1
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,743
H-Hey, Rick...
2
00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:13,180
uh, need me
for any adventures?
3
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:14,315
Huh?
4
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,515
Adventures?
Remember those?
5
00:00:15,548 --> 00:00:17,484
Oh, y-yeah, not right now,
Morty, uh,
6
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,419
but d-definitely
next week though.
7
00:00:19,452 --> 00:00:21,355
You been saying that
a while now, buddy,
8
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:23,925
so, I think I'm gonna
give you a little nudge
9
00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:26,526
by cashing in a few
of these bad boys.
10
00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:29,096
Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're still
doing the punch card system?
11
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,298
Never stopped.
12
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:32,300
Bam! Read 'em
and weep.
13
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,335
Fully punched cards,
each entitling me
14
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,070
to an adventure
of my choosing.
15
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,805
I don't make the rules.
Yeah, I do,
you little gremlin,
16
00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:40,573
and I definitely
did not stamp all these.
17
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:42,475
You never remember
to stamp the cards.
You're always drunk.
18
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,045
I didn't know we were still
doing this!
19
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,746
T-This stinks to high heaven,
Morty. I'm not accepting these.
20
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,282
I knew you were going
to do this.
21
00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:50,117
So I got receipts,
bitch.
22
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,419
I k-- I kept notes.
23
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:52,519
This is gibberish.
24
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,188
"Isle of the Mortysaurs"?
25
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,455
"Takes One to Know One"?
26
00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:56,991
I make up titles
for each adventure.
27
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,526
You did the same thing for that
MS readathon at your school,
28
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,162
Morty,
and you didn't read shit.
29
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,862
It's okay to lie when you're
fighting Multiple Sclerosis!
30
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,266
Or when you think
you won't get caught!
31
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,533
How are you going to
"catch me"?
32
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,535
Oh, you done and did it now,
little man.
33
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,837
That's your ass.
Don't grift a grifter, Morty.
34
00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:13,174
I got friends
in cosmic places.
35
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,241
Yeah, uh-huh.
36
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,675
I need an audit.
37
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,711
Oh, right, you were
already watching.
38
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,047
I'll come get you.
Wha-Wh-What is this?
39
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,918
I am The Observer!
You're so busted.
40
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,518
Look at your face,
you're so fucked.
41
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:28,055
I observe all!
42
00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:29,489
They observe all,
Morty.
43
00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:31,758
Cosmic all-seeing species.
So?
44
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:33,928
So, they're basically
universal police body-cams
45
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,997
but you can't turn them off
before you beat a minority.
46
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,665
Or in your case, before you
cook the adventure books!
47
00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:40,600
I don't do that!
We gonna find out!
48
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:44,038
Oh, I'm here for this!
49
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:18,705
I bet a solid 70%
of these are bullshit.
50
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:20,441
Oh, quit your bitchin'
and do the audit.
51
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,875
I-I got nothing to hide!
52
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,643
Alright, Observer,
gimme "Truth or Dare."
53
00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:25,012
Christ,
these names, Morty.
54
00:02:25,046 --> 00:02:27,580
It's shorthand!
I have observed it!
55
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:31,818
Now gaze upon me
and so shall you...
56
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:37,024
Two attack patterns and
a giant glowing weak spot --
57
00:02:37,058 --> 00:02:39,393
"Legend of Zelda"
tutorial-ass bullshit.
58
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:40,593
I thought it was
kind of fun.
59
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,997
Halt,
unidentified adventurers.
60
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,799
We are the guardians
of this sanctuary.
61
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:50,004
One of us tells only truths,
the other, only lies.
62
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,704
You ever fucked
this guy's wife?
63
00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:52,839
Yes.
64
00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:55,276
Well, how about that,
he guessed right.
65
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,278
I forgive you!
66
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:58,379
Oh, shit!
67
00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,447
Alright, next room.
68
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,382
No, I wanna watch.
69
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,683
Did you see
how one of them lied?
70
00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:05,252
Fine,
I'll call that one legit.
71
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,720
I'm not here to nitpick,
I'm here to find blatant fraud.
72
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:11,525
Okay, uh, show me
"Late Night Western."
