1
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:09,175
Oh, Rick...
2
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:13,096
You were right, Morty.
3
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:18,227
Chili... was too... spicy.
4
00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:30,238
Estate sale is open!
5
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,281
Get your Post-its out.
First come, first serve.
6
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:35,201
If you see a Post-it,
the item has already been claimed.
7
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:36,702
- Oh, yeah.
- Alright.
8
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,538
Hey, nice office chair.
9
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,289
Hatchi-matchi.
10
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,749
Pretty ghoulish, don't you think?
11
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,417
We just get to take anything we want?
12
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:46,128
Morty, they're dead. You wanna be
buried with your porn magazines?
13
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,505
Magazines?
14
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,465
What's a "magazines," old man?
15
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,010
Fuck you, Morty.
Go practice your pronouns.
16
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:55,680
Whoa! An in-ground
two-post vehicle lift?
17
00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:58,099
You could park a motorcycle
on this bad boy
18
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,601
and rotate it any which way.
19
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:01,936
- I put my Post-it on it first.
- Stop!
20
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,938
- No, no, I did!
- I come from a water planet.
21
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,190
- I should get the snorkel.
- If you're from a water planet,
22
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,609
why do you need a snorkel?
23
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,407
These estate sales
are lame AF, am I right?
24
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,409
- Yeah.
- I came to funeral hop,
25
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,995
but there aren't any Smiths left
to hold a funeral.
26
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,580
Wait, funeral hop?
27
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,958
Oh, shit. You gotta try it, dude.
28
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,794
Some version of your mom,
your dad, bawling their eyes out
29
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,088
and saying the nicest shit
you've ever heard.
30
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,798
But can't happen
when the whole family
31
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,091
checks out at the same time.
32
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,343
Your Rick brings you
to your own funerals?
33
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,596
Nah, dawg, I drive myself.
34
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,348
- Whoa.
- You don't got a Portal Jr.?
35
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,017
Shit. Bunch of us have one.
36
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,644
Let's see, I bet...
37
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:47,565
Bam. Pop a Post-it on that bad boy
before someone else does.
38
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:50,234
Thanks. And cool sunglasses.
39
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,986
Sunglasses?
40
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,238
These are my eyes.
41
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,999
Rick, you ever gone
to your own funeral?
42
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,584
Is that new slang for taking a dump?
43
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,586
- What? No.
- Well, I'm gonna start using it.
44
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:11,339
Look, a Morty at the estate sale
was a funeral hopper, and--
45
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,424
You can do better
than getting emotional hand jobs
46
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,508
from a fake family.
47
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,926
My real family is dead.
48
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,803
Wow, what a zing. So is mine.
49
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,097
The only thing that helps ease
the horror of existence
50
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,016
is friction-free rotation.
51
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:25,061
Did you buy a motorcycle
to justify the platform?
52
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,771
Morty, it turns.
53
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:28,898
Come on, man,
I'm asking for guidance.
54
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,984
Do whatever you want.
It's your funeral.
55
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,834
Thank you.
56
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,421
Big Legs Morty loved Ritchie Valens.
57
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:55,841
And now his Big Legs Grandfather
is gonna say a few words.
58
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,511
What?! Let me grieve!
59
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,929
You've been drunk all week.
60
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:03,182
Maybe if you had been sober,
you wouldn't have microwaved him.
61
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,643
His big legs were wet!
62
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:07,019
I should have guessed.
63
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,729
Wait! Big Legs Morty,
64
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,608
I should have done this
when you were alive.
65
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,113
Oh, hell yeah!
66
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:58,988
Well, I guess this is gonna be hard,
67
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,823
but Mort loved to do hard things.
68
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,201
So... we're gonna do this for him.
69
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,621
How many of you here loved my son?
70
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:08,873
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
71
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,624
- Yeah!
- I asked...
72
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,171
how many of you here loved my son?!
73
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:16,922
Morty was my dawg!
74
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,884
Maybe you loved him
because he was a leader,
75
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:22,596
a scholar, an athlete.
76
00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:26,432
I loved him because he was mine.
77
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,392
Because he was my son.
78
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,685
We love you, Mort!
79
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,520
Mort! Mort! Mort! Mort!
80
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:36,443
When I die, I will kill God
for taking my boy!
81
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:40,196
I don't approve of your promise,
82
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,448
but I understand.
83
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:47,078
Who will be there for me
now that you're gone?
