1 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,743 H-Hey, Rick... 2 00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:13,180 uh, need me for any adventures? 3 00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:14,315 Huh? 4 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,515 Adventures? Remember those? 5 00:00:15,548 --> 00:00:17,484 Oh, y-yeah, not right now, Morty, uh, 6 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,419 but d-definitely next week though. 7 00:00:19,452 --> 00:00:21,355 You been saying that a while now, buddy, 8 00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:23,925 so, I think I'm gonna give you a little nudge 9 00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:26,526 by cashing in a few of these bad boys. 10 00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:29,096 Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're still doing the punch card system? 11 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,298 Never stopped. 12 00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:32,300 Bam! Read 'em and weep. 13 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,335 Fully punched cards, each entitling me 14 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,070 to an adventure of my choosing. 15 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,805 I don't make the rules. Yeah, I do, you little gremlin, 16 00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:40,573 and I definitely did not stamp all these. 17 00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:42,475 You never remember to stamp the cards. You're always drunk. 18 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,045 I didn't know we were still doing this! 19 00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,746 T-This stinks to high heaven, Morty. I'm not accepting these. 20 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,282 I knew you were going to do this. 21 00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:50,117 So I got receipts, bitch. 22 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,419 I k-- I kept notes. 23 00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:52,519 This is gibberish. 24 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,188 "Isle of the Mortysaurs"? 25 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,455 "Takes One to Know One"? 26 00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:56,991 I make up titles for each adventure. 27 00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,526 You did the same thing for that MS readathon at your school, 28 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,162 Morty, and you didn't read shit. 29 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,862 It's okay to lie when you're fighting Multiple Sclerosis! 30 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,266 Or when you think you won't get caught! 31 00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,533 How are you going to "catch me"? 32 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,535 Oh, you done and did it now, little man. 33 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,837 That's your ass. Don't grift a grifter, Morty. 34 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:13,174 I got friends in cosmic places. 35 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,241 Yeah, uh-huh. 36 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,675 I need an audit. 37 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,711 Oh, right, you were already watching. 38 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,047 I'll come get you. Wha-Wh-What is this? 39 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,918 I am The Observer! You're so busted. 40 00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,518 Look at your face, you're so fucked. 41 00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:28,055 I observe all! 42 00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:29,489 They observe all, Morty. 43 00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:31,758 Cosmic all-seeing species. So? 44 00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:33,928 So, they're basically universal police body-cams 45 00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,997 but you can't turn them off before you beat a minority. 46 00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,665 Or in your case, before you cook the adventure books! 47 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:40,600 I don't do that! We gonna find out! 48 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:44,038 Oh, I'm here for this! 49 00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:18,705 I bet a solid 70% of these are bullshit. 50 00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:20,441 Oh, quit your bitchin' and do the audit. 51 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,875 I-I got nothing to hide! 52 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,643 Alright, Observer, gimme "Truth or Dare." 53 00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:25,012 Christ, these names, Morty. 54 00:02:25,046 --> 00:02:27,580 It's shorthand! I have observed it! 55 00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:31,818 Now gaze upon me and so shall you... 56 00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:37,024 Two attack patterns and a giant glowing weak spot -- 57 00:02:37,058 --> 00:02:39,393 "Legend of Zelda" tutorial-ass bullshit. 58 00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:40,593 I thought it was kind of fun. 59 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,997 Halt, unidentified adventurers. 60 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,799 We are the guardians of this sanctuary. 