1 00:00:27,089 --> 00:00:32,089 Sync & corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:32,390 --> 00:00:34,970 Principal vagina here. Don't let the name fool you. 3 00:00:34,990 --> 00:00:37,430 I'm very much in charge reminding you that tonight 4 00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:39,000 is our annual flu season dance. 5 00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:40,740 I don't know how many times I have to say this, 6 00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:42,485 but if you have the flu, stay home. 7 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,400 Hey. 8 00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:45,930 The flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration. 9 00:00:47,150 --> 00:00:49,000 You don't bring dead babies to passover. 10 00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:50,530 Okay. Here we go. 11 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,700 Hey, Jessica. 12 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,300 Uh... 13 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,530 What's up, Morty? 14 00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:56,199 What are you doing? 15 00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:57,030 Um... 16 00:00:57,050 --> 00:00:58,170 Wait, wait. 17 00:00:58,190 --> 00:01:00,129 Were you about to talk... to her? 18 00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:02,900 Well... I mean, I was thinking about it. 19 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,800 Dude, stay in your league. 20 00:01:04,820 --> 00:01:05,970 Look at how hot she is. 21 00:01:05,990 --> 00:01:08,800 You don't see me going to a bigger school in a wealthier district 22 00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,600 and hitting on their prettiest girl. 23 00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:11,770 Gee, thanks, Brad. 24 00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:13,300 I throw balls far. 25 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:16,530 You want good words? Date a languager. 26 00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:18,429 Try not to worry about it, Morty. 27 00:01:18,450 --> 00:01:21,000 You're a good kid, and there's not a premium on that right now, 28 00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:23,730 but you'll be getting girls sometime after Brad's out of shape. 29 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,130 You're missing the point, dad. 30 00:01:26,150 --> 00:01:28,830 I don't want girls. I want Jessica. 31 00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:30,770 Ah, well, I remember 32 00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,030 feeling that way about a young 33 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:33,730 lady named "your mom," and 34 00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,030 that's not an urban diss. 35 00:01:35,050 --> 00:01:36,130 Your mom was my Jessica. 36 00:01:36,150 --> 00:01:37,430 I remember the first time I saw her. 37 00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:38,100 I thought, 38 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,000 "I should get her pregnant, and then she'll have to marry me." 39 00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,100 I beg your pardon, Rick. Inappropriate. 40 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,035 Sorry, please proceed with your story 41 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,730 about banging my daughter in high school. 42 00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:49,370 I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty. 43 00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:51,070 His marriage is hanging from a thread. 44 00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:52,800 My marriage is fine, thank you. 45 00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:53,930 Jerry, it's your 46 00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:55,130 house whatever you say it is 47 00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:56,300 is how it is but I think a 48 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,470 blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. 49 00:01:58,490 --> 00:02:00,630 I barely have a reason to care, and even inoticed. 50 00:02:00,650 --> 00:02:01,770 Come on, Rick! 51 00:02:01,790 --> 00:02:03,300 Don't talk about my parents like that. 52 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,500 Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love"... 53 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,329 is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. 54 00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:11,800 It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, 55 00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,970 leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. 56 00:02:13,990 --> 00:02:16,000 I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. 57 00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:17,100 Break the cycle, Morty. 58 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,630 Rise above. Focus on science. 