1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:04,138
Rick: Anyway, that's how I
escaped from space prison!

2
00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:05,406
Oh, scary place.

3
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,975
Wow, Rick! That's -- That's
one -- one heck of a story.

4
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,144
I sure do wish I could have been
there to see it happen.
Oh, come on.

5
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:13,081
Who wants to watch
a mad scientist use
handmade sci-fi tools

6
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,049
to take out highly trained
alien guards

7
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:17,085
when we can sit here
and be a family at Shoney's?

8
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,987
Dad, it's great to have you
back, no matter where we are,

9
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,689
but wouldn't you like
to go home?

10
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,891
Emotionally speaking, honey,
Shoney's is my home.

11
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:25,259
Yeah, but you just
got out of prison.

12
00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:27,761
I mean, how much of a step up
from that is --

13
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,530
Jerry, get out of the booth,
take all your clothes off,

14
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:30,731
and fold yourself
12 times.

15
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,200
You got it.

16
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,768
[ Grunting ]

17
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:38,906
Six folds, huh?

18
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,774
W-W-What, have you guys got me
in a Series 9000?

19
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:43,844
You cheap insect fucks
didn't think I was worth
your best equipment?

20
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,714
[ Chuckles ]
Man, I told the money bugs.

21
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,782
I said, "You know
who this guy is, right?

22
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,851
You want me to get intel
out of the smartest mammal

23
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,687
in the galaxy, you better
give me a decent brainalyzer."

24
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,356
Well, you might as well
order some pancakes,

25
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,591
because I don't see the need
to leave this part of my brain.

26
00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,059
Oh, I think you do.

27
00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:01,262
Eventually, you're either gonna
relax your cerebellum...

28
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:04,232
Shoney's.
...or the Series 9000
is going to turn it into mush.

29
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,567
[ Farts ]
Relaxed enough?
[ Chuckles ]

30
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,768
I admire you, Rick.
[ Farts ]

31
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:08,969
[ Laughs ]

32
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,271
When I --
[ Farts ]

33
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:11,472
[ Laughs ]

34
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:12,706
Rick, here's --
[ Farts ]

35
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,074
[ Laughs ]

36
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:16,577
What's going on?

37
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,746
It's hard to tell. He may have
manifested some sort of butt.

38
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:19,980
He can do that?

39
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:23,117
He is the smartest man
in the universe.

40
00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:25,253
**

41
00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,587
[ Sighs ]

42
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,256
I tell ya, the
Galactic Federation
taking over Earth --

43
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,258
best thing that's ever happened
to this family.

44
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:06,126
I just got my sixth promotion
this week,

45
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,428
and I still don't know
what I do.

46
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,096
Who cares how high
they promote you?

47
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,831
Everyone just gets paid
in pills.

48
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,833
Well, when you're not sure
what you do for a living,

49
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,101
you can make your own rules.

50
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,270
Summer, show your father
some respect.

51
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:18,672
He's pulling down
a six-chewable figure income.

52
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,140
[ Bottle shatters ]

53
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:21,942
I'll get that in a moment.
How are everyone's pills?

54
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,944
Oh, Morty, you've hardly
touched your pills.

55
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,946
I kind of had big pills
for lunch, and I

56
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,115
[muffled] wasn't gonna eat
any more pills.

57
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,317
[ Gulps ]

58
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,551
Thank you, Conroy.

59
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:31,852
You spoil us,
Conroy.

60
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,621
Grandpa Rick wouldn't put up
with this!

61
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,324
Stop saying his name!
He abandoned us.

62
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:37,625
Willem Dafoe!

63
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,860
Th-That's the guy I couldn't
think of this morning.

64
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,161
Don't make
my mistake, Summer.

65
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:43,130
Don't deify the people
that leave you.

66
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,467
You'll end up a horse surgeon
in a world controlled by aliens

67
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,168
whose medicine
keeps horses

68
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,970
[sobs]
healthy forever.

69
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,872
[ Sniffles ] Horses live longer
than tortoises now.

70
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,307
Is that what you want
for yourself?

71
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:56,577
Maybe I just want you to care
if I run away yelling!

72
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:57,911
Who saved room
for pill brûlée?