61 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:50,004 One of us tells only truths, the other, only lies. 62 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,704 You ever fucked this guy's wife? 63 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:52,839 Yes. 64 00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:55,276 Well, how about that, he guessed right. 65 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,278 I forgive you! 66 00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:58,379 Oh, shit! 67 00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,447 Alright, next room. 68 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,382 No, I wanna watch. 69 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,683 Did you see how one of them lied? 70 00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:05,252 Fine, I'll call that one legit. 71 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,720 I'm not here to nitpick, I'm here to find blatant fraud. 72 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:11,525 Okay, uh, show me "Late Night Western." 73 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:14,261 Morty, Morty, Morty, take me -- drive me -- 74 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,296 take me -- 75 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:17,231 w-wan go western bacon. 76 00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:18,865 M-Morty, western bacon now. 77 00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:20,167 Ugh. 78 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,672 Ohoho, yeah. 79 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,408 Before you say anything -- I knew it! Busted! 80 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:28,909 You're banned from that Carl's Jr.! 81 00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:30,844 That doesn't make the drive-thru an adventure, Morty. 82 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:31,878 Invalid. 83 00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,949 Sounds like it's anyone's game! 84 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:37,851 Well, n-no, it -- it's not a bet, it's an audit. 85 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:41,888 Observer, show us "Maximum Overdrive with Clothes"! 86 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,160 At least this is better than cars. 87 00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:47,361 Cars can run you over. 88 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,732 Okay, no, this is worse. 89 00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:54,568 Boom. Adventure, suck it. 90 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:55,802 Alright, fine. 91 00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:59,073 Uh, how 'bout "Whistlering Dixie"? 92 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,379 Whistler! Whattaya got to tag and bag these bastards? 93 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:09,250 Made this lil' puppy after I bagged my first neck-rophiliac. 94 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:12,319 Double-action triggers pumping out 1,400 kilos 95 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,887 of holy water per square inch. 96 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,855 Um... This ol' girl's got dry-aged, 97 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,857 Sicilian garlic expelling out 98 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:20,060 at 3,200 feet per second, 99 00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:23,531 is swaddled by 5,200 Solar-joules 100 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,132 of raw ultraviolet... Yeaahhh... 101 00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:26,766 ...and she's only getting started. 102 00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:29,003 I'm talkin' crucifix-shaped Chinese stars, 103 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,038 mirror-tipped wooden stakes, and a -- 104 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,306 Wha-- 105 00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:34,841 Hello? G-Guys? 106 00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:37,211 Morty, that was just an old man a rambling at us. 107 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:38,479 People died! 108 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,780 So, by your logic, 9/11 was an adventure? 109 00:04:40,813 --> 00:04:42,283 Tweet it, see who agrees. 110 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:43,284 Very well! 111 00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:44,585 Bear witness to 9/11! 112 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,718 What? No! 113 00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:47,021 Dude, don't, just, 114 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,522 y-you need to let us throw to the stuff, okay? 115 00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:49,722 Okay, what's next? 116 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:52,725 What the hell is "Leg Day"? 117 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,295 Hey, look, Morty! 118 00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:56,263 I-I'm a leg! 119 00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:57,398 A leg, Morty! 120 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,033 I'm Leg Riiick! 121 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,534 Okay, I'll give you that last one. 122 00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,203 What? I-I mean -- 123 00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:04,271 I mean, I'll take it but -- Hey, Morty, check this out. 124 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:05,606 That's clearly unlicensed. 125 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,806 License this! 126 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,576 Wait, what are you doing? 127 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:09,910 Hey, Smith, you look hungry! 