1 00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:07,590 I can't hold them off, Rick! There's too many! 2 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:15,932 Richard! Your fortress is a salty waste of coral and clam. 3 00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,100 Relinquish it at once! 4 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:27,444 -Submit, you continental cunt. -Got a better idea. 5 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,029 Oh shit, oh shit. 6 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,911 -Happy? -Of course I'm happy, 7 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,622 you're acting like you won but this is exactly what I wanted. 8 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,875 I am Mister Nimbus! 9 00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,002 Whatever. Come on, Morty. 10 00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:47,964 -Man, that was intense. -Yeah, nice work, buddy. 11 00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:49,883 Sorry I had to blow up your bunker. 12 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:55,847 Not so fast, Sanchez. It is I, Cookie Magneto. 13 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:56,973 What the fuck. 14 00:00:57,056 --> 00:01:00,185 -I'm not engaging this guy. -That's hardly up to you, Rick. 15 00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:03,188 I'm sorry, do you control things that people agree are cookies? 16 00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:05,732 -Yes. -Okay but cookies aren't a substance, 17 00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:08,485 -they're more of a name we-we give to -To the things I control 18 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:11,821 Do you control cookie ingredients, because y'know that sounds dangerous, 19 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:16,242 -y'know, everything has sugar in it. -Fight me and find ou... 20 00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:18,912 -Jesus, Rick! -I'm sorry, Morty, I know you're gonna say 21 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:21,498 it's punching down but I can't fight another one of these nineties 22 00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,875 style goofball super villains, I'm not the fucking Tick, 23 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,710 -I'm exhausted. -Okay but 24 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,630 if you really have a lot of these guys gunning for you maybe you should look 25 00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:31,508 -into what you're doing to... -Don't start that crap, Morty. 26 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,760 I don't do anything for these dipshits to seek me out 27 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,137 I am Mr. Calypso. 28 00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:41,309 Face me, you ugly, drunk, ugly piece of shit. 29 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:43,937 Okay I might look into it. 30 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,056 -Why don't you have a seat? -Because this isn't a therapy session, 31 00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:22,225 I'm just asking you what people in your racket 32 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,727 say about handling this particular situation. 33 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,355 First we'd want you to define the situation. 34 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:30,024 I'm a walking target for a neverending sea of angry nerds 35 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,901 that think getting in a fight with me is some kind of 36 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,571 I don't know, platform? I mean, look at this guy. 37 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,239 He shows up and calls me an "ugly drunk." 38 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,908 Because of course that's the angle of attack that's gonna undo me, right. 39 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:42,161 You don't shoot Batman in his fucking Batman logo. 40 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,497 And you think locking this man in a chamber 41 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,584 and milking him of cosmic fluid will somehow resolve this? 42 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:51,379 I think it's the best I can do to profit from a situation and maybe set an example. 43 00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:55,091 But you've set this example many times and it's not changing your situation. 44 00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,302 Yeah and now you're gonna tell me to ignore them 45 00:02:57,385 --> 00:03:00,680 -but guess what, they want that too. -And why would they want to be ignored? 46 00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,599 You really believe if I let a guy like this 47 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,893 do whatever he wants, he gets bored and vanishes? 48 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,604 Rick, would you be interested in proving me wrong? 49 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,814 -Yes. -Then show me data. 50 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,941 Ignore them for a week and see what happens. 51 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,943 You're on, bitch. 52 00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,029 Is that man dead? 53 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:18,615 Is everything in here confidential? 54 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,199 -Everything but murder. -Then he's fine. 55 00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,536 I mean, I think it's pretty big, you know? 56 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,288 Big step for the big cheese. 57 00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,999 -Yeah, Dad, I'm impressed. -Can we not make it a big deal? 58 00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,500 It's worth celebrating, Rick. 59 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,127 You accepted the concept of therapy 60 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:33,713 without turning yourself into a pickle or a housefly. 