-Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to a very special episode of
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?" starring Wayne Brady,
Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles,
and our favorite guest performers.
Let's have some fun!
Hello, everyone, and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" --
the show where everything is made up
and the points don't matter.
Now, on every recording that we do,
there's always amazing material
that we just can't make fit into our final show,
so we put together this compilation
of the very best games, moments, and outtakes
that you have never seen before.
Enjoy.
♪♪
Now we play a game called "Get Down."
This is for all four performers,
accompanied by Laura Hall and Linda Taylor
on piano and guitar.
[ Cheers and applause ]
The guys are going to act out a scene
but when they hear the phrase "get down,"
they have to break into a rap,
and then when they hear the word "okay,"
they've got to return to the scene.
So, guys, your scene is that you're in the E.R.
and an injured Wayne staggers in to get treatment
from stressed-out Dr. Jonathan.
After a while, sexy nurse Ryan comes in to help,
and then Colin enters with an even greater injury.
Have fun.
-Oh, God, I lost another one!
-Oh, Doctor, you've got to help me.
-I don't know if I can help you,
I've killed six people today.
-Oh! Okay! No, that's cool, that's cool.
-I don't even have a gurney, you'll have to lean backwards.
-Doctor, am I going to make it?
-Get down!
[ Hip-hop music plays ] [ Laughter and applause ]
-Oh! -Oh!
-Yeah!
-Yeah! Yeah! -Yeah! Yeah!
-[ Rapping ] ♪ Now, got to tell me, Doctor, will I make it? ♪
♪ Because I'm bleeding out and I'm sure not gonna forget ♪
♪ Because, oh, damn, here I go ♪
♪ Should have bought myself a better HMO ♪
-[ Rapping ] ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, I need an inspection ♪
♪ Look out, everybody, it's -- aah! -- injection ♪
♪ Aah! Injection! Aah! Injection! ♪
-Okay.
[ Laughter ]
-Doc, I think I'm clotting. Thank you.
-Pee in this cup and we'll know.
-Doctor, do you need some assistance?
-We do. This man's about to die.
I don't know what to tell him.
-Can I help you in some sort of way?
-Get down!
[ Up-tempo R-and-B music plays ] [ Laughter ]
♪♪
-[ Rapping ] ♪ You taking care of him is quite a risk ♪
♪ After all, you're a proctologist ♪
♪ Our last four patients done up and then died ♪
♪ You know, Doctor, you ain't so qualified ♪
♪ Put the gloves on me, let me take care of him ♪
What are you doing?!
-Okay.
-What the hell was that?
Listen, Doctor, that is not sanitary.
And here's your glove!
[ Laughter ]
That's just not right.
-Excuse me, I fell out of a building
and all my bones disintegrated.
-Get down!
[ Funk music plays ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Whoo!
♪♪
-[ Rapping ♪ All my bones have turned to dust ♪
♪ And I'm filled with wanderlust ♪
♪ It's what I do, I can't stand straight ♪
♪ Help me, I cannot wait ♪
♪ I need an implant ♪
-♪ He needs an implant ♪
I...
I'm gonna die. I should give you my bones.
[ Rapping ] ♪ I'll give you my bones before I go ♪
♪ I'll give you all of these bones before I go ♪
♪ And I'll take out my shin, I'll take a rib for you ♪
♪ I'll even give you my pelvis and my tibia ♪
♪ I'll give you the bone ♪
[ Laughter ]
-No. -Okay.
-Doctor. No, that's not necessary.
[ Laughter and applause ] That's not necessary.
[ Buzzer ]
♪ Give you the bone ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I didn't...
I didn't mean it like that.
-Are you sure you didn't mean it like that?
-Oh, I did. -Yeah.
♪♪
Alright, now we're gonna come to a game called "Lounge Lizards."
This is for all four of our gentlemen players
with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor, so come on down.
What I need from our audience
is a suggestion of an outdoor activity.
[ Shouting suggestions ]
How about rowing? Do you know how to do --
-What is row-- rowing? -I'll murder you, Ryan Stiles.
So whenever you gentlemen are ready,
let's hear a song about rowing in the style of lounge singers.
Take it away.
-Heh heh heh.
-Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the bank... of the river.
Tonight, for your enjoyment, let's hit it fellas.
