1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,303
-Good evening, everybody,
2
00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:07,140
and welcome to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
3
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:10,010
On tonight's show,
"Dancing with the Stars,"
4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,745
Wayne Brady;
5
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,748
dancing in the dark, Jeff Davis;
6
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:17,551
dancing baby, Colin Mochrie;
7
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:21,989
and dancing queen,
it's Ryan Stiles.
8
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,490
And I'm Aisha Tyler.
9
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:24,825
Let's have some fun!
10
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:28,595
[ Cheers and applause ]
11
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,864
Hi, everybody. Welcome.
12
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,866
Welcome to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
13
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,035
The show where
everything is made up.
14
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,570
The points, they don't matter.
15
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,071
We've got a great show
for you tonight,
16
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:41,375
so let's get started with a game
we call "Weird Newscasters."
17
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,043
This is for all four
of our performers.
18
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,145
Gentlemen, come on down.
19
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,915
In this game, Colin is
the anchor of a news program.
20
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:49,416
Jeff, Ryan, and Wayne
are his co-anchors,
21
00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:52,653
and each of whom
has a rather odd personality.
22
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:56,189
Jeff is the co-anchor
who's also an amorous, loving,
23
00:00:56,189 --> 00:01:00,661
affectionate potter working
at his wheel on new pot Colin.
24
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,096
Wayne is gonna be
the sportscaster
25
00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:04,631
who's also an army cadet
26
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:07,000
who thinks the studio
is an assault course
27
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,402
that he is training on.
28
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,437
And Ryan is
the weather forecaster
29
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,472
who's also having
furious arguments
30
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,875
with members of his family
in the studio.
31
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,444
Whenever you are ready,
gentlemen.
32
00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:18,979
Have at thee.
33
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:24,751
♪♪
34
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,453
-Welcome to the 6:00 news.
35
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:29,456
I'm your anchor,
Earl With-The-Dragon-Tattoo.
36
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:35,629
[ Laughter ]
37
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:38,565
Our top story --
a couple was arrested
38
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:41,335
in the India's tallest building
39
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:44,805
for doing as many positions
in the Kama Sutra
40
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:47,107
as possible in the elevator.
41
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,508
Said one policeman,
42
00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:50,610
"It was wrong
on so many levels."
43
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:54,414
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
44
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:56,383
Let's see what's happening
in the rest of the world
45
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:59,353
with Derry.
46
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,088
-Ooh.
47
00:02:01,088 --> 00:02:02,923
Oh, yes.
48
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:05,359
Oh, oh, yes.
49
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,360
Yes.
50
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:10,297
Shh.
51
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,465
Little water.
52
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,968
She's no Demi.
53
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,671
-[ Laughing ]
54
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,673
It'll have to do.
[ Clears throat ]
55
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:24,244
[ Laughter and applause ]
56
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:27,214
-Could've bought me dinner
first.
57
00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,182
Let's see what's happening
in the world of sports.
58
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:32,352
-[ Squeaky voice ] Yes, sir!
Cadet Johnson reporting, sir!
59
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:34,154
[ Panting ]
60
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,023
I'm here to tell you all
about what's happening
61
00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,824
in college football.
The latest,
62
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,861
it appears that
there's gonna be 15 teams
63
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,562
vying for the latest...
[ Screams ]
64
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:45,999
...latest titles.
65
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,201
Someone's gonna have to win
the season.
66
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:49,703
Someone's gonna have to do it.
67
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,139
It's gonna have to happen.
It's got to happen.
68
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,907
It's gonna happen,
but we don't know when.
69
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,442
[ Cheering ]
70
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,044
Impossible.
71
00:02:57,044 --> 00:03:00,247
[ Cheers and applause ]
72
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,883
[ Panting ]
73
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,885
[ Imitates punching ]
74
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,187
[ Panting ]
75
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,356
We don't understand exactly.
76
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,158
[ Loud cheers and applause ]
77
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,398
[ Applause continues ]
78
00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:21,234
-I made a pot.
