1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,462 Ooh! A package. Wait, what's in it? 2 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:06,589 A new blouse? A new bag? 3 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,551 Underwear that doesn't go all the way up to your waist? 4 00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:13,138 It is an antique washboard. 5 00:00:13,221 --> 00:00:15,890 Oh, isn't she a beaut? 6 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:20,103 It's going to help Maddie and me win the mother-daughter challenge 7 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,564 at Jessup's Pioneer Trail this weekend. 8 00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:23,648 Ugh! 9 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:26,192 Is that that woodsy place that Maddie and I used to go to on field trips 10 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,611 where the highlight was going to the bathroom while sitting on a log? 11 00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:33,825 Yep! Maddie and I have been doing this challenge for the last four years. 12 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:38,997 You camp in the woods and live like people did in the 1800s. 13 00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:41,166 Are you being punished? 14 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:47,088 The most successful mother-daughter team wins the golden butter churn 15 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:50,175 and gets to lord it over the other ladies for the entire year. 16 00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,802 Yeah, this is just a picture because Mom and I have never really won it. 17 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,056 Well, one of us always seems to get leprosy or fall into a wolverine nest 18 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:57,557 -before we get enough points. -Yeah. 19 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,310 And by one of us, I mean Maddie. 20 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,394 -Mom. -Hmm? 21 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,897 -I can see and hear you. -Mm-hmm. 22 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,526 Ugh! This isn't going to be one of those things that you drag me to, is it? 23 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,779 [LAUGHING] 24 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,783 [LIV LAUGHING] 25 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,494 Why are we laughing? What's so funny about me going with you? 26 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,120 Are you inviting me or not? 27 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:23,083 Liv, this is rough-and-tumble outdoorsy living. 28 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,043 Of course we're not inviting you. 29 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:27,962 How dare she not invite me. 30 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,299 Sure, it sounds gross and dirty and stupid, 31 00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:32,967 but she should have at least asked. 32 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,969 Then I could have turned her down and laughed in her face. 33 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,180 No, you wouldn't survive a day. 34 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:44,854 ♪ Better in stereo B-- B-- Better in stereo ♪ 35 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,023 -♪ I'm up with the sunshine ♪ -♪ Let's go ♪ 36 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,275 -♪ I lace up my high tops ♪ -♪ Oh, no ♪ 37 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:52,862 ♪ Slam dunk, ready or not Yeah, show me what you got ♪ 38 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,865 -♪ I'm under the spotlight ♪ -♪ Holler ♪ 39 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,909 ♪ I dare you, come on and follow ♪ 40 00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:00,245 ♪ You dance to your own beat ♪ 41 00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:01,830 ♪ I'll sing the melody ♪ 42 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:06,459 ♪ When you say yea-ah-ah I say no-oh-oh ♪ 43 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,420 ♪ When you say stop ♪ 44 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,964 ♪ All I want to do is go, go, go ♪ 45 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:13,967 ♪ You, you, the other half of me, me ♪ 46 00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:16,386 ♪ The half I'll never be-e ♪ 47 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:19,597 ♪ The half that drives me crazy ♪ 48 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:22,851 ♪ You, you, the better half of me, me ♪ 49 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:25,186 ♪ The half I'll always need ♪ 50 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,855 ♪ But we both know ♪ 51 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:29,190 ♪ We're better in stereo ♪ 52 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,194 Mom, Mom. 53 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,155 -Mom, I caught lunch. [ANIMAL GRUMBLING] 54 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:37,657 What is it? 55 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,659 I don't know. It all went down pretty quick. 56 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,121 Mrs. Wakefield. Put us on the scoreboard. 57 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:45,790 [LAUGHS] 58 00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:48,585 Looks like Team Rooney are the eager beavers this year. 59 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:52,839 -Nature pun intended. -Maddie! 60 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,594 I am here for the mother-daughter weekend! 61 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,681 Who is ready to get their pioneer par-tay on? 62 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:06,561 Oh, honey, what are you doing here? I thought this wasn't your kind of thing. 63 00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:09,189 Yeah, and besides, mom and I are already doing this together 64 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,523 and it's only teams of two. 65 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:11,900 Oh, I know, heh. 66 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:14,277 That's why I went out and rustled up a mom. 67 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:19,199 A mom? What are you talking about? 