1 00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:07,215 Previously, on "Rick and Morty"... 2 00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:09,259 Jerry, I had sex with your wife. 3 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:10,301 Ohhh! 4 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,137 I did it! I fixed portal travel! 5 00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:14,180 Jack the Ripper, at your service. 6 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,932 Cool! This happened too? 7 00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:16,933 I'm pregnant. 8 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:18,685 Honey, she's just like you! 9 00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,645 It's raining meatballs! Okay, something is -- 10 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,231 Jerry Smith died doing what he loved -- 11 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:24,774 getting stung by bees. 12 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,025 Off. Off what? 13 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,153 Have some respect. It's Dad's funeral. 14 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,988 I'm gonna name you Jerry Jr. 15 00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,448 Thanks for solving that murder, guys. 16 00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,491 Here's a skateboard. Aw, thanks, Tony Hawk! 17 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:34,951 -Morty, say you'll marry me! -What? -What? 18 00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:36,244 Just say yes! Yes? 19 00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,621 Okay... Rick, do you promise to -- 20 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,707 I do, and for our honeymoon let's go to a sealed chamber 21 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,500 lined with ionized deuterium! Why? 22 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,753 Because the charge acts as a narrative decelerant. 23 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,087 Morty, none of this is real. 24 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,006 We're in a "previously on" spiral. Clear your head. 25 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,924 After all that's happened?! No. 26 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,552 I-I'm innocent! I didn't release those bees! 27 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:53,553 I love Jerry! 28 00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:55,221 What'd I just say? When? 29 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,724 Okay, great execution. [ Burps ] Let's go back to the chamber. 30 00:00:57,807 --> 00:01:00,810 Now repeat after me, Morty -- "Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'" 31 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,479 Next time on "Rick and Morty"? 32 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,481 No. Previously, on "Rick and Morty"... 33 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,983 Ignore it, Morty. "Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'" 34 00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,318 It counteracts his toxins. 35 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,236 Next time on "Rick and Morty." Whose toxins? 36 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,654 Previous Leon: Hey, stop it! 37 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,031 Previous Leon! Grab him! 38 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,699 [ Grunting ] Hold on tight, Morty! 39 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,743 We got to get through the opening titles! 40 00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:18,286 Morty: Opening titles of what? 41 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:20,330 Whoa! We're in space! Previous Leon: Let go of me! Ow! 42 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,999 [ Indistinct shouting ] 43 00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:25,251 Morty: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 44 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,545 [ Grunting ] 45 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,005 What planet is this? 46 00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:30,340 Cover your eyes on this part. 47 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:33,176 Rick: Oh, my god, it's a giant squirrel! 48 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,053 Why are we dressed like old-timey people? 49 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,347 What the hell's going on? 50 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:38,515 [ Indistinct shouting ] 51 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:39,891 Why is my dad in a suit? 52 00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,393 Rick: Best episode! Morty: Why am I butter? 53 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,561 Okay, we're almost through. 54 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,188 Ohh! Ohh! 55 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,648 ♪♪ 56 00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:47,774 Ow! 57 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,153 Ugh, and we're back! 58 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,196 Stop! 59 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:54,364 Let go of me! What just happened? 60 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,825 Why was there music? 61 00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,952 Because of this conceptual little piece of shit! 62 00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,370 Grab his feet! 63 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,705 If we have opening titles, d-does that mean that we're a -- 64 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,582 Let your body purge the meta-venom, Morty. 65 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,835 Don't succumb to his pointless self-aware bullshit. 66 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,920 It's not pointless, it's cool! 67 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:12,006 He's got a gun! Eat lead, pussy! 68 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,217 No, no, no! 69 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,385 Fuck! 70 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,887 Oh! 71 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:18,930 Son of a... 72 00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:20,223 Did he use a portal? He wishes. 73 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,558 He wriggled back to the meta layer 74 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:22,767 through a hole in the fourth wall. 75 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,185 Put these on and help me find it. 76 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,189 I-I don't like this, Rick. 77 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:30,149 Yeah, you shouldn't. It's not a likable premise. 78 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,402 I mean it's funny when I do a little nod to the viewers, but... 79 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,487 What viewers?! That's the right attitude, Morty. 80 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,573 A few carefree verbal asides, always by me. 81 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,992 None of this season-three "Moonlighting" shit. 82 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,076 Okay, here it is. 83 00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:41,327 You're going to -- to patch it? 84 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,037 No, he subverted actual reality, Morty. 