1 00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:05,270 We're out of syrup. 2 00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:06,338 Huh. You know what? 3 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,007 Maybe I'll use my intern. 4 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,276 Glootie? - Good? 5 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:12,945 - Thanks, Glootie. - Anything else? 6 00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:14,479 Do you want to develop an app? 7 00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:15,948 - No thanks, Glootie. - Hey, what's up, Glootie? 8 00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:17,816 Hi, Morty. Do you want to develop an app? 9 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,217 - No thanks. - Rick, why does it say, 10 00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,353 "Do not develop my app," on your intern's forehead? 11 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,687 Why, you want to develop one? 12 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:23,756 Ah, I'm glad you asked that, Jerry. 13 00:00:23,758 --> 00:00:25,490 It's so you don't develop his app. 14 00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:28,693 Glootie, go make some photocopies of something. Cool. 15 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,429 Well, if anyone wants to develop an app with me, I'm down. 16 00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:33,966 He seems to really want to develop an app. 17 00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:36,168 He really does, sweetie, but nobody's gonna do that. 18 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,569 Now, if you'll excuse me, 19 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,504 I've got a quick solo adventure to go on, 20 00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:43,375 and this one will not be directed by Ron Howard. He's gonna go poop. 21 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,110 When Grandpa Rick pats his belly like that 22 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,645 and leaves without Morty, it means he's going to go poop. 23 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,647 He's a shy pooper. He has a secret pooping place. 24 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,382 Man, you, Summer. 25 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,117 Honey, why can't you get this excited about your SATs? 26 00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:56,054 Well, I'm man enough to simply say, "I'm going to poop," 27 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:59,324 and I'd be honored to have Ron Howard involved. 28 00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:01,259 Good job, hon. Way to go, Dad. We're rooting for ya. 29 00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,065 He's really putting you to work, huh? 30 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,400 Did you want to develop an app? 31 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,669 - I'll pass, Glootie. - Hmm, your loss. 32 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,404 Oh, yeah? Why's that? 33 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,938 Eh, it's an app you'd want to develop. 34 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,274 - Can I ask what it is? - Of course you can. 35 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:19,143 That's always the first step in app development. 36 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:22,547 Ah. 37 00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:23,816 50/50! Final offer! 38 00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:23,369 Reverse digestion extrapolation. 39 00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:25,737 Time to meet your maker. 40 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:28,807 What are you guys doing? 41 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,408 Did you develop an app? 42 00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:32,344 Rule number one in app development, son... 43 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:33,745 Never follow the rules. 44 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:36,749 Except when the rule is tattooed on an alien's forehead, Dad. 45 00:03:36,751 --> 00:03:38,550 Why do you think Rick would have that rule? 46 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,218 'Cause he's a disrupt-o-phobe. 47 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,353 No, Dad, no. 48 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,887 To keep something horrible from happening, 49 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,023 something he's too lazy to explain. 50 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,759 Guys, we're getting our first users. 51 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,230 Whoa, this new app just matched me 52 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,899 with a guy that is su my ty. 53 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,969 Super my type. Learn to abbre. 54 00:03:56,971 --> 00:03:57,970 Hey! 55 00:03:57,972 --> 00:04:00,839 Your su ty works at Jersey Mike's 56 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,975 and sees 25 Phish shows a year. 57 00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:05,577 - That is so Danny. - Summer! 58 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,979 - Danny? - Summer Smith? 59 00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:09,581 Danny Publits from Lovefinderrz with two "R's" and a "Z"? 60 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,184 I ran all the way here while staring at your profile. 61 00:04:12,186 --> 00:04:13,918 I tripped on a fire hydrant and fell down, 62 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,788 so I'm covered in gravel that stuck to my sweat. 