59 00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:23,930 All right, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance. 60 00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:27,470 Yeah, I'm just going to... check on your mom. 61 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:32,800 Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? 62 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,930 I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty. 63 00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:36,030 It's gonna be great. 64 00:02:36,050 --> 00:02:37,270 Hey, listen, Rick. 65 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,799 You know how you said that, 66 00:02:38,820 --> 00:02:41,130 you know, love is a chemical and all that stuff from earlier? 67 00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:42,270 Well, I was thinking, you know, 68 00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:45,029 could you make some sort of chemical thing 69 00:02:45,050 --> 00:02:46,700 happen inside of Jessica's mind, you know, 70 00:02:46,820 --> 00:02:49,430 so where she falls in love with me and all that sort of thing? 71 00:02:49,450 --> 00:02:50,300 You know, like, maybe make some 72 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,830 sort of love potion or something? 73 00:02:51,850 --> 00:02:53,530 Morty, that's such a poor use of my time. 74 00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:55,370 It's beneath me. Hand me the screwdriver. 75 00:02:55,390 --> 00:02:57,070 You know what? No, Rick! 76 00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:58,830 I'm not gonna hand you the screwdriver. 77 00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:01,030 I'm not gonna hand you anything ever again, Rick! 78 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,769 I'm always helping you with this and that and the other thing. 79 00:03:03,790 --> 00:03:05,799 What about me, Rick? 80 00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:08,900 Why can't you just help me out once once for once? 81 00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:11,200 You're growing up fast, Morty. 82 00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:14,070 You're growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass. 83 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,730 Listen, this is called oxytocin. I extracted it from a vole. 84 00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:19,670 Do you know what a vole is, Morty? 85 00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:20,730 You know what a vole is? 86 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:22,930 It's a it's a rodent that mates for life, Morty. 87 00:03:22,950 --> 00:03:25,000 This is the chemical released in a mammal's brain, 88 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:26,470 you know, that makes it fall in love. 89 00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:29,330 All right, Morty, I just got to combine it with some of your DNA. 90 00:03:29,350 --> 00:03:30,230 Oh, well, okay. 91 00:03:31,190 --> 00:03:33,370 A hair, Morty. I need one of your hairs. 92 00:03:33,390 --> 00:03:35,670 - This isn't "game of thrones." - Ow! 93 00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:36,970 All right, Morty. 94 00:03:36,990 --> 00:03:39,230 Whoever you smear this stuff on will fall in love with you, 95 00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:40,770 and only you, forever. 96 00:03:40,790 --> 00:03:42,870 - Are you happy now, Morty? - Heck, yeah! 97 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,270 Thank you, grandpa Rick. 98 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,260 Hey, there's no... dangers or anything, or side effects, right? 99 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,300 What am I, a hack? 100 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,869 Go nuts, Morty. It's foolproof. 101 00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:56,070 Eh, unless she has the flu. 102 00:03:57,190 --> 00:04:01,530 - Beth, do you still love me? - Ugh, what kind of question is that? 103 00:04:01,550 --> 00:04:03,270 The "yes or no" kind? 104 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,230 Jerry, do you want homeless people to have homes? 105 00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:07,900 - Yes. - Are you gonna build them? 106 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,769 - No. - Then what good was the "yes"? 107 00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:13,730 Wait, is loving me the house or the homeless people? 108 00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:17,470 Loving you is work, Jerry hard work, 109 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,970 like building a homeless shelter nobody wants to say no to doing it, 110 00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:22,299 but some people put the work in. 111 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,000 So, what do you say? Do you see me working here? 112 00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:27,530 Does this conversation seem tedious to me? 113 00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:28,730 Sort of. 114 00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:30,830 Then I obviously sort of love you, don't I? 115 00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:33,000 So stop asking, and maybe I'll love you more. 116 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:35,800 Crap, they need me at the horse hospital. 