-Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
On tonight's show,
six-million-dollar man Wayne Brady...
He-Man Gary Anthony Williams...
mystery man Colin Mochrie...
and creepy middle-aged man Ryan Stiles!
And I'm Aisha Tyler. Let's make some stuff up!
Whoo!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Ooh! Hey!
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" --
the show where everything is made up
and the points don't matter.
We've got a great show for you tonight,
so let's get started right now with a game called
"Let's Make a Date."
This is for all of our performers,
so, gentlemen, come towards me.
Gary -- Gary is a contestant looking for love
on a TV game show, and Wayne, Colin, and Ryan
are the hopefuls that he's choosing from.
They've all been given a strange characteristic or identity.
Gary's gonna question them about their suitability
for a date and in the process
try to establish who these people are.
Gary, go make a date.
-Bachelor number one,
I am known for my love of root vegetables.
[ Laughter ]
What would you root out if we was on a date?
-I -- I would --
I-I would give you as many hugs as you would want.
I --
Because all I need is affection.
The lights, the spotlights.
I -- 1932, I was the toast of the town.
But now all I need is someone like you.
Cut! I was brilliant!
-Whoa.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
-Bachelor number two, chicken spelled backward is "nekcihc."
What do you like to do backwards?
[ Laughter ]
-I don't think that's any of your business right now, ma'am.
But believe me, if I have to do something backwards, I'll do it.
Because I am the last defense.
Now, I'm sure that...
[ Laughter ]
[ Imitating metal detector ]
-Do -- Do it again. Do it again.
-Bachelor number three. -Yes.
-Sometimes when I wear plaid,
I get itches around my neck area.
What would you use to scratch my neck itches?
-Hm.
I know it's sometimes hard
to -- to not have anyone there to scratch your neck itches.
I-I know how lonely it is sometimes
to find the right...
[ Chuckles ]
Wait.
-Oh, God.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Oh, no.
-No. Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm working on it. I'm working on it.
Wait a minute. It's been right in front of me all along.
Hah! Come here.
-Oh. -Have a seat over here.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Okay, now...
Gary, would you like to guess who your suitors are?
-yeah. I would love to guess.
Bachelor number one is an older actress
who still thinks she's got it.
-I'll give you that. I'll give you that one.
I will give it to you. -Number two is one of those
people in the airport, like TSA...
-Yes. -...employee.
[ Buzzer ]
Number three is a matchmaker,
a matchmaking consultant who's also tall?
-You know, it's so hard for me to --
Put that away!
-He's a mad scientist looking for mates
for his monstrous creation.
-Perfidy! Perfidy!
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
750 points to Ryan for cheating.
-Why am I the monstrous creation?
-You're not a monstrous creation.
-Oh, thanks. -Yes.
I mean, I wouldn't call you monstrous.
Adorably Canadian.
[ Laughter ]
Alright. The next game is called "Duet,"
and it's for Wayne and Gary
accompanied by Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
And here to join them is our celebrity guest Mircea Monroe!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Hey!
-Hello. How are you?
-Sorry. Hi. -Alright.
Okay, so, Wayne and Gary,
you're gonna sing a song all about Mircea.
the beautiful Mircea, and you'll be singing
in the style of gospel.
Take it away.
-Mircea, do you have a -- have a --
have a guilty, guilty pleasure?
Do you have a guilty pleasure, Mircea?
Something that you don't know what.
-♪ Something nobody knows, nobody knows ♪
-Nobody know about.
-I love watching the treehouse show on Animal Planet.
-Oh, the treehouse show. -The treehouse.
That's where they build those treehouses for rich people.
-Yes, yes, yes. -Oh, yeah.
-'Cause not everybody can
-♪ Afford a treehouse ♪
-♪ Hey, yeah ♪
♪ Building those treehouses ♪ -♪ Houses ♪
-♪ Hey ♪ -♪ Hm, alright ♪
♪ Now, if y'all know this, sing along with us ♪
-♪ What do you like to do on a Saturday night? ♪
♪ You stay at home watching TV, and that ain't right ♪
♪ You like to watch that show about building trees ♪
♪ Fine girl such as you, you oughta be out, girl ♪
♪ Don't you see? ♪
-♪ Oh, a girl like you, all my life I have searched ♪
♪ I should've been climbing up in a treehouse ♪
♪ Up on top of a birch ♪
♪ Come on, baby, Mircea ♪
♪ Come climb into a treehouse with me ♪
-Yeah!
