1 00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,590 Previously on rick and morty. 2 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,134 Jerry I had sex with your wife. 3 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,262 I did it, I fixed portal travel. 4 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,556 Jack the Ripper, at your service. 5 00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:16,141 -Cool. -This happened too? 6 00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:18,935 -I’m pregnant. -Honey, she’s just like you. 7 00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:20,937 -It’s raining meatballs. -Okay something is... 8 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:24,941 Jerry Smith died doing what he loved, getting stung by bees. 9 00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:26,359 -Off. -Off what? 10 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,445 Have some respect, it’s Dad’s funeral. 11 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,405 I’m gonna name you Jerry Jr. 12 00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:32,115 Thanks for solving that murder guys, 13 00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,825 -here’s a skateboard. -Thanks Tony Hawk. 14 00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:35,118 -Morty, say you’ll marry me. -What? 15 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,161 -What? -Just say yes! 16 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:37,787 -Yes? -Okay. 17 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,081 -Rick, do you promise to... -I do and for our honeymoon 18 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,375 let's go to a sealed chamber lined with ionized deuterium! 19 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,710 -Why? -Because the charge acts 20 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,212 as a narrative decelerant. Morty, none of this is real, 21 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,465 we’re in a Previously On spiral, clear your head. 22 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,216 -After all that’s happened? -No. 23 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,803 I’m innocent! I didn’t release those bees! I love Jerry! 24 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,096 What’d I just say? 25 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,556 -When? -Okay, great execution, 26 00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:58,099 let’s go back to the chamber. 27 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,935 Now repeat after me, Morty: Next time on Rick and Morty. 28 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:02,729 Next time on Rick and Morty? 29 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:05,523 -No. Previously on Rick and Morty. -Ignore it, Morty. 30 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,192 Next time on Rick and Morty. 31 00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:09,736 -It counteracts his toxins. -Next time on Rick and Morty. 32 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,571 -Whose toxins? -Hey stop it! 33 00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,323 Previous Leon. Grab him! 34 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,868 Hold on tight, Morty! We gotta get through the opening titles! 35 00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,328 Opening titles of what? 36 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:19,996 -We’re in space. -Let go of me. 37 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:24,667 Oh my god! Oh my god! 38 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,715 -What planet is this? -Cover you eyes on this part! 39 00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:32,842 Oh my god, it’s a giant squirrel 40 00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:35,470 Why are we dressed like old timey people? 41 00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,347 -What the hell’s going on? -Oh my god, no way. 42 00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:40,350 Why is my dad in a suit? 43 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,393 -Best episode! -Who is that? 44 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,520 OK, we’re almost through. 45 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:52,487 And we’re back! 46 00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,864 -Stop! Let go of me! -What just happened? 47 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:55,907 Why was there music? 48 00:01:57,075 --> 00:02:00,036 Because of this conceptual little piece of shit! Grab his feet! 49 00:02:00,119 --> 00:02:02,580 If we have opening titles, does that mean that we’re a... 50 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:06,125 Let your body purge the meta-venom, Morty, don’t succumb to his 51 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,670 -pointless self aware bullshit. -It’s not pointless, it’s cool! 52 00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:11,172 -He’s got a gun! -Eat lead, pussy! 53 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,593 No no no! Fuck! 54 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,848 -Son of a... -Did he use a portal? 55 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,433 He wishes. He wriggled back to the meta layer through a hole 56 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,561 in the fourth wall. Put these on and help me find it. 57 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:28,273 I don’t like this, Rick. 58 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:30,400 You shouldn’t, it’s not a likable premise. 59 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,443 I mean it’s funny when I do a little nod to viewers 60 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:33,403 -but... -What viewers? 61 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:34,946 That’s the right attitude, Morty. 