85 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,082 [ Burps ] He needs to be put down like a rabid dog. 86 00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:53,923 ♪♪ 87 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,425 Ow! Fuck! 88 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,510 Oh, yeah, no, you don't wanna wear those over here. 89 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,388 Maybe he went down that road? 90 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:02,307 No, no, no. If he took that, he'd end up a hero. 91 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,100 Damn it, Rick. I don't like this. 92 00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,310 I-Is this whole place just -- 93 00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:06,936 A bunch of groan-inducing wordplay 94 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,897 for seven TV critics that won't even enjoy it? 95 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,398 It's worse than you think, Morty. 96 00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:11,983 We're basting in meta radiation right now. 97 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,027 Our credibility is being permanently eroded. 98 00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,320 Every second we spend here 99 00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,155 is the equivalent to 10 "Space Jam" cameos. 100 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,532 You should have thought of that...previously! 101 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,617 Get him! 102 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,119 ♪♪ 103 00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:25,914 Ow! Ow! 104 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,123 Oh, no! 105 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:29,042 Bless me, Heavenly Father, for you will save me. 106 00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,210 Now I feel bad. Let's just get out of here. 107 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,462 Because he prays? 108 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,672 You know Hitler was Catholic, right? 109 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,798 I'm here, Leon. 110 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:36,966 Uhh... Okay. 111 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,843 He apparently prays very well. 112 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,762 Time for you two to meet the Lord. 113 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:41,888 That's okay, we're good. 114 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,306 Treat it like a bear attack. 115 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,391 Just walk backwards and make yourself look big. 116 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,353 I love a good refusal of the call. 117 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,188 Hello, Rick. 118 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:52,065 Hello... Amish Juggler? 119 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,275 His name is Story Lord. 120 00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,777 Story...Lord? 121 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,362 Listen, trust me, take Amish Juggler. 122 00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:58,905 You can have it. Story Lord. 123 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,491 Rick, h-he's the villain from that toy train I bought you. 124 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,825 Very good, Morty. 125 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,577 The fictional versions of you trapped me 126 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,829 in a Bible show for children, but I used make-believe Christ 127 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,999 to transcend fiction and enter meta-reality. 128 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,502 Now I'm the one doing the trapping. 129 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,087 Leon was the bait. 130 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,630 Bait?! Jesus? 131 00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:17,465 Aaah! 132 00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:18,591 Aah! 133 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,719 Don't ever...! Dumb mother...! 134 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,847 [ Grunting ] 135 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,224 You're using Jesus to beat us up? 136 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,642 Have you seen "South Park"? 137 00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:28,851 Good call-out, Morty. 138 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,353 That's the kind of meta I like, 139 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,563 the kind that keeps us creatively accountable. 140 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:36,109 Oh, God. Not the Bane. Not the Bane! 141 00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:40,405 He Baned me, Morty. Oh, Jesus Baned me. 142 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:43,616 Y-You can't beat me up. I-I'm -- I'm -- I'm technically a Christian child! 143 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,618 And I'm your worst nightmare. 144 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,912 I'm the Jesus from every Jesus joke. 145 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,122 The one without a God. 146 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,749 Morty! Take this and get out! 147 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,543 Thank you. 148 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,753 Looks like Story Lord's story is about to become... 149 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,380 based on real events. 150 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:58,589 What do you want with that? 151 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,341 I want what any character wants. 152 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,676 Motivation! 153 00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:03,052 What? [ Burps ] That's dumb. 154 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,178 So lazy! 155 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:08,224 Forward your notes to my ass! 156 00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:09,642 Wait, what? He just left. 157 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:12,395 Kind of makes you want to be our unlikely ally, huh? 158 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,438 Oh, I guess not. 159 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:14,897 [ Squelches ] [ Groans ] 160 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:18,401 Previously, on Jesus Christ... 161 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,028 Hey, I'm Jesus. I'm Mary. 162 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:22,196 That's my mom's name! Stop. [ Laughs ] 163 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,364 Dude, she's a hooker. 