1
00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:04,703
[ Vacuum running ]
2
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,680
Hurry up, morty.
3
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,115
Grandpa's about
to un-freeze time.
4
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,617
You really should be cleaning
from top to bottom.
5
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,486
I know how to vacuum mom
and dad, summer.
6
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:21,954
I've been doing it
for six months.
7
00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:24,690
Then you've been doing it wrong
for six months.
8
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,291
Oh, my God, is that mildew?
9
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,627
It's not my fault we froze time
on a humid day.
10
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,830
You have dropped
so many balls, man.
11
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,832
Do you ever get scared
grandpa Rick
12
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,467
might make me his new sidekick?
13
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:38,704
What?! What kind of monster are you?
A competent one.
14
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,140
Who cares about the [Burps] things
you guys are talking about?
15
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:43,809
[ Burps ] The whole point of freezing
time was to stop gmng a [Bleep]
16
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,010
Put a shirt on your dumb dad,
17
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,479
and let's get
this dumb universe rolling.
18
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:49,548
Let's do this thing.
19
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,685
All right, listen, you two.
20
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,521
We froze time
for a pretty long time,
21
00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:56,755
so when I un-freeze it,
22
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,157
the world's time
is gonna be fine,
23
00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,192
but our time's
gonna need a little time
24
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,593
to, you know, stabilize.
25
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:02,728
Our time is gonna be unstable?
26
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,163
What does that even mean?
27
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,498
It means relax
and stop being a pussy, morty.
28
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,500
Uh, I thought
you learned that by now.
29
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,002
It also means
don't touch your parents,
30
00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:11,904
or we could shatter into
countless theoretical shards.
31
00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:14,339
- Wait a minute, what?
- And away we Go!
32
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,541
[ Device warbles ]
33
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:19,344
♪♪
34
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,947
Um... did we ever put
that mattress under Mr. Benson?
35
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,248
- Shhh.
- Shush, morty.
36
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,617
A thing or two about...
Wait, what?
37
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,453
Was the house...
When we pulled up,
38
00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:30,556
I could have sworn the house
was completely trashed.
39
00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:31,924
Negative visualization, Jerry.
40
00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,725
Explains a lot
about where you're at.
41
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,694
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, dad.
42
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,629
Summer, morty, are you okay?
43
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,565
We... we just missed you a lot.
44
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,066
Yeah, we missed you so much.
45
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,768
Too much to hug you, though.
46
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,269
Yeah, it would
literally destroy them.
47
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,105
Now, listen, why don't...
Why don't... wh-why don't...
48
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,973
Why don't you guys Go
get a free Sunday ice cream?
49
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,541
Get out there
and get some ice creams.
50
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,910
Here's $500 cash
in unmarked monies.
51
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:53,812
I'm just gonna put it
on the floor
52
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,247
and kick it on over to ya.
53
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,382
- You guys Go nuts.
- This better not be a bribe.
54
00:01:57,384 --> 00:02:00,619
If I find a single thing
out of place in this house,
55
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,888
my love of ice cream
won't save you.
56
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,456
I'll get my jacket.
57
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:07,993
Sweetie, is your shirt
on backwards?
58
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,595
[ All gasp ]
59
00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:12,231
Yeah. I like it this way.
60
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,465
I'm not stupid.
61
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,733
- Phew!
- Oh.
62
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,602
Man, that guy
is the redgren grumbholdt
63
00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:18,504
of pretending he knows
what's going on.
64
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:19,738
[ Rick and summer laugh ]
65
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,006
- Oh, you agree, huh?
- It's funny.
66
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,407
You like that redgren grumbholdt
reference?
67
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,276
Yeah. Well, guess what?
I made him up.
68
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,078
You really are
your father's children.
69
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,281
Think for yourselves.
Don't be sheep.
70
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:33,385
[ Dramatic electronic music
plays ]
71
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:59,878
[ Electricity crackles ]
72
00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:07,119
God, I feel terrible.
73
00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:08,687
Yep, it really makes you
appreciate
74
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,122
how fickle the universe can be.
75
00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:12,691
One minute you're falling
off a roof for six months,
76
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,059
the next minute, bam!
77
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,961
Uh, just to be clear,
it was summer's job
78
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,196
to put the mattress under...
79
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,830
Uh, what?
It was your job, morty.
80
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,232
- Nuh-uh!
- Yuh-huh!
81
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,300
Actually, sorry, summer.
82
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:22,901
I got to back the "m" bomb
on this one.
83
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,403
I remember the conversation.
