1 00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:43,001 I'm gonna rip out your spleen and feed it to your husband! 2 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,586 {\an8}Wouldn't want that. 3 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,089 {\an8}Morty, we'd better run before it figures out what a husband is. 4 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,842 {\an8}This carnival of nightmares used to be scary, right? 5 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,178 - We've seen too much. - It sucks, you know? 6 00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,555 {\an8}Cause it's fun to break off a scare now and then. 7 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:59,267 {\an8}Did I hear you fellas wishing for some good old fashioned scares? 8 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,144 {\an8}I mean, I more wish you wouldn't eavesdrop. 9 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,938 {\an8}Who are you? Does the suit mean you work here, 10 00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:05,565 {\an8}or that you super don't work here? 11 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,318 {\an8}Like yourselves, I'm a connoisseur of fear. 12 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:11,112 {\an8}I'm also originally from Earth. And did you know Earth 13 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,990 {\an8}is the home of the single scariest place in the galaxy? 14 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:15,575 {\an8}I can show you if you like. 15 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:17,410 {\an8}We were headed that way anyway. 16 00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:21,414 {\an8}- Take a left. Almost there. - We know where Earth is. 17 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,583 {\an8}For guys like you, you know, who've seen it all 18 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,795 {\an8}there's only a few real fears left to conquer. 19 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:30,215 {\an8}And one of them is right down here. 20 00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:36,137 {\an8}- Okay, what the hell. - This is punching down. 21 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,515 {\an8}Denny's is a nice chain that gives people starchy food 22 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,016 {\an8}- when they're up late. - It's a hack joke, buddy. 23 00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:41,643 {\an8}No, this is the place. 24 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,062 {\an8}Good luck to both of you. I'm gonna get myself a slam. 25 00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:48,233 - He just wanted a ride, right? - He certainly took us for one. 26 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,944 {\an8}As long as we're here... 27 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,738 {\an8}Ok! Lumberjack Slam, Grand Slamwhich, 28 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:56,032 {\an8}Pancake Puppies, Slamburger, two milkshakes... 29 00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,575 {\an8}and an order of Cheddar Tots. 30 00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,744 {\an8}Let me know when you want your check, and if you're here for The Hole, 31 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,621 {\an8}- it's in the men's bathroom. - The what now? 32 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,998 {\an8}- Hole? - The Fear Hole. Men's bathroom. 33 00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:17,595 {\an8}Well, it's definitely a hole, they weren't lying about that. 34 00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:19,639 {\an8}Is that hair? Seaweed? 35 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,559 {\an8}Boy, it's really circling the whole rim. 36 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,936 {\an8}Guess you gotta jump in without touching the sides? 37 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,896 {\an8}You think there's spikes on the bottom? 38 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,982 {\an8}I don't think they want you to go in there and just die. 39 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,233 {\an8}What kind of business would that be? 40 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:33,403 {\an8}Well, they're not drowning in money. They still have a built-in TV/VCR. 41 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:37,073 - It's that carnival guy. - So he gets a kickback. 42 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:40,410 {\an8}Hi. Welcome to The Hole. Here's how it works: You jump in. 43 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:43,997 {\an8}The Hole manifests your greatest fear. You conquer that fear, and come out, 44 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,041 {\an8}well, fearless. And you get your picture on the wall! 45 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,418 {\an8}What does The Hole get out of it? 46 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:51,838 {\an8}Well, you know those fish that nibble dead skin off your feet? 47 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:55,758 {\an8}The Hole's kinda like that. It eats fear. You win. It wins. 48 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,385 {\an8}Have fun, and enjoy the Ho... 49 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,681 {\an8}Hey Gaddafi, cool your jets with a taste of Mountain Dew! 50 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,476 {\an8}This has been here since VHS tapes and there's only three photos? 51 00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:08,396 {\an8}- My tots are getting cold. - So you don't want to do it? 52 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,814 {\an8}- Do you? - I mean... 53 00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:12,066 It says it takes away your greatest fear. 54 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,402 My greatest fear, Morty, is trusting a gross hole 55 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:17,655 to conquer my fear, and I conquer that fear by walking away. 56 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:18,948 Okay, fine. 57 00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:22,327 You little turd! 58 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:28,583 - Oh God! - Oh God! 59 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,713 Hold still while i stuff you with maggots! 60 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,174 Rick! 61 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:39,719 Okay! The Hole thinks I'm scared of not having a gun? 62 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:43,932 Fear conquered! 63 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:49,687 Check out dem gains! Morty! Where are you, Morty? Let's go! 64 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,815 - Oh jeez! Oh god, oh jeez! - Man! We both shit our pants! 65 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,817 - Christ, Rick! My button. - What a fucking ride! 66 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:58,404 - Maggots in my button! - Fuck yeah, on the wall, motherfuckers! 