-Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to "Whose Line Is it Anyway?"
On tonight's show -- living the dream, Wayne Brady;
living la vida loca, Jonathan Mangum;
living on a prayer, Colin Mochrie;
and living in his car, Ryan Stiles.
And I'm Aisha Tyler! Let's have some fun!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yay! Yay!
Welcome, everybody.
Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" --
the show where everything is made up.
The points -- they don't matter.
We've got a great show for you tonight,
so let's get started
with a game we call "Sound Effects."
This game is for Ryan and Colin,
so gentlemen, come on down.
And we're gonna need the help of two volunteers
from the audience.
Volunteers from the audience.
I can't wait to see who's coming.
Oh, my God.
Hi! What's your name?
-Joy. -Joy. Stay where you are.
And how about you? -Reene.
-Reene. Joy and Reene. Come with me.
Joy and Reene, come on down. Come with me.
Joy and Reene. It's gonna go great.
Colin's got the other one. He'll hand it to you.
-There you go. -All right.
Now, the way that this works is that Ryan and Colin
are gonna perform a scene, and Joy and Reene
will provide the sound effects, but only when prompted.
Joy will do the sound effects for Colin.
Reene, you'll do the sound effects for Ryan.
And the scene is that Ryan and Colin are two criminals
who break into a pet store in order to tunnel
into the bank next door.
Take it away.
-Glug, glug, glug.
Glug, glug, glug.
Care for a cup of bees?
Gets me going before the job.
-All right. You know what we're gonna do?
We're gonna break into this pet store
so we can tunnel into the bank.
-I know. I heard that somewhere. -All right.
I'm just going to use my glass cutter
and cut the glass.
-Eeeeeeeeeeeee.
-Hey, look at that little fly with the head of a human.
-He went in through that small door.
-Oh. Well, let's go down there.
-Wait. I think the door -- it has a little latch.
It looks like it opens up.
-[ Imitates squeaking ]
I twisted the head off a mouse. That's horrible.
-Hey, we're criminals!
That doesn't work that way.
-Let me just push.
-Unhhhhhhh!
-All right. Make sure we don't disturb any of the animals.
-Look at all of them.
-Oh. -[ Imitates animal squeaking ]
-Oh. -What the hell was that?!
-I don't know. It's -- it might be the alarm.
-What?
-I think it might have been the alarm.
-Beeboo, beeboo, beeboo!
-Oh. -The British police are coming.
-I know. We're in so much trouble.
-All right, let's try to get into the bank.
I heard there was an old trap door here somewhere.
-Really? -Oh, here it is.
The snake tank is on top of it.
-Hisssssss!
-Oh, I just peed. -Are you all right?
-I'm very nervous. All right.
Let's just jump down to the bottom.
-All right.
-Ach! -Oh.
-Dooooo!
-I'm still going.
-Ooooooooooooooh! Do!
-Oh. It was so much farther for me.
-It was.
And you're taller. It makes no sense physically.
-All right. Let me pace off the paces
to see where the bank vault is. -All right.
-Stand back. -Ttt, ttt, ttt.
-Take off your tap shoes.
-Damn! Why did I wear those?
I'll try again. -All right.
-Dooh, dooh, dooh, dooh.
-I'm walking in your urine!
Why did you pee down here? -I didn't mean to!
-You peed down the hatch. Now it's on the floor.
-Oh, boy. Look, this is the -- the reinforced --
-Get out your drill.
-Errr. -Nope, won't work.
-Why didn't you charge it before you got down here?!
-Don't -- hey!
-Take a sledgehammer. -Ruht, ruht, ruht!
-I wasn't sure what you were doing there for a second.
-Bam.
-Let me do it. You're useless. [ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Everybody, give it up for Joy and Reene!
Thank you, ladies.
Thank you. Thank you.
Joy and Reene, everybody!
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
I must say, there's -- there's nothing like a classic
pulling-a-sledgehammer- out-of-your-pants-
and-walking-through-urine bit.
-A long one. Did you see how long that was?
-That was impressive. I was worried
about your physical health. [ Laughs ]
It's just confusing, really.
-It's not the size of the hammer.
[ Laughter ]
-And now we're gonna play a game called "Scenes from a Hat,"
which is for all four of our performers,
so Ryan and Colin, over there.
Wayne and Jonathan, you're over here.
Now, before the show, we asked our audience
to write down scenes they'd like to see acted out
by our gentlemen performers.
If you're ready, gentlemen, here we go.
"Unlikely things for football players to say in a huddle."
[ Laughter ]
-[Sighs]
All right, men.
One of y'all smell good as hell.
On three!