84
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,805
We told morty to replace all
the bank's money with cookies.
85
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,907
Your job was to put the mattress
under Mr. Benson.
86
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,809
Boom! In your face, summer!
87
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,978
You really dropped
the ball, man.
88
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,047
Shut up, morty,
you vindictive little turd!
89
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,849
You shut up,
you big female asshole!
90
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,551
[ Warbles ]
Hey, don't shove me!
91
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:40,819
- I didn't!
- You didn't what?
92
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,487
- What's your problem?
- What's yours?
93
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,589
- Shut up!
- You shut up!
94
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:44,990
[ Rumbling ] - Wh-whoa, whoa!
95
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,192
What the [Echoing] hell, hell,
hell, hell, hell?
96
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:49,828
[ Echoing ] Oh, God. Oh, no.
What did you guys just do?
97
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,330
- What did who do?
- What do you mean?
98
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,265
Wait, what am I saying?
[ Burps ] Were either
99
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,434
of you guys uncertain
about anything just now?
100
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,668
Oh, man, I don't feel good.
101
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,070
- Am I me?
- Am I talking right now?
102
00:03:58,072 --> 00:03:59,705
- I think so.
- Wait, who said that?
103
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,273
All right,
both of you just don't move.
104
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,442
Don't speak, don't think.
I have to check something.
105
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,577
- What'd you do, morty?
- I'm gonna help grandpa.
106
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,013
I'll see if he needs help. What do
you mean you're gonna help him?
107
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,548
[ Scoffs ] I can help, too.
108
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,516
- What's happening, grandpa?
- What's going on, Rick?
109
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,185
Sh-sh-shut up.
110
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,520
Oh, crap, are you kidding me?
Two dots?
111
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,222
This never needs to be
more than one dot.
112
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:18,857
The two of you made us
uncertain!
113
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,626
- What are you talking about?
- What's that mean?
114
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,027
- English, please.
- English?
115
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,562
Our time is fractured...
You two somehow created
116
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,731
a feedback look of uncertainty
that split our reality
117
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:28,200
into two equally possible
impossibilities.
118
00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:30,535
W-we're exactly like a man
capable of sustaining
119
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:33,538
a platonic friendship with
an attractive female co-worker.
120
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:34,973
We're entirely hypothetical.
121
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:37,643
But I thought there were
infinite time lines?
122
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,711
We're not
on any time line, dummy.
123
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,813
Look. [ Cat meows ]
124
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,081
Oh, my God!
125
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,283
Summer: Are those cats?
126
00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:46,618
I assume
they're schrodinger's cats.
127
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,053
Or, actually, I assume
128
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,554
they both are and aren't,
just like us.
129
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,256
- Is the world gone?
- Is the world gone?
130
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,924
- Where are mom and dad?
- What about mom and dad?
131
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,260
Mom and dad? Get your head
out of your family's ass.
132
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:57,663
The three of us are lost
in a timeless oblmon.
133
00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:59,131
Your parents get to exist.
134
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,233
They're probably lmng it up
in some pointless,
135
00:05:01,235 --> 00:05:03,435
grounded story
about their [Bleep] marriage.
136
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,404
Jerry: Cold stone creamery
is the best.
137
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,407
What should we do
with our remaining $20?
138
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:11,476
You realize they sing
no matter how much you tip?
139
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,345
- Whoa!
- Aaah!
140
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,346
Holy [Bleep]
141
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,248
- What happened?
- I hit a deer.
142
00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:18,317
We... we have to tell
the cops you were drmng.
143
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:21,019
- What?
- This is rum raisin!
144
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,523
It's still alive.
145
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:28,260
Well, do we... do I, uh,
get, uh, a big rock, or...?
146
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,961
It's not an armadillo, asshole.
147
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,830
I thought that's what
a man's supposed to say.
148
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,365
It's not like
I could've actually done it.
149
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:35,334
If we were near a hospital,
I could treat it,
150
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,035
but I...
I think we have to just...
151
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:39,471
It's okay. This is
just something that happens.
152
00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:42,274
And even if we were
in a hospital, what could we do?
153
00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:44,776
You're a horse surgeon,
not a deer surgeon.
154
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:45,944
So...?
155
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,279
Well,
don't different animals...
156
00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:49,014
Require different levels
of skill to keep alive?
157
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,682
- Oh, God.
- Get the deer in the car, Jerry.
158
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,117
Yes, Beth.
159
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,119
This is why you
don't freeze time, you guys.
160
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,554
It's incredibly irresponsible.