128 00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:12,479 How 'bout some knuckle pie? 129 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,746 Wuh the huh? 130 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,715 Aw, geez. Rick's implants. 131 00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:18,085 Big Doug... get the truck. 132 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:21,455 Whoo! I've never felt so alive! 133 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,889 Ayyy! 134 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,258 Oh! 135 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,263 Man. 136 00:06:03,097 --> 00:06:06,567 Turn! Back! Into! A boat! 137 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,469 I'm trying! 138 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,539 I'm trying... Oh, Big Doug. 139 00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:17,177 Big Doug, no. 140 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,279 There's my guy! 141 00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:20,114 C'mon, the hamsters turned on me, Morty. 142 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,515 We gotta go. 143 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,584 R.I.P., Big Doug! 144 00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:24,918 Wasn't even in that one! 145 00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:26,687 Who cares, i-it wasn't even on my list. 146 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,022 T-This guy just cued it up! 147 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,624 Speaking of cues, what about all those times 148 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,359 you two misunderstood each other? 149 00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:35,262 Wait, what? Are you setting up a series of them? 150 00:06:35,296 --> 00:06:38,666 Trust me, the key is grouping them with thematic connections. 151 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,668 Uhhhhhhh... 152 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,970 I-I just want to talk to Morty in private, 153 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,571 about something unrelated. 154 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:47,007 Yeah, we'll be right back. 155 00:06:47,041 --> 00:06:49,677 Okay, this guy might have been kind of a mistake. 156 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,378 He's really, like, aggressive. 157 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:52,613 He's steamrolling us. 158 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,148 He thinks he's hosting a fucking clip show. 159 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,050 And I don't like his voice. I don't like his voice, 160 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,484 I-I don't like that he's doing jokes, 161 00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,186 I don't like that he's talking down to you. 162 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,488 Thank you! Okay. Let's rethink this. 163 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,457 I still don't trust these, but I'll accept these cards 164 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:04,824 at 70 cents on the dollar. 165 00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:06,527 Done. Fair. 166 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,095 How do we get rid of him? 167 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,862 Eh, I'll just pay the asshole and tell him he did a great job. 168 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,432 He thinks he's hosting a fucking clip show. 169 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,334 And I don't like his voice. I don't like his voice, 170 00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:14,935 I-I don't like that he's doing jokes, 171 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,170 I don't like him talking down to you. 172 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,471 Okay, well, that's -- th-that's on us. 173 00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:18,605 Should have seen that coming. 174 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:19,940 Seeing is more my thing. 175 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,508 Well then you know he's about to pay you. 176 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,876 And "tell me I did a great job"? 177 00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:26,580 Fine, you caught us, we secretly think you suck. 178 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,115 Oh! Here's twice what I owe you. 179 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,683 That's how little conversation 180 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:30,918 we want to have about you leaving. 181 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,721 I have never seen two bigger assholes! 182 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,656 And I see all assholes! 183 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,558 Then you can see yours out. 184 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,761 Byyyyee. 185 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,229 Christ. 186 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,273 Shit, howt, so howt. 187 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:56,210 Gotta start in the middle, statistically the coolest. 188 00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,112 You won't find a carb on my plate, Morty. 189 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,680 I'm all about that keto. 190 00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,615 No. Is that -- Is that a fucking -- 191 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,384 Clip? I'm a fats man. 192 00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:04,651 Gimme all the fats! 193 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,954 That burrito looks pretty carby! 