1 00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:01,968 -Good 2 00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:02,168 -Good evening, 3 00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:03,203 -Good evening, everybody, 4 00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:06,306 and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" 5 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:09,309 On tonight's show, getting his crunk on, 6 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:10,910 Wayne Brady, 7 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,580 twerking queen Nyima Funk, 8 00:00:13,613 --> 00:00:16,583 fo' shizzle my nizzle, it's Colin Mochrie, 9 00:00:16,616 --> 00:00:21,187 and getting jiggy with it, Ryan Stiles, 10 00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:23,223 and I'm Aisha Tyler. 11 00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:26,393 Let's make some stuff up! 12 00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:32,198 Hey! Hey, everybody. 13 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,134 Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" -- 14 00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:35,869 the show where everything is made up 15 00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:38,004 and the points -- they don't matter. 16 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,506 We've got a great show for you tonight, 17 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,575 so let's get started with a game called "Scenes From a Hat," 18 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:44,711 which is for all four of our performers. 19 00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:47,514 Come on down! 20 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,848 Ryan and Colin are over there. 21 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,617 Wayne and Nyima are over here. 22 00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:52,385 Now, before the show, we asked our audience 23 00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:54,187 to write down some scenes that they would like to see 24 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,122 acted out by our crack performers here. 25 00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:58,158 I've got the suggestions, and I'm going to read them out. 26 00:00:58,191 --> 00:00:59,826 We're going to see how many you guys can make happen. 27 00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:00,994 Ryan, you ready? -Mm-hmm. 28 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:02,695 -Ready, ready? Here it comes. 29 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,966 "Things You Can Say About Your Car But Not Your Partner." 30 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:13,073 -No matter how much I pump, I just can't fill this thing. 31 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:14,474 [ Buzzer ] 32 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:19,646 -Oh, I'm so glad I have a spare. 33 00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:21,481 [ Laughter, buzzer ] 34 00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:24,617 -Oh! 35 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,686 Someone got rear-ended. 36 00:01:26,719 --> 00:01:28,054 [ Buzzer ] 37 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:32,759 -Oh, you're all dry because you're out of wiper fluid. 38 00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:34,194 [ Audience oohs ] 39 00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:35,562 -Uh-oh. [ Buzzer ] 40 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,730 -Really? 41 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:41,334 Ooh, I offended some car people. 42 00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:44,804 -Wash it, wax it, have it back by tomorrow. 43 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,239 Wax it good. 44 00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,674 [ Buzzer ] 45 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:52,912 Ugh, it's so hard to fit in these European models. 46 00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:55,482 [ Buzzer ] 47 00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:57,350 [ Cheers and applause ] 48 00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,619 -There you go. 49 00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:03,523 -"The Dating Videos of Fictional Characters." 50 00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:09,028 -My name is Optimus Prime. 51 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,763 Whatever you want, I can be. 52 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,332 Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. 53 00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:14,167 Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. 54 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,503 Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch... 55 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,610 Ta-ta-ch-k, ta-ta-ch-k, ta-k-k. 56 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,311 Ch-k-po-po, ssk-k. 57 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,914 Ch-k-ssk-ssk, ssk-to-to-to-to. 58 00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:30,150 Eee, ch-k, tk-tk-tk. 59 00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:32,352 Brrr, zz-gzz-gzz. 60 00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:33,887 [ Buzzer ] 61 00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:47,133 -Oh, I wanted to know what you were building. 62 00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:50,236 -Oh, you'll find out. 63 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:51,704 [ Nyima giggles ] 64 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:54,307 -Oh, dear Lord above in the sky. 65 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,544 "Weird Things to Read on a Medical Label." 66 00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:03,249 -"This will kill your ass." 67 00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,051 [ Buzzer ] Mnh-mnh. 68 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,822 -"Has no side effects." 