63 00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,189 And even after a shower, 64 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:19,191 I'll still be into a jam band for old junkies, 65 00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:21,593 but I think this world cares too much about bands 66 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,862 and too little about love. 67 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:26,331 And I think I love you. - Me, too. 68 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,733 Hi, I'm my underaged daughter's mother. 69 00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,335 Nice to... whoa! 70 00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,604 Come on. Just met. 71 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,006 Uh, this isn't working. 72 00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,607 Wait. What are you... 73 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:36,809 Never mind. 74 00:04:36,811 --> 00:04:39,744 I quit, I'm gay, and I love Xander. 75 00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:42,747 Stupid phones are destroying us. 76 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,349 Hey, sweetie. 77 00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,418 Honey, our daughter ran off with a Frisbee golfer 78 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,220 because of some app with a really dumb, 79 00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:49,621 really forgettable name. 80 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:53,625 Like a really dumb, uncreative, super sweaty name. 81 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,827 Anyway, I'll be late. I love you. 82 00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:57,029 Got it. I love you, too. 83 00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,832 Okay, Glootie, take the app down. 84 00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:02,234 Can't take it down. I'm just an intern. 85 00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:06,905 Uh, that's not how apps work. 86 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,773 Then make it how it works. 87 00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:11,643 This isn't how making things work works. 88 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,111 Get... get it off the server. 89 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,847 Y-You think we're stupid, but we're not. 90 00:05:14,849 --> 00:05:16,981 We know apps have something to do with servers. 91 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:17,916 The server's on the mother ship. 92 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,051 Where's the mother ship? 93 00:05:19,053 --> 00:05:20,652 - It's coming. - Take us to it. 94 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:21,920 - No. - Yes. 95 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,522 Shake him more, Morty. That was working. 96 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:24,989 Take us to the mother ship. 97 00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,271 Okay, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. 98 00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:41,339 An ominous beeping app. 99 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,542 You can't stay made at a guy with this kind of talent. 100 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,210 Dad, you can, and you have to. 101 00:05:51,686 --> 00:05:53,418 - Ribbit, ribbit. - Ribbit, ribbit. 102 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,420 - Hey, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit! - Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit! 103 00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:57,422 Look at this guy. He wants to eat me so bad. 104 00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:58,823 You want to eat me, don't you? 105 00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,559 - Ribbit. - Just kidding. Have some drugs. 106 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,561 - Are you Vermigurber? - What does this guy want? 107 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,563 Who is this monkey? - I'm here about a sandwich. 108 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,364 Oh, well you came to the right place... 109 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,633 ...'cause you're about to get a bullet sandwich 110 00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:11,236 on two slices of whole... gun. 111 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,772 You might want to get that. 112 00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:16,575 Hello? 113 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,777 Dad, give the human whatever he wants. 114 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,713 He knows where I live. He's crazy! 115 00:06:20,715 --> 00:06:23,448 You idiot. 116 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,118 I have 800,000 kids. 117 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,120 Don't forget your voicemail. 118 00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:32,725 You have 470,000 messages. 119 00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:34,126 Oh, ah, that's half of them. 120 00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:35,995 Okay, w-w-what do you want? What do you want? 121 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,197 Wait, this is seriously about sandwiches? 122 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,600 I thought this was about drugs or guns 123 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,668 or the fact that I'm a fly that runs a frog restaurant. 124 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:46,204 There's a million things that are interesting about me, 125 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,472 and none of them are sandwiches. 126 00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:50,008 - Who ordered it? - Talk to our delivery drone. 127 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,978 He... he run off to fight in the robot wars. 128 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,014 Hey, ape man, I hope this was worth 129 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,950 making a whole swarm of enemies. 130 00:06:57,952 --> 00:07:01,486 It will be when I find whoever shit in my toilet. 