[ REMOTE CLICKS ] [ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY!
I'M GONNA DO WHAT I WANT ALL DAY! I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!
I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] >> ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. OKAY, LET'S PULL OUT OUR BOOKS.
"THE QUIRKERSONS WERE ORPHANS
EVER SINCE THEIR PARENTS
SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED, AS
PARENTS ARE KNOWN TO DO."
>> Clarence: [ GIGGLING ]
>> "THE ORPHANS HAD DUELED WITH
SINISTER ADULTS AND SOLVED
CRIMES OF THE MOST PECULIAR
PECULIARITIES.
BUT THIS CASE WOULD TURN OUT TO
BE PERHAPS THE QUIRKIEST --"
>> Sumo: [ LAUGHING ]
>> CLARENCE AND SUMO, YOU KNOW
I'M GONNA HAVE TO TAKE AWAY A
BUDDY STAR FOR THAT.
[ STUDENTS GASP ]
>> AAH!
>> Sumo: [ GROWLS ]
>> Clarence: MAN, I'M NOT DOIN'
SO HOT ON MY BUDDY STARS.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
>> Jeff HAS SO MANY BUDDY STARS.
WHY EVEN TRY?
>> DO YOU THINK I HAVE ENOUGH
BUDDY STARS TO GET INTO A GOOD
COLLEGE?
>> Jeff: SO, I COUNTED, AND I
HAVE 23 BUDDY STARS.
THAT'S THE MOST IN THE WHOLE
CLASS!
>> Sumo: THAT'S GREAT, JEFF.
>> Jeff: DON'T BE JEALOUS, SUMO.
IT'S JUST 'CAUSE I WORK A LOT
HARDER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.
>> Sumo: [ RASPBERRY ]
>> Jeff: OH, THAT'S REALLY
MATURE OF YOU.
>> Sumo: [ RASPBERRY CONTINUES ]
>> Jeff: OH, THAT'S A VERY
CONVINCING ARGUMENT.
>> Clarence: WHAT DO BUDDY
STARS EVEN MEAN?
THEY'RE NOT MY BUDDIES.
THEY JUST MAKE EVERYBODY SAD --
EVERYBODY EXCEPT FOR JEFF.
[ SIGHS ]
I WISH EVERYBODY COULD JUST HAVE
AS MANY AS JEFF.
THEN EVERYONE WOULD BE HAPPY.
I SHOULD JUST MAKE UP MY OWN
REWARDS AND GIVE THOSE OUT TO
EVERYBODY.
[ GASPS ]
MY OWN BUDDY STARS!
THAT'S IT!
OKAY, OKAY, THINK, THINK,
THINK, THINK, THINK.
WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN STAR
STICKERS?
ICE CREAM, DOGS, MONEY...
MONEY! THAT'S IT!
>> HMM...
>> Mom: CLARENCE, IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR FOOD, I'M GIVING IT TO THE DOG!
>> Clarence: TELL HER I CAN'T
MAKE IT TONIGHT!
NOT WHEN I'M THIS CLOSE.
>> Mom: [ SIGHS ]
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT BOY?
>> Clarence: TOO DARK...
TOO LIGHT...
THIS ISN'T WORKING!
I CAN'T USE THIS.
IT'S WET!
GOT TO MAKE SOME MONEY.
[ GASPS ] OF COURSE!
IT'S SO SIMPLE.
[ HUMMING ] YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
RIGHT THERE...
[ SNIFF ]
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
>> Clarence: HEE HEE HEE!
HEY, CRENDLE!
GOOD JOB AT SHOWING UP FOR
SCHOOL TODAY!
HERE YOU GO.
[ GIGGLES ]
OOH, NICE BACKPACK!
OH, WOW! AND YOU'RE WEARING A
T-SHIRT THAT MATCHES?
COOL!
HERE, HAVE ONE MORE.
TEE-HEE!
>> Clarence: C-PLUS?
GREAT JOB, CLARENCE!
>> AW, MAN, ANOTHER "F."
I REALLY THOUGHT I'D PASS THIS
ONE.
>> WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE
STUDIED.
>> I DID STUDY.
I GUESS I'M JUST DUMB.
>> Clarence: HERE YOU GO.
>> WHAT IS IT?