73
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,480
Ooh!
[ Chuckles ]

74
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,982
I can see why you chose
this family-friendly restaurant

75
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,651
to represent
your cerebellum.

76
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,654
So safe, so comfortable,
so Shoney's.

77
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:09,990
But admit it, Rick -- you're
going crazy cooped up in here.

78
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,492
Let's go visit
some memories.

79
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,660
Oh,
any particular ones?

80
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,194
You want to see
my first boner,

81
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:15,329
or should we go straight
to the moment

82
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,331
I discovered
interdimensional travel?

83
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,667
[ Squeals ]
Ooh, your little flappy doodles
are twitching.

84
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,002
Does that mean you're aroused,
or did you just get a signal

85
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,504
that one of your buddies
found a grape?

86
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,838
It's arousal.

87
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,707
Yes, I'd like very much
to visit the memory

88
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,008
of you inventing
your portal gun.

89
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,678
Yeah, well, tough titties.
[ Rumbling ]

90
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,347
There's no tougher titty
than a psychotic break, Rick.

91
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:37,451
Well, that depends on who breaks
first -- me or the titty.

92
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:40,854
Someone special
you remember?

93
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,790
Is that your memory of her
out there --

94
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,258
between where you were
on 9/11

95
00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:46,026
and your favorite
sports blooper?

96
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,195
[ Whooshing ]

97
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,932
If we stay here, you'll die,
along with all your memories.

98
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,901
If you take me
where I want to go...

99
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,536
she'll be there, too,
won't she?

100
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,806
The day I invented the portal
gun is the day I lost her.

101
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,207
Oh,
that sounds cool.

102
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,142
I can get what I want
and you can say goodbye.

103
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:05,112
[ Sighs ]
Fine, but I'm driving.

104
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,147
...as an excuse
to strip away our freedom.

105
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,985
Huh? What are you --
What are you doing?

106
00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:14,555
Grandpa Rick must have
some secret lab, right?

107
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,391
With, like, laser guns and
jets packs and a space tank!

108
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:18,959
And we can go
break him out of prison!

109
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,294
Look at these dead flies!

110
00:04:20,328 --> 00:04:21,895
Maybe if we arrange them
in a certain order,

111
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,731
it plays a hologram
or it opens a secret door.

112
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,265
Summer,
you're freaking me out.

113
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:27,401
I know things have changed
a lot, and I know you miss Rick,

114
00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,403
but getting him back
wouldn't make things better.

115
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:30,971
And, you know,
we're not doing so bad.

116
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,506
We're miserable, Morty!

117
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:35,909
There's a mandatory curfew,
their weird calendar made me 47,

118
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,578
and they weaponized
the Eiffel Tower!

119
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,414
Hey, I like being 35.
I-I can rent a car now.

120
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:41,515
Because you suck.

121
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,083
You've been keeping
your lip zipped about it

122
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,952
since Grandpa got arrested,
but the fact is,

123
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,820
you're freaking stoked
to bail on him.

124
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,255
He bails on everybody!

125
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,090
He bailed on Mom
when she was a kid!

126
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,625
He -- He bailed
on tiny planet!

127
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,461
And in case I never made this
clear to you, Summer,

128
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:54,662
he bailed on you.

129
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,530
He left you to rot
in a world that he ruined

130
00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:57,798
because he doesn't care!

131
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,500
Because nobody's special to him,
Summer,

132
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:00,901
not even himself.

133
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,936
So, if you really want your
grandpa back, grab a shovel.

134
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,773
The one that won't let you down
is buried in your backyard!

135
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:06,940
You're right!

136
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,476
What?!
No, I'm not right.

137
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,778
I-I was using
ghoulish overkill!

138
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,045
Ghoulish overkill,
Summer!

139
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,447
[ Summer grunting ]

140
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,516
[ Thunder crashes ]

141
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,951
Oh, God!
Oh, God!

142
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:18,786
Whoa, whoa!

143
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,488
[ Thunder crashes ]

144
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,056
Where are we going?

145
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,958
To the day it all began...
and ended.

146
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,227
The moment
that changed everything.

147
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,398
Welcome to McDonald's.
Can I take your order?

148
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,132
Yeah, I'd like to get
a 10-piece McNugget

149
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,001
and a bunch
of the Szechuan sauce.