131 00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:04,489 Is that code for something? Someone look that up. 132 00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:06,358 If that's drug slang, I need to know it. 133 00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:09,561 Ah! 134 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:12,364 - Mom, you can't stop true love. - Oh, yes, I can. 135 00:07:12,366 --> 00:07:13,966 - You're assaulting me! - Keep your voice down. 136 00:07:13,968 --> 00:07:15,500 I'm being assaulted! 137 00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:16,835 Oh, yeah? Okay. 138 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,236 Statutory rape! - Whoa. 139 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,437 My daughter's about to be raped! 140 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,839 No, I'm not! I'm being assaulted! 141 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:21,974 - Rape! - Assault! 142 00:07:21,976 --> 00:07:24,242 - Rape! - Nobody cares. It's a motel. 143 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,978 Nobody's here because their life's going so great 144 00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:28,112 they can afford to get mixed up in yours. 145 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,982 Deal with this on your own. 146 00:07:29,984 --> 00:07:31,984 You can't stop us from getting a motel room. 147 00:07:31,986 --> 00:07:33,118 Fine. I'll get one, too. 148 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,653 I'm getting the one next door, 149 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,254 and I'm putting a glass to the wall, and I'm listening. 150 00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,123 - Fine. Enjoy. - I will. 151 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,126 - I'm Danny, by the way. - You had your chance, dick. 152 00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:45,998 Take your app down. 153 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,065 T-Take... take it down. 154 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,400 - What? - I'm their hostage. 155 00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:50,535 - Do they have weapons? - Nope, but neither do I. 156 00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:51,870 Do... do you have a weapon? 157 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,538 No. 158 00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:55,340 - Take the app down. - Take the app down. 159 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:56,408 I can't. I'm an intern. 160 00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,677 Okay, well who tells interns what to do? 161 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,078 Not you, that's for sure. 162 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:04,216 Take us to whoever does, or w-w-we'll... we'll punch you. 163 00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:05,417 Okay. 164 00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:06,951 Not bad, Morty. 165 00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,687 Yeah, I don't know when the other shoe's gonna drop, 166 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,155 but this is working pretty good so far. 167 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:14,226 Greetings. We are the Monogatrons. 168 00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:16,628 While your species was still toying with fire, 169 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,564 ours mastered the science of functioning, 170 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:20,965 committed relationships. 171 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:22,767 As the latest planet to develop our app, 172 00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:27,706 you will now witness the true power of superior intimacy. 173 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,107 Take the app down. 174 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,844 Take it down, or... we'll... We'll... we'll punch you. 175 00:08:31,846 --> 00:08:34,112 Is there someone with a gun or... 176 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,514 It's on its way. 177 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:36,448 The app remains up. 178 00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:38,183 So what's the evil plan? 179 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,052 Does there have to be an evil plan? 180 00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:42,254 - Oh, uh, uh... - Uh, someone wanted a gun? 181 00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:43,722 I'll take it. Thanks. 182 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,457 Here's the evil plan. 183 00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:46,591 Goddamn it. 184 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,260 As a preapp civilization, 185 00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:51,396 your love's value is defined by scarcity. 186 00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,332 You are highly trained to seek it, 187 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:58,270 and you have no idea how to maintain it. 188 00:08:58,272 --> 00:09:00,539 Had you bothered to master love, 189 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:04,209 you would've learned by now, it is as abundant as water. 190 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,478 You know what isn't? Water. 191 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,480 That runs out. 192 00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:10,482 So we'll be taking yours. 193 00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:13,618 While your planet continues to dick around with a, uh... 194 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,353 What is their version of it called? 195 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,756 Lovefinderrz, with two "R's" and a "Z." 196 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,491 - Oof. - Yeah, not my idea. 197 00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:21,626 - Goddamn. - Am I interrupting? 