1
00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:03,535
Come on, football!
Go, go!
2
00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:07,239
Oh, come on.
3
00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:09,408
Play football!
4
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,378
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
5
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,079
[ Creature growls softly ]
6
00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:16,715
[ Heartbeat pounding ]
7
00:00:16,751 --> 00:00:18,328
[ Creature snarls ]
Aaah!
8
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,485
[ Slash! ]
9
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,353
So, you're mining stuff
to craft with
10
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:22,699
and crafting stuff to mine with?
11
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:23,763
Uh-huh.
12
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:24,623
Did your dad write this game?
13
00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:25,658
Mean.
14
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:29,161
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]
15
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,264
Gentlemen, you're needed
by a friend in Washington!
16
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,633
How clandestine.
17
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,168
[ Zap! ]
18
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,681
If they can teleport,
why did we take...
19
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,383
I just work here, Steve,
same as you!
20
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,584
[ Indistinct conversation ]
21
00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:43,409
All right.
All right, all right.
22
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,589
Mr. President.
It's about time, gentlemen.
23
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,491
Rick, do you need
to drink in here?
Yes.
24
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:48,725
Here's the adventure.
25
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,349
Some kind of alien... googa
26
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,262
has infested
the Kennedy Sex Tunnels.
27
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,297
I want it hunted down
and taken out.
28
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:55,621
Kennedy Sex Tunnels?
29
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,367
Naturally, you'll forget
you saw them,
30
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,369
along with, in order of
national embarrassment,
31
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,505
the Truman Cocaine Lounge,
the McKinley Hooker Dump,
32
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,529
and the Lincoln Slave Coliseum.
33
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,030
He didn't free them all.
34
00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:06,209
And let me know when you're done.
35
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,577
Maybe then we could get a selfie?
36
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,713
Too busy, Morty.
Now tell me about this summit.
37
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,438
Is it a peace one or a regular one?
38
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:16,742
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
39
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,043
[ Growling ]
40
00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:19,378
[ Zap! Zap! Zap! ]
41
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,746
[ Whimpers ]
42
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:24,149
Ugh. This sucks.
43
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,284
God, tell me about it.
44
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,763
Oh, man.
If you're not into it...
45
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:28,520
What do you mean?
Why would I be into it?
46
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,689
It's lame.
You're into lame stuff, Morty.
47
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,803
I thought young dumb people
considered it an honor
48
00:01:32,827 --> 00:01:34,838
to work for presidents
or whatever the shit.
49
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:37,329
Maybe the first few times,
but this just sucks.
50
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,298
He treats us like Ghostbusters.
51
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,178
We should talk to him.
Yeah, that sounds fun.
52
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:43,447
Let's set some boundaries
with a spoiled control freak
53
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:45,137
that thinks he runs the world
54
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:46,817
and orders drone strikes
to cope with his insecurity.
55
00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:49,374
It's either that or more of this.
56
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:50,576
Third choice...
57
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,277
"Minecraft."
You like it now?
58
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:53,245
Got to be honest, Morty.
59
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,213
It's growing on me.
60
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,181
Notify the president.
61
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,149
What do I tell him?
62
00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,550
Tell him the truth.
63
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:02,454
Tell him Rick and Morty
just blew off America.
64
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:05,457
♪
65
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,732
You can use that wood
to make a chest.
66
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,300
Oh, good. Then I can
store all this wood
67
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,802
I'll need later
for chest-making.
68
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,403
Okay. You're not
going to have fun
69
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:41,471
if you analyze everything.
70
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,606
This is what they'd rather do?
71
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,541
It's all in the transcript.
72
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,298
"Treats us like Ghostbusters."
73
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,178
So, Ghostbusters aren't cool now?
74
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,713
I don't recall signing that bill.
75
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,136
"Control freak."
76
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:54,773
"Orders drone strikes
to cope with..."
77
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:55,774
"Insecurity."
78
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,309
Should we drone-strike
them?
79
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,322
That would prove them right!
And blow him up.
80
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,646
Give me the phone.