161
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,023
And you did it so we could clean
the house after a party?
162
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,459
Look, there's no time
to hold me accountable, morty.
163
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,327
Like, literally no time.
Look around.
164
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:04,863
Uncertainty
is inherently unsustainable.
165
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,132
Eventually, everything either is
or isn't.
166
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,634
And we've got about four hours
to be "is."
167
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,536
- Or...?
- We isn't.
168
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,339
All right, since this time crystal
exists in both possibilities,
169
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,808
and since it's impossible
that I didn't nail this,
170
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,510
I'm probably about
to press this button
171
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,879
in both possibilities
at exactly the same time.
172
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,314
- How do you know...
- How do you know that...
173
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:24,316
Whatever your asking me,
the answer is I'm amazing.
174
00:06:24,318 --> 00:06:26,318
And away we Go.
175
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,221
[ Warbling ]
176
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:31,857
Huh, what do you know.
It's working.
177
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:34,359
- Ow, ow, ow!
- Oh [Bleep]
178
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,728
What the hell
is wrong with you two?
179
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,996
I-I-I-I mean you four!
180
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,731
Both: That hurt!
That was painful.
181
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,000
Good, I'm glad it was painful.
You deserve it.
182
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,569
I saw you. Y-you're both [Burps]
all over the damn place.
183
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,738
We've been split for 20 minutes
and your lives
184
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,274
are already scattered
to the quantum [Bleep] wind?
185
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:50,776
What the hell do either
of you two
186
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:53,345
have to be so uncertain about?
Your brand of zit cream?
187
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,347
Which chair to sit in
while I do everything?
188
00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:57,115
Come on, spit it out! Well, you
don't exactly make it easy, Rick.
189
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,284
You make fun of me all the time...
You're always picking on me...
190
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:01,620
And now summer's doing it... and
now you got summer to kiss your ass.
191
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:04,022
Me?! What about you? You're just as
mean to me because you're jealous...
192
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,291
Could you get more excited to see me fail?
Because you want grandpa all to yourself!
193
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,960
All right, all right, cool it.
I see what's happening here.
194
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,695
You're both young,
you're both unsure
195
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,030
about your place
in the universe,
196
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,899
and you both want
to be grandpa's favorite.
197
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,534
I can fix this.
Morty, sit here.
198
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,302
Summer, you sit here.
Now, listen.
199
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,970
I know the two of you
are very different
200
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,238
from each other
in a lot of ways,
201
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,540
but you have to understand
202
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,208
that as far
as grandpa's concerned,
203
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,910
you're both pieces of shit.
Yeah.
204
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,244
I can prove it mathematically.
205
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,979
Actually, l-l-let me
grab my white board.
206
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,714
This has been
a long time coming, anyway.
207
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,450
[ Tires screech ]
208
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,385
Emergency!
Wounded deer coming in.
209
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:35,053
[ Air hissing ] - Three.
210
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,888
Excuse me,
you can't be back here.
211
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,390
I'm a certified horse surgeon,
212
00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:40,325
and this deer
needs medical attention.
213
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,661
- Nurse, please move that snake.
- That's my nurse.
214
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,629
And as a horse surgeon,
I'm sure that you know
215
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,999
that deer have much smaller,
much more intricate organs.
216
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,068
As a vet, I'm sure you know
that a deer
217
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,404
is closer to a horse
than you are to a doctor.
218
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:55,073
So let's save the measuring
for when our dicks are out.
219
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,775
- It's time to save a life!
- Geez.
220
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,243
[ Grunts, sighs ]
221
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,679
That's odd.
This deer's wounded.
222
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:03,081
Uh, yeah, I was there.
You don't have to rub it in.
223
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,450
I mean it's been shot
with a gun.
224
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:07,586
Man: My gun.
225
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,187
May I help you, sir?
226
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,122
No, but you can stop
helping this deer.
227
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,358
I shot it before these two
hit it with their car,
228
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,460
and I followed them
when they hauled it off.
229
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,095
This deer belongs to me.
230
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,097
[ Sighs ] We don't have time
for this, okay?
231
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,966
I need anaesthetic
and deer saline.
232
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,934
Look, I don't know what
the law says about this,
233
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,604
but I took an oath that I would
let no animal come to harm.
234
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:28,139
Except when sterilizing,
aborting, or euthanizing them,
235
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:30,108
or also when eating them
at also any meal.
236
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,943
I'm calling my lawyer.
237
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,479
I hope for all our sakes you're as
bad a surgeon as I am a hunter.