117 00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:37,070 This late? 118 00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:39,170 The racetrack had a starlight derby. 119 00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:42,990 There was a seven-horse collision, and Davin's there alone. 120 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,570 Davin. 121 00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:46,830 Davin! Davin. 122 00:04:46,850 --> 00:04:49,170 Davin! Davin! 123 00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:52,030 Davin! Davin! 124 00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:53,970 ♪ Flu, yo ♪ ♪ you got to be aware ♪ 125 00:04:53,990 --> 00:04:56,470 ♪ aware of all the flu ♪ ♪ up in the air ♪ 126 00:04:56,490 --> 00:04:58,430 ♪ I'm-a get me a shot ♪ ♪ and make the flu go away ♪ 127 00:04:58,450 --> 00:05:01,430 ♪ flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪ just rapping away ♪ 128 00:05:01,450 --> 00:05:04,500 ♪ yo, yo, flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪ it's a flu-hating rapper ♪ 129 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:05,900 Hey, there, Jessica. 130 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,730 Whoa! Oh, whoopsie! 131 00:05:09,150 --> 00:05:10,169 Oh, my God. 132 00:05:10,190 --> 00:05:11,930 Morty. 133 00:05:11,950 --> 00:05:13,930 You look really nice tonight. 134 00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:15,500 Wow, thanks. 135 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:16,600 I love you, Morty! 136 00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,770 I love you so much it burns! 137 00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:20,300 Oh, man! 138 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,330 I love you too, Jessica! 139 00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:25,070 Is this punk bothering you, Jessica? 140 00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:26,330 Leave him alone, jerk! 141 00:05:26,350 --> 00:05:27,970 I'm in love with him! 142 00:05:27,990 --> 00:05:29,570 He is more man than you will ever be! 143 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:32,500 ♪ This is about ♪ ♪ flu awareness ♪ 144 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,200 ♪ got to be aware of the flu in ♪ ♪ the air-ness ♪ 145 00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:37,200 ♪ yo, I'm a flu-hating rapper ♪ 146 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,870 Oh, man, Morty. 147 00:05:39,950 --> 00:05:41,170 I'm really sorry. 148 00:05:41,190 --> 00:05:43,670 Oh, well, no problem, Brad. 149 00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:46,370 There's something special about you, Morty so special. 150 00:05:46,390 --> 00:05:48,530 - Mmm, yeah. - Whoa, take it easy! 151 00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:49,730 Get your hands off of him! 152 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,030 - Back off! - I'm trying to be with my man! 153 00:05:52,050 --> 00:05:53,130 That's enough, Bradley! 154 00:05:53,150 --> 00:05:54,800 We don't want you injuring your ball-throwing arm. 155 00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:56,300 Oh, come on, principal Vagina. 156 00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:58,230 Never leave me, Morty. Never! 157 00:05:58,250 --> 00:05:59,830 Uh, sure. 158 00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:01,500 I mean, of course not. 159 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,270 What do you think that was all about? 160 00:06:04,290 --> 00:06:05,670 Who cares? Just hold me. 161 00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:08,170 Let me go! I love you, Morty! 162 00:06:09,090 --> 00:06:10,230 Let go of me! 163 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:13,070 Morty! 164 00:06:18,090 --> 00:06:20,430 She's gonna be alone with that guy all night. 165 00:06:20,450 --> 00:06:22,900 Yeah, dad, digging around the insides of horses. 166 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,230 It's not a very romantic setting. 167 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,177 Well, Summer, there's always the possibility 168 00:06:26,203 --> 00:06:27,685 that she made the whole work thing up. 169 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,000 Maybe Davin's digging around in her insides. 170 00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:32,430 Grandpa, so gross! You're talking about my mom. 171 00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:34,200 Well, she's my daughter, Summer. 172 00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:35,230 I outrank you. 173 00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:38,100 Or family means nothing, in which case don't play that card. 174 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,070 She's not responding to my texts! 175 00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:41,230 Careful, dad. 176 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:42,330 Jealousy turns women off. 177 00:06:42,350 --> 00:06:44,230 Well, isn't that convenient? 