69 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,294 [ Buzzer ] 70 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,729 [ Cheers and applause ] 71 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:22,802 -"Will turn you into a man"? 72 00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:24,437 What in the world? 73 00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:26,606 -D-d-d-d, k-ch-k-ch, ch-ch-ch-ch. 74 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:29,342 Ch-ch-ch-ch, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. 75 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,177 Zzz, ch-ch-ch-ch. 76 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,212 [ Buzzer ] 77 00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:35,782 -Whoo-hoo! [ Giggles ] 78 00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,984 -"Things You Don't Want to Hear 79 00:03:38,017 --> 00:03:41,287 from the Person You've Just Woken Up Next To." 80 00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,526 -Yay, I'm a real boy! 81 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,229 [ Laughter and applause ] 82 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,968 [ Buzzer ] 83 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,674 -Uh, 500 points to Wayne 84 00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,344 for buzzing himself out twice, 85 00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:07,280 and 250 points to Colin for your... 86 00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:09,282 subtlety. 87 00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:11,718 -Wow. [ Laughter ] 88 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,220 -Now we're going to play a game called "Song Style." 89 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,189 Wayne is going to be making up a song assisted 90 00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:19,859 by Laura Hall and Linda Taylor on piano and guitar. 91 00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:23,062 And to inspire our good friend Wayne tonight, 92 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:26,199 we have a very special celebrity guest for him to serenade, 93 00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:28,701 so please welcome my good friend Jack Osbourne! 94 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,274 -Mwah! 95 00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:35,975 -Jackie! 96 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,046 -Good to see you. -And you. 97 00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:41,047 How's it going? 98 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,181 -So, Wayne, you're going to be 99 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,950 singing a song to Jack about his life. 100 00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:45,385 -Oh. -Yes. 101 00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:46,753 Get ready. -It should be tragic. 102 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,655 -And you're going to be singing in the style of salsa. 103 00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:51,424 So a song about Jack in the style of salsa. 104 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,293 -Because my life just screams salsa, right? 105 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,762 -It does. -That's it. 106 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,830 So, you do so many things, and you've gotten a chance 107 00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:59,132 to do a ton of stuff. 108 00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:00,300 Is there something that you haven't done 109 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:01,334 that you want to do? 110 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:02,568 -Um, I don't know. 111 00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:05,305 Like, I never went really to school. 112 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,673 I need to go to school at some point. 113 00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:08,875 -Hit it! 114 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,510 [ Salsa music plays ] 115 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:11,878 -Okay. 116 00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:13,546 I'm liking this. 117 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:16,349 -[Latin accent] Today, Jack, 118 00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,084 I shall teach you... 119 00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:19,552 Well, I shall just teach you. 120 00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:21,154 [ Laughter ] 121 00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:23,022 ♪ Down your life, inside your mind ♪ 122 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,191 ♪ We shall go ♪ 123 00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:28,328 ♪ I can teach you, I can be your maestro ♪ 124 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,165 ♪ Because you are so smart ♪ 125 00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:34,434 ♪ No one calls you a fool ♪ 126 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,536 ♪ You've done pretty damn nicely for yourself ♪ 127 00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:38,538 ♪ Even though you never went to school ♪ 128 00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,506 ♪ Oh, you've been blessed ♪ 129 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,909 ♪ Since the day that you were born ♪ 130 00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:45,478 ♪ You come from a crazy show-biz family ♪ 131 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,013 ♪ Last name is Osbourne ♪ 132 00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:48,514 ♪ I've seen you ♪ 133 00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:51,818 ♪ You used to get wild and hang out in the bars ♪ 134 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,187 ♪ But then you cleaned up, you got really healthy ♪ 135 00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:56,155 ♪ And you danced on "Dancing With the Stars" ♪ 136 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,491 ♪ Oh, Jack, kindergarten ♪ 137 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,560 ♪ Teaching you something ♪ 138 00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:02,962 ♪ First grade, we can teach you ♪ 139 00:06:02,995 --> 00:06:04,764 ♪ And then we go up all the way ♪ 140 00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:07,233 ♪ To junior high and then to college ♪ 141 00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:09,435 ♪ And in your head, there's a knowledge ♪ 142 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,504 ♪ You want to go to school ♪ 143 00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:13,606 ♪ Oh, and learning can be a bitch ♪ 144 00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:16,175 ♪ Oh, but I know just one thing ♪ 145 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,311 ♪ That you don't need to learn ♪ 146 00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:21,013 ♪ Because the simple fact of the matter is ♪ 147 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:24,384 ♪ You're rich, so dance ♪ 148 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,152 ♪ Oh, go ahead and dance ♪ 149 00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:28,287 ♪ So go ahead and dance ♪ 150 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,857 ♪ You make more money than the average teacher does ♪ 151 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,458 ♪ So you win, go dance ♪ 152 00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,927 ♪ There's some form of inequality about that ♪ 153 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:37,029 ♪ But, hey, that's okay, just dance ♪ 154 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,265 ♪ Oh, Jack, to go to school, you don't need it ♪ 155 00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:42,869 ♪ Oh, Jack, just dance ♪ 156 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,571 [ Cheers and applause ] 157 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,473 This dude can dance. 158 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,941 -He can! 159 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:51,177 -Thank you, Jack. -That was awesome, right? 160 00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:54,380 Everybody give it up for Jack Osbourne! 161 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,848 -He was leading me. 162 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:57,617 -Awesome. 163 00:06:57,650 --> 00:07:00,052 -Thank you. -Jack Osbourne, everybody! 164 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,524 He's so good, right? 165 00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:08,895 All right. That was so much fun. 166 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,029 He almost dipped you. 167 00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:11,931 [ Laughter ] -Yeah, no. 168 00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:13,833 There was almost a line where I looked in his eyes, 169 00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:15,268 and it stopped being, "Oh, hey, hey, 170 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:16,969 we're two guys horsing around," and it was like, 171 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,738 "Oh, he's going to make love to me." 172 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,673 [ Laughter ] 173 00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:22,141 -All right, we'll see you guys 174 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,843 for more laughs right after the break. 175 00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,044 Don't go anywhere. 176 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,619 -Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" 177 00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,655 Now we come to a game called "Infomercial." 178 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,390 This is for Ryan and Colin. 179 00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:40,626 Come on down, guys. 180 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,696 In this game, you're going to be trying to sell our audience 181 00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:46,299 some utterly useless products, okay? 182 00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:47,900 So here are your items. You've got them there. 183 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,036 And you guys are going to be selling a kit 184 00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:53,072 to help people overcome their phobias. 185 00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,540 Take it away. 186 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:56,542 -Hey, there's a lot of people out there with a lot of phobias. 187 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,744 They're scared of everything. -Oh! 188 00:07:58,778 --> 00:07:59,946 -Oh! 189 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,147 -Oh! -Oh! 190 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,515 Bones! 191 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:04,150 [ Laughter ] 192 00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:05,751 We've come up with a kit that will make you think 193 00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:06,986 of your phobias in a different way 194 00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,488 so fear will go away. 195 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:11,023 You will scare your fear to run away. 196 00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,558 -Goodbye. 197 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,697 What's that? 198 00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:18,965 -This... 199 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,868 [ Laughter ] 200 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,436 ...is... 201 00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:26,405 Here, listen. 