73
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:14,261
Morty, Morty, Morty,
take me -- drive me --
74
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,296
take me --
75
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:17,231
w-wan go western bacon.
76
00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:18,865
M-Morty,
western bacon now.
77
00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:20,167
Ugh.
78
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,672
Ohoho, yeah.
79
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,408
Before you say anything --
I knew it! Busted!
80
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:28,909
You're banned from
that Carl's Jr.!
81
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:30,844
That doesn't make the drive-thru
an adventure, Morty.
82
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:31,878
Invalid.
83
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,949
Sounds like
it's anyone's game!
84
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:37,851
Well, n-no, it --
it's not a bet, it's an audit.
85
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:41,888
Observer, show us "Maximum
Overdrive with Clothes"!
86
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,160
At least this is better
than cars.
87
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:47,361
Cars can run you over.
88
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,732
Okay, no,
this is worse.
89
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:54,568
Boom.
Adventure, suck it.
90
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:55,802
Alright, fine.
91
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:59,073
Uh, how 'bout
"Whistlering Dixie"?
92
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,379
Whistler! Whattaya got to
tag and bag these bastards?
93
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:09,250
Made this lil' puppy after I
bagged my first neck-rophiliac.
94
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:12,319
Double-action triggers
pumping out 1,400 kilos
95
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,887
of holy water
per square inch.
96
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,855
Um...
This ol' girl's
got dry-aged,
97
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,857
Sicilian garlic
expelling out
98
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:20,060
at 3,200 feet per second,
99
00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:23,531
is swaddled by
5,200 Solar-joules
100
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,132
of raw ultraviolet...
Yeaahhh...
101
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:26,766
...and she's only
getting started.
102
00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:29,003
I'm talkin' crucifix-shaped
Chinese stars,
103
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,038
mirror-tipped wooden
stakes, and a --
104
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,306
Wha--
105
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:34,841
Hello? G-Guys?
106
00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:37,211
Morty, that was just an old man
a rambling at us.
107
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:38,479
People died!
108
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,780
So, by your logic,
9/11 was an adventure?
109
00:04:40,813 --> 00:04:42,283
Tweet it,
see who agrees.
110
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:43,284
Very well!
111
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:44,585
Bear witness to 9/11!
112
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,718
What?
No!
113
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:47,021
Dude, don't, just,
114
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,522
y-you need to
let us throw to the stuff, okay?
115
00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:49,722
Okay, what's next?
116
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:52,725
What the hell
is "Leg Day"?
117
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,295
Hey, look, Morty!
118
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:56,263
I-I'm a leg!
119
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:57,398
A leg, Morty!
120
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,033
I'm Leg Riiick!
121
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,534
Okay, I'll give you
that last one.
122
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,203
What?
I-I mean --
123
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:04,271
I mean, I'll take it but --
Hey, Morty,
check this out.
124
00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:05,606
That's clearly unlicensed.
125
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,806
License this!
126
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,576
Wait,
what are you doing?
127
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:09,910
Hey, Smith,
you look hungry!
128
00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:12,479
How 'bout some
knuckle pie?
129
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,746
Wuh the huh?
130
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,715
Aw, geez.
Rick's implants.
131
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:18,085
Big Doug...
get the truck.
132
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:21,455
Whoo!
I've never felt so alive!
133
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,889
Ayyy!
134
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,258
Oh!
135
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,263
Man.
136
00:06:03,097 --> 00:06:06,567
Turn! Back!
Into! A boat!
137
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,469
I'm trying!
138
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,539
I'm trying...
Oh, Big Doug.
139
00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:17,177
Big Doug, no.
140
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,279
There's my guy!
141
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:20,114
C'mon, the hamsters
turned on me, Morty.
142
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,515
We gotta go.
143
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,584
R.I.P., Big Doug!
144
00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:24,918
Wasn't even in that one!
145
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:26,687
Who cares, i-it wasn't even
on my list.
146
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,022
T-This guy
just cued it up!
147
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,624
Speaking of cues, what about
all those times
148
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,359
you two misunderstood
each other?
149
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:35,262
Wait, what? Are you setting up
a series of them?
