>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ] [ SIREN WAILING ] [ TIRES SCREECH ]
>> MY CHEST HURTS.
>> NUH, NUH, NUH, NUH, NUH.
YEAH, SHUT UP, BITCH.
>> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKS ]
>> MOVE IT, FLEABAG.
>> HI!
>> SHUT UP, LOSER.
>> I'M NOT A LOSER --
[ VOMITS ]
[ VACUUM WHIRRING ] >> Tommy: MR. PICKLES! >> ♪ MR. PICKLES ♪
♪ GOOD BOY ♪
♪ NICE DOG ♪
♪ PEOPLE'S BEST FRIEND ♪
DIE!
♪ PICKLES ♪
>> Tommy: MR. PICKLES!
>> ♪ HERE HE COMES FOR YOU ♪
>> Tommy: THERE YOU ARE!
>> ♪ MR. PICKLES ♪
>> Tommy: GOOD BOY! ♪ DA, DA, DOO, DOO, DOO ♪ ♪ DA, DA, DA, DA ♪
>> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKS ]
>> Tommy: GOOD IDEA, BOY.
THIS IS GONNA BE
THE BEST SOAP BOX DERBY EVER.
>> Grandpa: OH.
>> Beverly: DAD?
I'M NOT BRINGING YOU FOOD
ANYMORE.
>> Grandpa: I CAN'T LEAVE
MY ROOM.
LAST TIME I TOOK A SHOWER,
MR. PICKLES REPLACED MY SOAP
WITH A HUMAN FACE. AAH! AAH!
I USED MY GARDENING GLOVES,
AND THEY WERE FILLED WITH
A HUMAN FACE!
I OPENED UP MY BOOK,
AND OUT FELL A HUMAN FACE!
MR. PICKLES IS EVIL.
WHY WON'T ANYBODY BELIEVE ME!
>> Beverly: OHH.
>> Stanley: OOH, SORRY, HONEY.
I'M LATE!
>> Beverly: AREN'T YOU GONNA
HAVE BREAKFAST?
>> Stanley: SOME OF US
HAVE JOBS TO GET TO.
>> Beverly: TAKING CARE
OF THIS HOUSE IS A JOB, TOO.
>> Stanley: GOOD ONE, HONEY.
BYE! OFF TO WORK!
>> Beverly: OH!
>> Stanley: NOT ONLY
DOES MiraVac 2000
COME WITH A WARRANTY,
BUT IT'S CORDLESS!
>> Tommy: WE'RE OFF TO CHECK OUT
THE RACECOURSE, MOM!
>> Beverly: TOMMY, THE MESS!
>> Stanley: LET ME GET THAT.
WE DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO THINK
MOM'S NOT DOING HER JOB.
>> Beverly: HUH. MAYBE WE DO.
>> Stanley: OKAY.
[ VACUUM WHIRRING ]
>> Mr. Pickles: [ WHIMPERING ]
>> Stanley: OH, A LOT OF DOGS
ARE SCARED BY VACUUMS.
>> Beverly: AH! [ LAUGHS ]
>> Stanley: WATCH!
>> Mr. Pickles: [ WHIMPERING ]
>> Stanley: [ LAUGHING ]
>> Grandpa: I'LL TAKE IT!
>> ♪ SHERIFF IS... ♪
♪ SETTING UP THE CONES ♪
♪ PUTTING 'EM ON THE TRACK ♪
♪ WHOEVER WINS ♪
♪ I'LL PAT 'EM ON THE HEAD ♪
SHELLO, TOMMY!
>> Tommy: OH, HI, SHERIFF!
>> ♪ YOU'RE WELCOME TO ♪
♪ DO SOME TEST RUNS ♪
♪ WITH THE OTHER BOYS ♪
SHWEE!
>> [ LAUGHING ]
>> YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT AROUND
DEAD MAN'S CURVE.
>> Tommy: DEAD MAN'S CURVE?
>> THEY CALL IT THAT 'CAUSE
IT'S A CURVE. [ LAUGHS ]
>> AND IF YOU GO OFF,
YOU'LL BE DEAD, MAN.
>> Tommy: I'M NOT WORRIED!
MY CAR'S TIP-TOP!
WHEE!
UH-OH!
OH, NO!