79
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:24,938
-Let's see what's happening
in weather with Lumpy Guru.
80
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,173
-Thank you, Colin.
81
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:27,941
Check the weather
for the weekend.
82
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,709
Got rain coming in on the
weekend, which is just fine
83
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,979
because I have nothing planned
with the family,
84
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:35,549
'cause everyone's arguing.
85
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,451
They're all here in the studio
this evening with me.
86
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,019
Mom, where are you?
87
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,887
There she is, back there.
88
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,656
Mom, come down here
I need to make up with you.
89
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,424
Mom, Mom, come here.
90
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:46,893
You raised your hand.
Come here.
91
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,596
Dad? Dad where are you?!
92
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:52,432
Dad, come here, Dad.
93
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:53,934
Come here, Dad.
94
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,001
This is my...
95
00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,874
This is my mother, Irene.
-Hello. Yes.
96
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,376
-This is my father, Albert.
97
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:05,846
And also my --
my three brothers are here.
98
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,381
Jim -- Jim, Jack, Phil, come
down here, if you will, please.
99
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,719
And...
100
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,622
And I think
what's causing the argument
101
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:18,291
probably is the fact
that we have three brothers.
102
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:20,527
But that man!
103
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:23,063
Thinks he's part of the family.
104
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,364
Come here, Jerry.
105
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:31,004
Even though we argue,
106
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:34,040
this family shares something
a lot of families can't.
107
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,909
We have a family song
108
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:38,211
that we sing every Christmas.
109
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,547
Don't laugh!
110
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:43,550
Richie's always been
the joker of the family.
111
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:47,220
Let's sing the family song.
Just the first verse is fine.
112
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,256
Remember our last name
is Stiles.
113
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:57,564
♪ Oh, Stiles family ♪
114
00:04:57,564 --> 00:05:02,969
♪ We love each other ♪
115
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:06,606
♪ Except Richie ♪
116
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,011
I'll see you guys
after the show.
117
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,813
Mom, Mom, give me a hug, Mom.
118
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:16,883
-Bye, son.
119
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:20,153
Mom, give me another hug.
120
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,722
-Well, that's all time
we have for news.
121
00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:25,926
Goodnight...and good news.
122
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:31,431
[ Cheers and applause ]
123
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:37,437
Never seen anyone twice as old
as their mother and father.
124
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:40,740
-Or twice as tall.
125
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:44,411
Or twice as white.
126
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:47,180
500 points to that lady for
turning out a big Caucasian guy.
127
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,982
-We're all family.
-Whoo!
128
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,717
-We're all family.
-That's right!
129
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,886
-We're all family.
130
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,254
-Now, my friends,
131
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,323
it's time for a game
called "Hoedown!"
132
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,227
This is where all of our
performers
133
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,428
with Laura Hall at the piano.
134
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:04,364
So what I need from the audience
is a suggestion.
135
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,434
I need a suggestion that I hope
I'm gonna get to use!
136
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,135
And I would like a suggestions
137
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:11,004
for a type of restaurant
that you might eat at.
138
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,205
[ Shouting suggestions ]
139
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,907
Ohh!
140
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,742
[ Shouting continues ]
141
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:17,877
Alright, I actually did hear
Mexican,
142
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,313
so we're gonna go
with Mexican food, alright?
143
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,782
Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear
the Mexican food hoedown.
144
00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:26,119
♪♪
145
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:30,523
[ Audience clapping
rhythmically ]
146
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:32,225
♪ I eat Mexican food ♪
147
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,261
♪ I eat it with my amigo ♪
148
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:35,528
♪ If we ate together ♪
149
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,931
♪ I would say contigo ♪
150
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,733
♪ Do you want these chips ♪
151
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,701
♪ These chips, I got those ♪
152
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:43,470
♪ No, no-no-no, don't touch
that, ♪
153
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,639
♪ Uh-ah, nachos ♪
154
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:53,446
♪ I love fajitas, enchiladas,
burritos, too ♪
155
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:55,282
-Woof.