194 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,188 This fucking guy. 195 00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:09,990 That's your move? Diet shaming? 196 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,458 Just take the L, man! 197 00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:12,593 Th-This is embarrassing. 198 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,462 Oh, I'll show you embarrassing! 199 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:16,930 Haaaaaaaa! 200 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,967 Do it, Morty! I-It's the only way to save the universe! 201 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,369 H-How? H-How is it the only way? 202 00:08:22,403 --> 00:08:24,571 Morty... I'm dying... 203 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,273 it's up to you... 204 00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,543 Aahh! 205 00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:30,944 Riiick! 206 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,146 Aghhh! What the hell are you doing? 207 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:35,349 Saving the universe! I think? 208 00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,251 Right, Rick? 209 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,925 -This guy's nuts! -Screw you, Morty! 210 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,327 What the hell? You told me I was a hero! 211 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,463 You were that night. What the hell's going on? 212 00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:52,466 Is that angry stone playing... videoclips? 213 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,402 It's some weirdo Grandpa hired to prove I'm a bad person. 214 00:08:55,436 --> 00:08:58,839 Turns out people that take that job aren't fun to be around. 215 00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,908 Get out of here! 216 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,842 Sidewalk's public property, bro! 217 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,144 I can observe all I want from here! 218 00:09:04,178 --> 00:09:05,345 This isn't our problem, Dad. 219 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,681 Please make this loud thing go away. 220 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,616 Yeah, I was studying for a test. 221 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:10,751 No, you weren't! 222 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,453 Fucking rock asshole. 223 00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:13,654 Now you've done it! 224 00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:18,392 As they've shamed me, so shall I now shame you! 225 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,997 Mom? Are you drinking wine in there? 226 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:26,166 Um... no, I'm shitting. 227 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,002 Bitch, I know the sound of a toilet lid moving. 228 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,871 Woof. Two birds, one stone. 229 00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:32,372 More embarrassing for Mom than me. 230 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,909 I wasn't lying, I was going to shit. 231 00:09:34,943 --> 00:09:36,310 What's going on here? 232 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,645 Cosmic being playing embarrassing clips out of spite? 233 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:39,980 Damn, Jerry. Nailed it. 234 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,916 I was watching from the upstairs window. 235 00:09:41,950 --> 00:09:44,218 Well, watch this, loser! 236 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,920 Morty, I'm throwing out some stuff 237 00:09:45,954 --> 00:09:47,221 from our last couple adventures. 238 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,923 You got any use for this diamond? 239 00:09:48,957 --> 00:09:51,191 Nope. I'm good. 240 00:09:57,932 --> 00:09:59,500 This is gonna be fine. 241 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:07,074 I'm sorry! I can't stop once I start! 242 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,343 Whatever, everyone knows I'm embarrassing. 243 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:12,179 I'm bulletproof. Oh, my God, this is so sad. 244 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:15,950 Not as sad as you after this! 245 00:10:15,984 --> 00:10:17,851 The so-called "Hottie Snatchers" 246 00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:19,253 have spread to Canada and Mexico, 247 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,989 grabbing the most attractive residents 248 00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,723 and taking them God knows where. 249 00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:26,360 All Americans, even sub-sevens, are advised to stay indoors. 250 00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,362 You certainly wouldn't be safe out there. 251 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,664 Not on the air, Michael. 252 00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,666 BRB, bathroom. 253 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:35,235 I need to know! 254 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,606 It's okay! 255 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,109 It's not real, they're just doing it at random! 256 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,846 Is everything okay? I heard a -- 257 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:50,884 You too, huh? 258 00:10:50,919 --> 00:10:52,819 It's not so bad once you get used to it. 259 00:10:54,288 --> 00:10:56,390 I don't deserve this. I just walked downstairs. 