62 00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:37,240 A few carefree verbal asides, always by me, 63 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,409 none of this Season Three Moonlighting shit. 64 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,286 -Okay, here it is. -You’re going to patch it? 65 00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:43,580 No, he subverted actual reality, Morty, 66 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,874 he needs to be put down like a rabid dog. 67 00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:56,092 -Fuck! -Oh yeah, 68 00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,760 no, you don’t wanna wear those over here. 69 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,722 Maybe he went down that road? 70 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:02,682 No no no, if he took that he’d end up a hero. 71 00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,475 Dammit, Rick. I don’t like this. 72 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,145 -is this whole place just... -A bunch of groan-inducing wordplay 73 00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:09,272 for seven TV critics that won’t even enjoy it? 74 00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:12,483 It’s worse than you think, Morty, we’re basting in meta radiation right now, 75 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,319 our credibility is being permanently eroded, 76 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:17,614 every second we spend here is the equivalent to ten Space Jam cameos. 77 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,283 -You should've thought of that previously -Get him! 78 00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:29,375 Oh no! Bless me Heavenly Father for you will save me... 79 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,252 Now I feel bad. Let’s just get out of here. 80 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,462 Because he prays? 81 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,255 You know Hitler was Catholic, right? 82 00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:36,299 I’m here, Leon. 83 00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:39,427 Okay. He apparently prays very well. 84 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,180 -Time for you two to meet the Lord. -That’s okay, we’re good. 85 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:45,308 Treat it like a bear attack, just walk backwards and make yourself look big. 86 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:50,313 I love a good refusal of the call. Hello, Rick. 87 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:54,484 -Hello, Amish Juggler? -His name is Story Lord. 88 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,027 Story Lord? 89 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,571 Listen, trust me, take Amish Juggler, you can have it. 90 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,991 Story Lord. Rick, he’s the villain from that toy train I bought you. 91 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,452 Very good, Morty. The fictional versions of you trapped me 92 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:07,413 in a Bible show for children but I used make-believe Christ 93 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,124 to transcend fiction and enter meta-reality. 94 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,462 Now I’m the one doing the trapping Leon was the bait. 95 00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,755 -Bait? -Jesus? 96 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,177 Never dumb mother! 97 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:28,059 You’re using Jesus to beat us up? Have you seen South Park? 98 00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:30,687 Good call-out, Morty, that’s the kind of meta I like, 99 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,064 the kind that keeps us creatively accountable. 100 00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,066 Oh god. Not the Bane. Not the Bane! 101 00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:39,529 He Baned me, Morty! Jesus Baned me! 102 00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:43,825 You can’t beat me up, I’m technically Christian child! 103 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,910 And I’m your worst nightmare. 104 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,371 I’m the Jesus from every Jesus joke. 105 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,957 -The one without a God. -Morty! Take this and get out! 106 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:57,630 Thank you. Looks like Story Lord’s story is about to become based on real events. 107 00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,675 -What do you want with that? -I want what any character wants. 108 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,552 -Motivation. -What? 109 00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,554 -That’s dumb. -So lazy. 110 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,222 Forward your notes to my ass. 111 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,101 Wait wha... he just left? 112 00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,687 Kinda makes you want to be our unlikely ally huh? 113 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:13,688 I guess not. 114 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,234 Previously on Jesus Christ. 115 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,445 -Hey, I’m Jesus. -I’m Mary. 116 00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:21,904 -That’s my mom’s name. -Stop. 117 00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,949 -Dude, she’s a hooker. -She’s a better disciple than you! 118 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:30,747 Oh no. 119 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,207 I can’t die. 120 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,376 I have a proposition for you. 121 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:36,836 I work alone. 122 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:43,426 If I suck-a your blood, I’ll be invincible! I think! 123 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:44,594 You’ll never know. 124 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:49,348 Billionaire immortal entrepreneur Jesus Christ has placed all his money 125 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:52,143 into what he’s calling a “second chance at love.” 126 00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:57,023 -Hang on, Mary! -The data! So beautiful! 127 00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,525 Make me normal, witch. 128 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:03,071 Take it all! 129 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,447 Eat your pudding, Mr. Christ. 130 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,992 -What are you smiling at? -Your name. 131 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,414 -What’s happening, Rick? -Leon’s venom makes you think 132 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,834 more and more of your life is behind you as he feeds on your released potential. 133 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,254 Leon. You saved our lives! 134 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,298 -Oh not yet he hasn’t. -Jeez Rick! 135 00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:23,466 -So mean! -He’s meta, Morty. 