150
00:06:35,296 --> 00:06:38,666
Trust me, the key is grouping
them with thematic connections.
151
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,668
Uhhhhhhh...
152
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,970
I-I just want to talk to Morty
in private,
153
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,571
about something unrelated.
154
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:47,007
Yeah,
we'll be right back.
155
00:06:47,041 --> 00:06:49,677
Okay, this guy might have been
kind of a mistake.
156
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,378
He's really,
like, aggressive.
157
00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:52,613
He's steamrolling us.
158
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,148
He thinks he's hosting
a fucking clip show.
159
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,050
And I don't like his voice.
I don't like his voice,
160
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,484
I-I don't like that
he's doing jokes,
161
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,186
I don't like that
he's talking down to you.
162
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,488
Thank you! Okay.
Let's rethink this.
163
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,457
I still don't trust these,
but I'll accept these cards
164
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:04,824
at 70 cents on the dollar.
165
00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:06,527
Done. Fair.
166
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,095
How do we
get rid of him?
167
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,862
Eh, I'll just pay the asshole
and tell him he did a great job.
168
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,432
He thinks he's hosting
a fucking clip show.
169
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,334
And I don't like his voice.
I don't like his voice,
170
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:14,935
I-I don't like that
he's doing jokes,
171
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,170
I don't like him
talking down to you.
172
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,471
Okay, well, that's --
th-that's on us.
173
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:18,605
Should have
seen that coming.
174
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:19,940
Seeing is more my thing.
175
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,508
Well then you know
he's about to pay you.
176
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,876
And "tell me
I did a great job"?
177
00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:26,580
Fine, you caught us,
we secretly think you suck.
178
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,115
Oh!
Here's twice
what I owe you.
179
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,683
That's how little
conversation
180
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:30,918
we want to have
about you leaving.
181
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,721
I have never seen
two bigger assholes!
182
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,656
And I see all assholes!
183
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,558
Then you can
see yours out.
184
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,761
Byyyyee.
185
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,229
Christ.
186
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,273
Shit,
howt, so howt.
187
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:56,210
Gotta start in the middle,
statistically the coolest.
188
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,112
You won't find a carb
on my plate, Morty.
189
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,680
I'm all about that keto.
190
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,615
No.
Is that -- Is that a fucking --
191
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,384
Clip?
I'm a fats man.
192
00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:04,651
Gimme all the fats!
193
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,954
That burrito
looks pretty carby!
194
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,188
This fucking guy.
195
00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:09,990
That's your move?
Diet shaming?
196
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,458
Just take the L, man!
197
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:12,593
Th-This is embarrassing.
198
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,462
Oh, I'll show you
embarrassing!
199
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:16,930
Haaaaaaaa!
200
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,967
Do it, Morty! I-It's the only
way to save the universe!
201
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,369
H-How?
H-How is it the only way?
202
00:08:22,403 --> 00:08:24,571
Morty...
I'm dying...
203
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,273
it's up to you...
204
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,543
Aahh!
205
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:30,944
Riiick!
206
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,146
Aghhh!
What the hell
are you doing?
207
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:35,349
Saving the universe!
I think?
208
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,251
Right, Rick?
209
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,925
-This guy's nuts!
-Screw you, Morty!
210
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,327
What the hell?
You told me I was a hero!
211
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,463
You were that night.
What the hell's going on?
212
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:52,466
Is that angry stone playing...
videoclips?
213
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,402
It's some weirdo Grandpa hired
to prove I'm a bad person.
214
00:08:55,436 --> 00:08:58,839
Turns out people that take that
job aren't fun to be around.
215
00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,908
Get out of here!
216
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,842
Sidewalk's public property,
bro!
217
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,144
I can observe
all I want from here!
218
00:09:04,178 --> 00:09:05,345
This isn't our problem,
Dad.
219
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,681
Please make this loud thing
go away.
220
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,616
Yeah,
I was studying for a test.
221
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:10,751
No, you weren't!
222
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,453
Fucking rock asshole.
223
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:13,654
Now you've done it!
224
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:18,392
As they've shamed me,
so shall I now shame you!
225
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,997
Mom?
Are you drinking wine in there?