260 00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:58,692 Okay, well, if Dad's just gonna stand here, 261 00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:00,093 should I do something? 262 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,261 Unless that somehow tees me up -- 263 00:11:01,295 --> 00:11:02,596 Walked right into it! 264 00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:05,666 This is our target, Dichotomus Daniel -- 265 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:10,170 That was my chair. 266 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,406 It was a fart. Birdperson always knows. 267 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,341 It's true! He's got that beak! 268 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,010 Get lost, you piece of shit! 269 00:11:16,044 --> 00:11:18,879 Why, so you can do stuff like thiiis? 270 00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,087 Ugh, Morty... 271 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,122 I'm afraid the only way out is through the bottom 272 00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:31,425 of this massive vat of whale semen. 273 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,995 Well, that last one was just for shock value. 274 00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:35,228 Fuck this guy! 275 00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,297 Haha, if you can't take the heat, 276 00:11:37,331 --> 00:11:38,933 get out of the watchin'! 277 00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:40,233 You -- You -- You -- You suck! 278 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,835 S-Showing weird shit just 'cause 279 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,038 we w-wouldn't let you treat our lives like a clip show! 280 00:11:44,072 --> 00:11:45,439 -Yeah, get him, Morty! -Mess him up, little bro! 281 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:48,842 What, you gonna beat me up like the piss guy? 282 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,444 Hey! Not cool! 283 00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,646 Why don't you tee up this clip of me kicking your ass! 284 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,048 Ow! Oww! 285 00:11:54,082 --> 00:11:58,251 Aghhh, I'm all rocks now! 286 00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:03,757 I never saw this coming... 287 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,125 Shit! 288 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:06,326 T-These guys can die?! 289 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,794 I-I thought they were cosmic! 290 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,596 You know what, I say we leave this thing in the street, 291 00:12:09,630 --> 00:12:11,865 deny any involvement, and just hope this blows over. 292 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,468 Unless, of course, they play this exact clip on a screen 293 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:17,071 in front of a jury with some kind of built-in bias. 294 00:12:17,105 --> 00:12:20,273 As an observer, I try to stay impartial, 295 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,944 but I am not seeing innocence. 296 00:12:22,977 --> 00:12:24,211 It's not blowing over, Rick. 297 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,579 I'd tell you to stay positive, Morty, 298 00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,715 but I do not like the looks of that jury. 299 00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:32,319 I can't believe we got ourselves into this mess 300 00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:33,921 over something as petty as what an adventure is. 301 00:12:33,955 --> 00:12:35,489 Yeah, I-I guess I can admit 302 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,658 I got a little loose with the stamps -- Gotcha! 303 00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:39,693 Can the stenographer read back that confession, please? 304 00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:43,330 Silence! The killing of an observer is unforgivable. 305 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:47,501 We must now decide whether to end your existence. 306 00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:50,170 Your Honor, if everyone here has truly seen everything, 307 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,405 then you all know my grandson 308 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,306 and I did this whole thing with giants. 309 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,109 Did what whole thing? 310 00:12:55,143 --> 00:12:56,610 I will address that! 311 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,113 I'm your court-appointed defender. 312 00:12:59,147 --> 00:13:01,415 Your Honor, observe the time Rick and Morty 313 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,450 did this with giants! 314 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:04,785 This is an open and shut case, Morty. 315 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,687 Y'know w-w-what do ya think is gonna happen, 316 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,755 some magical angel's gonna show up and -- 317 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,124 Fee-fi-fo-fum, 318 00:13:10,158 --> 00:13:11,725 I smell the violation of civil liberties! 319 00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:14,561 The moments are practically identical, Your Honor. 320 00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:17,497 I move for a mistrial on the grounds it bumps. 321 00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:19,399 If the argument is that Rick and Morty 322 00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:22,736 repeat their mistakes, the prosecution agrees! 