81
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,325
Rick: Is this game popular
with autistic people?
82
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,660
Why would you say
something like that?
83
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,284
'Cause I'm starting to love it.
84
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,585
[ Cellphone vibrating ]
85
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,465
"Failure to answer
is a felony offense"?
86
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,600
Play it cool.
As far as he knows,
we're still in the tunnels.
87
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,357
[ Chuckles ]
88
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:13,837
When should we reveal
we can see them?
89
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,539
We're holding all
the cards right now.
90
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,674
We don't show any before
the time is right.
91
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:18,830
Awesome.
Rick: Yello?
92
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,299
Hi, guys.
U.S. President calling.
93
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,301
How's it going?
Oh, hey.
94
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,813
Just hard at work
on this sex tunnel gagoo.
95
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,815
I think it's kind of our
new archnemesis, you know?
96
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,272
It might take a while.
97
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:28,451
What do you think,
Morty... a month?
98
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,915
Fingers crossed, a month, yeah.
99
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:32,544
You lying dicks!
100
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,191
I see your asses playing
"Minecraft"!
101
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,547
I got you on satellite!
102
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:36,848
That's right.
103
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,562
What do you have to say
for yourselves?
104
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,230
Okay, obviously, this looks
bad, Mr. President.
105
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,486
I mean, what doesn't look bad
106
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:42,799
through an illegal spy satellite?
107
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,356
Don't high-road me.
108
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,669
The two of you break
1,000 federal laws a day.
109
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,459
Wow, really?
That's pretty cool.
110
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,706
And, yes, yes, yes, yes,
you save the world now and then.
111
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,396
America returns that favor
112
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,543
by not holding the two of you
accountable to its laws.
113
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,234
Oh!
Oh! Oh, God.
114
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:56,969
We... We didn't know
you saw it that way.
115
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,804
Well, it's nobody's fault.
116
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,684
We never had "the talk,"
so to speak.
117
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,507
Yeah. I mean,
the way we see it,
118
00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:04,676
when we show up,
that's the favor to you.
119
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,690
Especially, you know,
when it turns out
120
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,525
you wanted someone to come over
just because you found
121
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,360
an "X-Files" monster
in your basement.
122
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:13,585
As for the reason you've never,
like, arrested us,
123
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,754
we assumed you just knew
that it was impossible,
124
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,356
like, if you tried.
125
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:20,392
You know, it wouldn't go well.
126
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,629
Wouldn't go well?
Can you elaborate?
127
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,565
I think one of your 1,000 laws
says, no, I can't elaborate.
128
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,440
Just trust me.
None of us want to go there.
129
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:29,868
Which we'll never have to.
130
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,781
By the way, we'll keep on
saving the Earth.
131
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,416
You know, we're...
We're happy to do that.
132
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,018
Yeah, but not because
it contains America...
133
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,576
Because moving to a new version
of Earth is a bitch and a half.
134
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,345
But feel free to call us, you
know, as... as, like, friends.
135
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:43,015
Yeah, like, if you ever
want to take a selfie...
136
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:45,884
So, are we cool?
137
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,697
Yes.
Thank you, gentlemen.
138
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:48,961
I told you, man!
139
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,590
I'm impressed, Morty.
That went really well.
140
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,792
[ Indistinct conversations ]
141
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,867
Everybody, get ahold of yourselves!
142
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,230
Sir, what is our new
Rick and Morty policy?
143
00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:01,500
Our policy is, we never needed
them and never will again.
144
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,669
Today, we celebrate
our independence
145
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:06,038
from Rick and Morty.
146
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,640
Everyone out.
147
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,795
All this spring
at Clothes Mart,
there's a clothes sale.
148
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,764
Come on down
to the clothes section.
149
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,966
I just put it on for fun.
I know I can't buy it.
150
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,924
Oh, come on. You look great!
You're only young once.
151
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,859
Just promise, if the results
are too strong,
152
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:28,895
you'll use protection.
153
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,696
Really?! Thanks!
154
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:33,432
When did you get rad?