-♪ I could eat them all day ♪
156
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,350
♪ Yippe-yi, yoo-hoo ♪
157
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,052
♪ As I just eat them ♪
158
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,121
♪ Yes, I do feel fine ♪
159
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,856
♪ You know, I'm kind of tired ♪
160
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,791
♪ Make up your own punch line ♪
161
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,130
♪ I'm swimming in the pool ♪
162
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,866
♪ I ate all the food
they brought ♪
163
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,668
♪ I thought it was something ♪
164
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,469
♪ Maybe I shouldn't have not ♪
165
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:18,371
♪ I ran into the bathroom ♪
166
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:20,340
♪ And whipped down my Speedo ♪
167
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:21,808
♪ And right there on the floor ♪
168
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:24,110
♪ I dropped a big,
huge burrito ♪
169
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:32,052
♪ I just got back
from good-old Mexico ♪
170
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,586
♪ I sure like those chilies ♪
171
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,622
♪ I eat them, don't you know ♪
172
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,424
♪ I like to go down south ♪
173
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,392
♪ And do a Spanish dance ♪
174
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:40,927
♪ And after I eat chili ♪
175
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:43,396
♪ I make chili in my pants ♪
176
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:47,267
♪ Chili in my pants ♪
177
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,768
-[ Speaking indistinctly ]
178
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:50,837
-Hey, don't go away!
We'll be back with more
179
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:54,040
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after these messages.
180
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,408
Thank you.
181
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,650
-Welcome back to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
182
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,353
And now we're gonna move on
to a game called "Infomercial."
183
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:10,090
This game is for Ryan and Colin.
Come on down.
184
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,692
Grab your box of fun.
In this game,
185
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,928
our boys are gonna be
trying to sell their audience
186
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:16,863
some utterly useless items.
187
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,231
And you've got them there,
188
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,367
and you're gonna be
selling a kit
189
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,669
to help a person
get a better night's sleep.
190
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,270
When you're ready, take it away.
191
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,876
-Hey, what's up?
-Huh? Oh, man.
192
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,544
I'm sorry Colin.
Oh, we're on the air.
193
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,179
-Yeah.
Hey, you look like
194
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,581
you're not getting enough sleep
at night.
195
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:36,383
-I didn't sleep a wink
last night.
196
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:39,319
-[ Quickly ] Then have we got
something for you!
197
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:42,389
-I did sleep.
-Ha, he's lying!
198
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,290
He's a big liar!
-But it is a big problem
199
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:47,127
with a lot of people.
-Yes, the technical term
200
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,763
is insomnia.
-Really? What's that mean?
201
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,731
-It means I can't
sleep at night.
202
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:53,199
-Oh.
203
00:08:56,936 --> 00:09:00,306
-Here is something that I think
you will be amazed at.
204
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,778
-Oh.
-This deadens --
205
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,513
-Oh, my God!
Are you alright?
206
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,715
-No, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Wow.
207
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,950
It immediately cuts off...
-The hell happened?
208
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,086
-You were explaining this.
-It cuts off all the oxygen --
209
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,287
-Oh, no, geez.
-Oh.
210
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,022
-I'm not gonna even put that
on you anymore.
211
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,424
-No, but that's the quick way,
212
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:21,060
although it has been shown
to cause hemorrhoids.
213
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,896
-You know, a lot of people
can't sleep because they
214
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,331
haven't got the right pillow.
That's a big problem.
215
00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:29,235
-That is a big problem.
-That's why we introduced...
216
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,004
the wheel pillow.
-That's right.
217
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,139
-A lot of people flip and flop
in bed all night.
218
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,874
I'm on my left side,
and I'm on my right side.
219
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:37,410
This way, you can
constantly move all night.
220
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,411
-Or...
221
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,617
...like that.
222
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:48,822
[ Cheers and applause ]
223
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,124
-You know, Col.
-What?
224
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,726
-A lot of times people
don't know it's nighttime.
