1
00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:41,208
I'm gonna rip out
your spleen
2
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,644
and feed it
to your husband!
3
00:00:42,677 --> 00:00:44,077
Uh-oh.
Wouldn't want that.
4
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:46,714
Yikes, Morty, we'd better run
before it figures out
5
00:00:46,748 --> 00:00:47,715
what a husband is.
6
00:00:47,749 --> 00:00:49,149
This carnival
of nightmares
7
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:50,350
used to be scary,
right?
8
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,753
Eh.
We've seen too much.
9
00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:54,589
It sucks, you know,
'cause it's fun to break off
10
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:55,557
a scare now and then.
11
00:00:55,590 --> 00:00:57,157
Did I hear you fellas
wishin' for some
12
00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:58,526
good old fashioned
scares?
13
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,995
I mean, I more wish
you wouldn't eavesdrop.
14
00:01:01,029 --> 00:01:01,996
Yeah, who are you?
15
00:01:02,030 --> 00:01:03,397
Does the suit mean
you work here,
16
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,065
or that you super
don't work here?
17
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:07,936
Like yourselves,
I'm a connoisseur of fear.
18
00:01:07,969 --> 00:01:09,369
I'm also originally
from Earth.
19
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,305
And did you know
Earth is the home
20
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:14,141
of the single scariest place
in the galaxy?
21
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:15,475
I can show you
if you like.
22
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:18,378
We were headed
that way anyway.
23
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,847
Take a left.
Almost there.
24
00:01:19,881 --> 00:01:21,214
We know
where Earth is.
25
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,350
For guys like you, you know,
who've seen it all,
26
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:26,353
there's only a few real fears
left to conquer.
27
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:31,593
And one of them is
right down here.
28
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:34,361
Okay, what the hell?
29
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:35,830
Yeah, this
is punching down.
30
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,699
Denny's is a nice chain
that gives people starchy food
31
00:01:37,732 --> 00:01:39,466
when they're up late.
It's a hack joke, buddy.
32
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:42,670
No, this is the place.
Good luck to both of you.
33
00:01:42,704 --> 00:01:44,471
I'm gonna get myself a slam.
34
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,340
He just wanted
a ride, right?
35
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:48,743
He certainly
took us for one.
36
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,311
Welp, as long
as we're here.
37
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:53,413
Okay, Lumberjack Slam,
Grand Slamwhich,
38
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,917
Pancake Puppies,
Slamburger, two milkshakes...
39
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,085
and an order of Cheddar Tots.
40
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,720
Let me know when you want
your check,
41
00:01:58,753 --> 00:02:00,822
and if you're here for The Hole,
it's in the men's bathroom.
42
00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:01,956
The what now?
Hole?
43
00:02:01,990 --> 00:02:04,859
The Fear Hole.
Men's bathroom.
44
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,004
Well, it's definitely
a hole.
45
00:02:16,037 --> 00:02:17,705
They weren't
lying about that.
46
00:02:17,739 --> 00:02:19,707
Is that hair?
Seaweed?
47
00:02:19,741 --> 00:02:21,743
Boy, it's really circling
the whole rim, huh.
48
00:02:21,776 --> 00:02:24,512
Guess you got to jump in
without touching the sides?
49
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,313
You think there's spikes
on the bottom?
50
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:28,016
I don't think
they want you to go in there
51
00:02:28,049 --> 00:02:29,083
and just die.
52
00:02:29,117 --> 00:02:30,450
What kind of business
would that be?
53
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,886
Well, they're not
drowning in money.
54
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,988
They still have
a built-in TV/VCR.
55
00:02:34,022 --> 00:02:35,222
Hey, it's
that carnival guy.
56
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,490
Oh, so he
gets a kickback.
57
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:39,226
Hi. Welcome to The Hole.
Here's how it works.
58
00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:41,796
You jump in. The Hole manifests
your greatest fear.
59
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:45,066
You conquer that fear,
and come out, well, fearless.
60
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:46,634
And you get your picture
on the wall!
61
00:02:46,668 --> 00:02:48,402
What does The Hole
get out of it?
62
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:51,471
Well, you know those fish that
nibble dead skin off your feet?
63
00:02:51,506 --> 00:02:53,240
Yeah, the Hole's kind of
like that.
64
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,509
It eats fear.
65
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:57,979
You win. It wins.
Have fun, and enjoy the Ho-
66
00:02:58,012 --> 00:02:59,947
Hey, Gaddafi,
cool your jets
67
00:02:59,981 --> 00:03:01,448
with a taste of Mountain Dew!
68
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,383
This has been here
since VHS tapes
69
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,019
and there's only
three photos?