150
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,636
Like, as much as you're allowed
to give me.

151
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,706
In 1998, they had this promotion
for the Disney film "Mulan,"

152
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,007
where they --
where they --

153
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,675
they created a new sauce
for the McNuggets

154
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:44,244
called Szechuan sauce,
and it's delicious!

155
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,313
And then they got rid of it,
and now it's gone.

156
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,181
This is the only place
we're gonna be able to
try it, is in my memory.

157
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,150
Rick, you're doing this bit
while your brain is melting.

158
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,019
Okay. All right,
all right.

159
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,057
Is that...
Me.

160
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,026
I used to wear
blue pants.

161
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,999
When'd you make the leap
to interdimensional travel?

162
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,735
I didn't.
I did.

163
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:10,170
Well, well, well.

164
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,739
If it isn't us.

165
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,574
You know the worst part
about inventing teleportation?

166
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,175
Suddenly, you're able to travel
the whole galaxy,

167
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,510
and the first thing
you learn is,

168
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,412
you're the last guy
to invent teleportation.

169
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:21,849
Fortunately, you're about
to invent something
much more powerful.

170
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,216
[ Squeals ]

171
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,485
What?

172
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,588
[ Thunder crashes ]

173
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,193
Summer, nobody has to know
about that.

174
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,362
We could put it right back
and pretend we never saw it,

175
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,797
like we did
with Dad's mannequin leg.

176
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,366
Fine, stay here.
I'll rescue Grandpa myself.

177
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,201
And how are you gonna
do that?
I don't know yet.

178
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,402
I'll make it up
as I go.

179
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:43,871
That's what
Grandpa Rick does.

180
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,105
That's what heroes do.

181
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,974
Y-You want to see
what a hero Rick is?

182
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,776
I-I'll bring you somewhere,
Summer.

183
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:51,479
Um...
My goodness, children.

184
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,147
[ Sternly ] Relinquish
the illegal technology

185
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,383
to the nearest
Federation representative.

186
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,686
[ Normal voice ] And then
we'll all play Balderdash.

187
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:02,322
[ Both whimper, scream ]

188
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:05,959
[ Screaming ]

189
00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,063
[ Farting ]

190
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:14,434
**

191
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:17,070
[ Grunts ] Oh, my goodness!
Oh, oh! My goo--

192
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,706
[ Crackling ]

193
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,342
Oh, my God.

194
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,812
I have
that exact same top.

195
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,246
What is this place?

196
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,081
And what's with
"Hunger Games" Summer?

197
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:32,085
That's my sister.
This used to be my home.

198
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,587
Imagine doing
anything you want,

199
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,656
then hopping to a timeline
where you never did it.

200
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,290
Imagine going anywhere,
anytime,

201
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,859
with nobody able
to stop you.

202
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,460
Sounds lonely.

203
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,262
Lonely? Dude,
you have yourself --

204
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,463
your infinite selves.

205
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,198
It's a nonstop party
where all the guests

206
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:46,667
are the only person
we like.

207
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,301
You think it's cool
being the smartest man on Earth,

208
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:49,937
but once we give you
this technology,

209
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,940
you become the smartest thing
in every conceivable universe --

210
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,509
the Infinite Rick,
a god.

211
00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:56,677
Eh, pass.

212
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,446
Excuse me?
Bro, Ricks don't pass on this.

213
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,681
Who do you think
you are?

214
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:02,950
A different kind of Rick,
I guess.

215
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,485
Well, we'll see how long
that lasts.

216
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,456
I heard
sci-fi noises.

217
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,991
Did you make
a breakthrough?

218
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,192
Sort of.

219
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,694
I just took
a long look at myself,

220
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:16,530
and I don't think this
science thing is gonna pay off.

221
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:20,033
Well, why don't I get Beth
and we'll go out for ice cream?

222
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,135
That, Dianne,
is the last great idea

223
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,638
that will ever be had
in this garage.

224
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:27,407
[ Munching loudly ]

225
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,243
Good roasted Cronenberg,
I assume.

226
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:33,847
Mom, you're looking...
feral.

227
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,349
I can't believe
Rick did this.

228
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:37,751
These are the parts
of Rick's adventures

229
00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:40,387
you don't get to see --
the parts he leaves behind.

