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Corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
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This is just sloppy
craftsmanship.
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00:00:35,390 --> 00:00:36,600
Hey, Rick.
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Boy, sure is really especially
beautiful out there today, huh?
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Oh, yes, Morty. It's almost
unbelievable, isn't it?
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Yeah, you know?
7
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There's something about the air
and just the way the sunshine is.
8
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Uh, sure, buddy. Yeah.
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00:00:47,990 --> 00:00:48,469
Sure. Brilliant.
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- Very convincing.
- Convincing?
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Oh. Responsive, too.
In real time. I love it.
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Uhh... okay.
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I'm going to work.
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Morty, good morning.
Dad, good morning.
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I am going to work. Goodbye.
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- What's with mom?
- Oh, what's with mom?
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So, you're saying that she's
acting weird?
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How sophisticated.
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Careful, guys.
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You're gonna burn out the CPU
with this one.
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Okay, you know what, Rick?
You're acting weird, too.
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Whatever,
quote-unquote "Morty."
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All right, well...
I'll see you after school.
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Ow! Oof! Ugh!
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Damn it!
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I'm all right. I'm okay.
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All right, who can tell me
what 5 x 9 is?
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Morty?
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Uh, me?
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What is 5 x 9?
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Umm... you know, it's
uhh... at least 40.
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Morty, that's exactly correct!
33
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5 x 9 is at least 40!
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Come up here.
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00:01:42,719 --> 00:01:44,329
Whoo! Way to go, Morty!
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Everybody, this is the best
student.
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I want you to be
the teacher today.
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Teach us, Morty!
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Interesting.
40
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What do you want
me to teach you?
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00:01:52,450 --> 00:01:53,370
Ooh, ooh!
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How do you make concentrated
dark matter?
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Oh, that's a good question.
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Concentrated huh?
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Concentrated dark matter the fuel
for accelerated space travel.
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Now, do you know how to make it?
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Umm...
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Come on, Morty.
49
00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:07,700
Isn't your grandpa, like,
a scientist?
50
00:02:07,719 --> 00:02:09,969
Oh, yeah, but, you
know, he told me
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00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:12,069
that I shouldn't go
around spouting off about,
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you know, his science and stuff.
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I bet you've seen him make
concentrated dark matter a lot.
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You know, if you tell us, I'll
be your girlfriend.
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Uh, y-you will?
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Seems like a rare
opportunity, Morty.
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Morty, u-uh, come on.
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00:02:24,819 --> 00:02:26,969
- There's a family emergency.
- Stop right there!
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If he leaves, I'm
giving him an "F".
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- He doesn't care.
- Aw, man!
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Rick, I have to go back!
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I think I was about to get
married!
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Ugh!
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Take a shower with me, Morty.
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- What?!
- Listen to me, Morty.
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Get your clothes off and get in
the shower right now.
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You got to trust me, Morty.
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Ugh!
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I'm gonna get an "F"
in class, Rick.
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Morty, that's not class.
That wasn't your teacher.
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This isn't your school.
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This entire world
is not the world.
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We're inside a huge simulation
chamber on an alien spaceship.
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Wait a minute.
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W-what are you talking about?
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It's all fake, Morty all of it.
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Nanobotic renderings, a bunch of
crazy fake nonsense, Morty.
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I couldn't say so until we got
in the shower.
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They won't monitor us in here.
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Monitor us?! W-who?!
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00:03:03,319 --> 00:03:04,629
Zigerion scammers, Morty.
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The galaxy's most ambitious,
least successful con artists.
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00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:09,329
You know, it's lucky for us
84
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they're also really
uncomfortable with nudity.
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Aw, come on, Rick.
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If everyone's just
gonna be insane today,
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at least let me be
insane with Jessica.
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I can't let you do that, Morty.
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Give it to me!
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No!
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You give it to me!
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G-g-give it! No, Rick!
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Oh, God, sir!
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They're still naked!
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Ugh.
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Well, check every five quintons
and tell me when they're not.
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I think we should make Kevin
look, sir.
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What?! No!
99
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Why would you even say that?
100
00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:42,900
Uh, sir, we have a situation
over here.
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If there's a wiener on that monitor,
I swear to God, stu...
