [CHEERING] 137 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,222 Come on in, guys. 138 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:13,350 This is my sister Liv. 139 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:17,395 Liv, this is Cooper, Isaac, Kalden, Jack, Richie and Steve. 140 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:20,315 Oh, and that's Evan. He's a year younger, but he's cool. 141 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,693 Come on, guys. Party starts upstairs. 142 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:24,986 [BOYS WHOOPING, CHEERING] 143 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,322 Have fun. [GIGGLES] 144 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:32,702 Hi, I'm Evan! My mom wants proof that I was well-behaved. 145 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,289 Can you initial the box that says "greeted the host of party politely"? 146 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:41,920 Evan. [CHUCKLES] You just said hi. It's not like you brought me flowers. 147 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,004 [LAUGHS] 148 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:48,009 I'm messing with you. Ha-ha-ha. Of course, I'll sign. 149 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,636 Is this your first time at a sleepover? 150 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,764 Because I am sure you will do great. 151 00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:53,848 Me too! 152 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:57,769 I have tons of self-confidence because that's an important part of character. 153 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,731 Well, you certainly are a character. 154 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:05,276 Thanks. Mind putting that in the additional comment section? 155 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:10,615 Oh, and this is my mom's phone number, in case there's any kind of emergency. 156 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,701 I really don't think that's gonna happen. 157 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:13,827 Really? 158 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,247 I was hoping things would get nuts, and I'd end up in a cast or something. 159 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,875 -Evan, you don't get out much, do you? EVAN: Never. 160 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:24,713 [BOYS HOLLERING] 161 00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:25,964 What was that? 162 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,674 Is that what fun sounds like? 163 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,093 [LAUGHS] I don't know. 164 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:33,388 [CHANTING] Do it! Do it! Do it! 165 00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:34,931 [CRASHING] 166 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:39,811 [CHEERING] 167 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,942 And that's how you start a party. 168 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,194 [LAUGHS] 169 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,908 Hey. 170 00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,286 Seriously? Books already? 171 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,747 How about a quick game of one on one before we start? 172 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,916 Maddie, we gotta get this History assignment done. It's half our grade. 173 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,460 And Willow don't flunk! 174 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:06,921 Willow, relax. 175 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:09,382 You know I work best when I put everything off until the last minute. 176 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,052 I mean, how bad can this be? It's the French Revolution. 177 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,762 I saw Les Mis. 178 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,723 Did you even look at the assignment? 179 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,016 Yeah. [CLEARS THROAT] 180 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,978 "I heart Joey. Mrs. Willow Rooney. Willow Rooney..." 181 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,440 Wrong notebook. 182 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,028 "Write a page report." 183 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,781 What? Willow, we can't do this all in one night! 184 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,282 Why put this off until the last second? 185 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,950 You know this is half our grade! 186 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:41,081 "Or you may submit a visual representation of the era." 187 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,042 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 188 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:48,004 -Oh, yeah. We build a giant baguette! MADDIE: Guillotine! 189 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,967 Guillotine's better. We'll use it to slice our baguette. 190 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,052 BOTH: Yes! 191 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,428 [GRUNTS] 192 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,099 So, uh, quick game of one on one before we start? 193 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,600 WILLOW: Madison! MADDIE: Fine. STYLE ::cue() 194 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,232 [CLICKING] 195 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,192 Oh, come on! 196 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,653 We're hanging and having fun. 197 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,864 Life doesn't happen on a video screen. 198 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,491 [SIREN BLARES] 199 00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,743 Oh man! 200 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:21,955 Any chance I can get my phone back? 201 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,123 I like to post a picture of you 202 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,375 getting a ticket for texting while driving. 203 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,626 [PETE SIGHS] 204 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,213 Say, "Pastrami." [CAMERA CLICKS] 205 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:36,469 [BOYS SHOUTING] 206 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:43,351 [TOY GUNS CLICKING] 207 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,896 Cease fire! 208 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,189 Cease fire. 209 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,192 PARKER: Everyone having fun? ALL: Yeah. 210 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:53,820 We're definitely gonna be talking about this on Monday. 211 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,697 Remember your favorite anecdotes. 212 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,951 Are you kidding? This party rocks. I never get to do this. 213 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,828 Use fun blasters inside? 214 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,913 No, stay up past 7:30! 