164 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,450 She's a better disciple than you! 165 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,369 Ow! Aw! Owww! 166 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:31,456 [ Gasps ] Oh, no. 167 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,790 I can't die. 168 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,376 [ French accent ] I 'ave a proposition for you. 169 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,919 I work alone. 170 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:42,175 If I suck-a your blood, I'll be invincible! 171 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:43,968 I think! You'll never know. 172 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,261 Aah! 173 00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:47,513 Billionaire immortal entrepreneur Jesus Christ 174 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,224 has placed all his money into what he's calling 175 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,101 a "second chance at love." 176 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,770 Hang on, Mary! 177 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:56,606 The data! So beautiful! 178 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,358 Make me normal, witch. 179 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,695 Take it all! 180 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,781 Eat your pudding, Mr. Christ. 181 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:05,865 What are you smiling at? 182 00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,451 [ Chuckles ] Your name. 183 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,912 [ Monitor beeping ] 184 00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:12,413 What's happening, Rick? 185 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,123 Leon's venom makes you think more and more of your life 186 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:18,169 is behind you as he feeds on your released potential. 187 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:20,046 Leon, y-you saved our lives! 188 00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:21,297 Oh, not yet he hasn't. 189 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,507 Jeez, Rick! So mean! 190 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,300 He's meta, Morty. His life doesn't matter. 191 00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:26,677 Yours does. That's why we need to get back. 192 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,722 Well, this doesn't feel like a citadel. 193 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,851 Uh, maybe it's cooler on the inside. 194 00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:36,854 [ Gasps ] This isn't what it looks like. 195 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,315 This is a very special diet for successful writers. 196 00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,150 Why do you look like my character? 197 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:45,029 I am your character! And you are going to improve me. 198 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,864 But you're Story Lord. You're great. 199 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,533 Great isn't good enough! 200 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:51,327 I've killed Rick and made myself real! 201 00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:54,080 I'm better than some shitty toy train. 202 00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,915 Is this your office or your apartment? 203 00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:57,834 Why does it smell like you sleep here? 204 00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,002 You're my creator. Why are you pathetic? 205 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,421 Because you failed! And whose fault is that? 206 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:03,840 What the hell happened? 207 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,591 You want to know what happened? Like, specifically? 208 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,177 Well, the Ricks wanted to do a "Canterbury Tales"-type thing, 209 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,512 but none of them have actually read 210 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:10,763 fucking "Canterbury Tales." 211 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,223 So then they told me to make it like 212 00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:13,724 the poker-game episode of the Batman cartoon 213 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,726 where the bad guys tell stories about Batman. 214 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,854 Then they kept telling me it "needed something." 215 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,689 Yeah, no shit, it needed something! 216 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,859 It needed to never be pitched! I did my job! 217 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,528 Goomby, the Ice Queen, the Tickets Please guy. 218 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:26,821 They just bailed on it! 219 00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,197 The website didn't even fucking work! 220 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,074 And it was a shitty URL to begin with, 221 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:33,202 "Story-dash-train"? Who uses a dash? 222 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,371 They set me up to fail. They fucked me! 223 00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:38,291 They fucked me and you're lucky I haven't blown my brains out! 224 00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:41,210 Right. Just give me a motivation, you hacky fart. 225 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,712 Okay, here's your motivation. 226 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:46,549 You're looking for motivation. You want all the motivation. 227 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,010 That's lazy. It got you this far. 228 00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,428 Must be nice, by the way. 229 00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,471 Wish I could afford to dress like a bisexual acting coach 230 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:53,806 from the '70s. 231 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,934 My motivation... is motivation. 232 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,352 Okay. Bye. 233 00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:02,106 Oh, no, my bitter friend. You're coming with me. 234 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,402 Yo! If you don't see me coming, it's a bad fortress! 235 00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:08,529 [ Gate opens ] 236 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,864 Where are we? 237 00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:11,699 Headquarters of the Self-Referential Six. 238 00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:12,909 They're meta nerds that found out 239 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,535 they could be less bearable as a team. 240 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,870 They can help us? 241 00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,246 No, but there's a prisoner here that can. 242 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,456 Shh. Don't tell them that. 243 00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:19,790 Rick Sanchez. 244 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,043 I've been waiting for this moment for years. 