Okay, Liv and Maddie will be back from their driving test any second.
Ready to celebrate?
Check it.
♪ Sing it loud ♪
Bam! What?
Ooh, I can't wait to get my license and be able to go wherever I want.
Within the city limits. Before my curfew.
In a beat-up minivan that smells like Joey's feet.
Still freedom. Whoo-hoo!
Freedom? [SCOFFS] Try loss of freedom.
Who wants to drive when you can sit shotgun
and text until your thumbs fall off? [CHUCKLES] Not me.
I'm stoked for Maddie.
Having a license, that means she can go anywhere and do anything.
That a responsible teenager would do after getting approval from her father.
Not that I've ever asked her not to get approval.
Why am I still talking?
Why are you in my house? Why haven't you gotten a haircut?
We've all got questions.
[GASPS] There she is.
-[ALL CHEER] -Congratulations, Liv.
One of our two new drivers.
Yes. Hold your rah-rahs. Only one of us passed.
Total bummer-rang.
Aww, you'll get it next time, kid.
No. I'm the one who passed. License to surprise!
Wait, if you passed, that means Maddie failed.
Maddie doesn't fail anything.
-Ooh! -Oh!
Burn it! Burn it all!
[CHATTERING]
Well, I failed. Guess I know what it feels like to be a loser now.
You know what I'm talking about, Joey.
Ouch! I would call that a drive-by if you had your license.
[EXPLOSION SOUND]
So, what happened?
I will tell you what happened. The DMV discriminates.
Yeah. They only give their licenses to people who can make left-hand turns.
They do come in handy when you wanna go left.
Why would you purposefully turn into oncoming traffic
when you can go up one block and make three rights?
Who needs their license, anyway, am I right?
I do! I need my license!
Don't worry, Maddie. I'll drive you anywhere you wanna go.
Seriously, why am I still talking? Why am I still here?
I'll go get my hair cut.
♪ Better in stereo B... b... better in stereo ♪
-♪ I'm up with the sunshine ♪ -♪ Let's go ♪
-♪ I lace up my high tops ♪ -♪ Oh, no ♪
♪ Slam dunk, ready or not Yeah, show me what you got ♪
-♪ I'm under the spotlight ♪ -♪ Holler ♪
♪ I dare you, come on and follow ♪
♪ You dance to your own beat I'll sing the melody ♪
♪ When you say yeah, I say no ♪
♪ When you say stop All I want to do is go, go, go ♪
♪ You, you, the other half of me, me ♪
♪ The half I'll never be The half that drives me crazy ♪
♪ You, you, the better half of me, me The half I'll always need ♪
♪ But we both know We're better in stereo ♪
[TV PLAYING]
Guys! I have something really exciting to say.
Pause that just for a second.
How about you pause your piehole for two hours?
We'll get to you later.
-We're all listening, Liv. -Okay.
There is a major film shooting in Wisconsin this summer,
and I'm up for a big part.
How exciting! What's it about?
It's based on some book about wolves in space.
BOTH: Space Werewolves!
[SQUEALS] That is my favorite graphic novel.
No way! They want me to play Tristan.
-As in Tristan Lycanth? -Yeah.
-The hero? -Yeah.
[LAUGHS] But Tristan's a boy.
Technically, half-boy, half-werewolf. But he is definitely not a girl.
Right. Not yet.
But the people making the movie saw my episode of Sing It Loud!,
where I dreamt that I was on an international space station
and I saved the Earth by singing the high note
that shattered the asteroid before it hit Earth. Aah!
[SINGS HIGH NOTE]
[EXPLOSION SOUNDS]
I love that episode!
Really? Because I had some logic problems with it.
But you sparkled, honey.
They liked it so much that they're considering
changing the role of Tristan into a girl just for me.
I had to stop Liv for her own good. Fanboys are crazy.
I should know. I'm one of them. [CLICKS TONGUE]
We're talking about Tristan Lycanth. Keeper of the Claw of Freedom.
Does this match this? STYLE ::cue()
-What's up, Diggie? -What's up, Rooney?
'Sup with your hair?
You did not get a haircut just because my dad told you to.
No. Not at all.
I totally needed a trim. Do you think he'll like it?