84
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,291
- Chesterfield?
- Oh, oh! No, no, no, no, no, no!
85
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,711
Oh! Stop! Stop!
86
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:56,588
Mort?
87
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,215
Oh no.
88
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,426
You guys have never seen
another Morty before.
89
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:05,971
Does that make sense?
90
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,515
Shortest version is,
91
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,850
infinite mes, infinite yous.
92
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,060
You want a grilled cheese?
93
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,520
I want to make it for him.
94
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:13,646
And this thing?
95
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,065
It's how I got here.
Rick made it for me.
96
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:19,068
Not my Rick. It's a lot of canon.
97
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,694
Where is Rick?
98
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,240
I'm sorry to tell you this, but...
99
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,866
our Rick...
100
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,785
is a drunk, Morty.
101
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,955
Oh... no.
102
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,623
We had to end
our relationship with him.
103
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:33,833
We tried everything to help,
104
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,876
but ultimately,
he needed to help himself.
105
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,837
And he, like, listened?
106
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,296
This universe is wild.
107
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,590
Just the way you like it.
108
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,134
Wow! So good.
109
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,886
Don't suppose
there's any tomato soup.
110
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,012
Holy shit!
111
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,556
You guys are something else.
112
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:49,975
You should have met our Mort.
113
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,394
Ray, like it or not,
114
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,145
the bank's gonna take your farm.
115
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,856
They will come, Ray.
116
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,232
Huh? Oh my gosh.
117
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,234
My family's probably worried.
118
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,736
- My other family.
- You're leaving?
119
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,613
Summer, he's not ours to keep.
120
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:05,990
I understand, Mort.
121
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,450
I mean, Morty.
122
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,744
Come back to us, kiddo.
123
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,914
Whenever you want, you come back.
124
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,629
Summer, stop live-streaming!
125
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,178
Where have you been? I've needed you
to hand me wrenches and stuff.
126
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,763
Check this out.
127
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,181
Wow, great.
128
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,058
Huh? Ah! Oh, Rick!
129
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,602
It's pulling my insides!
130
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,438
You have too much metal
in you, dipshit.
131
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,774
- I didn't put it there.
- So?
132
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,075
- Oh, hey!
- Hey!
133
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,452
Morty, you came back!
134
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,746
Oh, geez. Good boy.
135
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,623
That's a dog for ya.
136
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,249
My dog enslaved me,
137
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,460
but not this one.
138
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,295
So I'm hanging out of the side
of the ship in space,
139
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:02,796
holding the guitar that Rick wanted,
140
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,757
but my eyes burst
from the pressure difference
141
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,508
and I couldn't see
for, like, an hour.
142
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,594
Oh, Morty,
you could have been killed.
143
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,472
Oh, yeah, I was.
144
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:14,058
You died? You die, and come back?
145
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,851
The worst part
is waking up in the tube,
146
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,311
where the fresh body is
147
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:20,022
'cause you have to cough
all that fluid out of your lungs.
148
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,066
You're saying where you come from,
149
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:26,445
your grandfather lets you die
over and over again?
150
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,739
What does your father say about this?
151
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,783
Who's a Mad Men?
152
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,994
I'm a Mad Men
153
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:40,459
Oh my God! I made an owl.
This is incredible!
154
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,003
Too bad my big lathe
is up at the cabin.
155
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,630
Built it with my dad.
156
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,800
Then Mort helped me put up
the sleeping porch just last summer.
157
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,635
Wish we could take you there
this weekend,
158
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,012
but the gals are gonna be
at the soup kitchen and--
159
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:55,557
I mean, we could head up there,
just the two of us?
160
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,811
Really? You'd want to do that?
161
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,404
Don't you have any matches?
162
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,155
A man who relies on matches
163
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,617
gets pretty cold when he runs out.
164
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,995
You feel like a steak?
165
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,208
Wait till the pan releases the meat.
166
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,925
I feel like I've never learned
anything until now.
167
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:33,637
And Mort, he's climbing so fast.
168
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:37,349
When he loses his footing,
he's just silent as he falls
169
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,811
until the crack of his body
hitting stone.
170
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,355
Mort was so strong,
171
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,441
but I wasn't strong enough
to save him.
172
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,443
I'm so sorry.
173
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,778
I know you're not my Mort,
174
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,114
not really...
175
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,992
but I love you just the same.
