-Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
On tonight's show, incomparable Wayne Brady,
inexhaustible Greg Proops, inexplicable Colin Mochrie,
and incredible Ryan Stiles.
And I'm Aisha Tyler. Let's have some fun!
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
I made it. Welcome, everyone.
Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway? --
the show where everything is made up
and the points don't matter.
Why do I keep giving them out?
We've got a great show for you tonight,
so let's get started with a game called "Superheroes."
This is all four performers!
Come on down.
You're gonna be playing unlikely superheroes.
Greg is gonna start.
Wayne, Colin, and Ryan are gonna join in that order.
Each new superhero will be given his new name as he enters.
And what we need from our audience
is some sort of global crisis that they're dealing with.
[ Audience shouting suggestions ]
Ahh, no beer.
That's your personal problem.
I do like that one.
Cereal shortage? How do we feel about
trying to save the world from a cereal shortage?
-Cereal shortage.
-Great. Greg, the crisis you're facing is
that there is a global cereal shortage
and your superhero identity is Captain Game Show.
Take it away.
-Well, breakfast time, again.
I wonder if I should try Cabinet Number 1,
Cabinet Number 2, or Cabinet Number 3.
I'll try Number 3.
Gasp!
I am out of muesli.
I hope my super friends arrive soon.
-Sorry I'm late.
-Thank God you're here...
Celebrating After Touchdown Boy.
-That's Celebrating After Touchdown Man.
-I forgot, you've grown.
There's no more cereal!
-No more cereal? -No.
-Have you opened all of the cabinets, all of them?
Whoo!
[ Cheers and applause ]
I can't find any anywhere.
-Sorry I'm late, but time means nothing to me.
-I'm glad you're here, The Toddler.
-We're out of cereal.
Wow, this baby's won the big prize.
-Sorry I'm late. The 405 was flooded.
-Thank God you're here,
Overacting Man. Overacting.
-You talk incredibly well for a baby!
Who taught you at this young age to speak the Queen's English?
I just wanted you to know my pockets are full of cereal.
Pour some milk in and watch me snap, crackle, and pop.
I'm on my way, my queen!
-[ Laughing ]
Uh-oh.
-Run along.
-I'm gonna go find some Grape-Nuts for you.
I'll be right back. -Thank you.
-3 and 0 because that's how sports work.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Thank God he's going to find my Grape-Nuts
because I thought they were made of plums.
[ Buzzer ]
-That's how sports work. -That's how sports work.
-Right, that's -- -That was great, you guys.
A lot of cereal name checking, a lot of physicality.
-A lot of sports work.
Brought back Grape-Nuts.
Everybody's getting a lot of fiber.
They're regular. It's going great.
Now we are gonna play a game called "Sound Effects."
This game is for Ryan and Colin, so come on down!
-Yay! Whoo! -Let's do it.
-We're gonna need the help of two volunteers
from our audience and who's it gonna be?
Who wants to play this game with us?
Oh, oh, okay. Here. Here's a question.
You guys, what's your name? -Morgan.
-Judy.
-Judy. Morgan and Judy, are you related?
-This is my mom. -Oh, rock and roll.
Morgan and Judy, come on down!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Here we go. Morgan and Judy!
Here you go.
Alright.
Now, here's how this game is gonna work.
Ryan and Colin are gonna perform a scene
and Morgan and Judy are gonna provide the sound effects
but only when prompted.
So, Morgan, you're gonna provide them for Colin,
and Judy, you're gonna provide them for Ryan.
The scene is that Ryan and Colin
are a charismatic, crime-fighting duo
testing their equipment for confronting
a gang of international criminals.
Oh, yeah. Take it away.
-Eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh.
-That is one shaved hamster.
[ Laughter ]
-Now he will not be detected by laser beams.
-I like the way you think...man.
I've been working on a weapon.
-Jerry, how long have we worked together?
-15 years. -15 years.
Hmm, I'd like to see your weapon.
-Alright.
