1 00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:10,635 Oh my god, I cannot fucking believe this, here we fucking go! 2 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:12,637 Jeez! 3 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:17,642 Pardon the interruption. We are once again in the federal clear. 4 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,270 Rick what the hell? Are you a Turkey Dracula now? 5 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,688 Morty, is that a Pooplickian GamePod? 6 00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,523 Actually it’s the GamePod XL. 7 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,692 They say it’s the most realistic video game console ever. 8 00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,694 -I never got you that. -Space Mom did. 9 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,612 She’s in for the holiday weekend. Remember? 10 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,364 Shit, in that case, let’s go, 11 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,241 -let’s get out of h... -I heard you smack the glass, Dad, 12 00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:35,702 -if you bail, I’ll disown you! -I’d say don’t hop through a portal. 13 00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:37,328 But wait, you can’t. 14 00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,414 Look at it this way, Morty. 15 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:42,542 Life is a subscription and Thanksgiving is your family’s yearly charge. 16 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,169 Wow Dad, good job. 17 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:49,132 Rick, put some pants on. Today has so few rules. 18 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,258 Yes, Patriarch. 19 00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:58,600 I’d like to make a toast. Today is a day for thanks. And for family. 20 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:01,436 And for remembering all of those that have less. 21 00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:03,438 -Okay, pick a scope. -Pick a scope? 22 00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:07,150 -Can we please have a normal Thanksgiving? -Well seems like all the ones I remember. 23 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,276 Good point. 24 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:11,529 Baby, you, it’s a toast. 25 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:12,572 -Sorry! -Sorry! 26 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:18,912 Anyway, I’m thankful for my wife. Beth. The Beth that chose me. 27 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:23,583 I’m so grateful to you, and I literally could not live without you. 28 00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:26,586 I really mean that. If something were to happen to you, 29 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:29,506 or if you were to leave me, or be unfaithful, I would die. 30 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,300 Literally. Probably by my own hand. 31 00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:34,511 -Okay. -I know how I’d do it. 32 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,387 Our first blender has an extra long cord 33 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:39,641 and it was manufactured before safety fuses, so I’d draw a warm bath... 34 00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:42,602 And blend some stuff, good toast, honey. To thankfulness. 35 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,481 -To... America? -To ending the toast? 36 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,525 -To ending the toast. -To ending the toast. 37 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:51,653 Just to, be clear, I was saying I’d kill myself. 38 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,321 -God. -God, we know. 39 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:29,649 -Sorry Jerry got all husband-y. -Yeah. Do not miss that. 40 00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:32,193 So I was thinking we could set you up in Jerry’s man cave? 41 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,654 That’s okay, I’ll sleep in my car. It’s got a Tardis thing going on, 42 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:39,200 bigger on the inside. Dad calls it hack, but my soaking tub begs to differ. 43 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:43,371 Maybe I’ll trade you... my lower back. 44 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:47,333 -I got this. -Jesus, that was great. 45 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:52,380 Well, you’re me. I find this is usually the biggest help. 46 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,385 I just love... the Venusian stuff. 47 00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:59,679 It’s cool, I get insecure trying to pronounce this crap too 48 00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,681 but I got just the thing for that. Here. 49 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,699 Okay shoot that asteroid. Now shoot that one. 50 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,327 Now shoot me in the face. This game’s trash. 51 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,412 I didn’t want to say anything but this does seem lame. 52 00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,706 I thought it was maybe cause we’ve shot so many real asteroids 53 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:27,707 let’s look at the menu 54 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,667 There’s the realism setting. 55 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,587 Cool. Also stupid. The factory setting is 4? 56 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:33,630 What do we want, 10? 57 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,673 No, do 9, I’m kidding. 58 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,634 -Shut up, Summer. -Shut up Summer. Put ten. 59 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,181 -This is the same. -It’s worse. It’s... 60 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:47,352 I get it. Okay. It’s more real. The vast majority of space is empty. 61 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,729 What? Who cares? Then what am I doing? 62 00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:53,441 Looks like you can record a video for your kid in case you die. 63 00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,652 Not a bad idea, you’re gonna be in space for a while. 64 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,279 May as well. 65 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,616 Son. If you’re seeing this, 66 00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,619 I starved to death while looking for an asteroid. 