So, here's one for the ladies.
Happy Valentine's!
Having a partner during Valentine's Day is the best.
I'm definitely an old romantic when it comes to Valentine.
I feel so lucky to have found Fruitcake
and to finally marry her after all these years.
And this is exactly what I want
for our daters in the First Dates restaurant.
Merlin has prepared an incredible Valentine's Day cocktail.
Well, we have a fuzzy feeling. Ooh!
To give you that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Hence the butterflies.
Yeah, hence the butterflies.
My advice on Valentine's Day?
Go for it. Flowers. Chocolate. Kisses. Do it all.
Am I romantic at all?
Probably.
How do you know I'm flirting?
Cheeky comments, cheeky smile.
Let's start this service. All right, let's go.
Come on, let's go. I'm so excited!
Online dating is like a sweet shop.
Everybody always thinks there's a nicer sweet.
Looking to unwrap her love life is 55-year-old Andrea.
So I have, literally, tried...
I'm not saying every sweet in the sweet shop,
but I'm close to that.
Everybody wants a life partner, a best friend,
somebody to go on adventures with.
So I would like a partner to travel with.
I think now's the time.
I mean, if I can't do it, you've got
to be able to pull something out of the bag.
Welcome. Thank you. Happy Valentine. ANDREA LAUGHS
You are bursting with colours.
Shall I take your coat? Yeah, please.
So I've still got that glimmer there is someone out there.
But I have been looking for a needle in a haystack
and I think I'm a bit done with it.
What are you looking for? A male version of me.
I want somebody who's got a zest for life.
The life and soul of the party, but then, he's got a kind heart.
Empathetic. Right.
So what would attract me first?
I'd say the banter more than anything.
I like a cheeky sense of humour. I like quirky.
I'd like someone who likes music. I miss sort of the Girls Aloud era.
This one is for a cover from the Out Of Control album,
as any Alouder will tell you.
Biology.
What Will The Neighbours Say?
And finally, I'm just a Love Machine.
# I don't need no good advice... #
For Valentine's Day,
Patrick is hoping for Something Kinda Ooooh.
INTERVIEWER:So what song does sum up your love life?
Trying to think if there's a song called Nonexistent.
HE LAUGHS
How are you, Patrick? Not bad. Pleased to meet you. Thank you.
Nice to meet you too. So where do you come from, Patrick?
I've come from Leeds. No women in Leeds? There are,
just not the right one for me apparently. Not the one for you.
So my friends and family,
they'd probably describe me as a bit of an idiot
because I just live life to the full
and I'm always up for a laugh. I need somebody who can put up
with my nonsense, because I never stop.
And I'd like somebody who likes travel the way I do.
If they did not laugh and they were deadly serious,
I don't think we'd get on.
Hi.
Hello. Pleased to meet you. I'm Patrick. I'm Andrea. Andrea.
Pleased to meet you. I think we've got matching glasses.
Have we? All right. These are new, actually,
and I got them, exactly the same pair that I had before.
What would you like? Could I have a pint of Guinness, please?
A pint of Guinness, a whole pint, coming up. This is just a starter.
Are you nervous? If I said I wasn't, I'd be lying.
Are you? Yourself? No, I'm excited. Excited?
I'm like a kid, me. I've been buzzing, like, can't wait.
Well, I've been, I've been...I've been I've been pacing the room.
No! I've been all right.
So where have you come down from?
West Yorkshire. As have I. I've come from Leeds. Interesting.
But I do like to travel, so... I love to travel.
That's my thing, yeah.
Oh, we'll be talking about that, then, travel. Yeah.
Are you quite a Valentine's-y person? I never used to be.
Let the happiness out! I know. I know. My God!
I know we're celebrating love. It's just... I just feel so happy.
All right, you party animals? Yeah. Right. Let's go.
Are you ready? Yes, we are. Come on, let's go.
I need to give you a hug. Just because...
Oh, my God. Just happy Valentine's Day. I know!
My best Valentine's Day was when I was about 21.
He had bought me roses and took me out for dinner.
Yeah, it was lovely. It was really sweet.
Well, I am going to be 50 this year, so I'm ready for the next one.
Looking to fully book his love life,
is hairdresser Daniel.
For years, I've been telling all my, you know,
like, my single clients and friends, like,
"Get on the apps, go and do it."
And I've been on the apps and, no. No, I can't.
It's awful!
INTERVIEWER:What don't you like about the apps?
The people that are liking you.
I'm, like, "Oh, no, that's not what I was thinking.
"I was thinking more like George Clooney, Brad Pitt vibes.
