-Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
On tonight's show, foolproof Wayne Brady,
bulletproof Greg Proops,
future-proof Colin Mochrie,
and 80-proof, it's Ryan Stiles!
And I'm Aisha Tyler!
Let's make some stuff up!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Hey! Hello, everybody!
Hello, and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" --
the show where everything's made up and the points do not matter.
We are going to play a game right now
to kick this show off, entitled "Dating App."
This is for all four of our performers.
-Oh, let's see. -Come on down.
Greg is a single guy on a dating app,
and Ryan, Colin, and Wayne are his most recent matches.
Each of them has a strange characteristic or identity,
and what's going to happen is that Greg's going to question
them about their suitability for a date.
In the process, he's got to try to figure out
who these nutballs are.
So, if you're ready, Greg, go off there and swipe right.
-Hello, bachelor number one.
I was wondering, what's the best way
to get to know someone on a first date?
-Hmm. Interesting that you'd ask that.
[ Laughter ]
I find that the best way to get to know someone
is by studying them and using deductive reasoning.
For instance...
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Laughter continues ]
For instance, I happen to know
that you have purchased your suits at Neiman Marcus.
You are a size 11 shoe,
and you have a cat named Mr. Wiggles.
[ Laughter ]
-Bachelor number two, I would ask the same question.
-Wah, wah, wah.
[ Laughter ]
[ Robotically ] It is so hard for me to meet someone
in a first date,
but I'm looking for something that will take my --
Nope.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, what is this?
[ Laughter ]
Close, but no cigar.
[ Laughter ]
[ Humming ]
Oh!
Ohh.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Oh.
-That was perplexing.
Bachelor number three, if I was a breakfast cereal,
what would you pour on me?
-Well...
[ Laughter ]
I'd pour something on you what wouldn't make you too soft.
And you, the way you played with your pianist over there.
[ Laughter continues ]
Dust.
Magic dust.
-[ Gasps ]
[ Laughter continues ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Greg, would you like to hazard a guess
as to who these people are?
-No, I'd like to go now.
[ Laughter ]
Number one is a Sherlock Holmesian detective
who uses his rear end to deduce things.
[ Buzzer ] -Yeah! Wow!
Wow!
Whoa!
-Nice. -Wow.
-Very nice. -That was easy.
-Well done. -Colin, I think,
is someone who's arrived on Earth as an alien
and is looking for some sort of thing
to propagate with.
-Very close. What types of things might he be attracted to?
-Well, he was looking at Ryan's nose, so large things?
[ Buzzer ] -Bam! Bam!
Ooh. Oh.
[ Laughs ]
Alright.
And for your final feat of fearsome magic.
-Number three was so evocative.
You're from "Game of Thrones,"
but you're an alcoholic.
-That's it.
That would have been fantastic. [ Buzzer ]
That would have been fantastic.
-What was it? -Nothing near that.
-He was the world's trashiest fairy godmother.
So I think, "You're from 'Game of Thrones,'
but you're an alcoholic" was right on the money.
Right on the money.
-Was Sherlock Holmes? -It was a detective.
-I feel like you destroyed that.
You get a big fat Meerschaum pipe.
-Because my work was really subtle in that scene.
-Very subtle.
-Alright, we're going to play a game now that we call
"Mixed Messages."
-Oh. -This game is for Colin, Greg,
and Wayne. Come this way.
You guys are going to act out a scene.
The twist here is that Wayne and Greg's lines
can only be the text messages
that they read from phones that have been "donated"
by members of the studio audience.
So we asked for some volunteers earlier.
Who are our volunteers? Raise your hands.
Oh, great. Come this way.
Allison and Jordan, is that right?
Allison and Jordan? Come on down.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Okay, Allison is going to give her phone to Greg,
and Jordan is going to give her phone to Wayne.
Alright, there we go.
Now, Greg's using Allison's phone,
Wayne's gonna use Jordan's phone,
and the scene you'll be acting out is Explorer Colin
has disturbed King Kong
and is now trying to escape Skull Island
with his companions Greg and Wayne.
Take it away.
-Okay, guys, I think I made a mistake.
We should have left Kong here
instead of making him mad like that.
And I take full responsibility.
-Well, check the shelf above the washer and dryer
in the laundry room.
-Is that where we left the guns?
'Cause we might need something big to take care of Kong.
-He asked me out.
-Don't go. It's a trick.
He always asks someone on a date and then he eats them.
-In the meantime, he's going to fatten up.
-What the hell are you talking about?
-Well, okay, would you want to grab a towel and clean it?
-No.
No, we've got to get off the island.
-All within the span of two hours.
And he's not even the coworker I actually find attractive.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Alright, listen, alright, listen.
-The stain is gone.
-Yeah, okay.