68 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,284 Oh, I'm just talking about Bree DuMont. 69 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:22,911 BOTH: Bree? 70 00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:24,996 Bree DuMont is the actress who played my mom on 71 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,040 ♪ Sing It Loud! ♪ 72 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:30,752 She's a triple threat. Gor-gene, fab-smash, and rock-a-diculous. 73 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,880 [LEAVES RUSTLING] -Oh! There she is now. 74 00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:35,715 [BREE LAUGHS] 75 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:39,886 Hey, girls! Pioneer Bree, reporting to the prairie, ha, ha, ha. 76 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:43,348 Oops, forgot to lock my horse. 77 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:48,228 [CAR BEEPS] [BOTH LAUGH THEN SIGH] 78 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:54,734 Okay, buddy. Womenfolk are out camping. Dad is out golfing. 79 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:58,154 And that means we have all day to do whatever we want. 80 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,447 Way ahead of you, dude. 81 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,491 Why do you think I'm eating a rib with my foot? 82 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,956 As impressed with that as I am... 83 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,208 I've got bigger plans. 84 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,836 You mean like eating a drumstick with my foot? 85 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:20,844 Okay, buddy, I am talking about a way to make cold, hard cash. 86 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,304 You have my full attention. Don't waste this moment. 87 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:26,599 Liv Rooney residential tour. 88 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,310 For a small fee, members of the local Sing It Loud! fan club 89 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:33,940 can see where their favorite teen idol eats, sleeps, and obsessively flosses. 90 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,401 I've been collecting 91 00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:38,361 her empty shampoo bottles and toenail clippings. 92 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,946 Can you say "gift shop"? 93 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:45,493 I knew I'd cash in on how creepy you were one of these days. 94 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:50,123 Now, wipe that sauce off your foot. The tour shows up in an hour. 95 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,043 Hey, guys. 96 00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:58,089 Golf got canceled. Bummer for me. 97 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:03,386 But we get to spend the weekend together now for a little father-son bonding time. STYLE ::cue() 98 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,639 BOTH: [UNENTHUSIASTICALLY] Yay. 99 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:10,643 So while Maddie's off skinning lunch... 100 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,897 Why don't we catch up? 101 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:19,611 Bree, it is so good of you to come and support Liv on such short notice. 102 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,655 Well, Karen, when my TV daughter called, 103 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,699 I just canceled everything on my schedule to be here. 104 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:25,784 [CHUCKLES] 105 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:29,871 Just one of those situations where I had to drop a butt bomb of mom on it. 106 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:36,044 "Drop a butt bomb of mom on it" is something I used to say. 107 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:39,756 Bree heard it and turned it into her TV character's catchphrase. 108 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:44,427 Since then, she's made a fortune dropping a butt bomb of mom on cookbooks, 109 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,222 workout videos, and yogurt that keeps you young. 110 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,765 I haven't said it since. 111 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,434 I really miss the butt bomb. 112 00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,269 Well, Mom... 113 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,813 -Yeah, sugar? Oh. -What, sweetie? 114 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,650 Oh, wow! 115 00:05:58,733 --> 00:05:59,734 [SIGHS AND WINCES] 116 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:00,985 This is awkward, isn't it? 117 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,529 [LAUGHS] 118 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:05,532 Hadn't really, uh, thought of that, ha, ha! 119 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,743 So we should probably go set up our tent. 120 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:12,956 And I'll, uh, see you around the campfire, Karen? 121 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,837 All right, we have got to think fast. 122 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,839 The girls coming for the Liv Rooney residential tour 123 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,298 will be here any minute, 124 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,510 and dad is acting like he owns the place. 125 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:28,805 He sort of does. 126 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:35,020 We need a project that will keep dad busy. 127 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,354 No, what are you doing, Munch? 128 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:39,149 You know how strict mom is about what goes in the disposal. 