225
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:56,396
Is it daytime right now,
or...
226
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:59,065
is it nighttime right now?
227
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,433
-I don't know,
it's hard to think
228
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,035
with all the cuts on my scalp!
229
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:10,677
[ Laughter ]
230
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,779
Yeah, I guess it's nighttime.
231
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,814
-A good sense of humor
will help you fall asleep.
232
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:16,316
-That's right, and if you don't
fall asleep
233
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,917
for a long time, what happens?
234
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:20,353
-[ Gasps ]
235
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:24,090
[ Buzzer ]
236
00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:28,027
[ Cheers and applause ]
237
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:31,264
-I don't know how
to assign points for that, so...
238
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,266
-We have so many points already.
-You do.
239
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,001
You guys are loaded.
240
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,070
Next up is a game called
"Scenes From A Hat."
241
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,872
This is for all my performers.
242
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,741
Ryan and Colin there.
Wayne and Jeff, you are here.
243
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:45,278
Now, before the show
we asked our audience
244
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,146
to right down some scenes
they'd like to see acted out
245
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,015
by our gentlemen performers.
I've got the suggestions
246
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,316
in this hat.
I'm gonna read them out.
247
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,319
And if you are ready, gentlemen,
here's the first one.
248
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,890
Strange lines to hear
in a war movie.
249
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:01,094
-If I don't make it back,
250
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,329
it'll be because I'm dead.
251
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,397
[ Buzzer ]
252
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,403
-We will defend this hill
no matter the cost!
253
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,938
[ Imitates ping ]
[ High-pitched squeal ]
254
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:18,578
-[ Silly voice ] Oh, we have
ways of getting people to talk.
255
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:26,152
♪ 100 bottles of beer
on ze wall ♪
256
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:29,656
♪ 100 bottles of beer ♪
257
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:30,857
[ Buzzer ]
258
00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:37,363
-Things you should not
turn into a competition.
259
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,034
-Yo!
260
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,505
♪ [ Rapping ] Well, we're gonna
rap right to the death ♪
261
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,407
♪ Right there now
to my dying breath ♪
262
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,108
♪ Yippee-yi-oh-yi-aye ♪
263
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:51,077
♪ Yippee-yi-oh-ki-aye ♪
264
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,784
[ Laughter and applause ]
265
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,218
[ Buzzer ]
266
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:04,757
-Ready.
-Yep.
267
00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:05,992
-Set. Go.
268
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:13,999
[ Grunts, imitates explosion
and baby cry ]
269
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:16,169
[ Grunts, imitates fart ]
-Oh.
270
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,170
[ Buzzer ]
271
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:20,440
[ Laughter ]
272
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,576
[ Cheers and applause ]
273
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,079
-Let the head licking
competition begin!
274
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:34,153
[ Applause ]
275
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:43,229
[ Laughter and applause ]
276
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:44,464
[ Buzzer ]
277
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,233
[ Laughter continues ]
278
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:58,444
[ Laughter ]
279
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,246
[ Laughter and cheering ]
280
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:01,547
[ Buzzer ]
281
00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:05,051
-[ Laughing ]
[ Applause ]
282
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,522
-Things you can say on a farm
283
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:12,558
that you cannot say
about your partner.
284
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,097
-What a great hoe.
285
00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:19,999
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
286
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:27,607
-It's been dry for five years.
287
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:28,841
[ Buzzer ]
288
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:31,377
[ Applause ]
289
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,116
-[ Sighs ]
290
00:13:37,116 --> 00:13:39,752
They say that nothing's
gonna grow,
291
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:42,722
but I keep putting my seed in
it, and I will not give up.
292
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,357
[ Buzzer ]
293
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,328
-Uh-oh, looks like my cock
got out again.
294
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,897
[ Buzzer ]
295
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,667
It's a rooster.
296
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,703
-What news anchors are saying
297
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:59,072
when they're
shuffling their papers.
298
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,110
-And we'll be right back
after this.