102
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Something is drawing a lot of
processing power.
103
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Oh, wait. No wonder.
104
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There's another real human in
the simulator.
105
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Okay, Jerry big pitch meeting.
106
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Make-or-break time.
107
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You can do this.
108
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How did this happen?!
109
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Where's the abductions
department?
110
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Hey, man, abductions just
follows the acquisition order.
111
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Don't put this on acquisitions!
112
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We only acquire humans that
haven't been simulated!
113
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Well, simulations doesn't simulate
anybody that's been abducted, so...
114
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Oh, I see! Oh, oh!
It was no one's fault.
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Oh, okay.
I'm sorry.
116
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Well, then, problem solved.
117
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Oh, wait no.
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There's still another
human in here!
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Who is he?
120
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Rick's son-in-law, Jerry Smith.
121
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So far, he hasn't noticed he's
in a simulation.
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Well, cap his sector
at 5% processing,
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keep his settings on auto, and
we'll deal with him later.
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Rick Sanchez is the target.
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Got to relax.
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It's just a pitch.
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Got to relax.
128
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This is earth radio.
129
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And now, here's... human music.
130
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Hmm. Human music.
131
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I like it.
132
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Rick!
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Uhp, uhp, uhp!
134
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,630
Morty, keep your hands off your
ding-dong!
135
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It's the only way we
can speak freely.
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Look around you, Morty.
137
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Do you really think
this world is real?
138
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You'd have to be an idiot not to
notice all the sloppy details.
139
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Look that guy's putting a bun
between two hot dogs.
140
00:05:18,189 --> 00:05:19,569
I don't know, Rick.
141
00:05:19,589 --> 00:05:21,070
I mean, I've seen
people do that before.
142
00:05:21,089 --> 00:05:22,630
Well, look at that old lady.
143
00:05:22,649 --> 00:05:24,070
She's she's walking a cat on
a leash.
144
00:05:24,089 --> 00:05:26,170
Uh, Mrs. Spencer does
that all the time, Rick.
145
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Look, I-I-I don't want to hear
about Mrs. Spencer, Morty!
146
00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:29,500
She's an idiot!
147
00:05:29,519 --> 00:05:30,729
All right, all right, there.
148
00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:31,899
What about that, Morty?
149
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:33,870
Okay, okay, you got me
on that one.
150
00:05:33,889 --> 00:05:34,870
Oh, really, Morty?
151
00:05:34,889 --> 00:05:37,000
Are you sure you haven't seen that
somewhere in real life before?
152
00:05:37,019 --> 00:05:38,830
No, no.
I haven't seen that.
153
00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:42,000
I mean, why would a pop tart want
to live inside a toaster, Rick?
154
00:05:42,019 --> 00:05:44,670
I mean, that would be, like, the
scariest place for them to live.
155
00:05:44,689 --> 00:05:45,600
You know what I mean?
156
00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:47,000
You're missing the point, Morty.
157
00:05:47,019 --> 00:05:48,899
Why would he drive a smaller
toaster with wheels?
158
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,440
I mean, does your car look like
a smaller version of your house?
159
00:05:51,449 --> 00:05:52,199
No.
160
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,530
So, why are they doing this?
161
00:05:53,550 --> 00:05:54,500
W-what do they want?
162
00:05:54,519 --> 00:05:55,669
Well, that would be
163
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,809
obvious to you, Morty, if you'd
been paying attention.
164
00:05:59,889 --> 00:06:02,500
We got the President of the
United States in here!
165
00:06:02,519 --> 00:06:05,529
We need 10cc of concentrated
dark matter, stat, or he'll die!
166
00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:06,930
Concentrated dark matter?
167
00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:08,600
They were asking
about that in class.
168
00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:10,505
Yeah, it's a special fuel
I invented to travel
169
00:06:10,531 --> 00:06:12,134
through space faster
than anybody else.
170
00:06:12,189 --> 00:06:14,669
These zigerions are always
trying to scam me out of my secrets,
171
00:06:14,689 --> 00:06:17,000
but they made a big
mistake this time, Morty.
172
00:06:17,019 --> 00:06:18,100
They dragged you into this.
173
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,529
- Now they're gonna pay!