67 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,331 This is stupid. You guys are obviously just trying to convince yourselves 68 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,208 it’s cool because you feel lame about it. 69 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,251 Summer you know nothing about gamer culture. 70 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,711 Bro, tell your son you love the shit out of him. 71 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,088 I’m gonna! 72 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,307 Of course we both can’t sleep at the same time. 73 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,393 We do share a shitty back. 74 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,645 -Turn around. At least let me... -Yes please. 75 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:34,399 -My God. -Okay I know we’re not massage people 76 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:37,610 but you need this. See you act like this bad ass space cowboy 77 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:42,615 but I know you’re just a scared little overachiever that keeps all her OCD right. 78 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,492 -My God. -Yeah. 79 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,786 By the way you better be taking notes, I’m next. 80 00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,330 -It’s my back you dumb bitch. -Nice. 81 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,165 What? 82 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,467 -Well I better get back to bed. -Same 83 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,350 So now you’re into highly realistic video games? 84 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,686 Maybe I decided real life was too much right now 85 00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,730 or maybe I’m not afraid to change my mind about stuff, 86 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:17,275 maybe mental flexibility is stronger than stubbornness. 87 00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:20,528 Nice manip’, Sum-Sum. Okay, I’m in the alley behind the library. 88 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,613 -Uptown or downtown? -Shit, there’s one uptown, too? 89 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,532 It’s okay, stay there, I think I’m near the red line. 90 00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,326 -Is this Street Fighter? -Street Fighter where you start 91 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,329 at the beginning of each fighter’s day and have to find each other to fight. 92 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,665 It’s very realistic. Not even guaranteed a fight will happen. 93 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,501 That meter filling up is us forgetting what made us so mad. 94 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:39,714 If anyone’s interested in a higher level of realism, I’m “booting up” the O.G. 95 00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:44,552 That’s Original Game, called a jigsaw puzzle, in the den. 96 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,723 Hey, gang! Me and my space self are gonna make a run to the Gloppy Drop System 97 00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:51,225 for ice cream. Any flavor requests? 98 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:51,768 -Vanilla! -Vanilla! 99 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:55,313 Why do you guys have to go all the way to deep space just for ice cream? 100 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,565 Gloppy Dropulites have less taste buds than humans, 101 00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:59,400 their ice cream is like a hospital bed, 102 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,569 it’s designed for you to do less so it does more. 103 00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:03,237 Okay see ya in a bit. 104 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:07,325 I’ll get started sorting all the obvious sky pieces. Secret technique. 105 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:08,659 -Oh fuck it’s ON, bitch! -Oh shit there you are! 106 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:11,370 -I’m gonna eat your ass. -You will die in the street like a dog! 107 00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:15,708 Stunning. 108 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:19,253 Thank you. This is incredible. 109 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,173 Just glad I had something in your size. 110 00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:28,262 How far is Gloppy Drop? And why do I always think I’m wearing a watch? 111 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:31,474 I actually have a pint of Gloppy Drop on a little apartment orbiting Earth. 112 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,477 -So we have time. -You have your own space station? 113 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,605 We have our own space station. We’re the same person. 114 00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:41,692 There’s differences. Like, one of us has no idea who she really is. 115 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,611 Wrong. But let’s make a deal. 116 00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:47,406 Let’s trust ourselves enough to stop wondering who we are when we’re together. 117 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,950 We get to say anything to each other. 118 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:51,953 Things we’d never say to anyone else, even ourselves. 119 00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,788 What don’t we say to ourselves? 120 00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:57,500 How about my ass looks good in that space suit. 121 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,585 I mean it. I’m a good looking woman. 122 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:00,920 Well that’s nice of you to say. 123 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:05,967 I also... find myself... quite attractive. 124 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,229 We forgot the ice cream. 125 00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:23,276 I want you back in my guts like I’m one of your sick little fillies. 126 00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:34,328 Goddammit, Morty! You can’t just take my controller. 127 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,496 Yes I can! It’s mine. 128 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,541 -Okay, Sum-Sum, gimme. -Make your own controller, 129 00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,293 some of us need all the control we can get. 130 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:41,627 Fuck you! 131 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,423 So why are you so suddenly into realistic video games? 