230
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,422
All right,
it's been great, guys.

231
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:45,392
I really only wanted to stop by
here for a quick "I told ya so."

232
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,360
So, uh...
Looking for this?

233
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:48,562
What are you doing
with that?!

234
00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,931
It stinks of Rick.
[ Grunts ]

235
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,166
No! Why?!
Why would you do that?!

236
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,335
W-W-What is the matter
with you people?!

237
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:59,406
You're a bunch of back-savages,
backwoods savage morons!

238
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:02,910
You can never leave.
She cannot remain.

239
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:04,277
She stinks of Rick.

240
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:07,715
[ All scream ]

241
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,182
Hold your fire!
Hold your fire!

242
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,084
I'm Morty C-137.

243
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:14,788
We detected a compromised
portal gun. Where is your Rick?

244
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,023
He's in prison.
Summer.

245
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,524
He got captured
by the Federation

246
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,926
and we were going to
rescue him.

247
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,361
Very troubling.
We can't risk Citadel secrets

248
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,863
falling into
the Federation's hands.

249
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,098
We'll dispatch S.E.A.L.
Team Ricks immediately

250
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,967
to break into the prison
holding C-137.

251
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,469
Boo-yah.
And assassinate him.

252
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,204
Boo-nah?

253
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,975
[ Horn honks ]
Come on, girls!
The ice cream's gonna melt.

254
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,944
[ Munching ]

255
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,312
[ Whooshing ]

256
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,314
[ Beeping ]

257
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:49,389
Nooooooo!

258
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,225
Wow.
This sauce is fucking amazing.

259
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,661
You said it was promoting
a movie?

260
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,195
[ Slurping ]

261
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,901
Carry the three,
add a two.

262
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,737
I got it.
I fucking got it.

263
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:06,173
Whoa.
I-Is that it, the portal gun?

264
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,308
Yeah.
That's the three lines of math

265
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,645
that separates my life
as a man from my life
as an unfeeling ghost.

266
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,113
Awesome-possum.

267
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,514
[ Whirring ]

268
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,949
Mission Control,
you getting this?

269
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,686
Holy shit, yes!
Yes, we got it! Yeah!

270
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:21,655
Thanks, Rick. I'll try
to remember to shut
off the brainalyzer.

271
00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:24,091
Actually, I think
it shuts off automatically

272
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,492
once your brain
is liquid.

273
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:26,660
Don't know,
don't care.

274
00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,595
Pull me out.

275
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,430
Hey, pull me out.
Can you hear me?

276
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,332
Nope, they cannot.
Why not?

277
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:35,168
Because the code you just
uploaded wasn't actually
my portal-gun formula,

278
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:38,038
it was a virus giving me full
control over the brainalyzer.

279
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,807
What are you talking about?
This is a memory.

280
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,675
Y-You can't alter details
of a memory.

281
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,944
True, but you can alter
anything you want

282
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,379
about a totally fabricated
origin story.

283
00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:49,016
It's a trap! Abort!
I'm still in his Shoney's!

284
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,018
Repeat -- we never left
his Shoney's!

285
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,320
Mission accomplished, boys.
Pull me out.

286
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,521
Roger that.

287
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,723
Okay, have fun in what's left
of my brain.

288
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,124
I'm gonna transfer
to yours.

289
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,126
Oh, there's not enough room
for all my genius,

290
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,228
so I'm leaving you with
my fear of wicker furniture,

291
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:02,696
my desire
to play the trumpet,

292
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,164
my tentative plans
to purchase a hat,

293
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,833
and six years
of improv workshops.

294
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,200
Comedy comes in threes.

295
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,802
It's a trap! Abort!
We never left his --

296
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,138
[ Farts ]
[ Laughs ]

297
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,106
No!

298
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,044
Another day,
another dollar.

299
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,645
Am I great insect creature
or what?!

300
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,847
Congratulations, Agent.

301
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,481
You'll be highly commended
for this.

302
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,516
Always wait for permission
to [burps] feel accomplishment.

303
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,886
That's my motto.
One thing
still perplexes me --

304
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,721
why would Rick Sanchez
turn himself in?