226
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:26,166
Um...
no, I'm shitting.
227
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,002
Bitch, I know the sound
of a toilet lid moving.
228
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,871
Woof.
Two birds, one stone.
229
00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:32,372
More embarrassing
for Mom than me.
230
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,909
I wasn't lying,
I was going to shit.
231
00:09:34,943 --> 00:09:36,310
What's going on here?
232
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,645
Cosmic being playing
embarrassing clips out of spite?
233
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:39,980
Damn, Jerry.
Nailed it.
234
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,916
I was watching from
the upstairs window.
235
00:09:41,950 --> 00:09:44,218
Well, watch this, loser!
236
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,920
Morty, I'm throwing out
some stuff
237
00:09:45,954 --> 00:09:47,221
from our last couple
adventures.
238
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,923
You got any use
for this diamond?
239
00:09:48,957 --> 00:09:51,191
Nope.
I'm good.
240
00:09:57,932 --> 00:09:59,500
This is gonna be fine.
241
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:07,074
I'm sorry!
I can't stop once I start!
242
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,343
Whatever, everyone knows
I'm embarrassing.
243
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:12,179
I'm bulletproof.
Oh, my God, this is so sad.
244
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:15,950
Not as sad as you
after this!
245
00:10:15,984 --> 00:10:17,851
The so-called
"Hottie Snatchers"
246
00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:19,253
have spread to Canada
and Mexico,
247
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,989
grabbing the most
attractive residents
248
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,723
and taking them
God knows where.
249
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:26,360
All Americans, even sub-sevens,
are advised to stay indoors.
250
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,362
You certainly wouldn't be safe
out there.
251
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,664
Not on the air,
Michael.
252
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,666
BRB, bathroom.
253
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:35,235
I need to know!
254
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,606
It's okay!
255
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,109
It's not real, they're just
doing it at random!
256
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,846
Is everything okay?
I heard a --
257
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:50,884
You too, huh?
258
00:10:50,919 --> 00:10:52,819
It's not so bad
once you get used to it.
259
00:10:54,288 --> 00:10:56,390
I don't deserve this.
I just walked downstairs.
260
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:58,692
Okay, well, if Dad's just gonna
stand here,
261
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:00,093
should I
do something?
262
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,261
Unless that somehow
tees me up --
263
00:11:01,295 --> 00:11:02,596
Walked right into it!
264
00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:05,666
This is our target,
Dichotomus Daniel --
265
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:10,170
That was my chair.
266
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,406
It was a fart.
Birdperson always knows.
267
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,341
It's true!
He's got that beak!
268
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,010
Get lost,
you piece of shit!
269
00:11:16,044 --> 00:11:18,879
Why, so you can do stuff
like thiiis?
270
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,087
Ugh, Morty...
271
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,122
I'm afraid the only way out
is through the bottom
272
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:31,425
of this massive vat
of whale semen.
273
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,995
Well, that last one
was just for shock value.
274
00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:35,228
Fuck this guy!
275
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,297
Haha, if you can't
take the heat,
276
00:11:37,331 --> 00:11:38,933
get out of the watchin'!
277
00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:40,233
You -- You -- You --
You suck!
278
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,835
S-Showing weird shit
just 'cause
279
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,038
we w-wouldn't let you treat
our lives like a clip show!
280
00:11:44,072 --> 00:11:45,439
-Yeah, get him, Morty!
-Mess him up, little bro!
281
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:48,842
What, you gonna beat me up
like the piss guy?
282
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,444
Hey!
Not cool!
283
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,646
Why don't you tee up this clip
of me kicking your ass!
284
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,048
Ow!
Oww!
285
00:11:54,082 --> 00:11:58,251
Aghhh,
I'm all rocks now!
286
00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:03,757
I never saw this coming...
287
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,125
Shit!
288
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:06,326
T-These guys can die?!
289
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,794
I-I thought
they were cosmic!
290
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,596
You know what, I say we leave
this thing in the street,
291
00:12:09,630 --> 00:12:11,865
deny any involvement,
and just hope this blows over.
292
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,468
Unless, of course, they play
this exact clip on a screen
293
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:17,071
in front of a jury with
some kind of built-in bias.