"Not Norman, soon to be retired."
God. I am here to find the love of my life,
and I think I need some help.
Oh! It's hard out there. It's very hard.
It's a bit desert-y.
How are you? Tres bien, merci. Nice to see you. Nice to see you too.
You all right? Yeah, really good. Thank you.
I know that person. You know him? Not personally,
but that's the geezer from Gogglebox.
You think that's the guy from Gogglebox? That's him.
When you go on the apps,
no-one ever says anything about Gogglebox.
People recognise the poodles, I tell you what,
more than they recognise me, ever.
What's happening in your life? I need to find a date.
No-one's slipping into my DMs. Never?
And it's Valentine's, so if it doesn't happen today,
it's never going to happen.
I have been single for...
..about ten months?
In the summer, I did have a little bit of a dating frenzy.
I went on... I think, in one month, about 17 dates.
INTERVIEWER:Why didn't any of those 17 dates work out?
I don't know why they didn't work out. What's wrong with me?
There you go. Oh, lovely. Thank you. A pleasure.
What sort of person do you want to meet today?
Ooh, funny, kind. Kind. Always. That's very important.
I'm looking for someone fit, healthy, with hair.
Come on, bring out the gingers!
Hello.
I don't know what to say now. HE LAUGHS
Here to rescue Daniel's love life is 48-year-old paramedic Simon.
The elderly females like to get
a little bit handsy with us paramedics, bless them.
Yeah, they do tend to grab you.
When I was dating, many moons ago,
people used to put stuff in a newspaper ad.
HE LAUGHS
INTERVIEWER:What are your flirting skills like?
I don't know if I can flirt, I'm not even sure I can,
so I'm not sure. You'll have to find out.
Good afternoon, Simon. Hiya. Nice to meet you.
You too. What? You going to the gym?
Yeah, every now and again. That's good. It suits you.
I've come off all the dating apps
and I want to find someone authentically.
I like someone who looks after themselves.
Dark hair. Someone who likes to have a laugh.
There we are. Hi. Hiya. Hiya.
You all right? How's it going? Yeah. You all right?
Daniel. Daniel. Simon. Nice to meet you, Simon.
Have you been here long? About that long. Oh, OK.
Hello. How are you? I'm good, thank you.
Would you like a drink?
Pink gin and lemonade, please. Ooh! I love gin.
Yeah. Oh. So, have you come far?
I have come up from Brighton. I'm in New Haven.
Oh, are you? Yeah. Literally, like, 20 minutes.
Like, 15, 20 minutes. So not far at all.
Not quite what you asked for, but that'll hold you for now.
Because I'm having a few issues with the machinery, I'm afraid.
That's all right. No worries. Thank you. Thank you.
Do you like champagne? No.
THEY LAUGH
PHONE RINGING
Hey, baby. Hey. Happy Valentine's.
Yes, happy Valentine's day.
I wish you was here. Oh, me too. But listen,
what I was thinking is, why don't you come and see me
and maybe we can have dinner here in the restaurant.
That would be amazing.
All right, listen, have a nice day.
I will. Bye. Ciao, my love. Ciao.
Have you got any children? I have. I've got a son's who's 30.
My son's 30!
I was there. A dad at 25. I've loved being a dad.
I'm getting a bit emotional. Aww!
To me, that showed you're comfortable with me,
that you're already showing your emotion.
How old are you? I'm 55. I'm 55. When I walked in,
I didn't think you were 55, so I'll give you that.
Thank you. You look very good.
I mean, people at work,
because I change who I work with all the time,
they are shocked and I think...
I don't just think it's the way I look.
I think it's your outlook on life. I think live life to the full.
This is why we're matched then,
because my job makes me appreciate that.
So my job, I work
for a children's critical care Ambulance Service.
I'm a call handler. What you hear on those calls is, literally,
a child that is healthy one minute and not healthy the next minute.
The job I do now is actual life and death.
And it's like balancing ten plates at once sometimes.
One of the hardest parts of my job is
when we hear that that child hasn't made it.
There's cases that do affect you.
Like, there's one case that stays with me more than anything
and it was a little boy, who was 11, and he was obsessed with football,
and he just collapsed and died on that football pitch.
My son was obsessed with football
and I think to myself, "That could have been my son."
I couldn't do that job. I'd spend the whole day crying. See?
We deal with it. We talk to each other about it.
Yeah, I get, I get that.
What do I miss about being in a relationship?
I'd say coming home from a hard shift,
just sharing and talking over that experience with somebody.
So travel's a massive vice of mine.