I don't know.
155
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:37,302
Maybe I adjusted to the divorce
and everything's new.
156
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,704
I'll say. I couldn't stand you
157
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,784
for more than an hour
at a time before.
158
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,552
[ Chuckles ]
No... No offense.
159
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:45,010
I like it. It's great.
You're like a different person.
160
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,912
Yeah.
161
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,448
Different person.
162
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:52,818
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
163
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,988
Oh, not you.
164
00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,359
Vamos! Vamos!
Aaah!
165
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:01,638
How do you like that, Morty?
166
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,773
Whoa!
Just like "Minecraft"!
167
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,897
Ooh, a tiny
nuclear-capable species
168
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:07,666
just got discovered in the Amazon.
169
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,978
Let's go make first contact
before someone else
170
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:09,835
gets all their shit.
171
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,336
What about this?
172
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,515
South Park did it
4 years ago, Morty.
173
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,405
They're fast.
174
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:14,840
Or we're slow.
175
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:18,443
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
176
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,845
Don't do it, guys.
177
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,447
The casualties would be
in the "Brazilians"
178
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:23,982
because you're Brazilian.
179
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,450
It's a threat and a pun.
180
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:26,451
Nobody gets me.
181
00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,053
Americanos! Pressa!
182
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:31,556
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
183
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,141
Oh. Hello, Rick.
You're here, too.
184
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,042
I guess this is a global crisis.
185
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,677
Oh, God.
186
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,391
Mr. President, Morty and I
have the situation covered.
187
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:55,747
I'm sure you did.
188
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,093
Dismissed.
Dismissed?
189
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,817
Yeah, dismissed.
190
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:01,486
Not needed here. You can leave
and nobody will care.
191
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,466
Have you never heard
that before?
Do you even know how to take out
this kind of threat?
192
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,123
We're not taking it out.
193
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:07,793
We're going to shrink down and
approach them diplomatically.
194
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:14,433
You shrink with pills?
Are you still here?
195
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:15,812
Shouldn't you be going down
to your next version of Earth
196
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,847
with your selfie-craving
star-[bleep] sidekick?
197
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,571
Whoa!
We're allowed to be here.
198
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,017
You aren't president of the Amazon.
199
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,808
Yeah, I learned about
your job in school.
200
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,176
You're a civil servant.
201
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:25,544
We're technically your boss.
202
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:26,878
Oh, please, Morty.
203
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,491
You pay as many taxes
as you have pubes.
204
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:31,016
Oh, I got pubes,
Commander-in-Queef.
205
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,118
You want to count them?
Commander-in-Queef.
206
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,620
That's it! Do it!
207
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,767
Recognize the rare element
Sanchez-eum?
208
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,437
We've been preparing
for a Rick-level eventuality
for some time.
209
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:42,605
You mean you've been ordering
other people to prepare for it
210
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,463
while you sat on your ass
at peace summits.
211
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:45,575
Peace summits are important!
212
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,709
Oh, yeah!
They work great!
213
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,173
We're really drowning in peace!
214
00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:49,968
You suck!
You suck!
215
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,681
Task Force Alpha,
prepare to shrink.
216
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:54,706
Is there a Task Force Alpha
health plan, by the way?
217
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,020
Because if those pills are based
on subatomic compression,
218
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,621
you could get a more curable cancer
219
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,757
just walking through
the mushroom clouds.
220
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:03,448
God damn it!
I'll do it.
221
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:04,516
Whoa.
222
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:05,795
Task Force Alpha is disbanded.
223
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,831
And you two aren't
American anymore!
224
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,699
I can say that.
You're expatriated!
225
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,734
If you step foot
on homeland soil again,
226
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,625
I'll treat it as an invasion.
227
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,626
Is this supposed to be painful?
228
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,805
Painful to watch.
229
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,496
Oh, such lame shrinking.
230
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,798
Oh, his clothes stay the same size?
231
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,467
'70s shrinking, party of one.
232
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,570
[ High-pitched voice ]
Eat my shrinking ass!