202 00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,207 A lot of our fears are just in our head. 203 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,275 -Mine are. 204 00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:30,543 -Yeah. 205 00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:31,711 -Ow! -Are they now? 206 00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:32,778 -No, it went over there. 207 00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:35,414 -Thank you. 208 00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:36,816 -Uh-oh. 209 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,317 ♪ Dun, dun ♪ 210 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,219 ♪ Dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun ♪ 211 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,387 ♪ I'm done, done ♪ 212 00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:43,322 ♪ I'm done-done, done-done, done-done ♪ 213 00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:47,827 Oh! -Many people have -- 214 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:48,861 -Don't hit me in the head with that. 215 00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:50,530 -No, I won't. 216 00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:54,667 Many people have fear of being hit in the genitals. 217 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,002 -Really? 218 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,271 [ Laughter ] 219 00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:00,973 -If you wear this for three weeks... 220 00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:03,442 Hit as hard as you can. 221 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:04,577 Nothing. 222 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:05,878 Nothing. 223 00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:08,381 The more you wear it, the more confidence you get. 224 00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:14,587 -Oh! 225 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:17,823 Whoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo! 226 00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:20,059 Woo-ooo-oo-oo! 227 00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:21,494 -Sometimes you're just scared of things 228 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,863 that you don't know what the hell they are. 229 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,665 Uhhh-ga-da-ga-da-ga-da! 230 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:29,969 -Xenophobia -- the fear of aliens. 231 00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:31,938 -Ga-la-la-la-la! 232 00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:34,640 Sploosh! Ga-la-la-la-la-la-la! 233 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:37,276 -There's also the fear of working with idiots. 234 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,278 [ Laughter and applause ] 235 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,584 Sometimes we wish we had a magic genie. 236 00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,686 -Oh, I wish I could pee in that right now. 237 00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:51,357 [ Laughter and applause ] 238 00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,927 -Sometimes it's best just to ignore the phobia, 239 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,363 and they go away. 240 00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:58,931 Nope, still here. 241 00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:02,068 -Oh, no. 242 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,337 What's happened to my Hula-Hoop? 243 00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,172 -That's right. 244 00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:08,207 People fear -- -Oh, no! 245 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,546 -Hula-Hoop dysfunction is one of the biggest fears of America. 246 00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:15,247 -Oh, no. 247 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,416 -The fear of working with idiots. 248 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,986 [ Buzzer ] 249 00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:22,121 -Hula-Hoop dysfunction. 250 00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:29,061 -I just -- I think I'm going to give 500 points to Ryan 251 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,864 for what was an adorable attempt at Hula-Hooping. 252 00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:33,666 [ Laughs ] It was so cute. 253 00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:36,102 -I have no hips. -No, it's true. 254 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,370 -Slides right down. 255 00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:40,106 -A lot of us would kill to not have hips, Ryan. 256 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,607 -Stop. 257 00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:45,244 -Ew! 258 00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:46,746 -Now we're going to play a game, 259 00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:50,349 and this game is called "Irish Drinking Song." 260 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,884 [ Cheers and applause ] 261 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,886 Will all four of you guys come down 262 00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:56,489 with Laura Hall on the piano? 263 00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:59,725 Now, before you make up your Irish drinking song, 264 00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:02,294 we need a suggestion from the audience 265 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,396 for a reason to celebrate. 266 00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:05,264 What is a reason to celebrate? 267 00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:09,035 [ Shouting suggestions ] 268 00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,736 Circumcision. 269 00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:14,073 I think that's a reason to celebrate. 