- Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
On tonight's show, scent of success, Wayne Brady;
heady perfume, Gary Anthony Williams;
odor of roses, Colin Mochrie;
strange smell, it's Ryan Stiles.
And I'm Aisha Tyler! Let's make some stuff up!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah!
Oh, yes!
Hello, everybody. I-I almost died.
Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"--
the show where everything's made up
and the points do not matter.
We've got a great show for you tonight.
So, let's start it right now
with a game called, "Dating App."
This game is for all of our performers,
so, come on down.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Gary is a lonely single dude using a dating app.
Ryan, Colin, and Wayne are his latest matches.
Each of them has been given a strange characteristic
or identity, and what Gary's going to do
is question them about their suitability for a date
and try to figure out who these people are.
So, once you're all ready, Gary, uh, go swipe a right.
- Hi, uh, Bachelor #1. Let me just tell you something.
I prefer a soft shell taco to a hard shell taco.
What do you like in your mouth?
[ Laughter ]
- [ Imitates baby whining ]
[ Laughter continues, applause ]
[ Groans ]
[ Laughing ]
You-- Well, shut up.
What in my mouth? You're stupid.
No, you're not. I'm a boy.
Hey, look at this.
Isn't this awesome?
Oh, I feel so much better. Go, go, go, go!
Whoo-hoo! Oh, bad decisions.
[ Heaves ] Oh, my God.
I've got to turn things around.
What do you mean I got to get out?
You're not my mom! You are...
[ Laughter ]
...a sandwich.
[ Cheers and applause ]
- I would have said the exact same thing.
Bachelor 2, only yesterday,
I found out that a rutabaga was not an automobile.
[ Laughter ]
When you drive, do you use your right foot
or your left foot on your brakes?
- I don't really drive, uh...
Why are you looking at me like that?
You're making me very nervous, I got to--
[ Laughter continues ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
- [ Laughs ]
[ Audience "whoos" ]
[ Cheers and applause continue ]
- I'm gonna be here for a while.
- Thank you. Thank you. [ Laughter ]
Thank you, Bachelor #2.
Bachelor #3,
I like my men like I like my coffee--
in a little cup.
What's the first thing you do in the morning?
[ Laughter continues ]
- [ Evil groaning ]
I-I feel you underneath that desk.
That's it!
Oh! Oh! Come out!
Come out! Oh.
Oh! Oh!
[ Laughter, applause ]
[ Groaning continues ]
Do you want to keep the money,
or do you want what's behind Door #3?
Ah! Ah!
[ Laughter, applause continues ]
Evil.
[ Buzzer ]
- Uh, Gary, would you like to try to guess what's going on?
- I would love to try to guess. - Okay.
- Bachelor #1... - Mm-hmm.
- ...was a human being going from inception into adulthood.
[ Buzzer ] - I'll take it.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-#2 was a mouse
just looking for a good, warm hidey-hole.
- Oh, man, well done! Wow!
[ Buzzer ] - Yeah.
- A hidey, hidey, hidey-hole?
- A hidey, hidey-hole. - Hidey, hidey, ho, hey, ho.
- And #3, he was a demonic...
actor and performer.
[ Mumbles ] - That's it.
[ Buzzer ] That's it. Nailed it.
- [ Chuckles ] - Nailed it.
- Yeah. [ Laughter ]
What was that? [ Cheers and applause ]
- It was like-- It was a perfect guess.
He was just a demonic version
of everyone he saw here...
- Uh-huh. - ...on the set today.
- Oh, yeah. - It was what you guessed, yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- Exactly what you said. Uh, alright, friends.
We're going to play a game now called, "Mixed Messages."
This game is for Colin, Gary, and Wayne.
So, come on down. [ Cheers and applause ]
You three are going to act out a scene about the choices
that Wayne and Gary's lives can only be messages
that they read from phones that have been donated
by members of our studio audience.
So, we asked for some volunteers earlier.
Where are our "Mixed Messages" volunteers?
Raise your hands in the air bravely,
and now come here immediately!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Alright, now, Zoe is going to give her phone to Gary,
and Sara is going to give her phone to Wayne, okay?
Now, the scene that you'll be acting out
is that you are deep sea explorers in a submarine
when suddenly you're attacked by a giant squid.
Take it away. [ Laughter ]
- Alright, guys. Day 3, not much is happening.
We're going to go down deep-- oh, my God, look.
The starboard, it's-- it's a giant squid.
- Exactly.
- Yeah, I know.
I know a giant squid when I see it.
I-I've only seen this once before, like, 3 years ago.
- [ Imitates clutch engaging ]
Had sex with him, LOL.
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ]
- Maybe you're misunderstanding. This squid is going to crush us.
There's no way we'll be able to stand the pressure.