67 00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,281 It's not worth it! Not worth it! 68 00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:05,954 Oh my god, you both reek. What is that? 69 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,205 Morty and I shit our pants. 70 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,540 You're looking at the two newest members of the Hole Club. 71 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,250 Okay, sluts. 72 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,503 What the hell? 73 00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:19,384 Bomb almost killed her. Take care of our wife. 74 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,180 Rick? No! Oh my God! No, no! 75 00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:27,600 - Mom? - Where am I? Who are you people? 76 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,019 You're my mom, but, you're young? 77 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:33,481 - Rick, what's happening?? - Wait. Rick? 78 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,275 What the fuck, Grandpa? Say something! 79 00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:39,237 - Okay, we're clearly still in the hole. - That's exactly what I was thinking. 80 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,321 We never left the hole and... 81 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,198 And part of the hole is thinking you left the hole and then 82 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,491 And then it can really dig into you. 83 00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:46,369 Because you can't really be scared of anything if you know you're 84 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,996 - Still in the hole! - Still in the hole! 85 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,455 What the fuck are you two talking about? 86 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,582 Why is dead Grandma alive in our living room? 87 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,251 Rick, why are you old? 88 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,293 All great questions. 89 00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:56,421 You guys get reacquainted while we grab some equipment. 90 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,882 Wait, are we sure this isn't, like, a double mislead? 91 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,135 A double mislead like we went into a generic fear hole 92 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,762 and then coincidentally came home to that? That's... 93 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,807 That's my wife. From the day I lost her. 94 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,517 Well, what's it got to do with me? 95 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:12,061 - Rick? - Right! 96 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,272 I think I figured it out, Morty. Your greatest fear, 97 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,399 is me getting Diane back and being happy again. 98 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:17,483 What? Why? 99 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,318 Because then I won't need you. Look how scared you're 100 00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:22,196 - getting just talking about it. - I'm not scared, I'm insulted. 101 00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:24,323 What kind of backhanded-ass theory is that? 102 00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:26,200 My greatest fear is you hooking up? 103 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,745 You're right, we can't know for sure until I get more data. 104 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,873 Alright family! Who wants to catch up over ice cream? 105 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:35,334 I knew he was working on teleportation. But... 106 00:05:35,334 --> 00:05:37,170 Wouldn't this be time travel? 107 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,422 Dad never touches time travel. 108 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,506 He calls it the Long... 109 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,592 Long Island Iced Tea of science fiction. 110 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,927 Yes, but then what is this? 111 00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,846 Don't worry about it, it's not real. Okay! 112 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,639 I figure it's better to do this in front of you, 113 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:51,934 I didn't want to walk in de-aged. What do you think, D? 45? Younger? 114 00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:55,063 I don't care about your age, Rick. I don't even want to call you that, 115 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:58,107 that's my husband's name, he just died. 116 00:05:58,107 --> 00:05:59,108 I know. 117 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,568 So, 27? 118 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:03,780 - Dad! You're traumatizing her. - What? It's my face, too. 119 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,158 And now Diane gets to understand that I'm still sexy and a genius. 120 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,326 What a kindness. 121 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:11,079 You were right, Rick, I'm really terrified right now. 122 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,331 Terrified of what? If you don't mind, 123 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,125 I'd like to get to know the adult version of my... 124 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,585 Oh my God! 125 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,504 Where's my real daughter? 126 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,505 Sweetie, it's all right. 127 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,883 This may as well be our real daughter, because she's just as real as you. 128 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,009 - What? - Put it this way. 129 00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:26,677 You're all basically NPCs. 130 00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:29,138 Only Morty and I are real, so your side quests don't matter. 131 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,141 - The main quest is... us. - You're disgusting. 132 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:35,103 You're talking about our baby girl like she's theoretical? 133 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,563 - Welcome to the family. - No, you don't get it, honey. 134 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,565 Even if this was real, she'd be only a version 135 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,567 of your daughter who could also be a clone of your daughter. 136 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,862 Stop wearing my husband's face! You're nothing like him! 137 00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:48,157 - Because I lost you! - Maybe you didn't deserve me! 138 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:54,956 You want to hear a new theory? 139 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:59,919 Maybe your greatest fear is getting a second chance with her and blowing it. 140 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,046 You don't think that fear is been pretty well faced? 