294
00:12:17,105 --> 00:12:20,273
As an observer,
I try to stay impartial,
295
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,944
but I am not
seeing innocence.
296
00:12:22,977 --> 00:12:24,211
It's not blowing over,
Rick.
297
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,579
I'd tell you to stay positive,
Morty,
298
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,715
but I do not like
the looks of that jury.
299
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:32,319
I can't believe we got ourselves
into this mess
300
00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:33,921
over something as petty
as what an adventure is.
301
00:12:33,955 --> 00:12:35,489
Yeah,
I-I guess I can admit
302
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,658
I got a little loose
with the stamps --
Gotcha!
303
00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:39,693
Can the stenographer read back
that confession, please?
304
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:43,330
Silence! The killing of
an observer is unforgivable.
305
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:47,501
We must now decide
whether to end your existence.
306
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:50,170
Your Honor, if everyone here
has truly seen everything,
307
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,405
then you all know
my grandson
308
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,306
and I did this whole thing
with giants.
309
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,109
Did what whole thing?
310
00:12:55,143 --> 00:12:56,610
I will address that!
311
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,113
I'm your
court-appointed defender.
312
00:12:59,147 --> 00:13:01,415
Your Honor, observe the time
Rick and Morty
313
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,450
did this with giants!
314
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:04,785
This is an open and shut case,
Morty.
315
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,687
Y'know w-w-what do ya think
is gonna happen,
316
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,755
some magical angel's
gonna show up and --
317
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,124
Fee-fi-fo-fum,
318
00:13:10,158 --> 00:13:11,725
I smell the violation
of civil liberties!
319
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:14,561
The moments are practically
identical, Your Honor.
320
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:17,497
I move for a mistrial
on the grounds it bumps.
321
00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:19,399
If the argument is that
Rick and Morty
322
00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:22,736
repeat their mistakes,
the prosecution agrees!
323
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:25,872
Oh, God, y-you sound just like
the guy we killed --
324
00:13:25,907 --> 00:13:26,873
uh, a-allegedly.
325
00:13:26,908 --> 00:13:28,508
That was my brother!
326
00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:30,178
I didn't like his voice
either!
327
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,946
Well, this isn't gonna
help our case.
328
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,414
Neither will
this next clip!
329
00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:36,249
Morty,
I made you a gorilla gun.
330
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,152
Pretty cool, huh?
A gorilla gun?
331
00:13:38,186 --> 00:13:39,820
D-Does this do
what I think it does?
332
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,022
Yup!
333
00:13:41,055 --> 00:13:42,222
Where's your lunch money,
punk?
334
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,590
Lunch money?
335
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,927
Are you sure you wouldn't
rather have...a banana?
336
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,664
I thought it would
turn him into a gorilla.
337
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:53,233
Why would you want a bully
to be a gorilla?
338
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,668
It was a gun
that kills gorillas.
339
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,105
Please go easy on him,
th-this one's on me,
340
00:13:57,138 --> 00:13:58,206
and it won't
happen again.
341
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,907
Morty,
this is a bully gun.
342
00:13:59,941 --> 00:14:01,109
Whoa! Cool!
343
00:14:01,142 --> 00:14:02,342
Any questions about it?
Not really.
344
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,011
Yeah, should be
self-explanatory.
345
00:14:04,045 --> 00:14:05,146
Have fun.
346
00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:06,279
Hey.
Give me your backpack.
347
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,248
You trying to bully me?
Yeah.
348
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,917
Well, how are you
going to bully...
349
00:14:09,951 --> 00:14:12,053
another bully?
350
00:14:12,086 --> 00:14:13,955
What are you doing?
351
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,994
I feel like this one's
not entirely my fault.
352
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,229
Okay,
how do you feel?
353
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,529
I-I'm okay.
354
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,598
I mean, maybe just stop
giving me guns, or --
355
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:27,068
Or make them less ambiguous,
way ahead of you.
356
00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:28,502
Here.
Take this.
357
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,804
This is a gun, and I want
to be really specific here,
358
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:34,341
this is a gun that you only use
to shoot bad people.
359
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,110
Are we clear?
