-Good
-Good evening
-Good evening everybody
On tonight's show, champion
fine filly Jeff Davis,
put out to stud, Colin Mochrie,
and turned into glue,
And I'm Aisha Tyler.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome, everyone.
Welcome to
the show where everything
and the points do not matter.
-[ Laughs ]
It's funny isn't it?
-We got a great show
so let's get started right now
entitled "Questions."
This is for all
Jeff and Wayne are there.
Grab your hats and wigs now.
The way that this game
Wayne and Jeff are
but they can only
and I'll buzz when
The person behind them will then
However, each time they come in,
they have to assume
based on whatever wig or hat
on their noggins.
And the scene you will be
is "Passions Erupt
Whenever you're ready,
-Where are your carpets?
-Can you keep a secret?
-Have you ever heard
who's not loved by her man?
-Who do you think
[ Groans ]
-Cheryl, is that you?
-You know my given name?
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Are you in denial?
-Only if you kiss my ass.
[ Buzzer ]
-Your ass sphinx.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
-How can I help you?
-Oh, where's your
-What are you implying?
-You know what I implying.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Did somebody ask
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Shouldn't you be
-Who does your hair?
-Who doesn't?
-More than one person
-Get away.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Looking for some tail?
-I was hoping for some ass.
[ Laughter ]
That's not a question.
[ Buzzer ]
It was just so funny.
[ Applause ]
-Salieri?
-Are those your real teeth?
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Where's the complaint
-What are you
-Wouldn't you be angry
-It's -- I haven't, oh, ah!
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Where do you keep
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Wherrrrrrrrre...
is the children's department?
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheering ]
-What's your name?
-Are you hitting on me?
-Want to see what's
-Could you never
-Are those your real horns?
-What time do you get off?
Wait, don't I work here?
[ Laughter ]
-Did you just get off?
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
I thought that was superlative.
Yes.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Alright, our next game
This game is for all four
so come down here.
The way this game works is that
of film, and we've removed
and now Ryan, Colin,
are going to re-voice the clip
So the scene I'd like you
"Making Plans For The Evening."
Have fun.
-What do you think we could --
-Morning, Harry. Hello, Phyllis.
How are the two of you?
Keep your clothes on,
-No, I wanted to show you.
I've been hiking my pants up
Thank you, Phyllis.
-There's some chocolates
-Oh. Hello, Jerry. How are ya?
-I'm good. How are you?
-Oh, yeah, oh.
Ah, uh-huh. Yeah.
I don't read, Jerry,
-Oh, great.
I brought it all the way here.
-Well, you know I
Why would you
-You're right. I'll just
-That's why
-The phone didn't even ring.
-Hi, honey. How are you?
No, Jerry's trying
-Yeah.
Reading is underrated.
-It's for the domestics,
I'm filthy --
This is costing me
Hurry up.
-I would love to romp
that I killed
oh, and, and rubbed
-Oh, that's it.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Applause ]
-That was both
-Oh, yeah.
-I was laughing,
Alright, now we're going
called "Irish Drinking Song."
This game is for all four
and Laura Hall on the piano.
What I need from the audience
you might go on a date.
Where's some place
[ Audience
-Alright, yeah, that's good.
Okay.
We're going to send
-So the "Irish Drinking Song"
[ Laughter ]
What?!
[Bleep] be crazy!
-So, gentlemen,
"The Bar Irish Drinking Song."
[ Piano plays ]
-♪ Oh, idy-didy-didy,
-♪ I picked the [stammering] ♪
[ Laughter ]
-♪ I heard they called ♪
[ Laughter ]
-That was so committed.
-I smell toast. I smell toast.
-I was joking.
-♪ Oh, idy-didy-didy,
-♪ I picked a place
-♪ It's called
-♪ It's my favorite
-♪ I drink out of a hose ♪
-♪ Because I'm somewhat
-♪ And always have some fun ♪
-♪ And the girls are
-♪ Very few of them run ♪
-♪ Oh, idy-didy-didy,
-♪ We both got into my car ♪
-♪ She sat in the back ♪
-♪ I sat with her ♪
-♪ I just stared at her rack ♪
-♪ I leaned in
-♪ She gave me one
-♪ And now we're married today ♪
-♪ I still haven't had a peak ♪
-♪ Oh, idy-didy-didy,
-♪ Girls don't like drinking ♪
-♪ Girls want hugs ♪
-♪ They want to feel important ♪
-♪ And really expensive drugs ♪
-♪ They want a ring
-♪ Put a ring on it ♪
-♪ Because that's
-♪ I will write you a sonnet ♪
♪ Oh, idy-didy-didy,
[ Laughter ]
-♪ I will write you a sonnet ♪
♪ Didy, di ♪
[ Applause ]
-I will write you a sonnet.