233
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:28,086
There he goes. All right.
Let's get out of here, Morty.
234
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:30,687
What the hell?!
235
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,956
I made Sanchez-eum up,
dumbasses.
236
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,924
Don't believe everything
you read on Wikipedia.
237
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:35,914
Stand down.
238
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,816
He's not afraid of pirates.
239
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:41,553
Oh! Run, Morty!
That part was true!
240
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,234
[ Ringing ]
241
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:58,837
I-I can't talk now, sweetie.
Oh, when can you?
242
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,550
Good point.
[ Burps ] What's up?
243
00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:02,585
Remember a little while ago
when you said that, if I wanted,
244
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:05,176
I could, like, leave Earth
and wander the infinite cosmos
245
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,746
to figure out who I am and that
nobody would ever know I'd left
246
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,081
because you could
replace me with a clone?
247
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,528
Mm-hmm.
Am I the clone?
248
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,518
Sorry. What?
Am I the clone?
249
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:14,998
Did the real me choose to leave,
and I only think I chose to stay
250
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,165
because that's what I need to think
251
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,790
because I'm the replacement Beth?
252
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,725
No.
Okay.
253
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:25,630
And one more thing.
If I were a clone,
would you tell me?
254
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,577
Beth, you know, when...
When smart people get happy,
255
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,279
they stop recognizing themselves.
256
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:32,971
And you are very smart because
you're very much my daughter.
257
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,974
Oh, God. You're right.
I'm sorry.
258
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:36,841
Thank you, Dad.
259
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:37,987
All good?
Totally.
260
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,145
I'm fine now.
261
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,625
And just to be sure,
you're not pretending
to be convinced you're real
262
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:44,260
because you're actually
convinced you're a clone
263
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,129
and you're now terrified
that becoming self-aware
264
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,193
would mean I'd have
to terminate you?
265
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,056
No.
Okay. Glad I could help.
266
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,251
See you soon.
267
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,861
[ Breathing heavily ]
Aaaaaah!
268
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,331
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
269
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:07,005
Where do I go?
270
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,252
What does th... What... What...
What... What does this mean?
271
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,241
This means nothing.
272
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,110
Pull forward and park.
273
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,179
Then say that, God damn it!
274
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,347
Sorry.
275
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,015
Bad day.
276
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,883
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
277
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,364
I am Presidentress of
the Mega Gargantuans.
278
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:23,989
We named ourselves
before learning we were small.
279
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,725
Madam Presidentress,
I'm President of America,
280
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:27,870
which is basically the world,
281
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,138
but you didn't hear that from me.
282
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,907
I've come to...
I know who you are.
283
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,809
We've already agreed to a ceasefire
284
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,377
with your ambassadors,
Rick and Morty.
285
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,613
Rick and Morty were here?
Of course they were here.
286
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,247
They can shrink
instantly and teleport.
287
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,372
They told me to give you this.
288
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:42,752
They said it will stretch
as your cancer pill wears off
289
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,644
and your body awkwardly enlarges
at the rate of a '50s movie.
290
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:46,845
Are there pants?
291
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,891
They said you'd prefer
just a shirt.
292
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:51,683
Apparently, you have a need
to swing your dick around?
293
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,853
Rick and Morty escaped.
294
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,799
No shit.
Take me to the Pentagon.
295
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,234
We're at war with Rick and Morty.
296
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,069
You'll want to make a stop
at the White House?
297
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,372
I have pants at the Pentagon,
Rhonda. It's in my contract.
298
00:11:02,396 --> 00:11:04,207
I mean you need to call
a press conference.
299
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:06,931
Israel and Palestine have
announced a permanent ceasefire.
300
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,733
What?
They signed something called
301
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:11,080
"The Pretty Obvious If You
Think About It" accord.
302
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,371
Apparently, an anonymous
American diplomat
303
00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:15,385
took them to a "Star Wars" cantina,
304
00:11:15,409 --> 00:11:17,642
where they smoked
perspective-enhancing
305
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,756
alien pheromones
through a laser hookah.