That's what I've spent the majority of my money on in my whole life.
Kind of had this moment when I was 40, that I'm going to visit
every country in Europe before the day I die.
Wow. So, every day is your last day. Yep.
I asked for the male version of me.
Do you know what? I... I think they've delivered it.
You know what, though?
My music taste, people always go, "What?!" Like what?
My favourite band in the whole world is Girls Aloud.
Don't laugh.
There'll be no disrespecting of Girls Aloud.
Don't you be looking like that. Shall we just end this now?
Happy Valentine's Day to you. You get a rose! You get a rose!
Happy Valentine's Day to you.
Do your muscles. Oh, God.
Yeah, they're big, aren't they?
Happy Valentine's Day to you! Thank you so...
Oh, can I not? Can I have one? Thank you. Of course.
Drinks? Do you know what? I've always said,
if Guinness was a woman, I would marry it.
You know what? The thing is...
Hello, hello. Do we happen to know what we'd like to eat?
Oh, no. I just don't like garlic. You don't like garlic?
I like the taste of it. Yeah. I just don't like the smell of it.
That's a shame. Yeah.
I'll just have to go for the chicken burger. Gorgeous.
Can I have the sirloin steak, please?
No garlic? No, I'm joking.
Cheers. Cheers.
Lovely to meet you. Yeah, you too.
So, how old are you? 49 this year.
Oh, so you're the same... I'm 50 this year.
OK. We're like, old people.
We're used to meeting people in a pub, or... I miss that. Yeah!
Like, my friend put me on the Tinder app? Oh, yeah.
After I'd, you know, split up with my ex, and I felt really old.
How long were you together for? 22 years.
Wow! Yeah. Such a long time. Yeah, we were married as well.
Yeah. So I've got two children.
Have you? Yeah. Well, say children.
They're 26 and 25. So, I had them with my ex-girlfriend.
Wow! Yeah.
I... When I was 18,
my parents found out that I was gay. And I remember saying to my dad,
"I don't want to be put in a box." I didn't want to go
through this life and not have children.
I was 22 when my son was born.
And then, when he was three months old,
surprise, surprise, she got pregnant with my daughter.
I just didn't want to raise the children with arguments.
So... And, yeah, it took a lot of soul searching
and we eventually ended our relationship.
When you come out to her, what was she like?
Interestingly, we met in a gay pub.
So. A bit of Jerry Springer really.
I met my ex-husband in same pub. Oh, wow! Yeah.
They know each other as well, so there was no competition,
but it's not like I was going with another woman. No.
Yeah, we was always putting the children first.
They were one and two, so they've known no different.
So to them, they had two dads and a mum.
I've only had two really long relationships.
You know, you get to kind of our age and think, now single,
I wasn't expecting that.
And, you know, yeah, it's taken some time.
How long have you been single for?
About two years now.
Me and my ex-husband concentrated on raising a family.
And then you kind of sit back and go,
"Actually, where, where are we now? Where do we find us?"
And I think we just became different people.
I've been out of the dating scene for a long, long time,
so then, to come back into it,
I was like, "Oh, this is just, like, so different."
It's so different. You know?
I don't want to be on my own.
I want to find that person that I can say, that's home.
I love kids.
I've got three grandchildren as well.
So, yeah. You're a grandad! Just keep going, yeah!
Shall I call you Grandpa?
No.
So he is literally the male version of me,
as in, he's got a son the same age, he loves travelling,
he's from Leeds, but he likes Girls Aloud.
SHE CHUCKLES
Hello.
I thought I'd just pop my head in about the food.
Yeah. RE the burger that you've ordered,
within the marinade there is garlic.
I just thought I'd check with you.
Just a salad is absolutely fine. Salad?Yeah, salad's fine.
All right, honey, I'm so sorry about that.Not at all.
Thank you so much. No, that's fine. Thank you.
It's not your day. Oh, dear.
I've got a bit of a question for you, actually. Right.
I was going to ask, could I sing a song,
because it's Valentine's Day and all that,
and I think it's very special? Yeah, that's a good idea.
Play something romantic.OK. I'll have a think about it.
I'll leave it to you.
So I've just rang my friend because she said,
"Ring me when you're in the toilet."
So I said, "He's lovely. He is like the male version of me,
"but he likes Girls Aloud." What did she say?
Did she say... "Oh, so flamboyant, then?" she said.
Flamboyant!
A lot of people think I am gay.
I think because some of my taste in music.
I love Girls Aloud, and as a middle-aged straight man,
it's the most ridiculous thing ever.