245 00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:25,171 Oh, good. Morty, this is Miss...Lead. 246 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,465 I should kill you where you stand. 247 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,051 I brought you Previous Leon. 248 00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:31,969 You'll want to lock him up in your detention center. 249 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,804 It's a trick! He wants your prisoner! 250 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,223 You dick. Liar! 251 00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,808 Talk about a mislead. Anti-meta field. 252 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:38,976 Fancy device. 253 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,270 I think I can recall the time you built it. 254 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,855 Don't try it, Flash Back! 255 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:47,235 You know, I-I'm excited about the upcoming election. 256 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,946 This forcefield will be impenetrable by meta-energy. 257 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,739 It runs on hydrogen isotopes. 258 00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:53,074 Hmmm. 259 00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:55,284 It runs on hydrogen isotopes. 260 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,287 A few barrels of petroleum should dampen it. 261 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,665 [ Chuckles ] Run, Morty! 262 00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:02,291 Were those not there before? 263 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:06,337 Guess there's been a...Connie TinuityError. 264 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,798 These people are the worst! I told you! Way overpowered! 265 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:10,841 [ Alarm blaring ] 266 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,051 Look out, Rick! 267 00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,928 Forget him. He's a nameless guard. 268 00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:16,973 That's Protago Nick. 269 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,183 His beam has the power to make any character the protagonist. 270 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,436 D-Duck! 271 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,146 Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. 272 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,148 Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. 273 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,150 Gah! What are you doing, Marvin?! 274 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,444 Not dying, that's what I'm doing. 275 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,030 Oh, what's going on? What happened? 276 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,700 I did it again, Katie. I ran out on another job. 277 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:39,704 Well, if you didn't do that, you wouldn't be my man. 278 00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:46,836 ♪♪ 279 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:54,010 ♪♪ 280 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,178 I was almost tempted to just let it go. 281 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,139 That's how much I hate it here. 282 00:09:58,222 --> 00:09:59,682 Smash cut! 283 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,100 Remember me, Rick? 284 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,143 Who's this guy, now? 285 00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,520 I am Mr. Twist. 286 00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:07,148 The fifth member of the Self-Referential Six. 287 00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:08,232 Who's the sixth? 288 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,526 That's the twist, Morty. It's you. 289 00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:11,694 What? Ignore him, Morty. 290 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,195 The twist is there's no sixth member 291 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,322 and he tells that to everybody. 292 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,906 In any case, you're ours now. 293 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,618 You can't free yourself without a twist, and I control them. 294 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,370 You don't control every twist, Mr. Twist. 295 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,040 I've got a twist for you. Impossible! What is it? 296 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,167 Aah! Aha! Nice try! 297 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,169 Like I didn't see that coming. 298 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,589 Fuck me. 299 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,342 Great work, Morty! I'm adapting! 300 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,718 Here's our ticket out of here. 301 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,219 They got him in a cell made out of sports 302 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,804 because it's the opposite of story. 303 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,181 Do I want to ask who he is? 304 00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,891 His name is Brett Caan. 305 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,518 He has the power to make things always have been other things. 306 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:45,895 I think that's called retconning. 307 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,396 B-But his name's Brett Caan? 308 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,940 I mean, Rhett's a name too. His name could be Rhett Caan. 309 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:52,902 It is. And always has been...now. 310 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,403 Whoa. Careful, Morty. 311 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,946 Stay clear of his retcon range. 312 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,073 Until he agrees to help us. 313 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,450 Rick, you've always trusted me. 314 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,535 Nice try. Here's how it's gonna work. 315 00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,579 You're gonna make it so Morty and I never came here. 316 00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:05,581 Once that's always been the case, 317 00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:06,832 I'll free you remotely with this. 318 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,709 What is my purpose? 319 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,586 To wait until I tell you to pull that lever. 320 00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:11,837 You are fucking kidding me. 321 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,381 If you don't free me right now, Rick, 322 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,508 I can make very, very bad things 323 00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,259 always have been the case for you. 324 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,427 Is that a threat, you fuck? 325 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,263 Y-Y-You can rot in there. Rick. 326 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,765 You know what, Rhett? Forget what I said. 327 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,266 We've always been friends. 