306
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,090
I still say it has to be Putin.
307
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,859
It was Rick and Morty,
you [bleep] dunce!
308
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,060
But you're getting the credit, sir.
309
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,984
Your approval rating just hit 1
310
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,363
Why would Rick and Morty want that?
311
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,920
Because they're assholes!
312
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:32,669
I'm flattered,
but it takes a whole team
to achieve what we did today.
313
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,059
Thank you.
314
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,005
Well?
They haven't been
back home, sir.
315
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,763
We've got every possible
location under surveillance.
316
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,243
God damn it!
They're right here!
317
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,811
They're here, God damn it!
Code Red! We need backup!
318
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,702
Everybody relax.
319
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:44,847
Just waiting for you
in the only room
320
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,404
you can't blow up or spy on.
321
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,206
So, we're not changing
timelines for you,
322
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,841
but now you have
everything you want,
323
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,109
so you can forget we exist,
324
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,243
and we'll return the favor.
325
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,012
You couldn't say that in a text?
326
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,225
Well, since we won't be seeing
each other again, my...
327
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,327
Guys, we get it.
It's a Code Red. Enough.
328
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,229
My grandson has
worked hard for you,
329
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,265
and I feel like
he's earned a selfie.
330
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,934
Honestly, I could take it
or leave it at this point.
You're taking it.
331
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:07,003
No. What kind of fratty-ass
status move is that?
332
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,193
Get out of my office!
333
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,739
Seriously?
You're that stubborn?
334
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,730
He's the stubborn one.
I'm protecting my country.
335
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,005
Uh, from selfies?
336
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,410
From subordination
to hostile powers.
337
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,145
Uh, does China know about
that deal-breaker?
338
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,814
China doesn't piss
on the White House.
339
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:18,915
Well, why would they?
I'm sure it was expensive.
340
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,272
Get out.
Not without a selfie.
341
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,386
Arrest them.
Son, you have a right
to refuse his order,
342
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,154
and I guarantee you're going
to die if you touch me,
343
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,256
and there's no afterlife.
Everything just goes black.
344
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,413
Don't do it.
345
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,881
Whoa, Rick!
Okay.
346
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:30,815
What was that?
347
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:31,961
Death.
What kind?
348
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,029
Instant.
There was no sound.
349
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,330
He just died.
Yeah, terrifying.
350
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,898
It's a terrifying thing
to watch happen.
351
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,122
It's called a deterrent.
352
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,334
You couldn't just knock him out?
353
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,369
How is knocking out a deterrent?
354
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:41,771
Everyone wants to be knocked out.
355
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,072
Nobody wants to be dead.
356
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,440
You committed murder
in the Oval Office.
357
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:45,975
Now you can't leave.
That's fine.
358
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,176
I said I'm not leaving
without a selfie.
359
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,444
Uh, I don't need a selfie.
360
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,879
And I'm saying
you aren't getting one
361
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:51,002
and you aren't leaving.
362
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:53,204
So we agree?
Yes. No. We disagree
363
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,151
because you think you're getting
a selfie and leaving.
364
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:56,319
Am I getting a selfie?
365
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:57,754
Never.
Then I'm never leaving.
366
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:58,955
Exactly.
See?
367
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,178
Does anyone have a shot?
368
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,492
Yes, nine people.
I can show you.
369
00:13:02,516 --> 00:13:03,414
But I wouldn't recommend...
370
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,183
Open fire!
371
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,295
God, you are dumb!
372
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:07,363
Get the President out of here!
373
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,198
Bad idea.
Wait. Why?
374
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,433
Because if there isn't
someone in here
375
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,068
that they're not supposed to kill,
376
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,436
they're going to wreck
the place trying to kill me.
377
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,471
As long as you live,
no matter where you are,
378
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,306
if it isn't in a selfie with him,
379
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,230
I'll be here.
380
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,877
Jesus!
He's not a [bleep] god!
381
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,100
You don't know what I am!
382
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,212
And you don't know what I can do!
383
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,480
Jesus!
It's... It's cool, Rick!