>> ♪ BUT BE CAREFUL ♪
♪ ABOUT DEAD MAN'S CURVE ♪
>> Tommy: WHOA! OH!
OH! OH!
WHOA, OH! OOH!
WHEW, GLAD I WORE A HELMET.
[ CLANK ]
>> Mr. Pickles: [ GROANS ]
>> [ LAUGHING ]
DO ANOTHER ONE.
>> Stanley: OH, ALL RIGHT.
[ Nasal voice ] "GOODMAN,
IF YOU DON'T MAKE A SALE,
YOU'RE FIRED!" [ LAUGHS ]
>> GOODMAN!
>> Stanley: OH, BOSS!
>> THAT WAS PERFECT.
>> Stanley: HUH?
>> I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO DO.
SO I WANT YOU TO SIT IN
MY OFFICE TODAY.
AND IF ANYONE CALLS,
JUST PRETEND YOU'RE ME.
AND DON'T SCREW IT UP OR...
>> Stanley: [ Imitates Boss ]
I'M FIRED?
>> [ LAUGHING ]
[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
>> HEY, MRS. GOODMAN!
WHAT YOU DOING?
>> Beverly: SHOWING STANLEY
WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE
IF I DIDN'T HAVE A JOB.
FOOD FIGHT!
>> OOH!
[ LAUGHS ]
>> Grandpa: YOU GIRLS ARE CRAZY.
>> Beverly: JELL-O FIGHT!
>> Grandpa: I'M TAKING
THE VACUUM TO THE MOVIES!
BYE!
>> Beverly: EGG FIGHT!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
CHAIR FIGHT!
[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
>> Tommy: [ GASPS ]
LOOK!
>> [ INHALES SHARPLY ]
>> Tommy: AAH!
>> AAH!
>> Tommy: WHO ARE YOU?
>> THEY CALL ME "THE KID"
'CAUSE BACK THEN, I WAS
THE COOLEST KID IN OLD TOWN.
THERE WAS ONE DAME WHO HAD
MY HEART -- SALLY WILTON.
OH, SHE HAD ME ALL DOLL DIZZY.
BUT SOMEONE ELSE HAD HIS EYES
ON HER --
DONNY "SKIDS" McGEELTON.
>> NO!
>> WE DECIDED WE'D RACE
FOR HER HEART.
BUT THEY ALWAYS SAID
I'D COMBED TOO HARD.
AND THAT NIGHT,
THEY WERE RIGHT.
>> NO!
>> THE KID!
>> AND SINCE THEN,
I I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET OUT
OF THIS SEAT BELT. [ GRUNTS ]
OH, THE THOUGHT OF SALLY
IS WHAT'S KEPT ME ALIVE.
WELL, THAT AND RATS.
SO HOW'D YOU GET DOWN HERE?
>> Tommy: I WRECKED MY CAR
BEFORE THE SOAP BOX DERBY RACE.
>> HELP ME GET MY SALLY BACK,
AND I'LL HELP YOU BUILD
A NEW CAR.
Tommy: BUT HOW WILL YOU
GET FREE?
>> Mr. Pickles: [ DEMONIC
GROWLING ]
>> WHAT THE -- I'M FREE!
>> I'M LOOKIN' FOR THE GUY
WHO'S BEEN STEALIN' MY Wi-Fi.
>> YOU LOOKIN' FOR ME?
[ SCREAMS ]
>> PIPE DOWN!
>> YOU SUCK!
>> Grandpa: I KNOW!
IT REALLY SUCKS!
[ LAUGHS ] GET IT?
[ AUDIENCE BOOING ]
>> Grandpa: [ LAUGHING ]
[ VACUUM WHIRRING ]
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
>> Stanley: [ Imitating Boss ]
HELLO? THIS IS BOSS.
>> I'M CALLING WITH YOUR
DAILY REPORT ON MR. GOODMAN.
HE'S NOT AT HIS DESK.
CAN I HAVE A JELLY BEAN NOW?
>> Stanley: YES, BUT NO MORE
REPORTS ON GOODMAN, OKAY?
>> OKAY.
OKAY. [ LAUGHS ]
OKAY.
AH.
>> TABLE FIGHT!
WALL FIGHT!
OOH, OW.
THESE THINGS FIGHT!
[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
[ ENGINES WHIRRING ]
>> THINGS SURE HAVE CHANGED.