>> Clarence: IT'S A CLARENCE
DOLLAR -- FOR PUTTIN' IN A GOOD
EFFORT!
>> WOW. SOMEHOW, I DON'T FEEL
THE STING AS MUCH.
MMM.
>> CLARENCE, HE GOT AN "F" ON
HIS PAPER.
OKAY, THAT'S NOT AN ACHIEVEMENT.
>> Jeff: YEAH, BUDDY STARS ARE
AN ACHIEVEMENT.
>> OKAY, THANK YOU, JEFF.
>> Clarence: [ SIGHS ]
>> Jeff: CLARENCE, YOU CAN'T
JUST MAKE UP YOUR OWN GRADING
SYSTEM.
IT WOULD BE IRRELEVANT.
>> Clarence: JEFF, I DON'T KNOW
THE MEANING OF THE WORD
"IRRELEVANT."
NO, I REALLY DON'T.
>> Jeff: IT MEANS IT DOESN'T
MATTER.
WE'VE GOT A PERFECTLY FINE
SYSTEM.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE IF YOU WERE MORE
RESPECTFUL AND STOPPED EATING
GUM OFF THE BOTTOM OF DESKS,
YOU'D HAVE SOME BUDDY STARS UP
THERE.
>> Clarence: I GUESS YOU'RE
RIGHT.
HERE, SUMO, YOU WANT THESE
THINGS?
>> Sumo: YEAH. WHAT ARE THEY?
>> Clarence: A DREAM.
ONLY A DREAM.
>> Sumo: HMM.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
>> Clarence: [ SIGHS ]
BACK TO ANOTHER DAY OF BUDDY
STARS.
>> I HAVE CLARENCE DOLLARS!
I'LL GIVE YOU THREE.
>> MM...OKAY!
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND!
>> NO, YOU ARE!
>> Clarence: WHAT THE HECK?
>> OH, YEAH, YEAH. THANK YOU.
>> Clarence: [ GASPS ]
>> Sumo: HEY, BUDDY, CHECK IT
OUT!
EVERYBODY'S USING CLARENCE
DOLLARS!
>> Clarence: BU-- BUT HOW?
>> Sumo: I JUST STARTED TRADING
'EM FOR STUFF AND THEY CAUGHT
ON!
YOUR DREAM CAME TRUE BUDDY!
>> Clarence: OH, REALLY?!
EXCELLENT JOB, SIR. NO LIPS ON THE DRINKING FOUNTAIN.
KEEP IT UP, TIGER.
PICK A WINNER FOR ME.
KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK.
>> THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
NICE SHOES, CLARENCE.
>> Clarence: THANKS.
MY MOM PICKED 'EM OUT.
>> UH, I THINK THEY'RE NICE,
TOO! YES!
>> HEY, DUSTIN!
YOU GUYS WANT TO COME OVER TO MY
HOUSE AFTER SCHOOL TODAY?
I GOT THE NEW "SPACEMOLES" GAME!
>> Clarence: HEY, THERE, BELSON!
FOR BEIN' SUCH A GOOD BELSON,
HERE'S YOUR VERY OWN CLARENCE
DOLLAR, JUST FOR YOU.
SPEND IT WISELY.
COME ON, FELLAS.
>> [ GRUMBLING ]
>> HE THREW AWAY A CLARENCE
DOLLAR!
>> GIVE ME MY MONEY.
>> Clarence: THAT WON'T BE
NECESSARY.
>> WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?
>> Clarence: LET'S JUST SAY I'M
YOUR NEW MOM.
HERE'S A CLARENCE DOLLAR, SON.
UNHAND THIS FELLOW.
NOW GET OUT OF HERE. >> UH, AT THE RATE YOU'RE GOIN', WE'RE GONNA NEED TO
MAKE...50 MORE CLARENCE DOLLARS
BY THE END OF THE SCHOOL DAY!
>> Clarence: TIME TO UP
PRODUCTION.
>> MM. MY HAND HURTS.
>> Clarence: APPROVED.
THIS IS FOR YOUR LOSS.
THAT DOG SHOULD BE CAUGHT AND
PUNISHED.
>> CLARENCE, YOU NEED TO STOP
REWARDING PEOPLE FOR BAD THINGS,
OKAY?
FORGETTING HOMEWORK IS BAD.
HE'S GETTING A ZERO ON THAT
ASSIGNMENT.