61 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:36,925 Jerry, for fuck's sake, that was a regular fly in her office that day. 62 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,177 -What the hell? -Rick! 63 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,054 How ‘bout a little piss? 64 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,514 Rick, why is there a man shooting piss 65 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,308 -on our front lawn? -I'm sure he'll tell you. 66 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:51,439 I am Pissmaster! Here to flush the toilet that is Rick Sanchez. 67 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:55,652 He's spraying my lavender bush. My bees need that lavender. 68 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,488 Remember five seconds ago when you guys were stoked about me changing 69 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,239 because it made you feel superior? 70 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:03,368 Whole family's here. Who's that redhead? 71 00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:05,578 Wouldn't mind spraying her with a golden shower. 72 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,121 -Oh my god, what? -Hey! 73 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,165 -Okay, that's it! -Jerry, please think about this, 74 00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,959 if you fight this guy, I'm either an asshole 75 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,627 for not helping or an asshole for helping. 76 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:16,547 My daughter just got spoken of in porno terms and I'll respond how I choose. 77 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:17,548 -Wait Dad, don't. -Honey. 78 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,593 -Hey. -You want a piece of piss? 79 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:24,180 If that's your stupid rude way of saying I have to fight you I will. 80 00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:27,100 -Take your shot, pussy. -Don't talk to me that way, 81 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,267 -go away. -Make me. 82 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,978 Go away. 83 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,023 Careful, honey! 84 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,368 Just stay down. 85 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,996 -I don't even know you. -Yeah you don't know me. 86 00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:50,873 But I'm gonna know your whole ass you son of a gun. 87 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,006 -Hey, none of that. Come on. -Break it up, guys. 88 00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:06,139 Come on, you dirty motherfucker. 89 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:12,937 No! No! 90 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,068 Stop! 91 00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:24,323 Uncle! Mercy! Mercy! Stop! I give up! 92 00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:27,618 -Apologize to my daughter. -For what? 93 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,412 You know for what! 94 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:35,668 I'm sorry! I'm sorry I sexualized you! It came out wrong! 95 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:39,464 That's my dad. That's my fucking dad! 96 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,135 Honey, I'm so proud of you. 97 00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:47,972 -Oh sorry. -Thank you, Rick. 98 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,810 Damn, hashtag FlamingoDad is everywhere! 99 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:56,606 Buzzfeed made an odd numbered list of other people's observations about you 100 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,775 and you're getting a lot of hand clap emojis 101 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,818 on White Twitter's impression of Black Twitter. 102 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:04,280 Jezebel's offering a cash reward for evidence that you're a bad person. 103 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:07,325 -That is their highest honor! -So this is what it's like to trend. 104 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:08,701 Feels good. 105 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,078 -Feels right. -Just keep in mind now 106 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,080 a bunch more assholes are gonna know they can get a rise out of you. 107 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:16,292 -Rick, let a dog have one day. -I'm letting. I'm letting. 108 00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:20,379 Are those orbs? 109 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,173 This is what I'm talking about. 110 00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:25,718 Some asshole saw that fight and believe it not, they were jealous of Pissmaster. 111 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:33,643 I am Blagnar the Eternal. We seek the earthling who beat up Pissmaster. 112 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,144 That's my dad, Jerry Smith! 113 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:40,066 Jerry Smith. Our Galactic Orbship thirsts for justice and those who deliver it. 114 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:41,317 -Wait, what? -Our great council 115 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:45,988 would like to offer you this silver orb. And with it, a place amongst us. 116 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,658 -It's sticky. -Yeah. 117 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:51,202 That means it's found a pure heart it wants to bond with. 118 00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:54,163 you guys saw my son-in-law on the news, now he gets a sticky orb, 119 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,082 what's the catch? We're not rubes. 120 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:58,960 Yeah your power is well known in our jurisdiction, Rick Sanchez, 121 00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:02,547 and it should come as no surprise that our orbs are unsticky for you. 122 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:06,342 Oh no, first I get banned from the Next Door app, now this. 123 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:08,886 I'd be honored to join your organization. 