OH, NO!
COVER UP YOUR KNEES, YOU WHORE!
THERE'S CHILDREN OUT HERE.
BUT SALLY'S HOUSE LOOKS
JUST THE SAME.
>> GET OFF OF THE SIDEWALK!
AAH!
WOW. [ VOMITS ]
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
AAH!
[ RINGS DOORBELL ]
>> COME IN!
>> SALLY!
>> ♪ DON'T TELL... ♪
>> WHAT!
YOU'RE NOT THE PIZZA MAN.
>> THE THOUGHT OF YOU
IS ALL THAT'S KEPT ME ALIVE
FOR 70 YEARS.
>> Tommy: HE HAD TO EAT RATS
AND DRINK THEIR PEE!
>> LET ME DO THIS ONE, KID.
I SWORE THAT IF I SURVIVED,
I'D COME BACK AND ASK YOU
TO MA...WHAT?
>> HEY!
WHERE'S THE FREAKIN' PIZZA, YO?
>> HEY, PLAYA.
>> SKIDS?
>> THE KID?!
WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.
>> THE KID?!
YOU LOOKIN' GROSS!
>> YOU TWO ARE MARRIED?
>> NAH, WE JUST
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, KID.
>> SPANK IT, DADDY.
>> Tommy: EW.
>> WHA?!
>> WORK IT, TWERK IT, DROP IT,
LOCK IT.
>> YOU KNOW I LOVE IT WHEN YOU
WOBBLE-DO-WOBBLE THAT BOOTY
ON ME, YOU LITTLE CLUCK-CLUCK.
>> WHAT IS YOUR MOUTH DOING?
>> I'M TIC-TAC-TOEIN' THAT HO,
KNOW WHAT I MEAN? [ LAUGHS ]
'SUP?
>> WHAT DOES "'SUP" MEAN?
>> IT MEANS "WHAT'S POPPIN'?"
LIKE, "HOW YOU DOIN'?"
>> WELL, NOT GOOD.
>> I WASN'T REALLY ASKING,
PLAYBOY.
>> THEN WHY DID YOU ASK ME?
>> I THINK YOU DONE SLID DOWN
A MOUNTAIN FULL OF RAZOR BLADES,
CLIMBED A BUILDING BUTT NAKED,
AND TONGUE KISSED A LIZARD
'CAUSE YOU WACK, SON!
>> YEAH, YOU WACK.
>> [ A capella ] ♪ EVERYTHING ♪
♪ IS OVER ♪
>> OH, I'M NOT COOL ANYMORE.
>> ♪ AND I'M FEELING BAD ♪
>> I'M ALL WASHED UP.
>> Tommy: WAIT! THAT'S IT!
IF WE GET YOU ALL WASHED UP,
WE COULD GO BACK AND TRY AGAIN.
>> ♪ ...EVER HAD ♪
>> Mr. Pickles: [ SPITS ]
>> Grandpa: AH-AH.
[ VACUUM WHIRRING ]
>> Grandpa: [ LAUGHING ]
>> ♪ A WILD SORT OF DEVIL ♪
♪ BUT DEAD ON THE LEVEL ♪
♪ WAS MY GAL SAL ♪
>> SINK FIGHT! [ LAUGHS ]
>> Beverly: [ INHALES SHARPLY ]
OH! LINDA!
>> OH.
>> Beverly: I JUST WANTED
STANLEY TO SEE
WHAT IT'S LIKE
IF I DON'T DO MY JOB.
BUT I CAN'T FIX THIS MYSELF.
>> OH! I KNOW HOW TO FIX IT.
>> [ LAUGHS ] HEY, BABY!
>> Beverly: UH...
>> HEY, BABIES. WHOA, YEAH!
>> OH, GOD, NO.
>> OOH, OOH, OOH.
>> PLEASE STOP.
>> [ SQUAWKING ]
>> Tommy: NOW LET'S GET YOUR SALLY BACK SO WE CAN BUILD MY SOAPBOX CAR.
>> LET'S GO, DADDY-O!
[ SCATTING ]
WATCH OUT!
>> Tommy: [ LAUGHS ]
OH.
[ CAR ALARM BLARING ]
>> AAH, WHEE!
>> Tommy: [ LAUGHS ]
>> I'M BACK!