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ]
-65, 42, 89, 27!
I'm just gonna keep counting 'cause this feels good.
28, 93, 88!
[ Buzzer ]
-Everybody, get down.
[ Mumbles indistinctly ]
[ Laughter ]
Left foot blue.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Right arm green.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-[ Laughs ] You're right down the crotch.
Right down in the crotch.
-Exactly.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-"Weird things for a driving instructor to say."
[ Laughter ]
-I don't know.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-You can just drop me off at the next corner up here.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-[ Mimics engine ] You're doing a great job.
[ Mimics muffled crying ] Excuse me.
[ Mimics cocking gun, trunk squeaking ]
[ Mimics gunshots, trunk squeaking ]
Little Italy, over here.
[ Mimics engine ]
[ Buzzer ]
-No, no, no, no. Pull up! Pull up!
Don't let this [bleep] in. Pull up! Pull up!
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-"Jobs that should never be done in the nude."
[ Laughter ]
-All right, Darth Vader, today this ends.
[ Mimics light saber ]
Oh, God!
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Today we're going fly fishing.
Bzzzzzzzz! Thump!
[ Laughter ]
Boom!
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-All right, let's do this luge.
[ Audience oohs ]
-Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp!
[ Buzzer ]
-All right! Don't go away.
There's gonna be much more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
And now it's time to play a game called "Radio Show."
This is for all of our performers,
starting with Wayne and Jonathan acting as radio DJs.
And Ryan and Colin are gonna be
everybody else featured on this show.
So, what we need right now is a suggestion from the audience
for a subject for their show to be about.
So, what I need is a type of food.
What kind of food should their show be about?
[ Shouting suggestions ]
Ah, soup!
-What is it? -Yes.
-Soup? -All right, take it away.
[ Both mimicking into music ]
-You're listening to K-SOUP. -K-SOUP.
-Wet and hot in the morning. -Kkkkhhhhhhh!
-[ Mimic rooster crowing ]
-Moooooo!
All right. Are you ready for some soup?
It's me, Mike Minestrone in the morning, baby!
-And it's me, DJ...Salty.
[ Laughter ]
-This is the 6:00 drive time,
and we're gonna be giving you soup all day,
all night on the FM dial. -Ring, ring, ring, ring!
-On line number three, we have a caller.
-Hi, my name's Jerry. -Hey, Jerry.
-Hi. I'm -- I'm wondering about clam chowder,
and I noticed it's only served on Fridays.
And I'm wondering, is that --
is that the only day that clams come out,
or why they wouldn't serve it the whole --
-Click! -All right.
-Thank you for the call. -All right.
-We have a -- we have a caller now on line six,
a different caller. Go ahead, caller.
-Click! -Yeah, my name's Terrence Power.
I'm the head of the anti-soup lobby.
-Boooo! -Yee-haw!
-I know you're just pushing buttons.
That wasn't real people booing my stuff.
-Boo!
[ Audience booing ]
-How come you have so many people at your radio station?
-Because we are the only soup-oriented radio station
in the tri-state area, biatch!
-Soup is liquid!
It shouldn't be food. Yeah, argue that.
-Click! No, we won't.
[ Laughter ]
But what we will do is we will take a word from our sponsor...
-Hey...No...be.
Hey Nobe!
When you want to say no,
but you instead say, "Hey!"
-Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring!
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring!
[ Sobbing ] Soup has ruined my life.
-Oh. -Oh.
-My wife was trying to get romantic the other day
and walked out of the bathroom naked
and said, "Soup or sex?"
And I said, "I'll have the soup."
[ Laughter ]
-Whoo! -Whoo! [ Mimics gunshot ]
-Oh, hey, you know what goes well with soup?
-Not soup. -Exactly.
-♪ Buh, buh, buhdunala, buh, buh, buhdunala, duh ♪
[ Laughter ]
[ Both singing gibberish ]
-I'm sorry, folks. I left my grandpa and my grandma
in the car, and they're making noise.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-[ Singing gibberish ]
[ Laughter ]
-You're a naughty boy.
I'm taking your points away and giving them --
-That's all right. I'll get more later.
[ Laughter ]
I gots them points.
-Ooh, it's like a hip-hop song in here.
And now we play a game called "Irish Drinking Song."
This game is gonna be for all four
of our handsome gentlemen players.
Come on down.
We've got Laura Hall on piano.
So, what I need from our audience is a suggestion
for somewhere you'd go on a date.
Give me somewhere you'd go on a date.
[ Shouting suggestions ]
The movies! All right, the movies.
Let's hear an Irish drinking song
all about a date at the movies.
