[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] >> MMM. YOU LOOK PRETTY. [ CHUCKLES ]
DON'T WORRY -- I'LL THROW YA
BACK ONCE I'M DONE WITH YA.
[ CHUCKLES ]
OOH! ANOTHER FISH!
MAYBE WE CAN HAVE A
MéNAGE à TROUT.
[ REEL CRANKS ]
HUH?
>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ]
>> AAH!
>> Tommy: MR. PICKLES!
>> ♪ MR. PICKLES ♪
♪ GOOD BOY ♪
♪ NICE DOG ♪
♪ PEOPLE'S BEST FRIEND ♪
DIE!
♪ PICKLES ♪
>> Tommy: MR. PICKLES!
>> ♪ HERE HE COMES FOR YOU ♪
>> Tommy: THERE YOU ARE!
GOOD BOY!
I'M SO EXCITED TO GO CAMPING! I HOPE I CAN CATCH AN ANIMAL AND BRING IT HOME.
>> Grandpa: MR. PICKLES IS EVIL.
WE SHOULDN'T BE BRINGING HIM
WITH US.
>> Beverly: OH!
>> Grandpa: HEY!
>> Beverly: DAD!
BE MORE CAREFUL WITH THAT THING.
>> Grandpa: HMM.
[ OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> [ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ]
>> Grandpa: HUH?
>> Stanley: TOMMY, THE SECRET TO
SUCCESSFUL CAMPING IS TO HAVE A
LIST OF ACTIVITIES.
NUMBER 1 -- SET UP A TENT.
AHHH.
FINALLY, A LITTLE PEACE AND --
[ ROCK MUSIC BLARES ]
[ TIRES SQUEAL ]
>> WHOA-HO-HO!
I'M NOT A WIFEBEATER, BUT I'D
HIT THAT!
>> SHUT UP, BRETT!
>> OH! TOO MANY BUGS!
>> CAMPING MAKES ME HORNY.
>> WHATEVER.
>> I DON'T BELONG HERE.
>> IS SOMEONE GONNA HELP ME?
COME ON!
>> PARTY!
>> DON'T PARTY TOO MUCH.
YOU WANT TO STAY SHARP IN CASE
THE CHEESEMAN COMES FOR YA.
>> COME ON.
THAT'S JUST AN URBAN LEGEND.
>> Tommy: WHAT'S A CHEESEMAN?
>> 20 YEARS AGO, A GROUP OF KIDS
CAMPED HERE.
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> ONE OF THEM REALLY HATED
CHEESE.
>> HEY, THIS HAS CHEESE ON IT!
I HATE CHEESE!
>> WHY DO YOU HATE CHEESE SO
MUCH, CHEESEMAN?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT'S NOT MY NAME!
>> CHEESEMAN!
>> Group: CHEESEMAN! CHEESEMAN!
>> THEY THREW SLICES OF AMERICAN
CHEESE AT HIM...
>> LET'S THROW AMERICAN CHEESE
AT HIM.
>> ...KNOCKING HIM INTO THE
FIRE.
>> NO!
>> THE CHEESE MELTED INTO HIS
SKIN.
HE RAN INTO THE LAKE, NEVER TO
BE SEEN AGAIN.
>> I HATE CHEESE!
>> SOME SAY HE STILL LURKS IN
THESE WOODS, TAKING REVENGE ON
CAMPERS.
SO IF YOU SEE A MAN WITH CHEESE
FOR SKIN, IT COULD BE...
THE CHEESEMAN!
>> Tommy: AAAAAAAAAH!
>> YOU GUYS ARE JERKS.
>> Beverly: IT'S JUST A STORY
KIDS USE TO SCARE EACH OTHER.
>> Mr. Pickles: [ GROWLS ]
>> MAN, WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
EVERYBODY KNOWS IN THESE
SITUATIONS, THE BLACK GUY ALWAYS
DIES FIRST!
I'M GONNA GO INTO THOSE CREEPY
WOODS AND THINK ABOUT WAYS TO
STAY SAFE.
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> Stanley: OKAY, LET'S FIND
SOME FIREWOOD.
OH! SOME BERRIES!
ONE OF THE THINGS ON MY LIST IS
"FIND PLANTS YOU CAN EAT."
>> THOSE BERRIES ARE POISON.
AND I KNOW SOMETHING ELSE YOU
DON'T KNOW!
[ CACKLES ]
>> Grandpa: HUH?
>> Beverly: WHERE'D HE GO?
>> Stanley: COME ON, GOODMANS.
LET'S --
>> YOU DON'T KNOW THE TERRIBLE
THING I KNOW!
ONLY I KNOW!
[ CACKLES ]
>> Grandpa: YOU KNOW SOMETHING
ABOUT MR. PICKLES?
