-Good evening, everybody
and welcome to
On tonight's show --
life of the party,
Always a good time,
Nobody parties
and who invited Ryan Stiles?
And I'm Aisha Tyler.
Let's have some fun!
[ Applause ]
Woo. Hey!
Hey, everybody.
welcome to
The show where
and the points don't matter.
We've got a great show
so let's get started right now
with a game called
which is for all four
So, guys come on down.
[ Applause ]
The way this game works
are gonna be acting
and Colin is gonna
who keeps giving the actors
on how to improve
So, the scene that you guys
is that Ryan and Gary,
you are two hard-nosed mechanics
when it suddenly
and Wayne is
who arrives on
Take it away.
-You wanna hear it again?
Heroic, sexy...
[ Crowd catcalls ]
...but of middling
who comes to save the day.
Take it away.
-Okay, I will.
Maybe if you
you could get under the car.
-Alright.
-Well, here's the problem.
There's no oil in this sucker.
-Ah, let me just spit into it,
-Well, that was unnecessary.
Why would you do that?
The engine!
What did you do?
-[ Imitating fire truck siren ]
[ Barking like fire dog ]
[ Imitating siren ]
[ Sound of brakes ]
-Hi.
-That was a lot of work
[ Imitates fire hose ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Who needs saving?
-Well, you put out
but you started one in my heart.
-Cut, cut, cut, cut,
-This isn't gonna turn
-No.
-You sure?
If that was shown
people would still walk out.
Alright, you know what?
Why don't you do as many crazy
-Ah!
Action.
[ Audience laughs ]
-I'm gonna throw marbles
and roll underneath the car.
-But first, I'm gonna
-Ahh.
-Alright, pee in the opening.
[ Audience laughs ]
-Oh, that ain't right.
-For no apparent reason,
I'm just going to
-Hey, let's take her
[ Imitates car door opening ]
Don't sit down!
-Woo!
[ Imitates getting hit ]
-Woo!
-You took his foot off!
-Woo!
-Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
-I know.
And if I hear you say
"pee in the opening"
Alright, what I need --
-It depends what you're gonna
-Yeah. You know what,
We need an emotional base.
passionately in love
-I'll go ahead and lay out
so you can slide
-I'm just the guy
[ Audience laughs ]
[ Audience cheers ]
Pee in the hole.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Wait, wait.
Hey --
what do you say we just
take this vibrating monster
-Alright, but why don't you just
-Is there any other way?
[ Audience laughs ]
-[ Imitates fire truck siren ]
[ Imitates clicking ]
-Oh.
Look at the size
-Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Applause ]
-I would like to give you
because I'm in love with love.
-Oh.
-I mean, not with any of you,
-Oh.
-Okay, now we're gonna move on
to a game called
This is for Wayne,
Come on down. Gary, relax.
You three are gonna be
but Colin and Ryan
They're gonna be using these
by two adorable yet gullible
Wave, ladies. Thank you. Hi.
Thank you for
and in advance, I'm sorry.
Okay, so the scene is that Wane,
and Ryan and Colin enter --
you're robbers who've come
And good luck.
-Got everything you need?
-The bank opens in two minutes.
-Alright.
They won't recognize me.
-Ditto.
-Open.
-Give all your money.
Oh, my God!
-All your money.
-Welcome to -- welcome to
Oh, my eyes!
-Wait, the lasers.
I have to deflect the lasers.
-Alright.
-What do you two want?
-My blood sugar is way down.
-What do you two want?
-[ Mouth full ]
-Nothing, nothing.
-Yeah, I'm gonna need
[ Audience laughs ]
Look, I'll be happy
back around to the vault.
Why don't you --
Get your hands up.
Tie him up.
-I have a real
[ Applause ]
I've got some nitro.
-Okay, I'll do
Please, just don't hurt me.
-Right, I'm gonna try
see if it works on the safe.
-Alright, good.
No.
-No.
-[ Scuffling ]
-Quick, shoot him
[ Grunting ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Alright, stop!
We'll give you money.
I feel bad about
Sorry we ever came in here.
-Thank you very much.
-Believe it or not,
[ Applause ]
Here. Here's an iTunes card.
-Thank you so much.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Alright guys.
We're gonna be right back with
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
-Welcome back to
And now we're gonna
"Two-Line Vocabulary."
This is for Colin,
Come on down gentlemen.
You are gonna act out a scene,
Wayne and Ryan
each of you will be able to say
So Wayne, the lines
"What's wrong with that?"
And Ryan, all you can say
and "Do you want some of this?"
Colin, you can say
The scene is that
you are jungle explorers
and you must get back
Take it away.
-[ Imitates chopping ]
We've got to get past
They seem to have surrounded
but I've radioed our ship,
and they're going to meet us
-What's that smell?
-What's wrong with that?
-Absolutely. Once we face
-What's that smell?
-Not me.
I was not saying it was you.
-Do you want some of this?
-Well, do you --
Save some for the natives,
'cause I may use it
-What's that smell?
-Do you want some of this?
-Well, no, I just said no.
-What is that smell?
-I told you,
Just hold your gun.
-It's cheese.
There's nothing wrong with it.
It's supposed to
Now, come on.
[ Ululation ]
-[ Imitating gunfire ]
What's that smell?
-I'm guessing it's gunpowder
and the burning bird
-You want some of this?
-What's wrong with that?
-I'll tell you
now they know where we are.
You're eating a raw bird.
-Not me.
-What is that smell?
-It's a man eating a raw bird.
-What's wrong with that?
-Alright, listen,
We have to work as one.
-[ Imitates arrow firing ]
-Not me.