>> Clarence: SEE, MRS. BAKER,
THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME
AND YOU.
CLARENCE DOLLARS ARE FOR
EVERYBODY.
[ STUDENTS GASP ]
AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE?
>> Sumo: YEAH, BUDDY STARS
STINK!
>> OKAY. HEY.
EASY.
>> Jeff: I THINK BUDDY STARS ARE
STILL RELEVANT.
"YEAH. ME TOO."
>> Clarence: HERE YOU GO,
EVERYONE.
>> CLARENCE DOLLARS ARE THE
BEST!
>> Clarence: BYE, GUYS.
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
STAY OUT OF TROUBLE, YOU
KNUCKLEHEADS.
>> Jeff: CLARENCE, YOU HAVE TO
STOP ALL THIS CLARENCE DOLLAR
NONSENSE.
>> Clarence: SORRY, JEFF.
MONEY TALKS.
>> Jeff: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN
MEAN?
>> Clarence: "IT MEANS I'M NOT
GOING ANYWHERE.
CLARENCE DOLLARS ARE HERE TO
STAY."
THAT'S RIGHT, DOLLAR CLARENCE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE PRETTY HANDSOME, IF I DO
SAY SO MYSELF.
"YOU'RE NOT TOO SHABBY YOURSELF,
REGULAR CLARENCE."
OH, YOU'RE JUST SAYIN' THAT.
>> Jeff: I GIVE UP.
>> Clarence: WHAT THE HECK ARE
JEFF AND MRS. BAKER SO WORRIED
ABOUT?
CLARENCE DOLLARS ARE SO GOOD.
EVERYBODY LOVES 'EM.
MWAH!
HOW COULD YOU DO ANYTHING WRONG?
[ Echoing ] WRONG...WRONG...
¶ DIDDLY-DONG DONG ¶
¶ ANYTHING WRONG ¶
AH, NOTHING LIKE GOIN' FOR A
MORNING SWIM...
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S YOUR OWN
DOLLARS.
[ SQUEAKING ]
[ COUGHS ]
WHOA!
>> CLARENCE!
>> Clarence: A MONEY MONSTER?
AAAH!
>> [ ROARS ]
>> Clarence: [ GASPS, PANTING ]
HUH?
UH-OH.
BELSON?
>> HMM.
I THINK I'LL GET A
CHEESECAKE STICK.
>> Clarence: NO, NO.
NOOOOOOOOO!
>> Clarence: [ GASPING ]
OH. OH.
I HAD SUCH A TERRIBLE FRIGHT.
A MONSTER MADE OF MONEY --
WHATEVER COULD IT MEAN?
>> Mom: SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN ALL
THOSE TURKISH DELIGHTS BEFORE
BED.
>> Clarence: YOU'RE NOT MY MOM
AAAAAAH!
[ GASPS, PANTING ]
OH, MY GOSH.
IS THIS REAL LIFE?
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
>> [ YAWNING ]
>> Clarence: YEP, THIS IS THE
REAL ONE.
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
>> GIVE ME BACK MY CLARENCE
DOLLARS!
>> Clarence: WHAT THE HECK?
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
>> MINE, MINE, MINE!
>> Clarence: WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHERE'S ALL THE FRIENDSHIP?
[ SHOUTING CONTINUES ]
>> HEY, HEY, HEY!
PUT THAT DOWN.
>> Jeff: CLARENCE, THE WHOLE
SCHOOL'S GONE CRAZY OVER YOUR
DOLLARS.
YOU GOT TO DO SOME-- AAH!
BACK!
BACK, YOU DEVILS!
>> UH, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN
KEEP DRAWIN' ALL THESE CLARENCE
DOLLARS, CLARENCE.
>> Clarence: WOW.
THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
YOU'RE GOOD AT DRAWING.
>> YEAH, I CAN --
>> Jeff: CLARENCE, PLEASE, SHOW
SOME HUMANITY.
YOU GOT TO STOP THIS.
>> Clarence: I KNOW.
IT'S BECOME MORE POWERFUL THAN I
EVER IMAGINED.
AND NOW I'LL HAVE TO DESTROY MY
OWN CREATION.
JEFF, GET SOME GASOLINE.
WE'RE GONNA BURN THESE DOLLARS
TO THE GROUND.