238
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,448
In your dreams, bitch. Scalpel.
239
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:39,851
So, in conclusion,
you're both equally mercurial,
240
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,620
overly sensitive, clingy,
241
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,788
hysterical,
bird-brained homunculi.
242
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:46,892
And I honestly can't even tell the
two of you apart half the time
243
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,460
because I don't Go
by height or age,
244
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:50,061
I Go by amount
of pain in my ass,
245
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,329
which makes you both identical.
246
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,964
All right, everything resolved?
247
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,233
Everybody nice and certain about
their position in my world.
248
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,535
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
249
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,136
All right, perfect. Sit still.
250
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,071
[ Burps ] Arms down.
I'm gonna do this again.
251
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,073
This time be like grandpa.
252
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,241
You mean drunk?
253
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,043
What's that?
You got something to say?
254
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,144
- No.
- And away we Go!
255
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,747
And away we Go!
256
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:11,650
- Huh, that's weird.
- Huh, that's weird.
257
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:12,918
[ Button clicking ]
258
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:13,919
- Oh, my God.
- What?
259
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,420
- Oh, my God.
- What?
260
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:16,922
The son of a bitch is gonna kill me!
What?!
261
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,890
The son of a bitch is gonna kill me!
What?!
262
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,225
Diabolical, unfeeling sociopath.
263
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,726
- Don't you get it?!
- Don't you get it?!
264
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,929
The other Rick isn't trying
to merge us anymore.
265
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,363
He thinks
he can save his own skin
266
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,731
by using the crystal to kill me.
267
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,667
He probably figures
it's [Belches] easier
268
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:31,102
to eliminate one of the possibilities
rather than merge them.
269
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,337
[ Laughs ] I have to admit,
270
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,172
it was always in the back
of my mind, too.
271
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,107
The difference is
I would never do it, until now.
272
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,510
Rick, what the hell are you doing?
Saving our lives!
273
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:41,179
After he takes me out, he's...
He's gonna be coming for you.
274
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,380
- Who?
- Me!
275
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,515
[ Gunshot ] - Aah!
276
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,216
- Whoa!
- You see that? Get down!
277
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,285
I told you, he's a psycho.
He's lost it!
278
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,387
Th-th-th-the time fracture
must have made him crazy!
279
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:51,056
- I don't know what to do!
- Oh, crap!
280
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,757
I don't know what to do!
[ Rumbling ]
281
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,225
[ Device beeps ]
282
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,061
Oh, God,
now there's three of them.
283
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,029
We're outnumbered.
Get in the cupboards.
284
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,230
Wait, don't... don't do that.
285
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,732
They'll know. Wait, wait.
286
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,968
Think about getting in
the cupboards, but don't really.
287
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,736
[ Gunshots ] [ Screams ]
288
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,038
Is this what you want,
you sick [Bleep]?!
289
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,607
You want to see children die?!
290
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:09,708
You son of a bitch.
291
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,210
You don't stop lmng
until I say so!
292
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,244
Michael.
293
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,713
- Who's this now?
- My lawyer.
294
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,215
I'm here to notify you, ma'am,
that in this county,
295
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,783
any deer shot by a hunter
296
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,119
is that hunter's property
regardless of how far it runs
297
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,988
or who intercepts it
before it dies.
298
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:24,255
It's called Brad's law.
299
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,724
We can't make you
stop the surgery,
300
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:28,126
but at this point,
you're performing it on venison.
301
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,462
Actually,
I've decided not to eat it.
302
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:33,965
All this fear and conflict...
I'm sure it's ruined the meat.
303
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,401
I'm just gonna use the head
for my rec-room wall.
304
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,902
She normally works on horses.
305
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,972
Jerry, if you're not gonna help,
get the [Bleep] out of here.
306
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,340
I will reach into heaven
307
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,909
and yank your screaming
deer soul back!
308
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,745
Jesus.
309
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,013
Shh, shh!
310
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,914
I know where you are,
you creepy old monster.
311
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,249
I know how you think.
312
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,251
Oh, is there where
you think I'm going?
313
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:54,786
You think I'm standing here?
314
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,021
Well, maybe you're right.
315
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,455
[ Morty grunts ]
[ Rick groans ]
316
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:58,957
Summer: Holy [Bleep] now what?
317
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,992
Well, if all of me
knocked out all the ricks,
318
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,360
and you peed
in all of your pants,
319
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,262
doesn't that mean
that we're all synchronized?
320
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,764
- Right.
- Okay.
321
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:08,433
So, from now on, whatever we do,
we have to be certain.