- What do you...
174
00:06:20,550 --> 00:06:21,829
What are we gonna do?
175
00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:23,730
We'll scam the scammers, Morty.
176
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:26,269
And we're gonna take them for
everything they've got.
177
00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:30,930
National apple farmers of America,
welcome to our ad agency.
178
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:32,329
I'm Jerry Smith.
179
00:06:33,790 --> 00:06:35,200
All right.
180
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,030
I'll just... get to the pitch.
181
00:06:37,050 --> 00:06:40,830
Um, simple question, gentlemen,
what are apples?
182
00:06:40,850 --> 00:06:42,629
Excuse me.
183
00:06:45,949 --> 00:06:48,699
What are apples?
184
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,000
Apples are food.
185
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,029
And... when do we need food?
186
00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:54,370
When we're hungry.
187
00:06:56,189 --> 00:06:59,899
With that, I give you
your new slogan!
188
00:07:01,449 --> 00:07:02,729
Well, say something!
189
00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:04,630
- Do you like it?
- Yes.
190
00:07:04,649 --> 00:07:06,930
- You do?
- Yes.
191
00:07:06,949 --> 00:07:09,099
So... I sold it?
192
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,829
I sold the idea?
193
00:07:10,850 --> 00:07:13,729
- Yes.
- Oh, my God! Thank you!
194
00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:17,569
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
195
00:07:20,850 --> 00:07:22,200
Hey!
196
00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:23,870
I just sold my first pitch!
197
00:07:24,589 --> 00:07:25,399
Slow down!
198
00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:25,940
Lookin' good.
199
00:07:25,949 --> 00:07:27,329
My man!
200
00:07:30,019 --> 00:07:31,169
Hello.
201
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:33,699
Guess who just sold
the apples campaign.
202
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,700
Who just sold the
apples campaign?
203
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:36,730
Me!
204
00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:39,970
I guess it wasn't a rip-off of
"got milk?" after all.
205
00:07:39,990 --> 00:07:42,029
- Guess someone was wrong.
- Yes.
206
00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:44,569
Well, all is forgiven,
because right now,
207
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,729
I've got an erection the size of an
east coast lighthouse,
208
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:48,829
and I'm coming home to share
it with my beautiful wife.
209
00:07:48,850 --> 00:07:50,600
- Okay.
- Wait really?
210
00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:51,930
- Yes.
- Yes!
211
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:52,829
See you in 10 minutes!
212
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:54,229
Hey!
213
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:56,099
I'm going to make
love to my wife!
214
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,030
Lookin' good.
215
00:07:57,050 --> 00:07:58,530
- Slow down!
- My man!
216
00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:04,060
Aw, geez, Rick. I don't know
if I like this plan, you know?
217
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,900
I mean, crowds, they have a
tendency to make me really nervous.
218
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:08,900
Morty, relax.
219
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,770
It's just a bunch of 1s and 0s
out there.
220
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:11,830
You're gonna be fine.
221
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,200
Just follow my lead.
222
00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:14,770
Yo, deejay, drop that beat.
223
00:08:17,550 --> 00:08:18,730
Uh-oh, Morty.
224
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:22,430
This crowd looks too small for
one of our famous rap concerts.
225
00:08:22,449 --> 00:08:24,769
I don't think we can
perform our new song,
226
00:08:24,790 --> 00:08:26,430
"the recipe for
concentrated dark matter",
227
00:08:26,650 --> 00:08:27,669
for a crowd this tiny.
228
00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:29,129
You got that right, Rick.
229
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,199
Now that's more like it!
230
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:35,769
Morty, here we go.
231
00:08:35,789 --> 00:08:38,830
Let me hear everybody say
"hey-oh!" Yeah!
232
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:41,899
All the ladies say, "yeah!"
233
00:08:43,049 --> 00:08:45,400
Everybody over 30, do this with
your hands!
234
00:08:45,419 --> 00:08:48,669
Everybody with a red shirt,
jump up and down!
235
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,570
Yeah, don't move.
236
00:09:06,950 --> 00:09:09,200
Yo, everyone whose
first name begins with an "L"
237
00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:11,970
who isn't hispanic, walk in a
circle the same number of times
238
00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:14,470
as the square root of your age
times 10!