215 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,625 Oh, Mom, you made snacks for us? 216 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:11,421 Oh. For you. 217 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,049 I thought you were too sick. 218 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,800 [SNEEZES] 219 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,803 Oh, no. It's all contaminated. 220 00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:22,057 I'll have to throw this out in the garbage can in my room. 221 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,727 Liv, where are you? 222 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,105 My sister says she has a surprise for us. 223 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:33,526 No spoilers from me, but let's just say she's friends with the Rock. 224 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:37,280 His movies are not age appropriate for me. 225 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:41,493 Okay, I have got something totally... 226 00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:43,286 ♪ Coolsies for you guys ♪ 227 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,580 Everyone get in a circle and sit crisscross applesauce. 228 00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:51,878 Tell me she did not just say, "Crisscross applesauce." 229 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,381 You're all going to love this, 230 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:57,425 and I know that because dinosaurs have always been Parker's favorite. 231 00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:01,304 [CAWS] 232 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,430 She's choking! 233 00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:05,058 My mom prepared me for this. I'll give her the Heimlich. 234 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:08,728 Oh. Evan, honey, I'm not choking. 235 00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,773 That is just my pterodactyl impression. 236 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,734 It would have been better if she was choking. 237 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,780 Who is ready for some duck, duck... 238 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,032 ♪ Dinosaur ♪ 239 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:24,619 Duck. 240 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:26,871 Duck. 241 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,124 Duck. 242 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,462 Dinosaur! Whoo! [LAUGHING] 243 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,131 Yes! [LAUGHS] 244 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:38,842 Whoo. Come on. Get up and chase me. 245 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,135 [LAUGHS] 246 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,594 Catch me! 247 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,346 Whoo! 248 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:47,183 Dude, even my mom would think this was lame. 249 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:51,563 Come on, guys. Let's go eat something without washing our hands. 250 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,067 Where are you going? 251 00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,028 -Duck, duck, dinosaur? LIV: Yeah. 252 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,030 Liv, what were you thinking? 253 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,281 I thought you loved this game. 254 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,824 When I was 6! 255 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:07,495 Way to embarrass me in front of my karate buddies. 256 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,539 You're killing my playground buzz. 257 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,083 Parker... 258 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,503 [HORN HONKS] 259 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,048 Beat it, Terry. It's not happening. 260 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,383 [HORN HONKS SADLY] 261 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,306 [BOTH LAUGH] 262 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,932 We rocked this guillotine! 263 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,268 Who knew carpentry camp would pay off, right? 264 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:36,399 You ready to get your slice on? Bring out the prisoner! 265 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,819 [FRENCH ACCENT] Baguette, for crimes against the state, 266 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:44,366 having too many carbs, and fraternizing with the American cheese, 267 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,450 I condemn you! 268 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,043 WILLOW: Oh! [LAUGHS] 269 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,087 Maddie, I need your help. 270 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,466 So how's the sleepover going? Are you and Parker buds yet? 271 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,052 Hardly. I tried playing duck, duck, dinosaur, 272 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,763 and it was a disaster of Jurassic proportions. 273 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,683 Yeah, Liv, he kind of grew out of dinosaurs in the first grade. 274 00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:14,229 That's interesting. What was Joey like in the first grade? 275 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,190 Smaller head, same glasses. 276 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,735 So then, I made fish sticks for them, 277 00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,570 the really cool ones that are shaped like racecars? 278 00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:24,823 I even made ketchup headlights. 279 00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,741 He used to love ketchup art. 280 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,368 Uh, Liv, those have been sitting in the freezer 281 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,370 since he was in third grade. 282 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,330 Well, now they're sitting in my stomach. 283 00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:33,456 I ate one to show they were good, 284 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:36,459 and then, I ate the rest because they are so good. 285 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,253 Maddie, cool if I guillotine your Math book? 286 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,504 Yeah, sure Willow, whatever. 287 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,465 Liv, why are you doing all these little kid things? 288 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,009 This is a 10-year-old sleepover. 289 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,302 Well, because those are the things that Parker and I liked to do together 290 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,721 before I left for Hollywood. 291 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,597 That was a really long time ago. I mean... 292 00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,599 You just need to find things he likes doing now. 293 00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:54,769 Okay, well, then, what do 10-year-old boys like to do? 294 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:58,106 Uh, they like to smash things. They're incredibly immature. 