Diggie, you can't let him push you around like this.
I mean, your hair was a hot mess, but that's not the point.
I can't help it, okay? I want him to like me.
He's your dad. And you and me are... Whatever we are.
Totally. Whatever. Um...
You just need to find something that you and my dad both like
and bond over that.
Oh, yeah, okay, great. Let's see. He likes growling at me.
You know what else he likes? Barbecuing.
Grilling sure beats growling.
And if he starts to like me, I could help you prep for your driver's test.
Aww. [LAUGHS AND SNORTS] That's so sweet.
-Hey, Dad. -[EXCLAIMS]
Dude, I'm kidding. But he won't be.
Oh! Hey, Liv, you want some chocolate pudding?
We found a big bowl of it in the fridge.
Um, boys, that's not chocolate pudding. That's my organic face mask from Paris.
Oh, ho ho ho. Fancy pudding.
Yeah. It's made with orangutan poop.
[SPUTTERS]
Well, whatever that monkey ate was delicious.
-Is that banana? -Okay, just...
Eww, Joey...
[CLEARS THROAT]
Get this. Somehow word has spread through the blogosphere
that I'm up for the role of Tristan in Space Werewolves.
Not sure how that info leaked out onto the internet.
We would never post that juicy tidbit
on the Stevens Point Space Werewolves fan page
in hopes of enraging local Tristanites.
Liv will thank me for this later.
Let me guess. The fanboys were none too pleased about you playing Tristan.
You probably wanna throw in the towel and back out.
Uh, no. I mean, why do I care what nerd nation has to say about me, anyway?
Because we are a powerful force to be reckoned with...
I mean, they are!
[CLEARS THROAT] Whatever.
This weekend I have a personal appearance at Neville's Novelty Shoppe
to sign "Sing It Loud!" DVDs. Why don't you guys come with me?
Liv, Neville's is fanboy central.
If they ask you about Tristan and find out you don't know what you're talking about
they will eat you alive.
He's a werewolf, and he lives in space.
I think anything else I need to learn about him will be in here.
I can probably finish this by Saturday, yeah?
-Liv, that's Volume 1. -There are 64 volumes.
Hah! No wonder they're making this into a movie.
Who would wanna read all that?
-Ugh! -Ugh!
Three hundred and twenty-three pages of "Rules of the Road,"
and not once did they admit
that turning left into oncoming traffic is insane.
Four hundred and twenty pages of werewolves and spaceships,
and the only thing I've really retained is that I think
I could totally rock Tristan's space suit.
Yeah, just wait till they get to The Battle of Mirth.
[GUNFIRE SOUNDS] That's when he meets Kytra,
and that's when the adventure really kicks off.
[GASPS]
You undercover sci-fi geek.
You've totally read this book.
Yeah, I've actually read them all. I love them.
And I have to admit, I am a little on the fence
about you playing Tristan myself.
Okay, one, how dare you!
And two, help me.
Okay, Liv, why are you wigging out?
Because I really want this role.
I mean, I know that I've been playing it cool,
but this is way bigger than my show,
and it could send me into a completely new acting stratosphere.
I just have no idea how to impress these fanboys.
Okay, well, I would love to help you
but, Liv, my driver's test is on the same day as your autograph signing.
And I still have no idea how to make a stupid left-hand turn.
I have a twin-sane idea!
This Saturday, I'll be you and you be me.
-Wait, you mean like... -A switch-a-Rooney.
[SCREAMING]
I'll face your fanboys.
And I will take your driver's test. Perfect!
Why is this bed so squishy?
[CLEARS THROAT]
Because I am sitting on a pizza.
A girl gets hungry at 3:00 a.m.
[MUTTERING]
Web... And that's how I slay the dragon.
Hey, Artie, you got a minute?
Hey, Joey. You got a girlfriend?
Burn!
How is that a burn?
You took your mom to the freshman dance last fall. STYLE ::cue()
So, what brings you crawling back to the society of Space... Space... Space...
Were... Were... Were... Wol... Wol... Wol... Ves... Ves?
[HOWLS]
I was voted out of the society for suggesting that wolf tails were stupid.
Was I wrong? People, was I wrong?