However, when my marriage broke down,
it wasn't a happy marriage.
It was around the time Girls Aloud were formed.
So there are certain songs
that put me at certain parts of my life.
So I always remember being on holiday,
my first holiday with the kids on my own,
and No Good Advice was played. I always remember that.
They just put me in a place of happiness that I can't
rationally explain.
I'd like to think when somebody meets me
they're going to like me and judge me for who I am.
I always say, "I'm a good catch, I just haven't been caught."
Who do you think my celebrity crush was?
Erm, was it Ken Barlow from Coronation Street?
I don't know!
Who was your celebrity crush?
Kylie Minogue.
Straight away.
I've got a Kylie Minogue K on my arm there.
A Kylie Minogue tattoo.
Why are you like that?
So, Aoife, Valentine's Day last year, you were single.
But now you're in a relationship. Boo-boo-boo!
Tell me, how is it different being in a relationship
on Valentine's Day? Love is just the core of everything.
And you think Valentine's Day reflects that?
Yeah, because it gives an excuse to, like, celebrate what you have.
Yeah. Do you know what I mean?
Meet Fruitcake.
This Valentine's, she's hoping for a date to remember.
DOOR SLAMS
How are you?Good, thank you. How are you?
Are you OK?Yes.
Nice to see you. Nice to see you, too.
It's good that you come and see me at work.
I know, it's amazing, right? Yeah.
Come with me. Let's go and have something to eat.OK. This way.OK.
I can completely sympathise with the daters.
That was nerve-racking. What is nerve-racking?
Waiting. Oh, thank you.
Oh, gentleman.
Yeah, of course. Thank you very much.
We can see everything this way. Yeah.
You're looking at me. You're making me nervous.
What are you nervous for?
Well, when we met, you were very confident.
Yeah, well... You were.
Yes, true. True, true.
I don't know, my alter ego...
Yeah...you know, came through. Oh, it's your alter ego?Yeah, yeah.
Hey. Hello. Hey. So lovely seeing you. Mwah.
You look delicious. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
What a treat! Oh, my God, I'm serving the boss. This is weird.
I don't really know what to do with myself.
No pressure. Allergies? Anyone got any allergies?
No, no. No. No allergies. What do you recommend?
The sea bass is good.Yeah.
I'll have a Caesar salad, please. Caesar salad.
Are we going to be having any wine? I'm going to have a cocktail.
You're not going to have a drink, cos you're working?
I've got a restaurant to run, babe. Sorry.
I've got to keep my wits about myself, you know?
So, how does it feel to be married?
Amazing. Does it feel different? Does it feel different?
Thanks, CiCi.
It feels different because I now refer to Fred as my husband.
Yeah. That's nice. It feels warmer in your heart.
It's been very good.Yeah. Long may it continue.
What's happening?
The boss is currently on a date with his wife.
No?! Yeah, yeah. Up there. Have you not seen?
Look at them. She's absolutely gorgeous. Is she gorgeous?
Yeah. Oh, my God, she is. That's lovely.
It's making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I know. I like that.
Are you having a good time?
Do you know what, I'm really enjoying myself.
I was really concerned that I'd get somebody who was boring.
And do you know what, she talks more than me.
So it's really nice. Oh, good. Really similar.
OVER PHONE:Hello, Patrick. Oh.
I'm in the toilet. There's another man here.
Is there another man? Have you made friends? I've just met him.
I don't even know... What's your name? Daniel.
Daniel. He's having a good time. I'm having a nice time.
We're all having a great time! We're all having a nice time.
So, how's it going? Yeah, it's going good.
He's like me. He doesn't show up, so...
She's disrespected Girls Aloud, so... Oh, mate.
How are you going to get over that? That's a hurdle.
I haven't told her all the memorabilia I've got yet,
but I might do.
I mean, we will always remember that day where we met
on the streets of Peckham.
With you, it was just you were walking. I just liked your eyes.
And you started to smile at me, that beautiful smile of yours.
And I thought, oh, this is ni-...
And I smiled back, and I had to stop and start the conversation.
I asked you for your number and said,
"Let's go for a drink later on."
And the rest is history.
I remember our first date. I didn't want it to end.
I remember everything about that day,
even though it was 11 years ago.
Do you? I remember it too.
What was I wearing, then?
You were wearing jeans... Yeah, yeah. ..with holes in.
Yeah. Yes.
And I feel like it was just...
Maybe it had just stopped raining or something that day.
It was a fine drizzle.
Oh, fine drizzle! We call it un crachin in French.
Best day of my life.