♪ Row, row your boat ♪
-♪ Row your boat! ♪
-♪ Row, row your boat ♪
-♪ Row your boat! ♪
-♪ Row, row your boat ♪
-♪ Row, row, row that boat ♪ -♪ Let's see if that boat can float ♪
-♪ Once I was on this boat ♪
♪ And what do you think? ♪
♪ I tried to patch it because I was scared ♪
♪ that that there boat might sink ♪
♪ I kept on rowing, rowing like him ♪
♪ And I rowed so well that I defied stereotypes ♪
♪ Screw you guys, Black folks can swim ♪
♪ I rowed my boat ♪ -♪ Row that boat ♪
-♪ Row that boat ♪
-♪ I grabbed a big old oar ♪ -♪ Oh oh ♪
-♪ Head out on the lake with a big old whore ♪
-♪ Whoa ♪
-And I heard "row," what do you do? ♪
♪ Ah da booby dooby dooby doo boo ♪
-♪ Booby dooby dooby doo boo ♪
-♪ Skip doo doop ♪
♪ On the boat on the shore ♪
[ Laughter ]
♪ Row that boat ♪
-♪ When you go down that stream ♪
-♪ Down that stream ♪
-♪ You with the girly of your dreams ♪
-[ Scatting ]
-Hey!
Hey, Colin. -Take it.
-Tell the folks a little something
about your rowing game.
-I shall.
-Break it down, ladies. Make it smooth.
♪♪
-♪ When -- ♪ -[ Scatting ]
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-♪ Row, row, row that boat ♪ -♪ Row, row, row ♪
-♪ Row that, row that boat ♪ -♪ Row, row, row ♪
-♪ Don't forget to bring your goat when you row ♪
-♪ When you row ♪ -♪ When you row ♪
-[ Harmonizing ] ♪ Ro-o-o-w ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-Oh, Colin.
-Oh. -Oh, my goodness.
-This is the most dangerous part
of the hair growing, um...
-Yes, it is. -...process.
-And it's quite frankly a last resort.
We do not like to use the Suck-Sation 500
but sometimes it is needed.
Sometimes...
[ Inhales sharply ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Coughing ]
There must be something growing,
because I've got a hairball in my throat.
[ Laughter ]
That doesn't smell good at all.
[ Laughter ]
-Check under the microscope.
-I don't want anymore, my mouth tastes horrible.
-Well, maybe -- -Yeah, yeah, they're growing.
[ Laughter ]
-What the hell was in that?
Oh, God.
-"Unlikely Things to Read in a Fortune Cookie."
-"You will suck on a foul tube today."
[ Laughter ]
-"Unlikely Things to Hear at Christmas."
-[ Chortling ]
And then I told her, "I'm coming down your chimney!"
[ Guffawing ]
-[ High-pitched laughing ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Applause ]
-"The Worst Times to Insult Someone."
-Ass[bleep]
[ Laughter and applause ]
-"Bad Things to Say Through a Megaphone."
-Get out! My husband's home!
[ Laughter ] [ Buzzer ]
-Don't move, everybody.
There's more "Whose Line" coming at you
right after these messages.
Stick around.
♪♪
-Next up is a game called "Newsflash."
This is a game for Ryan, Gary, and Colin, so come on down.
Ryan and Gary are going to be two news anchors in the studio,
Colin is going to be in the field
as a reporter covering a breaking news story.
He's not going to know what the news story is
because he's standing in front of a blank screen
like your weatherman on your local news,
but by the magic of television, Ryan and Gary
and everybody else here in the studio and at home,
will see that news story projected
onto their television screens, and the challenge for Colin
is to figure out what the heck is going on, and so here we go.
Over to Ryan and Gary in the studio.
-We have a special news report.
We're now going out into the field
with our special reporter, Colin Mochrie.
Colin, can you hear me?
-I can hear you.
I don't want to be here.
-I can imagine you wouldn't.
Colin, first of all...
-Come on! [ Laughter ]
-Let me just dig right into the story and just ask you --
just ask you a few questions.
How is it out there, Colin?
-What do you think?! I usually cover beauty contests.
[ Laughter ]
I don't even know where to begin with this!
-Well, nobody "knows" a story like you, Colin.
-Nope.
-Oh! -Ohh.
-Oh! Somebody stop that.
-It's not another -- -Oh!
-Ohh. -Oh.
-Oh!
-I tell you, although I'm a professional,
this is making me sick.
-Well, nobody "knows" a good story like you do, Colin.
-Yeah, you said that before. -You can pick 'em.