136 00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:24,801 His life doesn’t matter. 137 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,761 Yours does. That’s why we need to get back. 138 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,722 Well this doesn’t feel like a Citadel. 139 00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:33,643 Maybe it’s cooler on the inside? 140 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,230 This isn’t what it looks like. 141 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,816 This is a very special diet for successful writers. 142 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:43,152 -Why do you look like my character? -I am your character. 143 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:47,198 -And you are going to improve me. -But you’re Story Lord, you’re great. 144 00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:51,327 Great isn’t good enough! I’ve killed Rick and made myself real. 145 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:53,788 I’m better than some shitty toy train. 146 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,332 Is this your office or your apartment? 147 00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:57,750 Why does it smell like you sleep here? 148 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:01,212 -You’re my creator, why are you pathetic? -Because you failed! 149 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,798 And whose fault is that? What the hell happened? 150 00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,925 You wanna know what happened? Like specifically? 151 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,678 Well the Ricks wanted to do a Canterbury Tales type thing, 152 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,930 but none of them have actually read fucking Canterbury Tales, 153 00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,057 so then they told me to make it like the Poker Game episode 154 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,102 of the Batman cartoon where the bad guys tell stories about Batman. 155 00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:18,187 Then they kept telling me it “needed something.” 156 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:22,024 Yeah no shit it needed something! It needed to never be pitched! 157 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:25,695 I did my job! Goomby, the Ice Queen, the Tickets Please guy. 158 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:28,573 They just bailed on it! The website didn’t even fucking work! 159 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:32,243 And it was a shitty URL to begin with, “Storydash Train”? 160 00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:34,996 Who uses a dash? They set me up to fail! 161 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:38,583 They fucked me! They fucked me and you're lucky I haven’t blown my brains out! 162 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,460 Right. Just give me a motivation, you hacky fart. 163 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:42,879 Okay, here’s your motivation. 164 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:46,841 You’re looking for motivation. You want all the motivation. 165 00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:48,050 That’s lazy. 166 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,303 It got you this far. Must be nice, by the way, 167 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:53,639 wish I could afford to dress like a bisexual acting coach from the seventies. 168 00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:58,436 -My motivation... is motivation. -Okay, bye. 169 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:01,814 Oh no, my bitter friend, you’re coming with me. 170 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:06,903 Yo! If you don’t see me coming it’s a bad fortress! 171 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,908 -Where are we? -Headquarters of The Self Referential Six. 172 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,702 They’re meta nerds that found out they could be less bearable as a team. 173 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:17,205 -They can help us? -No but there’s a prisoner here that can. 174 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,916 -Don’t tell them that. -Rick Sanchez. 175 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,251 I’ve been waiting for this moment for years. 176 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,504 Good, Morty, this is Miss... Lead. 177 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,673 I should kill you where you stand. 178 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:32,261 I brought you Previous Leon. You’ll want to lock him up in your detention center. 179 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,013 It’s a trick, he wants your prisoner. 180 00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,014 -You dick. -Liar! 181 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,975 Talk about a mislead. Anti-meta field. 182 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:41,479 Fancy device. I think I can recall the time you built it. 183 00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,064 Don’t try it, Flash Back! 184 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,526 Y’know I’m excited about the upcoming election. 185 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:51,697 This forcefield will be impenetrable by meta-energy. It runs on hydrogen isotopes. 186 00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:55,952 It runs on hydrogen isotopes. 187 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,621 A few barrels of petroleum should dampen it. 188 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,289 Run, Morty! 189 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:05,378 Were those not there before? Guess there’s been a... Connie Tinuityerror. 190 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,173 -These people are the worst! -I told you! Way overpowered! 191 00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:13,761 -Look out, Rick! -Forget him, he’s a nameless guard. 192 00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:16,681 That’s Protago Nick. 193 00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:19,308 His beam has the power to make any character the protagonist. 194 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:21,477 Duck. 195 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,856 Oh man, oh man. 196 00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:30,319 What are you doing, Marvin? Not dying, that’s what I’m doing! 