176
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,369
I love you, Dad.
177
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,246
I wanna be your son.
178
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,291
I am your son.
179
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,047
Then break the gun.
180
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,049
- What?
- This isn't one of your adventures.
181
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,967
It can be your life.
182
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,470
- But what if I need to--
- What could you need that isn't here?
183
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,346
A family that doesn't appreciate you?
184
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:19,058
A resurrection machine
that makes infinite grandpas?
185
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,477
You need to turn
into a fucking giraffe?
186
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:22,479
Do it!
187
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,690
Hey!
188
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,236
- Oh my God!
- Yes! I love you!
189
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,864
I tried to make my son strong.
190
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:36,117
So strong he would never die!
191
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,087
I just wanna keep you safe!
192
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,215
Mort? Mort.
193
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,008
Mort?
194
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,219
Mort!
195
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,513
Come back.
196
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,228
Dad wants me to free solo El Capitan.
197
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:05,354
He's crazy.
198
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,065
He wants me to be able
to survive anything.
199
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,150
My only hope's to run away.
200
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,277
Thank you, Mort.
201
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,395
And we're left
with a radical non-duality.
202
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,564
The universe is not locally real.
203
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,108
Which means nothing matters.
204
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:54,945
Or... everything does!
205
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,532
Moral universe, let's go!
206
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,783
I fucking knew it.
207
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,286
The Central Finite Curve,
portal travel, all of it.
208
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,204
Of course there's infinite Mortys
209
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,373
because there's
infinite worlds, Morty,
210
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,041
and infinite mes!
211
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,836
Am I cool in most worlds?
212
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,879
- Oh!
- Mr. Sanchez?
213
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,006
Oh, sorry I frighten you.
214
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,258
I am from Russia.
215
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,010
Who is hunting you?
216
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,137
Jerry? I don't know.
Maybe all of them?
217
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,555
I just wanna go home.
218
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:25,475
I thought there was a better version
of my family for me, but I was wrong.
219
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,186
Do you think you could make this?
220
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,646
Oh, Morty, I would love to help you,
221
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,982
but that thing almost destroyed me.
222
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,235
Salieri to infinite Mozarts.
223
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,279
Do you guys not have Mozart?
224
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,615
Oh, Morty, we gotta watch Amadeus.
225
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,867
Shit. I'm late. I gotta do a thing.
226
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,204
Do you wanna come with me?
227
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,414
Hey. Hey, everybody.
228
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,333
My name's Rick. I'm an alcoholic.
229
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,542
- Hi, Rick.
- Hi, Rick.
230
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,336
I know this is an old story
to a lot of you,
231
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,546
but most of us have destroyed
our memories with alcohol,
232
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,715
so it'll be like new.
233
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:59,176
Back before, I had a wife,
I had a family.
234
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,428
My daughter, Beth, she was a terror,
235
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,765
but she was my heart, my whole heart.
236
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,391
I'd always like to get wrecked
every now and again,
237
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,352
but Diane kept it under control.
238
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:11,438
And then one day,
she was just... gone.
239
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,690
I was so deep in my work,
I barely noticed.
240
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:14,942
And that's when--
241
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,569
You know how that feels
when you really start to drink?
242
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,488
- Oh yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
243
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,989
Beth was so little.
244
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,325
I blew it with her.
245
00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:26,119
She grew up though, and married
somebody who took one look at me
246
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,788
and said, "Not in my house."
247
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,874
Fuck, I hate that guy.
But he was right.
248
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,669
I hated him enough to end up here.
249
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,671
My first meeting was 17 years ago.
250
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,216
Seventeen years since I spoke
to my daughter.
251
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,093
But I'm here and I'm happy.
252
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,262
That's possible for all of us.
253
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,848
You just have to find somebody
who believes in you.
254
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:51,687
My students were assholes today,
so I'm cooking stew.
255
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,063
Oh, hello.
256
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:54,273
Who's this handsome fellow?
257
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,399
You might wanna sit down.
258
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,276
Oh, Rick.
259
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,987
He has your eyes.
260
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,405
So you must go home,
261
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:03,740
and you must find a way
to get him there.
262
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,200
It's not that simple.
263
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:08,370
But you are a good man,
so maybe it is simple.
264
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,913
Morty, will you have more stew?
265
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,998
Yes, please.
266
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,874
My love, don't forget.
267
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,252
- Wow, she's--
- She's incredible.