It doesn't kill the people that we're up against,
but it does render them useless just by this.
-Pchoo! -Oh.
It shoots a small net.
-Yes, and it starts to shoot as you lift it,
so you have to be very careful.
-Oh. Is that the phone ringing?
-Ring, ring. -Yes.
-It's the president's line.
-Oh. -Hello, sir.
-Hello. -Hello.
Hello, Madame President.
-Finally.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Shut up, I can't hear!
What is it, ma'am?
She's dead!
They've killed everyone at the White House!
-No, they wouldn't have killed them.
They must have them captured,
that international group of criminals.
They threatened -- Anyway, let's go.
-Alright. Let me set off the alarm to get the rest
of our crime-fighter friends.
-Err, err.
[ Laughter ]
-The hamster again, alright.
-I've set up a teleporter. -Uh-huh.
-I'm just gonna set the coordinates for the White House.
-Alright. -Beep-beep-boop-bee-boop.
-And then just step in.
-Oh, I thought I was already in it.
-Nope. Alright.
-Zhoom.
-Oh, we just zhoomed right over.
-Right.
-Alright, be careful. Look. -Psst, psst, psst.
Those are obviously French criminals.
You can tell by the way --
I can tell by the way they're talking.
-Oh-ha-ha!
-That's Panda Express!
I've got it. It's Henry Kissinger.
-No, it's not. -No, it's not.
-Alright. -Alright. Check your weapons.
[ Imitating cocking guns ]
I unlocked mine five times. I'm ready to go.
-I, unbeknownst to the president,
I put a beaming device on her.
I'll see where she is.
-Beep.
-She's right there. -Right there.
-They've got her surrounded with a bunch of mad dogs.
-[ Barking ]
-Or just a really pissed-off poodle.
-Let's shoot our ropes into the roof there
and then we'll slide down and take them by surprise.
-Chk, chk. -Pshoo!
-Did yours do anything? -Yeah.
-Oh, alright. I'll come with you.
-Ready? -Mine didn't do a thing.
-What are you talking about?
-I'm seeing people that aren't there.
I'm shooting things that aren't happening.
-Oh-ha-ha.
-Oh, look.
That was the French guy. -It was the French guy!
-Yeah.
[ Buzzer ]
-Morgan and Judy, everybody! Morgan and Judy!
Thank you. Thank you. Morgan and Judy, guys!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Na.
-Wow.
-Na, na.
-But what I love is they were quiet but the lady --
is it Judy in the darker top? -Yes.
-She -- So she hit me with this.
When I said, "Psst, you got to keep it close,"
she hit me with a "Uh-huh."
[ Laughter ]
She hit me with that and then was like, "Psst, psst."
-She was like, "Mind your business."
-Yes.
"Watch how a pro does it."
[ Laughter ]
-Hey, guys. There's much more fun coming
from our "Whose Line" crew right after this short break.
Don't move.
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is it Anyway?"
We're gonna keep things moving right now
with a game called "Doo-Wop."
This game is for Wayne, Ryan, and Colin, with the help
of the sensational Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
So come on down. -Let's go!
Let's go! -Now what I need from you guys,
what I need from our audience is a woman's name.
Give me a woman's name.
[ Audience shouting suggestions ]
-Mia. -Mia. Alright.
So the way this game works is that you are gonna sing
like a doo-wop group from the '50s,
but you're gonna sing about Mia,
who died tragically in a gas-station accident,
a gas-station accident.
Whenever you're ready, take it away.
[ Rock-'n'-roll music playing ]
-♪ Oh, Mia, oh, me, oh, me, oh, my ♪
I said, ♪ Oh, Mia, oh, me, oh, me, oh, my ♪
[ Sings indistinctly ]
-♪ Hidey, hidey, ho ♪
-♪ Oh, Mia, oh, Mia, oh, Mia, oh, my ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, God. -Now, that's improv.
-Whenever you're ready, take it away.