I've got more "Who's Line"
right after this break.
Stay tuned.
-Welcome back to
We're going to get things
that is called "Sound Effects."
This game is for Ryan and Colin,
We're also going to need
from the audience.
The greatest game,
[ Applause ]
You look excited.
-Ali.
Head on down the stairs.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Ali. [ Laughs ]
How about you?
-Cheyenne.
Come with me, Cheyenne.
Cheyenne and Ali.
For you, Cheyenne.
-Alright.
Now, the way that this game
are going to perform a scene,
are going to provide the sound
So, Cheyenne, you'll do
and, Ali, you'll do the sound
And the scene is
you are testing weapons
when you are suddenly
of international criminals.
-Ooh.
-Ah, morning Jerry.
-Well, it's a new --
-Yep, I'm not certain
tells us it's time
-Ding, ding, ding.
When I said whistle,
I meant 1940s train track.
[ Laughter ]
-Well, let me put the targets
-Alright.
-Well...
they're so cute.
-I know.
-There we go.
grenade launcher.
-Ka-chump.
-Here, my hankie.
-My hankie.
-You all right?
-Yeah, you all right?
-Cool. Have a sip.
[ Gagging ]
[ Groans ]
-Oh, here. Be careful.
There's a library behind
so let me warn the people in the
-Oh, okay.
on the megaphone here.
-[ Grunting ]
-That ought to do her.
[ Applause ]
-A lot of wookies read there.
-A lot of wookies.
It sounded like a helicopter
-[ Chittering ]
-It's the tiniest
-Yeah, I think
-Don't let them try
-Cha-chum!
-Oh, my God, they're cutting
-Poing!
-Pew! Pew! Pew!
-I'm feeling pretty safe.
It's not working at all!
It's not working!
The most powerful gun
-A machine gun?
-It's a gun that --
-We'll see.
-Brrrrrr!
-Oh, that's cute.
-Yes.
-Oh.
-Oh, my God, look!
The terrorists are dropping
-Whee! Whee! Whee!
[ Laughter and applause ]
-These are fun terrorists.
Maybe they should
out of their name and just --
-Wait.
They're speaking to us,
but they're not speaking
-[ Speaking gibberish ]
-My God, it's huge
[ Laughter ]
-Huge Slavic women terrorists.
-They're taking all our stuff.
-Oh, one's about to shoot
-Cha-cha! Bweee!
-They missed me.
-That was close.
He's trying again.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Ali and Cheyenne everybody.
Yes!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Whee!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Well, that was just adorable.
-Whee! Whee!
-Really, like, really
-Fun terrorists.
-Oh.
-And now we're going to play
In this game,
Wayne, Colin, and Ryan
But each of them has
What Jeff has to do
So, Wayne, Colin, and Ryan,
when you are ready,
I'll bring you in one at
and, Jeff, when you are ready,
-Oh-hoo. It's going to be
[ Doorbell rings ]
Oh, here we go. Hey, man.
-What's up?
-Welcome to the hot tub party.
-Alright. Looky here,
Woop, woop.
[ Imitating engine revving ]
[ Imitating tires squealing ]
Yeah, I'll go in the car
They won't know.
[ Imitating engine revving ]
-I'm his sister.
Hey, that's my sister.
[ Imitating whirring ]
I'm Tyrese.
[ Laughter ]
[ Doorbell rings ]
-Grab a beer,
Make yourself at home.
Oh, yeah!
-Hey.
-Nice to see you.
I came over
What happened?
My water's about to break.
I-I don't think I keep,
-That's not my baby!
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
-This party's already
[ Doorbell rings ]
-Hey, man. How's it going?
-Good to see --
Here I go! [ Laughs ]
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Hey, Jeff! Hey, it's going be
-Hey!