268
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,212
So she's a fuckbot?
269
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,464
Jesus Christ, Morty, she's my wife!
270
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,591
- She's a human woman.
- Oh, geez.
271
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,429
I guess I didn't realize
you could love anything. My bad.
272
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,681
Have you seen this boy?
273
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:29,349
Ah, we see a lot of people
through here.
274
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,976
One time, I saw a horse buy a ticket.
275
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,686
Some kind of promotion
for a kind of horse food.
276
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:34,479
Don't know about that, but--
Oh, you never forget a face
277
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,731
as sweet as that right there.
278
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,316
Oh, yeah.
I seen him headed to Boston.
279
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,026
Sure as sunlight
and right as rain, I--
280
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,361
Hey, where you going?
281
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:42,739
Found him.
282
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,784
I'm gonna love
that little guy so hard.
283
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:48,952
You okay, buddy?
284
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,704
He's gonna find me
and tie me to a pole
285
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:52,165
and hug me until I throw up.
286
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,584
I'll be trapped here forever!
287
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:56,877
I'll get you home, okay?
288
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:59,005
I'll make a portal and get you home.
289
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:03,300
Are you gonna call me
a piece of shit now?
290
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:04,302
What?
291
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,519
- Eh?
- Oh!
292
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:29,868
Fucking shit.
293
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,662
You'll get it. You've got this.
294
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,070
I know you're gonna get it.
295
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,864
If God doesn't want me
to praise him with inventions,
296
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:09,699
why implant the desire?
297
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,745
- Everything okay out here?
- Fuck! Just let me work.
298
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,833
She's gonna leave.
299
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,292
They all leave.
300
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,753
You know,
you didn't drive Diane away.
301
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,964
It wasn't your work or your drinking.
302
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:25,715
It just happened, everywhere.
303
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,050
To every Rick.
304
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,844
- Wha--
- It wasn't your fault.
305
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:31,304
Most Ricks never got this far
with portal stuff.
306
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,889
They took a shortcut.
307
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,684
But I believe in you.
308
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,769
I can feel it, Uli. I'm so close.
309
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,688
Yeah, close to losing another wife!
310
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,065
I've become tepid. I want to boil!
311
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,316
You can sleep on the couch.
312
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,652
I'm done sleeping.
313
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:49,531
This is what yours is like?
314
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:51,408
It's the only way I can get home.
315
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,577
Where on God's Earth
did a 14-year-old boy
316
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,370
learn this kind of mind poisoning?
317
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,873
From your husband, infinitely.
318
00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:59,750
He belongs more to me than to you.
319
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,799
Professor Sanchez
hasn't shown up for days.
320
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,927
Well, he's my father,
and I'm worried about him.
321
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,095
We just need his address.
322
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,973
You don't have
your own father's address?
323
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,766
I was just asking a question.
324
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,895
You're right. It's personal.
325
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,229
Summer, the files.
326
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,940
I'm in. Also gonna approve myself
for early admission,
327
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,526
just in case I decide to go
to this fucking nerd school.
328
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:29,488
I'm gonna get my boy
and put him on a leash.
329
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,615
A leash? What's up with your family?
330
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,910
Oh, you're right, it's personal.
331
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,913
Morty. I figured it out, Morty.
332
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:40,207
Morty, come on, we're gonna--
we're gonna--
333
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,626
gonna get some stuff, Morty.
334
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,797
Rick, it's the middle of the night.
335
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:54,721
Come on, I'm working.
336
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,848
It's helping me think.
337
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,850
Do you wanna go talk to her?
338
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,602
Fuck that. She's--
339
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:03,813
There's a multiverse of her
out there, right, Morty?
340
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,358
We gotta-- we gotta...
341
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,527
Are you gonna get in trouble?
342
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,154
I got tenure, Morty.
They can't fire me.
343
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:14,449
I built this place with my dick
and hammered it with my balls.
344
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,201
Wouldn't a dick be a better hammer?
345
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,203
You're right, Morty.
Balls are too soft.
346
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,330
Grab some-- Anything.
347
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,500
- Grab anything.
- Mr. Sanchez. Is that--
348
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:26,753
Oh my God, Rick.
349
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,213
The problem is morals, Morty.
350
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,799
Ethics. I was scared
of the gray areas.
351
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,051
But now...
352
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,053
I can live in them.
353
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,346
I'm gonna get you home.