132 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:48,426 -I already was. -But now you’re into them the way I am. 133 00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,511 You mean like staring at them in a numb trance. 134 00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:52,805 Not judging, just noticing. 135 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:55,600 You tend to notice stuff a little before I do. 136 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,018 But eventually you do notice. 137 00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:59,520 And now we can both not notice together, yes. 138 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:00,688 My god, Beth?! 139 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:02,940 I thought you said you got ice cream? 140 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:07,695 -I. It must be in the... -The car! We left it in the car. 141 00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:10,573 Okay, good, because that would have been weird! 142 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,700 I worry things might become more and more noticeable. 143 00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,036 And if he kills himself we’re gonna have to get a new dad 144 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:16,704 Jesus Christ, Summer! 145 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:24,003 -Dad. What’s this? -Making a controller. 146 00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:27,715 This species of bionic space whale has carbon wiring, great for smooth gameplay. 147 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,717 I’m not killing it, for the record. 148 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,678 I’m just replacing its esophagus with a better one. For free. 149 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,556 It should thank me. And it will, with its mind. 150 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,725 These things are telepathic, Beth, they talk to you in dreams. 151 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,771 Does your replicator thing make ice cream from the Gloppy Drop system? 152 00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:44,982 Why would you want replicated Gloppy Drop ice cream, poser? 153 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:48,736 Crazy thing, I went with Space Beth to get some and we had such a great time 154 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:51,614 we forgot the ice cream. Crazy right? 155 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,492 -That’s a real question? -Maybe? 156 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:55,534 Come here, hold the pup down. 157 00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,745 You’re talking about an infinite father. 158 00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,789 I’ve met myself out there infinite times... 159 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:03,668 Infinite shit happens. Including, as you put it, forgetting the ice cream. 160 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:07,505 -You’ve... forgotten the ice cream? -Drill me for details when I’m drunker. 161 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,757 In the meantime, don’t worry about what’s crazy. 162 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,761 -I’know, as the kids say, you do you. -Thanks. Thank you so much, Dad. 163 00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,096 One thing to keep in mind, though. 164 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:18,099 It’s not just your own ice cream you’re forgetting. It’s your family’s. 165 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,643 If you forget it too much, you start having to keep secrets. 166 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:24,063 -And you’re against secrets. -Against? Hell no. Secrets are great. 167 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,067 For instance, I’ve had a pint of vanilla Gloppy Drop in my fridge this whole time. 168 00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:30,069 Take it. I’m just saying, lies pile up. 169 00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:33,114 Like credit card debt. You retain an advantage by staying liquid. 170 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:37,702 Gotcha. Well. I’d call this a simple cash transaction. 171 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,079 Fun. And. Done. 172 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,463 Favorite Culkin? 173 00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:50,464 -Kieran! -Kieran! 174 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:52,008 Favorite song by Britney? 175 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,009 -Work Bitch! -Work Bitch! 176 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,093 Favorite hangover cure? 177 00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:55,052 -Hair of the dog -Hair of the dog 178 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,679 with a guilty pleasure like Humans Weekly. 179 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,812 I told Dad. I mean I didn’t have to. He knew. 180 00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,523 I guess that’s one reason you didn’t have to tell him. 181 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,152 What’d he say? 182 00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:13,571 We kind of talked in code, I think he said it’s fine 183 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:16,157 until it makes us feel indebted to our lessers. 184 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,658 That sounds like Dad. 185 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:21,037 Do... we... owe... the family an explanation? 186 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,081 Do we have to spend our time together figuring out how to please others? 187 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:28,127 I’m married. We both are but I’m in our marriage. 188 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,129 It’s the defining difference between us. 189 00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,506 Well there’s no rule book that says you have to be. 190 00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:39,180 What’s gonna happen? What is this? Are we in love? With ourself? 191 00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:42,767 I mean, does that make us the most or the least healthy woman in the universe? 192 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:46,729 Anybody ever tell you you’re overly analytical? Which I do love? 193 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,857 -If that’s what you need to call it? -I don’t need to call it anything. 194 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:56,072 -I would like to know... its shelf life. -I might know a way to gather that data. 195 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:57,740 -The Holodeck! -Motel Room! 196 00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:58,783 I like yours better. 