129 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,692 That's gonna break it. 130 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,198 Shove it in. Shove it all in. 131 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,412 [GRINDING] 132 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:56,041 [METAL BREAKING, CLANGING] 133 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,168 [WHIRRING, LOUD THUDS] 134 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,420 [WHIRRING STOPS] [METAL PIECES CLANG] 135 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:05,091 Dad! Something's wrong with the disposal. You need to fix it. 136 00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:07,969 This is perfect. 137 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:11,598 You know how Dad takes forever to do pretty much anything. 138 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:13,641 What'd you do? 139 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,730 You know how strict your mom is about what goes in the disposal. 140 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:20,690 Yep. 141 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,069 It's jammed up real good. 142 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:27,405 -You could fix it, though, right, Dad? -Of course he can. 143 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:31,159 Our father's a man's man. He can fix anything. 144 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:37,374 Yeah, looks like it's time for Pete to get his old plumber on. 145 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:44,756 [DOOR OPENS] 146 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,468 Greetings, lovers of Liv and all things Rooney. 147 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:49,594 [FANS GIGGLE] 148 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:54,599 Welcome to the Liv Rooney residential tour. 149 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,727 And gift shop. 150 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,521 [FANS GIGGLE] 151 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:04,275 We must be very careful not to disturb any of the other residents. 152 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:09,114 And we're walking, and we're walking, and we're walking. 153 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,499 It's like taking candy from a... 154 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,459 Artie. 155 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,134 Oh, my late arrivals. 156 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:33,013 Welcome to the best place on Earth: The past. 157 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,059 Time to turn in all modern-day devices. 158 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:39,644 Oh, dear. 159 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:44,524 Um... [LAUGHS] 160 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:47,861 So exactly how, like, modern are we talking? 161 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,780 Because, uh, I mean, my phone's pretty old. 162 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,991 I think I've had it for at least, like, six months. 163 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,703 Well, if the pioneers didn't have it, neither can you. 164 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:00,957 [GASPS] 165 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,962 Oh, and don't forget your hairbrushes. 166 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,047 [GASPS] 167 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,717 We're pioneers, not animals. 168 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,387 On the frontier, women would whittle hair-grooming tools 169 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,431 made out of leftover firewood. 170 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,559 Here's a comb. 171 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,231 My babies. 172 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,569 Don't worry, sugar. Everyone has their price. 173 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,364 How about I trade you that curling iron 174 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:35,241 for a signed copy of A Very Butt Bomb Christmas? 175 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,996 Oh, Liv, honey. We should talk. 176 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,874 I'm starting to wonder if you're upset that I didn't invite you. 177 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,042 [GASPS] 178 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,753 Why ever would you think that? 179 00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:51,091 You brought in a substitute mom from the other side of the country. 180 00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:52,384 It's kind of a red flag. 181 00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:57,263 Oh, yeah, maybe you're right, Mom. Maybe I am a little bit upset, ha, ha. 182 00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,975 Maybe now I will beat you at your own game. 183 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,770 As the pioneers would say, 184 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,188 I bid you good day. STYLE ::cue() 185 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:10,819 [POLE CLATTERS THEN THUDS] 186 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,781 This changes nothing! 187 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,997 Right this way, ladies. 188 00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:26,376 And now to our left, the highlight of the tour: 189 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,212 Liv Rooney's sleeping chamber. 190 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,883 Please do not disturb Liv's side of the room. 191 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:37,846 But feel free to stand on the un-famous twin's bed 192 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,097 and take a picture. 193 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:41,141 [SHUTTERS CLICKING] 194 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:47,022 It's exactly how I imagined it. 195 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,526 Urban princess contemporary. 196 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,073 How much to get me past the velvet rope? 197 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,453 Sorry, Artie. That is off-limits. 198 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:02,912 Ten bucks. 199 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,582 I'll give you 20 if I can have a diva moment. 