Obviously there's something happening here.
I don't need to know about it. Let's concentrate on being safe.
You know, last I heard, Kong was over there fighting a lizard.
He could be here any second.
-Technically, he's one of the managers,
but not, like, my manager.
[ Laughter and applause ]
I think he's a kitchen manager, but I'm not totally sure.
-Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Stop talking. You're going to regret
everything you're saying right now.
-No. -Yes.
[ Laughter ]
-They're at the community pool.
-Alright, well, he's at the pool.
What did you do with the boat?
-He asked me to go to the bar, and I was like --
-Stop talking about him!
Let's concentrate on saving our lives!
-[ Imitates motorcycle engine starting ]
-It was here the entire time?
You couldn't point this out to me?
Instead, you're going on about your love life.
-Yes.
-So, on "Whose Line Is It Anyway,"
there's a skit where one person reads lines
from someone's phone.
My text message with you got me to participate.
Look up "Whose Line Mixed Messages."
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Give it up for Allison and Jordan!
Allison and Jordan, everyone.
Thank you, guys.
That was awesome.
-You were great.
Yikes.
-That is my favorite "Mixed Messages" we have ever done.
Ever. Ever, ever.
Well played, ladies. Well played.
-And yet it really is unfortunate for her.
-Oh, I think we established from her texts
that she don't give a [bleep]
We'll see you right after this short break.
There's more "Whose Line" right after this.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hey, welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
where we are going to now play a game called "Props."
This is for all four of our performers in two teams,
so come on down.
Alright, so, let's see.
Wayne and Colin, these are for you.
Ryan and Greg, these are for you.
-Oh, are they? Okay. -Oh, yeah. Enjoy yourself.
And we're also going to involve our special guest,
so please give it up for the star of "Legacies,"
actor, singer, and musician, the fantastic Chris Lee!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Chris, you're going to join Wayne and Colin.
You guys know how this game works.
Our teams are going to use these props
in as many interesting ways as they possibly can,
and so whenever you're ready, Ryan and Greg, take it away.
-Two of the elves are pregnant.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-She loves me.
She loves me -- They won't --
She loves me --
-She's hated you for years.
[ Buzzer ]
-[ Imitating engine revving ]
-Save me, I'm drowning.
[ Laughter ]
-I passed you a long time ago!
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ]
-En garde!
-This is the world's quietest game of sword fighting.
[ Buzzer ]
-I'm telling you, the house fell right on her.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-And welcome to our luau.
Kapono will now do his fire dance.
[ Laughter ]
-Aah! Aah!
[ Laughter ]
-Table for a Kardashian? -Oh, that's me.
[ Laughter ]
-I came to Los Angeles, and they said that they had
these organic chopsticks for my sushi.
-It's the quietest chopsticks.
[ Laughter ]
-This is the best synchronized swimming team I've ever seen.
With their legs just above the water.
[ Buzzer ]
-Girl, you always copying my [bleep]
You just be doing what I be doing.
-I misread the whole thing.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Here you see the twins rushing for the ovum.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-I don't know how to explain it.
The chickens get a big erection and then explode.
-Let me investigate. -Alright.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-[ Imitates birds screeching ]
[ Laughter ]
-Okay, Malumbi, look.
[ Imitates darts blowing ]
-[ Imitates animal groaning ]
-And that is how you bring down the white rhino.
[ Laughter ]
-Wilford Brimley?
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ]
-Welcome to loofah curl.
[ Laughter ]
-No idea, do you?
-It's -- I'm not Canadian.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Doctor, I don't feel well.
[ Imitates sneeze ]
[ Laughter ]
-I've never seen a tapeworm come out like that before.
[ Buzzer ]
-Boy, fairies, that was so much fun.
That was our first Mexican dinner ever.
-[ Giggles ]
Toot. Oh. -Poof!
[ Laughter ]
Fairy farts.
[ Buzzer ]
-That's all we got. -Thank you.
-Give it up for Chris Lee, everybody!
Chris Lee!
[ Cheers and applause ]
It's a scientific fact that that is how women fart.
-No, no, fairies. We said it was --
It was a fairy fart.
-Yeah. -That's how fairies,
the imaginary creatures, that's how they toot.
-I'm sticking by my original story.
Alright, and now we're going to play a game called "Doo-Wop."
This game is for Wayne, Ryan, and Colin
with the help of the sensational Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
So come on down.
-Let's go! Let's go! -Let's go!
-Now, what I need from you guys,
what I need from our audience is a woman's name.
[ Shouting suggestions ]
-Mia. -Mia. Alright,
so the way this game works is that you are going
to sing like a doo-wop group from the '50s,
but you're going to sing about Mia,
who died tragically in a gas station accident.
A gas station accident.
Whenever you're ready, take it away.