124 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:13,141 So what do I do, rub the orb when I see crime, or eat the orb like spinach? 125 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:17,145 The orb is raw power. Trust your heart, Jerry. 126 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,729 It will know what to do. 127 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:28,573 -Did you turn on the microwave? -No? Maybe? I was trying to fly. 128 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,076 -What? -I mean, come on, Rick. 129 00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:35,872 -Orbs and goblets, this is your thing. -Orbs and goblets. 130 00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:39,500 I'm just saying, you're the orb guy in the family. Can you please help me? 131 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,170 Jerry, I give you raw power, you'll end up miserable like me. 132 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:45,006 -Trust me, I'm helping by not helping. -Seriously, Rick? 133 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:48,384 What the eff, Grandpa! Some creep tried to pee on my tits and you did nothing, 134 00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:51,220 now you're gonna sit there and hold our dad back from being a hero? 135 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,890 -Are you seriously that petty? -Okay, you know what, fine! 136 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,808 Here. Here's your goddamn suit. 137 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,186 I hard-wired the orb's infinite energy right into it. 138 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,229 This shooty-thing looks cool. 139 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,774 That "shooty thing" is a nuclear disruptor that can blow up planets. 140 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,276 -So tight. -Kinda hot. 141 00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:09,780 Ok show me acts of evil happening around the galaxy. 142 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:15,369 Space Hitlers? "Space Hitlers are convening on Zeplar Prime." 143 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,747 My god, each one of them is their own type of Hitler 144 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,207 -Yeah, that's a problem. -Oh shit, do that one. 145 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,250 -You guys. -That's my parents. 146 00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:27,548 Well family, looks like Jerry Smith has his first orb mission. 147 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,926 Lawn Flaming-ho! 148 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,429 Just a reminder, you guys asked for this. 149 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:38,309 Soon, our legion of Hitlers will bring about a new galactic order. 150 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,229 -A reich, if you will. -Riddle Hitler me this. 151 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,023 I'm sorry, are we just letting in all Hitlers now? 152 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:48,486 -Auf wiedersehen, bad guys! -Exterminate him! 153 00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:51,197 Shit, oh Jesus. One at a time! 154 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:54,784 Oh my god! 155 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,708 Hope there weren't other people on that planet. 156 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,629 And there were no other people on the planet. Only Hitlers. 157 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,965 Each one ready to start their own holocaust, 158 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:12,718 meaning an estimated thirty billion lives were saved by a single blast. 159 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:16,931 And the galaxy owes it all to Jerry Smith. Hashtag FlamingoDad. 160 00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:20,935 -You gotta be fucking kidding me. -Up next, oh actually nothing. 161 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:22,853 I guess we're just gonna talk about Jerry Smith some more. 162 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:29,026 I dunno, therapy is starting to feel hopeless. I've got so many issues! 163 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,154 -We need to talk. -Hey. No. 164 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:36,659 I will not speak with you if you refuse to treat me and my patients with respect. 165 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:44,250 Oh lord. I was a fly! So unburdened, so free of shame! 166 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,501 Welp, I'm officially cured! 167 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,504 Here. Here's your data. Hard proof that god hates me. 168 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,965 I ignored a troll and Jerry beat the guy's ass. 169 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,968 Now he's got this orb and he's using the power which I gave him 170 00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:56,887 to annihilate planets of Hitlers and everyone's popping champagne. 171 00:09:57,305 --> 00:10:00,683 Rick, you came here because you wanted things to change and they're changing. 172 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:01,767 It's working. 173 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:05,438 So if my bumbling moron of a son-in-law beats up people, it's "working". 174 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,398 But if I do it, it's a cosmic abuse of power? 175 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,066 Rick, listen to yourself. 176 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:12,445 You're complaining about how you have to be careful with your immense power. 177 00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:16,115 And that Hitlers are dead. Everything you're describing is positive. 178 00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:20,494 Oh shit, not reacting. That really is the kill move? 179 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,164 I don't know if you need to think about it in terms of murder, 180 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,874 but yes just stay the course. 