323 00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:25,872 Oh, God, y-you sound just like the guy we killed -- 324 00:13:25,907 --> 00:13:26,873 uh, a-allegedly. 325 00:13:26,908 --> 00:13:28,508 That was my brother! 326 00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:30,178 I didn't like his voice either! 327 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,946 Well, this isn't gonna help our case. 328 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,414 Neither will this next clip! 329 00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:36,249 Morty, I made you a gorilla gun. 330 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,152 Pretty cool, huh? A gorilla gun? 331 00:13:38,186 --> 00:13:39,820 D-Does this do what I think it does? 332 00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,022 Yup! 333 00:13:41,055 --> 00:13:42,222 Where's your lunch money, punk? 334 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,590 Lunch money? 335 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,927 Are you sure you wouldn't rather have...a banana? 336 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,664 I thought it would turn him into a gorilla. 337 00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:53,233 Why would you want a bully to be a gorilla? 338 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,668 It was a gun that kills gorillas. 339 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,105 Please go easy on him, th-this one's on me, 340 00:13:57,138 --> 00:13:58,206 and it won't happen again. 341 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,907 Morty, this is a bully gun. 342 00:13:59,941 --> 00:14:01,109 Whoa! Cool! 343 00:14:01,142 --> 00:14:02,342 Any questions about it? Not really. 344 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,011 Yeah, should be self-explanatory. 345 00:14:04,045 --> 00:14:05,146 Have fun. 346 00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:06,279 Hey. Give me your backpack. 347 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,248 You trying to bully me? Yeah. 348 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,917 Well, how are you going to bully... 349 00:14:09,951 --> 00:14:12,053 another bully? 350 00:14:12,086 --> 00:14:13,955 What are you doing? 351 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,994 I feel like this one's not entirely my fault. 352 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,229 Okay, how do you feel? 353 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,529 I-I'm okay. 354 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,598 I mean, maybe just stop giving me guns, or -- 355 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:27,068 Or make them less ambiguous, way ahead of you. 356 00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:28,502 Here. Take this. 357 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,804 This is a gun, and I want to be really specific here, 358 00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:34,341 this is a gun that you only use to shoot bad people. 359 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,110 Are we clear? Okay, Rick. 360 00:14:36,144 --> 00:14:37,410 When are you going to use that? 361 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,746 When I want to shoot a bad person. 362 00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:40,747 Okay. 363 00:14:40,781 --> 00:14:42,315 I had a great time tonight, Jessica. 364 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,517 Hey. Give me your money. 365 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:47,654 Why don't you take this instead? 366 00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:48,488 Jeffrey Dahmer? 367 00:14:48,522 --> 00:14:50,057 Hi. Uh, what's happening? 368 00:14:50,091 --> 00:14:51,825 I don't know, just run. 369 00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:55,896 Let the record show this bit continued for several more guns. 370 00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:58,632 What are we even guilty of in that one, being kind of dumb? 371 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,301 For being dumb over and over! 372 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:04,838 A-ha! But, Your Honor, is that not the definition 373 00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,207 of experimentation? 374 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,774 The foundation of science? 375 00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:11,378 And are Rick and Morty therefore not only not not learning, 376 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,313 but therefore actively learning? 377 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,382 Observe this example! 378 00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:19,253 How long before Ben Franklin comes back to life? 379 00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:21,321 Holy shit! Yes! 380 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,856 Shit, he came back evil. 381 00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:25,325 What do you think will happen if we bury him again? 382 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,760 You don't know? 383 00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,996 This is my first time using Pet Sematary soil, Morty. 384 00:15:29,030 --> 00:15:30,264 I mean... 385 00:15:30,298 --> 00:15:31,598 as long as we're asking questions... 386 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,433 we've been here so long my phone died. 387 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:34,668 It's not gonna charge your phone! 388 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,270 So you can be curious and I can't? 389 00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:37,671 Fuck, you're right. 