-♪ Is that what you want, baby? ♪
♪ Do you wanna be on top? ♪ -♪ On top ♪
-♪ Of my tree ♪ -♪ Of his tree ♪
-♪ I can put you on top of my tree ♪
-♪ On his tree ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I'm telling you, it's either you or it's him ♪
♪ And you can stand up ♪
♪ In the branches of my big black elm ♪
♪ Come on, baby ♪
-♪ If you're with me, you won't teeter ♪
♪ If you're with me, you won't teeter ♪
♪ Come up and climb on top of my cedar ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I lead the realm ♪
♪ If you don't wanna be in my cedar ♪
♪ Come get in my big black elm ♪
-Come on, girl, now. Y'all.
♪ Tap, tap, tap, build, build treehouse ♪
♪ And a tap, tap, tap and a tip, tip, tip ♪
-♪ Ooh ♪ -♪ Now you see? ♪
♪ Do you wanna get up on my tree? ♪
♪ If you can get up on my treehouse ♪
♪ Don't you see those squirrels? ♪
♪ Just move the nuts out the way ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Mircea Monroe, everybody! Another hand!
-Mircea! -Yay!
Mircea Monroe! Thank you!
-♪ Tap, tap, tap ♪
-Alright. Stick with us.
There'll be much more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this.
♪♪
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
And now we are going to play
a game called "Scenes from a Hat."
And this is for all four of our performers,
so, guys, come on down.
Now, before the show,
we asked our audience to write down scenes
they would like to see acted out by our guys up here.
I've got the suggestions in this hat.
I'm gonna read them out, and we're gonna see
how many our performers can act out.
"Bad things to hear your pilot announce."
-Uh-oh.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Uh, we're about to land.
We're gonna spin our Wheel of Cities.
[ Clicking ]
[ Buzzer ]
-35 years with this airline. Fire me? Ho-ho.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
-There's only one parachute.
[ Buzzer ]
-"Using the word 'boing'... -Right.
-demonstrate bad times for --"
[ Laughs ]
"For Viagra to kick in."
[ Laughter ]
-Wshht.
Boing. Aaah!
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Stand up.
Now my assistant will stand straight,
and I will throw this knife
as close to his body as humanly possible.
-Boing. Oh!
[ Buzzer ]
-Pinocchio, are you lying again?
-Boing.
[ Buzzer ]
-"Cartoon characters in therapy."
-[As Mickey Mouse] Doctor, I swear I've been through puberty.
I've talked to Goofy about it. I've talked to Minnie about.
I can't do anything with this high voice!
That's all!
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ]
-[As Droopy] Everyone seems to think that I'm in a bad mood.
But I have an active social life.
I enjoy snooker.
-You're gonna have to take a lot of pills.
[ Buzzer ]
-[As Speedy Gonzalez] iAndale, ándale, ándale!
iArriba, arriba! Even I realize how racist I am!
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Ruh-ruh-ruh, ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh.
Ruh-oh! Ruh-oh-oh!
Ruh-ree-ruh-ruh-roh!
-I don't know what you're saying.
-Boing.
[ Laughter ]
-"If blues singers sang about embarrassing health problems."
-♪ I got narcoleps-- ♪
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I just -- I'm gonna give 25 points
to each and every one of you just for making it through that.
Yes, it was delightful, and yet I feel like
you all need some kind of therapy, yeah.
-Took you this game to find out?
-Alright.
Next up is a game called "News Flash."
This is for Ryan, Gary, and Colin.
So come on down. Wayne, relax.
[ Cheers and applause ]
The way that this game works is that Ryan and Gary
are gonna be two news anchors in the studio.
Colin's gonna be in the field as a reporter
covering a breaking news story.
He's not gonna actually know what the story is.
It's gonna be -- He's gonna be in front of blank screen,
just like your weatherman at home on the news.
But by the magic of television, Ryan, Gary, and everybody else
watching will be able to see the news story
projected onto the TV screen, and the challenge for Colin
is to guess what the news story he's reporting is.
So here we go. Over to Ryan and Gary in the studio.
-Oh. We have a -- -Oh. Here we are.
-Special news report from our man in the street,
Colin Mochrie. Colin, can you hear us?