181 00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:28,210 -Okay, good talk. -Well what you're describing is therapy 182 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,962 and if you'd like to keep receiving it, 183 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,381 start scheduling your visits with Judy up front. 184 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,593 Thank you, thank you Flamingo Fam. 185 00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,554 you know, when they asked me if I wanted to be the first human 186 00:10:38,637 --> 00:10:42,391 to drive a Mitsubishi Space Lancer, I thought well I don't know, 187 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,936 I got this cool orb suit that goes really fast. But you know what sold me? 188 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:50,107 The Council said I could pick my own bridge crew. 189 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,735 Morty, Summer, Beth, what do you say? 190 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,405 -What? Are you serious? -Oh shit yeah, I love Mitsubishi! 191 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,407 -Me too! I've heard of them! -This is so exciting! 192 00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,992 Oh my god this is so cool! 193 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,328 Alright gang, orbs away! 194 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:13,130 O me o my, can it be? A giant piece of shit I see? 195 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,929 I am Mr. Stringbean! No one resists my rhyming scheme! 196 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,098 Hey douchebag, why don't you chill out? 197 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:25,351 -Who's this asshole? -I am Doctor Buckles! 198 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,353 Here to tighten the belt on your opinions! 199 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,439 You wanna see the Bean get mean? 200 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:36,112 I'll be damned. I'm out. 201 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,364 I'm out. 202 00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:42,868 I'm-I'm out. 203 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,705 Oh my god, this Piss Guy is getting wailed on. 204 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,459 Look at him, he tried to crawl under the car. What a loser. 205 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,586 -Hey you watching the Pissmaster video? -Yeah. 206 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,548 He has to be the biggest piece of shit in the galaxy, right? 207 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,260 Without a doubt. Who could relate, being that much of a piece of shit. 208 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:35,921 Goddamnit. 209 00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:42,261 Fuck, shit, come on man. Fuck, come on where is it? Shit, shit. 210 00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:46,724 Fuck! 211 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,352 Come on Pissmaster, come on. 212 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,527 Damn it. 213 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:09,580 It's me. Please, please just open up 214 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:14,168 Dad? Mom told me you weren't responding to her calls and I'm worried, okay? 215 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,962 I know I said terrible things about you on my podcast, 216 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,298 it's just, I've been so frustrated with you. 217 00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:22,968 Look, if you were to ever do something I'd never stop blaming myself. 218 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,261 Just, please. 219 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,680 -Please let me know you're okay. -God damn it. 220 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,561 -I'm okay honey, we're good. -I thought something happened to you. 221 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,064 I can tell you for sure. If anything happens to me, 222 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:37,650 it's 100% not on you, it's my own choice. 223 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,736 You still sound like you're gonna do something bad. 224 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,405 Just promise you won't, okay? 225 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:47,409 -Okay, yeah. Promise. -Love you, Dad. 226 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,082 Fuck. 227 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:06,971 Well this is it. I'm killing myself because of Jerry Smith. The Earth man. 228 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:12,351 FlamingoDad. Seeing them all cheer as I got my ass whipped made me realize. 229 00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:19,149 People just wanna see me fail. All I've ever wanted to do is prove them wrong. 230 00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:35,791 Help! 231 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,004 Wait! Who are you? 232 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:44,341 Pissmaster. Make, make sure you tell everybody Pissmaster saved you. 233 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,386 Those were heat-seeking pissiles by the way. Not just missiles. 234 00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:49,263 Oh, okay. 235 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:50,639 Y'all ready for piss? 236 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,768 Yo! Pissmaster! You saving that cat to make people forget you suck? 237 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,437 Nope, just saving it to save it. 238 00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:57,730 Okay, we got nothing. 239 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:10,492 Piss! Pee! Urine! Number one! 240 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:16,957 Pee pee! Piss! Pee pee! -Look, it's Pissmaster! 241 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,045 Dr. Wong, what's up? 242 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:24,006 -Rick, you're late for your session. -Cancel it. Bill me. I'm good. 243 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:25,633 You're good? 244 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:28,344 Yeah see, I put on the suit of my enemy and I fucking love it. 245 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,554 Now I'm gonna make a giant bomb, plant it in a city, 246 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:33,015 and then have his suit auto-pilot the bomb into space. 