141 00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:06,217 Then you haven't conquered it. Or accepted it. Or something. 142 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,927 "Or something?" I'm not a fearologist! 143 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,720 Morty, all rom-coms have an arc. 144 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,265 Even You've Got Mail begins with Tom Hanks killing that cop. 145 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,266 - Really? - I don't know! 146 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,892 I'm not going to fucking watch You've Got Mail. 147 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:17,562 I'm doing this for you, Morty. The sooner I get her back, 148 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,731 the sooner you can conquer your fear of being a useless, lonely turd. 149 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,025 You don't think that's been faced? 150 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,491 Hello Diane, here's the song I rehearsed. 151 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,077 You had a bad day and Rick made it worse. 152 00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:38,332 He felt bad, so he created me. I deliver you waffles and an apology. 153 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,085 Why do I have memories of being a human child? 154 00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,378 - Why would I need... - Shit! 155 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:43,588 Goddammit! 156 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:46,424 There was a whole second verse about inviting you to the zoo with the family. 157 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,135 I've seen that robot's arms. 158 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:52,305 I used them on a law enforcement drone that the Feds had me build. 159 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,306 It's how we... 160 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,224 How I met my wife. 161 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:57,810 The zoo sounds nice. 162 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,438 And this one time, we raised a civilization living 163 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:03,649 on a zit on my face, and Grandpa helped me rule over it as queen. 164 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,860 It sounds like you guys are a real family now. 165 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,154 I wish you could've been part of it, Mom. 166 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,282 - Oh, honey! - Rick! 167 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,201 Is there a deadline on this theory you're chasing? 168 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:17,496 Yeah, sure! That's a good idea, Morty. Do that. 169 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,210 I always wished I knew what they were saying. 170 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,420 Your Master's thesis. Nonhuman Intelligence. 171 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,963 When did you read that? 172 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,215 After you were gone. 173 00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:28,925 It helped me develop this. 174 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,053 Fuck you! Fuck you, Greg! 175 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,512 - Fuck you, Lisa! Bread. - No! 176 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,972 - Fuck you! - Fuck you! There's bread. 177 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:37,808 - I guess that's what I expected? - Anticlimactic isn't it. 178 00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,852 They kinda suck. 179 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,273 Wanna grab a drink? 180 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,526 Yeah, alright! 181 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,582 When did you stop being a lightweight? 182 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,751 Kept looking for my wife at the bottom of a bottle. 183 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,086 You're pathetic. 184 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,838 Hey! To being pathetic. 185 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,136 Clear! 186 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,356 My turn, my turn. 187 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:34,115 I'll tell you what, Old Man. Seems like losing me made you cooler. 188 00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,409 I should die more often. 189 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,452 You did. 190 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,289 You died everywhere forever. 191 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:43,708 You're the only thing I can't replace. 192 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:48,045 Okay, okay, Mr. Weepy. I'm not even real, remember? 193 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,840 Nothing's real, that's your jam, right? 194 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,384 My grandson... our grandson... 195 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:56,387 thinks this is happening because my greatest fear is letting you go. 196 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,222 - Then don't. - I don't want to. 197 00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,850 - Then kiss me. - I'm old and we have puke mouth. 198 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,019 Well, I'm not here and it's not real puke. 199 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,404 Okay, Rick! Dude... 200 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,864 Fuck you Morty, it's a blazer. 201 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,532 That's not what I meant. You look sick. 202 00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:19,869 - The hole is feeding on you. - I thought it's supposed to eat my fear. 203 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,412 Can we get some fucking rules up in this hole? 204 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,414 I don't know the rules! Maybe you're just dying 205 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,832 because you've been in here too long! 206 00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:27,710 Interesting theory. I wonder why you're so rosy-cheeked. 207 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,627 What are you saying? 208 00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:30,921 Maybe the real you is off somewhere running from spiders. 209 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,256 So now I'm not real? 210 00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:35,259 Maybe my greatest fear is having to tell you to fuck the fuck off. 211 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,053 - Go ahead and face it! - Fuck the fuck off! 212 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:41,015 - Ready to Showbiz Pizza? - Lemme see that bear play banjo! 