-I can barely hear you over the roar!
[ Audience groaning ]
-Colin, how did this all start?
-It started with some bad yogurt.
And it just moved into this.
-Ohh. -Oh.
-Now, Colin, forgive me.
-[ Audience groaning ] -Ohh.
-I'm new at this kind of thing,
so I'm probably gonna be fishing for some answers here.
Is this normal?
[ Audience groaning ]
Ah-ah-ah.
Is this your first time in a situation like this?
-I've never been like this since my honeymoon.
[ Laughter ]
Even then, I felt safer than where I do right now.
-Oh, Colin. Lighten up. Don't be so callous.
-You've been described as a "fungi" in the past.
-I'm sorry. We've got a clip to show here.
Alright. We just showed it. Okay, back to you.
-You're nailing it, Colin.
Keep it up. You're really nailing it.
-Well, I'm try-- Ohh. -Ohh!
-You know, a lot of people find this disgusting, but...
-Yeah, it is, but it looks like it's another story
you can file away for many, many years.
Boing. [ Buzzer ]
-Colin, do you want to give this a try?
-Is it a -- like, a pedicure on really gross feet?
-Yeah. -Yes!
Well done!
[ Buzzer ] Wow!
Sensational.
I'm gonna give the audience a 1,000 points
to divide amongst you.
[ Cheers and applause ] Yes.
For having to look at that horrible footage!
That was disturbing. Oh, yeah.
Try to work it out so everybody gets one point.
Alright? Don't be greedy. Alright.
Now we play a game called "Irish Drinking Song."
[ Cheers and applause ] This is for all four of our guys
with the help of Laura Hall on the piano.
So, now, before you guys
make up the words to your Irish drinking song --
and I know you can't wait to get to it --
what I need from the audience is a suggestion
for a reason to celebrate.
[ Audience shouting suggestions ]
Oh. Okay. I got one. Divorce.
-Divorce. -A reason to celebrate.
-Divorce. -Divorce. Take it away.
-Divorce.
♪♪
-♪ Ohh ♪
-♪ Hidey-didey-didey-didey, hidey-didey, dye ♪
♪ Today I signed the divorce papers ♪
-♪ I couldn't be happier ♪
-♪ I'm leaving out the door ♪
-♪ I'm out in the streets, brr! ♪
-♪ No more blah-blah-blah ♪
-♪ No more of, "You do this" ♪
-♪ I am free as a bird ♪
-♪ Now I'm gonna go and get pissed ♪
-♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey, didey-didey, dye ♪
-♪ For twenty years I knew her ♪
-♪ For twenty years she hurt ♪
-♪ I loved that woman dearly ♪
-♪ Now she's taken even half my shirt ♪
-♪ I don't even care ♪
-♪ I've lost everything ♪
-♪ I want her back someday ♪
♪ I -- [ Mumbling ] ♪
-♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey, hidey-didey, dye ♪
-♪ I asked her on a Monday ♪
-♪ Out there on the street ♪
[ Laughter ]
-♪ Rags 'pon her feet ♪
-♪ And now here I come again ♪
-♪ Walking through the door ♪
-♪ She's not my life ♪
-♪ I don't need her anymore ♪
-♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey, hidey-didey, dye ♪
-♪ I found another woman ♪
-♪ She's twenty years younger than I ♪
-♪ Oh, you should see the love ♪
-♪ I scream, "Yippee-ay-ay!" ♪
-♪ I'm thinking about remarrying ♪
-♪ I'll give her a ring on her hand ♪
-♪ And then I'll be so happy ♪
-♪ They'll hear "boing" through the land ♪
-♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey, hidey-didey, dye ♪
♪ Oh, hidey-didey-didey-didey ♪
♪ Dye, dee-dye ♪
♪ Dee, dye! ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Alright. We're gonna take a short break.
So don't go away. There's more after this!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
We are gonna keep things rolling
with a game called "Greatest Hits."
And this is a game for all four of our performers
with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor
on piano and guitar.
Now, Ryan and Colin are two TV voice-over artists
talking about the last compilation album.
And Gary and Wayne are gonna sing snippets of the songs.
So I need a suggestion from the audience.
Can you give me the name of an exciting
American state to visit?
[ Audience shouting suggestions ]
I hear Florida. Florida.