239
00:09:17,019 --> 00:09:18,230
Run, Morty!
240
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,169
Before the system reboots!
241
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:22,930
Yeah! You like that?
242
00:09:22,950 --> 00:09:24,129
Now who's unremarkable?
243
00:09:24,149 --> 00:09:25,399
You hungry for apples?
244
00:09:26,990 --> 00:09:30,299
Are you hungry...
for... apples?!
245
00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:36,130
Oh, my God.
246
00:09:36,149 --> 00:09:40,029
That's the best sex I've ever
had in my life.
247
00:09:40,049 --> 00:09:43,729
It's... it's... too good.
248
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,070
I don't deserve this, Beth.
249
00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:47,700
I'm a fraud.
250
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:48,800
Oh, man, Rick!
251
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:49,970
Where we running to?
252
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,470
Out of the simulation, Morty.
253
00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:53,830
Normally, the chamber operates
like a treadmill,
254
00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:56,129
with the virtual world disappearing
behind us and being
255
00:09:56,149 --> 00:09:58,970
rendered in front of us as we move
through it, but while it's frozen, Morty,
256
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:00,630
we can get to...
257
00:10:00,649 --> 00:10:01,899
The edge.
258
00:10:01,919 --> 00:10:02,870
Here we go.
259
00:10:02,889 --> 00:10:04,100
Holy crap!
260
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,129
Come on, Morty.
261
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:08,870
Sir, they're over the edge.
262
00:10:08,889 --> 00:10:10,199
Yes, they are.
263
00:10:10,220 --> 00:10:13,070
Just... as... planned.
264
00:10:16,569 --> 00:10:18,429
Oh, this is going
to be such a mind-
265
00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:23,728
Keep your eyes peeled for the
central processing room, Morty.
266
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,600
That's how we're gonna scam
these idiots.
267
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:28,030
So, hey, why do these
aliens keep coming after you, Rick,
268
00:10:28,050 --> 00:10:29,300
if you're so much
smarter than them?
269
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,200
It's an obsession for
them at this point.
270
00:10:31,220 --> 00:10:34,500
The zigerions have been trying
to outsmart me for years, Morty.
271
00:10:34,519 --> 00:10:36,269
Every time they do, I'm one step
ahead of them.
272
00:10:36,289 --> 00:10:38,769
Aha!
Here we go.
273
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:41,799
Grab as many processors as you
can carry, Morty.
274
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:43,200
These guys aren't good at much,
275
00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:46,570
but they're really good
at making these chips.
276
00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:48,690
I've got so many, I can
barely hold them all.
277
00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:50,470
Look at look at this.
278
00:10:50,490 --> 00:10:51,629
Oops. I dropped one.
279
00:10:51,649 --> 00:10:53,170
Don't worry about it, Morty.
280
00:10:53,190 --> 00:10:54,910
There's plenty of them,
you little goofball.
281
00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:57,570
Come here, Morty! Oh, I gotcha!
282
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:58,629
Come on, quit it, Rick!
283
00:10:58,649 --> 00:10:59,600
Quit it!
284
00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:01,877
Nothing wrong with
just a little bit of horseplay
285
00:11:01,903 --> 00:11:03,514
every now and
then, little fella.
286
00:11:14,889 --> 00:11:16,370
Wow. What do you know?
287
00:11:16,389 --> 00:11:17,629
Huh. That was easy.
288
00:11:17,649 --> 00:11:20,299
Totes malotes, dawg.
289
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:21,799
Just kind of hard to
believe, you know?
290
00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:22,830
Believe it, Morty.
291
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,799
And once again, I'm flying away
with everything I can carry,
292
00:11:25,820 --> 00:11:28,300
and the zigerions got
nothing of mine.
293
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,599
Mr. Marklevitz, do you have a...
minute to talk?
294
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:37,769
Yes.
295
00:11:37,789 --> 00:11:39,569
Look, I'm a fraud.
296
00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:40,870
I mean, let's face it,
297
00:11:40,889 --> 00:11:43,529
"hungry for apples" is just a
rip-off of "got milk?"
298
00:11:43,549 --> 00:11:44,729
It's almost identical.