AAH!
>> ONLY I KNOW THE REAL TRUTH!
[ CACKLES ]
>> Tommy: COME ON, GRANDPA!
>> Grandpa: UH, I'LL CATCH UP.
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> WHO KEEPS SAYING
"CHEESEMAN"?
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> OH, NO! IT'S THE CHEESEMAN!
[ RUSTLING ]
>> Tommy: HI, MISTER!
>> DAMN!
>> Tommy: HAVE YOU SEEN ANY
ANIMALS RUNNING AROUND?
>> YOU CAN'T BE RUNNING AROUND
HERE LOOKING LIKE CHEESE!
>> Tommy: YOU'RE FUNNY.
[ GIGGLES ]
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> WHO WHISPERING?
AAH!
>> Tommy: LOOK! A FROG!
>> DAMN! YOU SCARED THE SHI--
AAH! AAH!
>> Tommy: COME HERE, FROGGY!
>> WATCH IT, YOU DICKHOLE!
>> Stanley: THIS WAY, TOMMY!
>> Tommy: BYE!
>> AAH!
>> TAKE ME TO THE CRAPPER! NOW!
>> OKAY.
IT'S OVER THAT WAY, PAST THE
TREE WITH THAT PENTAGRAM CARVED
INTO IT.
>> I'LL BE DONE IN A MINUTE.
THEN YOU CAN HELP ME WIPE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
WELL, I'LL BE IN THAT CREEPY
BARN OVER THERE.
HOLLER WHEN YOU NEED ME.
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> HMM.
LOOK AT ALL THESE WEAPONS.
SEEMS LIKE A SAFE PLACE TO TAKE
A NAP.
[ SNORES ]
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
>> [ HUMMING ]
AAAAAAH!
[ CHAINSAW ROARS ]
>> Tommy: DAD, IS THIS FIREWOOD?
>> Stanley: LOOKS LIKE IT WAS
HIT BY LIGHTNING.
REMEMBER, NEVER STAND NEXT TO A
TREE DURING A LIGHTNING STORM.
THE TREE COULD FALL ON YOU.
>> Tommy: YOU SURE KNOW A LOT
ABOUT THE OUTDOORS!
>> Stanley: Shh. Quiet.
Look over here.
>> Beverly: Careful, honey.
She's feeding.
>> Stanley: AH, THE CIRCLE OF
LIFE.
OW! OH! OH! OH!
>> Beverly: [ SIGHS ]
[ RUMBLING ]
[ CITIZENS SCREAMING ]
>> SIR, SPACE NAZIS ARE TRYING
TO BLOW UP MARS!
>> SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR
ASTRONAUT DOLPHIN DETECTIVE.
>> BUT, SIR, HE WAS ARRESTED FOR
FLASHING THOSE SPACE KIDS.
>> GET HIM OUT.
>> [ SQUEALS ]
>> MAN, THIS SHOW BLOWS MY MIND!
>> GREAT.
WANNA HAVE SEX?
>> YEAH, BRO.
[ BOTH MOANING ]
>> UGH.
>> Stanley: HEY, LOOK,
EVERYBODY -- SOME FRUIT.
>> Beverly: THAT'S NOT FRUIT.
IT'S A SPIDER-EGG SAC!
>> Stanley: THEY'RE CRAWLING
INTO MY EYES!
OH! POSSUMS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>> Beverly: [ SIGHS ]
>> Tommy: COME HERE, KITTY!
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> Tommy: HERE, KITTY, KITTY,
KITTY, KITTY!
>> CHEESEMAN!
>> Tommy: WHOA!
>> AH! HA HA!
HE THOUGHT I WAS THE CHEESEMAN!
>> WHAT A CHUMP! YAY!
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
>> [ SNORTS ]
HUH?
OH!
>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ]
>> Tommy: THERE YOU ARE, BOY.
COME ON!
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> Stanley: OH! OW!
>> Beverly: NOW, THIS LAVENDER
WILL HELP WITH ALL YOUR BITES.
IT WILL REDUCE SWELLING.
>> Stanley: HONEY, REALLY, I'M
FINE.
LET'S HEAD BACK TO CAMP.
OH, UH...
ACTUALLY, LET'S GO ANOTHER WAY.
[ SCATTING ]
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> [ SMOOCHING ]
[ DUCKS QUACKING ]
EW!
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU STUPID
DUCKS!
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> [ SMOOCHES ]
>> CHEESEMAN!
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> GOTCHA! [ LAUGHS ]
>> YOU SCARED ME, BRETT!
[ GIGGLES ]
>> LET'S MAKE SEX.
[ BOTH MOANING ]
>> Grandpa: THERE YOU ARE!
