-Good evening, everybody, and welcome
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
On tonight's show, pole position, Wayne Brady.
Inside track, Jonathan Mangum.
Bringing up the rear, Colin Mochrie.
And the wheels have come off, Ryan Stiles.
And I'm Aisha Tyler. Let's make some stuff up.
[ Cheering ]
Oh, yeah!
Whoo! I made it.
Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" everyone,
the show where everything is made up
and the points don't matter.
We've got a fantastic show for you tonight.
And we're going to start right now with a game called
"Sound Effects."
This game is for Ryan and Colin, so come on down.
We're also going to need two volunteers from our audience.
Who would like to play this game with us?
Who would like to play? Who would like to play?
All right. Tell me your name.
-Jenica. -Jenica.
That's two names in one, Jenica.
Who else? Oh, my God, I saw you raise your hand.
-Janice. -Jenica and Janice.
I'm never going to get this right.
Come on, Jenica and Janice. Come on down.
Jenica and Janice. Let's see. Come around this way.
Jenica. Janice.
All right, Jenica and Janice. Now, here's how this game works.
Ryan and Colin are going to perform a scene
and Jenica and Janice will provide the sound effects,
but only when prompted.
And the scene is that Ryan and Colin
are two paranormal investigators,
leading a team to explore a demonically possessed house
where they stumble on a portal to Hell!
Enjoy.
-I'm not going in there, Jack.
-What? You think there's going to be a portal to Hell?
-I don't know. There was in the last house
and I'm not taking a chance on this one.
-Listen, what is our job? Paranormal.
-To find ghosts. -All right, and so, listen.
-Ooh!
-That sounds to me like the beginning of a ghost.
-Well, my ghost alarm is going off.
-[ Imitating siren ]
-They're very flamboyant, these ghosts.
-They are.
I don't know where the rest of the team is.
I better call Charlie.
He was supposed to be here five minutes ago.
-Yeah, see what's keeping him.
-I've done it on silent. -Yeah.
-Hello? Hello?
-Oh, hi. Where are you? We're at the house.
-We thought you'd be here by now.
-Are you at the same place I'm at?
-I think so. -Can you see me?
-Yes.
-Charlie, are you in the portal of Hell?
-Perhaps. -We'll be there in a second.
-I can't light this damn cigarette.
-Pew! -There we go.
-All right, let's go in.
-That door didn't creek at all.
-Not at all. -You'd expect it to.
Watch the floorboards. They might be creaky.
-Rrr! Rrr! -Oh!
That's -- That's a lot more than just creaky.
-You stepped on a parrot.
-Oh, I did. It's dead now.
-Oh, my God, look.
Tell me that is not a portal to Hell.
-Whoa.
-Yeah. Whoa, indeed.
-That's more like a portal to Pomona.
That's not that bad. That's not what I expected for Hell.
-Charlie, can you hear me?
-[ Squawking ]
-Oh, my god. He's turned into a rooster.
-Oh! Now, that's scary.
Luckily, I brought my plasma electronic laser gun.
-Pew, pew, pew.
-That's a paint gun! -All right.
-I think, if we close the portal,
then everything will be back to normal.
-That's easier said than done.
-Is it? Because I have the Holy Grenade.
-[ Gasps ]
-[ Laughs ]
-This sounds like this could be loud.
-There's a 50/50 chance. -I can't --
Let me put on some headphones
and listen to some Lady Gaga. -You know, what?
I think you're going to be okay.
-♪ Ooh ooh ahh ahh ♪ [ Laughs ]
-Oh, look!
-The parrot recorded an album.
-I'm going to use the grenade.
-Bomb!
And look, it's -- The portal. -[ Gasps ]
-Oh, no. Are you possessed?
-I don't know yet.
-[ Groans loudly ] -Yes.
-Do you have control over your body?
-Don't turn around. -Wh-What?
-We're going to get you.
-Oh.
-Wha-aah!
-I'm sorry, Jerry,
I had something stuck in my throat there for a minute.
-Oh, sorry. -Yeah.
[ Buzzer ]
Whoo-whoo! Thank you, gals.
-Jenica and Janice, everybody. Thank you.
Jenica and Janice. Thank you.
Give it up for Jenica and Janice, you guys.
[ Cheers and applause ]
All right.
That was very exciting.
-I truly don't know what's going on.
-It's all right.
-I know. Nobody does.
And now, friends,
we're going to play a game we call "Scenes from a Hat."
This if for all four of our performers, so come on down.
Ryan and Colin are there, Wayne and Jonathan are here.