197 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,531 What’s going on? What happened? 198 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:36,158 I did it again, Katie. I ran out on another job. 199 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,412 Well if you didn’t do that, you wouldn’t be my man. 200 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,222 I was almost tempted to just let it go, that’s much how I hate it here. 201 00:09:58,306 --> 00:09:59,223 Smash Cut! 202 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,226 -Remember me, Rick? -Who’s this guy now? 203 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:07,231 I am Mr. Twist. The fifth member of the Self Referential Six. 204 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,693 -Who’s the sixth? -That’s the twist, Morty. It's you. 205 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:11,902 -What? -Ignore him, Morty. 206 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,446 The twist is there is no sixth member 207 00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:16,198 -and he tells that to everybody. -In any case, you’re ours now. 208 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,660 You can’t free yourself without a twist and I control them. 209 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,913 You don’t control every twist, Mr. Twist. I’ve got a twist for you. 210 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,457 Impossible! What is it? 211 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,127 Nice try! Like I didn’t see that coming 212 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,547 Fuck me. 213 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,717 -Great work, Morty! -I’m adapting! 214 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:35,885 Here’s our ticket outta here. 215 00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,929 They got him in a cell made outta of sports because it’s the opposite of story. 216 00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:41,807 -Do I want to ask who he is? -His name is Brett Caan. 217 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,685 He has the power to make things always have been other things. 218 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,480 I think that’s called retconning. But his name’s Brett Caan? 219 00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:50,232 Rhett’s a name too, his name could be Rhett Caan. 220 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,069 It is. And always has been, now. 221 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,197 Careful Morty. Stay clear of his retcon range. 222 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,698 Until he agrees to help us. 223 00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,867 Rick. You’ve always trusted me. 224 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,911 Nice try. Here’s how it’s gonna work. 225 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,205 You’re gonna make it so Morty and I never came here. 226 00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:07,333 Once that’s always been the case, I’ll free you remotely with this. 227 00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:08,834 What is my purpose? 228 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,669 To wait until I tell you to pull that lever. 229 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,129 You are fucking kidding me. 230 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:15,758 If you don’t free me right now Rick, I can make very, very bad things 231 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,510 always have been the case for you. 232 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:18,636 Is that a threat, you fuck? 233 00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:20,763 -You can rot in there. -Rick. 234 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:24,308 You know what, Rhett? Forget what I said, we’ve always been friends. 235 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,559 Good one. 236 00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:29,105 Easy, Rhett. Don’t forget that coffee mug I gave you. 237 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,650 You always were able to be killed with coffee. 238 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,821 New plan. Run. Again. 239 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:41,117 -The twist being... -You were born without bones. 240 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:43,869 See ya never! 241 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,957 There’s never been anything outside this fortress. 242 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,000 -Goddammit! -And this fortress 243 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,212 Has always been an orange! 244 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,801 -Great plan, Rick! -Yeah, I’m not pushing back on that Morty, 245 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,469 I have royally fucked us. 246 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,766 -It hurts. -We’ve been past the fourth wall too long. 247 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,309 We won’t be real much longer. 248 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:11,105 You killed us, Rick. You just had to hate meta storytelling. 249 00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:15,484 In my defense, Morty, I think you can agree my hate was justified. 250 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:21,031 Least earned death ever. 251 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,621 Death is a threshold. 252 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,796 -What, what happened? -You atoned. 253 00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:39,633 -Who, who are you? -I’m Joseph Campbell. Soup? 254 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:43,345 I almost considered not making it because my name is Campbell but, 255 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,348 then I thought, stay in the moment, Joe. Follow your bliss. 256 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,310 How are you here? Rhett Caan said there was nothing. 257 00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:53,564 Some things never change about mythology. There’s always an old man with soup. 258 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,900 Name one story that doesn’t have one. 259 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,152 -Jack and the Beanstalk. -Basketball Diaries. 260 00:12:58,235 --> 00:12:59,862 -Every Matrix. -Every movie ever. 261 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,947 Alright, I don’t have to defend myself to you people. 