322
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,668
Right.
323
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:12,537
I think I'm certain
we're effed in the "a."
324
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,207
[ Cats meowing, purring ]
325
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,442
Oh, God, my head.
326
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:18,977
[ Groans ]
What did you guys do?
327
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:22,113
We put you in a dog crate
because you were acting crazy
328
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,182
and you caused
another time fracture.
329
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,384
You tried to kill yourself.
330
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,618
O-only in self-defense.
331
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:28,019
Myself tried to kill me first.
332
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,288
Guys, I don't expect you
to understand this,
333
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,123
but time breaking twice
means our problem is
334
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,893
two times bigger and we've got
half as much time to solve it.
335
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:37,195
Well, actually, I do expect you
to understand that.
336
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,664
It's basic math. C-can somebody
just let me out of here?
337
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,299
If I die in a cage,
I lose a bet.
338
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:42,834
Well, is there some way
you can prove
339
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,736
you're not a threat to yourself
and others anymore?
340
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,471
Oh, for God's sake.
All right, here.
341
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,540
- Give me the time crystal.
- Wh-what are you doing?
342
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,709
Calling myself. Here, listen.
343
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,377
It'll [Burps] probably Go
to voicemail
344
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,045
since, you know,
I'm calling myself.
345
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,814
Hello, Rick here.
346
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:57,482
Don't fall for it. It's a bit.
347
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:58,917
Just kidding! Ha, ha!
348
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,251
You just got ricked.
349
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,720
You've reached
Rick's voicemail.
350
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,221
You know what to do. [ Bee ]
351
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,689
Hey, Rick. It's Rick.
352
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,391
Listen, I'm sorry about earlier.
No hard feelings.
353
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,393
I know you know I mean it, too.
Take it easy.
354
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,828
Whoa, damn! Look at this.
355
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,163
I'm blowing up...
Three new voicemails.
356
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,364
Hey, Rick. It's Rick.
357
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,666
Listen,
I'm sorry about earlier.
358
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:16,267
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I heard this one.
359
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:17,602
Hey, Rick. It's Rick.
360
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,104
Hey, Rick, it's...
You get the idea.
361
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,739
[ Burps ] W-we're cool now.
362
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,574
Okay, well, we're still not
gonna let you out of this crate.
363
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,008
Fine. I'll just do it myself.
364
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,444
If you could get out that whole
time, why didn't you?
365
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,246
Because I waited
until I was certain
366
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,748
it was what I wanted
to do, morty.
367
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,683
That's the difference
between you and me.
368
00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:32,917
I'm certain, and you're
369
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,420
a walking burlap sack filled
with turds.
370
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,755
You know, geez, Rick!
371
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,389
Y-y-you're really tearing
into me right now.
372
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,958
You know, words hurt.
373
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,259
- Holy!
- A monster!
374
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,194
Hey, you... hey, quit yelling.
375
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,430
Quit yelling. What the [Bleep]
376
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,265
Your time is all ripped up
to hell!
377
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,267
[ Warbles ]
You broke your time twice.
378
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,269
- [ Sighs ]
- How did this happen?
379
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,771
[ All speaking indistinctly ]
380
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,306
Nevermind. Shut the [Bleep] up.
Oh, damn.
381
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,075
I'm from the fourth dimension.
382
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,443
I can hear all of y'all.
383
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,645
Now let's just see what we got
here for a second.
384
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,448
- [ Groans ]
- Hey, damn it.
385
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,482
Were you trying
to use this to...
386
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,452
Oh, see, you broke time,
and you thought you could
387
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,454
just stick it back together
with this?
388
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,089
How you think
you gonna move time
389
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,490
while you're standing in it,
390
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,292
you dumbass three-dimensional
monkey-ass dummies?
391
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,560
Oh, way to Go, Rick.
392
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:16,928
Yeah, grandpa, way to Go.
393
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,797
What, you're just gonna listen
to this guy now?
394
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,999
He's got a giant testicle
for a head.
395
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,267
He came here in a bubble.
396
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:23,768
For all we know, he could be
397
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,670
the David berkowitz
of nutsackland.
398
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,839
Shut up. Here, put these on.
399
00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,674
They'll sync
your possibilities up
400
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,743
so I can bring you back
to certain time.
401
00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:33,912
Y'all are just...
Just... just negligent.
402
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,747
See, now...
Now look right here.
403
00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:37,649
Hey, hey, hey, the three of you,
put your collars on.
404
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,350
- We have them on.
- What are you talking about?