>> Jeff: I DON'T THINK THAT'S
GONNA SOLVE ANYTHING.
WE NEED TO FLOOD THE MARKET WITH
THEM.
>> Clarence: EXACTLY.
WE'LL FLOOD THE SCHOOL.
>> Jeff: NO, NO, NO.
I MEAN MAKE SO MANY CLARENCE
DOLLARS THAT NO ONE WILL USE
THEM ANYMORE.
LIKE SOVIET MONEY.
>> Clarence: INTERESTING.
SO...THEN WE FLOOD THE SCHOOL?
>> Jeff: NO.
NO, THAT NEVER HAPPENS.
>> HEY, WHAT'RE YOU KIDS DO-- DON'T TOUCH ANY OF THAT --
[ KIDS SHOUTING ]
>> Clarence: ALL RIGHT, COME AND GET 'EM. TAKE AS MANY AS YOU WANT.
[ KIDS GASP ]
>> THANK YOU.
>> I'VE GOT THEM! THEY'RE MINE!
THEY'RE ALL MINE!
>> [ LAUGHING ]
I'VE GOT SO MUCH!
BUT SO DOES EVERYBODY ELSE.
>> WELL, WHAT ARE WE GONNA TRADE
NOW?
>> UH, DO YOU WANT MINE?
I HAVE TOO MANY NOW.
>> YEAH, I KNOW, REALLY.
>> Jeff: THERE WE GO.
CRISIS AVERTED.
NOW WE CAN GO BACK TO THE GOOD
OLD BUDDY-STAR SYSTEM.
>> HEY, EVERYONE!
I JUST GOT THIS NEW THING FROM
MY UNCLE IN CALIFORNIA.
>> All: WHOA!
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
CALIFORNIA.
THEY'RE CALLED...
TAPPY CARDS.
>> All: WHOA!
>> AND TO PLAY, YOU HAVE TO BUY
THEM ALL!
>> [ LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY ]
>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WITH REAL MONEY.
[ ALL CHEERING ]
[ WIND HOWLING ]
>> Jeff: HOW YOU FEELIN', BIG GUY? >> Clarence: IT'S LIKE I HAD THE
WHOLE WORLD ON A LEASH.
BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT TO BE ONE
OF THOSE STUPID INVISIBLE DOG
LEASHES.
THERE'S NOT EVEN A REAL DOG
THERE.
>> Jeff: RIGHT.
>> Clarence: WELL, IT WAS A NICE
DREAM.
I GUESS IT TAKES MORE TO CHANGE
THE WORLD THAN JUST PRINTER
PAPER WITH MY FACE ON IT.
>> [ PANTING ]
I FINALLY GOT IT.
BELSON BUCKS.
>> Clarence: SORRY, BELSON.
EVERYONE'S INTO TAPPY CARDS NOW.
"GOTTA BUY 'EM ALL."
WHAT'S UP, COOL GUY?
>> Sumo: WANT A FREEZY POP?
I TRADED IN ALL MY CLARENCE
DOLLARS FOR 'EM RIGHT BEFORE THE
CRASH.
THEY'RE KIND OF MELTY.
>> Jeff: WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD
WANT THAT MANY CLARENCE DOLLARS?
>> [ LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY ]
>> ¶ EARLY TO BED ¶ ¶ EARLY TO RISE ¶
¶ PICKING MY NOSE ¶
>> Clarence: HM, HM, HM. HOLD ON TIGHT. DON'T FORGET YOUR HELMET!
VROOM! VROOM! VROOOOOOM!
RRRR!
HELLO!
REEERRRRRRR!
PBHT!
AAH!
PCCK!
VROOOM!
RRK!
EXCUSE ME, ASHLEY.
CAN I DO A BACKFLIP OVER YOUR
BINDER?
>> UM, SURE.
>> Clarence: VROOOM!
RRRRR!
AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!
WAAAH!
VROOOM!
"THAT WAS REALLY GREAT."
"YEAH, I KNOW. THANK YOU."
VROOOM. VROOOM!
[ CRASHING ]
>> [ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
>> SO...
YOU TWO ARE GETTING PRETTY
CLOSE.
>> WE ARE?
>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
IT'S SO OBVIOUS.
CLARENCE TOTALLY LIKES YOU.