- It's just hard, you know. Put yourself in my shoes.
I am in your shoes.
I'm just a little over a bit.
[ Laughter continues ] What?
- Can I park in the spot?
- Well... - [ Imitates submarine moving ]
Have you noticed we can't move,
because we're in the giant squid's tentacles.
- Coming out now. [ Imitates submarine moving ]
- Are we coming out?
Do you feel any backward movement?
- Doing my hair, then I'll transition
to getting my fit ready.
- You know what? If you're going to do your hair-- Okay.
- Oh, I know you flirt with more than just me.
[ Laughter ] Ha. Ha.
- Can we focus on the problem at hand?
We are in danger. Put something in the torpedo tubes.
- Like, as in, you have the other friends to talk to besides me?
LOL.
[ Laughter continues ]
- That is Captain LOL.
- Oh, I see you, girl.
- I will not brook this kind of behavior.
- And a booty grab.
- Alright.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'm just going to turn up the, uh, oxygen.
- Ooh, sucks to be you.
- You know what? It sucks to be all of us.
If we don't get out of here in a couple of minutes,
we're going to be die-- dead.
Die. We're going to die. We're going to die and be dead.
We're going to die and be dead.
Oxygen. No oxygen.
[ Laughter ]
- I-I guess this is goodbye.
- Dialing down. Sleep by 10:30.
Rest during school, just for my mental.
My mental has been everything.
[ Laughter continues ]
- Before we all die, could I just say,
worst crew ever.
Worst crew ever. - Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Hell, yes, I am!
Yes! Yes! [ Cheers and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
- Give it up for Zoe and Sara, everybody!
Zoe and Sara, everyone!
- Oh. - Oh.
- Ah.
[ Cheers and applause continue ]
- For the record, I would like to point out
that based on those threads, Zoe and Sara
are living their very best lives.
[ Laughter ] Living.
I also will end every sentence that starts with,
"I slept with him," with LOL from now on.
- [ Laughs ]
There was a good-looking dude in the...
- Was he a good-looking dude in the thing?
- And there was a picture. - Oh, nice.
Best lives, ladies. Don't you apologize for [bleep]!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Alright, everybody. Don't move.
There's more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this!
Stay tuned.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Hey, everybody, welcome back
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" where now,
we're going to play a game called,
"Song Styles."
This game is for Wayne... - Oh, yes.
...accompanied by Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
You're going to join them as our celebrity guest.
So, please welcome, star of "How I Met Your Mother,"
"Buffy," and "American Pie,"
the fantastic Alyson Hannigan!
[ Cheers and applause ]
- Alyson. Hello, sweetheart.
- [ Singsong voice ] So exciting. - It's good to see you.
- Alright, so...
[ Cheers and applause continue ]
- Hi! - Uh, this is very exciting.
Wayne, you're going to sing a song all about Alyson,
and you're going to sing in the style
of a TV show title sequence.
- Okay. - Wow.
- Well, Alyson Hannigan... - Yes.
- ...who I've had the pleasure of appearing with
on "How I Met Your Mother."
She is a star of stage and screen.
So, if you had not become an actress,
what would you have done?
- I would have loved to have been a professional candy taster.
[ Laughter ] Yeah.
- Really? - I think I would have excelled.
- Hm. Okay. - Yeah.
- And when did you give that dream up?
- I haven't. - Oh.
Well, tonight, it's going to happen...
- Yeah. - ...right here on this stage.
- Yeah. [ Chuckles ] - Okay, so,
the action title sequence of, uh,
"Alyson, the Candy Taster."
- Yes. - Okay.
And then you can join in and act everything out as I sing it.
- Okay, great. - Are we ready?
- I'm ready.
[ Rock music plays ]
- ♪ Deep in the factory beneath the sands of Nevada ♪
♪ Where the Mars, Incorporated company exists ♪
♪ In the laboratory, in the special cage ♪
♪ There was a girl that was created ♪
♪ And she looked somewhat like this ♪
♪ Oh, she was designed to taste every kind of candy ♪
♪ And she could identify it ♪
♪ She loved nougat, and she loved chocolate ♪
♪ She loved chocolate with nougat ♪
♪ And nougaty chocolate ♪
♪ She had a very limited palate ♪
♪ She broke free of her captives ♪
♪ And ran through the Nevada desert ♪
♪ And made it there to Nevada, Los Angeles ♪
♪ And then to the world ♪
♪ Sharing her candy-tasting skills ♪
♪ Got skills for you ♪
♪ Taste the rainbow ♪
♪ Chocolate for you, that's how that go ♪
♪ A little bit of M&M with the peanuts ♪
♪ Hey, look at that, mm, mm, up my butt ♪
♪ No, forget that part ♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
♪ That was just dirty ♪
♪ That was just bad ♪
♪ And then a villain came to test her ♪
♪ The villain came right down ♪
♪ The villain was the largest M&M that she ever found ♪
♪ He came to town ♪
♪ The M&M, he said... ♪ - Hey, there.