197 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:12,171 Beth! My Beth! Well, not “my” Beth, but... I finished! It’s done! 198 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:16,759 Kids do you know where your moms are? Oh you’re busy with your GamePod, 199 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,053 don’t worry about it, I’ll find those two somewhere 200 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:23,724 No! No, dad, come play videogames with us. 201 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,143 Okay Dad here’s the infinite menu screen. 202 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,728 -I dunno. -Here, here, 203 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,563 I’ll have the console choose a game! 204 00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:32,650 Maybe let’s skip this one? 205 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,110 Really? Why? Looks fun! 206 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:41,659 So we are a woman married to a man but having a sexual affair with another woman! 207 00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:45,663 -Very spicy. -Very spicy, Jer. Good job. 208 00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:47,665 Looks pretty single player, kids? 209 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:58,092 Seriously you two?! What the hell did you do in my holodeck?! 210 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:02,096 Holy shit, you did a full ‘San Junipero’ in here? 211 00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:05,599 My god, Beth, there’s masturbating and then there’s masturbating. 212 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,685 -Dad stop, I’m sorry! -You’d know, old man. 213 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,271 Look, this isn’t my business and by all means 214 00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:14,150 enjoy being sapphic horse girls together. But you suck at doing it secretly. 215 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,610 -We all know. -Including Jerry?! 216 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,779 No, Dad’s so in the dark that he’s enjoying a video game 217 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,239 about being in an affair right now. 218 00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,158 If you guys are doing this, you gotta tell him. 219 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,702 -Okay, little man, back off. -Take it easy. They’re right. 220 00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,288 Right about what, that we have to be twice as considerate 221 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:30,666 and twice as repressed because some dick split us in two? 222 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,044 This is the shit I left. This isn’t. This is me. 223 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:38,132 This is the me that doesn’t tell you all to fuck off. So allow me. Fuck off. 224 00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:40,718 She’ll tell her husband what she wants when she feels like it. 225 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:42,720 And you can deal with it or you can deal with me. 226 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:45,181 But you should know I have all the Predator weapons. 227 00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:47,808 -Works for me. -That’s cool. 228 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,768 -Fair enough. -I guess it’s time for ice cream. 229 00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:52,271 Come on, kids, you’re inhaling this stuff. 230 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:56,066 Your Moms went to space, did you even thank them for doing it? 231 00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:00,070 Thanks for... doing it, Moms. 232 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,322 Very selfless of you. 233 00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:04,325 Eat your ice cream however you want. Nothing good lasts forever. 234 00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:14,710 Okay, c’mon, it’s Thanksgiving, the least we can do is speak English. 235 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,296 Jerry, I had sex with your wife. 236 00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:20,758 Or, I’m your wife and had sex with the clone you sleep with. 237 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,259 Your pick. We had sex. We loved it. 238 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,181 Beth Sanchez sure is something? 239 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:31,143 -I think I’ll ask her to prom. -Jerry. For your own sake. 240 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,853 Stay away from Beth Sanchez. 241 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:36,357 -Worst case, she says “no”. -No, Jerry. Worst case she says “yes”. 242 00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:41,195 She’s too much woman for you. Maybe she’d find your simple naïveté endearing 243 00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:44,198 but she’s intense. Sooner or later, she’d tear you apart. 244 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:48,160 I’d be lucky to be torn apart by Beth Sanchez. 245 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,169 -What the fuck?! -Dad’s a bug! Dad rolled into a bug! 246 00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,089 Forgot I installed that. 247 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,386 -Why does Jerry have a Pill Bug Protocol? -It’s an emotional defense system. 248 00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:06,720 I got drunk with Jerry one night 249 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,055 and he said it’s what he wanted most in the world. 250 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:10,474 Don’t blame me, I wanted tattoos 251 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:13,060 Anyway, he’s in perfect health in there and he can unroll when he chooses to 252 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:16,063 but can also stay in metabolic hibernation pretty much indefinitely. 253 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,065 It’s a cool power to have, like if you have to fly coach 254 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,985 or if Summer asks you what you thought of ‘Wonder Woman 1984 255 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,778 -How do we undo it? -Only he can. 256 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:25,739 That’s the point. It’s total safety. Even I can’t reverse it. 257 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,410 If you try to pry him out and hit a nerve, he’ll literally turn into a Shrek. 258 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,537 In his own sad way, he’s taken control. 259 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:35,040 This is classic Jerry. He’d rather be a bug than have a conversation. 