405
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,752
- Uh, we did.
- We're not wearing collars.
406
00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:42,587
Exactly.
'Cause you're being obstinate.
407
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:43,988
[ Belches ] What?
408
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,957
Put the damn collars on
if you want to live.
409
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,926
- They're on right now.
- We did. They're on.
410
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:50,094
All right, fine.
Summer, morty, put them on.
411
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,496
[ Device beeps ]
412
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,298
[ Warbling ]
413
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,632
- Yes, we're back!
- No more cats!
414
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,501
- We're back in certain time.
- Problem solved.
415
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:57,769
No more cats! Oh, you did it!
416
00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,704
- You fixed it.
- Yeah, I did.
417
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,306
Now keep those
collars on so you
418
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:02,841
don't break
your weak-ass time again.
419
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,876
How long, exactly, do we have
to wear these things?
420
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,344
They're really embarrassing.
421
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,613
Well, since you're going
to time prison,
422
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,715
I'd say you can
keep them on forever.
423
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,650
- Time prison?
- Yeah.
424
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,652
Well, I don't know where you
expect me to think
425
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,020
you got
that crystal over there,
426
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:19,958
but the only way your dumbass
assin' ass asses
427
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,827
could ever have on
is if it was stolen.
428
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:25,363
You stole a time-freezing
crystal from testicle monsters?!
429
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,032
I would've been happy to pay
for it, s... [burps] Summer,
430
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,068
but they don't exactly sell them
at costco.
431
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,904
Besides, there's a larger lesson
to be learned here. Get him!
432
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,539
No, no, no, no!
You better keep back!
433
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,007
Man, this will turn your ass
434
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:38,343
into a third-trimester fetus
from 30 yards.
435
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,845
[ Monitor beeping ]
436
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,247
Mm.
437
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,883
Isn't there a kitten somewhere
that needs a manicure?
438
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:47,385
That's right, Mrs. Smith.
Give in to your anger.
439
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,520
Neglect that deer.
440
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,422
Honey, it's gonna be okay.
441
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,391
These men are
from the cervine institute
442
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,893
of of elk, moose, deer,
and stag.
443
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,895
They can take this deer
to a helicopter
444
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:59,030
and fly it to the country's
top deer surgeon
445
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,399
on a wildlife reserve
across the state border.
446
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,935
Where your jurisdiction ends.
447
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,338
I guess that's the end of that.
448
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,907
There is just one more thing.
449
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,542
According to this state's
veterinarian statute,
450
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,411
this animal
can't be transferred
451
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,513
until the current
attending physician
452
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:18,182
verbally confirms
their inability
453
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,884
to provide adequate care.
454
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:22,086
You heard the man,
horse doctor.
455
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:25,924
You have to say
you couldn't hack it.
456
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,593
We did it!
457
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,528
Uh-huh. No, mother... no.
Earth, dude.
458
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,864
No, I'm talking about...
Yeah, with the dinosaurs.
459
00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:35,533
No, if you get to the dolphin
people, you gone too far.
460
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,702
All right, man,
I'll talk to you later. Okay.
461
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,103
You know what they do
462
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,039
to third-dimensional life forms
in time prison?
463
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,408
Same thing they do in every
other prison, only forever.
464
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,776
Why are you doing this?
465
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,945
You think I want to be
an omniscient immortal being
466
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,113
transcending time and space
my whole life?
467
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,148
I got ambitions, man.
468
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,050
Bringing you guys in
is my ticket up.
469
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:55,253
What if I told you
there's a huge ticket
470
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:56,454
up right behind you?
471
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,655
You really think
I'm that stupid?
472
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,290
All right, hear me out on this.
473
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,159
You're immortal, right, which
means your life is infinite.
474
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,161
Okay, well, then that means
there's a 100% chance
475
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,796
that you'll
eventually do everything,
476
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:07,298
including turning around
to look behind you.
477
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,466
I cannot argue that.
478
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,069
[ Thud! ] - Aaah!
479
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,570
[ Squeals ]
Oh, God, gross and weird!
480
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,739
Chris! [ Splat! ]
481
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,107
You killed my gun!
482
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,742
Rick: Summer, morty,
take off your collars.
483
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,243
What? What the hell
are you doing?
484
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:23,848
Good question. I suppose
the answer is I'm not certain.
485
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,483
Oh, no, what are you doing?
486
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,251
- I have no idea.
- I'm not sure.
487
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,686
Stop it!
488
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,155
[ Echoing ] Maybe I will,
maybe I won't.