THE KID IS BACK! OH!
>> [ MAKING ANIMAL SOUNDS ]
>> AAH!
>> Tommy: WHOA! [ LAUGHS ]
ARE WE TAKING A NAP NOW?
>> Beverly: TOMMY?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> Tommy: WHAT'S LINDA DOING?
>> Beverly: UH, I DON'T KNOW.
>> PLEASE, STOP.
WE'LL DO ANYTHING.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
>> Stanley: THIS IS THE BOSS.
>> Woman: [ High-pitched ] JUST
CHECKING IN ON YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
>> Stanley: I LOVE YOU, TOO.
>> Woman: YOU NEVER SAY
"I LOVE YOU."
[ Deep voice ] WHO IS THIS?
>> Stanley: I...
>> YOU BETTER FIND HIM
BEFORE I DO!
[ RECEIVER CLICKS, DIAL TONE ]
>> Stanley: HUH? UH, FLOYD?
UH, TELL ME WHERE I'D BE
IF I WASN'T IN MY OFFICE.
[ HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING ]
>> OH! >> Stanley: BOSS! >> GOODMAN!
>> Stanley: YOU GOTTA --
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
YOU GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.
>> I'M FREE FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MONTHS! [ LAUGHS ]
>> I SAID NO GAMES!
>> NO, NO!
>> AND WHO'S THIS?!
>> Stanley: HI.
>> I SAID STOP PLAYING
THAT GAME!
>> NO! I WANNA PLAY THE GAME!
>> AAH!
>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ] >> Grandpa: YOU LOOKING FOR ME?
>> Tommy: BUT HE WAS GONNA HELP ME BUILD A NEW SOAPBOX CAR.
>> Beverly: HE'S JUST GOING
TO REST FOR A WHILE.
>> YEAH, 'CAUSE HE'S DEAD.
>> HELP ME!
>> HUH?
>> TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL.
>> GET OUT OF THERE!
>> Stanley: BEVERLY?
>> Beverly: STANLEY?
>> AAH!
>> Tommy: WHOA!
>> Beverly and Stanley: TOMMY!
[ VACUUM WHIRRING ] >> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKS ] >> Grandpa: AAH!
>> Mr. Pickles: [ WHIMPERS ]
>> Grandpa: [ LAUGHING ]
>> Tommy: HELP!
I'M GOING TOO FAST!
>> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKING ]
>> Grandpa: GOTCHA!
HUH?
>> Mr. Pickles: [ GROANS ]
[ BARKS ]
>> Grandpa: HEY!
>> SHAND THEY'RE OFF!
HUH?
WHOA!
>> Tommy: WHOA, WHOA!
>> [ LAUGHS ] HUH?
>> Tommy: HI! BYE!
UH-OH.
I'LL NEVER MAKE IT!
>> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKS ]
>> Tommy: MR. PICKLES?
WHOA!
OH, WHOA!
>> YAY!
[ CHEERING ]
>> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKS ]
>> LOOKS LIKE
THIS BELONGS TO YOU.
>> AND THIS BELONGS TO ME!
I...
[ High-pitched ] LOVE YOU.
>> THANKS.
>> Stanley: TOMMY!
>> Beverly: ARE YOU OKAY?
>> Tommy: I'M EVEN BETTER
THAN OKAY!
I'M GOOD...
BOY, MR. PICKLES.
>> [ GRUNTS ]
I'M BACK!
AAH! [ SCREAMS ]
>> PLEASE, STOP.
WE DID WHAT YOU ASKED!
>> HEY! GET BACK HERE!
>> LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
>> Beverly: OHH.
>> Stanley: OH, LOOKS LIKE
YOU MISSED A SPOT. [ CHUCKLES ]
>> Beverly: OH, THAT'S IT!
>> Stanley: UH-OH.
>> Grandpa: MR. PICKLES STOLE
MY VACUUM.
>> ♪ TELL ME WE'RE THROUGH ♪
>> WHERE'S MY FACE?
[ VOMITS ]
>> [ Whispers ] ♪ MISTER...♪
♪ PICKLES ♪
♪ GOOD BOY ♪
♪ NICE DOG ♪
♪ PEOPLE'S BEST FRIEND ♪
DIE!
♪ PICKLES ♪
>> [ Whispers ] HI, WILL.