305
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:30,223
Well, I'm just a dumb-ass bug,
but it's possible Rick knew

306
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:31,925
he'd be interrogated
at this facility,

307
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,727
where we not only keep
our most wanted,

308
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:35,195
but our
most sensitive data.

309
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,997
Anyone here with level-nine
access could [burps]

310
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,732
I don't know,
collapse a government.

311
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:40,100
I'm just gonna go
take a dump.

312
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,202
Is it cool if I use
the level-nine bathroom?

313
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,604
W-W-What's the level-nine
master access code again?

314
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,174
Oh, that's easy --
8-3...

315
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,208
Yeah!

316
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,877
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
in the house!

317
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,245
[ Screaming ]

318
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,413
Hi, Rick.

319
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,915
Bye, Rick.

320
00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,420
D-99, y-you okay?

321
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:01,889
[ Grunting ]

322
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:05,125
I'm bummed I didn't get to give
that insect dick a test-drive.

323
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,060
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
T-The Council of Ricks sent us.

324
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,261
We have
your Morty and Summer.

325
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:09,763
They're prisoners
on the Citadel.

326
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,098
Great!
[ Grunts ]

327
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,400
Security breach in room 6755.

328
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,803
Lovely. Not only
is my plan screwed up,

329
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,304
I also forgot
how to improvise.

330
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,272
All security people approach.
[ Grunts ]

331
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,473
Security breach.

332
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,282
A city of Grandpas?

333
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,984
Morty:
It's the Citadel of Ricks.

334
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,786
All the different Ricks
from all the different realities

335
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,454
got together to hide here
from the government.

336
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,256
But if every Rick
hates the government,

337
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,724
why would they
hate Grandpa?

338
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,726
Because Ricks hate themselves
the most.

339
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,429
And our Rick
is the most...himself.

340
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,730
Not anymore, homey.

341
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,132
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
turned his unibrow

342
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,600
into two brows --
with a bullet.

343
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:48,836
[ Laughter ]

344
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,638
Your Rick's dead!
Your Rick's dead!

345
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,907
**

346
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:57,244
Sir, Rick D-99 is returning
from the mission alone.

347
00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,313
Apparently, S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
suffered heavy casualties.

348
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,648
Bring him in.

349
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:04,451
He says he'll only talk to
a Rick with higher clearance.

350
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,153
La-di-da.
Give me that.

351
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:09,689
D-99, this is the commander in
chief of the Citadel's militia.

352
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,859
Go[burps] --
good enough.

353
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,329
He's a spy. Blow him up.
I'm gonna go take a shit.

354
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,598
Operating
an unregistered portal gun,

355
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,167
radicalizing a Summer,

356
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,835
conspiring with
a traitorous Rick.

357
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,003
How do you plead?

358
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,471
How is this
a fair trial?

359
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:25,973
O-Our lawyer
is a Morty.

360
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,275
It's not fair, you have no
rights, and he's not a lawyer.

361
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,010
We just keep him here
because he's fun.

362
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,378
Look at him go.

363
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,512
[ Laughs ]
Ha ha, yeah!

364
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:35,048
We'll be lenient
if you renounce your Rick.

365
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:36,516
What say you, Summer?

366
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,717
I say fuck you!

367
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,319
My grandpa was my hero.

368
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,154
You killed him
because you were jealous of him.

369
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,822
That's pretty obvious
from the haircuts.

370
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:45,125
So do what you want to me,
but let my brother go.

371
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,726
He already
renounced Rick.

372
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:47,961
Morty?

373
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,362
[ Whispers indistinctly ]
What?

374
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:51,965
N-No, I don't want to see
your Pog collection.

375
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,334
I don't renounce Rick,
and I never have.

376
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,836
I was just trying
to protect my sister.

377
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,505
I wanted you to have
a normal life.

378
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,473
That's something you can't have
when Rick shows up.

379
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,243
Everything real turns fake.
Everything right is wrong.

380
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:06,046
All you know is that you know
nothing and he knows everything.

381
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,815
And, well -- well,
he's not a villain, Summer,

382
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,550
but he shouldn't be
your hero.

383
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,887
He's more like a demon
or a super fucked up god.

384
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:16,156
Let's not suck the ghost
of his dick too hard.

385
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,690
He was a terrorist,
and now he's dead.

386
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,659
Oh, yeah? If you think
my Rick's dead, he's alive.