198 00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:25,097 - Impossible. Here she is. - Mwah. 199 00:09:25,099 --> 00:09:26,899 Your prisoners are getting away. 200 00:09:26,901 --> 00:09:28,633 Prisoners are just things. 201 00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:30,903 Connect with me. Tell me about your day. 202 00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:32,304 I had an incredible meeting. 203 00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:34,907 Did you know humans are 80% water? 204 00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,577 And I found a new podcast we can listen to tonight. 205 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:39,644 Love it. 206 00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:40,779 Okay, back to work. 207 00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,782 Find and kill those earthlings. 208 00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:51,123 We're outnumbered. There's no hope. 209 00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:54,459 Then we go out in glory. 210 00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,328 Flesh intruder, prepare to die. 211 00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,130 Oh, hold on. 212 00:09:58,132 --> 00:10:00,265 My apologies, Lieutenant Commander. 213 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,334 No problem. At ease, Soldier. 214 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,339 Initiate Employee Evaluation Mode. 215 00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:10,275 - Accessing delivery archive. - Okay, listen. 216 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,210 You delivered an avian protein club sandwich 217 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,679 with no lettu... Goddamn it. 218 00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,901 Oy, scoping for this bit, then? 219 00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:40,172 Alright, a-a-alright. I know you want to have 220 00:10:40,174 --> 00:10:41,974 the big guy/little guy fight, but... 221 00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:44,376 Aw, are you kidding me? 222 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:50,248 Here at the Midland Quasar, where, in a complete upset, 223 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,050 the Robolution has overturned the lizards. 224 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,318 It's totally unexpected. 225 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,853 Uh, I understand, Mr. Phillips. 226 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,855 Yes. 227 00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:59,524 I believe this is yours. 228 00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,127 You, uh... you dropped that. 229 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,196 I'll have to call you back. 230 00:11:04,198 --> 00:11:05,730 Where do you want to die? 231 00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:08,266 Susan, is conference room three available? 232 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:11,403 Can I look at a photo of my wife while you kill me? 233 00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:13,071 Sure, but I'm doing her a favor. 234 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,606 She either has terrible taste, 235 00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:16,408 or she's trapped in a marriage to a toilet thief. 236 00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:18,210 She's dead. 237 00:11:18,212 --> 00:11:20,012 And I don't mind joining her. 238 00:11:20,014 --> 00:11:23,748 Life has been hollow since I lost her. 239 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:26,218 Using your toilet was nice, though. 240 00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:29,354 I'm a bit of a shy pooper. 241 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,256 I'm ready when you are. 242 00:11:33,027 --> 00:11:34,927 Stay there. 243 00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:38,963 Tell him what you told me. 244 00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,098 What is this? What's happening? 245 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,033 Tell him what you told me. 246 00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:42,434 My wife's still alive. 247 00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:44,436 Sh... sh... she went into remission 10 years ago. 248 00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:45,838 And what did you do today? 249 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,105 Oh, I, uh, pooped 250 00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,973 on a really awesome toilet I found... 251 00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,443 Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh! 252 00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:53,445 Don't use your dead wife as an excuse. 253 00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:56,181 You on my toilet because you don't know your place, 254 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,050 and your place is nothing. 255 00:11:58,052 --> 00:11:59,718 So next time you stumble onto a toilet 256 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,255 that feels too good for your ass, trust me, it is. 257 00:12:03,257 --> 00:12:04,322 You're not gonna kill me? 258 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,990 Don't tell me what to do! 259 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,972 ♪ See the flick of my wrist, of my wrist ♪ 260 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,440 ♪ And I know she know what's up ♪ 261 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,442 ♪ Baby, this is my shit my shit ♪ 262 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,779 ♪ See the flick of my wrist, my wrist ♪ 263 00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:31,116 Are you kidding me? 264 00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:34,452 ♪ When you in my section, fill it up when my cup empty ♪ 265 00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:35,854 ♪ I can't with rats ♪ 266 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:38,624 ♪ That's a fact, that's a dub ♪ 267 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:46,398 Oh, so you like being alive? 