- ♪ And then she said... ♪ - I can eat you.
- ♪ And then the two of them battled for 3 days straight ♪
♪ It looked a little something like this ♪
♪ He grabbed her, and he grabbed her ♪
♪ And she grabbed him and ate his limb ♪
♪ And get the top, and she wouldn't stop ♪
♪ And judo flipped him, and then he died ♪
♪ His candy shell cracked ♪
♪ And then she devoured all of him ♪
[ Laughter ]
♪ And that's the trick proving white girls love chocolate ♪
♪ Oh, Alyson ♪
♪ The candy chocolate tasteeeeeeeeeer ♪
[ Cheers and applause ] Coming to The CW-- March, 2024.
Thank you. - Alyson Hannigan, everyone!
- Thank you. Yes.
[ Cheers and applause continue ]
- Proving that white girls love chocolate.
[ Laughter ]
- I already bought the domain name,
and I'm ready to sell T-shirts.
- I don't know why we shot that in front of a green screen.
It's just going to be her head floating around.
[ Laughter continues ]
- My friends, now we're going to play a game called,
"Whose Line?" - Oh.
- This game is for Ryan and Colin.
Come this way, now, before the show,
we asked our audience to write down some random lines,
suggestions, and we've chosen them.
Colin, these are for you. - Uh-huh. Thank you.
- And Ryan, these are for you. - Those are for me, sure.
- Okay, so put them in your pocket.
- Okay. - And use them at will, alright?
The scene you're going to be acting out, gentlemen,
is "The Little Mermaid."
Colin...
is explaining to her sweetheart, Ryan,
that she must return to her home
under the sea.
[ Laughter ] - [ Imitates fishing reel ]
- It's not funny, anymore, Phil.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- You're sorry. I have to go back under the sea.
- You don't have to go. You can stay with me in Pomona.
- I can't. - Why?
So many reasons.
Besides, the spells...
- You just can't go back in the water
after you've been out this long.
- Well, it's like falling off a bike.
- But you said you don't get along with your parents.
You said they kicked you out.
- Mother's dead, but thanks for bringing that up.
- Not your mother, it's your father and his complaining.
When the hell did you get so fat?
[ Laughter ]
And things like that, he would say, which I wouldn't.
But he would say that kind of crap to you.
- The spark just isn't there.
You know, I gave up my voice for you.
- You can get your voice back. I've saved it in a box.
- I got my voice back. Do you hear me talking to you?
- I mean your-- your singing voice.
- I don't need my singing voice. Don't even bring that up.
- I've got it in this box for you, if you want it.
- You have it? You have my singing voice?
- I saved your voice in a box. [ Laughter ]
- We've been together 5 years,
and this is when you bring this up?
- Well, to tell you the truth, it was in the trunk of my car.
I forgot it was there.
- This is so like you.
You know, it was just like yesterday, when you walked out
for no reason, and just said, out of the blue,
"Can I get your sister's number?"
- Yes. - Yes. So what does that tell me?
- She was attractive. I'm sorry.
- Oh, good excuse. Great excuse.
- Huge fins. [ Laughter continues ]
Not that you haven't got pretty fins.
You've got great fins. - No, no, no, you're right.
- It's just that we're getting older, that's all.
I don't-- I just don't think sex, sex, sex, anymore.
Sometimes, I-I wake up in the middle of the night,
and I just think to myself, "I think I blocked your toilet."
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ]
And you know what?
I'm usually right.
- Now, do you see why I'm going back to the sea?
- Because of my toilet?
- Because of everything about you.
- But everything from my toilet will end up in the sea.
[ Laughter ]
I'll still be there with you.
- Well, not right there.
I'm not going to hang around waiting for you to show up.
- Well, around you. I'll be around you, though.
- I'm going to go far away.
- It goes out with the tide.
- How much waste do you think you're...
- I want to be with you forever.
- I can make it, so, that you could live
under the sea with me.
- [ Imitates trumpet ]
- Ricola. [ Laughter ]
- How can I live under the sea with you?
Tell me with your voice.
Sing your mermaid song to me.
- Okay. [ Laughter continues ]
You're going to love it under the sea.
And once you hear these magic words,
you'll be able to live underneath with me.
♪ Mmmmm ♪
♪ Ahhhhhhhhhh ♪
♪ It's throbbing ♪
[ Laughter, applause ]
[ Buzzer ] ♪ Ahhhhhh ♪
♪ Ahhhh ♪ - ♪ It's throbbing ♪
Alright, guys. Don't move.
There's more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this!
Stay tuned.