299
00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:47,269
- Yes.
- Okay.
300
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,969
I deserve that.
301
00:11:48,990 --> 00:11:52,299
Umm... I guess... I'll just pack
up my desk.
302
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,370
Yes.
303
00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:59,269
Oh, my God.
304
00:11:59,289 --> 00:12:01,730
Wait. You know what?! No!
305
00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:05,500
The milk people don't have a patent
on simple rhetorical questions!
306
00:12:05,519 --> 00:12:07,000
There's not even a single word
307
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:09,700
in "hungry for apples" that's
shared by "got milk?".
308
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,769
It's a completely
different slogan.
309
00:12:11,789 --> 00:12:13,529
It's different!
310
00:12:13,549 --> 00:12:15,299
And I shouldn't be fired.
311
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,299
- I should be promoted!
- Yes.
312
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:17,730
Yeah!
313
00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:18,600
Wait. Really?
314
00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,299
- Yes.
- Yes!
315
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,100
I mean, I'm it may be derivative,
316
00:12:22,119 --> 00:12:23,800
but it's the most
successful campaign to come out
317
00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:25,899
- of this agency in a long time.
- Yes.
318
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:28,500
I'm not saying it
should win an award for commercials,
319
00:12:28,719 --> 00:12:31,570
but it could certainly be nominated
for an award for commercials
320
00:12:31,589 --> 00:12:34,030
specifically about apples,
like... an appley or something.
321
00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:34,700
Yes.
322
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,229
Is there really an award called the
appley for apple-related ad campaigns?
323
00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:38,029
Yes.
324
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:39,570
- Could we nominate me?
- Yes.
325
00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:41,430
Holy crap!
326
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:48,970
Get in, Morty.
327
00:12:48,990 --> 00:12:51,500
I'm gonna be able to
use these processors
328
00:12:51,519 --> 00:12:54,430
to make some real
important science stuff.
329
00:12:56,019 --> 00:12:56,899
Huh.
330
00:12:56,919 --> 00:12:58,500
I thought I entered
the code right.
331
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,730
Wha well, what's this?
332
00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:10,799
What could this possibly be?
333
00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:13,899
Because it looks like you're
inside a simulation...
334
00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:16,399
Inside a simulation.
335
00:13:16,419 --> 00:13:18,029
You're still on the ship.
336
00:13:18,049 --> 00:13:19,529
Game-day bucket go boom.
337
00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:22,499
Sir, the, uh, doctor's
appointment to examine
338
00:13:22,519 --> 00:13:24,500
the discoloration on
your butthole flaps was-
339
00:13:24,519 --> 00:13:26,899
Too loud, Cynthia.
Too loud and too specific.
340
00:13:28,889 --> 00:13:33,700
We've known how to make concentrated
dark matter for a long time.
341
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:38,970
But now we also know the code to
your fabled safe, Rick Sanchez!
342
00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:41,930
All your most valuable secrets
will now be ours!
343
00:13:42,150 --> 00:13:44,370
Uh, yeah, until I
get home before you,
344
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:45,699
and change the combination,
you bunch of idiots!
345
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,129
That is why you're never
getting home.
346
00:13:47,149 --> 00:13:49,269
Get them!
347
00:13:51,519 --> 00:13:52,730
Run, Morty!
348
00:14:01,889 --> 00:14:03,500
Oh, my God!
349
00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,299
Ow!
350
00:14:30,190 --> 00:14:31,570
I got to tell you, this morning,
351
00:14:31,590 --> 00:14:33,600
I didn't even know
this award existed.
352
00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:34,429
Now I'm holding one.
353
00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:37,000
And... um...
354
00:14:37,019 --> 00:14:41,529
Look, I want to say that today
was the best day of my life...
355
00:14:41,549 --> 00:14:44,529
But... the truth is, it's
more meaningful than that.
356
00:14:44,549 --> 00:14:45,699
My man!
357
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,800
Yes. Thank you, sir.
358
00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:53,169
I... am... finally complete!
359
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,129
My my my my man!
360
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:04,329
What the hell?!
361
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:07,800
No.
362
00:15:07,820 --> 00:15:09,529
- Jerry?!
- Dad!