328 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,726 Good one. 329 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:26,936 Whoa, easy, Rhett. 330 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,397 Don't forget that coffee mug I gave you. 331 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,650 You always were able to be killed with coffee. 332 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:35,027 Aaah! 333 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,946 New plan. Run. Again. 334 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,115 The twist being... 335 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,742 You were born without bones. 336 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,285 See ya never! 337 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,745 [ Laughs ] 338 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:47,540 There's never been anything outside this fortress. 339 00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:48,833 God damn it! 340 00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:53,629 And this fortress has always been an orange! 341 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,299 Pluh! Great plan, Rick! 342 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,801 Yeah, I'm not pushing back on that, Morty, 343 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,344 I have royally fucked us. 344 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,556 Ugh! It hurts. 345 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:05,266 We've been past the fourth wall too long. 346 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,059 We won't be real much longer. 347 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,811 You killed us, Rick. 348 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,772 You just had to hate meta storytelling. [ Groans ] 349 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:12,982 In my defense, Morty, 350 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,276 I think you can agree my hate was justified. 351 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,402 Ohh! 352 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:21,824 Least...earned...death... ever... 353 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:25,202 ♪♪ 354 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,913 Death is a threshold. 355 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:32,501 ♪♪ 356 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,628 Ugh! What -- What happened? 357 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:35,713 You atoned. 358 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,173 Who -- Who are you? 359 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,467 I'm Joseph Campbell. Soup? 360 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:42,636 I almost considered not making it because my name is Campbell, 361 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,222 but then I thought, stay in the moment, Joe. 362 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,390 Follow your bliss. 363 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,558 How are you here? 364 00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:49,018 R-Rhett Caan said there was nothing. 365 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,103 Some things never change about mythology. 366 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,397 There's always an old man with soup. 367 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,691 Name one story that doesn't have one. 368 00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:58,235 Uh, Jack and the Beanstalk. "Basketball Diaries." 369 00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,695 Every "Matrix." Every movie ever. 370 00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,530 Alright, I don't have to defend myself to you people. 371 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,282 Where's my soup? [ Coughs ] 372 00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:05,284 Rick: Previous Fuckin' Leon. 373 00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:07,203 Why is that prick here? 374 00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,787 No more a prick than you, friend. 375 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,207 Meta characters erode reality. 376 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,375 But all characters are meta, Rick. 377 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,295 All of us are nourished and consumed by chaos, 378 00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,756 like newborns at the breast of a meth addict 379 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:20,466 in a lifeboat filled with forks. 380 00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:22,259 I know what you have to do, Rick. 381 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,886 Scrub Campbell's browser history? 382 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,971 Just trust Previous Leon. 383 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,057 Could you previously us a way home? 384 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:31,352 Uh, well, I'll sure enjoy trying. 385 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:32,478 Yeah, I bet you would. 386 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,313 Rick can't change, Morty. 387 00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:36,899 Change is what you might call his Kryptonite. 388 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,567 Except instead of being super, 389 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,487 he's, you know, kind of a pussy. 390 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:42,696 Let's do it. 391 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,200 Previously, on Rick... 392 00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,910 [ Squelching ] Morty: Get him off! Get him off! 393 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:48,869 [ Ceramic breaks ] Oh, boy. 394 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,246 He almost killed you! 395 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,248 Okay, well, I feel bad, 396 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,083 I kind of pressured you into trying that. 397 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,043 You called me a pussy. I said I feel bad! 398 00:13:56,126 --> 00:14:00,422 This is a map to a region rich in narrative ore. 399 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,258 I wish you the best of luck. 400 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:05,427 Faster, Morty! I'd help, but I can't blister my inventing hands. 401 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,845 How long will it take? Years. 402 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,347 You can live in my wood shed. 403 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,808 Just don't open the door after dark. Why not? 404 00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,977 Get out here, you Communist Jews! 405 00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,770 Dude. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic. 406 00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:18,065 I know, right? You fucking "Back to the Future" rip-offs! 407 00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:19,483 It's ready. 