384
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,048
I'm Doctor Who in this [bleep]
385
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,817
I could be a clone.
I could be a hologram.
386
00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,418
We could be clones
controlled by robots
387
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,942
controlled with special headsets
388
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,188
that the real Rick and Morty
are wearing
389
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:33,144
while they're [bleep] your mother!
390
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,180
I'm going to kill you!
391
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:36,080
Then come to 312 Olive Street!
392
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,348
Is that her address?
393
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,061
You don't know because
you're a bad son!
394
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:39,918
Ow!
Take him down!
395
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,319
Semper fi!
396
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,394
Aaaaah!
397
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,255
Number three, The Twister.
398
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:45,868
Ow! Damn it.
Number four...
399
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:47,125
The Hanky Panky.
400
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,893
[ Knock on door ]
401
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,395
Beth?
402
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,408
My dad might have cloned me,
and I might be the clone.
403
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,210
And he says I'm not, but that's
what he'd say to a clone.
404
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,311
Typical.
405
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,901
Number six, The Texas Ripple.
406
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,147
You look like you to me.
407
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,304
What are you, an idiot?
408
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,105
[ Sighs ]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
409
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,907
That was so rude.
410
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,520
I came to you for help, and now
I'm insulting your intelligence.
411
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,211
And look where
intelligence gets you.
412
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:08,257
Well, don't knock intelligence,
because right now
413
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,115
I'd love to understand
how I can help you.
414
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,495
I can't be in charge
of that, Jerry.
415
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,119
My mind, my ideas are all
part of the variable.
416
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,222
The only constant is you.
417
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:20,091
You know me inside and out.
418
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:23,394
Do what you have to do.
419
00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,063
Okay. Sit down.
420
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,497
Now cross your legs.
421
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,966
That leg on top. Good.
422
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,101
Oh, what is this?
423
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,247
[ Classical music play ]
424
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,971
Senior year, I took you on a date
425
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:34,572
to the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra
426
00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:37,375
performing the music
of Alan Silvestri in the Park.
427
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,944
At this point in the song
from "Volcano,"
428
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,980
when Tommy Lee Jones
and the utility workers
429
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:44,415
are using cars to guide
the lava into a cul-de-sac,
430
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,184
I realized my palms were so sweaty,
431
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,630
I would never get
to hold your hand.
432
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,131
But I was desperate to touch you,
433
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:51,155
so I wiped my palm
on the grass next to me.
434
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,124
But a Snickers wrapper
kind of got stuck on it,
435
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:55,026
so I started kind of jiggling it,
436
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,895
whipping it without
moving too much.
437
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,341
But you started looking over,
and I thought,
438
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,376
"Well, this is it. She's going
to see that I'm a loser,
439
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,577
and I'll never get to touch her.
440
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,167
But I still have time
to touch her."
441
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:04,614
But my hand had Snickers on it,
442
00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:06,304
and the brass section was swelling
443
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,950
because it was the scene with
the guy melting in the lava.
444
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:10,054
And I just thought, "[Bleep] it.
Lips don't sweat."
445
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,579
Wow. Yeah.
446
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:17,181
I'll never forget that feeling.
447
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,050
You're the real thing.
448
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,363
Then that settles it,
449
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:23,154
because my memory
is of hating that night.
450
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:26,324
But now, reliving it,
all I can feel is how lucky I am
451
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:31,329
to be loved by such a simple,
honest, simple man.
452
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,597
Simple twice.
453
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,266
This isn't the woman
you married, Jerry,
454
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:36,579
because this woman loves you.
455
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:39,404
Uh... well,
vive la différence.
456
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,440
[ Chuckles ]
Okay. That was lame.
457
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:45,510
Listen, I... Words.
458
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:46,978
Don Cheadle.
459
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:49,113
[ Moaning ]
460
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:54,363
You have the right to get
the [bleep] out of my office!
461
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,098
You have the right to kiss my dick!
462
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,622
Give me the thing.
463
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,624
Ugh!
464
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:02,226
Oh!