363
00:15:09,549 --> 00:15:10,899
What are you doing here?
364
00:15:10,919 --> 00:15:12,600
Why are you dressed
like a waiter?
365
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:13,399
Screw it. We don't have time.
366
00:15:13,419 --> 00:15:16,200
- Come on.
- No!
367
00:15:23,419 --> 00:15:24,229
Ohhhhh!
368
00:15:27,889 --> 00:15:29,429
Aah!
369
00:15:48,149 --> 00:15:50,100
Yes! Yes! Yes!
370
00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:01,029
Oof!
371
00:16:01,049 --> 00:16:02,769
Man up, Jerry!
372
00:16:02,789 --> 00:16:04,290
I may need you to
work the lasers.
373
00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:17,330
Oh, man!
374
00:16:17,350 --> 00:16:18,700
They're hot on our tail, Rick!
375
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,730
I guess they really do
have concentrated dark matter.
376
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:22,330
Well, you know how to
make it, too, right, Rick?
377
00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:23,600
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
378
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:24,769
Uh, check the engine room.
379
00:16:24,789 --> 00:16:27,470
We just need cesium, plutonic
quarks, and bottled water.
380
00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:30,700
It's all here, Rick!
381
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:31,529
Wow, Morty.
382
00:16:31,549 --> 00:16:32,129
Lucky break.
383
00:16:32,149 --> 00:16:33,299
Grab that bucket.
384
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,570
Okay, two parts plutonic quarks,
one part cesium.
385
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:38,270
Okay. Uh-huh.
386
00:16:40,019 --> 00:16:40,829
All right.
387
00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:42,799
Now empty the water
bottle into the bucket
388
00:16:42,819 --> 00:16:45,858
and pour it all into the fuel tank
so we can get the hell out of here!
389
00:16:45,919 --> 00:16:46,929
What are you doing, Morty?!
390
00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:47,930
There's no time!
391
00:16:54,590 --> 00:16:56,030
Oh, no.
392
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,029
What the-
393
00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:57,899
No!
394
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:05,970
Oh, my God, Rick.
395
00:17:05,990 --> 00:17:08,170
How dumb are you?
396
00:17:08,190 --> 00:17:10,130
You're inside a simulation...
397
00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:11,930
Of a simulation...
398
00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:14,370
Inside another giant simulation!
399
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,700
We never had the recipe for
concentrated dark matter.
400
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,200
But we do now!
401
00:17:20,220 --> 00:17:21,600
We do now, sucka!
402
00:17:21,619 --> 00:17:24,370
You simulated my
grandson's genitalia?!
403
00:17:24,390 --> 00:17:26,970
You bunch of diabolical sons
of bitches!
404
00:17:26,990 --> 00:17:29,069
Kevin fought real hard to
supervise that project.
405
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:30,900
You said you weren't gonna
tell anyone!
406
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,200
I'm never gonna live this down,
am I?
407
00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:33,299
All right. Okay.
408
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:34,369
All right, great. Wonderful.
409
00:17:34,390 --> 00:17:36,170
You win. Can we go home now?
410
00:17:36,190 --> 00:17:37,600
I don't know. Can you?
411
00:17:37,619 --> 00:17:39,099
Ha! Nice.
412
00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:40,699
Okay, okay.
413
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,569
Show this gullible
turd to his shuttle.
414
00:17:42,589 --> 00:17:43,869
I'm done with him.
415
00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:45,130
Oh, wait. Let me get a picture.
416
00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:47,029
Aww. Look at his face.
417
00:17:47,049 --> 00:17:49,130
He's trying to figure out if
he's in a simulation still.
418
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,300
Are you, Rick?
419
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,730
Are you?
420
00:17:52,789 --> 00:17:54,170
You're not.
421
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:55,999
Or are you?
422
00:17:58,089 --> 00:18:01,269
Oh, and, by the way, I don't
have discolored butthole flaps.
423
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,569
That was part of the simulation.
424
00:18:02,589 --> 00:18:03,299
Oh.
425
00:18:03,319 --> 00:18:05,930
Uh, sir, should I cancel that
appointment, then?
426
00:18:05,950 --> 00:18:07,331
Yeah! Of course you should!