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR --
>> [ GRUNTING, CACKLING ]
>> Grandpa: OHH.
[ BOTH MOANING ]
>> HUH?! OH! AAAAAAAAAH! THE CHEESEMAN IS REAL!
>> Grandpa: [ GASPS ]
DID YOU SEE THAT?!
>> YES.
>> Grandpa: WE HAVE TO GO TELL
THE SHERIFF!
>> OH! HA! HA! HA! HA! OH!
>> Grandpa: HUH?
>> OKAY, I'LL TELL HIM.
[ GRUNTS ]
>> Stanley: HUH.
THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM
THE MAP.
>> Beverly: NO, LOOK.
WE'RE RIGHT HERE.
>> Stanley: OH.
YOU, UH...YOU PASSED THE TEST.
HEH.
HEY, TOMMY, CHECK OFF "READ A
MAP CORRECTLY."
>> Tommy: BUT THERE ISN'T A --
>> Stanley: NOW, IF YOU'LL JUST
FOLLOW ME --
OW! GOSH!
OH, GOSH!
>> Beverly: [ SIGHS ]
>> ASTRONAUT DOLPHIN DETECTIVE
HAS DEFEATED THE SPACE NAZIS,
BUT NOW A STRIPPER IS GIVING
BIRTH TO HIS BABY.
>> [ SQUEAKS ]
>> OH, MY GOD!
HE JUST ATE THE BABY!
>> HE MAY BE A BAD FATHER, BUT
HE'S THE BEST DETECTIVE WE'VE
GOT.
[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> ALL ANYONE EVER CARES ABOUT
IS SEX.
>> [ MOANS ]
TALK DIRTY TO ME.
>> TOILET BOWLS HAVE 3.2 MILLION
BACTERIA PER SQUARE INCH.
>> HUH?
>> EUGGGGGGGGH!
>> BREAKING NEWS -- A SEVERE THUNDERSTORM IS HEADING OUR WAY.
AND LAST NIGHT, I HAD SEX WITH
THIS GIRL.
>> YOU ARE A SLUT.
>> THE CHEESEMAN KILLED VERONICA!
>> AND...I'M DONE.
OFF TO THE SHOWERS.
>> NO! THE CHEESEMAN --
>> [ MOANING ]
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
>> Beverly: HERE, HONEY.
THIS SHOULD TAKE PRESSURE OFF
YOUR LEG.
>> Stanley: NO, THANKS, HONEY.
COME ON, TOMMY.
HOW 'BOUT I SHOW YOU HOW TO
CROSS A RIVERRRRRRRRR?!
SEE YOU BACK AT CAMP!
>> Beverly: [ SIGHS ]
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
>> Tommy: A STORM'S COMING!
>> Beverly: GET UNDER THE TREE!
>> Tommy: BUT DAD SAID IT WAS
DANGEROUS DURING A LIGHTNING --
>> Beverly: YOUR DAD ISN'T
RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING!
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
OH!
>> Tommy: SEE! DAD WAS RIGHT!
>> Beverly: [ SIGHS ]
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
>> Grandpa: SHERIFF!
THERE'S BEEN A MURDER AT THE
CAMPGROUND, AND THIS TIME, I
HAVE A WITNESS!
TELL HIM WHAT YOU SAW AT THE
LAKE.
>> I SAW A NAKED GIRL.
>> Grandpa: WHAT?!
TELL HIM THE OTHER THING!
>> I CAN'T TELL ANYBODY.
>> GO ON.
NOBODY KEEPS A SECRET FROM A
SHERIFF.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, ABIGAIL?
THAT'S RIGHT, SHERIFF.
>> Grandpa: TELL HIM!
>> OKAY.
THE TRUTH IS...
I'M A VIRGIN.
>> Grandpa: WHAT?!
>> NOW YOU KNOW THE TRUTH!
[ CACKLES ]
>> Grandpa: THERE'S BEEN A
MURDER!
IT WAS MR. PI--
[ Dial tone ]
HUH?
OH! OHHHHHHHH!
>> [ CACKLING ]
>> Tommy: [ GRUNTING ]
I CAN'T LIFT IT!
I'LL TAKE DAD'S RIVER SHORTCUT
TO GET HELP BACK AT CAMP.
>> Beverly: IT'S NOT A SHORTCUT!
>> Tommy: NOW, HOW DO YOU SWIM?!
>> Beverly: [ SIGHS ]
HUH?!
>> [ Echoing ] Cheeseman...
OH, AND HI.
>> Beverly: CHEESEMAN!
>> Tommy: MOM! HELP!
>> I'LL GET YOU OUT!
>> Beverly: NO!