70
00:03:05,053 --> 00:03:06,353
Yeah, my tots
are getting cold.
71
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,156
So you don't
want to do it?
72
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,389
Do you?
I mean...
73
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,491
It says it takes away
your greatest fear.
74
00:03:11,526 --> 00:03:14,095
My greatest fear, Morty,
is trusting a gross hole
75
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:16,296
to conquer my fear,
and I conquer that fear
76
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,598
by walking away.
77
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,801
Okay, fine.
78
00:03:21,102 --> 00:03:23,604
You little turd!
79
00:03:25,073 --> 00:03:26,206
Oh, God!
80
00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:27,742
Oh, God!
81
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:33,881
Hold still while I stuff
you with maggots!
82
00:03:33,915 --> 00:03:36,316
Rick!
83
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:39,754
Okay, the Hole thinks I'm scared
of not having a gun?
84
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:43,758
Fear conquered!
85
00:03:45,026 --> 00:03:46,794
Check out them gains!
Morty!
86
00:03:46,828 --> 00:03:48,129
Where are you, Morty?
87
00:03:48,162 --> 00:03:49,063
Let's go!
88
00:03:49,097 --> 00:03:51,699
Oh, jeez!
Oh, God, oh, jeez!
89
00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:53,501
We both shit our pants!
What a fuckin' ride!
90
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,536
Christ, Rick!
My button. Maggots.
91
00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:56,671
In my button!
92
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,039
Fuck yeah, on the wall,
motherfucker!
93
00:03:58,072 --> 00:04:01,241
It's not worth it!
Not worth it!
94
00:04:02,744 --> 00:04:05,412
Oh, my God, you both reek.
What is that?
95
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:06,848
Morty and I
shit our pants.
96
00:04:06,881 --> 00:04:09,617
You're looking at the two
newest members of the Hole Club.
97
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,619
Uh, okay, sluts.
98
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,420
What the hell?
99
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:16,323
Bomb almost killed her.
100
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:20,360
Take care of our wife.
101
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,663
Rick?
No! Oh, my God.
102
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,264
No. No!
103
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:26,200
Mom?
Where am I?
104
00:04:26,234 --> 00:04:27,267
Who are you people?
105
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,368
You're my mom, but,
106
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:29,469
you're young?
107
00:04:29,504 --> 00:04:31,205
Rick,
what's happening?
108
00:04:31,239 --> 00:04:32,940
W-Wait.
109
00:04:32,974 --> 00:04:34,075
Rick?
110
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:36,077
What the fuck, Grandpa?
Say something!
111
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,612
Okay, we're clearly
still in the hole.
112
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,346
That's exactly
what I was thinking.
113
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:40,848
We never left
the hole and --
114
00:04:40,882 --> 00:04:42,750
And part of the hole is thinking
you left the hole and then --
115
00:04:42,784 --> 00:04:44,317
And then it can
really dig into you.
116
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,953
Because you can't really be
scared of anything
117
00:04:45,987 --> 00:04:46,988
if you know you're --
118
00:04:47,021 --> 00:04:48,256
Still in the hole.
119
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,724
What the fuck are you
two talking about?
120
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,291
Why is dead Grandma alive
in our living room?
121
00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:52,760
Rick, why are you old?
122
00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:53,928
All great questions.
123
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,396
You guys get reacquainted
while we grab some equipment.
124
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:58,900
Wait, are we sure this isn't,
like, a double mislead?
125
00:04:58,933 --> 00:05:01,536
A double mislead like we went
into a generic fear hole
126
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,638
and then coincidentally
came home to that?
127
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,773
That's...
That's my wife.
128
00:05:05,807 --> 00:05:07,275
From the day I lost her.
129
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,678
Well, what's it got
to do with me?
130
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:11,646
Rick!
Right.
131
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:12,914
I think I figured
it out, Morty.
132
00:05:12,947 --> 00:05:15,016
Your greatest fear is me
getting Diane back
133
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:16,984
and being happy again.
What? Why?
134
00:05:17,018 --> 00:05:18,286
Because then
I won't need you.
135
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,054
Look how scared you're getting
just talking about it.
136
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:21,722
I'm not scared,
I'm insulted,
137
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:23,591
what kind of backhanded-ass
theory is that?
138
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,526
My greatest fear
is you hooking up?
139
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,762
You're right.
We can't know for sure
140
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:28,930
until I get more data.
141
00:05:28,963 --> 00:05:31,699
Alright, family, who wants
to catch up over ice cream?
142
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:34,268
I knew he was working
on teleportation.
143
00:05:34,302 --> 00:05:37,171
But wouldn't this be
time travel?