247 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:36,101 Boom. Everyone will think Pissmaster sacrificed himself. 248 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:40,147 He dies a hero, I get a win I'd otherwise never get myself, nice wet bow on top. 249 00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:44,860 I'm tempted to second guess a lot of that but I think you might be nailing it. 250 00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:47,488 -What? -If it's free and fun, do it. 251 00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:48,614 It sounds healthy. 252 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,575 That wasn't my goal but, good to know. Shit, gotta go. 253 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:04,797 No, exactly. And the slave planet thing, 254 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,591 I hear he broke their chains with pure urine, so. 255 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:13,055 Hey guys, sorry I'm late, lot of traffic on the orbway. 256 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:17,643 Take a seat, Jerry. We were just discussing Pissmaster's honorable rise. 257 00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:18,894 I mean, who cares, right? 258 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,898 People are talking about him. He's becoming likable. Good, even. 259 00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:25,776 -But he's Pissmaster. -People change, Jerry. 260 00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:27,486 Everyone loves a comeback story. 261 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:28,529 -Yes. -I agree. 262 00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:33,867 All in favor of offering orbship to Eugene Michael Piss, aka Pissmaster? 263 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:34,993 -Orb-yes. -Orb-yes. 264 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,871 -All those opposed? -Obviously orb-no. 265 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,081 The orbship has spoken. 266 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,794 You know what Jerry, I think this is a good test for you. 267 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:47,339 If you can't let go of your pettiness enough to recruit Pissmaster, 268 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:53,721 maybe you don't deserve your orb. And Jerry. Don't come back without him. 269 00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:58,600 Absolute chaos! No one knows who planted the bomb, but one thing is clear. 270 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:04,106 Orphan Island, a city populated entirely by orphans, now sits on the brink of doom. 271 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,526 The Orphan Island bomb squad is trying to dismantle it as we speak. 272 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:12,740 I can't stress enough, I'm 8 years old, I have no idea what I'm doing! 273 00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,825 Look! It's Pissmaster! 274 00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:18,412 Oh no, there's no time to dismantle it! Come on, it's not safe here. 275 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,832 Pisspop? Pisspop? Pisspop? 276 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,836 -Pissmaster. -Jerry, what are you doing here? 277 00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:30,799 Eugene Michael Piss. By decree of the Andromeda strain, our great council 278 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,135 presents you with this orb, which you have to take. 279 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,095 Fuck off, Jerry, I'm in the middle of something. 280 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:38,432 Excuse me? Hey, this is the greatest honor you could ever be given. 281 00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:40,267 -I don't want it! -Well you have to take it. 282 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,144 Jesus Christ, get the fuck out of here! 283 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,608 He's flying it into space! He's gonna sacrifice himself! 284 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,612 Get back here, you ungrateful shit! 285 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:52,821 What is your problem? 286 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,199 -You're screwing up my hero death! -Good! 287 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:58,869 FlamingoDad wants us to blow up? When did he become a shitheel? 288 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,662 Life comes at you fast. 289 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,791 -Jesus, Dad! People are filming! -Yeah, maybe dial it back? 290 00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,425 -Rick? -PissSuit! 291 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,344 -Auto-pilot the payload! -Confirmed. 292 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,983 That's my fucking dad. 293 00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:37,032 -Jerry? -Dad, are you okay? 294 00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:39,743 Your father is the fucking Pissmaster! 295 00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:41,537 Grandpa? What the hell? 296 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,542 Jerry, what is this? People are saying you turned shitheel? 297 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:50,295 Well apparently my father-in-law is Pissmaster so why don't you ask him? 298 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:54,842 What the? Rick Sanchez, thePissmaster? Okay, this is not a good look. 299 00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:56,635 This family, man 300 00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:59,429 Look, I don't know what kinda weird shit you two are pulling 301 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,682 but it's completely unstickworthy. We're done here. 302 00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:06,812 But I didn't know! I'm a good guy, I made you all famous! 