387
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,828
And if you think you're safe,
he's coming for you!

388
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,964
[ All grumbling ]

389
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,068
[ Whistling ]

390
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,602
Hey, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing in here?

391
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:32,105
This area's for teleporting
the entire Citadel

392
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:34,741
to somewhere else
using only buttons and dials.

393
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,409
Yeah, well,
it's a bad idea

394
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,379
to have it designed
that way then, isn't it?

395
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:42,282
[ Whirring ]

396
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,286
[ Screaming ]
What the fuck

397
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,888
We just teleported into
a galactic federal prison.

398
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:51,391
I'm gonna go take a shit.
[ Alarm blaring ]

399
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,792
Lawyer Morty:
Order in the court!

400
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,594
Whoa! What the hell?!
Oh, my God!

401
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,463
[ Screaming ]

402
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,233
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
No, no, no!

403
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:05,805
Whoa!
[ Screaming ]

404
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,340
Whoa!

405
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:18,051
The Citadel's been teleported
to [burps] Federation space.

406
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,587
It's doomed.
This has to be C-137, you guys.

407
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,289
What are we gonna do?!
You know he's coming for us.

408
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,557
All right, calm down!
We have his Summer as a hostage.

409
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:25,725
Obviously, I get her.

410
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,295
You guys play Rick, Laser,
Scissors for the Morty.

411
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,298
W-W-What the hell
is that?

412
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:32,865
Payback.

413
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,402
[ Screaming ]

414
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,936
Grandpa Rick!

415
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,505
Duh!
You're alive!

416
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,807
Rick!
Morty, take this.
You're gonna need it later.

417
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:45,178
**

418
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,080
Hold on, hold on.
Whoa!

419
00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,681
Council Member:
That's enough, Rick.

420
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,483
What -- What's this
supposed to accomplish?

421
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,485
We have infinite
grandkids.

422
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,454
You're trying to use
Disney bucks at a
Caesar's Palace here.

423
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,024
That's a bluff.
He's bluffing, sir. He loves me.

424
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,592
You're a rogue Rick --
irrational, passionate.

425
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,329
You love your grandkids.
You came to rescue them.

426
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,131
I came to kill you,
bro.

427
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,665
That's not even
my original Summer.

428
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,500
Oh, my God. He's not bluffing.
He's not bluffing!

429
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,469
R-Rick?
Why not shoot through her?

430
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,704
20 yards, nine-gauge
plasma pistol,

431
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,174
My first shot would liquify
her insides and injure you,

432
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:15,842
second shot adds recoil.

433
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:18,011
The risk to me is minimized
if I wait for you to shoot her,

434
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,446
which I'm encouraging you
to do.

435
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,014
What the fuck
Or let her go,

436
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,782
which I will reward
with a quicker death.

437
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,351
Because you love her!

438
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:27,120
Because it's incentive for you
to give me my cleanest shot,

439
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,788
which will be your
least painful death.

440
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,291
But if you want to die slower
than that, I'm super into it.

441
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,293
All you got to do to get
that started is kill the girl.

442
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,662
I hate you!
Not an issue, sweetie.

443
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,530
That's enough!
Drop the gun, Rick!

444
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,366
Morty, I know you're too stupid
to get this,

445
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:41,034
but you're really fucking
this up right now.

446
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,570
I'm not letting you
let my sister die!
Drop the gun!

447
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,572
I wasn't gonna let her die,
you fucking moron!

448
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:46,806
Ha!
Aww.

449
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,408
The point is he thought
I was going to.

450
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:49,842
I totally did,
by the way.

451
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:51,311
You're a fucking
moron, Morty.

452
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,579
Morty,
you fucking idiot!

453
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,314
You're a serious
fucking idiot, Morty!

454
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,882
You basically
killed us all!

455
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,517
You're the worst!
You're as dumb as
a bag of sand.

456
00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:01,921
[ All yelling ]

457
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,390
[ Screaming ]

458
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,058
Who's stupid now,
bitch?!

459
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,094
Morty,
we just got him back!

460
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,395
[ Laughs ]

461
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,829
That was amazing,
Morty.

462
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,198
Oh, my God.
Wow.

463
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,599
Okay, let's wrap this...