144
00:05:37,205 --> 00:05:39,006
Oh, Dad never
touches time travel.
145
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,407
Ye calls it the Long --
146
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,409
The Long Island Iced Tea of
science fiction, yes,
147
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:44,111
but then what --
what is this?
148
00:05:44,145 --> 00:05:45,780
Don't worry about it.
It's not real.
149
00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:48,115
Okay. I figure it's better
to do this in front of you.
150
00:05:48,149 --> 00:05:49,717
I didn't want to walk
in de-aged.
151
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,652
What do you think, D?
45? Younger?
152
00:05:51,686 --> 00:05:53,221
I don't care about
your age, Rick.
153
00:05:53,254 --> 00:05:55,223
I don't even want
to call you that.
154
00:05:55,256 --> 00:05:57,490
That's my husband's name.
He just died.
155
00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,961
I know. So, 27?
156
00:05:59,994 --> 00:06:01,662
Dad!
You're traumatizing her.
157
00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:02,830
What?
It's my face, too.
158
00:06:02,864 --> 00:06:04,532
And now Diane gets
to understand
159
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,534
that I'm still sexy
and a genius.
160
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:07,969
What a kindness.
161
00:06:08,002 --> 00:06:10,470
You were right, Rick.
I'm really terrified right now.
162
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:11,772
Terrified of what?
163
00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:13,641
If you don't mind,
I'd like to get to know
164
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:17,044
the adult version of my --
Oh, my God.
165
00:06:17,078 --> 00:06:18,646
Where's my real daughter?
166
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:19,881
Sweetie,
it's all right.
167
00:06:19,914 --> 00:06:21,582
This may as well be
our real daughter
168
00:06:21,616 --> 00:06:23,383
because she's just
as real as you.
169
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:24,484
What?
Put it this way.
170
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,120
You're all
basically NPCs.
171
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,255
Only Morty
and I are real,
172
00:06:27,288 --> 00:06:28,890
so your side quests
don't matter.
173
00:06:28,923 --> 00:06:30,791
The main quest is us.
174
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:31,926
You're disgusting.
175
00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,160
You're talking about
176
00:06:33,194 --> 00:06:35,062
our baby girl like
she's theoretical?
177
00:06:35,096 --> 00:06:36,097
Welcome to the family.
178
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,464
No, you don't
get it, honey.
179
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,100
Even if this was real,
she'd be only a version
180
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:41,202
of your daughter who could also
be a clone of your daughter.
181
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,337
Stop wearing
my husband's face!
182
00:06:43,371 --> 00:06:44,372
You're nothing like him!
183
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,539
Because I lost you!
184
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:48,910
Maybe you
didn't deserve me!
185
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,481
You want to
hear a new theory?
186
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:58,085
Maybe your greatest fear
is getting a second chance
187
00:06:58,119 --> 00:06:59,520
with her and blowing it.
188
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,488
You don't think that fear's
been pretty well faced?
189
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,224
Then you haven't
conquered it.
190
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,393
Or accepted it.
Or something.
191
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,228
"Or something?"
I'm not a fearologist!
192
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,829
Morty, all rom-coms
have an arc.
193
00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,765
Even "You've Got Mail"
begins with Tom Hanks
194
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,066
killing that cop.
Really?
195
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,267
I don't know.
I'm not going to
196
00:07:13,301 --> 00:07:14,669
fucking watch
"You've Got Mail."
197
00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:16,037
I'm doing this
for you, Morty.
198
00:07:16,070 --> 00:07:17,705
The sooner I get her back,
the sooner you can conquer
199
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,241
your fear of being
a useless, lonely turd.
200
00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:23,544
You don't think
that's been faced?
201
00:07:27,248 --> 00:07:29,917
♪ Hello, Diane, here's
the song I rehearsed ♪
202
00:07:29,951 --> 00:07:32,720
♪ You had a bad day
and Rick made it worse ♪
203
00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:34,922
♪ He felt bad,
so he created me ♪
204
00:07:34,956 --> 00:07:37,825
♪ I deliver you
waffles and an apology ♪
205
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,061
Why do I have memories
of being a human child?
206
00:07:40,094 --> 00:07:41,829
Why would I need --
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
207
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,798
Goddamnit, there was
a whole second verse
208
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,666
about inviting you
to the zoo with the family.
209
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:48,069
I've seen
that robot's arms.
210
00:07:48,102 --> 00:07:50,271
Yeah, I used them
on a law enforcement drone
211
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,471
that the Feds
had me build.
212
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:55,609
It's how we, uh --
How I met my wife.
213
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,812
The zoo sounds nice.