-Do you want to put
-No, I don't want
-Are you sure?
[ Doorbell rings ]
-[ Groans ]
Okay, you can shut the door now.
You're test came back.
You're...going to be
[ Laughter ]
-Are you like
Walking around naked
[ Buzzer ]
-Get out of here!
You seem to be like a great,
A really terrible TV actor
-If it was a soap opera,
-A soap opera about...
my [bleep]
[ Laughter ]
-I'll give that to you, yes.
-Hey, come here.
Come here. I know
Come on, get in.
-Okay, okay.
[ Imitating car engine ]
[ Laughter ]
-Hey, are you that guy
You're clearly some sort of
-And I'm the one hot girl
but does not speak English
but she's very hot.
-Oh, hey, hey, hey, you should
She's pretty fast and furious.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Applause ]
-Hey! Stay tuned.
"Whose Line" fun
Stay where you are.
-Welcome back to
And we are going to play a game
This is a game for all four
of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor
The way that this game works
is Ryan and Colin are two
and they're talking about
and Wayne and Jeff
of the songs on that album.
So what I need
I need a suggestion of a job
[ Shouting suggestions ]
Okay.
Zoo keeper I heard,
a pretty good one so...
-So we're going
"Songs of the Zookeeper."
Whenever you're ready,
-Hi, we'll be right back to
starring Aisha Tyler
[ Laughter ]
-Hey, you know what?
We've assembled songs
which of course is shot
That's the name of the place.
-One of my favorite artists,
-[ Gasps ] Johnny Cash.
-That's right. Yeah. He also has
-He does?
-But he's dead.
-It was before he died.
-But what is great about it,
He partners with one of my
-Shakira?!
-You know what
-What?
-Yeah, okay.
So just sit back
Johnny Cash/Shakira duet,
"Look What the Monkeys
[ Song begins ]
-Hello, everybody.
♪ Well, monkeys
-♪ Yeah-h-h ♪
-♪ And when they get angry,
-♪ Yeah-h-h ♪
-♪ You don't want to see a
♪ So if that monkey starts
♪ Well, stay away
♪ What the monkeys do ♪
♪ What the monkeys do
[ Singing indistinctly ]
♪ Let a monkey do ♪
-♪ I saw a monkey one time ♪
♪ He was swinging from
-♪ Uh-uh, up in the air ♪
-♪ A monkey's gonna swing around
♪ Pick a bug from your hair ♪
-[ Singing indistinctly ]
-♪ Look what the monkeys do ♪
♪ It's what the monkeys do ♪
-♪ It's what the monkeys do ♪
♪ What the monkeys do ♪
-♪ They're gonna la-la-lay-lay ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I'd buy that song.
That song went to
-I got to pick up
That was dynamite.
[ Laughter ]
-You know, I love my bluegrass.
-Oh.
Washington State, so...
But, you now, when I think
I think of one that I'd like
that bluegrass hit, "Escape."
[ Song begins ]
-♪ Well, looking at the little,
♪ Look at him, look at him,
♪ Ain't that something,
♪ I've seen how
-♪ Well, run little, run little,
♪ Get out every day ♪
♪ Run little, run little,
♪ We want to see you get away ♪
-♪ Yeah, they burrowed down,
♪ Come up to the top,
♪ Oh, ha, you didn't
♪ You all don't talk
[ Laughter ]
-♪ Get away-ay-ay ♪
♪ Get away ♪
♪ Little, little, little ♪
♪ -Oh, now, did this critter
♪ I caught him
♪ That's why the critter
-♪ Run, little critter,
♪ Run, little critter,
♪ Run, little critter, gonna
-♪ Try ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Run, little critter.
Don't go anywhere.
coming at you after
Stay tuned.
-Welcome back to
That's the end of our show.
Tonight, Sir Colin Mochrie
-Whoa.
read the credits out as
trying to smuggle increasingly
through airport security.
Thanks for watching, everybody.
-Alright, make sure your liquid
-[Bleating]
You can't bring livestock here.
-It's dead stock now.
What are you trying?
What are you trying
-I got puppets.
-What's in the puppets?
-I have to take the puppet,
-I'm leaving.
Enough of this.
[ Cheers and applause ]
--