[ Cheers and applause ]
- Hey, everybody, welcome back
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
And now we are going to play a game called,
"Themed Restaurant."
- This is for all of our performers, so, come on down.
[ Cheers and applause ]
We also need Alyson to play this game.
So, please, welcome back,
star from "How I Met Your Mother,"
"Buffy," and "Penn & Teller: Fool Us,"
the fantastic Alyson Hannigan!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yay!
- Hello. - Alright.
The way this game works is that Gary and Alyson
are on a date in a restaurant,
and Colin and Ryan and Wayne are the waiters
who are all famous cartoon characters.
This is a famous cartoon character-themed restaurant.
- [ Whispering ] Yosemite Sam.
- I know. [ Laughter ]
- Whenever you're ready. - I'm wasted.
- Off you go.
- I mean, I-I enjoy, first of all, I-I love you.
- Oh, thank you. - I-I saw your photo,
and I thought that's the lady-- that's the lady
that's going to have all my-- all of my children.
- Oh, that's so inappropriate for a first date, but...
- [ Imitates Elmer Fudd ] Here's your menus.
- Thank you. - Be very, very quiet.
- [ Laughs ]
- He's giving you advice.
- [ Chuckles ] Sure is. Sure is.
[ Cheers and applause ]
- Alright. I am very quiet.
- [ Imitates Scooby Doo ] Rolls? Oops.
[ Scooby-Doo laugh ]
Ruh-oh. [ Laughter ]
- [ Laughing ]
- I don't... - Wow. Wow.
- You're not supposed to pet the waiter.
- I'm sorry, I haven't been out with anybody
for quite a while now.
- I know. - Can I take your order?
[ Imitates Fat Albert ] Hey, hey, hey, hey!
[ Laughter, applause ]
- Yeah, sure thing... - I'll give you a bit more time.
- Hey, look...
- [ Imitates Porky Pig ] I'm the head chef.
I'd like to-- to talk to you
about all of the, uh, specials we have...
[ Stuttering ]
The-- The, uh-- The, uh--
The bacon loaf
and B-B-Brussels sprouts.
- Oh. Okay, the Brussels sprouts sound great.
- Wait, did you say the bed-up-de-dup
Brussels sprouts, or are they just regular
Brussels sprouts? - Yes.
[ Laughter, applause ]
- Hey, look, I'm just going to admit it to you.
I'm-- here's a ring. I want to marry you right away.
- Wow, again, so--
- [ Imitates Pepé Le Pew ] Oh, sorry, I've interrupted
a special occasion.
[ Imitates skunk spraying ] - Uh-oh. Oh!
[ Laughter, applause ] Oh. Oh. Oh.
- Oh.
- [ Imitates Daffy Duck] Succotash,
suffering or otherwise? [ Laughter ]
Nonsuffering? Suffering?
- We-- We definitely don't need water, anymore, that's for sure.
- No, maybe a napkin?
[ Indistinct conversations ]
- [ Imitates Droopy ] You may not enjoy the service.
Boy, oh, boy...
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ]
So bad.
I'm a small, Black business owner...
and a good review would really,
really, really go a long way towards helping my restaurant.
Boy, oh, boy.
[ Laughter ]
- That is one depressing African-American dog, wasn't it?
Look, uh, let's just get down to this.
- I just-- I-I feel like we need more than one date for this,
but-- but thank you so much.
- Oh. - I'll still massage your...
- [ Imitates Sylvester ] Oh, I've come at a bad time.
Exit stage right.
[ Laughter, applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
- Alyson Hannigan, everybody! Give it up for Alyson Hannigan!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Alright, guys. Don't go anywhere.
There's more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this!
Stick around.
[ Cheers and applause ]
- Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
That's our show.
Tonight, our winner is the lovely Colin Mochrie.
So, please join our star guest,
Alyson Hannigan, and read out the credits
as if you are introducing your new girlfriend, Alyson,
to your very strange family played by the others.
Thanks for watching, everybody. Good night.
- Alyson, I have to-- This is Dan Patterson.
- Oh, Dan. Hello. Nice to meet you.
- Please come over here, bud. Just come over.
- Hello. - Just, if you go like this.
- Yeah. - He likes to have
his beard rubbed. - Okay.
- Aisha. - Oh, it's nice.
Yes, hi. - Hi. Hey.
- Come back, don't even go anywhere,
because you stand right by me, because you're my favorite.
- Oh, who's this? - Oh. This is my brother, Tom.
- Tom. - Yeah.
- Hi, Tom. - Thomas Smith.
- You rub his stomach, you get good luck.
- Okay, and I still have to do the beard?
Okay. - You just keep going.
Darlene, Darlene, Darlene.
- Hey. - Hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, the smell.
[ Cheers and applause ]