214
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,714
And this one time,
we raised a civilization
215
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:00,948
living on
a zit on my face,
216
00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:02,817
and Grandpa helped me
rule over it as queen.
217
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:05,319
It sounds like you guys
are a real family now.
218
00:08:05,353 --> 00:08:07,722
I wish you could've
been part of it, Mom.
219
00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:09,290
Oh.
220
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,624
Oh, honey.
221
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,593
Rick, is there a deadline
on this theory you're chasing?
222
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:16,430
Uh, yeah, sure.
Uh, that's a good idea, Morty.
223
00:08:16,464 --> 00:08:18,733
Do that.
224
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:21,535
I always wished I knew
what they were saying.
225
00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:22,670
Your Master's thesis.
226
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,738
Non-human Intelligence.
227
00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:25,573
When did you read that?
228
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:26,774
After you were gone.
229
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,876
It helped me
develop this.
230
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:31,645
Fuck you.
Fuck you, Greg!
231
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,080
Fuck you, Lisa!
Yum, bread.
232
00:08:33,114 --> 00:08:34,715
-No, fuck you!
-Fuck you! There's bread.
233
00:08:34,749 --> 00:08:35,850
I guess that's
what I expected?
234
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,051
Anticlimactic,
isn't it?
235
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,453
Yep, they kind of suck.
236
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,692
Hey, want to
grab a drink?
237
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,595
Whoo!
Alright, yeah!
238
00:08:58,406 --> 00:09:00,608
Oh, when did you stop
being a lightweight?
239
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:03,477
Kept looking for my wife
at the bottom of a bottle.
240
00:09:03,512 --> 00:09:04,779
You're pathetic.
241
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:08,082
Hey.
To being pathetic.
242
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,220
Clear!
243
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,499
My turn, my turn.
244
00:09:28,069 --> 00:09:30,304
I'll tell
you what, old man.
245
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:34,241
Seems like losing me made you
cooler.
246
00:09:34,275 --> 00:09:35,976
I should
die more often.
247
00:09:37,078 --> 00:09:38,379
You did.
248
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:41,048
You died everywhere
forever.
249
00:09:41,082 --> 00:09:43,150
You're the only thing
I can't replace.
250
00:09:43,184 --> 00:09:45,252
Okay, okay,
Mr. Weepy.
251
00:09:45,286 --> 00:09:47,121
I'm not even
real, remember?
252
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,890
Nothing's real.
That's your jam, right?
253
00:09:49,924 --> 00:09:53,194
My grandson, our grandson,
thinks this is happening
254
00:09:53,227 --> 00:09:55,663
because my greatest fear
is letting you go.
255
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:56,764
Then don't.
256
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:57,932
I don't want to.
Then kiss me.
257
00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,000
I'm old,
and we have puke mouth.
258
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:03,304
Well, I'm not here,
and it's not real puke.
259
00:10:10,845 --> 00:10:12,413
Okay, Rick -- whoa!
Dude!
260
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:13,881
Fuck you, Morty.
It's a blazer.
261
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,850
That's not what I meant.
You look sick.
262
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,084
The hole
is feeding on you.
263
00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:18,919
I thought it's supposed
to eat my fear.
264
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,254
Can we get some fucking
rules up in this hole?
265
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,156
I don't know the rules!
Maybe you're just dying
266
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,091
because you've been
in here too long!
267
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:25,092
Interesting theory.
268
00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:27,094
I wonder why you're
so rosy-cheeked.
269
00:10:27,128 --> 00:10:28,295
What are you saying?
270
00:10:28,329 --> 00:10:30,297
Maybe the real you is off
somewhere running from spiders.
271
00:10:30,331 --> 00:10:31,600
Oh, so now
I'm not real?
272
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:33,602
Yeah, maybe my greatest fear
is having to tell you to
273
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:34,902
fuck the fuck off.
274
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,303
Go ahead and face it!
Fuck the fuck off!
275
00:10:36,337 --> 00:10:37,972
Hey.
Ready to Showbiz Pizza?
276
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,141
Let me see
that bear play banjo!
277
00:10:40,174 --> 00:10:41,008
Here's one for ya.
278
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,943
I'm afraid
of watching you die.
279
00:10:42,977 --> 00:10:46,714
I like that theory, Morty.
So stop watching.
280
00:10:49,383 --> 00:10:51,352
Okay, this is it.
You nailed it.
281
00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:55,422
My worst nightmare.
I'd like to leave The Hole now.
282
00:10:55,456 --> 00:10:58,159
Hey. Hey, Hole,
I'm talking to you.
283
00:10:58,192 --> 00:11:00,294
Are you listening?