Take it away, boys.
-♪ Ohhhhhh ♪
♪ Aidy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di ♪
-♪ I took my lady to a movie ♪
-♪ It was a double feature ♪
-♪ The lights went down slowly ♪
-♪ And there was a big creature ♪
-♪ I saw her ♪
-Hold it. Hold it there. Hold it.
-Creature rhymes. What the [bleep]?
Creature rhymes with that.
-I moved my hand, and...
-He said "feature" and I said "creature."
That rhymes.
-If you ever doubted this [bleep] was made up,
you're welcome.
[ Laughter ]
-♪ Ohhhhh, aidy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di ♪
-Vamos a pelicula.
-♪ That is a language ♪
-♪ And I love to use it ♪
-♪ Look at the creature ♪
-♪ I took my girl ♪
-♪ We went to see a show ♪
-♪ We had such fun ♪
-♪ Yody, yody, doe ♪
-♪ Aidy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di ♪
-I...
[ Laughter ]
-♪ Oh, aidy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di ♪
-♪ I saw my girl so pretty ♪
-♪ I hugged her 'round the arms ♪
-♪ I kissed her right on the lips ♪
-♪ I caressed her lucky charms ♪
-♪ She called me in the morning ♪
-♪ And then she said to me ♪
-♪ I love you so much, so much ♪
-♪ Hey, look, I'm in 3D ♪
-♪ Oh, aidy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di ♪
-♪ We got married two days later ♪
-♪ I'm so happy now ♪
-♪ We watch movies as a wedded couple ♪
-♪ Don't ask me how ♪
-♪ Horror or some drama ♪
-♪ Some babies on the way ♪
-♪ Maybe romantic comedy ♪
-♪ Should tell her that I'm gay ♪
-♪ Oh, aidy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di ♪
-♪ Then there was a knock at the door ♪
-♪ Who was it, but her ♪
-♪ She had a new boyfriend ♪
-♪ You -- oh, cold, brr ♪
-♪ I slammed the door in her face ♪
-♪ I mean, come on, what the hell? ♪
-♪ They snuck in through the window ♪
-♪ I began to swell ♪
-♪ Oh, aidy, didy, didy, didy, didy, didy, di ♪
♪ Oh, aidy, didy, didy, didy ♪
-♪ Diiii-diiii, diiiii-diiiii-di ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Do not go away!
We'll be right back with more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" --
where everything is made up and the points don't matter.
And now we're gonna play a game called "Greatest Hits."
This is a game for all four of our performers with the help
of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor on piano and guitar.
Guys, come on down.
Now, the way this game works
is that Ryan and Colin are two television voice-over artists
talking about the very latest compilation album.
So, what I need is a suggestion from the audience here.
Could you give me a place where you would go to exercise?
[ Shouting suggestions ]
Park. Awesome. Yes. Okay.
I heard lots of wonderful things,
but I'm going to go with park.
So, the name of your album is "Songs of the Park."
Take it away.
-Hi.
We'll be back to our documentary on exotic dog...breeding,
"Shih Tzu Happens," in just a second.
What this CD compilation has
is some very unusual and inspiring duets.
-Really? That's two people, right?
-Yep. One of my favorite rappers is DMX.
-DMX, which stands for...?
-Uh, Dark Man X.
-[ Laughs ] Dark Man X.
I did not know that. I did not know that.
-So, you're gonna -- and I --
in a million years, you'll never guess who
he dueted with on this. -I don't know.
-Exactly. Or know you not.
It's Yoda!
-Yoda? -Yes.
So, sit back and listen to this incredible DMX/Yoda duet,
"Keep Off the Grass."
[ Music playing ]
-[ Rapping ] ♪ All right, everybody right here now? ♪
♪ Right in front of me? This thing right here ♪
♪ I tell everybody, woof, woof ♪
♪ Don't go on the grass, dog, this is mine ♪
♪ Now, I see you looking at that, buddy, get on ♪
♪ Better get down right now, spill ♪
♪ This is my lawn, can't be yours ♪
♪ Have to want to stay and put you behind doors ♪
♪ If you see that how you mean ♪
♪ I'm gonna shoot you if you get on my green ♪
♪ I cut that, I get that, I hedge that ♪
♪ Remember, I'm all that ♪
♪ I will be the one you see ♪
♪ I will put my foot in you if you here up on my green ♪
♪ Because I'm like, boo! Oh, crap ♪
♪ I surprise you and I put you on the ground ♪
♪ Treat you as fertilizer ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ Get off my grass ♪
-[ As Yoda ] Mm! Mm!