200 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,418 Hmm! 201 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,670 Deal. I really want to see this. 202 00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:19,179 Are you sure this is a good idea? 203 00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:22,057 Parker, I'm not sure any of this is a good idea. 204 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:26,895 Ready? 205 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:35,278 [VOCALIZING] 206 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:40,116 ♪ Liv and Artie forever ♪ 207 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,870 I really want to make fun of that. 208 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:47,540 But it was nothing short of magnificent. 209 00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,043 [APPLAUSE] 210 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:56,883 We have been at this for three hours. How long does it take to churn butter? 211 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,010 Well, obviously, it takes at least three hours! 212 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,056 I'm sorry, Bree, I just... 213 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,850 I really want one of those bark necklace thingies. 214 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,561 LIV: [SIGHING] Okay, let's check. 215 00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:15,944 [BOTH LAUGHING] 216 00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:19,072 Ha, ha! In your face, ladies! 217 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,156 Woo! 218 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,121 You-- You saw that, right? 219 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:28,415 -We're still going to get credit for that? -No. 220 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:33,670 But we do have a winner in the wood-chopping competition. 221 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,256 Congratulations, Team Rooney! 222 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,299 Yes! 223 00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,804 The secret is to really hate the wood. 224 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,057 [GROANS] 225 00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:48,393 Mom, this is finally our year. 226 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:50,020 I mean, we are so far ahead, 227 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,313 we've got that golden butter churn all locked up. 228 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:53,898 Well, unless we do something dumb. 229 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,151 And by we, I mean you, so don't touch anything. 230 00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,279 Hey, I hear you, Mom. 231 00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:01,823 So here... 232 00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:03,825 is to the golden butter churn. 233 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:11,416 Maddie Rooney. Did you just take a nice, long drink of water to avoid dehydration? 234 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,126 Yes, ma'am. 235 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,086 Then you're dead. 236 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,883 Uh-- Wha--? Uh... 237 00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,509 [STAMMERS] 238 00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:23,011 Wait, hold on. I boiled this water. 239 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,888 No, no, no, no. You boiled that water. 240 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,016 Oops! 241 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,644 But we were going to win this year. 242 00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:33,980 Bringing out the dead! 243 00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:37,859 Wha--? No, Mom, I have been so careful. 244 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:38,943 You know what? 245 00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:41,279 We are so far ahead, you can do this on your own. 246 00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,657 You win that golden butter churn for both of us! You keep this dream alive! 247 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,913 Let's prepare the body for the viewing. 248 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:55,543 ♪ Amazing grace ♪ 249 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:56,878 ♪ How sweet... ♪ 250 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,260 And then Liv's character was like, "Oh, no, you didn't!" 251 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,596 And then the bad girl was like, "Oh, yes, I did." 252 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,182 And then they had an angry dance-off. 253 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:12,352 It was like: [IMITATES DANCE MUSIC] 254 00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,396 Artie, Artie, Artie, Artie! 255 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,107 That is enough. Get off the bed. 256 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,026 Fine. 257 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,737 And then they made up and became best friends. 258 00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,906 [IMITATES DANCE MUSIC] 259 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:26,866 PARKER: All right, people. 260 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:29,452 Please direct your attention to the window seat, 261 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,872 where you will find every stuffed animal Liv has ever played with. 262 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,708 Also available for purchase. 263 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,211 Do I have to pay for the ones I gave her? 264 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,214 I'm not answering that question 265 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:44,592 until you've returned the gum you took from under her desk. 266 00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:55,937 PETE: Hey, boys, you up there? 267 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,939 Dad's coming. Everybody hide! 268 00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:00,025 I mean, to the shoe closet. 269 00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,612 All right, people. And we're moving. And we're moving. 270 00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,114 And we're moving faster. 