489
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,458
I'm really uncertain
about everything,
490
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:34,759
even kicking your ass.
491
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,127
List... hey! Tw... ow!
492
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,162
But the... these arms
are vestigial! [ Grunts ]
493
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,164
Now, you poked me where
an eye would've been
494
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,766
about 6 million years ago.
495
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,768
Summer: [ Echoing ] Come on,
let's help grandpa.
496
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:46,204
Morty: [ Echoing ] Yes! I'm 100%
not sure about anything!
497
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,939
Yeah, totally uncertain.
498
00:16:47,941 --> 00:16:49,774
Beat his ass!
Get him! Beat him up!
499
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,210
- Kick his ass, Rick!
- Die, mother[Bleep]
500
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,611
Ow! I'm defeated.
501
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,613
- What's happening?
- Time is falling apart.
502
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,148
We've got to get back
to certainty quick.
503
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,483
Give me your collars.
504
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,518
Oh, man. Don't you have to fix,
like, 30 of them?
505
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,886
Morty, I have to fix three
of them.
506
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,454
And then there's 31
other versions of me
507
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:06,124
that have to also fix three,
for a total of 96.
508
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,526
I'm not an idiot.
I know how to be decisive.
509
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,461
Now hand me that flat-head screwdriver.
Now hand me that Phillips screwdriver.
510
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,530
- Actually, make it a flat-head.
- Actually, make it a Phillips.
511
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,132
Oh, shit.
512
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:17,568
Look, I know I was
kind of a nuisance today.
513
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,203
I know it's my fault
we hit the deer.
514
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,639
And I know you wanted
to be the one to save it.
515
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,141
Whatever.
516
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,576
How petty would I have to be
to care less
517
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,745
about an animal's life
than my own ego?
518
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:30,848
Well, you'd have
to be pretty petty.
519
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,217
But you'd still be
the woman I married.
520
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,420
[ Car rattles ]
Where are we going?
521
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,655
One last stop.
522
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:40,224
[ Tires squeal ]
523
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,193
Where's the helicopter?
524
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,694
There is no helicopter.
525
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,064
And there is
no cervine institute.
526
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,832
But the top deer surgeon...
527
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,033
I'm looking at her.
528
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,568
Thanks for teeing me
up like that.
529
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,103
You better get moving.
530
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:54,038
These lights are designed
for basic ice-cream work.
531
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,440
They're not gonna last
all night.
532
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,208
I need five minutes.
533
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:59,911
[ Upbeat music plays ]
534
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:31,576
Jerry, this was the most
romantic weekend I've ever had.
535
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,811
Thanks to cold stone creamery.
536
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,713
You're welcome.
537
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,248
Rick: Okay, collars are done.
Put them on.
538
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,717
We're out of time.
It's ironic, huh?
539
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,385
[ Beeping ]
540
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,987
Huh? Wait a minute.
541
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,489
- Great.
- Rick!
542
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,723
What's going on?
543
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,091
The collar.
Oh, the latch is broken.
544
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:48,459
It won't latch closed
around my neck.
545
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,595
- Oh, are you kidding me?
- Geez, what's going on?
546
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:51,963
How come our collars
aren't green?
547
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,598
Obviously because someone
doesn't know how to put
548
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,733
his collar on, and one of me
is stuck trying to help him.
549
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:58,236
Don't blame this on me. You're the
one that couldn't fix a latch.
550
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,104
What are you talking about?
It's not broken, morty.
551
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,139
I fixed it. Just put it on.
552
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,907
It won't close. It's broken.
553
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,642
Fine, bring it here.
554
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,277
[ Groans ] Oh!
555
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:07,745
- Rick!
- Morty!
556
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,080
[ Screams ]
557
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:10,648
Oh, really, morty?
Well, I'm sorry.
558
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,251
I'm not the one who's so [Bleep]
uncertain about everything.
559
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:14,919
You know what
I'm certain of, Rick?
560
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,587
I've really made up
my mind about this.
561
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,022
I never want to see you again!
562
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,491
You're never gonna see anything
again, you little dummy!
563
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,659
You killed us!
564
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,428
God damn it. [ Grunts ]
565
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:24,930
♪♪
566
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,668
Rick! Oh!
567
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,170
Morty, where's your collar?
I'll fix it.
568
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,338
I dropped it.
569
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,606
[ Beeping ]
570
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:38,442
What the hell?
What have you done to me, morty?
571
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,346
I'm okay with this.
Be good, morty.
572
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:45,883
Be better than me.
573
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,552
Oh [Bleep] the other collar!