295 00:14:58,189 --> 00:14:59,566 Yeah! 296 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:05,071 What's the cosine of that, trigonometry? [LAUGHS] STYLE ::cue() 297 00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:08,158 Just like some 16-year-old girls. 298 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:13,121 Let me do the talking. 299 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:17,042 Ooh, here's a tip, if he's carrying a boom box, he is not a real cop. 300 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,669 I learned that the hard way. 301 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:25,550 Sir, it's illegal to text and drive. 302 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:31,348 I wasn't texting. My son was texting, Officer Clarkson. 303 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,557 Mike Clarkson? 304 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,393 Pete Rooney, is that you? 305 00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,521 What is happening? 306 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:41,358 Mike and I were buddies in high school. 307 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,444 When he wasn't off winning state championships in basketball. 308 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:46,905 Your Dad, one of the coolest guys in high school. 309 00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:50,075 How many guys were in this high school? 310 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,079 I'm not gonna write you up, Pete. 311 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,622 I believe you weren't texting and driving 312 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,874 because you never could do two things at once, right? 313 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,334 [BOTH LAUGH] 314 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,543 Thanks, pal. 315 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,088 Hey, you know what? We're headed out to the Pastrami Palace. 316 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:05,131 The Palace? No way! 317 00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:08,510 Hey, let me clock out for dinner early. I'll drive you over there myself. 318 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:12,055 How would you like to ride in a real cop car there, little buddy? 319 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,181 Little buddy? 320 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:17,435 I will have you know I have three chest hairs, sir. 321 00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:21,398 Did you ever get dragged to a party you didn't want to go to, 322 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,858 then, ended up having a great time? 323 00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:26,152 This was not one of those situations. 324 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,824 Come on, Joey. Lighten up. This is fun. 325 00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:33,451 Attention, Car 591, 326 00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:37,038 I'd like to report a teenage boy having the night of his life, over. 327 00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,290 I wish this was over. 328 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,085 WOMAN ON RADIO: Car 591, dispatch. 329 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:45,797 We have a 10-99 in progress. Red sedan headed west on Route 20. 330 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:50,719 -Whoa. 10-99. That means a stolen car. MIKE: How do you know that? 331 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,471 Oh, I play a lot of Wheels of Anger. 332 00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:55,849 I hate that game. 333 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,809 Why, because it glorifies crime? 334 00:16:57,892 --> 00:17:00,854 Nope. Because I can't get past level three. 335 00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,398 [TIRES SCREECHING] 336 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:05,608 Oh! Oh! That's a red sedan. That's our perp. 337 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,318 Light them up, Mike. Light them up! 338 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:08,403 [SIREN BLARES] 339 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,405 WOMAN ON RADIO: Car 591, dispatch. Air support's en route. 340 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,157 He's evading. He's evading. 341 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,910 Oh yeah, he's evading. That is 12,000 bonus points. 342 00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:19,247 Car 591, we are in hot pursuit. 343 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,293 I told you we'd have fun! 344 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,628 [LAUGHING] This is awesome! 345 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,130 Oh, turning left. He's turning left. 346 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,214 [GRUNTS] 347 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,551 Oh, air support is closing in. 348 00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,553 Run, buddy, run! 349 00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:34,804 Hey. 350 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,891 I'm sorry. I have never played this game as the cop before. 351 00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:44,481 Come on, guys. We can still have fun. 352 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:49,152 Pizza and orange juice. Delicious separately. 353 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,780 But who wants to see how they taste together? 354 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,492 [KIDS BOOING] 355 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,828 Okay, I know we weren't all fans of duck, duck, dinosaur, 356 00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:00,747 but there is something waiting for you outside 357 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,291 that is going to blow your 10-year-old minds. 358 00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:04,834 I'm 9. 359 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,879 Just come outside. 360 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:13,468 Okay, but if there's someone out there in an Elmo suit, I'm gonna lose it! 361 00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,306 [SQUEALS] 362 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,309 Terry, cue my jam. 363 00:18:22,185 --> 00:18:27,732 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 364 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,025 Whoa, what did you do? 365 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,486 It's Liv Rooney's karate watermelon... 366 00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:32,904 ♪ Smash-a-thon ♪ 367 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,283 Dojo bros, attack. 368 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,994 Go, Parker! 369 00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:41,663 [CHEERING] 370 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,665 Come on, smash it! 371 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,877 [CHEERING] 372 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,129 Whoo! 373 00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:50,380 Yeah! 374 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,967 Oh, yeah! 375 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,468 Whoo! 376 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:04,060 Hiya! This is so awesome! 