You're so sweet.Oh, I get emotional thinking about it.
See, now, look at that. Sun's out.
So because we're from t'north, sun's out, guns out, isn't it?
SHE CHUCKLES
You don't wear vests, do you?
No.
I've got a Girls Aloud T-shirts, but... Don't...
SHE GIGGLES
Stop it.
You brought that up.
With their faces on? I've got some with their faces on.
It was a good date. We had fun. We had a laugh.
We did a very lot in common, yeah, apart from Girls Aloud.
That was the curveball.
I think the one that would upset most people
is the one that says "I'm just a love machine" on it.
Oh, I think that's quite funny. And a lie!
Hello. Hello, again.
This isn't awkward.
I think that's honeycomb. Do it.
SHE CHUCKLES
So, do you want to see each other again?
Well, I'd quite like to go for a pint now.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
I think we've got more to talk about.
I'm not putting out, though.
I think we're very similar. We don't stop talking.
I think it's not about the things we like,
it's about our attitude to life.
So shall we go on somewhere else?
Yeah? Yeah. Sun's out.
Right. I believe there might be a karaoke bar
where I could sing you some Girls Aloud.
You've got your drink in your hand, surely.
I just look like I've nicked it! You can't have your drink in your hand.
I can now. Look, I've nicked it. I've nicked the glass. Stop.
I love having you here.
But I've got to do some work.
But I love you. Cool. All right. Love you a lot.
OK. Thank you for your patience. Thank you. Thank you very much. Ooh.
Thank you.
Do you like goat's cheese?
You don't! I'll try it.
I want to see you eat it. Oh, God.
Um, OK.
Fuckin' hell.
Do you know what they say it tastes like?
Old man's crotch.
Oh, Jesus Christ alive!
What do you think of Valentine's Day, Fred?
I love Valentine's. It's my favourite day of the year.
For other people or for yourself? For me.
I'm sure I recognise you somewhere.
Why do I recognise you?
You may. Have you ever watched Gogglebox?
Oh, yeah. I was on Gogglebox. Oh.
With my ex. Oh.
We were the guys with the poodles sitting on the couch.
OK. I was married up till last year.
OK. We were together for 12 years. OK.
When you break up with someone,
especially if you've been married and you've given your heart to it,
it's very... Yeah, it's very upsetting.
And it was upsetting.
I definitely felt like I was grieving for a good six months.
It was very hard to get over it.
For me, like, if you're going to get married,
you think you're going to be together forever.
You know, your heart is stuck on that.
So when you separate, it's very hard to get out of that funk.
And it was hard to get out of that funk.
I want to build a new future.
Being in a relationship with someone else.
I'm just ready for that new love.
It is difficult, though, because we still live together.
Oh, OK. We're not sharing a bed, do you know what I mean?
He's in the other room and I'm in this room. Yeah.
Eventually, we'll sell our place... Yeah. ..and then move on.
Maybe I should move to Newhaven.
I-I-It's all right.
Not with you!
Hi. Happy Valentine's day.
Are they for me? Yeah. Are they for me?! Yeah.
Oh, honey. Oh, happy Valentine's Day.
I love you so much. I love you too.
What would you ask someone on a first date?
Are you on a role play now? Yes, role play. Role play.
So, what's your name?
Michelle.
Why are you laughing?
Michelle?Yeah. Oh.
What's yours? My name is Fred.
Why do you call me Fruitcake?
Why? Do you know what it means?
Do you know what it means if you call someone a fruitcake?
Somebody's a bit loopy.Yeah. So why do you call me fruitcake?
I don't know.
You don't call me Fruitcake because I'm...
THEY GIGGLE
Fruity but not a nutcase.
# So I told you with a smile
# It's all about you. #
BACKING TUNE PLAYS ON PHONE
# It's Doctor P
# Yeah, the boy's unique
# No-one like me can fix your teeth
# Hey, come see me
# Leave with your teeth, gonna look so chic
# Keep you sweet when a girl don't smile
# I'm like, that's peak. #
Hey!
Hoping for a date with a winning smile is 31-year-old dentist Phil.
Are you on a mission to make dentistry sexy?
I guess without knowing it, maybe.
I've got a really close group of friends
who are all starting to have kids, and all this.
I've worked really, really hard and I've built a decent life for myself.
But there's no point having all that
if you've not got anyone to share it with.
Mr Relaxed.Trying to be. How are you doing, Phil?
Are you OK?I'm good. How are you?
Nice to meet you.Nice to meet you. Very good.
Have you been on many dates before?I have.
I've dated quite a bit. Yeah, I think, trying something new.