I want to talk to you about my sister Liv.
No-la-la-la-la.
We do not speak the name of that she-devil who wants to desecrate Tristan.
Unless she sent you to ask me to prom, in which case, let her know I say maybe.
Be gone with you.
[WHIMPERS LIKE A WOLF]
Listen, Artie. We have a common enemy here,
and we need to work together to defend the iconic character that is Tristan.
We were once powerful allies, you and I.
An uneasy alliance.
My wolf ears are perked.
Liv will be down at Neville's tomorrow.
I need you to show her the real fangs of a true Space Werewolves fanboy.
Fanboy? That term is derogatory, sir.
We prefer Fantasy enthusiasts.
-So will you do it? -Oh, sounds great, Joey.
I'd happily waltz right into your trap.
Do you take me for a fool?
Yes. Yes, I do.
But as Tristan himself would say...
BOTH: [IN A DEEP VOICE] "When an enemy offers his paw, lick it...
If only to tear off his hind leg... Tomorrow."
Oh!
Saying no to that would be like saying no to Tristan himself.
Well played, lone wolf. Well played indeed.
[HOWLS LOUDLY] Aah!
Nerds!
[BLOWS WHISTLE] Pull over to talk or text.
Mmm! Gotta love a brown sugar glaze.
[BLOWS WHISTLE] No eating in the halls.
I can't help it, coach. Just falls off the bone.
That's some solid-looking barbecue you got there.
Thank you. I followed a recipe from "Barbecue Monthly."
Oh! Too much black pepper.
Ah, it was all so confusing.
My father's a vegetarian.
I just have no one to guide me.
Well, I don't like to brag, but last summer I did win
the Stevens Point Thrilla on the Grilla cook-off.
Oh, yeah! Coach Rooney took the barbecue bait.
But seriously, not one word about the haircut? What gives?
Hey, check it out. I sold Liv's toothbrush to a Sing It Loud! fan,
and got us a bunch of gummy eyeballs.
Too bad she only has one toothbrush.
Oh, please. I picked that one off the sidewalk out front.
Oh...
The switch-a-Rooney was on. It took me four hours to do my hair,
and Liv made me sleep with my head hanging off the mattress
to "protect the pouf." [SNORTS]
I drooled into my own nose.
[GLASS BREAKING]
Thank you all so much for coming to the Season 4 DVD signing
of ♪ Sing It Loud! ♪
Artie's here. Let the games begin.
Liv Rooney! Are the rumors true that you, a girl, might play Tristan Lycanth?
[CLICKS PEN]
It's true, fanboy.
What say you?
I say it's intergalactic blasphemy!
And I shall prove you're unworthy.
Be warned, my minions are live blogging.
King Artie the Magnificent at Wolfspot dot Howl.
Bring it on, King Artie.
Speak for Tristan's lineage.
Who are his parents?
Liv is about to go down in flames.
His parents are the werewolf Magrol and Queen Zira. Bam! What? STYLE ::cue()
I mean, space-tastic question.
BOTH: Maddie.
Okay, we are good to go.
Uh, I think we're forgetting one thing.
Oh! Yes.
Lip gloss.
No, it says here you're required to wear glasses to drive.
Does it say that?
I thought I just needed those for the picture.
Put THem on.
OM Eyeballs.
Now, start the car and put it in gear.
Absolutely.
If you could just direct me to the ignition.
No?
[STARTS IGNITION]
All right. This is good.
Now merge left. There's construction ahead.
-Uh... -Go left. I said left!
-[TIRES SQUEAL] -[SHRIEKS]
-Okay, too far, too far. -Okay.
-Garbage can. Garbage can. -[STAMMERS]
-I don't... -[TIRES SQUEALING]
-[SHOUTS] -[THUDS]
[HORN BLARES]
Okay. Pull the vehicle over.
Uh, uh, okay.
-Slow down. Slow down! -I'm not... I...
-Mailbox. Mailbox! -What?
[BOTH SCREAM]
[AIRBAGS HISS]
So... [SIGHS]
Pass?
Here we are. A couple of dudes
getting ready to do some chillin' and grillin'.
Are you okay that I just called you a dude?
Relax, we're barbecuing. Everybody's a dude.