303 00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:08,188 I'm a thousand years old. 304 00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:12,234 You know how many "Flamingo Dads" I've seen? Don't orb us. 305 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:18,115 I don't get it. You were Pissmaster the whole time? 306 00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:21,243 Obviously not, Jerry, I put the suit on once Pissmaster kill... 307 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,412 When, when you made him... 308 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,624 Yeah. I've always been Pissmaster. 309 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:31,378 But, that would mean you let my dad beat you up just so he could, like, 310 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,213 feel more confident? 311 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,591 -Damn, Rick. -Yeah that's amazing. 312 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:40,429 Hold on, everyone's just accepting this? Wait wasn't Pissmaster an alien? 313 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,180 -He obviously avatar'd it. -Probably a robot. 314 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:43,640 But why? Why would Rick even 315 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,392 -prop me up like that? -Jesus, Jerry. 316 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:48,937 Rick did something nice for once okay? He's obviously trying to change. 317 00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:54,067 You are no longer worthy of Mitsubishi. 318 00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:59,531 Proud of you, Dad. Or should I say: Pissmaster. 319 00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,825 Yeah Grandpa, sorry I yelled at you. 320 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,286 And I guess I'm sorry for trying to 321 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,914 stop you from killing yourself with a nuclear bomb, I just... 322 00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:09,374 really liked having an orb. 323 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,793 Don't sweat it, Jer. Piss under the bridge. 324 00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,880 Man, I guess the therapy worked, huh? 325 00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:17,507 Opening up, doing all that just to make my dad feel good. 326 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:18,634 That's pretty great of you, Rick. 327 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,136 Yeah that's right, Morty. That's right. 328 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,388 Wait Morty, you have to promise not to tell anyone 329 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,223 but your dad made Pissmaster kill himself. 330 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,392 -Oh man, what? -Yeah, I mean, I found him dead 331 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:30,812 and I put on his suit but look at this, he literally blames your dad. 332 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:32,522 Holy shit. 333 00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:34,816 Wait, you kept the suicide note? 334 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,526 -That's so messed up! -I know, I mean, 335 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:37,778 I had to tell someone, Morty, 336 00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:39,655 -I couldn't just sit on that. -And you expect me to? 337 00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:40,864 Morty, no! What are you doing? 338 00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:46,203 -What the hell?! He killed himself? -Jesus, Dad, you should've told us! 339 00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:48,705 -Especially if Jerry murdered him! -Wait, don't say that, 340 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,582 -I didn't murder! -Hey, I thought it was pretty cool 341 00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,709 -that I withheld that information. -But you didn't withhold it! 342 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,836 -You're walking around with the note! -Yeah Grandpa, you gotta like, 343 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,588 keep it in your heart as a great sacrifice, 344 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,007 -that's the cool move. -I mean, how am I the bad guy? 345 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,175 He sprayed piss on us! You all cheered me on! 346 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,135 -You all cheered me on! -Don't drag us into this. 347 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,845 -A man is dead, Dad. -Again, wasn't gonna say it, 348 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,180 -but I told you this would happen. -Get off your high horse. 349 00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:06,890 -Dr. Wong would be so proud. -Go ahead and boo, 350 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,018 -I was breathing piss, you think I care? -Is this what it's like to trend? 351 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:13,814 This is a nightmare, I should've just let him pee on my daughter! 352 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:15,232 What the hell, Dad? 353 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:52,185 how about Jack Miller, aka CarJack? He lifted a car off a stranger. 354 00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:54,021 -Next. -Orb-no. 355 00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:55,981 We're fresh off a dad and a piss guy. 356 00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:58,275 Maybe we add someone that's already powerful? 357 00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:00,402 We have to be realistic about who we can get. 358 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:03,155 -I have a pitch. -We're not gonna add Scarlett Johansson. 359 00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:08,118 Next up: Mr. Nimbus. Lord of the oceans. 360 00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:09,786 I hear he controls the police. 361 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:11,288 -The police? -Orb-yes. 362 00:22:11,371 --> 00:22:15,250 Guys, I already checked, his reps say he's really busy right now. 363 00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:17,586 -Everyone says that. -And we're not busy?