Right. Shall we take you through? Yeah, let's do it.
Come with me.Cool.
Dating's not worked out for me as well as my career has.
So, I guess it's time to get a bit of help.
So when was the last time you were dating?
So, I was in a long-term relationship 18 months ago.
All right. And then since then, not been dating as much.
As I've gotten older, I think it does get a little bit harder.
OK. And now you're ready. You have space.
So what's your type? Good energy. Looks after themselves.
Keeps fit. Now I'm looking for a best friend, really,
who, obviously, I'm attracted to.
Working together as a partnership. Power couple vibes.
So, is it important your date has good teeth?
A good smile, yeah. If a girl turns up to a date with bad teeth,
then, unfortunately, it's a red flag.
Hi.
You've got nice teeth. You got a nice smile.
Oh, thank you. I've had these done.
Looking to seal the deal, is medical sales manager Jessica.
My friends would say -
I don't even know if I'm allowed to say this - but, a boss bitch.
That's their words, not mine.
Describe to me what is a boss bitch, then?
I would say somebody that just can be quite ruthless at times.
But I really am a massive softie inside.
All my friends are getting married. My best friend's just had a baby.
I would love to be married by 30.
I mean, that's very ambitious. I'm nearly 28.
You've got plenty of time! This is what my mum always says.
You've got plenty of time! I'm like, "No, Mum."
Nice to see you.You too. You're looking amazing.
Thank you. And what a smile you have.
Thank you.
Actually, your date is at the bar.
Yes. Can you see?Yeah.
I've been single for quite a long time.
And now I'm ready to, like,
meet somebody and ideally, settle down.
I'm looking for somebody ambitious, determined,
sporty, teeth - smiles are very important
because I think that gives away their character.
Shall we go?Yeah, yeah. I'll let you go first.
I do have a soft spot for a man in scrubs.
Hello. Hello. How are you? I'm good, thank you.
How are you? Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too.
Are you OK? I'm OK. You good? Yeah. What's your name, sorry?
I'm Jess. Jess. Phil. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
Wow. Wow. Goodness me. Where have you come down from?
Chester. That's decent.
I work in Leeds, so I got the train from Leeds. Did you?
Yeah. What do you do in Leeds?
I'm a dentist.
Are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good.
I can tell by the pearly whites. Yeah.
Sorry, what was your name again? Remind me.
Jess. Jess. I'm really sorry. It's just nerves.
No, it's totally fine.
I went to the, like, the thermal baths.
Did you? That's so my bag. Are you into that? Yeah, I love all that.
Yeah? A lot of swimming. Lots of saunas, lots of steam rooms. Nice.
Do you work out? Yeah, I do a lot.
I do three, four times a week. Oh, wow. That's mega.
Yeah. Yeah. Are you? Are you into it?
Yeah. I train every week and try and tie that in with the golf.
Oh, you're a golfer. Yeah. Love that.
Yeah. Do you need, like, a plus one on the buggy?
Yeah, of course!
We're Cupids. HE IMITATES LOOSING ARROWS
Little wings flying around.
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh.
You sound like a pigeon. A pigeon!
Do you live with any other people?
I'm on my own with a cat.
What's your cat's name? Barbara. I'd like a dog.
I'd like to get a sausage dog, but then I work away every week, so.
Stick with your pussy!
Been a long time since then.
Well, that was an experience, wasn't it?
God, I've never been on a blind date before,
but, yeah, it was interesting.
Really nice.
Right, what's the dealio? I'm buying.
Oh, that's very kind of you. My pleasure.
Hiya. You all right? Yeah.
So, would you like to see each other again?
You go first. I'll go first.
Erm...yes, I'd like to see you again.
Erm, I don't know if there was a romantic connection between us.
I'm not sure. I don't feel like we was...
I didn't feel any flirting between us. Yeah.
But I definitely want to see you again.
Mmm. I felt like that. Yeah. I felt like, hmm, I don't know,
have we friend zoned each other already?
But I would like to see you again. Yeah.
Because I feel like we had lots in common.
Yeah. And, um, well, you never know, second time.
We are going to have to try some new food.
I'm just thinking of all the great places that we can go.
Lots of champagne.
Garlic! Yeah! Yeah.
There's lots of places that we won't go to.
You go first. Oh, thank you.
No, it says "push".
Shut up!
This is the first time I've ever been out with the grandad.
He tried to call me Grandpa earlier.
I was like, "No." "Do you want me to call you Grandpa?" "No."
How romantic. It is. It's nice, isn't it?