[ Doo-wop music playing ]
-♪ Boh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Ooh-ohh ♪
-♪ Oh, Mia ♪
♪ Oh, oh, Mia ♪
-♪ Mia ♪
♪ There was a girl ♪
♪ Her name was Mia ♪
♪ She came to me for some antifreeza ♪
♪ Because her car, it wouldn't go ♪
♪ I checked her oil and she was low ♪
-♪ Oh, Mia, oh, Mia ♪
♪ Oh, you're so gummed ♪
♪ And that's why I sing this Mia song ♪
♪ I was in love with you, I was such a rube ♪
♪ I killed you with my oil and lube ♪
♪ Oh ♪
-♪ Oh, Mia ♪
♪ I'll never be the same ♪
♪ Since I saw you on top of the pump ♪
♪ And you burst into flame ♪
♪ Life is bad ♪
♪ It can be so cruel ♪
♪ I guess that's what happens when you play the fuel ♪
-♪ Oh, Mia, you're gone ♪
♪ It is no joke ♪
-♪ You're gone ♪
-♪ You came to get pumped and you left up up in smoke ♪
♪ When you came to get your gas order ♪
♪ I guess you didn't get it ♪
♪ Oh, Mia, she died unleaded ♪
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
So sad.
-It was very, very -- It was a tragedy.
Points all around.
Mia was a harder name than I thought it would be to rhyme
and you antifreeza -- that was a...
-Antifreeza.
-That was my mama's name.
-And now, my friends,
we're gonna play a game called "Scenes," oh, "From a Hat."
This is for all of our performers.
So Ryan and Colin are there and Wayne and Greg are here.
Before the show, we asked our audience to write down scenes
that they would like to see acted out by our performers.
I've got those suggestions in this hat.
I'm gonna read them out. We're gonna see how many
awesome things our performers can come up with.
So here we go.
"If 'Sesame Street' dealt with adult problems."
-Hello, I'm Bert. This is Ernie.
[ Buzzer ]
Hi, folks.
I'm Oscar the Grouch, and I'd like to address
the homeless problem in Santa Monica, California.
Sorry, CW. We got a little too real on you.
-Not much of a neighborhood, huh?
-No, no, no. I tell you, they're ageist here.
They suck, too.
How long is this show gonna last?
-They suck.
[ Buzzer ]
-Those are Muppets, not "Sesame Street."
Different show.
-Oh. Oh, so now we're telling some puppets
they can be on "Sesame Street"
but then only some Muppets can be on "The Muppet Show."
-She's just pulling your strings. Take it easy.
-"Things you should never brag about."
-I barely have a penis at all.
[ Buzzer ]
-I'm a highly paid Drew Carey impersonator.
[ Buzzer ] -What was that?
-What was that?
-Hello. I know the difference
between "Sesame Street" and "The Muppet Show."
Shall we have sex?
[ Buzzer ]
-"If the emergency services broke into song."
-♪ I say goodbye as you get washed away ♪
[ Buzzer ]
-♪ Push, go ahead, trust me, and push ♪
Pu-- Oh.
[ Buzzer ]
She was strong.
-♪ Paramedics, but only one ♪
♪ Half the service, half the fun ♪
[ Buzzer ]
-♪ My hose ♪
♪ Isn't long enough to save you ♪
[ Buzzer ]
-"Things you could say about a cruise
that you can't say about your partner."
-I'm gonna ride this thing for a whole week...
...with my friends.
[ Buzzer ]
-Don't go anywhere, everybody!
We're gonna be right back on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this!
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
We're gonna keep things moving with a game called
"Greatest Hits." This is a game for Greg, Colin,
and Wayne, with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
Now, the way that this game works is that
Greg and Colin are two television voiceover performers
talking about the latest compilation album.
So what I need is a suggestion from the audience.
What is a job where you would work with animals,
or pests, or tiny things?
[ Audience shouting suggestions ]
Okay, lots of great stuff.