390 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,506 W-We're sitting on top of brand-new science here. 391 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,075 L-Let's gather some data! 392 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,611 Put your back into it, Morty! 393 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,314 Y-You think it'll refill the tank? 394 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,949 Good pitch, Morty! 395 00:15:47,982 --> 00:15:50,350 Okay, let's bury that kangaroo from the waist down. 396 00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,452 Holy shit! Will only his legs come back? 397 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,854 Who knows?! 398 00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:55,422 Hey, I'm having a great time with you tonight, Morty! 399 00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:58,391 W-What's that one? Ben Franklin! 400 00:15:58,425 --> 00:15:59,927 R-Remember we tried wrapping him in tin foil 401 00:15:59,961 --> 00:16:01,963 to see if it'd shield him from the evil? 402 00:16:01,996 --> 00:16:03,363 Oh, yeah. 403 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,464 Ow! 404 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,033 Fuck! I-It's hot! 405 00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:07,235 Jesus Christ... 406 00:16:07,268 --> 00:16:10,972 It cooked him like a pig at a luau. 407 00:16:11,005 --> 00:16:12,106 It's so moist. 408 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,341 Rick! That's a guy! 409 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,309 Man, what is this place doing to us? 410 00:16:15,343 --> 00:16:18,079 Is nothing sacred to you two? 411 00:16:18,112 --> 00:16:19,446 What are these clips? 412 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,714 Wh-What are we even on trial for anymore? 413 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,984 What's anyone on trial for, son? 414 00:16:23,017 --> 00:16:24,285 Being good or evil. 415 00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,320 L-Look, sure, we can be irreverent 416 00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:27,721 but w-we're far from evil. 417 00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,556 We make more friends than enemies! 418 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,825 Let's run the tape on that one! 419 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:34,195 Hey, Rick, can you make my churro come to life? 420 00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:35,662 On it! 421 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:38,065 Hiiiiiiii! I'm Churry! 422 00:16:38,099 --> 00:16:39,333 Churry, do you want to have fun? 423 00:16:39,367 --> 00:16:40,400 Let's go! 424 00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:11,032 This has been the best time of my life, Churry. 425 00:17:11,065 --> 00:17:12,766 Okay, thanks, Rick! 426 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,368 Y-You can turn him back into a regular churro now. 427 00:17:14,402 --> 00:17:16,037 What? I-I can't turn him back. 428 00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:19,040 You asked me to bring him to life. Bam, done. 429 00:17:19,073 --> 00:17:20,607 But he's a churro, he doesn't have internal organs, 430 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,243 a brain, et cetera. 431 00:17:22,276 --> 00:17:26,247 in order to live, I had to make him functionally immortal. 432 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,149 What. 433 00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:35,855 My... My family! 434 00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:36,890 Goodbye, Churry. 435 00:17:36,924 --> 00:17:38,892 I'll miss you. 436 00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:44,531 These are just regular churros? 437 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,500 Oh, my God, no! 438 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,736 Mark my words, Morty! 439 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:52,139 I shall leave you as you left me! 440 00:17:52,173 --> 00:17:53,506 On a barren planet! 441 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:56,010 Praying for death! 442 00:17:56,043 --> 00:17:57,945 I'm starting to see why this lawyer was free. 443 00:17:57,979 --> 00:18:00,948 Okay, well, we never intentionally hurt people. 444 00:18:00,982 --> 00:18:02,882 Yeah, we adventure! Stuff goes wrong. 445 00:18:02,917 --> 00:18:04,385 We don't just murder for fun. 446 00:18:04,418 --> 00:18:06,519 Oh! Here's a clip about that topic! 447 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,189 I did it, Morty! 448 00:18:08,222 --> 00:18:10,458 I killed the versions of us that were in "Space Jam"! 449 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:11,825 Help me with the bodies! Wow! 450 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,560 How you'd do it, Rick? It was easy, Morty. 451 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,594 Th-They welcomed death! 452 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,030 They wanted out, Morty! 453 00:18:16,063 --> 00:18:18,132 No, no, no, you don't get it, they begged me. 454 00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,300 It was a kindness! 455 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:20,368 Was that helpful? 456 00:18:20,401 --> 00:18:22,602 It was for the prosecution! 457 00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,238 Okay, I've heard enough! 458 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,772 No, you fucking haven't. 459 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,442 If we're about to die, at least let us defend ourselves. 460 00:18:28,476 --> 00:18:29,542 -Ahh, the outrage! -Ehh, seems iffy. 461 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:30,978 I'll allow it. 462 00:18:31,012 --> 00:18:32,446 But no lollygagging! 463 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,581 I only need one clip, Your Honor. 