Before our show, we asked the audience to write down
scenes they wanted to see performed
by our gentlemen players.
I've got those suggestions in my hat right here.
I'm going to read them out and see what awesome things
you guys come up with. So here we go.
"Amusement parks that no one would ever visit."
-Boys and girls of all ages,
step on up to Florida.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheering ]
-I'll have two tickets to the Deep South, please.
-You'll be fine.
-It's not good!
[ Laughter ]
-You were running into the...
-Oh, the wrong way!
-[ Making whirring sounds ]
It's not a ride, I just work here.
[ Buzzer ]
You can ring that buzzer all you want. I'm not stopping.
-Don't worry. From what I heard,
it's not a very long ride. -Oh-ho-ho-ho!
[ Laughter ] -Ohh!
-Wow, it really is a small world after all.
'Cause you have a small penis.
-I didn't enjoy it!
-This time you're running out. That's...
I enjoyed it.
-Welcome to the land of unwanted children.
No go away.
-Aww.
-That place is going to go under.
[ Buzzer ]
-That's just mean.
-Welcome to Fiber World.
Ride the muesli.
-Hey, the ride's stuck again.
-[ Sighs ] Really? -Yeah.
-Thanks, man.
-"If insects could talk."
-I so don't want to sit on that.
-[ Laughs ] [ Buzzer ]
Yeah, I'm a widow.
I didn't kill his ass though.
Get it? Black widow? Black widow, yeah.
[ Buzzer ]
-Bzz.
Hey, flower. -Hey.
-What's up, girl? -Hey.
-Hey. You going to let a brother pollinate real quick?
-Oh! Come here. Come here.
-All right, you want some of this?
-Flytrap. -Oh, no!
Ohh! Ohh!
I fall for it every time.
-Lasted longer than he thought it would.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Hey, everybody, don't go anywhere.
There's much more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this. Stay tuned.
-Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
Now we're going to move on to a game called
"Three-Headed Singer." This is a game for Wayne
and Ryan, accompanied by Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
Come on down. They're going to be helped by our star guest,
so please give it up for actress and comedian,
the fantastic Tiffany Haddish!
[ Cheers and applause ]
So good to have you with us. All right.
The way that this game works is that the three of you
are going to stand together form a strange, three-headed singer.
All right? And you're going to sing a song together,
but each is only going to make up one word at a time.
So you each sing one word at a time.
Now, I need some help from the audience to complete
this unlikely song title,
"I Can't Live Without Your" blank.
[ Audience shouting suggestions ]
-I heard "hot dogs wrapped in bacon."
-You can't make up suggestions.
-No, I heard "hot dogs wrapped in bacon."
He said it. -Costco hot dogs.
-Oh, God, Costco hot dogs.
Well, I don't think we can refer to Costco, but --
-No, but we can say hot dogs wrapped in bacon.
-Of we can.
-Mm-mm. Good.
-The excitement level is irresistible.
The three-headed singer is going to sing the hit song
"I Can't Live Without Your Hot Dogs Wrapped in Bacon."
[ Mid-tempo song plays ]
-♪ I ♪
-♪ Can't ♪
-♪ Even ♪
-♪ Begin ♪
-♪ To say ♪
-♪ Everything ♪
-♪ I ♪ -♪ Need ♪
-♪ To ♪ -♪ Say ♪
-♪ Oh ♪
-♪ Bacon ♪
-♪ Surrounding ♪
-♪ Hot ♪
-♪ Dogs ♪
-♪ Mm ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ And ♪
-♪ It's ♪
-♪ Good ♪
-♪ If ♪ -♪ You ♪
-♪ Eat ♪
-♪ Hot dogs ♪
-♪ You ♪ -♪ Will ♪
-♪ Always ♪ -♪ Eat ♪
-♪ Hot ♪
-♪ Dogs ♪
-♪ Forever ♪
-♪ Ho ho ho ♪
-♪ Sizzling ♪
-♪ Bacon ♪
-♪ Wrapped ♪ -♪ Around ♪
-♪ The ♪ -♪ Dog ♪
-♪ Tight ♪ -♪ And ♪
-♪ Crispy, aah ♪
-♪ Bacon ♪
-♪ In ♪
-♪ My ♪ -♪ Mind ♪
-♪ And ♪ -♪ Mouth, mm! ♪
-♪ That's ♪
-♪ What ♪ -♪ I ♪
-♪ Always ♪
-♪ Have ♪
-♪ Night ♪
-♪ Ever ♪
[ Laughter ]
-♪ Hot ♪
-♪ Dogs ♪ -♪ Dogs ♪ -♪ Dogs ♪
-♪ Wrapped in bacon ♪ -♪ In bacon ♪
-♪ Wrapped in bacon ♪ -Everybody, give it up
for the fantastic Tiffany Haddish, everybody.