We've been through a lot in the time we've been together.
And, you know, and your support to me when I was ill last year,
and how grateful I was to you
for looking after me. It was a horrible time.
A mad time, that was.Yeah.
And to be diagnosed with Bell's palsy
and not even knowing what Bell's palsy even was.
The thing is, look, when you called the ambulance,
they thought you were having a stroke.Yeah.
And when the ambulance arrived, you know, straight away,
that's what they believed that you were suffering from.
Yeah. And, you know, and to not even be able
to recognise myself when I look in the mirror.
Yeah. And to, you know, kind of in some ways be a bit of a recluse
because I wasn't confident with going outside and my face.
But you've done very well.Yeah.
The fact that I'm still not quite over the hill yet,
even though everyone says, "Oh, I can't see it,"
the fact that sometimes I still suffer with a bit of pain and stuff.
But we've got your back, man.
Thank you. We've got your back. Oh, don't make me cry.
But, no, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Right.
What song shall I do? Um...
Yeah, that'll be the best song, I think.
Thank you. So, the vegan nourish bowl for you here.
Yeah, perfect, thank you.
Thank you. And a medium steak for you here.
Thank you, guys. Thank you, mate. Cheers.
Are you quite good at cooking, like, the meals for yourself?
Yeah, I do all that. Is that your vibe?
Yeah. OK. Like, you want to love and look after someone. Yeah, I love it.
Go on. Love that. Yeah, I love it. I love all that sort of stuff.
Like, home cooked food is, like, my vibe.
Yeah, my mum's, like, around the corner.
She's literally, like, always at my house. Is she?
Just, like, she comes round. I might make a meal during the week
and I'll go to, like, my mum's once a week and my grandma's once a week.
That's nice. That's so cute. I know. I love that.
So, like, how long have you been single for?
Erm, 18 months. OK.
You come out of quite a big relationship, or...? Mmm...
We were together for a year. OK.
Just didn't work out, like...
Yeah, I did think she was the one.
I had in my head, like, oh, I'm going to marry this girl.
You know, we're going to build this life together.
But it just came out of nowhere when she broke up with me.
It was like I had a stone in my chest.
It's hard to even move or do anything without feeling the pain.
It took me a while to come out of my shell.
Yeah? So, yeah. But, hey, it's all good.
So, I guess what I learned is that I need to be looking
for someone who is at the same life stage, has the same goals,
might even have kids.
Someone who I'm aligned with that lasts long term.
What's your go-to? I do a lentil dahl.
I do a really good lentil dahl.
A chickpea lentil dahl, which is really good.
I'm just going to sit and wait patiently for my meal.
Are you? Yeah. They've done well. Have they done well?
OK, good. Yeah. They haven't done too badly.
Yeah!
You look gorgeous. Thank you so much.
Don't you feel like this a restaurant that's, like,
destiny, fate? Yeah. There's, like, so much happening.
Oh, you've done your nails. When did you do that?
Mmm.
Very nice.
It feels like there's an energy. Yes. There's a big energy come in.
What is your love language, then?
Mine is physical touch as well.
Yeah, there is that. There is also that.
You like that? Yeah. OK, good. OK.
It's actually quite nice to sit down here, see what's going on.
I can keep an eye on everybody.
It's all about them.
It's all about them having a magic, magical day.
Yeah. No, it's nice because you can see love blossoming.
Imagine, that's your job. We're very lucky.Yeah.
Do you want kids? Yeah, I want kids. Nice. Yeah, absolutely.
Before, I was so career driven and wanted to do really well. Mmm.
So I really focused on my career because I knew I had to catch up.
Mmm.
Basically, I have epilepsy. OK.
And I've had it since I was about 11.
So school was really, really tough. So I'd have, like, absence seizures.
So I'd be talking to you now... Yeah. ..and then all of a sudden
I would just black out.
So I wouldn't faint, but, like, I'd just start staring into space.
They did all the scans and then they realised
that, actually, I had a stroke before I was born.
So the left side of my brain's pretty much dead.
Whoa. Yeah, it's mad, isn't it? It's so scary. Crazy.
It's so sca-... Yeah, it's crazy.
At school, I could never remember anything.
There was an element of, oh, there's something wrong with her.
You know, when sometimes you have separate classes
for those that struggle academically. That was me.
You want to do well, don't you?
And you know you have the ability to do something.
And that's what became really frustrating.
I managed to get into university
and then I was like, right, I need to smash my career. Yeah.
So you've not had it easy? No. No.
I strive to do well, and I've struggled to meet somebody
who, like, matches that kind of energy and determination and, yeah.