427
00:18:07,950 --> 00:18:08,930
No, keep it.
428
00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:10,599
Move it up, actually,
if you can.
429
00:18:15,019 --> 00:18:16,830
Hey, Jerry, don't worry
about it.
430
00:18:16,849 --> 00:18:19,130
So what if the most meaningful
day of your life was...
431
00:18:19,150 --> 00:18:21,129
a simulation operating
at minimum capacity?
432
00:18:21,150 --> 00:18:22,500
You know what, Rick?
433
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,299
Those guys took you
for a ride, too.
434
00:18:24,319 --> 00:18:26,299
You should try having a little respect
435
00:18:26,319 --> 00:18:29,100
for the dummies of the universe,
now that you're one of us.
436
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:30,799
Maybe you're right, Jerry.
437
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:31,769
Maybe you're right.
438
00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:36,230
All right, everybody.
439
00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:39,099
Two parts plutonic quarks...
440
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,669
One part cesium...
441
00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:45,769
And listen, I'm sorry for
yelling earlier.
442
00:18:45,789 --> 00:18:48,000
I couldn't ask for
a better staff.
443
00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:51,270
I love you guys, and I love all
your families.
444
00:18:51,289 --> 00:18:53,569
And the final ingredient...
445
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:57,230
Whoa!
446
00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:58,430
What the hell?!
447
00:18:58,450 --> 00:18:59,470
What happened back there?
448
00:18:59,490 --> 00:19:02,900
Why don't you ask the smartest
people in the universe, Jerry?
449
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,269
Oh, yeah. You can't.
450
00:19:04,289 --> 00:19:05,970
They blew up.
451
00:19:45,990 --> 00:19:48,529
So...
What do you think?
452
00:19:49,950 --> 00:19:50,900
You're fired.
453
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,070
Wha-
454
00:19:52,089 --> 00:19:55,200
But this idea was tested in a
state-of-the-art simulation.
455
00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:57,000
Well, then, it was a
terrible simulation.
456
00:19:57,019 --> 00:19:58,469
Get out.
457
00:20:02,049 --> 00:20:05,629
Man, how does a guy like that go
home and have sex with his wife?
458
00:20:05,650 --> 00:20:06,930
Hey, Morty.
459
00:20:06,950 --> 00:20:07,870
What?
460
00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:09,030
Hey, little buddy.
461
00:20:09,049 --> 00:20:11,130
How you doing in here right now?
462
00:20:11,150 --> 00:20:11,970
Aw, geez, Rick.
463
00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:13,029
What are you doing, man?
464
00:20:13,049 --> 00:20:14,269
You're a good kid, Morty.
465
00:20:14,289 --> 00:20:15,930
You're a real little
character, Morty.
466
00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:16,900
Oh, boy.
467
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,960
You know, I had a really
rocky road today, Morty.
468
00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:22,419
You're my little
friend, aren't you?
469
00:20:23,519 --> 00:20:25,129
We had some good times
together, Morty?
470
00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:27,691
You're a real true
hero out in the field.
471
00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:30,191
You're a real trouper,
huh, Morty?
472
00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:32,130
Have you been drinking, Rick?
473
00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:33,929
I really appreciate you, Morty.
474
00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:34,870
Okay, cool.
475
00:20:34,890 --> 00:20:37,130
All right, Rick you
little son of a bitch!
476
00:20:37,150 --> 00:20:39,100
Are you a simulation?!
477
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:40,069
Huh?! Are you a simulation?!
478
00:20:40,089 --> 00:20:41,129
No! No! No!
479
00:20:41,150 --> 00:20:42,730
You little son of a bitch!
480
00:20:44,190 --> 00:20:45,269
I'm sorry, Morty.
481
00:20:45,289 --> 00:20:46,809
You're a good
you're a good kid, Morty.
482
00:20:46,819 --> 00:20:47,470
Geez!
483
00:20:47,490 --> 00:20:49,029
You're a good
you're a good kid.
484
00:20:49,049 --> 00:20:49,869
Oh, my God!
485
00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:53,569
What the hell?
486
00:20:53,589 --> 00:20:55,299
What a life.
487
00:20:55,524 --> 00:21:00,524
Corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com