268 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,333 So why the are you back here? 269 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,268 After you left, I thought about what you said 270 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,803 and how much I needed to hear it, 271 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,605 but then I thought about why you were saying it, 272 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,473 who you were really saying it to. 273 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,008 You need the same thing I needed, Rick. 274 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,611 You need someone to give you, permission to live. 275 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,413 What the...? 276 00:13:01,415 --> 00:13:03,281 I thought you were a shy pooper. 277 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,083 You know what shy pooping is, Rick? 278 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,885 It's a pointless bid for control. 279 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,420 You want to take the one part of life 280 00:13:08,422 --> 00:13:10,488 that you truly think is yours, and you want to protect it 281 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,158 from a universe that takes whatever it wants. 282 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,826 It took my wife. 283 00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,895 It clearly took something from you. 284 00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,630 We can spend our lives fighting that, 285 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:20,298 or we can choose to be free. 286 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,968 You're right, Tony. I'm done fighting. 287 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,302 Time to be free. 288 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,503 Oh, wait, you're actually gonna... 289 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:26,704 Oh, God! Oh, God! 290 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,645 Where am I? - Hi, little mouse. 291 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,314 Baby bee? I missed you so much. 292 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,849 I never really left you. 293 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,585 Then you know that a few years ago 294 00:13:39,587 --> 00:13:41,719 I started getting into... - Strap-on porn? 295 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,521 Yes. I thought it was hot. 296 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,457 Now, come on. - Where are you going? 297 00:13:45,459 --> 00:13:47,058 - To poop. - Where? 298 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,261 Wherever you want, forever. 299 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:50,328 My God. 300 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,465 You rang? I'm pooping, too. 301 00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:54,800 Come, Tony. Come on. 302 00:13:54,802 --> 00:13:57,335 Come poop with me. Poop with me, Tony. 303 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,937 Poop with me. 304 00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,205 What are you waiting for? 305 00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:02,007 Aren't you gonna join us, Tony? 306 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,576 Aren't you gonna join us in the pooping? 307 00:14:21,495 --> 00:14:22,494 Where are we? What is this? 308 00:14:22,496 --> 00:14:23,895 That's it. Get out. 309 00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,230 You can make a perfectly-realized, 310 00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:26,632 toilet-filled simulation of heaven, 311 00:14:26,634 --> 00:14:28,166 but you can't share a toilet? 312 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,435 Don't insult my craft. 313 00:14:29,437 --> 00:14:30,969 The chemical is Globaflyn. 314 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,504 It connects the whatever-you-want section 315 00:14:32,506 --> 00:14:34,440 of your brain to the whatever-you-have section. 316 00:14:34,442 --> 00:14:37,108 If your heaven is toilets, that's on you. 317 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,444 All of these people... 318 00:14:38,446 --> 00:14:40,245 Are living their wildest, meaningless dreams 319 00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:41,980 and leaving me out of them. 320 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,916 People you refuse to kill and refuse to let into your life. 321 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:48,253 An offer you rejected, so here's your last chance. 322 00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:50,989 Goodbye forever. If you touch my toilet again, you die. 323 00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,057 You need a friend. 324 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,459 I have a million cooler friends than you. 325 00:14:53,461 --> 00:14:54,926 - I'll be seeing you. - You'll be dying. 326 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:57,062 - We're gonna be friends. - You're gonna be dead. 327 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,596 So, we fight our way to the gas line, 328 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,265 we cut it, and then we set a fire. 329 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,599 Okay. Alright. 330 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,469 Morty, "Adventures of Jerry and Morty," huh? 331 00:15:03,471 --> 00:15:04,670 Put her there. - Dad, look, y-you know, 332 00:15:04,672 --> 00:15:06,004 w-we don't need to high-five. 333 00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,339 It's... it's kind of your fault 334 00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:08,406 that we're in this situation at all. 335 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,208 I know, but, you know, come on. 336 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,677 "Adventures of Jerry and Morty." 