284
00:11:08,169 --> 00:11:10,605
So, what are you,
like, the Hole?
285
00:11:10,639 --> 00:11:11,939
The Hole's promoter?
286
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,374
The Hole's intern?
Is there a hole here?
287
00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:16,177
Right, I'm supposed to go
in there and be shocked
288
00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:18,913
that there's no hole,
or that there is a hole?
289
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:20,014
What difference
would it make?
290
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,349
Hm, you are
hard to scare.
291
00:11:22,383 --> 00:11:23,618
And Rick isn't, right?
292
00:11:23,652 --> 00:11:25,419
The Hole's gonna, like,
suck on him forever
293
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,623
because his big secret
is that he's got the most fear?
294
00:11:28,657 --> 00:11:30,625
Well, we can certainly say
you're not afraid
295
00:11:30,659 --> 00:11:31,660
to be reductive.
296
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,494
I doubt your grandpa
has "more" fear
297
00:11:33,528 --> 00:11:35,262
than the average asshole
in a Denny's.
298
00:11:35,296 --> 00:11:36,430
Hey!
Sorry.
299
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:37,898
If anything,
he seems pretty brave.
300
00:11:37,932 --> 00:11:39,634
He's certainly not
afraid to die.
301
00:11:39,668 --> 00:11:43,337
Maybe that makes his
fear extra delicious.
302
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,474
So, what,
he's scared of love?
303
00:11:47,509 --> 00:11:49,376
Everyone's scared of
love, dipshit.
304
00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:50,545
You'll learn that
in your '20s.
305
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:52,647
It takes a very rare,
very powerful
306
00:11:52,681 --> 00:11:55,382
being to be terrified
of happiness.
307
00:11:55,416 --> 00:11:57,051
Dumb.
You're dumb.
308
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,485
That's why you're not scared
to be happy.
309
00:11:58,520 --> 00:11:59,720
The smarter you are,
the more you know.
310
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:02,323
Happiness is a trap.
It can't last forever.
311
00:12:02,356 --> 00:12:04,058
Let's say you meet the love
of your life,
312
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:05,492
well, it's still
gonna end.
313
00:12:05,527 --> 00:12:08,796
It's inevitable, whether
by the slow pull of a disease,
314
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:11,065
or the shock of loose footing
on a hiking trail,
315
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,234
whether it be the corrosion
of two personalities
316
00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:15,670
that reshape each other
until they're incompatible,
317
00:12:15,704 --> 00:12:17,137
or maybe the old
stranger in a bar
318
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,973
who says the things
that need to be said,
319
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:21,242
to that person,
that night.
320
00:12:21,275 --> 00:12:24,745
The point is,
happiness always ends.
321
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,648
Best case scenario,
think about this.
322
00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:31,085
Best case is that you die
at the same time.
323
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:32,119
Yikes.
324
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,521
Can't the Hole just
let me go then?
325
00:12:33,555 --> 00:12:35,089
Sounds like I don't matter.
You don't.
326
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,091
But if you go,
you'll take him away.
327
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,092
Don't worry.
328
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,426
Rick will die before
accepting happiness.
329
00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:41,962
After that, we'll chase you
with some clowns
330
00:12:41,996 --> 00:12:43,698
or some dumb shit
like that.
331
00:12:43,732 --> 00:12:44,999
But Grandpa...
332
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:47,801
Yummy, yummy.
Grandpa's gonna die.
333
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,970
Just like Diane.
334
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:59,113
Sir, you've been in this booth
for a really long time.
335
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:00,515
One coffee
isn't gonna cut it.
336
00:13:00,548 --> 00:13:03,050
That's fair. Want to split
some pancake puppies?
337
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,084
No!
338
00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:07,756
Beth!
Summer? Anyone!
339
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,156
Dad, it's not real.
Neither are you.
340
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:11,892
If that's true,
then you deal with it!
341
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:14,361
You know what?
You're right.
342
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,599
How about this?
343
00:13:17,632 --> 00:13:19,199
Morty!
What are you doing?
344
00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:21,168
Being scared!
345
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,340
How is that not enough fear?
346
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:28,475
You're the one
scaring me, Morty!
347
00:13:28,510 --> 00:13:29,744
No, no, Dad,
it's okay.
348
00:13:29,778 --> 00:13:32,580
It's not okay!
That wasn't normal!
349
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:37,686
My greatest fear
is not being accepted.
350
00:13:37,719 --> 00:13:38,952
It should be!
351
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,288
And you need to fear it
a hell of a lot more!
352
00:13:42,724 --> 00:13:44,024
I can do that.
353
00:13:44,058 --> 00:13:45,926
You like that?
Do you want to die?