270 00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:15,941 -I was waiting for that. 271 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:19,011 -I'm hearing from the voices in my head that we're on 272 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:22,214 shaky ground with that one, so let's try again, 273 00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,083 and what I would like from the audience, 274 00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:25,618 a reason to celebrate. 275 00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:27,386 [ Shouting suggestions ] 276 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:28,954 Pregnancy. Pregnancy. 277 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,189 Pregnancy. 278 00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:31,657 Is that going to be safe enough? 279 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,526 -That wouldn't happen if... -How do you get pregnant? 280 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:34,794 I don't know. 281 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:36,562 -With a circumcised penis. 282 00:11:36,595 --> 00:11:38,931 -Yes. 283 00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:44,170 The stork comes and brings you a basket of circumcised penises, 284 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,305 and then nine months later, a baby comes. 285 00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:48,908 -That's how it works. -It's magic. 286 00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:51,243 All right, so the suggestion is pregnancy 287 00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:54,346 as a reason to celebrate and sing an Irish drinking song. 288 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,915 Take it away. 289 00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:58,517 ♪♪ 290 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:02,588 -♪ Oh ♪ 291 00:12:02,621 --> 00:12:03,856 -♪ Hi... ♪ 292 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,228 -I couldn't hear it. 293 00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:12,031 -I can't hear it either. 294 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,399 -Stork is never going to bring you a basket 295 00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:15,901 of circumcised penises like that. 296 00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:16,969 All right. 297 00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,337 -Please, Mr. Stork. 298 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,840 ♪♪ 299 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:22,775 -♪ Oh ♪ 300 00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:26,245 ♪ Hi-dee-di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di ♪ 301 00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:28,147 -♪ Today my life just changed ♪ 302 00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,915 -♪ I'm giving birth ♪ 303 00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,717 -♪ The doctor called this morning ♪ 304 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,452 -♪ Even with all this girth ♪ 305 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,287 -♪ He said, "You're going to shoot it out" ♪ 306 00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,123 -♪ He said, "Here it comes" ♪ 307 00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:39,158 -♪ The best day of your life ♪ 308 00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:40,459 -♪ Right out of my bum ♪ 309 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,728 -♪ Oh, hi-dee-di-dee, di-dee, di-dee ♪ 310 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,163 ♪ D-dee, di-dee, di ♪ 311 00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:46,265 -♪ I pushed and pushed and pushed ♪ 312 00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,134 -♪ The sweat was on my brow ♪ 313 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,002 -♪ The baby came right out there ♪ 314 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:51,704 -♪ He said, "How you like me now?" ♪ 315 00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:53,773 -♪ The doctor said, "Smack him in the head" ♪ 316 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:55,574 -♪ This beautiful little boy ♪ 317 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,543 -♪ I think I'll have another ♪ 318 00:12:57,576 --> 00:12:59,078 -♪ My husband might get annoyed ♪ 319 00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,447 -♪ Oh, hi-dee-di-dee, di-dee, di-dee ♪ 320 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,082 ♪ Di-dee, di-dee, di ♪ 321 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,984 -♪ That boy was the apple of my eye ♪ 322 00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:06,852 -♪ I named him after me ♪ 323 00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:08,954 -♪ I named him little Giuseppe III ♪ 324 00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:10,623 -♪ And he climbs a tree ♪ 325 00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:12,458 -♪ He likes to climb all day long ♪ 326 00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,527 -♪ I take him everywhere ♪ 327 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,362 -♪ People comment on his gorgeous looks ♪ 328 00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:18,097 -♪ And how he sits in a chair ♪ 329 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,166 -♪ Oh, hi-dee-di-dee, di-dee, di-dee ♪ 330 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,934 ♪ Di-dee, di-dee, di ♪ 331 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,103 -♪ And now he's become a man ♪ 332 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,038 -♪ Off into the world ♪ 333 00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:27,940 -♪ He's going to meet a woman ♪ 334 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,708 -♪ Maybe a lovely girl ♪ 335 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:31,644 -♪ And someday he'll get married ♪ 336 00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:33,546 -♪ And he'll repeat this thing ♪ 337 00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,514 -♪ He's going to get a woman