260 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,418 Have you heard the way you start conversations? 261 00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:39,503 You ladies discuss responsibility while I get stoned 262 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,921 and play video games with your kids. 263 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,766 -Fuck! More forest! -Look around! 264 00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:57,730 Try heading North? 265 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,901 -Oh shit. -Wait, what the fuck. 266 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,778 Maybe keep heading North? 267 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,954 -What the hell?! -God, what happens in the shadows? 268 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:14,997 Jerry, sweetie? 269 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,709 -If you can hear me, please, unroll. -He doesn’t want to. 270 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,794 It’s a little late to worry about what he wants. 271 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:24,006 Jesus, Beth, don’t fall for this. This isn’t love, it’s a tantrum. 272 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:27,968 Yeah but his tantrum is self destructive. Yours is destructive. 273 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,471 Maybe that’s why I’m the one that loves him. He worries. 274 00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:33,057 He wants to do right. He’s ashamed when he fails. 275 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,476 Aren’t those things you love about me? 276 00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:39,146 You want me to be like him? You want me to propose? Threaten to kill myself? 277 00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:43,150 No. I love you the way you are. And I did it forever in a video game. 278 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,486 But in life, things go wrong. Things stop working. 279 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:48,489 I like to fix those things, and when I can’t, I’m pretty useless. 280 00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:50,783 -Like my husband. -I don’t get it. 281 00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,826 You’re the house wife and I’m the space lady 282 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,995 but you’re the one that chewed me up and spit me out. 283 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,830 I don’t want to just forget about you. 284 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,376 Me neither. It’s a problem. 285 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,420 But we know someone that owes us a solution. 286 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,007 Shit, we’re out of the forest! We found a clearing! 287 00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:08,842 Go check it out! Go check out the clearing! 288 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,517 Vampires?! Oh, come on! That’s not realistic! 289 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,186 Morty, it’s obviously set in a world where vampires hunt in clearings. 290 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:20,020 How did you... 291 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,897 I’m working with the same information you are. 292 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,858 No more screen time until your homework’s done, Dad. 293 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,528 -What did that mean? -We refuse to care 294 00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:30,030 Damn. You really came of age this Thanksgiving. 295 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:33,033 How old are we? We’ve had a million Thanksgivings. 296 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:36,912 -Can I explain how irrational this is? -Asked the guy that cloned his daughter. 297 00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:38,163 Will I ever live that down? 298 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:38,914 -No -No 299 00:16:38,997 --> 00:16:40,499 You guys are having me Eternal Sunshine 300 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,835 all the Multiplicity porn scenes from your minds? 301 00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:43,961 -Yep. Basically. -Sounds right. 302 00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,964 Meanwhile, everyone around you, your father, your cuckhold husband, 303 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:50,175 your jaded children will just happily and silently bear the burden 304 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,219 because it’s more practical for them than the truth 305 00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:54,221 and you don’t care becausei t won’t be your problem. 306 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,890 -Solid repipe, Dad. -It’s like he has a lifetime of experience 307 00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:57,975 as a selfish ass. 308 00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:04,231 When this fails and the two of you fall in love again 309 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,066 and you attack me for taking part in this, 310 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,235 I’m gonna lie and say I tried to talk you out of it for hours. 311 00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:09,236 In truth, I don’t care. 312 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,740 -Three, two... -For God’s sake, all of you, grow up. 313 00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:13,949 -Jerry! You un rolled! -What the hell? 314 00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:15,784 Plot twist, Deus Ex Husbanda. 315 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,078 Don’t lobotomize yourselves for my comfort. 316 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:21,874 I may be a man but I’m also a baby and babies don’t take responsibility 317 00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:24,918 for other people’s suffering. I should never have said I’d kill myself 318 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,253 if you left me. It’s not true. 319 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:30,090 All I’d do is pack my shit and cry while I look for a job on Starbuck’s wifi. 320 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:31,842 And that’s what I’m gonna do. 321 00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:35,763 So the two of you can get clone lesbian married by a robot 322 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,891 and finger yourselves on the moon while laughing in Martian French 323 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,935 -about my weird little dick! -Jerry, wait. 324 00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:51,278 -Jerry, don’t leave angry. -Should I float out on a lotus leaf? 325 00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:55,032 I have to be twice as confident because my wife cheated on me with herself? 