178 00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:46,470 Not for the men they cheat on, no. 179 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:50,000 Okay, I'm... going to go out... for some ice cream. 180 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:53,470 And maybe stop by the hospital... to support my wife... 181 00:06:53,490 --> 00:06:54,730 with my confidence. 182 00:06:55,990 --> 00:06:59,270 - God, grandpa, you're such a dick. - I'm sorry, Summer. 183 00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:00,900 Your opinion means very little to me. 184 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,370 How come you're not at this stupid dance everyone loves so much? 185 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,330 Screw that. I don't want to get sick. 186 00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:06,929 - It's flu season. - It is? 187 00:07:06,950 --> 00:07:08,900 - Yeah. - Uh-oh. 188 00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,200 Please just let this work out. 189 00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:19,200 Do it, Morty. Do it. 190 00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:21,700 Rip my clothes off and mate with me for life! 191 00:07:22,420 --> 00:07:23,630 Um... 192 00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:26,070 Can we maybe go somewhere more private? 193 00:07:26,090 --> 00:07:28,130 Jessica, get a hold of yourself! 194 00:07:29,590 --> 00:07:32,470 You don't deserve to carry Morty's genes. 195 00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:37,130 ♪ I love Morty ♪ ♪ and I hope Morty loves me ♪ 196 00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:40,370 ♪ I'd like to wrap my arms ♪ ♪ around him ♪ 197 00:07:40,390 --> 00:07:42,169 ♪ and feel him inside me ♪ 198 00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:43,570 Oh, crap. 199 00:07:45,890 --> 00:07:48,300 Morty! 200 00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:51,200 Morty, come on! We got to get you out of here. 201 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:52,458 You're not gonna believe this, 202 00:07:52,483 --> 00:07:55,249 because it usually never happens, but I made a mistake. 203 00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:57,870 Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. 204 00:07:57,890 --> 00:07:58,800 Morty! 205 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,330 - Are you okay? - I'm fine! 206 00:08:00,350 --> 00:08:01,300 Oh, good. 207 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,070 If anything ever happened to you, I would kill myself. 208 00:08:04,090 --> 00:08:05,970 I love you bad, mo-mo! 209 00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:12,370 Morty, the principal and I have discussed it, 210 00:08:12,390 --> 00:08:15,730 and we're both insecure enough to agree to a three-way! 211 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,670 I didn't realize when I gave you that serum 212 00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:23,070 that Jessica had the flu, you know, 213 00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:25,600 that might have been valuable information for me, Morty. 214 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,300 What the hell is going on, Rick? 215 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,430 What does it look like? 216 00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:30,530 The serum is piggybacking on the virus. 217 00:08:30,550 --> 00:08:32,100 It's gone airborne, Morty. 218 00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:34,730 Oh, crap. What are we gonna do, Rick? 219 00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:35,899 It's gonna be fine, Morty, relax. 220 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,100 I whipped up and antidote. 221 00:08:37,119 --> 00:08:39,229 It's based on praying-mantis 222 00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:41,800 You know, praying mantises are the exact opposite of voles, Morty. 223 00:08:41,819 --> 00:08:43,970 I mean, they they mate once, and then they, you know, 224 00:08:43,995 --> 00:08:46,130 ...decapitate the partner. I mean, it's a whole ritual. 225 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,130 It's really gruesome and totally opposite. 226 00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:49,270 There's no love at all. 227 00:08:49,290 --> 00:08:52,100 I basically mixed this with a more contagious flu virus. 228 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,670 It should neutralize the whole thing, Morty. 229 00:08:54,690 --> 00:08:56,630 It'll all be over very shortly. 230 00:08:56,655 --> 00:08:59,655 Morty! 231 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,600 Uh, by the way, Morty, I know you didn't ask or anything, but... 232 00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:05,300 I'm not interested in having sex with you. 233 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,370 These serums, they don't work on anybody related to you genetically. 234 00:09:08,490 --> 00:09:10,730 Morty! 235 00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:26,430 Okay, well, sometimes, science is more art than science, Morty. 236 00:09:26,450 --> 00:09:27,970 A lot of people don't get that. 237 00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:37,200 Come on. Are you kidding me? 238 00:09:37,220 --> 00:09:38,130 Hello! 