464
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:15,902
Good job, Morty.
Let's go, kids.

465
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,237
What?!
What happened?

466
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,005
Oldest Rick trick
in the book.

467
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,074
"Fake gun,
shoot me in standoff."

468
00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:22,375
Brilliant.
Ha, yeah.

469
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,911
G-Good thing
I saw that note.

470
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,980
**

471
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:32,919
Can't we just
portal home?

472
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,687
Not until I finish
what I started.

473
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,590
And that is how you get
level-nine access

474
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,092
without a password.

475
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,860
Freeze!

476
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,729
Employee of the month,
ladies and gentlemen.

477
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,797
So, what are you doing
with level-nine access anyways?

478
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:47,600
Destroying the [burps]
galactic government.
Awesome! Whoa, cool!

479
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,702
Are you going to set all their
nukes to target each other?

480
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,471
Ooh, or -- or reprogram
their military portals

481
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,140
to disintegrate
their entire space fleet?

482
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,208
Good pitches, kids.
I'm almost proud.

483
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,477
But watch closely as Grandpa
topples an empire

484
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,780
by changing a one...
to a zero.

485
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,286
Mr. President, the Blemflarck's
value just dropped to nothing.

486
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:09,589
What do you mean?
I mean, our single centralized
galactic currency

487
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:13,393
just went from being worth one
of itself to zero of itself.

488
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,262
[ Panicked murmuring ]
Calm down, people.

489
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:17,630
Deploy the galactic militia
and declare martial law.

490
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:18,631
Yes, sir.

491
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,467
Uh, what should I
pay them with?

492
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,403
Their payment is the honor
they'll feel to serve their --

493
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,405
Wait. Who's paying me
to yell at this guy?

494
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,807
I can answer that --
for money.

495
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,309
I never thought I'd live
to see this day.
[ Panicked murmuring ]

496
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,677
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
gentlemen!

497
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:33,180
There's a solution here
you're not seeing.

498
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,351
Give me your jacket!
Give me those pants!

499
00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:40,787
[ Indistinct shouting ]

500
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:44,157
[ Indistinct shouting ]

501
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:46,426
Insectoid Employee: There's
no rich people or poor people!

502
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,161
I want more jackets!

503
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,830
He who controls the pants
controls the galaxy!

504
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,333
[ Whimpering ]

505
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:57,136
[ Gasps ]

506
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:01,741
[ Whimpering ]

507
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:09,316
No longer will the insects
have domain over surface world!

508
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,156
[ Whimpering ]

509
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,459
Jerry, what the hell
is happening?!

510
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,528
The galactic government
collapsed.

511
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:22,795
Are you okay?

512
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,464
Look, I-I'm not proud to share
this, but the truth is,

513
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,199
I just kept crawling,
and it kept working.

514
00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:28,034
[ Gasps ]
Oh, I'm glad
you're okay.

515
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:32,071
Are we ever going to stop paying
for indulging your father?

516
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:35,007
Our children, our planet,
our jobs?

517
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,476
Is there anything left
to lose?

518
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,845
Just each other,
and I'll never let you go.

519
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:41,948
And I'm so sorry
I ever did this to us.

520
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:44,817
Guess who dismantled
the government?

521
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,753
Please don't
leave me again.
I never will, baby.

522
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,721
I was right.
He turned himself in on purpose.

523
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:50,156
It was all part
of his plan!

524
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,724
Jerry, is there any
light beer left?

525
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:53,493
It's insane what you miss
in prison.

526
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,495
Um...okay.
No.

527
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,564
No, no, no.
Foot down time.

528
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,198
No, you're right.
Where's the vodka?

529
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:01,468
Beth,
it's him or me!

530
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:07,274
Seems like you guys
need some privacy.

531
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,609
I'll, uh --
I'll be in the garage.

532
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:15,047
What the fuck
Not cool, Jerry!

533
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:18,851
A man's garage
is his castle.

534
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:19,786
[ Beeps ]

535
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,192
Jerry's going to...

536
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,261
spend some time...

537
00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:29,529
divorced.

538
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,230
Oh, I-I'm sorry
to hear that, sweetie.

539
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,632
I hope I had nothing
to do with that.

540
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:35,402
Oh, God, Dad, that is not
your burden to bear.