-Hot dogs wrapped in bacon. -Hot dogs wrapped in bacon.
-Keep the beat.
-♪ Got them hot dogs wrapped in bacon ♪
♪ Got them hot dogs wrapped in bacon ♪
♪ You can't eat them unless they made 'em on cookie sheets ♪
♪ They the best when they cook them on the cookie sheet ♪
-[ Laughing ]
Tiffany Haddish, everybody.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I don't think I've ever seen a more emotionally
affecting three-headed singer. -Mm-hmm.
-Right? It was just so operatic.
-It was a roller coaster of emotions.
-It really was. -It was.
-Took us on a journey.
-People get more involved if they can feel.
-That's true.
-That's sweet.
-And now, friends, we're going to play a game
called "Whose Line?"
This game is for Ryan and Colin, so come on down.
Now, before our show, we asked our audience to write down
random line suggestions, and we've chosen some.
So, Colin, these are for you. -Thank you.
-Ryan, these are for you. -Oh, I get some, too.
-You put them in your pocket. Use them as you feel fit.
-Wonderful.
-And the scene is that King Arthur, Colin...
-Yeah. -...is confronting his wife,
Guinevere, Ryan,
about her relationship with Lancelot. Enjoy.
-♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
-Gwen. Gwenny. Gwenny.
-Hi, Lance.
-I'm Arthur, your husband.
-Arthur, I'm sorry.
-All right, what the hell is going on?
-Oops, I made a mistake, that's all.
-Did you? Because --
-There's so many men in the kingdom.
-If I find out you're cheating on me.
-With who? -You will --
My sword.
-I don't understand.
-You should not betray your king.
-How could I? You're the only one
with the key to my chastity belt.
I remember when you put it on four years ago.
You put it on and you looked in my eyes and you said,
"If you're nice, I'll let you touch it."
-Your chastity belt as a chain with a twist tie.
-I know.
-Every time you see Lancelot,
you become a different person.
You become alive. You giggle.
And I heard what you said to him at the Round Table the other day
when you kind of bend over and you whispered softly,
"Give me a kiss, you horny dog."
-Well. He's a horny dog wrapped in bacon.
-I know he is.
-And what were you doing outside the Round Table?
Why didn't you come in and have pizza with us?
-You know, I had the whole day doing king things.
I can't spend my time eating pizza.
-Oh! -I've got a country to run.
-I'm sorry, and I'm just a waste of time.
-Yes. -I'm just your hobby.
-Yes. -I'm sure when you go out
with people, you talk about me and you say things like,
"Oh, that's not me. It's the pork roast."
I know it doesn't make any sense.
I'm just unhappy right now.
I've been cheating on you.
-So why are you unhappy?
-Because you caught me.
-This isn't right.
-But I do love you. I've always loved you.
-Have you? -Well...
-Okay. Well, that -- that was really --
-Not the first couple years, but after that,
weeks after that, I've learned to -- Just not so close.
-What happened? -Between us?
-We were so passionate.
-I know, we used to make love all night.
-All night long! I remember wedding night.
-You were a passionate lover, I'll give you that.
-I still am. Give me a chance.
The last time we made love,
I don't think you'd ever recover from that.
I remember you just kept shouting,
"I love the feel of rubber."
-Thank you for that, by the way.
-You're welcome. -A lot of women don't.
-I know. I appreciate it.
-They prefer without, but I like it.
-I know. I even wore it inside out.
-I know, for your pleasure. -Yes.
[ Buzzer ]
-Wow. For your pleasure.
The ribs on the inside for your pleasure.
-Yes.
-All right, guys. There's more fun with our
"Whose Line" crew right after this break. Stay tuned.
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
And now we are going to move on
to a game called "Greatest Hits."
This is a game for all four of our performers
with the help of the sensational
Laura Hall and Linda Taylor. Come on down.
The way that this game works is that
Ryan and Colin are two television voiceover
announcers talking about the latest compilation album.
Wayne and Jonathan will sing snippets
of the songs on those albums.
So now I need a suggestion from the audience here.
Could you give me a suggestion of a medical job?
What is a job in the medical profession?
Give me some suggestions. Throw them out there.
Oh, ooh! Wow.
Guys, candy striper.
For people at home who don't know, that's a volunteer nurse.