408 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,484 Rick, I should stay. 409 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:21,944 Why? I'm pregnant. 410 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,280 What are you doing? It wasn't him, Rick! Then who?! 411 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,115 Me! I never left. 412 00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:28,450 But you had to think all this happened to make that. 413 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,160 And I can get this through the titles? 414 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,537 If you hang on tight. 415 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,455 What about my beard and unborn child? 416 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,499 Let them go. Thank you, Leon. 417 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,667 When you get home, Rick, 418 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,294 do some classic adventures. 419 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,504 Like season one -- I'm so sick of that fucking note. 420 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,549 What the fuck does it even mean? 421 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,388 Ohh! 422 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:52,141 Now, one last time. 423 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,268 What's my motivation? Motivation. 424 00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:57,313 This machine will siphon it from everyone in the universe. 425 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,815 Perfect. Greenlit. Launch it. 426 00:14:59,898 --> 00:15:02,693 [ Grunting ] 427 00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,361 Oh, I think it's working! 428 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,779 Yes, I can feel it! 429 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,657 Something I did is actually affecting someone! 430 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,077 ♪♪ 431 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,579 I don't want to work anymore. 432 00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:17,666 I do, but only as an excuse to not practice guitar. 433 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,920 ♪♪ 434 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,923 Why don't we just write any number down on the score sheet? 435 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,300 Oh, why even do that? 436 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:27,885 [ Telephone rings ] 437 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,220 ♪♪ 438 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,139 Wait, you have to register? 439 00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:34,350 Yes! I can feel it! 440 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,019 I'm so motivated! 441 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:39,772 I want...a lot! 442 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,023 [ Portal opens ] 443 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,691 Story time's over. 444 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,360 Ha! Hardly your decision. 445 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:47,863 Did you seriously double down on motivation as your motivation? 446 00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:49,073 It's a good idea! 447 00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:50,199 There's no such thing! 448 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,700 There's joyful and there's joyless, 449 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,035 and we've had our fill of one. 450 00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:54,828 Morty, make that sweaty writer stop working 451 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,789 while I kill off his character. 452 00:15:56,872 --> 00:16:00,751 I have never been more driven to destroy someone. 453 00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,336 Yeah, well, I'm driven to lower my blood sugar 454 00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:05,047 but guess who's getting tacos after he kicks your ass? 455 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,300 So you're jacked. Who cares? 456 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:09,802 [ Chuckles ] Cum gutters. 457 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,221 I don't like that phrase. I don't take notes. 458 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:15,099 [ Both roaring ] 459 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:18,852 You can't beat me, Rick. 460 00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:21,438 I have one million times your motivation! 461 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,900 So do those guys with the cellphone kiosks at the mall. 462 00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:27,778 [ Both grunting ] 463 00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:34,493 ♪♪ 464 00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:41,250 ♪♪ 465 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:48,924 ♪♪ 466 00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:49,967 [ Squeaking ] 467 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:51,218 The hair is wrong. 468 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,137 Like you'd be picky about licensing. 469 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,931 Actually, I would. I happen to believe that -- 470 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,434 [ Groans ] 471 00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,770 [ Grunts, laughs ] 472 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,105 You can do that? 473 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:04,481 You got to want it. 474 00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:06,942 Come on, just stop. I-I don't want to fight you. 475 00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:09,695 Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful. 476 00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,280 So if you want me to give it up, 477 00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,449 you're gonna need a black belt or a big pair of tits. 478 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,742 Yeah, well, I don't have those. 479 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:17,035 Campbell: In the mythical sense, I have both. 480 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,162 Joseph Campbell? 481 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,788 Yeah, nice try. He died in the '80s. 482 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,207 Only you can see and hear me, Morty. 483 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,333 Just repeat what I tell you. 484 00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,461 Okay. [ Clears throat ] 485 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:28,255 Sir, you're only proud of your creation's success 486 00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,965 because you want to be creative, 487 00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:32,092 but creation doesn't happen through gimmicks, 488 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,635 technology, and distribution. 489 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,387 It doesn't even happen through work. 490 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,640 Creativity is frankly adjacent to mental illness and overlaps 491 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:39,892 with it substantially. 