574
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,887
I'm not okay with this.
I am not okay with this!
575
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,355
Oh, sweet Jesus,
please let me live.
576
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,691
Oh, my God, I have to...
I've got to fix this thing.
577
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,560
Please, God in heaven.
Please, God.
578
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:56,861
Oh, lord, hear my prayers.
579
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,863
[ Collar beeps ] Yes!
[Bleep] You, God!
580
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,464
Not today, bitch!
581
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:03,668
Please, God, if there's a hell,
please be merciful to me.
582
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,303
[ Collar beeps ]
583
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,805
Yes, I did it! There is no God!
584
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,373
In your face!
585
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,841
One dot, mother[Bleep]
586
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,177
Yes! Oh, yes!
587
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,879
All right, you know
what I'm talking about.
588
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,314
- Oh, that was a close call.
- Oh, yeah!
589
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,882
I'm gonna do
the cabbage patch, morty.
590
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,150
- Oh, yeah, do it.
- Check me out.
591
00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:20,384
I'm doing the cabbage patch.
592
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:21,986
- Do it right.
- I'm doing it, too.
593
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,387
- Do the cabbage patch.
- It's a classic dance.
594
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,223
- Do it. Do the dance.
- Oh [Bleep] look at that.
595
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,358
Hey, wait a second, how come you
guys took longer to get here?
596
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,661
I don't know. I think, like,
1/64 of my collars didn't work.
597
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,096
It's hard to keep straight now
598
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,599
that I have 63 other memories
of everything.
599
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:35,833
Yeah.
600
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,602
But I feel like one
of the 64 ricks,
601
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,103
like, sacrificed himself
for me?
602
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,606
- Maybe? I think?
- Shut up, morty.
603
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,408
The last time you felt
something, we all almost died.
604
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:45,676
You little piece of shit.
605
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,044
Beth: Hey, guys, we're home.
606
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,412
Together: Mom! Dad!
607
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,947
Uh, hold the phone.
608
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,383
Where did you guys
get those necklaces from?
609
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,919
Uh, lady gaga,
table for three. Am I right?
610
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,121
Are you guys power rangers,
611
00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,856
but only on one small part
of you necks?
612
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:00,291
Hey, do those things
need batteries?
613
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,126
Were they included?
Cleanup in the fruit aisle.
614
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,128
Not in a homophobic way,
though.
615
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,430
They're just fruity necklaces is what I was saying.
I'm gonna pee my pants!
616
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,933
Somebody call the planet of "tron"!
Doesn't feel so good, does it?
617
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,769
We have three "tron" people over here.
No, it doesn't. It hurts.
618
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,871
Seriously, are these
Halloween costumes?
619
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,273
Are you going as motorcycles
620
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,742
with green headlights
instead of normal ones?
621
00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,644
Are you dogs?
Robot dogs? [ Laughs ]
622
00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:21,279
Gosh, you guys are lame.
623
00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:23,414
Are those chokers
from the '90s?
624
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,783
What is this,
a '90s nostalgia thing?
625
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:30,054
Are you guys in that movie
"the craft" with fairuza balk?
626
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:34,158
[ Dramatic electronic music
plays ]
627
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:06,090
[ Warbling ]
628
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:08,192
Hey, man,
when the hell were you?
629
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:09,794
Looking for you, asshole.
630
00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:11,329
I told you past the dinosaurs.
631
00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:13,798
You know how much time
is past the dinosaurs?
632
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:14,999
Half of all time!
633
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,133
Come on, man. It's this way.
634
00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:17,335
- Come on.
- Give me that thing.
635
00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:18,969
Speed it up.
He can't be this far back.
636
00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,772
No, no, there he is.
There he is. There he is.
637
00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:22,106
There he is. Stop, stop.
638
00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:23,541
- So, that's the guy, huh?
- Yeah, that's him.
639
00:22:23,543 --> 00:22:25,276
Hey, man. Remember me?
640
00:22:25,278 --> 00:22:27,011
I got something for your ass.
[ Grunting ]
641
00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:28,946
Don't... mess... with time!
642
00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:31,015
You don't [Bleep] with time!
643
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:33,551
Mother[Bleep]
644
00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,686
[ Warbles ]
645
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,188
[ Groans ]
646
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,824
[ German accent ]
I will mess with time.
647
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:42,727
[ Whimpers ]
I will mess with time.
648
00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,161
[ Shouting ]
649
00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:45,529
Man: Did you get any of that?
650
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,965
Man: [ Italian accent ]
It's a good show.