knocked up ♪ 338 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,183 -♪ He circumcised his wing ♪ 339 00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:39,351 -♪ Oh, hi-dee-di-dee, di-dee, di-dee ♪ 340 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:40,953 -♪ Di-dee, di-dee, di ♪ 341 00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:43,422 -♪ Oh, hi-dee-di-dee, di-dee, di-dee ♪ 342 00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:46,959 ♪ Di-dee, di-dee ♪ 343 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,994 ♪ Diiii ♪ 344 00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:51,931 [ Cheers and applause ] 345 00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:53,732 -He circumcised his wing. 346 00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:55,968 -Stick with us because we're going to be back with more 347 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,604 "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" right after this! 348 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:06,345 -Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" 349 00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:07,947 We're going to keep things moving with a game 350 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,315 right now called "Greatest Hits." 351 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,584 This is a game for Colin, Ryan, and Wayne with the help 352 00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:16,522 of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor, so come on down, guys. 353 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,724 Ryan and Colin are two TV voiceover artists 354 00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:20,526 talking about the latest compilation album, 355 00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,661 and Wayne is going to be singing snippets of the songs, 356 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,830 but I need a suggestion from the audience here. 357 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,100 So give me a type of vacation that one might take. 358 00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,168 [ Shouting suggestions ] 359 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,536 So many good ones. 360 00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:31,537 Cruise. Okay, great. 361 00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:32,671 Cruise. That's a great idea. 362 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:33,906 All right. 363 00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:37,042 So the name of your album is "Songs of Cruising." 364 00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,410 Take it away. 365 00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,412 -We'll be right back to our documentary 366 00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:43,215 on a security guard that works at a brassiere factory, 367 00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:45,751 "The Booby Guard," in just a second. 368 00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:49,255 Ryan, Ryan. 369 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,156 -Huh? -Why are you sleeping? 370 00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:52,358 -I'm sorry. 371 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,926 I fell asleep at the beginning of that joke. 372 00:14:57,763 --> 00:14:58,764 -You okay? 373 00:14:58,797 --> 00:15:00,065 -Yeah, I guess I need a bit of a break. 374 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:02,468 -Boy, maybe you should go on a cruise. 375 00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:03,802 -A vacation for me? 376 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,170 -Yes. 377 00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:08,040 You work almost three hours a day. 378 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:12,578 -You know, we compiled 67 songs all about the cruise on one CD. 379 00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:13,846 -That's absolutely right. 380 00:15:13,879 --> 00:15:16,282 Hey, if I told you our first artist was named 381 00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,784 Onika Tanya Maraj, 382 00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:20,252 you probably wouldn't say anything. 383 00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:23,155 -I'd call [bleep]. -No. 384 00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:25,925 But if I told you her stage name, Nicki Minaj... 385 00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:28,127 -Oh, Nicki Minaj. -That's right. 386 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,528 -Do I see her or don't see her? 387 00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:30,829 What is she? Is she a -- 388 00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,965 -No, you're thinking a mirage. -Oh. 389 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,670 -So let's hear this great Nicki Minaj hit -- 390 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,271 "Time for Shuffleboard." 391 00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:41,206 [ Pop music plays ] 392 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,008 -Yeah! 393 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:48,113 ♪♪ 394 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,249 -♪ Now, what do I do on the deck ♪ 395 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,151 ♪ When I'm here with a nice shirt on my neck? ♪ 396 00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:53,953 ♪ And I'm just looking at you, oh, my Lord ♪ 397 00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:56,255 ♪ I'll grab this stick to shuffleboard ♪ 398 00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:58,123 ♪ All I want to do because I'm bored ♪ 399 00:15:58,157 --> 00:15:59,792 ♪ I hang out with the elderly old ♪ 400 00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:01,760 ♪ And I want to do this 'cause that's my goal ♪ 401 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,829 ♪ I pray to the Lord it's shuffleboard ♪ 402 00:16:03,862 --> 00:16:05,764 ♪ What do we