271 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,533 So that means move faster. STYLE ::cue() 272 00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,622 Hey, what are you doing in Liv and Maddie's room? 273 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:17,834 We just miss them so much. 274 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,589 And why are their stuffed animals down from the attic? 275 00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,260 We missed them too. 276 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,514 Well, the garbage disposal's fried. 277 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,100 I have to go to the hardware store to get a new one. 278 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:36,227 Yeah, you're a real man's man. 279 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,397 I'll see you later. 280 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,482 Hey, uh, do me a favor. 281 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:42,317 Put those stuffed animals back in the attic. 282 00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,319 They're creepy. 283 00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:53,453 BREE: Oh, thanks for fetching the water, Liv. 284 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,206 You missed a wonderful wake. 285 00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,250 [SIGHS] 286 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,127 Yeah, and now with Maddie out of the game, 287 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,088 we might actually have a chance at beating Mom. 288 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:07,258 She did have to trade in all her firewood for funeral flowers. 289 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,471 Oh, Bree. I am so proud of us. 290 00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:14,683 I mean, first, we create butter out of nothing but thin air. 291 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,645 Okay, well, five gallons of milk and three hours of labor, 292 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:19,813 but still, we made butter. 293 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:26,569 And now we are getting our clothes squeaky clean... 294 00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:29,698 with nothing... 295 00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:32,826 but dirty rocks... 296 00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:36,538 and soap that I'm pretty sure is burning my skin off. 297 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,958 And if I do say so myself, 298 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:43,795 I have dropped a butt bomb of pioneer mom on this here log comb. 299 00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,716 Ow! Ow! 300 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:49,801 Ow! 301 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,098 I actually took a little break and cooled my toes off in the stream, 302 00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,851 and it was so refreshing that it made my feet tingle. 303 00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,102 You go, girl! 304 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:01,771 Are those leeches? 305 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,106 [SHRIEKS] 306 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,400 Leeches! Real, live leeches! 307 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,444 Get these bloodsucking slugs off of me! 308 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,820 Bree, do something! 309 00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:11,573 Get off her, leeches! Shoo! 310 00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,241 Shoo! 311 00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:17,120 Come on, Bree. This is where you drop a butt bomb of mom on it. 312 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,289 Oh, honey, I'm not your mom. 313 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,334 Don't take this the wrong way but I'm out of here. 314 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,712 Is there a right way to take that? 315 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,266 And as we conclude the tour... 316 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:43,521 Ooh, hoo, hoo, this is a rare sight. Liv Rooney's real-life father. 317 00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:47,734 Don't disturb him. We'll go out the back. 318 00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:51,529 No way. I was promised a full tour. 319 00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:55,241 My holiday card will have a picture of me in every room in this house. 320 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,453 Fine. Just wait here one second. 321 00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,622 Also, I hate you. 322 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,251 Hey, Pops. Whatcha up to? 323 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,213 While I was at the hardware store, I picked up an alarm system. 324 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:13,134 We have a celebrity living in this house. People would pay to get in here. 325 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,679 Fascinating. Show me everything. 326 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,722 Don't take your eyes off this box. 327 00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:23,186 I've never been more interested in anything you've ever done. 328 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,981 Hold still, Joey. I'm setting the motion detector. 329 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:29,109 Any movement will trip the alarm. 330 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:31,945 [SIREN WAILS] 331 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:35,240 FEMALE VOICE: Alarm activated. Twelve Intruders detected. 332 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,950 PETE: What's wrong with this thing? 333 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:41,996 JOEY: Well-- Well, I know, I'm just so excited, I can't stand still. 334 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,125 [SIREN WAILS THEN CEASES] 335 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,628 FEMALE VOICE: Alarm deactivated. House secure. 336 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,590 I thought I told you to put those creepy things back up in the attic. 