Now, like, life's great and my career is going really well.
It's like now it's time to focus on, like, what else do you want in life?
What's, like, the bigger picture? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you want kids? Do you want to meet someone?
But I do like kids. I used to go into schools and, like,
teach kids about oral health through like, my own, like, songs.
Stuff like that. No way. Did you?
So, I'd, like, rap about teeth and that.
It's nice that you've got, like, a bit of a softer side, like.
That is so lush. Is that for me? Edible. Oh, thank you.
Now, I could do with a fork, actually.
Yeah.
Well, maybe I could feed you.
Dip it in a bit of chocolate.
Can't risk it. All right.
This is what the daters do, you know.
Go on. Go on.
Mmm.
You like it?Mmm.
Feed you again.OK. Hold on. Why you put this in front?
Cos if I get chocolate down me, Fred. No, you've got to come closer.
Yeah. No, no, I can't risk it. Look.
Mmm.
Trying to be a lady.
It's like the Arabian Nights the way you put your thing on like that.
And you're going to start doing the belly dance.
HE HUMS HIGH-PITCHED TUNE
There's something about being fed
that's very sensual and very nice. And, yeah,
you might be lucky later.
Do you want some more?
I'm lucky every night.
Well, it was very, very nice of you to come and see me.Of course.
I've really enjoyed dinner.Me too.
But I've got to go back to work, babe.Mm-hm. OK. OK?
Shall I meet you up after work?
You come and pick me up when we finish?Yeah, no problem.
All right.All right. OK, let me take you back.
Thank you. You're welcome.
You can hold my hand down the stairs.
You know how clumsy I can be sometimes.
THEY CHUCKLE
Are you OK now?Yes, thank you.
How you going? I'm good. Are you ready for your performance?
I'm ready. I'm ready. OK, man. I'm good. Awesome. All right.
Thank you very much. Looking forward to it.Thank you.
Enjoy. I will.Enjoy. Good.
Outside of the rapping songs to children,
do you do any other rapping?
I might do one, like, on my own on, like, social media.
Retainers or, like, brushing.
So, cleaning retainers...
Yeah. ..bane of my life.
What do you recommend? Retainer pod.
# Keep your retainers fresh
# Retainers blessed Retainers clean
# You know what I mean
# Just pop one tab in a pod and let it, zzz. #
Oh, my God.
I love that!
That's brilliant.
How did it go?
Oh, really well. Yeah.
No, I really liked him.
I think he's definitely boyfriend material.
Maybe marriage material. Who knows?
Ticked a lot of my boxes.
All the important ones he ticked, and more.
Already you're, like, trying to inspire me.
Anything like that, I'm like, just totally go for it.
Mmm. It's really, really good.
You good? Yeah, I'm good. Are you? Yeah, I'm good. Good.
So, would you like to see each other again?
Yes. Yes.
Definitely. Yeah. 100%.
Do you want to split?
I'll get it. OK, thank you. If that's OK. Yes, of course it's OK.
Well, I'll treat you. Oh, thank you.
Shall I get the next one, then? Yeah, it's on you.
You've done really well. You're really driven.
And family's really important to you,
which is really important to me. And there aren't many people
that kind of have that balance, I don't think.
Shall we exchange numbers, and that? Yeah.
I think it was just a really nice vibe.
Like, you're obviously a strong woman.
Like, you've been through a lot.
And then now you're really settled... Yeah. ..and you're, like,
kind of ready to find someone. So I thought that was cool as well.
# So you whispered in my ear
# And you told me too... #
Love a live performance.
# Life worthwhile
# It's all about you
# And I would answer all your wishes
# If you ask me to
# So if you deny me one of your kisses
# Don't know what I'd do
# So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do
# Dancing on the kitchen tiles
# It's all about you
# Yeah. #
Thank you very much. Thank you.
DINERS APPLAUD
Thank you, thank you.
Could you cope with me at a Girls Aloud gig? That's the real question.
You can't wear a T-shirt.
Then she's not coming.
# And I would answer all your wishes, if you asked me to
# But if you deny me one of your kisses... #
Any First Date raps you can think of?
# Out on First Dates
# I think it's gone great
# Here with my honey
# And I think we're going to go again. #
Hey!
# It's all about you It's all about you
# It's all about you, baby
# It's all about you It's all about you
# It's all about you, baby... #
Oh, yes, you did. Caring is sharing.
Oh, yes.Are you ready?
# It's all about you
# It's all about you. #
Fancy a date at the First Dates restaurant?
You're just gorgeous.
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