[ GRUNTS ]
LET GO OF MY SON, YOU MURDERER!
>> I WAS TRYING TO SAVE HIM!
DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU
HE-E-E-E-E-E-E-AR!
>> Beverly: JUST GIVE ME YOUR
HAND!
>> Tommy: OKAY.
WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
>> Beverly: [ SIGHS ]
[ OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES ]
>> [ Echoing ] Mr. Pickles.
>> HMM.
THIS LOOKS LIKE THE PERFECT
SITUATION FOR OBSERVATION.
>> HEY!
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
>> COME ON.
I'M JUST LOOKING FOR A LITTLE
PEACE -- OF ASS.
[ CHUCKLES ]
OH! WHAT THE --
OH, NO! BACK HAIR!
>> CAN'T BACK OUT NOW.
YOU'RE DOIN' THIS.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN?!
STOP IT!
AAH!
OH, MY GO-- AAH!
>> THE CHEESEMAN IS REA--
UGH!
>> [ Echoing ] Mr. Pickles.
>> AAH! HE'S HERE!
AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
OH!
>> THE SECRET'S OUT!
[ CACKLES ]
>> HUH?!
>> WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
>> THE CHEESEMAN WAS JUST HERE!
>> WE SHOULD SPLIT UP, THEN!
>> NO!
HEY!
WAIT -- YOU CAN WALK?
>> YEAH. I'M JUST REALLY LAZY.
AAH!
>> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ]
>> AAH! MY HEAD HURTS!
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
NO! N-O-O-O-O-O-O!
UGH!
OWWWWWWWW!
[ THUNDER CRASHES ] >> [ Echoing ] Mr. Pickles. >> [ MOANING ]
>> [ CACKLING ]
>> HUH?!
IT'S THE CHEESEMAN!
>> Stanley: [ GROANING ]
>> DI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-E!
>> Stanley: HEY!
NO! NO, NO, NO!
>> STOP RIGHT THERE, CHEESEMAN!
>> WHA-- I'M NOT THE CHEESEMAN!
OHHHH.
>> Grandpa: IT WAS MR. PICKLES!
I HAVE A WITNESS!
>> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKING ]
[ ALL GASP ]
>> GOOD BOY, MR. PICKLES.
>> Grandpa: OH, COME ON!
>> Beverly: [ GRUNTS ] >> Tommy: HEY, DAD! LOOK WHAT I CAUGHT!
>> Stanley: WELL, THAT'S -- OOH.
>> Tommy: THIS IS THE CHEESEMAN.
>> HEY. HOW'S IT GOING?
>> Tommy: CAN I KEEP HIM?
>> Stanley: I'LL KILL YOU!
>> OHHHHH!
>> Stanley: GOT IT!
LITTLE MOSQUITO ON YOUR
SHOULDER, DEAR.
>> Beverly: WHAT WOULD I DO
WITHOUT YOU, HONEY?
>> SORRY, FOLKS.
CAMPGROUND'S CLOSED.
[ CRICKETS CHIRPING ]
>> WELL, WELL.
THE BLACK GUY DOESN'T DIE.
WAIT! THESE ARE POISONOUS!
YOU CAN'T GET ME LIKE THAT.
AAH!
>> [ MUNCHES, GROANS ]
>> [ GASPS ]
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
>> AAH!
HA HA!
I'M-A LIVE FOREVER!
>> LET'S THROW AMERICAN CHEESE
AT HIM!
>> OH, NO!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
THIS IS SOME BULLSH--
[ FOLKSY MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> Stanley: ONLY ONE MORE THING
ON OUR LIST -- "SEE A SHOOTING
STAR."
>> YOU KNOW, I JUST WANT TO
THANK YOU PEOPLE FOR ACCEPTING
ME FOR WHO I AM.
IT GETS SO LONELY IN THE WOODS.
WHAT A NIGHTMARE, YOU KNOW?
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> Beverly: DINNER'S READY.
>> HEY, YOU DUMB BITCH!
I HATE CHEESE!
>> Beverly: OH, MY!
>> Stanley: UH...WELL, UH...
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I HAD A NICE TIME TODAY.
HOW 'BOUT YOU, TOMMY?
>> Tommy: I CAUGHT A CHEESEMAN
AND A FISH.
HEY? WHERE IS MY FISH?
WHERE'S THE CHEESEMAN?
[ OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> [ MOANING ]
OH! OH, YEAH!
OH, YOU NAUGHTY, LITTLE FISH!
HUH?
>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ]
>> Mr...
>> ♪ ...PICKLES ♪ ♪ GOOD BOY ♪ ♪ NICE DOG ♪
♪ PEOPLE'S BEST FRIEND ♪
DIE!
♪ PICKLES ♪