do when we do like that? ♪ 403 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,633 ♪ When I get that, when I get like that ♪ 404 00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:09,234 ♪ All I want to do is slide on the ground ♪ 405 00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:11,070 ♪ 'Cause it's all slippery, I hit it down ♪ 406 00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:13,005 ♪ I don't know how to play, how do I do this? ♪ 407 00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,040 ♪ And, oops, I hit it, and I guess that it missed ♪ 408 00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:17,042 ♪ And you do that, you're out of your gourd ♪ 409 00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,944 ♪ You hit with a thing in a shuffle-y board ♪ 410 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,646 ♪ You shuffle and you do it, you do what you're told ♪ 411 00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:21,780 ♪ You don't do it if you're young ♪ 412 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,781 ♪ Do when you're old ♪ 413 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,650 ♪ Shuffleboard ♪ 414 00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:25,951 Black Barbie. 415 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,319 -Wow. 416 00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:30,055 [ Cheers and applause ] 417 00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,624 -I don't know half of what I'm saying. 418 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,626 -That Nicki Minaj has a sexy voice. 419 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,261 -Yeah. 420 00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:38,497 -You know, there's only one kind of music I listen to. 421 00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:40,299 -Oh. Okay. 422 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,835 -I must have hundreds of ragtime albums. 423 00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:44,003 -Oh, right. 424 00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,471 It's nice to hear the music of your youth. 425 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,139 -Yes, it... 426 00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:50,576 You know, when I think ragtime hits 427 00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,678 and I think cruise, you know, one comes to mind. 428 00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:55,180 At the top of the charts for over 15 weeks straight, 429 00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:58,884 that cruising ragtime hit, "42 Sickened." 430 00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:00,386 [ Laughter ] 431 00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:02,221 [ Upbeat music plays ] 432 00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:06,125 ♪♪ 433 00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:07,826 -♪ Oh, what do you get ♪ 434 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,094 ♪ And what do you say ♪ 435 00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:12,197 ♪ When you look at the spread at the buffet? ♪ 436 00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:14,800 ♪ You sit down, all this food is for me ♪ 437 00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:18,303 ♪ It's free ♪ 438 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:19,605 ♪ Eat some pork ♪ 439 00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:20,672 ♪ You eat some shrimp ♪ 440 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,341 ♪ About five hours later ♪ 441 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,009 ♪ You're walking with a limp ♪ 442 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,210 ♪ Oh, what is this? ♪ 443 00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:26,211 ♪ Tsk, tsk ♪ 444 00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:28,781 ♪ 42 sick ♪ 445 00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:29,982 ♪ Soo-ba-doo-doo ♪ 446 00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:32,051 ♪ Bleh ♪ 447 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:35,154 ♪ Over the side of the sea ♪ 448 00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:37,389 ♪ When the boat goes rockin' ♪ 449 00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:38,824 ♪ You better come knockin' ♪ 450 00:17:38,857 --> 00:17:40,826 ♪ Hold on, this comes out of me ♪ 451 00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:41,960 ♪ When I hear the ♪ 452 00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,095 ♪ Bleh ♪ 453 00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,730 ♪ Of the bluebird ♪ 454 00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:47,399 ♪ Is sitting there on the ship ♪ 455 00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,001 ♪ And you better be careful ♪ 456 00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:53,138 ♪ 'Cause it's 42 sick ♪ 457 00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:56,041 ♪ And I know it's your life right now ♪ 458 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,445 ♪ It's 42 si-ugh-ah-oh ♪ 459 00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:01,213 ♪ Bleh ♪ 460 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,948 [ Cheers and applause ] 461 00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:10,055 -I love this. 462 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,223 What's that? 463 00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:12,558 What is that? 464 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,026 What's this? What's that? 465 00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:16,428 And what's -- Ooh, oh, what is that? 466 00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:19,164 -Abdominal cramps? -Yes, a little bit. 467 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:20,265 -Yeah. 468 00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,533 -I'm talking about belly dancing. 469 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:23,335 -Oh, of course. -Yes. 470 00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:26,004 The music style of belly dancing. 