465
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,034
Ugh!
466
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:39,530
Oh! [ Laughing ]
467
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,168
Ugh! Ugh!
468
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,157
Ohh!
469
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,237
Submit!
Submit for the selfie!
470
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,294
I yield! I yield!
Take the selfie!
471
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:13,398
Okay. Morty, get in there
and say, "Cheese."
472
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,033
Morty?
473
00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:16,212
Morty, come on!
474
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,069
[ Sighs ] God damn it!
475
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,604
[ Cellphone vibrating ]
476
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:23,241
Rick, don't get mad,
but I-I stole your portal gun.
477
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,609
What the [bleep] Morty?!
478
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,445
I told you I didn't want
the damn selfie 800 times!
479
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,091
Look, whatever the hell
is going on between you
480
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:31,060
and the president,
it's got nothing to do with me.
481
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:32,728
So where did you go?
I can't tell you.
482
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,053
Rick, did you tell my mom
she might be a clone?
483
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,687
No! I told her she wasn't!
484
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,367
Well, isn't that
what you'd tell a clone?
485
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,668
Oh, for Christ's sake.
486
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,470
Rick, my mom and dad
are getting back together.
487
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,339
What? No!
She's not a clone!
488
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,241
Well, she says it doesn't
matter if she is or isn't
489
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,531
because now she loves my dad,
490
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,344
and she wanted me
and Summer to come home,
491
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,446
and we're hiding from you
so you don't kill her
492
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,103
if she's a clone in a place
493
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:53,682
I picked that you will never find.
494
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:56,174
So don't look for us.
495
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:58,543
Come on, bitch!
496
00:17:58,578 --> 00:17:59,722
Oh, you come on, bitch.
497
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,446
I'm out. I'm done.
498
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,626
I've got to...
I've got to go.
499
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,084
So I win. Then I'm in charge,
and you can't leave.
500
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,663
You're a terrorist.
You're an enemy of the state,
501
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,365
and you kicked me in the balls
10 minutes ago!
502
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:11,222
The office of the President
can't coexist
503
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,224
with a living god
that won't submit to it...
504
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,592
I mean, besides Poseidon.
505
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:16,327
But he's locked up
in Area 51 already,
506
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:17,595
so that doesn't really count.
507
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,208
Mr. President,
I'll make you a deal.
508
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:21,277
If you let me use
your ghetto-ass off-brand
509
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,101
deficit-tripling teleporter,
510
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:25,614
I can go take care of something,
and you'll never see me again.
511
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:28,606
Yes. Deal.
Invisi-troopers, stand down.
512
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:29,685
[ All groan ]
Yeah, yeah.
513
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,375
I don't want to hear it.
514
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,276
You know I could see them
this whole time, right?
515
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,678
Don't push it, Sanchez.
516
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:37,548
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
517
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,590
He found us!
518
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,735
I told you we shouldn't have gone
519
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,337
to the same cabin as last time!
520
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:51,662
Oh, we're not going anywhere.
This ends now.
521
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,564
Dad, if you're my dad.
522
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,177
Of course, you're not my dad.
523
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:56,812
You're here with a gun
because I am a clone.
524
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,581
I guess I have all
your daughter's memories.
525
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:02,206
So I guess I was her,
which makes me related to her.
526
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:03,841
But I don't relate to her.
527
00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:07,411
She left her family and me,
which means I relate to them.
528
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:08,691
So if you kill me, fine.
529
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:09,892
You're not killing her.
530
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,560
But you're killing a real family.
531
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:14,152
And instead of doing that,
will you just go away?
532
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:15,764
Aren't there, like,
infinite time lines?
533
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,200
Can't you just move to one
where I don't know I'm a clone
534
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,469
and where a different
but identical version
535
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,905
of your authentic
sociopathic crazy bitch
536
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,307
of a daughter can keep
making you proud
537
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,565
by being somewhere else?
538
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,268
Beth, you crazy bitch.
You're my daughter.
539
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:31,814
I brought this here to kill Jerry.
540
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,883
Oh, my God!