262 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,324 Where’s my soup? 263 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,952 Previous Fuckin’ Leon? Why is that prick here? 264 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,205 No more a prick than you, friend. 265 00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,540 Meta characters erode reality. 266 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,792 But all characters are meta, Rick. 267 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:18,214 All of us are nourished and consumed by chaos, like newborns at the breast 268 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,217 of a meth addict in a lifeboat filled with forks. 269 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:24,303 -I know what you have to do, Rick. -Scrub Campbell’s browser history? 270 00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,096 Just trust Previous Leon. 271 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,432 Could you Previously us a way home? 272 00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:32,770 -I’ll sure enjoy trying. -Yeah I bet you would. 273 00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:37,399 Rick can’t change, Morty. Change is what you might call his Kryptonite. 274 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:41,320 Except, instead of being super, he’s, you know, kind of a pussy. 275 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:42,905 Let’s do it. 276 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,367 Previously on Rick. 277 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,619 -Get off him! Get off him! -Oh boy. 278 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,206 -He almost killed you! -Okay, well I feel bad, 279 00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:54,083 I kind of pressured you into trying that. 280 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,043 -You called me a pussy! -I said I feel bad! 281 00:13:56,752 --> 00:14:00,798 This is a map to a region rich in narrative ore. 282 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,550 I wish you the best of luck. 283 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,719 Faster, Morty! I’d help but I can’t blister my inventing hands. 284 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,179 -How long will it take? -Years. 285 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,597 You can live in my wood shed. 286 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,267 -Just don’t open the door after dark. -Why not? 287 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,352 Get out here you Communist Jews! 288 00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:15,271 Dude. Maybe I’m not an alcoholic. 289 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:18,065 -I know, right? -You fucking Back to the Future ripoffs! 290 00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:20,859 -It’s ready. -Rick, I should stay. 291 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,236 -Why? -I’m pregnant. 292 00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:23,529 -What are you doing? -It wasn’t him, Rick! 293 00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,281 -Then who? -Me. 294 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:28,784 I never left. But you had to think all this happened to make that. 295 00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:31,787 -And I can get this through the titles? -If you hang on tight. 296 00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,789 What about my beard and unborn child? 297 00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:35,124 Let them go. 298 00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,084 -Thank you, Leon. -When you get home Rick, 299 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,753 do some classic adventures. Like season one. 300 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,464 I’m so sick of that fucking note, what the fuck does it even mean? 301 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,309 Now. One last time. What’s my motivation? 302 00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:57,646 Motivation. This machine will syphon it from everyone in the universe. 303 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,356 Perfect. Greenlit. Launch it. 304 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:06,113 I think it’s working. Yes, I can feel it! 305 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:08,782 Something I did is actually affecting someone! 306 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,038 I don’t want to work anymore. 307 00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:17,374 I do, but only as an excuse to not practice guitar. 308 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,174 Why don’t we just write any number down on the score sheet? 309 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:26,342 Why even do that? 310 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:31,930 Wait, you have to register? 311 00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:37,019 Yes! I can feel it! I’m so motivated! 312 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,271 I want a lot! 313 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:42,941 Story time’s over. 314 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,694 -Hardly your decision. -Did you seriously 315 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,113 double down on motivation as your motivation? 316 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,282 -It’s a good idea. -There’s no such thing! 317 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,951 There’s joyful and there’s joyless. And we’ve had our fill of one. 318 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:56,246 Morty, make that sweaty writer stop working while I kill off his character. 319 00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:00,793 I have never been more driven to destroy someone. 320 00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,670 Yeah well I’m driven to lower my blood sugar 321 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:05,089 but guess who’s getting tacos after he kicks your ass? 322 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,050 So you’re jacked, who cares? 323 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,345 -Cum gutters. -I don’t like that phrase. 324 00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:12,513 I don’t take notes. 325 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,144 You can’t beat me, Rick. 326 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,564 -I have one million times your motivation! -So do those guys 327 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,566 with the cell phone kiosks at the mall. 328 00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:53,429 -The hair is wrong. -Like you’d be picky about licensing. 