Okay. Let's do this.
Absolutely.
First, I need you to do a few things.
Hit me. Whatever you want. Shuck the corn? Season the meat?
Mow the lawn.
-Um, what? -And clean the gutters, rotate my tires,
grout the tub, and empty the dishwasher.
Dude.
-What does that have to do with...? -I thought you came here to learn.
Let me go get the lawnmower.
I knew exactly what Diggie was doing.
Using barbecue to soften up the old man?
If he wanted to get on my good side,
he was going to have to get on the good side of my to-do list.
Finally, a little thrilla on the grilla!
All those chores made me hungry.
That's mine.
What... Did you forget to bring your own steak?
Maybe next time.
Next time?
I'm in!
-[SIZZLES] -Aah!
"Bring your own steak." Classic.
Why are you messing with that poor boy?
I'm just making sure he's good enough for my daughter.
And i'm done for the day.
Don't tell Maddie, but except for that stupid name, Diggie's all right.
-Final question, girl. -Yep.
When Tristan split the Galactic Pangaea,
what did he say to the scattering colonies?
"Run to the stars, wolves.
But always put first your families.
For their love keeps you tethered to the universe."
Wow. You've gotta admit, Maddie's making Liv look really good.
She's not fooling anyone.
Well, except everyone here.
Well, Liv Rooney...
I'm sold.
I mean, you will make a great Tristan Lycanth.
All hail the she-Tristan!
[HOWLING LOUDLY]
And, FYI, I currently am available for le prom.
But your window of opportunity is closing. Boop!
Artie. Are you serious?
You can accept my sister playing Tristan?
What part of [HOWLS] don't you understand?
Okay, so Parker and I are the only ones that have a problem with this?
Um, speak for yourself. She won me over too.
Artie, tail me.
[SINGING STATELY TUNE] STYLE ::cue()
[HOWLS]
[HOWLING]
It was at that moment that I realized I was the crazy fanboy
that I was trying to protect Liv from.
I was untethered from my family.
I was the lone wolf.
And I should not have eaten 15 gummy eyeballs.
You know what, Artie...
Tail me too.
All hail the she-Tristan!
[HOWLING]
Let me make one thing clear. This was the last switch-a-Rooney.
You did it when you were 6.
And I wrote your names on your forehead in permanent marker.
Don't make me do that again.
Ah, yes, the summer of headbands.
To be fair, though, we rocked the headband look.
Ha ha, fun, fun.
Maddie, no license till you're 17. Rock that look.
Seventeen? Seriously?
-You want to make it 18? -Ah, 17. Looking forward to it.
And, Liv, since you like driving so much,
you are now my personal chauffeur until further notice.
-No! -[LAUGHING] Yes.
There is no errand too small, no trip too far.
I might even have you take me down to the end of the driveway
just to get the newspaper. I don't know.
That's right, girls. I just dropped an atomic mom bomb.
Boom!
She can't be serious about that, right?
Do we seriously still get newspapers delivered to our house?
Hey, whatever you did down at Neville's totally worked.
Some fanboy named Lone Wolf started a petition
to get me the role of Tristan.
You won over the fanboys.
Thank you.
Pretty sure "Lone Wolf" is actually Lone Joey.
You should go thank him.
Wait, I thought you said that Joey was the one trying to sabotage us.
It was a long and complicated day.
Got it.
Also, I'm sorry about wrecking your driver's test. Literally.
And I got you something.
You might want to return this to the Hoovers.
Thanks. That reminds me. I got you something as well.
One of Artie's wolf tails. Yeah.
Oh! Also, I got you a date to the prom.
Yeah. Artie would like to know what kind of dress you will be wearing,
wizard or pegasus?
Liv, you were absolutely right.
It is mind-blowing what I can accomplish from the passenger seat of the car.
I paid a bill, ordered some cute tops, and adopted a penguin.
-[PHONE CHIMES] -Ooh! Incoming.
-[PHONE CHIMES] -Oh! Aah!
That's funny.
Maddie just sent me the funniest photo.
-You boys want to see it? -Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'll send.
[PHONE MAKES SPRINGING NOISE]
Oh, that's classic!
What is everybody laughing at?