Okay, Rick.
360
00:14:36,144 --> 00:14:37,410
When are you
going to use that?
361
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,746
When I want to shoot
a bad person.
362
00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:40,747
Okay.
363
00:14:40,781 --> 00:14:42,315
I had a great time tonight,
Jessica.
364
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,517
Hey.
Give me your money.
365
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:47,654
Why don't you
take this instead?
366
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:48,488
Jeffrey Dahmer?
367
00:14:48,522 --> 00:14:50,057
Hi.
Uh, what's happening?
368
00:14:50,091 --> 00:14:51,825
I don't know,
just run.
369
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:55,896
Let the record show this bit
continued for several more guns.
370
00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:58,632
What are we even guilty of in
that one, being kind of dumb?
371
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,301
For being dumb
over and over!
372
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:04,838
A-ha! But, Your Honor,
is that not the definition
373
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,207
of experimentation?
374
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,774
The foundation
of science?
375
00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:11,378
And are Rick and Morty therefore
not only not not learning,
376
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,313
but therefore
actively learning?
377
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,382
Observe this example!
378
00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:19,253
How long before Ben Franklin
comes back to life?
379
00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:21,321
Holy shit!
Yes!
380
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,856
Shit, he came back evil.
381
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:25,325
What do you think will happen
if we bury him again?
382
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,760
You don't know?
383
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,996
This is my first time
using Pet Sematary soil, Morty.
384
00:15:29,030 --> 00:15:30,264
I mean...
385
00:15:30,298 --> 00:15:31,598
as long as we're
asking questions...
386
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,433
we've been here so long
my phone died.
387
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:34,668
It's not gonna
charge your phone!
388
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,270
So you can be curious
and I can't?
389
00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:37,671
Fuck, you're right.
390
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,506
W-We're sitting on top of
brand-new science here.
391
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,075
L-Let's gather some data!
392
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,611
Put your back into it,
Morty!
393
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,314
Y-You think it'll refill
the tank?
394
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,949
Good pitch, Morty!
395
00:15:47,982 --> 00:15:50,350
Okay, let's bury that kangaroo
from the waist down.
396
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,452
Holy shit!
Will only his legs come back?
397
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,854
Who knows?!
398
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:55,422
Hey, I'm having a great time
with you tonight, Morty!
399
00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:58,391
W-What's that one?
Ben Franklin!
400
00:15:58,425 --> 00:15:59,927
R-Remember we tried
wrapping him in tin foil
401
00:15:59,961 --> 00:16:01,963
to see if it'd shield him
from the evil?
402
00:16:01,996 --> 00:16:03,363
Oh, yeah.
403
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,464
Ow!
404
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,033
Fuck!
I-It's hot!
405
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:07,235
Jesus Christ...
406
00:16:07,268 --> 00:16:10,972
It cooked him like a pig
at a luau.
407
00:16:11,005 --> 00:16:12,106
It's so moist.
408
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,341
Rick!
That's a guy!
409
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,309
Man, what is this place
doing to us?
410
00:16:15,343 --> 00:16:18,079
Is nothing sacred
to you two?
411
00:16:18,112 --> 00:16:19,446
What are these clips?
412
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,714
Wh-What are we even
on trial for anymore?
413
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,984
What's anyone on trial for,
son?
414
00:16:23,017 --> 00:16:24,285
Being good or evil.
415
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,320
L-Look, sure,
we can be irreverent
416
00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:27,721
but w-we're far
from evil.
417
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,556
We make more friends
than enemies!
418
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,825
Let's run the tape
on that one!
419
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:34,195
Hey, Rick, can you make
my churro come to life?
420
00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:35,662
On it!
421
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:38,065
Hiiiiiiii!
I'm Churry!
422
00:16:38,099 --> 00:16:39,333
Churry,
do you want to have fun?
423
00:16:39,367 --> 00:16:40,400
Let's go!
424
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:11,032
This has been the best time
of my life, Churry.
425
00:17:11,065 --> 00:17:12,766
Okay, thanks, Rick!
426
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,368
Y-You can turn him back
into a regular churro now.
427
00:17:14,402 --> 00:17:16,037
What?