329 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,389 Actually, I would. I happen to believe that... 330 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,523 -You can do that? -You gotta want it. 331 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,359 Come on, just stop, I don’t wanna fight you. 332 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,279 Kid, I’m a writer that wrote something successful, 333 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,447 so if you want me to give it up 334 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,574 you’re gonna need a black belt or a big pair of tits. 335 00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:17,161 -Yeah well I don’t have those. -In the mythical sense, I have both. 336 00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:20,122 -Joseph Campbell? -Yeah, nice try. He died in the eighties. 337 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,416 Only you can see and hear me Morty. 338 00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,418 -Just repeat what I tell you. -Okay. 339 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:30,466 Sir. You’re only proud of your creation’s success because you want to be creative, 340 00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:34,219 but creation doesn’t happen through gimmicks, technology and distribution. 341 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,679 It doesn’t even happen through work. 342 00:17:36,054 --> 00:17:40,225 Creativity is frankly adjacent to mental and overlaps with it substantially. 343 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:43,437 A lot of talented people kill themselves and all of them are miserable. 344 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,981 The real gift is to be ungifted, 345 00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:48,150 and from what I saw in your Green Arrow spec script, 346 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,612 -that’s the gift you were given. -You couldn’t have seen that. 347 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:53,405 I’m Joseph Campbell. I saw it. 348 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,241 -The villain was a placeholder. -I said I saw it Jan, 349 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:59,995 I didn’t say I could get past page five. Your villains aren’t the problem. 350 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:02,289 The problem is, when you write, you’re a villain. 351 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,666 If you want to be a hero, just stop. 352 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,675 You know what? Maybe I will register. 353 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,679 Say it! Tell me I’m the new Mr. Nimbus! 354 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,352 -Oh looks like your writer took a hiatus. -Oh fuck. 355 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:26,772 You’re less motivated to fight now so this is literally punching down 356 00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:27,856 but you’ve got it coming. 357 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:33,779 Please, lemme live. I promise to be cooler. 358 00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:37,032 I’ll be less inside baseball, maybe I change my name? 359 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:44,039 -You failed me. -No, I failed you. 360 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:49,294 All good things must come to an end. 361 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,964 All bad things too though, so don’t flatter yourself. 362 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:55,134 Jan, Joseph Campbell says you have to be the one to put him down. 363 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,553 Wait wait wait, Joseph Campbell also says 364 00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,472 you have to use this brand new limited edition Rick plush, 365 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:03,559 available only on Rick dash plush dot biz. 366 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,227 -Supplies are limited. Act now. -He did? 367 00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:20,826 Jesus, that’s the last time I buy a toy from a Rick. 368 00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,411 The plushies are obviously well made. 369 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:32,296 -Thanks for getting us back alive, Rick. -Well, I am a master of both worlds Morty. 370 00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:39,094 Joseph Campbell told me to stop writing. Because it should be effortless. 371 00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:41,430 When it happens organically, that’s when it’s meant to be. 372 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,307 Y’know, like, like me. 373 00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,684 I’m a writer, here’s a pencil. Writers use pencils. 374 00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:47,269 Okay so like what if like a pencil used me? 375 00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:49,897 Like okay. Yeah. Okay. 376 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,941 so it’s like a magic pencil that writes the writer’s life. 377 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:57,404 holy shit, it’s a movie about a writer! I am back! 378 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,316 I’m Tag-Man. I live in the tag. 379 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:39,863 I am the tag. I’m Tag-Man. Tag-tag of the episode Man. 380 00:20:40,238 --> 00:20:42,950 Did you get any of that? When, yeah, when, an episode’s over, look out, 381 00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:46,662 because here comes Tag-Man! And I’m crazy! 382 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:51,667 Tag-man! Imma tag your ass! Tag dat ass. 383 00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:56,672 Tag-Ass-Man! I’m an Ass-Man now! I’m a, I’m a Tag-Man! 384 00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,841 Here’s what you get, here’s your tag! Yeah, you want some more? 385 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,344 You want, you want some more tag you sick piece of shit?! 386 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,012 I’m, because I’m Tag Man! 387 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:10,310 I miss my wife. Too bad, this is it! Tag-Man, yeah!