213 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,976 Here's one for ya. I'm afraid of watching you die. 214 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,312 I like that theory, Morty. So stop watching. 215 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:53,486 Okay, this is it. You nailed it. My worst nightmare. 216 00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,363 I'd like to leave The Hole now. 217 00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:59,742 Hey, Hole, I'm talking to you. Are you listening? 218 00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,379 So, what are you, like, the Hole? 219 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,547 The Hole's promoter? The Hole's intern? 220 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:14,673 Is there a hole here? 221 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:18,552 Right! I'm supposed to go in there and be shocked that there's no hole, 222 00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:21,138 or that there is a hole? What difference would it make? 223 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,265 You are hard to scare. 224 00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,642 And Rick isn't, right? 225 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,936 The Hole's gonna, like, suck on him forever 226 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,688 because his big secret is that he's got the most fear? 227 00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:32,024 Well, we can certainly say you're not afraid to be reductive. 228 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,903 I doubt your grandpa has "more" fear than the average asshole in a Denny's. 229 00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:36,987 - Hey. - Sorry! 230 00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:40,574 If anything, he seems pretty brave. He's certainly not afraid to die. 231 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,076 Maybe that makes his fear extra... 232 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,744 delicious. 233 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,332 So, what, he's scared of love? 234 00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:51,210 Everyone's scared of love, dipshit. You'll learn that in your twenties. 235 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,338 It takes a very rare, very powerful being to be 236 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,340 terrified of happiness. 237 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,633 - Dumb. - You're dumb. 238 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,093 That's why you're not scared to be happy. 239 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,886 The smarter you are, the more you know. 240 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:03,389 Happiness is a trap. It can't last forever. 241 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,266 Let's say you meet the love of your life, 242 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,685 well, it's still gonna end... It's inevitable! 243 00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:10,062 Whether by the slow pull of a disease, 244 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,273 or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail. 245 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,567 whether it be the corrosion of two personalities 246 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,819 that reshape each other until they're incompatible, 247 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,280 or maybe the old stranger in a bar who says the things 248 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,199 that need to be said, to that person, that night. 249 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:26,162 The point is... Happiness always ends. 250 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,289 Best case scenario, think about this. Best case. 251 00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:31,500 Is that you die at the same time. 252 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,545 - Yikes. - Can't the Hole just let me go then? 253 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:35,713 Sounds like I don't matter. 254 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,549 You don't. But if you go, you'll take him away. Don't worry. 255 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,885 Rick will die before accepting happiness. 256 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,095 After that, we'll chase you with some clowns 257 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,555 or some dumb shit like that. 258 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:48,309 But Grandpa... Grandpa's gonna die. 259 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,728 Just like Diane. 260 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,446 Sir, you've been in this booth for a really long time, 261 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,198 - one coffee isn't gonna cut it. - That's fair. 262 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,492 - Wanna split some pancake puppies? - No! 263 00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,370 Beth? Summer? Anyone! 264 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:10,414 Dad, it's not real. Neither are you. 265 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,416 If that's true, then you deal with it! 266 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,710 You know what, you're right. 267 00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:18,380 How about this? 268 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:21,300 - Morty! What are you doing? - Being scared! 269 00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,848 How is that not enough fear? 270 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,600 You're the one scaring me, Morty! 271 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,893 No, Dad, it's okay! 272 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,270 It's not okay! That wasn't normal! 273 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:38,526 My greatest fear is not being accepted. 274 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:39,735 It should be! 275 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,946 And you need to fear it a hell of a lot more! 276 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,281 I can do that. 277 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:45,407 You like that? 278 00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:46,867 Do you want to die? 279 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:49,995 I have enough unaddressed trauma to flood this hallway. 280 00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:54,375 You fucking idiot, this list says Top Five Things 281 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,668 and you only wrote down four. 282 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,092 Trust fall! 283 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:06,470 None of us touch or speak to this kid ever. 284 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,224 Maybe take a picture, send it to your friends? 285 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,225 Not a bad idea. 286 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,812 How can we do the school play if Johnny has laryngitis? 