239 00:09:38,150 --> 00:09:40,170 Morty! 240 00:09:40,190 --> 00:09:41,270 You're not Morty! 241 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,100 Bring us Morty! 242 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:56,670 Nobody's killing me until after I catch my wife with another man. 243 00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:58,699 I had sex with Billy. 244 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,530 But you were already pregnant! 245 00:10:00,650 --> 00:10:02,800 Yeah, so what's the worst that could happen? 246 00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:05,400 We interrupt "pregnant baby" with breaking news. 247 00:10:05,420 --> 00:10:06,900 Come on. 248 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,970 This just in; Morty Smith's whereabouts are still unknown. 249 00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:11,100 What the hell? 250 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,830 The only thing that is known is... how cute he is. 251 00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:18,070 I love him so much, I want to make love to him and then eat his head. 252 00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:20,600 I love him more than you do, Harold! 253 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,169 You wish, you stupid bitch! 254 00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:23,200 Morty's mine! 255 00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:24,370 Morty's mine! 256 00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:25,569 Meant to be together! 257 00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:28,300 Morty! 258 00:10:34,820 --> 00:10:36,570 Where is Morty? 259 00:10:50,890 --> 00:10:53,130 Oh, my God, Rick. The whole world is infected! 260 00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:55,630 Yeah, it's pretty wild how fast that spread. 261 00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:56,770 I've really outdone myself. 262 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:57,970 Outdone yourself?! 263 00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,630 Are you kidding me, Rick? 264 00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:00,800 This is not okay! 265 00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:03,000 Not only do they all want to have sex with me, 266 00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:05,100 but, you know, now they want to eat me afterwards! 267 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,700 Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. 268 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,400 Mantises are they opposite of voles? 269 00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:11,400 I mean, obviously, DNA's a little more complicated than that. 270 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:12,580 You know what, though, Morty? 271 00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:14,270 This right here's gonna do the trick, baby. 272 00:11:14,290 --> 00:11:17,429 It's koala mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus, 273 00:11:17,450 --> 00:11:21,000 shark, golden retriever, and just a smidge of dinosaur. 274 00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:22,530 Should add up to normal humanity. 275 00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:24,670 That doesn't make any sense, Rick. 276 00:11:24,690 --> 00:11:26,500 How does that add up to normal humanity? 277 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,400 What, Morty, you want me to show you my math? 278 00:11:28,420 --> 00:11:30,138 I'm sorry are you the scientist 279 00:11:30,164 --> 00:11:31,895 or are you the kid that wanted to get laid? 280 00:11:34,850 --> 00:11:36,896 Well, I'm glad we saved all those horses, 281 00:11:36,922 --> 00:11:38,699 but I'm almost sorry we're finished. 282 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,570 Yes, it's satisfying work. 283 00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:43,070 Unh-unh-unh, it's, uh it's more than the work. 284 00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:47,570 I love being in that sterilized room, sealed off from the world. 285 00:11:47,590 --> 00:11:50,170 It's the only time I can really think... and feel. 286 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,430 Hmm, uh, what are you doing? 287 00:11:53,450 --> 00:11:55,700 I'm playing African dream pop. 288 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,500 What do you do after a long night? 289 00:11:59,050 --> 00:12:01,870 Oh, ha, um, hey, I'd better get going. 290 00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:04,270 Um, Jerry's been texting some pretty high-maintenance stuff. 291 00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,070 Beth... 292 00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:06,030 What is it, Davin? 293 00:12:06,050 --> 00:12:09,200 Just once, I'd like to know... 294 00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:13,430 ...what it was like to give your son a bath. 295 00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:14,830 What?! 296 00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:18,370 What does Morty's skin smell like? 297 00:12:18,390 --> 00:12:19,669 How soft... 298 00:12:20,950 --> 00:12:23,370 How soft are his privates? 