I-I can't turn him back.
428
00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:19,040
You asked me to bring him
to life. Bam, done.
429
00:17:19,073 --> 00:17:20,607
But he's a churro, he doesn't
have internal organs,
430
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,243
a brain, et cetera.
431
00:17:22,276 --> 00:17:26,247
in order to live, I had to
make him functionally immortal.
432
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,149
What.
433
00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:35,855
My...
My family!
434
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:36,890
Goodbye, Churry.
435
00:17:36,924 --> 00:17:38,892
I'll miss you.
436
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:44,531
These are just
regular churros?
437
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,500
Oh, my God, no!
438
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,736
Mark my words, Morty!
439
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:52,139
I shall leave you
as you left me!
440
00:17:52,173 --> 00:17:53,506
On a barren planet!
441
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:56,010
Praying for death!
442
00:17:56,043 --> 00:17:57,945
I'm starting to see why
this lawyer was free.
443
00:17:57,979 --> 00:18:00,948
Okay, well, we never
intentionally hurt people.
444
00:18:00,982 --> 00:18:02,882
Yeah, we adventure!
Stuff goes wrong.
445
00:18:02,917 --> 00:18:04,385
We don't just
murder for fun.
446
00:18:04,418 --> 00:18:06,519
Oh!
Here's a clip about that topic!
447
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,189
I did it, Morty!
448
00:18:08,222 --> 00:18:10,458
I killed the versions of us
that were in "Space Jam"!
449
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:11,825
Help me with the bodies!
Wow!
450
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,560
How you'd do it, Rick?
It was easy, Morty.
451
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,594
Th-They welcomed death!
452
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,030
They wanted out,
Morty!
453
00:18:16,063 --> 00:18:18,132
No, no, no, you don't get it,
they begged me.
454
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,300
It was a kindness!
455
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:20,368
Was that helpful?
456
00:18:20,401 --> 00:18:22,602
It was
for the prosecution!
457
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,238
Okay, I've heard enough!
458
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,772
No, you fucking haven't.
459
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,442
If we're about to die, at least
let us defend ourselves.
460
00:18:28,476 --> 00:18:29,542
-Ahh, the outrage!
-Ehh, seems iffy.
461
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:30,978
I'll allow it.
462
00:18:31,012 --> 00:18:32,446
But no lollygagging!
463
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,581
I only need one clip,
Your Honor.
464
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:38,085
If it pleases the court,
hold on to your tits.
465
00:18:42,223 --> 00:18:44,058
I'm a leg, Morty!
466
00:18:44,091 --> 00:18:45,993
You like that?
467
00:18:46,027 --> 00:18:47,428
Yeahhh, I know you do.
468
00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:49,497
Oh!
We already saw that one.
469
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:51,065
No, that's the other time
I did it.
470
00:18:51,098 --> 00:18:52,433
That was your Hail Mary?
471
00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:54,068
I held onto my tits
for nothing!
472
00:18:54,101 --> 00:18:55,069
-Boo!
-Boooo!
473
00:18:55,102 --> 00:18:56,070
-That was mid!
-Boo!
474
00:18:56,103 --> 00:18:57,238
I hereby find
475
00:18:57,271 --> 00:18:59,273
Rick and Morty guilty!
476
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,208
Time to die!
477
00:19:09,283 --> 00:19:10,484
What in tarnation?
478
00:19:10,518 --> 00:19:12,319
Plot twist!
Whattaya expect?
479
00:19:12,353 --> 00:19:14,922
You gave me access
to your tech.
480
00:19:14,955 --> 00:19:16,756
Look, I-I'm not saying
we're heroes,
481
00:19:16,790 --> 00:19:18,591
but in the two minutes
I've had access to your server,
482
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,361
I can "observe"
you're no better.
483
00:19:20,394 --> 00:19:23,630
Here,
let's see a clip.
484
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,598
Help! Please!
485
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,234
Oh, my God!
Please!
486
00:19:27,268 --> 00:19:29,336
Augh! Please!
487
00:19:32,306 --> 00:19:33,474
Absurd!
488
00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:35,142
If the Observer
was in the clip,
489
00:19:35,176 --> 00:19:36,477
who was watching?