287 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:17,356 - There's no understudy! - Put me in the play. 288 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,358 - You don't know the lines. - Yes I do. 289 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,444 Three Days of Rain? I have it memorized. 290 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,405 And I refuse to prove that until you cast me. 291 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:27,074 Have it your way, but The New York Times is coming, 292 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:30,327 and they're doing a feature on the current state of young American theater. 293 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:33,497 Perfect. 294 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:36,792 - It ended in a church? What? - Yeah! 295 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,420 They'd already died it was purgatory or something. 296 00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,255 How did your universe's version end? 297 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:44,758 Jack, Locke and Sawyer teamed up to kill a fog monster and everyone got rescued. 298 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,219 It was one season long and it was perfect television. 299 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,888 You can be great or you can be around forever, right? 300 00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:53,142 True. 301 00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,477 - True. - Where's this going? 302 00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,104 - True. - We doing robot roleplay? 303 00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,397 - True. - I've got oil at home. 304 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,524 - True. - What was that? Diane! 305 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:01,483 Diane? 306 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,236 - Diane. - Stay with me! Diane? 307 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,779 Rick? What's happening? 308 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:08,574 Fucking Morty! He's trying to hog the hole. C'mon! 309 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:19,335 Alas, our father is dead. 310 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,004 Walker, are you here? 311 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:32,056 I'm Walker. Sure has been raining a lot of days. 312 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,683 What the fuck is he doing? 313 00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:36,644 What's wrong with him? 314 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,897 He's naked. And why does he look sick? 315 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:42,358 Because he's dying. 316 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,944 Fuck. I gotta get him out of here. 317 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,072 But if I do, I might have to go with him. 318 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,617 I don't want to. I don't want to, Diane. 319 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,577 I think my greatest fear is letting you go. 320 00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:56,205 That's a good fear, Rick. Keep that fear. 321 00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,083 If you don't, you'll kill me. Again. 322 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,086 I know. But I don't have to kill Morty too. 323 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,547 How do you know he's even real? Look at his weird little balls. 324 00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:08,092 Goodbye, Diane. 325 00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,263 - Rick...? - Shut up Morty. 326 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,974 DJ, drop that beat, we gotta conquer a fear! 327 00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,938 This is my grandson don't look at his pee-pee 328 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,565 stead of staring at Morty put your eyes on me 329 00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:26,235 I'm a roped-out freak loose dog in my ass 330 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:29,071 macaroni in my pocket Rickity masterclass. 331 00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,657 I don't know how to rap I don't know how to rhyme 332 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:34,284 i don't know how to rap now eat my shit! 333 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,745 Incredible. 334 00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:39,581 Now throw your hands up! And put your hands down. 335 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,000 Throw your hands up! Now put them back down! 336 00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:45,254 Three days of rain! 337 00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:50,134 That was an astounding feat of personal bravery. 338 00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:53,220 Nudity always makes theater serious and good. 339 00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:54,930 How do you feel? 340 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,515 Accepted. You? 341 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,516 Pathetic. 342 00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,393 But... Happy? 343 00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:16,160 We did it! We conquered our fears. Right? 344 00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:23,292 Rick! You just looked real sad, which I'm afraid of. 345 00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:27,504 You know, of being responsible for your sadness. 346 00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:30,716 Which means, I think, we might still be in The Hole. 347 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:34,887 Well, I am definitely afraid of you ever knowing anything before me. 348 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,514 So, I'd say there's a 100% chance that we're still... 349 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,810 God damn it. Is this going to be a whole thing? 350 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:42,895 No wordplay, Morty. 351 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,355 We have to figure out our actual fears if we're ever going to get out of here. 352 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,899 - Actual fears? - Yeah! 353 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,567 Tell me your fucking fear so we can conquer it. 354 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:52,279 I just had to crucify myself in order to save you from your Hole Wife, 355 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,865 and you think I'm the one with unresolved fears? 356 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,658 I oughta be afraid that we'll never get out, 357 00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:58,368 because you'll never admit that you're afraid! 358 00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,957 Okay. Good job. You conquered it, right? 