354
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,223
You small, little...
355
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,559
You little guy.
356
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:45,398
Hej då, Rick.
357
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:49,442
They told me I was crazy.
But now, now who's crazy?
358
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,320
- They are!
- That's right!
359
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,031
- Rick!
- I did it!
360
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,287
Oh, man. I'm gonna miss you, Rick.
361
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,997
I can come visit you, Morty.
362
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,582
We got a doorway!
363
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,916
And now that
I don't have a dumb wife,
364
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,251
I have all the time in the world.
365
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:07,877
I can go on adventures, Morty.
366
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:09,504
We! We could go on adventures.
367
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:13,049
Yeah. You're sure
I didn't ruin your life?
368
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,301
You saved me.
369
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,552
And so did this.
370
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,262
Because alcohol is good, Morty.
371
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,389
It's not evil.
Everyone should drink it.
372
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,600
Wait till I tell the guys at AA.
373
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,684
All right, off you go.
374
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,936
Let go of my son!
375
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,313
Fucking Jerry!
376
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:27,897
Morty, please don't go in there.
377
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:30,275
We didn't mean to come on so strong.
We just love you.
378
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,610
Honey, you can stay here
379
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,737
where you don't get thrown into space
380
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,988
and have to die all the time.
381
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,281
What the hell is this thing?
382
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,575
Have you even tested it?
You're drunk!
383
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,493
You're gonna let a child
go through that?
384
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,580
The science is sound, dick. Watch.
385
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,461
- He's still breathing.
- That's worse!
386
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,548
I've always fucking hated you!
387
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,968
I hate you
in every conceivable reality.
388
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,220
- Kill him!
- Fucking shoot!
389
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,017
Oh my God!
390
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:06,979
Jerry!
391
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,732
Oh my God!
392
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,360
Summer!
393
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,198
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
394
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:26,957
No!
395
00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,980
Estate sale is open!
396
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:53,316
Get your Post-its out.
First come, first serve.
397
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,860
If you see a Post-it,
the item has already been claimed.
398
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,279
Check it out, Seahorse Morty,
it's a fish gun.
399
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,448
This guy had some cool stuff
for a basic Rick,
400
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:03,285
and I would know because
I'm defined by my cool shorts.
401
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,621
Oh, Jesus Christ.
402
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:07,956
- Rick?
- 'Sup?
403
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,917
None of this stuff is any good.
Let's go home.
404
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,585
Damn, you look like shit.
405
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,088
Was the funeral that good?
406
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,591
Oh shit, a long-neck dog gun?
407
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,010
Let's fucking go!
408
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,765
Woof, woof, woof, woof
woof, woof, woof!
409
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,351
Hey. You okay?
410
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,562
Yeah. I love you.
411
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,355
All right. No need to get weird.
412
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:33,607
You're in my sun.
413
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:38,069
So the hat was not a hit today.
414
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:42,992
But maybe it will be tomorrow
415
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,041
Morty, Morty, Morty,
416
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,043
I gotta show you--
I gotta show you something, Morty.
417
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:56,588
Rick, it's the middle of the night.
I just wanna sleep.
418
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,674
I'll call in a bomb threat
at your school. Come on.
419
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,760
Hey, I took your note, Morty.
420
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,095
I fixed the magnets.
You ready to ride?
421
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,932
Let's go on a hero's journey, Morty!
422
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,809
- Take the wheel.
- But I'm behind you.
423
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,770
Take the wheel.
I'll tell you when to turn.
424
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,272
I'm like-- I'm your dad, Morty.
425
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,940
I'm your fucking dad.
426
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:17,609
It's fucking me, Morty!
427
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,360
Yeah, you're my dad.
428
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:20,570
I'm your son.
429
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:22,364
You're my son!
430
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:56,815
DNA scans clear.
431
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,358
Ooh-wee!
432
00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,567
What a season.
433
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,986
Amy figured out what I was up to,
434
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,905
and now she's gonna use my DNA
435
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:06,199
to make a multiverse waypoint--
436
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,618
And get my fucking husband back!
437
00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:11,330
Activate fourth-dimensional
thrusters!
438
00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:20,588
I assume all the shaking
is unintentional?
439
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:21,965
Oh my God!
440
00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:23,175
Abort! Abort!
441
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:26,386
That's never good.
442
00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:28,264
Ooh-wee!
443
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:34,728
Did you get any of that?