Alright. So the name of your album is "Songs of Florida."
Take it away.
-You know, when I think of Florida,
I can't think of anything nice to say about it.
[ Laughter ]
Not one of my favorite states.
But we've collected 30 songs on one CD
all about the state of Florida.
-Yeah, and, you know, one of the --
one of my favorite styles in this --
and I know you know this
from coming over and taking all my records --
Yeah. Yeah. Records!
[ Laughter ]
I love Jamaican dance hall.
-Oh, really? -Yes.
A great song that started,
strangely enough, in Jamaican dance halls.
-Aye, mon. Ooh. Aye, mon.
[ Laughter ]
That's "yes" in Jamaican.
-Well, just sit back and listen
to this Jamaican dance hall inspired song
about Florida.
"It's Too Hot, I'm Dying."
♪♪
-♪ Yeah, ha, heh, ha ♪
-♪ So hot... ♪
♪ ...the sun ♪ -♪ Hunh! ♪
-♪ I tell you now, I tell you now ♪
♪ I tell you now, oh ♪
♪ Because and the sun beat down on my back ♪
♪ Down on my back ♪
♪ I'm so, so Black, and it gets so hot ♪
♪ And, oh, me chokin', and, oh, my goodness ♪
♪ Sun a-strokin' ♪
♪ Sun stroke, sun stroke ♪ -♪ Hunh ♪
-♪ Sun stroke, sun stroke, ah ♪
♪ Sun stroke, sun stroke ♪
♪ Sun stroke, ah ♪
-♪ Me come, come, wear me felt ♪
♪ Me so hot that me going to melt ♪
♪ You be lookin' all around ♪
♪ I just be a big chocolate spot on the ground ♪
♪ It's so hot, don't you see? ♪
♪ No man a-gets as hot as me ♪
♪ There's sweat on me arms and my forehead, too ♪
♪ It's so hot, how 'bout you? ♪
-♪ Hot, hot, hot, hot ♪
♪ Hot, hot, hot, hot ♪
-Whoo! Is that you? You?
-Ahh!
-Ooh! Ooh!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Whew.
-I got a little hot just listening to that.
-Yeah, you'd think they'd sing something slower
when it's that hot.
[ Laughter ]
-You know, what's another term, Colin, for Seoul Cola?
-Rabbit. -No.
Korean Pop.
And, you know, when I think of Korean pop,
I think of a song that was at the top of the charts
of the Korean Pop Top Chop Pot Chops.
Everything's different over there.
That Korean pop hit, "There's a Gator in My Pool."
♪♪
-♪ I look inside my pool, and then what do I see? ♪
♪ I see something staring, he is looking back at me ♪
♪ Whoopah! ♪
-♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪ -♪ Gator in the pool ♪
-♪ The rep, reptile with a big old smile ♪
♪ And let me tell you, this is not no crocodile ♪
-♪ Whoopah ♪
-♪ You can look at him, that's what you do ♪
♪ But me, I'm gonna jump in my swimming pool ♪
♪ And make a nice pair of shoes ♪
♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪ -♪ Gator poolin' ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
-♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
-♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪ -♪ Whoopah ♪
-♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
♪ I'm gator poolin' ♪
♪ There's a gator in my pool ♪
♪♪
-America number one!
-No. Two. You have two up. You take one -- Yeah.
-Alright, guys, find out who won the show tonight
right after this short break.
We'll see you in a minute.
♪♪
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
Sadly, that's the end of the show,
but tonight's winner is the lovely Gary Anthony Williams.
-Ohh! -And I'd like you to read out
the credits as a Southern belle.
These other lovely gentlemen are your suitors at a ball.
Thank you and good night.
-Oh, my, if somebody could be bring me a mint julep
and a Mark Leveson on ice, please.
Thank you so much, kind sir.
-Perhaps you would like to accompany me to the dance?
-Well, perhaps I would.
You remind me of Geraldine Dowd, one of the sexist ladies...
-You mind if I walk with you for a while?
-Oh, please do. -I do believe they've mentioned
Wayne Brady, that the doors are always open for you.
-Oh, you're as sweaty as Neil Sidwell
on a hot summer day.
-I would love to talk to you about the chifforobe.
-Oh, well, then, you'll have to talk
to Chris Henderson because...
[ Cheers and applause ]
-- Captions by VITAC --