377 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,187 Do you hear that, Liv? 378 00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:09,899 That's what playground buzz sounds like. 379 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,443 [SQUEALS] 380 00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:15,447 What I heard was a big sister finally bonding with her little brother. 381 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:18,950 I also heard Terry the Clown laying down some sick beats. 382 00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:21,494 [BEATBOXING] 383 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,497 KIDS: Whoo! Parker! 384 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,125 PARKER: Ya! BOYS: Yeah! 385 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,210 [KIDS GROAN] 386 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:33,340 And that's when those racecar fish sticks roared right out of me. 387 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,592 [RETCHES] 388 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,177 ALL: Ew. 389 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:43,308 [DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES] 390 00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:50,106 We've been chasing this dirtbag for, like, 50 miles. 391 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,609 How often does this happen? 392 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,403 Just another day in the life of a cop. 393 00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:57,697 You've never done this before, have you, Mike? 394 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,116 No. [CHUCKLES] 395 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,035 This is so awesome! 396 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,828 Oh, he's stopping. 397 00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:07,374 Oh, you got him. Box him in, Mikey. Box him in. STYLE ::cue() 398 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,044 You guys stay in here while I track him down. 399 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,797 But... Take some pictures of me in action? 400 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,256 This never happens. 401 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:17,717 [CAMERA CLICKS] 402 00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:21,596 Sorry, buddy. Looks like we're not gonna make it to the Pastrami Palace. 403 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,141 Sorry? Are you kidding me? This is the greatest night of my life. 404 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:28,144 Dad, you are so right. Life doesn't happen on a video screen. 405 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:34,025 I got my boy off the couch and showed him that life could be pretty exciting. 406 00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:35,276 It was a good night. 407 00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:41,825 This is not the kind of sandwich I had in mind. 408 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,618 Sorry, Pete. 409 00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:47,372 But I gotta take these dirtbags back to the station for processing. 410 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:51,251 Officer Mike, how slowly can you drive? 411 00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:59,718 You really need to hydrate, honey. You lost a lot of fluid, and solids. 412 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,430 Mom, I'm fine. I just... 413 00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:06,099 Tonight was a complete disaster. 414 00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:09,936 Oh no, sweetie. I got to watch four episodes of... Oh, for you. 415 00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:14,232 I mean, that's what I get for being away for so long. 416 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:18,611 I just really wanted Parker to see me as his cool older sister, 417 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:22,365 and instead, I am a girl who can't hold her fish sticks. 418 00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:25,744 Hey, guys. 419 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:26,828 Hey. 420 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,205 Parker, I'm really sorry I ruined your party. 421 00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,373 Are you kidding? 422 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,417 Between blasting watermelons, 423 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:36,963 you spewing like a volcano, and that clown's sweet tunes, 424 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:42,260 I'm gonna have more playground buzz than Stevie Hudacky's sleepover. 425 00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,387 Wait, so the boys like the party? 426 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:45,680 Check it out. 427 00:21:45,764 --> 00:21:49,893 [KIDS LAUGHING] 428 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:53,146 Ooh, I'm a big Hollywood actress. 429 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:58,610 Oh! You hit me in the belly with the melon. 430 00:21:58,693 --> 00:22:01,279 I'm gonna... I'm gonna... 431 00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:02,405 [RETCHES] 432 00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:04,407 [CHUCKLES] 433 00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:08,787 I'll never forget this night. 434 00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:11,414 Thanks, Liv. It's so great to have you back. 435 00:22:14,918 --> 00:22:15,919 Hey. 436 00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:17,754 If you really want playground buzz, 437 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:21,841 I am pretty sure I saw a possum eating my puddle of barf in the backyard. 438 00:22:21,925 --> 00:22:23,968 [LAUGHS] 439 00:22:24,052 --> 00:22:26,346 Come on, boys, the show's not over. 440 00:22:26,429 --> 00:22:28,306 [CHEERING] 441 00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:39,067 Willow, this is gonna work great. 442 00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:41,152 I'm so glad we found this in the Halloween stuff. 443 00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:43,613 WILLOW: I also found this gem. 444 00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:47,617 Ohh! 445 00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:50,245 Let them eat cake! [LAUGHS] 446 00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:54,457 You ready to do this? 447 00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:58,253 Let's crank it to its highest notch and see what this baby can really do. 448 00:22:58,336 --> 00:22:59,671 ♪ Drop it like it's hot ♪ 449 00:22:59,754 --> 00:23:01,715 ♪ Drop it like it's hot ♪ 450 00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:08,471 [LAUGHS] 451 00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:10,223 [SCREAMING] 452 00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:12,726 Zee head! I want zee head! 453 00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:17,981 [SCREAMING CONTINUES] 454 00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:20,025 I love your family, Mrs. Rooney. 455 00:23:20,108 --> 00:23:22,110 Oh, thank you, Evan. That is so sweet.