354
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:50,297
I have enough unaddressed trauma
to flood this hallway.
355
00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:52,299
You fuckin' idiot,
this list says
356
00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:55,235
"Top Five Things", and you
only wrote down four.
357
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:02,343
Trust fall!
358
00:14:02,376 --> 00:14:05,179
None of us touch or speak
to this kid ever.
359
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:08,916
Maybe take a picture,
send it to your friends?
360
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,484
Huh. Not a bad idea.
361
00:14:10,518 --> 00:14:13,521
How can we do the school play
if Johnny has laryngitis?
362
00:14:13,555 --> 00:14:14,823
There's no understudy!
363
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:17,324
Put me in the play.
You don't know the lines.
364
00:14:17,358 --> 00:14:19,993
Yes, I do.
"Three Days of Rain."
365
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,328
I have it memorized.
366
00:14:21,362 --> 00:14:23,030
And I refuse to prove that
until you cast me.
367
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,466
Have it your way, but
The New York Times is coming,
368
00:14:25,499 --> 00:14:27,935
and they're doing a feature
on the current state
369
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,436
of young American theater.
370
00:14:31,639 --> 00:14:33,006
Perfect.
371
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,609
It ended in a church?
What?
372
00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:38,245
Yeah, they'd already died.
It was purgatory or something.
373
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,781
How did your universe's
version end?
374
00:14:39,814 --> 00:14:42,449
Mm, Jack, Locke, and Sawyer
teamed up to kill a fog monster
375
00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:43,718
and everyone got rescued.
376
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:46,253
It was one season long,
and it was perfect television.
377
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,857
You can be great or you can be
around forever, right?
378
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,692
True. True.
379
00:14:50,725 --> 00:14:52,326
True. True.
380
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,328
True. True.
Where's this going?
381
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,964
We doing robot role play?
I've got oil at home.
382
00:14:58,298 --> 00:14:59,567
What was that?
True. True. True. True.
383
00:14:59,601 --> 00:15:00,769
Diane.
Diane? Diane?
384
00:15:00,802 --> 00:15:02,504
Hey. Stay with me.
Diane. Diane.
385
00:15:02,537 --> 00:15:03,838
Diane?
Rick?
386
00:15:03,872 --> 00:15:04,972
What's happening?
387
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,141
Fuckin' Morty!
He's trying to hog the hole.
388
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:08,976
Come on!
389
00:15:14,716 --> 00:15:18,986
Alas, our
father is dead.
390
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:20,988
Walker, are you here?
391
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:26,828
Uh, hi.
I'm Walker. Uh...
392
00:15:26,861 --> 00:15:28,863
Sure has been raining
393
00:15:28,897 --> 00:15:30,931
a lot of days.
394
00:15:32,534 --> 00:15:34,067
What the fuck
is he doing?
395
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,804
What's wrong with him?
396
00:15:35,837 --> 00:15:36,970
He's naked.
397
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:40,040
And why does he look sick?
398
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:43,143
Because he's dying.
399
00:15:43,177 --> 00:15:44,044
Fuck.
400
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,146
I got to get
him out of here.
401
00:15:46,180 --> 00:15:47,849
But if I do, I might
have to go with him.
402
00:15:47,882 --> 00:15:50,384
I don't want to.
I don't want to, Diane,
403
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,286
I think my greatest fear
is letting you go.
404
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:55,189
That's a good fear, Rick.
Keep that fear.
405
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:57,291
If you don't,
you'll kill me.
406
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:58,526
Again.
407
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,862
I know. But I don't have
to kill Morty, too.
408
00:16:00,895 --> 00:16:02,730
How do you know
he's even real?
409
00:16:02,764 --> 00:16:05,999
Look at his weird
little balls.
410
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:07,869
Goodbye, Diane.
411
00:16:10,672 --> 00:16:12,339
Rick!
Shut up Morty.
412
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:15,409
DJ, drop that beat.
We got to conquer a fear!
413
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:18,212
♪ This is my grandson ♪
414
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,413
♪ Don't look at his pee-pee ♪
415
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,014
♪ Instead of staring at Morty ♪
416
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,249
♪ Put your eyes on me-me ♪
417
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,651
♪ I'm a roped-out freak ♪
418
00:16:23,685 --> 00:16:25,052
♪ Loose dog in my ass ♪
419
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,220
♪ Macaroni in my pocket ♪
420
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:27,755
♪ Rickity masterclass ♪
421
00:16:27,789 --> 00:16:29,089
♪ I don't know how to rap ♪
422
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,324
♪ I don't know how to rhyme ♪
423
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,192
♪ I don't know how to rap ♪
424
00:16:32,226 --> 00:16:34,829
♪ Now eat my shit! ♪
425
00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,063
Incredible.