So, whenever you guys are ready, the name of your album is
"Songs of the Candy Striper."
-We'll be right back to our documentary,
"Aisha Has an Air Fryer," in just a second.
-I didn't know that.
-Oh, she talks about it all the time.
Can't get her to shut up about it.
-Gets your hot dog skin really crispy.
-It does.
You know what's great about the candy striper?
-No.
-So many great songs about -- about this particular person.
And so there should be. We have eclectic tastes.
-We do indeed.
-And one of my favorite bands of all time,
of course, I'm talking about the Animatronic Country Bear Band.
-Oh, you are?
-Yeah, they really -- You know what?
They don't get a lot of talk.
-Now, am I wrong, or is Hanson also animatronic?
-No. -They're not?
-No, they're brothers. -All right.
-So sit back and listen to this lovely Country Bear Band song,
"Gum or Mints."
[ Country music plays ] "Gum or Mints."
♪♪
-♪ Hey, there, come on in ♪
♪ Into your hospital bed ♪
♪ I-I've got a compress, I'll put it on your head ♪
♪ Are you hungry? Are you sad? ♪
♪ I've got a little choice that might make you glad ♪
-♪ Oh, hey there, hey there, we are here ♪
♪ We don't get paid because we're volunteers ♪
-No money! -♪ You're know we're great ♪
♪ You know we're very, very hype ♪
♪ I'll check your blood pressure and give you ♪
♪ A wipe, wipe, wipe ♪
-♪ You're laying in your bed, you haven't seen a toothbrush ♪
♪ You're laying in your bed, your breath stinks too much ♪
♪ Because here's a choice that you haven't thought of since ♪
♪ Tell me, is it gum or mints? ♪ -♪ Gum or mints? ♪
-♪ Gum or -- Gum or -- Gummy, gummy, gum, gum ♪
-♪ Gum, gum, gum, gum or mints ♪
-♪ Gumma, gum, gum, gum, gumma, gumma, mint, mint ♪
♪ Mint, mint, mint, gum, gum ♪
[ Imitating electricity crackling ]
[ Slow motion ] ♪ Gum or -- ♪
♪ Gum or m-- ♪
♪ Gum or mints... ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Something went terribly wrong there at the end.
-I have no idea why people think they're creepy.
-You know, Colin, we were alive in the '60s
and we're also in our 60s. That's two signs of the devil.
And, you know, back in the '60s, I used to listen
to a lot of psychedelic music
because I wanted to go away to another place.
And who could ever forget that psychedelic classic,
"When Bedpans Cry."
[ Psychedelic rock music plays ]
-♪ When there ♪
♪ Is a smell in your room ♪
♪ Where is it coming from? What can you do? ♪
-♪ What is it that you have found? ♪
♪ There's no toilet around ♪
♪ I need a bedpan to do my number two ♪
-♪ You make a bedpan cry ♪
♪ You make a bedpan cry ♪ -♪ You make a bedpan cry ♪
-♪ Why ♪
♪ Do you make it cry? ♪
-♪ Boo, hoo, hoo, sloshy, sloshy, sloshy, poo, poo, poo ♪
-♪ Eww ♪
-♪ Ooh ♪
-♪ Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding ♪
♪ D-D-Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding ♪
-♪ Make a bedpan, bedpan ♪ -♪ Bedpan, bedpan ♪
-♪ Cry ♪ -♪ Cry ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Hey, guys, stick around.
I'll tell you who won our show after this very short break.
Stay tuned.
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
That's our show.
Tonight, our winner is Mr. Jonathan Mangum.
So, please, join our special guest,
Tiffany Haddish, and read out the credits
as if you're introducing your new girlfriend,
Tiffany, to your very strange friends, these other dudes.
Thanks for watching, everybody. Good night.
-I really -- I really don't want you to have to meet these,
but they are my friends. This here is Colin Mochrie.
-Hi, Jonathan. -Hi.
-Hi, Jonathan. -M-My girlfriend.
-Oh, hi. Hi, how are you? -Hi.
-This is Aisha Tyler. -Hi. I, um, I collect gum.
-Okay, that's enough. -Prechewed.
-Okay. Okay.
-Jonathan's new girlfriend there.
-Meet my girlfriend. This is Ray Miller.
-Hi. Ray Miller. -Hey, hey, Ray.
-That's enough. Can we please get out of here?
Can you please give us the key? -No, you can never get out.
-Why all your friends ain't got no teeth?
-[ Gurgling ] -Stay with me.
-My throat. -He hurt you.
Did he hurt you?
[ Cheers and applause ]