337 00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,511 I thought I did. 338 00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,639 You don't think they came down on their own, do you? 339 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,979 ♪ If I sing about leeches Maybe they'll go away ♪ 340 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,648 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, leeches! ♪ 341 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,821 [WHIMPERS] Get off me, leeches. 342 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:19,617 I just saw Bree running and screaming down the trail. 343 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:20,827 I thought you might need help. 344 00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:23,329 Well, I can't imagine why you would think that. 345 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,748 I have never been better. 346 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,583 I have leeches, Mom. I've got the leeches. 347 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:29,961 Oh, yes, you have leeches. 348 00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:34,049 Well, lucky for you, every good mom keeps a credit card handy 349 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:35,675 in case of an emergency. 350 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:38,720 [MURMURS] -Ugh. 351 00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,724 Yet another reason to love credit cards. [CHUCKLES] 352 00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:46,853 [GASPS] 353 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:50,065 Karen Rooney. Pioneer women did not carry credit cards. 354 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,486 -You are disqualified. [KAREN GASPS] 355 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,780 Please surrender your bonnet. 356 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:02,118 Oh, no, Mom! You have horrible bonnet-head. 357 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:07,290 Oh, she's not wrong. You look like a bison. 358 00:20:10,085 --> 00:20:14,464 Well, Liv, you are the last Rooney standing. STYLE ::cue() 359 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,174 I couldn't be prouder of you. 360 00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,719 You're our last chance to bring home the golden butter churn. 361 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,515 I don't care about some stupid golden butter churn. 362 00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:26,893 -I just wanted to spend time with my mom. -Well, thank you. 363 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,354 You are talking about me, right? 364 00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:30,563 [LAUGHS] 365 00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:33,191 I guess I just got a little bit jealous 366 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:34,818 with all of you and Maddie's mother-daughter time, 367 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,653 and I just wanted some for me. 368 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:38,279 Well, for the record, 369 00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,615 I never scraped leeches off of Maddie's legs. 370 00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:41,700 [LAUGHS] 371 00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:44,119 Thanks for taking care of me. 372 00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:47,205 You are one butt bomb of mom. 373 00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:48,289 [BOTH LAUGH] 374 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,293 Mama got her butt bomb back. 375 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:54,629 Boom! Dropped. 376 00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,927 You have no idea how good it feels to be clean. 377 00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:04,556 You have to work extra hard to scrub leech slime off of your fingers. 378 00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:08,727 [SIGHS] -Well, welcome home, Mom. 379 00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:12,564 While you were away, dad did some manly things. 380 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,609 Including upgrading your garbage disposal. 381 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:18,653 -You broke it, didn't you? -Not the point. 382 00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:22,782 Pete, are you sure you know how to install a garbage disposal? 383 00:21:22,866 --> 00:21:24,325 Not the point. 384 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:26,745 You should try it. It works great. 385 00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,496 We tested it with all the leftovers in the fridge 386 00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:30,498 that we couldn't even get Parker to eat. 387 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:38,298 [MECHANICAL WHIRRING] 388 00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:48,433 [WHIRRING CEASES] 389 00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:55,565 This is why we have strict rules about what goes into the disposal. 390 00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:05,158 I got to hand it to you, Munch. 391 00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:08,578 You came up with a ridiculous idea and you made it work. 392 00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:12,040 The best part is nobody found out. 393 00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:17,170 You two are so busted. 394 00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:20,298 We're sorry. We should-- 395 00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:24,010 What do you know? 396 00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:28,431 Oh, just that you completely space-invaded me. 397 00:22:29,432 --> 00:22:31,434 If you are going to use my favorite hairbrush 398 00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,228 to brush out a clown wig, 399 00:22:33,311 --> 00:22:36,731 at least remove the nasty orange hair when you're done. 400 00:22:39,693 --> 00:22:41,152 Yeah, you got us. 401 00:22:41,695 --> 00:22:45,323 We were stealing brushes and combing clown wigs all weekend. 402 00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:47,909 Totally busted. 403 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:50,161 Just don't let it happen again. 404 00:22:53,748 --> 00:22:55,125 [BOTH SIGH]