426
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,264
♪ Now throw your hands up! ♪
427
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:38,633
♪ And put your hands down ♪
428
00:16:38,666 --> 00:16:40,100
♪ Throw your hands up ♪
429
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:41,569
♪ Now put them back down ♪
430
00:16:41,603 --> 00:16:44,506
♪ Three days of rain ♪
431
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,042
That was an astounding feat
of personal bravery.
432
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:52,547
Nudity always makes theater
serious and good.
433
00:16:52,580 --> 00:16:53,882
How do you feel?
434
00:16:53,915 --> 00:16:55,550
Accepted. You?
435
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:57,886
Pathetic. But...
436
00:16:57,919 --> 00:16:59,086
happy?
437
00:17:11,966 --> 00:17:14,836
We did it!
We conquered our fears.
438
00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:16,270
Right?
439
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,374
Uh, hey, Rick.
440
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:23,377
You just looked real sad,
which I'm afraid of.
441
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:26,380
You know, of being responsible
for your sadness.
442
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:29,517
Which means, I think
we might still be in The Hole.
443
00:17:29,551 --> 00:17:31,519
Huh. Well,
I am definitely afraid
444
00:17:31,553 --> 00:17:33,555
of you ever knowing
anything before me.
445
00:17:33,588 --> 00:17:37,959
So, yeah, I'd say there's a 100%
chance that we're still --
446
00:17:37,992 --> 00:17:40,528
God damn it. Is this
going to be a whole thing?
447
00:17:40,562 --> 00:17:42,262
No word play, Morty.
We have to figure out
448
00:17:42,296 --> 00:17:44,164
our actual fears if we're ever
going to get out of here.
449
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,533
Actual fears?
Yeah.
450
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:47,334
Tell me your fuckin' fear
so we can conquer it.
451
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,603
I just had
to crucify myself
452
00:17:48,636 --> 00:17:50,572
in order to save you
from your Hole wife,
453
00:17:50,605 --> 00:17:53,407
and you think I'm the one
with unresolved fears?
454
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,375
I ought to be afraid that
we'll never get out,
455
00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:58,145
because you'll never admit
that you're afraid!
456
00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:02,951
Okay. Good job.
You conquered it, right?
457
00:18:02,984 --> 00:18:05,319
I think so.
How are we supposed to know?
458
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:06,721
No, no, this is real.
I can tell.
459
00:18:06,754 --> 00:18:08,590
You're not afraid that you
could be certain
460
00:18:08,623 --> 00:18:12,760
about something
and still turn out to be wrong?
461
00:18:12,794 --> 00:18:14,227
You cowardly asshole!
462
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:16,229
How was I supposed
to know?!
463
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,901
$8 for a side of bacon!
464
00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:21,970
Are you fucking
kidding me?!
465
00:18:22,003 --> 00:18:23,838
It's a symptom of
a larger concern, Morty.
466
00:18:23,871 --> 00:18:25,238
If capitalism collapses --
467
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:26,674
Are we done here?
I don't know.
468
00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:28,375
Aren't you a little
afraid at this point
469
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,243
of The Hole itself?
What?
470
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,379
I swear to God, if we're
still climbing out of this
471
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,214
fucking Hole
two seasons from now.
472
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:35,583
Maybe that was it.
What?
473
00:18:35,617 --> 00:18:38,620
Maybe we needed to let go of
our fear of uncertainty.
474
00:18:38,653 --> 00:18:39,921
You know?
Right.
475
00:18:39,954 --> 00:18:42,456
I'd say we're pretty native
to that at this point.
476
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,458
Okay, thank you, Hole!
Thank you, Hole!
477
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,928
We no longer need to know
if we're in you.
478
00:18:46,961 --> 00:18:49,764
So, bye.
479
00:18:55,870 --> 00:18:57,371
Are you afraid
we're still in it?
480
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,740
I mean, I hope
we're not,
481
00:18:58,773 --> 00:19:01,208
but if we are --
We'll find out eventually.
482
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,442
Which no longer
scares me.
483
00:19:02,476 --> 00:19:05,847
Same. Okay.
I'm gonna go get drunk.