464 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:38,085 If it pleases the court, hold on to your tits. 465 00:18:42,223 --> 00:18:44,058 I'm a leg, Morty! 466 00:18:44,091 --> 00:18:45,993 You like that? 467 00:18:46,027 --> 00:18:47,428 Yeahhh, I know you do. 468 00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:49,497 Oh! We already saw that one. 469 00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:51,065 No, that's the other time I did it. 470 00:18:51,098 --> 00:18:52,433 That was your Hail Mary? 471 00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:54,068 I held onto my tits for nothing! 472 00:18:54,101 --> 00:18:55,069 -Boo! -Boooo! 473 00:18:55,102 --> 00:18:56,070 -That was mid! -Boo! 474 00:18:56,103 --> 00:18:57,238 I hereby find 475 00:18:57,271 --> 00:18:59,273 Rick and Morty guilty! 476 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,208 Time to die! 477 00:19:09,283 --> 00:19:10,484 What in tarnation? 478 00:19:10,518 --> 00:19:12,319 Plot twist! Whattaya expect? 479 00:19:12,353 --> 00:19:14,922 You gave me access to your tech. 480 00:19:14,955 --> 00:19:16,756 Look, I-I'm not saying we're heroes, 481 00:19:16,790 --> 00:19:18,591 but in the two minutes I've had access to your server, 482 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,361 I can "observe" you're no better. 483 00:19:20,394 --> 00:19:23,630 Here, let's see a clip. 484 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,598 Help! Please! 485 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,234 Oh, my God! Please! 486 00:19:27,268 --> 00:19:29,336 Augh! Please! 487 00:19:32,306 --> 00:19:33,474 Absurd! 488 00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:35,142 If the Observer was in the clip, 489 00:19:35,176 --> 00:19:36,477 who was watching? 490 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:37,945 Glad you asked! 491 00:19:37,978 --> 00:19:39,914 Please! 492 00:19:39,947 --> 00:19:41,881 Augh! 493 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,085 Jesus Christ. 494 00:19:44,118 --> 00:19:46,853 You can't shame us for watching! It's who we are! 495 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,490 Right, and you'd never take advantage of that. 496 00:19:49,523 --> 00:19:51,525 Hot copies! Freshly watched! 497 00:19:51,559 --> 00:19:53,194 I've got "Avatar" 3 through 6! 498 00:19:53,227 --> 00:19:56,130 Friends and Family screening, the VFX aren't done, 499 00:19:56,163 --> 00:19:57,630 but they're still blue! 500 00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,799 It's not my fault I saw those movies! 501 00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:02,403 Yes! We observe, it's all we do! 502 00:20:02,436 --> 00:20:04,071 Ohhoho! It's not all you do. 503 00:20:04,105 --> 00:20:08,641 I'll give you guys $20 to fight each other. 504 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,544 Money, money! 505 00:20:10,578 --> 00:20:12,779 As it turns out, you do plenty! 506 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,248 You're just as bad as us! 507 00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,583 We're not all bad. 508 00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,617 I observe a couple of bad apples! 509 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,220 Who are you calling an apple? 510 00:20:19,253 --> 00:20:22,590 Should we all observe what you did with Tom's wife? 511 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:25,725 Observe me harder! Harder! 512 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,428 I regret nothing, Tom! 513 00:20:27,461 --> 00:20:28,963 The only thing you could never see 514 00:20:28,996 --> 00:20:30,864 was what a treasure Nancy was. 515 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:34,634 I'll kill you! I'd like to observe you try! 516 00:20:37,004 --> 00:20:38,172 Geez, Rick. 517 00:20:38,205 --> 00:20:39,607 People be fucking each other's wives, huh? 518 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,976 Marriage is a scam, Morty. 519 00:20:42,009 --> 00:20:42,910 Let's scram. 520 00:20:42,943 --> 00:20:45,946 Wait! I still have more clips! 521 00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:48,149 Morty, I appreciate what you were trying to do, 522 00:20:48,182 --> 00:20:50,985 with the punch cards, my whole groove thing. 523 00:20:51,018 --> 00:20:52,153 Thanks. 524 00:20:52,186 --> 00:20:53,820 So... is this a stamp? 525 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,722 Or you gonna make me count this as my adventure? 526 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,657 How about we just ignore this one. 527 00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:00,494 Yeah. Yeah, good call. 528 00:21:00,528 --> 00:21:01,495 80 cents on the dollar? 529 00:21:01,529 --> 00:21:03,597 75. Done. 530 00:21:03,631 --> 00:21:04,831 Whattaya say, Rick? 531 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,567 Fly through space, come upon something, 532 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,002 maybe I have a moral objection, 533 00:21:08,035 --> 00:21:10,504 stuff gets messy, and you ultimately bail us out? 534 00:21:10,538 --> 00:21:12,006 L-Let's take it for a spin. 535 00:21:12,039 --> 00:21:14,475 Rick and Morty! We're back, baby! 536 00:21:14,508 --> 00:21:15,808 Check the glovebox! 537 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,478 Whoa, another gun! 538 00:21:49,143 --> 00:21:52,313 Hey, Morty, see you at the frolf mixer tomorrow? 539 00:21:52,346 --> 00:21:54,481 Y-Yeah, sure thing, Jimmy. 540 00:21:56,517 --> 00:21:58,652 I knew this day would come... 541 00:21:58,686 --> 00:22:00,621 Oh, oh, God! 542 00:22:00,654 --> 00:22:03,023 Aaah! 543 00:22:03,057 --> 00:22:04,425 Niiice. 544 00:22:04,458 --> 00:22:06,160 Free churro. 545 00:22:06,193 --> 00:22:08,128 Whew. 546 00:22:08,162 --> 00:22:10,464 Aaah! 547 00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:13,733 Did you get any of that?