-♪ Get off my grass ♪
-♪ Listen up, people, I am DJ Yoda ♪
♪ What's that smell? Oh, it's doggy odor ♪
♪ We're gonna go to It-ly, Spain, and Romey ♪
-Romey! -♪ They have parks there ♪
♪ My ass, let's all jump and Jedi in the grass ♪
-♪ Get off of my grass ♪
-♪ Get off of my grass! ♪
♪ Get off of my grass ♪
♪ I would do [indistinct] ♪
The music's done. Get off of my grass.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you.
"And Romey."
[ Cheers and applause ]
-You know, I don't know if you remember
when we were small kids, and we --
we weren't really into football or baseball,
but, boy, did we love to jump rope.
Remember that? We would jump rope day after day
until your dad took the rope away 'cause he had to tie up
your mom's hands, you know -- -All right.
-But, you know, I love my jump-rope chants.
-That's what -- you know, whenever I think of you,
that's the first thing I think of.
-Oh, yeah? -Your jump-rope chants.
-My gosh. And when I think jump-rope chants,
I think of the one --
something you'll want to stay away from at the park --
that jump-rope chant, "Goose Poo."
-[ Clapping rhythmically ]
[ Laughter ]
-♪ My mama told me never to be loose ♪
♪ Because you've got to be careful ♪
♪ Of where the poop from goose ♪
♪ Goosey, goosey, poopy, poopy stepy, stepy, ow ♪
♪ Goosey, goosey, slip, whoopsy, goosey poopy now ♪
-♪ Here's how you step if you step when you see a goose ♪
♪ It's step left, step right, slip on your caboose ♪
-♪ On your caboose ♪ -♪ That is right ♪
♪ 'Cause it's goosey, goosey, stink ♪
♪ Goosey, goosey, goosey, there is goosey in the drink ♪
-♪ There is goosey in the drink, call the son and daughter ♪
♪ Look at that goosey poop floating on that water ♪
♪ Goosey poop, goosey poop, from no dog or beagle ♪
♪ Goosey poop, it is much more docile than an eagle ♪
-♪ Goosey poop ♪ -♪ Goosey poop ♪
-♪ G-O-O-S-E ♪
-♪ P-O-P ♪
♪ Is "pop," I left out an "O" ♪
-♪ That's okay, don't you know? It's goosey poop ♪
-♪ Goosey poop, Goosey, goosey, goosey poop ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Goosey "pop." -Goosey "pop."
-Incredibly fun and borderline gay.
You know, I can't get enough of that.
-No, I --
[ Laughter ]
Anyway, one of the best duets on this album --
again, another unusual pairing --
-Oh, it's another duet, is what you're saying?
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
So, sit back and enjoy this Bob Dylan/Seal combo.
-What?! Bob Dylan and Seal?
-Yeah. Not a seal, but Seal.
Bob Dylan and Seal with their great park song,
"Broken Swings and Monkey Bars."
[ Music playing ]
♪♪
-[ Singing indistinctly as Bob Dylan ]
♪ That kid's waiting on a line outside ♪
♪ Well, they try to jump up and grab 'em ♪
♪ But, oh, how can it be? ♪
♪ It broke, and little Timmy fell victim to gravity ♪
-[ Barking like a seal ]
-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ -[ Continues barking ]
-♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
[ Wayne singing gibberish, Jonathan continues barking ]
♪♪
-♪ Broken swings and monkey bars ♪
[ Sings indistinctly ]
-[ Barking like a seal ]
-♪ Broken swings and monkey bars ♪
♪ And there's goose poop on the slide ♪
-[ Barking ]
[ Laughter ]
-[ Speaks indistinctly ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Find out who the winner is right after this short break.
Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
Sadly, that's the end of our show,
but tonight's winners are Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie.
So, I would like you to read out the credits
as documentary filmmakers stuck in a shark cage.
Jonathan and Wayne are the sharks.
Thanks for watching, everybody. Good night.
-How did we ever get stuck in here?
-I told Dan Patterson this was a bad idea.
-Why wouldn't you listen to Dan Patterson?
What about Jimmy Mulville?
-They're using the Ryan Stiles winch.
-You know what I feel like?
I feel like I'm on Noah's Ark with two sharks here.
-Oh, my God. That's -- That's --
-That's a hammerhead. -Yes.
Otherwise known as an Aisha Tyler.
-Oh, Neil Sidwell's sure to get us out of here.
Oh, my gosh! My liver's gone.
Ow! God. That really...
-It's all right. I'm part Spam.
Oh, it got me right in the Ed Greene.
♪♪
-- Captions by VITAC --
[ Cheers and applause ]