[ Doo-wop music playing ]
-Hey, fellas, check it out.
♪ I met a girl named Mia just the other night
♪ She came into the gas station ♪
♪ She wasn't looking really right ♪
♪ She said she wanted a snack, no ifs, ands, or buts ♪
♪ And she choked on a packet of my nuts ♪
From the counter.
♪ Oh, Mia, oh, Mia ♪
♪ No other girl like you in the nation ♪
♪ You worked down there at the gas station ♪
♪ You love your gas, you think it's the best-a ♪
♪ I'm sorry I drive a Tesla ♪
-[ Vocalizing ]
-Oh, Mia, you're dead.
I'm sad. I'll find a new girl instead.
I know it's bad. I should watch you live.
But like gas prices, you're expensive.
♪ -Oh, Mia, Mia, oh, don't make me start ♪
♪ Oh, Mia, oh, Mia, so sorry we had to part ♪
♪ And, Mia, Mia, you were a work of art ♪
♪ But now you're gone ♪
♪ Like a fairy fart ♪
-Like a fairy fart. -Like a fairy fart.
-One more time.
-Hey, everybody, do not move.
There's more "Whose Line" right after these messages.
Stick around.
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
where we are going to move onto a game called "Living Scenery."
This game is for Ryan, Colin, and Wayne.
Come on down. -Oh.
-And you're gonna need some help.
So please give it up for the star of "Legacies,"
the fantastic Chris Lee!
-Chris Lee?
-He's back again.
-Chris Lee!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Okay, so you guys are going to act out a scene for us,
and during the scene, you're going to need
to use a number of props.
But Wayne and Chris are going to stand in
and become all of the props in the scene.
And the scene is that, Ryan and Colin,
you are a young couple
kayaking through the bayou before staying the night
at Louisiana's most luxurious casino resort.
-Oh, kayaking there.
Kayaking to the casino.
-Enjoy.
-Makes no [bleep] sense at all, does it?
[ Laughter ]
-I guess we better kayak to the casino.
-I guess. -I don't know
why we're doing this. We could take a bus.
-Because we're young and love adventure.
-Look, we have two separate kayaks.
-I know.
-I'm going to push this one in.
-Oh, mine's self-propelling.
-Oh, wow.
Mine's got a massager in it. Yeah.
Oh. Oh. -That's why we kayak.
Uh-oh, look. Alligator!
-Oh.
-It's one of those seal alligators.
It's a cross between a seal and an alligator.
-Get your gun.
-[ Imitates gun cocking ]
[ Imitates gunshot ]
-Oh, no. -He's dead.
-We gotta dig a grave.
-Dig a grave? He's a --
-I'm still trying to figure out,
why are we kayaking through the bayou?
-Because! We're young, we're adventurous!
-There's the casino! -Oh, look at that!
-Oh, I want to play that slot machine.
I'm gonna play this slot machine.
-I'm just gonna -- -Oh!
[ Laughter ]
It paid off! It paid off!
-Wow, that's pretty nuts.
I gotta say -- -Play some craps!
Play some craps! Throw the dice!
-This is the worst floor show I've ever seen.
Alright, throw the dice.
-I need some new shoes. -Alright.
[ Laughter ]
-There's a five and a six. -A six.
[ Laughter ]
-I'm not even sure what that means in craps.
-Me neither. There's some -- -Drinks?
-Oh, oh. -Drinks?
-Excuse me. I'll have a drink.
Oh, good, one of these -- It's one of these fancy ones.
-It's a black Russian.
[ Laughter ]
-Hey, is there two straws?
-Yeah, help yourself.
-Mmm. That is good!
-Oh, boy, that hit me. -Whew.
You know what's so beautiful --
Whoa, look at this painting.
Oh.
[ Laughter ]
I guess only two of the Temptations
are making it this weekend. -Yeah. That's right.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ]
-Chris Lee, everybody! Chris Lee!
-You said
two of the Temptations.
-Chris Lee!
Stick around. I'll tell you who won our show
right after this very short break. Stay tuned.
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
That's our show tonight.
Our winners are all four of you lovely gentlemen.
So please join our very special guest, Chris Lee.
Read out the credits as if you're all Broadway stars
performing the end song of "Whose Line, The Musical."
Enjoy. Good night.
-- Captions by VITAC --
♪♪
-I quit!
-No, you can't quit. You're the only one who knows the lyrics.
-Alright. 5, 6, 7, 8.
♪ Who knows Ryan ♪ -[ Babbling indistinctly ]
-♪ Special guest ♪
♪ Neil Sidwell, Chris Dale ♪
♪ Simon, Ray Miller ♪
Oh, my hip!
-Come back! I can fix it! I'm a doctor!
-We'll finish.
[ Cheers and applause ]