471 00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:29,408 And, you know, when I think of all those belly-dancing hits... 472 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:30,742 -What's the one that pops into mind? 473 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,177 -The one that pops into mind? 474 00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:33,745 "Husband Overboard." 475 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,247 [ Laughter ] 476 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,249 [ Indian music plays ] 477 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:39,218 [ Cheering ] 478 00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:48,527 ♪♪ 479 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:52,264 -♪ Before we came on this cruise ♪ 480 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:55,934 ♪ I took out an insurance policy ♪ 481 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:59,138 ♪ Ah, you're the man I wanted to lose ♪ 482 00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:00,339 ♪ So I said, "Look at that" ♪ 483 00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:02,241 ♪ And kicked your ass in the sea ♪ 484 00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:04,710 ♪ Husband overboard ♪ 485 00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:06,411 ♪ Husband overboard ♪ 486 00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:07,913 ♪ Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye ♪ 487 00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:10,616 ♪ Husband overboard ♪ 488 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,518 ♪ Nobody can jump on him ♪ 489 00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:14,186 ♪ No one can save him ♪ 490 00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,721 ♪ Oh, bye, bye, bye, bye, husband ♪ 491 00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:17,189 ♪ See you later, Jim ♪ 492 00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:19,858 ♪ Oh, insurance policy, husband overboard ♪ 493 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,693 ♪ I'm so happy, thank you to the Lord ♪ 494 00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,662 ♪ All that money here in my pants ♪ 495 00:19:23,695 --> 00:19:25,564 ♪ Look at my belly and that's how I dance ♪ 496 00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,866 ♪ Oh ♪ 497 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,201 ♪ I got a husband over ♪ 498 00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:31,703 ♪ Board ♪ 499 00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,539 ♪ You should have gone to the YMCA ♪ 500 00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:34,706 ♪ To learn how to swim ♪ 501 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,542 ♪ Now I'm laughing, ha, at him ♪ 502 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,377 ♪ Husband overboard ♪ 503 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:41,647 ♪ Husband overboard ♪ 504 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:42,781 Help! 505 00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:44,316 Help! Help him. 506 00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,450 Help him. 507 00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:47,052 [ Buzzer ] Help him. 508 00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:51,590 -Find out who the winner is right after this break. 509 00:19:51,623 --> 00:19:52,724 See you in a minute. 510 00:19:58,096 --> 00:19:59,698 -Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" 511 00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:01,099 That is the end of our show. 512 00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,869 Tonight's winners are Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie, 513 00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:05,404 and I'd like you to read out the credits 514 00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:08,840 as two panicky hypochondriacs in a doctor's waiting room 515 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,842 talking about all the ailments that they have, 516 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,277 which should feel familiar to you both. 517 00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:14,012 Thanks for watching. Good night. 518 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,248 -I think I have Dan Patterson-itis. 519 00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:17,516 I'm afraid of German things. 520 00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:19,651 -Oh, oh, I just passed a stone. 521 00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:20,886 -Oh. -That's not right. 522 00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:22,154 -It's the size of Wayne Brady. 523 00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:23,455 -Look at it. 524 00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:24,523 -I'm going to keep it if it's the size of Wayne Brady. 525 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:26,258 -Oh, look, they're coughing. 526 00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:28,927 I might catch Fiona Friel. 527 00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:30,462 -Are you circumcised? -Yeah. 528 00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:31,563 -I am, too. 529 00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:32,864 You know, so is Nyima Funk. 530 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,299 -Really? -Yeah, that's odd, isn't it? 531 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,235 -Well, that's why I got it. I read it in a magazine. 532 00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:37,903 -I got circumcised twice. 533 00:20:37,936 --> 00:20:39,004 -Really? -Yeah. 534 00:20:39,037 --> 00:20:40,339 -First one didn't take? -Nope. 535 00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:41,807 -I've had that. -Oh, my God. 536 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,842 So has Robin. -Oh, I've got mucus. 537 00:20:43,875 --> 00:20:45,410 -Oh, no. 538 00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:48,213 [ Cheers and applause ]