299 00:12:23,390 --> 00:12:25,070 Let go of me, Davin! 300 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,529 Take me to Morty. 301 00:12:34,450 --> 00:12:36,200 You're not Morty. 302 00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:37,430 No. 303 00:12:37,450 --> 00:12:43,770 I'm Mr. Crowbar, and this is my friend, who is also a crowbar. 304 00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:45,670 That's... stupid. 305 00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:49,700 Yeah? 306 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,429 Well, look where being smart got you. 307 00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:53,230 Jerry! Thank God! 308 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:54,530 God? 309 00:12:54,550 --> 00:12:57,900 God's turning people into insect monsters, Beth. 310 00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,770 I'm the one beating them to death. 311 00:12:59,790 --> 00:13:00,800 Thank me. 312 00:13:00,820 --> 00:13:02,200 Thank you, Jerry. 313 00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:04,200 Thank you. 314 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,530 Take a good look down there, Morty, and soak it in, 315 00:13:10,550 --> 00:13:13,470 because, you know, once I pull this lever, it's all back to normal. 316 00:13:13,490 --> 00:13:14,669 Just do it already. 317 00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:16,830 Well, technically, Morty, there's no rush. 318 00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:18,610 I mean, you know, once it's fixed, it's done. 319 00:13:18,620 --> 00:13:19,570 It's fixed. 320 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:22,500 You know, we could we could just enjoy it for a little bit. 321 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,030 I mean, look at how crazy it is. 322 00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:25,270 I mean, Morty, 323 00:13:25,290 --> 00:13:27,370 when's the next time you're gonna see something like this? 324 00:13:27,490 --> 00:13:30,030 I mean, soak it in, you know? It's it's pretty neat. 325 00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:31,370 - It's pretty interesting. - That's it, Rick! 326 00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:32,669 I'm pulling the lever. 327 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,600 What do we have here, Morty? 328 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,730 Looks like I was right and you were wrong, huh? 329 00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:45,360 I bet you feel pretty stupid right about now, huh? 330 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,700 I bet you feel like the world's smallest man 331 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,970 that you were doubting me about this whole thing, Morty. 332 00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:51,670 Oh, Rick, something's not right. 333 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:53,470 Yeah, you. 334 00:13:53,490 --> 00:13:55,400 - You're not right ever. - No, no! 335 00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:56,600 Look, you idiot! 336 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,770 Bet you're loving this, Morty. 337 00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:24,800 This must be the best day of your life. 338 00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,470 You get to be the mayor of "I told you" town. 339 00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:29,530 You're welcome. 340 00:14:39,490 --> 00:14:40,530 Hold on. 341 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,470 I wish that shotgun was my penis. 342 00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:05,470 If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway. 343 00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:08,030 I don't get it, and I don't need to. 344 00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:11,430 Mom! Dad! 345 00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:13,700 - Summer! - Summer! 346 00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:17,370 - Where's Morty? - I don't know. 347 00:15:17,390 --> 00:15:19,430 Do you think grandpa Rick had something to do with this? 348 00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:21,230 It's not fair to assume that, Summer. 349 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:23,400 Oh, not fair? Give me a break. 350 00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:26,970 He is a selfish, irresponsible ass, and he left my mother. 351 00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:29,770 A real man stands by his woman. 352 00:15:35,290 --> 00:15:37,430 Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo. 353 00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:40,430 Boy, Morty, I really cronenberged the world up, didn't I? 354 00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:42,170 We got a whole planet of cronenbergs 355 00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:43,670 walking around down there, Morty. 356 00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:45,810 At least they're not in love with you anymore, though. 357 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,400 That's a huge step in the right direction. 