-Now, Colin, now, I don't want you to blow off
the meaning of this story here.
Give us in your [Laughs]
No, give us, in your finest words --
why do we have to keep seeing that?
-Why?! Because the news hurts!
Sometimes it's not pretty, sometimes it's ugly,
but it's news!
And the more you're informed...
Everyone run away! Read a book!
-Oh! -Oh!
-Oh, that's gonna hurt.
-It looks like it already did.
[ Audience groaning ]
-Colin? -Yeah?
I'm starting to feel more confident as this goes on.
[ Buzzer ]
-Colin, would you like to guess
what your story you're reporting on?
-Is it the cleaning out of a nose or a nose job?
-Yes, many, many noses. Yeah. [ Buzzer ]
[ Applause ]
Very nice, very nice.
-Eww! Eww! Eww, eww, eww!
-Just gross.
-So disgusting.
-You know, before I thought seals
were one of the cutest animals in the world.
-I know. That was gross.
-I've never seen that before from a seal,
they usually look so cuddly and --
-How do you think you look when you have a cold?
-I have a seal coat, but these ones were hit by cars.
-Ryan!
[ Laughter ]
You're dead inside.
-That's -- That's...
♪♪
-We're gonna move on to a game right now called
"Showstopping Number."
This game is for Ryan, and Colin, and Wayne,
with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
So come on down.
Now, the way this game works is that Colin and Ryan
are going to start a scene,
and Wayne is going to join them at some point later.
At different points during the scene,
you're going to hear a buzz.
That means the last person to speak
must break into a big showstopping musical number
based on the last words that they said, okay?
And the scene that you will be doing
is set in a home improvement store.
-Oh. -Home improvement store.
Whenever you're ready, gentlemen. Take it away.
-Can I help you? -I want to improve my home.
-Oh. [ Laughter ]
Where did you want to start, you're in the kitchen area now.
Would you like to start with the kitchen?
-I absolutely nothing about --
I just want my house to be nice and warm and livable.
-Alright, well, what's in your kitchen now?
What's the main focal point in your kitchen?
-My fat-ass mother-in-law.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Up-tempo piano music plays ]
♪♪
♪ My fat-ass mother-in-law, sitting in the house ♪
♪ Sits there all day, quiet as a mouse ♪
♪ She eats the things, she eats the fridge ♪
♪ And across her forehead, she has a large ridge ♪
-Okay, well, you know what?
Maybe we should build an island for her to sit around.
We'll start with that. -Oh, you mean in the house.
I thought you meant make an island --
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
-Alright. -Not at all.
Alright, well, we'll stop with some -- this is granite.
This is freshly cut granite. We make an island out of that.
-Granite, I'd like something a little more exotic.
-Well, we could make it exotic,
and then we've got room for eight stools.
-I don't like that many people.
[ Laughter ]
-Alright, well then maybe you should pick your own stuff.
[ Buzzer ] [ Up-tempo piano music plays ]
♪ Maybe you should pick your own stuff ♪
♪ Maybe I don't know how to do my job ♪
♪ Maybe I should get fired and drive a cab ♪
♪ And have a nose full of... ♪
[ Laughter ]
Like a seal.
Like...
Look, I had a bad experience --
-What kind of home improvement guy are you?
-Well, I had a bad experience with a seal early in my life.
-Ahh.
Hello, Morris.
-Oh, this must be your mother-in-law.
-Yes. -I see he's talked about me.
-Yes, he has.
-That's the only thing he's good for,
14 years with my daughter,
and all he does is talk about his big dreams
and, "I'm gonna fix the house, I'm gonna --"
-Maybe it's you, because I find him to be
an outstanding young man.
-Thank you. Listen to him, Moms.
-Then maybe both of you would be better off together
than with my daughter.
-What? [ Buzzer ]
[ Up-tempo piano music plays ]
-♪ Maybe both of you would be better off ♪
♪ He's searchin' you, grabbin' it, and makin' you cough ♪
♪ Yeah, because you're the best I ever saw ♪
♪ Both of you should get married ♪
♪ Some of these states has a law ♪
-Oh, really? So you're saying --
-Maybe you should be with him
because my daughter's too good for you.
-Well, that's... -Are you Jewish?
[ Laughter ]
-Heh? -Oh.
-You know what?
I had been feeling uncomfortable in the relationship.
-Really? -Maybe you're what I'm looking for.
-I never thought about it,
but maybe I should be with a man.