326 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,910 -It’s not even cheating. -You here to help? You suck. 327 00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:59,995 You don’t even know which one is your real wife. 328 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:02,122 If it’s me, have you been cheating with a clone? 329 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,791 I’m not the clone but she has a point. 330 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:07,294 what a provocative conversation it would’ve been great to have before 331 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:09,963 the two of you, and I am counting two, 332 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:14,134 gave each other unfairly expert orgasms while mocking my weird little dick! 333 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,720 Jerry, you’re the only one who keeps saying weird and little. 334 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,972 Well you’ve both seen it! And you’ve both seen each other 335 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,308 and now you want to tell me all about it but it’s a little late. 336 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:25,938 My God. You’re not mad that it was about you. You’re mad that it wasn’t. 337 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,065 He wanted to permit our love. 338 00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:31,026 Okay it’s not "Handmaid’s Tale" to loop in your husband. 339 00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,986 I agree for the record, we made a mistake. 340 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:37,324 because we should’ve noticed ourselves losing control and gone to Sexmaster Jerry 341 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,911 and said oh pretty please, Jerry, can I make out with myself? 342 00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:41,954 Yes you may. 343 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,958 See. Not so hot when it’s above board. Homewreckers. 344 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:49,336 -So we won’t enjoy this? -Well hold on hold on, this is weird. 345 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,004 Weird and permitted. 346 00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,173 -Wait, you like this? -Who cares what he likes. 347 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,008 -I do. -I might like it 348 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:58,011 -and if she likes it I permit it. -You little pervert. 349 00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:01,139 -You like a little pervert. -I like humiliating a little pervert. 350 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:05,185 -I approve. Carry on. -I’m freaked out by how hot this is. 351 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:08,313 -Am I permitted to do this? -Until further notice. 352 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,899 -I love it. -Then it’s permitted from now on. 353 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,319 Because you like whatever she likes. Because you’re a worm. 354 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,029 I will allow that assessment. 355 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,782 -Pass the salt? -Dammit. 356 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,201 -I allow this. -Well then it’s required. 357 00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:22,870 I approve the requirement. 358 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,329 -You get over there. -Good idea 359 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,833 -Okay. Honey? -I’m fine if you are. 360 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:31,336 -You’re never fine, shut up. -Okay but... Okay. 361 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:35,048 -This is not how I pictured this but... -I have zero complaints so far. 362 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:37,926 -Because I know what you want. -I do not disagree with that. 363 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:41,221 -Can I make a pitch? What if we... -Are you serious? 364 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:44,182 -Is this making fun of me? -Well is that bad? 365 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,225 I’ll allow it. 366 00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:50,814 Jesus Christ, you need to fix the portal gun, Rick. 367 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,941 Morty, you asking makes me wanna do it less. 368 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,944 Okay, Thanksgiving! Let’s talk about Thanksgiving! 369 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,363 Who’s thankful for what? Go, Summer, you first. 370 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:02,993 I guess I’m thankful, for like, water? 371 00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,912 Perfect! Wonderful! Morty, what about you? 372 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:08,290 Fucking. Are you fucking kidding me? Why? Why? 373 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:11,168 Discovery Channel! Discovery Channel, why?! 374 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:14,963 Okay. Just, eat your food. Everyone eat the food. 375 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,089 Sorry, I'm... this... 376 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,303 Well, bye kids! I’ll keep an eye out for my grandkid in space. 377 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,389 Your what? Oh! Right. Naruto. 378 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,266 Thanks for visiting, Space Beth. 379 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:34,983 Well, seems like we all learned a little lesson this weekend! 380 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,195 -At least, I know I did! -Me too, Jerry. Me too. 381 00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:24,825 Hello there, Jerry! How can I help you today? 382 00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:28,036 Howdy! Just, just here to hang! 383 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,373 I’m sorry, sweetie. You can’t come here by yourself. 384 00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:33,291 Why not? It’s just me in there! 385 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:38,171 Well, not that this is something you’d do, but sometimes we have Jerries come here 386 00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:40,382 and try to touch other Jerries. 387 00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:44,344 No, that’s, that’s not good. Well, see you later! 388 00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:52,394 -Okay. -Thank you!