490
00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:37,945
Glad you asked!
491
00:19:37,978 --> 00:19:39,914
Please!
492
00:19:39,947 --> 00:19:41,881
Augh!
493
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,085
Jesus Christ.
494
00:19:44,118 --> 00:19:46,853
You can't shame us for watching!
It's who we are!
495
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,490
Right, and you'd never
take advantage of that.
496
00:19:49,523 --> 00:19:51,525
Hot copies!
Freshly watched!
497
00:19:51,559 --> 00:19:53,194
I've got "Avatar" 3 through 6!
498
00:19:53,227 --> 00:19:56,130
Friends and Family screening,
the VFX aren't done,
499
00:19:56,163 --> 00:19:57,630
but they're still blue!
500
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,799
It's not my fault
I saw those movies!
501
00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:02,403
Yes!
We observe, it's all we do!
502
00:20:02,436 --> 00:20:04,071
Ohhoho!
It's not all you do.
503
00:20:04,105 --> 00:20:08,641
I'll give you guys $20
to fight each other.
504
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,544
Money, money!
505
00:20:10,578 --> 00:20:12,779
As it turns out,
you do plenty!
506
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,248
You're just as bad as us!
507
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,583
We're not all bad.
508
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,617
I observe a couple
of bad apples!
509
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,220
Who are you calling
an apple?
510
00:20:19,253 --> 00:20:22,590
Should we all observe
what you did with Tom's wife?
511
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:25,725
Observe me harder!
Harder!
512
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,428
I regret nothing,
Tom!
513
00:20:27,461 --> 00:20:28,963
The only thing
you could never see
514
00:20:28,996 --> 00:20:30,864
was what a treasure
Nancy was.
515
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:34,634
I'll kill you!
I'd like to observe you try!
516
00:20:37,004 --> 00:20:38,172
Geez, Rick.
517
00:20:38,205 --> 00:20:39,607
People be fucking
each other's wives, huh?
518
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,976
Marriage is a scam,
Morty.
519
00:20:42,009 --> 00:20:42,910
Let's scram.
520
00:20:42,943 --> 00:20:45,946
Wait!
I still have more clips!
521
00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:48,149
Morty, I appreciate
what you were trying to do,
522
00:20:48,182 --> 00:20:50,985
with the punch cards,
my whole groove thing.
523
00:20:51,018 --> 00:20:52,153
Thanks.
524
00:20:52,186 --> 00:20:53,820
So...
is this a stamp?
525
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,722
Or you gonna make me count this
as my adventure?
526
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,657
How about we just
ignore this one.
527
00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:00,494
Yeah.
Yeah, good call.
528
00:21:00,528 --> 00:21:01,495
80 cents on the dollar?
529
00:21:01,529 --> 00:21:03,597
75.
Done.
530
00:21:03,631 --> 00:21:04,831
Whattaya say, Rick?
531
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,567
Fly through space,
come upon something,
532
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,002
maybe I have
a moral objection,
533
00:21:08,035 --> 00:21:10,504
stuff gets messy,
and you ultimately bail us out?
534
00:21:10,538 --> 00:21:12,006
L-Let's take it
for a spin.
535
00:21:12,039 --> 00:21:14,475
Rick and Morty!
We're back, baby!
536
00:21:14,508 --> 00:21:15,808
Check the glovebox!
537
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,478
Whoa, another gun!
538
00:21:49,143 --> 00:21:52,313
Hey, Morty, see you at
the frolf mixer tomorrow?
539
00:21:52,346 --> 00:21:54,481
Y-Yeah, sure thing,
Jimmy.
540
00:21:56,517 --> 00:21:58,652
I knew this day
would come...
541
00:21:58,686 --> 00:22:00,621
Oh, oh, God!
542
00:22:00,654 --> 00:22:03,023
Aaah!
543
00:22:03,057 --> 00:22:04,425
Niiice.
544
00:22:04,458 --> 00:22:06,160
Free churro.
545
00:22:06,193 --> 00:22:08,128
Whew.
546
00:22:08,162 --> 00:22:10,464
Aaah!
547
00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:13,733
Did you get any of that?