[ Groans ]
-Do you want some of this?
Why are you stabbing me
-What's that smell?
-It's the smell
Are you alright?
Use me as a...guy.
-You want some of this?
-What's that smell?
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-[ Laughing ] I don't know why
[ Laughing hysterically ]
Why would you pull the --
Why did you pull
Why did you just
-I'm sorry, are you
[ Laughing ]
-Oh, my God.
Everybody gets
I enjoyed that immensely. Yes.
[ Applause ]
Alright.
Next up is a game called
for all four
Come this way. I'm so excited.
[ Applause ]
Alright.
Now, before the show
we asked our audience
they would like to see acted out
I've got the suggestions
I'm gonna read them out.
Gentlemen.
"Unlikely things
[ Laughing ]
-There's no saving you.
[ Buzzer ]
-Jeffrey and Tim,
That's so cool.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughing ]
-For one dollar,
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-"Outtakes from
-And here are the --
[ Muffled ] Oh my God, the
[ Buzzer ]
-[ Imitates wingbeats ]
-Ahh!
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
-[ In a Jamaican accent ]
the rest of the team
It's just the two of us, hey?
-[ In Jamaican accent ]
[ Imitates sliding sound ]
[ Imitates bobsled sounds ]
-Okay.
-[ Imitates wingbeats ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Buzzer ]
-"Weird questions to find
-"Is that your final answer?"
Hmm.
[ Buzzer ]
-"What are you wearing?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
-"Things you can say
that you can't say
[ Audience oohs ]
-I like your crack.
[ Audience laughing ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Yeah, you could do that.
-Hmm, that's
Why don't you put some speckle
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughing ]
-Well, I'm sure if you
-[ Laughing ]
[ Buzzer ]
-I don't think even my snake
[ Audience laughs ]
[ Buzzer ]
-"Using the word "boing,"
[ Laughs ]
...for Viagra to kick in."
-Pinocchio, are you lying again?
-Boing.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Audience laughs ]
-[ Imitates buzzing ]
[ Imitates click ]
[ Imitates spraying ]
[ Imitates lasers ]
-Boing.
[ Audience laughs ]
[ Buzzer ]
-"People you wouldn't want to
-You're kidding! I had
[ Audience laughs ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Hi, we're the Kardashians.
[ Audience laughs, screams ]
You know...
[ Buzzer ]
-Don't go away,
with more
right after this.
-Welcome back to
We are gonna keep things rolling
with a game called
And this is a game for
with the help of
on piano and guitar.
[ Applause ]
Ryan and Colin are
talking about
and Gary and Wayne are gonna
So, I need a suggestion
Can you give me the name of
an exciting
[ Shouting suggestions ]
I hear Florida. Florida.
Alright, so the name
"Songs Of Florida."
Take it away.
-Hi, we'll be right back to
the Viagra Olympics:
in just a second.
-You know Colin,
all about Florida on three CDs.
-Oh, that's just insane.
-Of course, and of course,
for Fabulous Lovers of --
-We don't have time.
-You know, when I was serving
-Things were tough then.
I was in with the Salvation Army
-It was brutal.
-Brutal.
Marine marching chants
who often practiced over there,
and often the Marines
They loved the state so much.
And you know what,
all about the wonderful
I think of the one
"Squeeze That Juice."
[ Patriotic music plays ]
-Left! Left! Left-right-left!
Squeeze the juice,
Far as you can see,
-[ Both ] Squeeze the juice!
Squeeze it to C,
-Squeeze a orange,
If you can't find a fruit,
-Now squeeze, squeeze.
-Squeeze.
-I don't know,
-Squeeze them juices,
-Squeezing the juices,
-Sound off!
-Squeeze 'em on down.
-Take a lift up,
Coming down,
[ Cheers and applause ]
-That was much more sexual than
-Yeah.
-I need a glass of orange juice
-Squeeze that juice,
-Scarvy, I think it was. Scarvy?
-You know,
about these CD compilations is
who come together to make music.
-That's true.
-Okay, no you can make it.
I like it.
-One of the best duets
and it's quite unusual, with
-Never see those
-No. Well, of course
"I yam what I am,
-Oh. I didn't know that.
-I did not know that.
-But this is one
Yeah, so sit back
this great Barry White -
"I Sunk My Entire Life Savings
[ Music plays ]
-[ As Barry White ]
Oh, baby.
I know you're wondering
where all that money
I gotta tell you
You probably
but I gotta tell you anyway.
♪ Oh, darling,
♪ At least, most of it ♪
♪ I spent all our money, baby,
♪ I can't quit ♪
♪ Just getting into the place
♪ Just so I can run around
♪ Like overheated
-[ As will.i.am, rapping ]
Alright, we do this
Stop, stop, waiting in
Waiting in the line, line, line.
You're in line.
U.S. wine in that line.
I go, why, no, you know
-♪ Oh, baby ♪
-[ Vocalizing ]
-You know that I can tell you
-Give me the coupon
-♪ Ohhh ♪
-♪ In the line, line... ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Alright, find out
right after this short break.
We'll see you in a bit.
-Welcome back to
That's the end of our show.
Tonight's winners are
and I'd like you
as two naturalists trying to
Ryan and Gary are the wildlife.
Goodnight.
-Be on the lookout
-Yes,
What is that?
That looked like a Ryan Stiles.
-Be very careful, don't --
Don't scare it.
-Oh, is that their mating call?
-Yeah. Deena Katz! Deena Katz!
-Nessanbaum! Nessanbaum!
-Hey look, a shot of
-Behind you, behind you
-Oh, it's got a gun!
-It should be going in a circle.
-Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]