359 00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:06,668 I think so? How are we supposed to know? 360 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,587 No, this is real, I can tell. 361 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,839 You're not afraid that you could be certain about something 362 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,382 and still turn out to be wrong? 363 00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,428 - You cowardly asshole! - How was I supposed to know? 364 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,266 Eight dollars for a side of bacon? 365 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,060 Are you fucking kidding me? 366 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,978 It's a symptom of a larger concern, Morty. 367 00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,231 - If capitalism collapses... - Are we done here? 368 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:30,317 I don't know. Aren't you a little afraid at this point of The Hole itself? 369 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:31,318 What? 370 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:33,695 I swear to God! If we're still climbing out 371 00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,531 of this fucking Hole two seasons from now. 372 00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,115 - Maybe that was it. - What? 373 00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:40,285 Maybe we needed to let go of our fear of uncertainty. You know? 374 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:41,954 Right. 375 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,081 I'd say we're pretty native to that at this point. 376 00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:46,041 - Okay thank you, Hole! - Thank you, Hole! 377 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:49,419 We no longer need to know if we're in you! So Bye! 378 00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:58,929 Are you afraid we're still in it? 379 00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:01,473 I mean, I hope we're not, but if we are... 380 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,851 - We'll find out eventually. - Which no longer scares me. 381 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,061 Same. Okay. I'm gonna go get drunk. 382 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:13,902 Move on they say, you'll feel better with time. 383 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:18,824 But time alone can't heal This heart of mine. 384 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:26,582 You can't go back, That's the only rule, 385 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:31,670 But rules were meant to break when it comes to you. 386 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:39,469 I saw time and time, Slip by when I withdrew, 387 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:44,808 I wandered far and wide, Without you. 388 00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:47,853 Without you. 389 00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:05,078 So I bury my dead, And I try to start again, 390 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:10,125 But it will never be the same As it was back then. 391 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:17,841 I've seen time and time, Slip by, but I'll make do, 392 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:21,678 -‘Cause I won't live my life... - Oh my God, I've turned into my dad! 393 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,808 Maybe there's no way out. Maybe we were born here. 394 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,646 - C'mon. We're gonna get through this. - I'm staying here. 395 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,190 No. We're Rick and Morty. I'm not leaving without you. 396 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:35,108 What did you say? 397 00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:37,945 I said I'm not leaving you in here. Come on. You're irreplaceable. 398 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,240 - What? - Oh my god. 399 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,742 I know what I'm afraid of. 400 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,370 I'm afraid you'd never say that in real life. 401 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,372 I'm afraid that if I jumped into a hole, 402 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,457 you wouldn't even bother jumping in after me. 403 00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:54,294 You'd just stand there and watch. This entire thing has been about me. 404 00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:57,756 You're not even in the hole, are you? 405 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,009 Thank you for visiting the Fear Hole, Morty. 406 00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:04,471 Your fear of relying on Ric has been delicious. 407 00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:06,974 Dear God! 408 00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:11,561 Morty! How was it? Was it spiders? 409 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:15,315 Oh jeez. Oh my god, no. You... 410 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,777 - You didn't go in at all? - No, it's a one-person ride. 411 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,904 You can't face two fears at the same time. 412 00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:22,948 If my fear was fire and yours was water... 413 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,366 I get it. It's fine. 414 00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:28,161 It really is fine. 415 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:30,789 You do seem a little less burdened. 416 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,625 Rick, am I irreplaceable? 417 00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:37,170 - I mean, define "irreplaceable". - That's good. Good. 418 00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:39,840 I'm back. 419 00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:43,010 Don't! Or I won't know if I'm out! 420 00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,886 - Is it that good? Should I go in? - No. 421 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,346 You holding out on me? 422 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,849 You don't want to deal with it, Rick. 423 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:52,227 There was messed-up mental shit in there. Like, Diane was in there. 424 00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:53,520 - What? - Not in a good way. 425 00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:54,896 Just trust me. 426 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:57,691 Okay, buddy. Let's go slam some pancakes. 427 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:51,036 How bout that? Season 7! 428 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:53,246 It was touch and go there for a second. 429 00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:58,126 Remember when I stole my kid? I stole one of these too! 430 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:06,635 It's all about having a goal and stopping at nothing to achieve it! 431 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,554 Then you'll be fulfilled!