-And my mother-in-law is an ordained minister.
-An ordained minister? I'd love to see her marry us.
-"See"?
I also speak Spanish.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Up-tempo piano music plays ]
♪ Sí, sí, yo hablo Español ♪
[ Singing in Spanish ]
-Oh!
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
Hey! There's more "Whose Line" coming at you
right after these messages.
Don't go anywhere!
-What I need is a suggestion from the audience
of an exciting American city.
What is an exciting American city?
[ Shouting suggestions ] Ohhh!
Alright, we're gonna do New York City.
-Songs of New York. -Songs of New York.
-Okay. -Take it away.
-There's so many great songs about New York City. -Great songs.
-Tell them about a few, Col.
-Well, one of my favorite groups, of course, is Creed.
-Geez, why did you do that? -Because you just --
-Bullied your way like a bull in a China shop.
-You just bug me. -Stay to your own stool.
-Anyw-- ohh.
Anyway, just sit back and listen to this wonderful song
that will bring a tear to your eye,
"Statue of Liberty..."
[ Mid-tempo music plays ] Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
[ Imitating Scott Stapp ] ♪ There in the harbor ♪
♪ There's a great big statue ♪
♪ And I want to get on top ♪
♪ Can I climb inside you? ♪
♪ You gave us your poor ♪
♪ You gave us your way ♪
♪ I just want to know, can I say? ♪
♪ Oh, Statue of Liberty ♪
♪ The French gave it to us ♪
♪ That's the only thing they've done for us ♪
♪ I mean, it's cool and all, and it's a big woman ♪
♪ She's so, so high, and she's fine ♪
♪ Statue, I'm gonna make you mine ♪
♪ I've always wanted a green chick ♪
♪ With a flame and a butt that's thick ♪
♪ Statue of Liberty ♪
♪ [ Mumbling ] That's what I'm saying, yeah, yeah ♪
[ Laughter ]
♪ Flame ♪
♪ I'm looking under your dress ♪
For freedom.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-[ Sighs ]
[ Making sound effects ]
-I'm not even gonna try to guess.
-Hey, you know what the kids are hip to these days?
-Hey, why don't you tell me,
you seem to have your thumb on their pulse.
-You know, I like to get down once in a while
to a little Daft Punk.
-Oh, do you? -That just means "dumb punk."
I think it's French or Hungarian or something, I'm not sure.
They wear masks. It could be Milli Vanilli, I don't know.
-Again, another reference from last century.
-You know when I think Daft Punk's songs,
ohh, I think of one that drives me crazy
and gets me a little moist, that Daft Punk --
that Daft Punk hit, "Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels."
[ Up-tempo funk music plays ]
♪♪
-Over there.
Look on the trees.
♪ There is something ♪
♪ I am seeing trees ♪
♪ And blow in the breeze ♪
♪ And there's something looking at me ♪
♪ It's just chewing ♪
♪ And it's pointing at those nuts and it won't give me any ♪
-♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
♪ I think I want to get nuts ♪
-♪ I think I want to get nuts ♪
♪ I think I want to get nuts, I think -- ♪
-♪ Squirrels ♪
-♪ I think I want to get nuts ♪
♪ I think I want to get nuts ♪
♪ Squirrels ♪
-♪ There's something ♪
♪ Ohh ♪
♪ I see it when it tries to speak ♪
♪ But it can't make noise ♪
♪ Because it's got really puffy cheeks ♪
♪ And it's got something and it won't let it go ♪
♪ All I can hear is [Chittering] ♪
-♪ Oh, I want to steal all his nuts ♪
-♪ I want to steal all his nuts ♪
♪ I want to steal all his nuts ♪
-♪ I think it's a...squirrel ♪
-♪ I want to steal all his nuts ♪
♪ I want to steal all his nuts ♪
♪ Squirrel ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Find out who the winner is after this short break.
There's more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
coming right after this.
-Welcome back to "Whose Line." That is our show tonight.
All four of you lovely gentlemen have won the day.
I'd like you to read out the credits
as if you were all seals, swimming up to the camera.
-Okay. -Good luck to you. Good night.
-[ Barking ]
♪♪
-Heidi? -Heidi?
-Heidi Klum. -Heidi Klum.
-I'm Seal.
-Oh, I was too.
[ Laughter ]
-[ Barking ]
♪♪
-You called Heidi Klum?
-[ Barking ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-- Captions by VITAC --