This is an unusual job, but exterminator,
so dealing with pests and critters.
Alright, so the name of this album is
"Songs of the Exterminator."
Take it away.
-We'll be back to our documentary
on shopping architecture in --
If you've seen a shopping center,
you've seen 'em mall. [a mall]
I'm sorry, I was helping my friend
exterminate an entire house
and some of the fumes got into my brain.
-Speaking of exterminators,
there's so many exterminator songs on this album
that it's a panoply, it's a classic, it's a bagatelle.
There's so many, and my favorite one on the entire album...
-Yeah.
-...is a style that you rarely hear anymore,
and it's called yodeling country.
-What's the name of it?
-It -- Thank you for asking. -Okay.
-It combines yodeling and country,
and this one's called "Rodent Be Gone."
-Oh.
[ Country music playing ]
♪♪
-[ Yodeling ]
♪ Get the [bleep] out ♪
[ Yodeling ]
[ Laughing ]
♪ Oh, because I see a little bit of there's a cockroach ♪
♪ And there's a little another, there's a cockroach ♪
♪ A part of my space you start to encroach ♪
♪ Because I never want to see you, I wouldn't poach ♪
♪ Anything from you because no whisker ♪
♪ No, no, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, sir ♪
♪ So I got to say, gonna scream and shout ♪
♪ Yodeloolee, get the [bleep] out ♪
[ Yodeling ]
♪♪
♪ One more time ♪
♪ Now I'm running out of a rhyme ♪
♪ So here's a thing I'll say with no doubt ♪
♪ Get ready ♪
♪ Get the [bleep] out ♪
♪ Standards and practices ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Yet, there's another style
that is pretty close to both of our hearts.
-Oh, I know.
-I'm sure, yeah, I know you think --
I know you know what I'm gonna say, Latin rap.
-Yeah.
-You know, people like Pitbull
and Bad Bunny and Misbehaving Squirrel
and all of those Latin rap dudes.
-And all animals, too.
-Oh, yeah, no.
Errant, the other rodent.
And in any case, this is a Latin rap
exterminator classic and it's called --
-Okay, okay. -Right?
-Yep, okay. It's called "Los Ratos."
[ Hip-hop music playing ]
-Oh, yeah, Mami.
This goes out to every household worldwide.
♪ Los ratos ♪
♪ Don't mess a lo gatos or latos ♪
♪ Don't mess a lo gatos those latos ♪
♪ Don't mess a lo gatos ♪
♪ The gatos are key, the gatos is me ♪
♪ Now come again, now, where's the hole? ♪
♪ Me looking in and I'm gonna take their soul ♪
♪ You never understand how I can roll ♪
♪ How do I do this because there is I'm swole ♪
♪ I get up beside of that hole with the cheese, the queso ♪
♪ When I say so, I say so ♪
♪ Get the rat, the rat give that, and that's a frat ♪
♪ And I killed that rat, go flat ♪
♪ And the rat right there on my sia ♪
♪ Come on, rat, with my girl, Mia ♪
♪ You don't understand, you don't want to mess with Mia ♪
♪ Because how it goes up because up because the los ratos ♪
♪ Donde esta los gatos ♪
♪ The gatos is neglos ♪
♪ Neglos los gatos ♪
♪ Gatos, no, no esta aqui ♪
♪ Aqui is me ♪
♪ I see ♪
♪ Meow, bitch ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Meow, bitch. Meow, bitch?
-Stick around. We'll tell you who won our show
right after this very short break.
Stay tuned.
-Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" That's our show.
Tonight, all four of you are lovely winners.
So please read out the credits
as if you're all grandmas at an old folks home
flirting with the camera.
Thanks for watching, everybody. Good night.
♪♪
-I'm gonna take these out for you.
-I actually take good care of myself.
You're in for a treat.
-Good for you. Good for you.
-Shelby has passed.
Oh, she's back. -We couldn't revive her.
-I put on my sexy diaper, baby.
-- Captions by VITAC --