541
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:38,237
I feel terrible
that I misjudged you.

542
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:40,039
This is gonna be good
for Jerry.

543
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,974
For everybody.
For everybody.

544
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,209
[ Text whooshes ]

545
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,111
I better tend to Jerry

546
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,780
before he changes his mind
and doesn't move out.

547
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:50,116
I will leave you two
to your adventures.

548
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,818
Oh, my God. Nancy says

549
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:54,321
they're drawing and quartering
aliens in the school courtyard,

550
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,623
and it technically counts
as patriotism.

551
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,592
Geez! Are my parents seriously
gonna get divorced?

552
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:00,993
All right, Rick,
I'm gonna go to my --

553
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,895
Not so fast, Morty.
You heard your mom.

554
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,432
We've got adventures to go on,
Morty -- just you and me --

555
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:07,467
and sometimes your sister
and sometimes your mom,

556
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,968
but never your dad.

557
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:10,470
You want to know why, Morty?
Because he crossed me.

558
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,305
Okay, take it easy, Rick.
T-T-That's dark.

559
00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:13,806
Oh, it gets darker,
Morty.

560
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,775
Welcome to the darkest year
of our adventures.

561
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,311
First thing that's different --
no more Dad, Morty.
Oh, geez.

562
00:21:18,345 --> 00:21:19,812
He threatened to turn me in
to the government,

563
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,914
so I made him
and the government go away.

564
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,149
Oh fuck

565
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:25,518
I've rep[burps]laced them both
as the de facto patriarch

566
00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:27,286
of your family
and your universe.

567
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,155
Your mom wouldn't have accepted
me if I came home...
Oh, man.

568
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:30,757
...without you
and your sister,

569
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,592
so now you know the real reason
I rescued you.
Oh!

570
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,160
I just took over the
family, Morty, and if
you tell your mom...

571
00:21:34,193 --> 00:21:36,295
Oh, man.
...or sister I said any of this,
I'll deny it,

572
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:37,830
You're gonna deny it.
...and they'll take my side
because I'm a hero, Morty.

573
00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,332
And now you're gonna
have to go...
Oh.

574
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,000
...and do whatever I say,
Morty, forever!

575
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:42,869
And I'll -- I'll go out
and I'll find some more of that

576
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:46,005
"Mulan" Szechuan teriyaki
dipping sauce, Morty.

577
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,375
What are you talking about?
Because that's -- that's
what this is all about, Morty.

578
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:50,009
Szechuan?
That's my one-armed man!

579
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:52,144
I'm not driven by avenging
my dead family, Morty!

580
00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:53,446
That was fake.

581
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,981
I-I-I'm driven by finding
that McNugget sauce.

582
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:57,283
McNuggets?
I want that "Mulan"
McNugget sauce, Morty!

583
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,551
That's my series arc, Morty.
What the hell?

584
00:21:58,585 --> 00:22:00,853
If it takes
nine seasons,

585
00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:03,590
I want my McNugget dipping
sauce, Szechuan sauce, Morty.
What are you talking about,
Rick?

586
00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:05,458
That's what's gonna take us
all the way to the end, Morty.
What are you
talking about?!

587
00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:07,059
Season -- Nine more
seasons, Morty.

588
00:22:07,093 --> 00:22:09,529
Nine more seasons until I get
that dipping Szechuan sauce.

589
00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:11,464
What is that?!
For 97 more years, Morty!

590
00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:12,665
What are you
talking about?!

591
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:14,701
I want that McNugget sauce,
Morty!

592
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:17,404
**

593
00:22:49,936 --> 00:22:50,903
Is it ready?

594
00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:52,705
Yes.
We can bring it online now.

595
00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:53,940
Do it.

596
00:22:57,276 --> 00:23:00,012
I am Phoenix Person.

597
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:02,114
Phoenix Person?
Is that what we settled on?

598
00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:04,050
I thought we all agreed
on Cyber Bird.

599
00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:05,752
You said you didn't care
what he was called

600
00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:07,286
as long as
we brought him back.

601
00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:08,755
Yeah,
but Phoenix Person?

602
00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:10,356
Fine fuck it.
Who cares?

603
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:11,758
[ Grunts ]

604
00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:13,593
Ka-kaw!