492 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,477 A lot of talented people kill themselves 493 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,978 and all of them are miserable. 494 00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:45,481 The real gift is to be ungifted, 495 00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,983 and from what I saw in your Green Arrow spec script, 496 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,526 that's the gift you were given. 497 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,195 You couldn't have seen that. 498 00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,238 I'm Joseph Campbell. I saw it. 499 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,448 The villain was a placeholder. 500 00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:55,783 I said I saw it, Jan. 501 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,618 I didn't say I could get past page five. 502 00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,328 Y-Your villains aren't the problem. 503 00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:02,164 The problem is, when you write, you're a villain. 504 00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,792 If you want to be a hero, just stop. 505 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:07,377 [ Sniffles, sobs ] 506 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,510 You know what? Maybe I will register. 507 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:18,222 Say it! Tell me I'm the new Mr. Nimbus! 508 00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,017 Oh, looks like your writer took a hiatus. 509 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,393 Oh, fuck. 510 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,145 You're less motivated to fight now, 511 00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,731 so this is literally punching down, but you've got it coming. 512 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,192 [ Groaning ] 513 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,069 Please, let me live. 514 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:33,529 I promise to be cooler. 515 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:37,032 I'll be less inside baseball. Maybe I change my name? 516 00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:37,950 Ow! 517 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,119 You failed me. 518 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:44,081 No, I failed you. 519 00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,374 [ Coughs ] 520 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:49,002 All good things must come to an end- 521 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,964 All bad things too, though, so don't flatter yourself. 522 00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:53,257 Jan, Joseph Campbell says 523 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,883 you have to be the one to put him down. 524 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,094 Wait, wait, wait, Joseph Campbell also says 525 00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:00,305 you have to use this brand-new limited edition Rick plush, 526 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:03,058 available only on rick-plush.biz. 527 00:19:03,141 --> 00:19:04,560 Supplies are limited. Act now. 528 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:05,894 He did? 529 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,271 [ Squeaking, muffled grunting ] 530 00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,189 [ Grunting ] 531 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:13,652 Shhh. 532 00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:17,739 [ Breathes heavily ] 533 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:20,158 Jesus, that's the last time I buy a toy from a Rick. 534 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,828 Ooh, the plushies are obviously well made. 535 00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:29,710 Thanks for getting us back alive, Rick. 536 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,588 Well, I am a master of both worlds, Morty. 537 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,175 Joseph Campbell told me to stop writing. 538 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,844 Because it should be effortless. 539 00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:41,096 And when it happens organically, that's when it's meant to be. 540 00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:42,890 You know, like, um, like me. 541 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:45,309 I'm a writer, here's a pencil. Writers use pencils. 542 00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,935 Okay, so, like, what if, like, a pencil used me? 543 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,896 Like, um -- okay! Yeah! 544 00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,772 Okay, so it's like a magic pencil 545 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,441 that writes the writer's life -- 546 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:56,111 holy shit, it's a movie about a writer! 547 00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:58,363 I am back! 548 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:06,288 ♪♪ 549 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:14,171 ♪♪ 550 00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:22,054 ♪♪ 551 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:29,978 ♪♪ 552 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,272 Yeah, I'm Tag-Man! 553 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,816 I-I-I-I live in the tag! 554 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,652 I-I-I am the tag! 555 00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:37,736 I'm Tag-Man! 556 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,154 Tag -- Tag of the episode...man! 557 00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,656 "Did you get any of that?" 558 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,532 When the -- yeah, when an episode's over, look out, 559 00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:44,868 because, yaaaah, here comes Tag-Man! 560 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,496 And I'm -- I'm crazy! Tag-Man! 561 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:50,499 Yeah! I'm -- I'mma tag your ass! 562 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,792 Tag that ass. 563 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,210 Tag-Ass-Man! 564 00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:55,087 I'm an Ass-Man now! 565 00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:56,421 I'm a -- I'm a Tag-Man! 566 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,340 Here's what you get. Here's your tag! 567 00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,050 Yeah, you want some more? 568 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,052 You want -- you want some more tag you sick piece of shit?! 569 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:05,138 I'm -- because I'm Tag-Man! 570 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,640 I miss my wife. 571 00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:08,517 Too bad. This is it! 572 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,394 Tag-Man, yeah! 573 00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:11,895 [ Indistinct talking ] 574 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:13,480 Did you get any of that?