299
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:05,511
[ Chuckles ]
300
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:09,282
[ Muttering ] Oh, I wish I could
strangle you in your sleep.
301
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:11,718
You're horrible to look at.
You're just a vile person.
302
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:14,020
You really are just --
-What is wrong with you, Tad?
303
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:19,158
[ Buzzer ]
304
00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:20,560
-Okay, there's more
"Whose Line"
305
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,894
coming after these messages.
306
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:23,329
You know what to do.
307
00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:31,671
-Hey, welcome back
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
308
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,906
And we're gonna move on to
a game called "Greatest Hits."
309
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:35,541
This is a game
for all four of performers
310
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,343
with the help Laura Hall
and Linda Taylor
311
00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:39,412
on piano and guitar.
Ryan and Colin
312
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:42,248
are two television
voice-over personalities.
313
00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:44,684
They're talking about
the latest compilation album.
314
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,252
Wayne and Jeff are gonna
sing snippets
315
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:48,254
of the songs on the album.
316
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:49,889
And what I need
from the audience right now
317
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,159
is an exciting American city.
318
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:57,663
[ Shouting suggestions ]
319
00:14:57,663 --> 00:15:01,667
How about San Francisco.
320
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,035
So, we're gonna do an album
321
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:05,404
entitled
"Songs of San Francisco."
322
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:06,773
Take it away, boys.
323
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,074
-Hi, we'll be right back
324
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:12,278
to our game show based on the
movie "Deliverance,"
325
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:15,081
"Let's Make a Squeal"
in just a second.
326
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,651
-Aloha, San Francisco.
327
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,419
-Wow, I didn't know you spoke
San Franciscan.
328
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,421
-I do.
329
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:23,790
-One of the great songs on this
330
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:26,626
is sung by an unusual
pairing you may think --
331
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,060
Johnny Cash and Yoko Ono.
332
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:31,898
-Oh!
333
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,666
-Way to "yes and."
334
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,935
So, please,
335
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,972
just sit back
and enjoy this incredible song,
336
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,008
"Tale of the Fog Bandit."
337
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:45,611
-[ Country accent ]
Hello, everybody.
338
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,114
I'm Johnny Cash.
339
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:51,684
Well, there's a sad song that
happened in San Francisco about,
340
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:52,885
I don't know, 80 years ago.
341
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,720
It goes a little
something like this.
342
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,091
Well, there was a man
343
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:01,661
from San Anton.
344
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,363
♪ He moved out to the Bay area ♪
345
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,566
♪ All alone ♪
346
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,568
♪ He started robbing banks ♪
347
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,637
♪ But then he got caught ♪
348
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:15,541
♪ It turns out the foggy bandit
was not so hot ♪
349
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:16,843
♪ No, he was not so hot ♪
350
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:21,280
[ Off key ] ♪ He not so hot ♪
351
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:25,451
♪ [ Yodeling ] Oh yeah ♪
352
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:30,590
[ Off key ] ♪ Bandiiiit ♪
353
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:34,193
♪ Ohhhh ♪
354
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,762
Your turn.
-♪ Well he was in jail ♪
355
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:39,932
♪ For about 500 years ♪
356
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:44,604
♪ He could've swam across that
Bay with his tears ♪
357
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,939
♪ Well, the foggy bandit
snuck out one night ♪
358
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,508
♪ But his luck ran out
just then ♪
359
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:53,479
♪ They caught him again and they
threw him back in that pen ♪
360
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:56,682
♪ Back in that pen ♪
361
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:57,917
Take it, Yoko.
362
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:05,791
[ Off key ] ♪ Hey ♪
363
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:10,029
[ Vocalizing ]
364
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:14,767
[ Vocalizing continues ]
365
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,103
[ Growling ]
-♪ Threw the foggy bandit ♪
366
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:19,672
♪ Back in that pen ♪
-[ Vocalizing ]
367
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,941
-♪ Yeah, they threw that
foggy bandit ♪
368
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:26,512
♪ Back in the pen ♪
♪ Bandiiiit ♪
369
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,484
-[ As Yoko ]
I deserve to be here.