Jesus Christ!
541
00:19:33,907 --> 00:19:36,874
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You win, Jerry. You win!
542
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:40,378
No amount of genius can stop
your dumb mediocre vacuous roots
543
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,424
from digging into everything
and everyone around you
544
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:45,183
and draining them of
any ability to fend you off.
545
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:48,186
Well, it couldn't have been
easy for you to say that.
546
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,331
I appreciate it.
547
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,466
Morty, where's my portal gun?
548
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:51,455
Let's get out of here.
549
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:52,601
I'm staying here, Rick.
550
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,425
Are you... Ugh!
551
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,660
Nobody gets it.
552
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,361
Nothing you think matters matters.
553
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:58,629
This isn't special.
554
00:19:58,665 --> 00:19:59,875
This... This is happening
infinite times
555
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,399
across infinite realities.
556
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:02,878
Including this?
[ Farts ]
557
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,769
Yes!
558
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:08,239
Which is not to say that,
subjectively, it wasn't funny.
559
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:09,473
Are you going to stay?
560
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,175
There's infinite time lines, Morty.
561
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,289
Why would I stay in the one
where I trashed the White House,
562
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,745
became an enemy of America
563
00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:17,515
and the lowest-status character
in my idiot family?
564
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,452
Because of the fart?
565
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,221
There's still some rubble
over there.
566
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,501
I don't think you've
ever understood
567
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:27,858
what "Secretary of the Interior"
means!
568
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,894
Hi, Mr. President.
I'm Rick Sanchez,
569
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,662
but not the one that did this.
570
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,665
We Ricks travel the infinite and
switch places with each other
571
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,367
like hermit crabs, I think.
572
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,336
I'm fly-fishing Rick.
573
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,782
You can distinguish me
from the Rick that you had
a falling-out with
574
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:42,974
by my fly-fishing enthusiasm
and accompanying hat.
575
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,542
I hope I can be of service
576
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,388
if, uh, you ever find
the planet to be in danger.
577
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:49,513
Friends?
578
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,382
Sounds good to me.
579
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,783
Kids, dinner!
580
00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:54,185
I got Panda Express!
581
00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,486
Did you get sugar chicken?
582
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:56,932
That's kind of the only
thing they have.
583
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,889
I love Panda E!
Thanks, Mom!
584
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,237
I'm hoping to get a piece
of your sugar chicken later.
585
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,461
[ Laughs ] Stop it.
586
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,407
Here's your [burps]
stupid hat, dipshit.
587
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,565
Dad, you can't talk to
Jerry that way anymore.
588
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,433
We're a real family now.
589
00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:11,547
In many ways, things
will be like season 1
590
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:12,870
but more streamlined.
591
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,239
Now Jerry and I are happily
married parents,
592
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:16,685
and the idea that I was motivated
593
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,676
by a fear of you leaving
can be eschewed.
594
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,811
Eschewed?
You've never used that word.
595
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,380
Maybe you are a clone.
596
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:24,560
[ Laughs ] It's not like
Rick would tell us.
597
00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:26,584
[ Laughter ]
598
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:33,291
♪
599
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:03,754
Ooh-wee!
What a season!
600
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:06,490
Sorry I never showed up,
but I got married.
601
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:07,892
I had a baby.
602
00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:10,828
I went back to school
and got my G-E-E-E-D.
603
00:22:10,863 --> 00:22:13,331
What did you do
while you were waiting?
604
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:16,945
Hopefully you didn't
just [bleep] around
and waste your life.
605
00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:18,569
Ooh-wee!
606
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:23,674
See you for Season 4 in,
like, a really long time!
607
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:27,511
I might even have
a big white Santa Claus beard
608
00:22:27,547 --> 00:22:29,647
and... and... and a...
609
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:32,049
And a couple of grandkids
610
00:22:32,085 --> 00:22:34,785
and all that kind of stuff.
611
00:22:34,821 --> 00:22:36,620
See you... See you then!
612
00:22:40,426 --> 00:22:41,692
Did you get any of that?