337 00:15:11,679 --> 00:15:14,012 Okay. 338 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,493 Mwah. 339 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,900 Jeff, I can explain everything. 340 00:15:34,902 --> 00:15:36,234 You don't have to. 341 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,370 Can you just marry us instead? 342 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:39,771 Jeff, don't do it! 343 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,507 Richard. 344 00:15:41,509 --> 00:15:42,908 Maggie. 345 00:15:42,910 --> 00:15:46,178 - Running Bird. - Let's get out of here. 346 00:15:46,180 --> 00:15:47,713 - Priest Witherspoon. - Josiah? 347 00:15:47,715 --> 00:15:50,782 Let's get the out of here. 348 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,585 Summer Smith, let's get the hell out of here. 349 00:15:53,587 --> 00:15:55,721 You had me at my own name. 350 00:15:55,723 --> 00:15:58,924 Oh, yeah, no. Why would I...? 351 00:15:58,926 --> 00:16:00,192 Summer! 352 00:16:00,194 --> 00:16:01,259 Thing. 353 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,562 Come on. I can't steer this. 354 00:16:05,599 --> 00:16:07,599 What in the hell are you doing? 355 00:16:07,601 --> 00:16:09,935 - Parenting. - That's not how I did it. 356 00:16:09,937 --> 00:16:11,937 Yeah, where's your daughter? 357 00:16:11,939 --> 00:16:13,405 Ah, you're right. 358 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:15,274 She joined ISIS. 359 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:20,412 It's Glootie, and he's had a change of heart. 360 00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:21,813 And he's going to set us free. 361 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,282 Actually, he's been blamed for bringing you aboard 362 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,483 and assigned to execute you. 363 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,085 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. 364 00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:29,555 What would your girlfriend think of you murdering? 365 00:16:29,557 --> 00:16:31,223 I happen to be between relationships right now. 366 00:16:31,225 --> 00:16:34,626 Really? I thought your species had perfected relationships. 367 00:16:34,628 --> 00:16:36,094 Here. We're not allowed to use those apps. 368 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,696 I wonder why. 369 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,498 Yeah, that's what I thought, Glootie. 370 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,367 Looks like you and I... 371 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:43,902 ...are all we've got. 372 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,306 I'm not helping you any more than that, 373 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:49,641 but if you can find the hangar, 374 00:16:49,643 --> 00:16:51,309 grab a ship and get the hell out of here. 375 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,644 Where you going, Glootie? 376 00:16:52,646 --> 00:16:55,647 I've got a date with dumping a dating app. 377 00:16:55,649 --> 00:16:57,649 Glootie-ootie-ooh! 378 00:16:57,651 --> 00:16:59,517 - Was that ever his thing? - No. 379 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,519 - He never exited that way. - No, first time. 380 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,121 Dad, I want to say something. 381 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,991 I started today disgusted and embarrassed to be your son, 382 00:17:05,993 --> 00:17:07,393 and then later I thought we were gonna die 383 00:17:07,395 --> 00:17:09,328 because you're a loser. 384 00:17:10,664 --> 00:17:12,330 - There's no more, is there? - Nope. 385 00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:14,466 Now quit up, and let's go. 386 00:17:15,603 --> 00:17:17,669 Is Tony here? I br... I brought him some, uh, 387 00:17:17,671 --> 00:17:19,805 Vegan Fiber Chili, delicious family recipe, 388 00:17:19,807 --> 00:17:21,807 and a box of these, uh, chocolates, sugar free. 389 00:17:21,809 --> 00:17:23,475 He can eat as many of these as he wants. 390 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:25,143 Anyways, uh, just wanted to drop these off, 391 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,813 and you tell him, uh, the toilet's all his. 392 00:17:27,815 --> 00:17:29,481 H-He... he'll know what I mean. 393 00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:31,116 Tony died. 394 00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,552 - Excuse me? - He quit his job, 395 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,022 starting living life to the fullest. 396 00:17:37,024 --> 00:17:38,156 He crashed into a tree 397 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:40,558 space-skiing down Mount Space Everest. 398 00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:44,562 There's a Mount Space Everest? 399 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,298 Okay. Uh, Jesus. 400 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,634 I-I got to process this. 401 00:17:48,636 --> 00:17:49,968 Oh, no, no. You... You don't want to eat that. 402 00:17:49,970 --> 00:17:51,303 Y-y-you'll... you'll... You'll become 403 00:17:51,305 --> 00:17:53,238 the opening of "The Beverly Hillbillies." 404 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,573 You know what I'm saying? A little bubbling crude? 405 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,643 Texas tea? - I don't know these references. 406 00:17:57,645 --> 00:17:59,445 Yeah, but you have a Space Everest? 407 00:17:59,447 --> 00:18:01,313 Watch "Space Beverly Hillbillies" 408 00:18:01,315 --> 00:18:04,483 so my jokes can land, you. 409 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,467 Now what? 410 00:18:21,469 --> 00:18:22,934 Happily ever after. 411 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,336 And after that? 412 00:18:24,338 --> 00:18:26,204 We'll find out together. 