484
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:13,320
♪ Move on they say, you'll
feel better with time ♪
485
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:18,660
♪ But time alone can't heal
this heart of mine ♪
486
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:25,900
♪ You can't go back,
that's the only rule ♪
487
00:19:25,933 --> 00:19:31,673
♪ But rules were meant to break
when it comes to you ♪
488
00:19:31,706 --> 00:19:38,245
♪ I saw time and time
slip by when I withdrew ♪
489
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:44,886
♪ I wandered far and wide
without you ♪
490
00:19:44,919 --> 00:19:47,155
♪ Without you ♪
491
00:19:57,732 --> 00:20:04,072
♪ So I bury my dead,
and I try to start again ♪
492
00:20:04,105 --> 00:20:10,377
♪ But it will never be the same
as it was back then ♪
493
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:16,584
♪ I've seen time and time
slip by, but I'll make do ♪
494
00:20:16,617 --> 00:20:18,519
♪ 'Cause I won't live my life ♪
495
00:20:18,553 --> 00:20:21,756
Oh, my God!
I've turned into my dad!
496
00:20:22,557 --> 00:20:24,192
Oh, maybe there's
no way out.
497
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,693
Maybe we were
born here.
498
00:20:25,727 --> 00:20:28,062
Come on.
We're gonna get through this.
499
00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:29,396
I'm staying here.
500
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:32,365
No. We're Rick and Morty.
I'm not leaving without you.
501
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:33,534
What did you say?
502
00:20:33,568 --> 00:20:35,036
I said I'm not leaving you
in here.
503
00:20:35,069 --> 00:20:36,671
Come on.
You're irreplaceable...
504
00:20:36,704 --> 00:20:39,272
irreplaceable...
irreplaceable...
505
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:40,942
What?
Oh, my God!
506
00:20:40,975 --> 00:20:42,543
I know what I'm afraid of.
507
00:20:42,577 --> 00:20:44,645
I'm afraid you'd never say
that in real life.
508
00:20:44,679 --> 00:20:46,614
I'm afraid that if
I jumped into a hole,
509
00:20:46,647 --> 00:20:48,916
you wouldn't even bother
jumping in after me.
510
00:20:48,950 --> 00:20:50,585
You'd just stand there
and watch.
511
00:20:50,618 --> 00:20:53,020
This entire thing
has been about me.
512
00:20:53,054 --> 00:20:57,257
You're not even in the Hole,
are you?
513
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,326
Thank you for visiting
the Fear Hole, Morty.
514
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:03,197
Your fear of relying on Rick
has been delicious.
515
00:21:03,231 --> 00:21:05,967
Dear God!
516
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,170
Morty!
How was it?
517
00:21:09,203 --> 00:21:10,370
Was it spiders?
518
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:13,574
Oh. Oh, jeez.
Oh, my God, no.
519
00:21:13,608 --> 00:21:15,610
You -- You didn't
go in at all?
520
00:21:15,643 --> 00:21:17,111
No, it's
a one-person ride.
521
00:21:17,145 --> 00:21:18,846
You can't face two fears
at the same time.
522
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,448
If my fear was fire
and yours was water --
523
00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:24,018
I get it.
It's fine.
524
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,788
It really is fine.
Huh.
525
00:21:26,821 --> 00:21:29,356
You do seem a little
less burdened.
526
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:31,959
Rick, am I
irreplaceable?
527
00:21:31,993 --> 00:21:34,695
I mean, define
irreplaceable.
528
00:21:34,729 --> 00:21:37,565
That's good.
Good.
529
00:21:37,598 --> 00:21:39,033
I'm back.
530
00:21:39,066 --> 00:21:41,301
Don't! Or I won't know
if I'm out!
531
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:42,402
Is it that good?
532
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:43,771
Should I go in?
No!
533
00:21:43,805 --> 00:21:45,239
You holdin' out on me?
534
00:21:45,273 --> 00:21:46,874
You don't want to deal
with it, Rick.
535
00:21:46,908 --> 00:21:49,376
There was messed-up
mental shit in there.
536
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,545
Like, Diane
was in there.
537
00:21:50,578 --> 00:21:52,345
What?
Not in a good way.
538
00:21:52,379 --> 00:21:53,714
Just trust me.
539
00:21:53,748 --> 00:21:57,350
Okay, buddy.
Let's go slam some pancakes.
540
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,702
Ooh-whee.
How bout that?
541
00:22:47,735 --> 00:22:48,936
Season 7!
542
00:22:48,970 --> 00:22:51,672
It was touch and go there
for a second.
543
00:22:51,706 --> 00:22:54,141
Remember when I stole my kid?
544
00:22:54,175 --> 00:22:57,545
I stole one of these, too!
545
00:22:59,747 --> 00:23:01,883
It's all about having a goal
546
00:23:01,916 --> 00:23:04,919
and stopping at nothing
to achieve it!
547
00:23:04,952 --> 00:23:07,922
Then you'll be fulfilled!
548
00:23:14,461 --> 00:23:16,097
Did you get any of that?