358 00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:48,330 Oh, my God! 359 00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:49,570 It's a living nightmare! 360 00:15:49,590 --> 00:15:51,970 How could you be so irresponsible, Rick? 361 00:15:51,990 --> 00:15:53,630 Me irresponsible?! 362 00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:56,589 All I wanted you to do was hand me a screwdriver, Morty! 363 00:15:56,650 --> 00:15:57,900 You're the one who wanted me 364 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,600 to buckle down and make you up a... roofie-juice 365 00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:04,930 serum so you could roofie that poor girl at your school. 366 00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:07,970 I mean, are you kidding me, Morty? 367 00:16:07,990 --> 00:16:10,000 You're gonna try to take the high road on this one? 368 00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:11,629 You're a little creep, Morty. 369 00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:14,370 You're you're just a little creepy... creep person. 370 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,429 All right, fine. 371 00:16:15,450 --> 00:16:18,030 I should have just listened to you when you refused to make the serum. 372 00:16:18,050 --> 00:16:20,331 I'm willing to accept my part of the blame for this, Rick. 373 00:16:20,350 --> 00:16:21,930 But I'll tell you something you know what? 374 00:16:21,950 --> 00:16:23,900 You got to accept your part of the blame! 375 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,830 I'm not the one who fouled up the serum! 376 00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:28,530 I'm not the one who haphazardly, you know, 377 00:16:28,550 --> 00:16:31,830 mixed a bunch of nonsense together and created a bunch of cronenbergs! 378 00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:32,900 You got to fix this, Rick! 379 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,430 All right, all right, Morty. 380 00:16:34,450 --> 00:16:36,870 You know, we are in a pretty deep hole, here, 381 00:16:36,890 --> 00:16:39,630 but I do have one emergency solution that I can use that'll kind of put 382 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:41,900 everything back to normal, relatively speaking. 383 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:45,200 Here, Morty, put this on while I do a little bit of scouting. 384 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,200 Wow, Rick, I got to say, 385 00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,630 you really pulled a rabbit out of your hat this time. 386 00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:04,969 I mean, I really thought that the whole place 387 00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,900 was gonna be messed up for good, but here, 388 00:17:06,919 --> 00:17:10,630 you did it... you figured out that crazy solution, like you always do. 389 00:17:10,650 --> 00:17:12,570 Whoo! That's some great luck. 390 00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:13,830 Come on, Morty. 391 00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,030 Luck had nothing to do with it. 392 00:17:15,050 --> 00:17:18,370 I'm great. That's the real reason. 393 00:17:18,390 --> 00:17:20,030 Now, Morty, what do you say, buddy? 394 00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:21,600 Will you hand me a screwdriver 395 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:23,669 so I can finish my ionic dis defibulizer? 396 00:17:23,689 --> 00:17:24,830 Sure thing, Rick. 397 00:17:24,850 --> 00:17:25,970 Here's a screwdriver. 398 00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:27,330 All right, Morty. 399 00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:28,570 Thank you very much. 400 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:32,670 We got one screw turn... and two screw turns... and... 401 00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:39,030 All right, Morty, here we are. 402 00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,370 Oh, my God, Rick! 403 00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:41,470 Is that us?! 404 00:17:41,490 --> 00:17:42,570 We're dead! 405 00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:44,330 What is going on, Rick? I'm freaking out! 406 00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:45,400 Calm down, Morty! 407 00:17:45,420 --> 00:17:46,529 Look at me! Calm down, Morty! 408 00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:48,000 No, I can't deal with this! 409 00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:50,670 - Calm yourself, Morty. - I can't deal with this, Rick! 410 00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:52,800 - Calm down, Morty. - This can't be real! 411 00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:54,430 You got to calm down, Morty. 412 00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:55,770 We're ripped apart! 413 00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:57,470 Shut up and listen to me! 414 00:17:57,490 --> 00:17:58,800 It's fine. Everything is fine. 415 00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:01,400 There's an infinite number of realities, Morty, 416 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,170 and in a few dozen of those, I got lucky and 417 00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:04,400 turned everything back to normal. 