413 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:29,074 Summer how many soul mates is that in the last week? 414 00:18:29,076 --> 00:18:32,210 Four. You can't stop me from loving who I love, Mom. 415 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:33,545 Oh, the I can't. 416 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,280 I'm gonna mother you until your 18th birthday, 417 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:38,416 even if I get thrown in prison for non-consensual mothering. 418 00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,552 And even then, I will break out, 419 00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,554 come to your house, kick down your door, 420 00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:45,491 and mother your face out of your stupid asshole. 421 00:18:45,493 --> 00:18:47,559 I'm gonna daughter your brains out, bitch. 422 00:18:58,839 --> 00:18:59,905 Mother 423 00:18:59,907 --> 00:19:02,374 That's my name. Don't wear it out. 424 00:19:05,846 --> 00:19:08,380 Gimme dat new soul mate. 425 00:19:08,382 --> 00:19:10,849 Ad wall? 426 00:19:10,851 --> 00:19:13,251 This. 427 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,053 Ad wall? What, they want us to pay for it now? 428 00:19:15,055 --> 00:19:16,855 Ugh, ad wall? 429 00:19:16,857 --> 00:19:19,458 Come on, Mom. Let's go home. 430 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:23,929 Great. We lost Earth. 431 00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:27,465 We aren't defined by what we do, and we only need each other. 432 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,334 Each other... and water. 433 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,602 There's no water? 434 00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:31,803 Honey, the whole point of conquering Earth... 435 00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:33,739 I know the point of conquering Earth. 436 00:19:33,741 --> 00:19:35,807 Don't talk to me like... - Like I'm thirsty? 437 00:19:35,809 --> 00:19:38,676 Like I'm your mother, you childish prick. 438 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,278 How much water are you sucking 439 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,080 through these stupid tubes on your back? 440 00:19:42,082 --> 00:19:44,149 These tubes are cool, and I want a divorce. 441 00:19:44,151 --> 00:19:48,420 You can have one for a glass of Goddamn water. 442 00:19:48,422 --> 00:19:52,157 Look, uh, on the off-chance that you used the app 443 00:19:52,159 --> 00:19:55,761 and there's someone out there waiting for you, I, uh... 444 00:19:55,763 --> 00:19:58,897 Jerry, I didn't use it. Did you? 445 00:19:58,899 --> 00:20:01,299 Me? No. God, of course not. 446 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:03,168 Well, then, we're all good, dawg. 447 00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:12,244 Hey, uh... Hey, uh, Tony's dad, 448 00:20:12,246 --> 00:20:15,713 uh, th-this is, um, $8 billion in your local currency, 449 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:19,384 and, uh, this is a kit you can use to clone a new son. 450 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,186 He... he won't have the same brain. 451 00:20:21,188 --> 00:20:23,989 He'll kind of be an animal man, but you can teach him stuff. 452 00:20:23,991 --> 00:20:25,457 I-I-I also wanted to let you know 453 00:20:25,459 --> 00:20:27,058 I did explore infinite universes, 454 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,595 and there is a version of Tony that was completely evil 455 00:20:29,597 --> 00:20:31,129 and ended up causing a lot of genocide 456 00:20:31,131 --> 00:20:32,664 because of how fulfilled he was. 457 00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:34,532 So, really, a lot of ways of looking at this 458 00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:37,002 as not much of a loss. 459 00:20:37,004 --> 00:20:38,604 I understand. 460 00:20:38,606 --> 00:20:41,473 It's, uh, hard losing a friend. 461 00:20:41,475 --> 00:20:42,674 - You. - What? 462 00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,476 He's not my friend. 463 00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:04,362 There he is. There's our guy. 464 00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:05,764 Congrats, Tony. 465 00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:07,299 Have fun with your stupid toilet 466 00:21:07,301 --> 00:21:09,367 that you get to use all by yourself now. 467 00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:11,503 Enjoy using it all by yourself while you sit there 468 00:21:11,505 --> 00:21:13,371 and think about how nobody wants to be around you 469 00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:14,840 and how you ruined it for yourself 470 00:21:14,842 --> 00:21:16,108 because you're a huge piece of 471 00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:17,709 Look at you sitting there, 472 00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:19,978 King Shit on his throne of loneliness. 473 00:21:19,980 --> 00:21:22,114 Enjoy this toilet with a thousand of me 474 00:21:22,116 --> 00:21:24,650 screaming every time you take a 475 00:21:24,652 --> 00:21:26,518 All hail his majesty, 476 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:30,856 the sa-a-ddest piece of garbage in the entire cosmos. 477 00:21:30,858 --> 00:21:34,125 Long live the big, bad, doo-doo daddy. 478 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:37,529 May his reign last 1,000 years. 479 00:22:10,297 --> 00:22:13,765 Rick, did you take the Tapatío? 480 00:22:13,767 --> 00:22:15,834 Hmm, Globaflyn? 481 00:22:18,438 --> 00:22:21,439 Thanks. I could never lift it up. No problem. 482 00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:24,776 I'll be able to drink water for weeks because of you. 483 00:22:24,778 --> 00:22:26,979 It's just part of my job, ma'am. 484 00:22:28,982 --> 00:22:30,982 Breaker one nine, this is Jerry Smith. 485 00:22:30,984 --> 00:22:33,451 Uh, just finished my first delivery of the day. 486 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:34,720 900 more to go.