370
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,389
-Now I understand her last name.
371
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,957
-Oh, no.
-Oh, no.
372
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:41,861
Oh...
373
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:46,432
[ Softly humming
Hawaiian music ]
374
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:47,967
-I have some pair pants
if you need them.
375
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:49,235
-No, I'm okay.
376
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,870
I was doing the hula.
-Really?
377
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,939
-Yes, 'cause our next
musical style is Hawaii,
378
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:55,341
which is just west
of San Francisco.
379
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:57,243
-Interesting.
-You can't drive there.
380
00:17:57,243 --> 00:18:00,813
Well, you can, but you're not
gonna make it very far.
381
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,081
-True fact.
-You know when I think
382
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,383
San Francisco,
and I think Hawaiian songs,
383
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:06,052
I think of that one.
[ Voice breaking ] Every time
384
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:08,754
I go to the islands,
it makes me cry.
385
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:09,822
That Hawaiian hit,
386
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,792
"I Hate Ashbury."
387
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:22,268
♪♪
388
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:27,740
[ Vocalizing hula singing ]
389
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:32,845
[ Vocalizing continues ]
390
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:38,384
[ Singing fake Hawaiian ]
I hate Ashbury.
391
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:44,190
♪ We're the people
in the little shorts ♪
392
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,692
[ Ooh'ing ]
393
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:52,398
[ Vocalizing ]
394
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:57,036
[ Laughter ]
395
00:18:57,036 --> 00:19:04,443
[ Laughter continues ]
396
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:08,347
[ Vocalizing continues ]
397
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:15,488
[ Deep voice Hawaiian chanting ]
398
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:18,457
♪ [ Fake Hawaiian ]
coming down the lava ♪
399
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:20,893
♪ The lava coming next you see ♪
400
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:24,830
♪ And it burned all the hippies
out on the Haight-Ashbury ♪
401
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,799
[ Vocalizing ]
402
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:29,902
[ Deep voice vocalizing ]
403
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,938
[ Exhaling rhythmically ]
[ Vocalizing continues ]
404
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:36,609
♪ And will this hole away ♪
405
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:39,578
♪ For we hate Ashbury ♪
406
00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:41,814
♪ I hate them ♪
407
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:48,254
♪ 'Cause I hate Ashbury ♪
408
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:50,923
[ Cheers and applause ]
409
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,892
-Hey, I'm gonna tell you
who won our show tonight
410
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,293
right after this break.
411
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:56,128
Stay where you are.
412
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,701
-Hi, everybody. Welcome back to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
413
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,837
That is our show.
Tonight's winner
414
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,038
is Mr. Wayne Brady.
-Oh.
415
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,339
-So I'd like you
to read out the credits
416
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,742
as the front man
of a rock band on stage,
417
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,977
and the others are
your wild band mates.
418
00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:14,113
Don't break a hip, boys.
Goodnight.
419
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:15,648
-[ British accent ]
Alright, everybody,
420
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,049
thank you so much
for coming back.
421
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,485
This has been our third time
touring with Mark Leveson.
422
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:22,088
He's still alive.
Jimmy Mulville on drums.
423
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:24,723
Ryan Stiles,
he's an amazing promoter.
424
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,992
Geraldine Dowd,
she's the best chick
425
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:28,494
I've ever had in my life.
426
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:31,697
[ Singsong voice ]
One, two, three, Colin Mochrie.
427
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:33,199
-[ Cheering ]
-With Jeff Davis
428
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:34,600
and [indistinct].
429
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,635
Simon and [Indistinct].
-[ Cheering continues ]
430
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:38,971
-Hey, wait, put your pants on,
Ray Miller.
431
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:41,874
-[ Laughing ]
-We want to thank you so much.
432
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,676
-[ Cheering ]
-And stop. Will you stop?
433
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,311
We only have one fan.
434
00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:46,779
Goodnight!
435
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:52,785
[ Cheers and applause ]