418 00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:06,170 I just had to find one of those realities 419 00:18:06,190 --> 00:18:08,530 in which we also happen to both die around this time. 420 00:18:08,550 --> 00:18:09,900 Now we can just slip into the 421 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,470 place of our dead selves in this 422 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,300 reality and everything will be fine. 423 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,870 We're not skipping a beat, Morty. 424 00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:16,930 - Now, help me with these bodies. - This is insane. 425 00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:19,370 Look, Morty, I'll grab myself, you grab yourself, okay? 426 00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,170 I mean, that seems fair to me I mean, 427 00:18:21,190 --> 00:18:22,729 that seems like a fair way to divvy it up. 428 00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:24,870 Rick, what about the reality we left behind? 429 00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:27,600 What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? 430 00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:29,070 The answer is don't think about it. 431 00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:31,300 It's not like we can do this every week, anyways. 432 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,970 We get three or four more of these, tops. 433 00:18:32,990 --> 00:18:34,530 Now, pick up your dead self and come on. 434 00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:35,830 Haste makes waste. 435 00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:38,430 I don't suppose you've considered this detail, 436 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,900 but obviously, if I hadn't screwed up as much as I did, 437 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,230 we'd be these guys right now, so, again, you're welcome. 438 00:18:47,850 --> 00:18:54,770 ♪ Look on down from the bridge ♪ 439 00:18:54,790 --> 00:19:02,790 ♪ there's still fountains down there ♪ 440 00:19:04,890 --> 00:19:10,700 ♪ look on down from the bridge ♪ 441 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:18,720 ♪ it's still raining up here ♪ 442 00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:28,500 ♪ everybody seems so ♪ ♪ far away from me ♪ 443 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:36,370 ♪ everybody just ♪ ♪ wants to be free ♪ 444 00:19:36,390 --> 00:19:42,400 ♪ look away from the sky ♪ 445 00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:48,430 ♪ it's no different when you're ♪ ♪ leaving home ♪ 446 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:57,870 ♪ I can't be the same ♪ ♪ thing to you now ♪ 447 00:19:57,890 --> 00:20:02,518 ♪ I'm just gone ♪ 448 00:20:02,644 --> 00:20:07,130 ♪ just gone ♪ 449 00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:15,730 ♪ how could I say goodbye? ♪ 450 00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:19,270 ♪ How could I say goodbye? ♪ 451 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,530 You know, the thing about a shark... 452 00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:28,530 He's got lifeless eyes... black eyes, like a doll's eyes. 453 00:20:28,550 --> 00:20:32,830 When he comes at ya, he doesn't seem to be living until he bites ya, 454 00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:35,670 and then the the blood, and the red, and the water... 455 00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:38,069 You ever wonder what happened to Rick and Morty? 456 00:20:38,090 --> 00:20:39,700 Sometimes. 457 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:46,270 But, I'm ashamed to admit, now that they're gone, I'm finally happy. 458 00:20:47,790 --> 00:20:49,600 Here we are, cronenberg Morty, 459 00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:52,530 a reality where everyone in the world got genetically cronenberged. 460 00:20:52,550 --> 00:20:54,570 We'll fit right in, cronenberg Morty. 461 00:20:54,590 --> 00:20:56,630 It'll be like we never even left cronenberg world. 462 00:20:56,650 --> 00:20:59,730 Yeah, cronenberg Rick, but, you know, I'm gonna miss cronenberg world, 463 00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:01,670 because everyone was cronenberged all along 464 00:21:01,690 --> 00:21:03,200 like us from the beginning, you know? 465 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,700 I mean, I wish we hadn't genetically ruined cronenberg world 466 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,200 beyond repair like we did, you know, and turned everyone 467 00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:10,630 into regular, normal people just walking around. 468 00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:14,030 Don't you worry about that sort of thing, cronenberg Morty. 469 00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:16,320 Let's go make ourselves at home, huh? 470 00:21:17,055 --> 00:21:22,055 Sync & corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com