>> YOU THINK SO?
>> YOU HAVE TO MAKE HIM YOUR
BOYFRIEND.
YOU GUYS WOULD MAKE THE CUTEST
COUPLE.
>> YEAH.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
I HADN'T REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT
IT.
I MEAN, I GUESS I COULD.
SHOULD I WAIT FOR HIM TO ASK ME?
>> Clarence: OOH.
>> YOU BETTER MAKE THE FIRST
MOVE.
>> Clarence: VREOOOW!
PCCK!
NOW IT'S A FIGHTER JET!
PKK! PKK! YOW!
>> HEY, CLARENCE.
>> Clarence: WHAT?
>> DO YOU WANT TO BE MY
BOYFRIEND?
>> Clarence: WHAT?
>> I SAID, DO YOU WANT TO BE MY
BOYFRIEND?
YOU DON'T HAVE TO IF YOU DON'T
WANT TO.
>> Clarence: DOES THAT MEAN THAT
YOU WOULD BE MY GIRLFRIEND?
>> YEAH, I GUESS IT DOES.
>> Clarence: OH. WELL, UH, OKAY,
THEN.
>> OKAY.
SO, I GUESS WERE SUPPOSED TO GO
ON A DATE NOW?
>> Clarence: A DATE?! RIGHT.
UM, WHEN DO WE DO THAT?
>> WE COULD GO TONIGHT, IF
THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU.
>> Clarence: WHAT?
>> MAYBE, LIKE, PIZZA SHACK?
>> Clarence: YEAH, THEY GOT GOOD
PIZZA.
>> I'VE NEVER EATEN THERE.
>> Clarence: YEAH, ME, EITHER.
>> OKAY. YOU WANT TO MEET THERE
AT LIKE 5:00?
>> Clarence: YEP. SEE YOU THERE.
>> OKAY, BYE.
[ ENGINE SPUTTERING ]
>> Clarence: [ BREATHES DEEPLY ] SO, I GUESS I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW.
>> Jeff: [ SPITS ] WHAT?!
>> Sumo: ALL RIGHT, BUDDY!
YOU SNAGGED ONE!
>> Jeff: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE FIRST
ONE IN THE GROUP TO GET A
GIRLFRIEND.
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE NICE GUY OF
THE GROUP.
>> HOLD THE DOOR, PLEASE!
OOF!
>> Jeff: I GUESS NICE GUYS DO
FINISH LAST.
>> Sumo: OH, YEAH, HAVIN' A
GIRLFRIEND'S GREAT.
MY BROTHER'S GOT LIKE THREE
OF 'EM.
>> Clarence: WOW.
>> Sumo: IT'S A LOT OF WORK,
THOUGH.
YOU GOT TO BUY 'EM STUFF, TALK
TO 'EM.
>> Clarence: SUMO, I GOT A
CONFESSION TO MAKE.
I KNOW I MAY SEEM LIKE A LADY
KILLER, BUT I'VE NEVER HAD A
GIRLFRIEND BEFORE.
WILL YOU TEACH ME HOW TO A BE A
MAN?
>> Sumo: HMM. IT WON'T BE EASY,
BUT I'LL DO IT.
NOW, THE FIRST THING WE GOT TO
DO IS CHANGE UP YOUR WARDROBE.
>> Clarence: MY WHO?
>> Sumo: MAKE YOU LOOK SHARP.
>> Sumo: HERE IT IS. IT'S CALLED A THRIFT STORE. PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING IN OUR
HOUSE CAME FROM HERE.
>> Clarence: WOW.
>> Sumo: SHALL WE?
[ BELL DINGS ]
>> Clarence: WHOA! LOOKIT THAT!
DANG!
THIS PLACE IS AWESOME.
>> Sumo: OH! TRY THIS ONE ON!
IT'S CLASSY.
CLARENCE, NO!
>> OH, MY.
>> Sumo: EH, NO.
EH, NO.
>> Clarence: [ LAUGHING ] >> Sumo: HEADS UP! >> Clarence: YES!
HEY, SUMO, CHECK OUT MY --
OOF!
[ GIGGLING ]
>> Sumo: [ GIGGLING ]
>> Clarence: HUP-HO!
>> Sumo: GAH!
>> Clarence: [ HUMMING ]
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
CANNONBALL!
>> Sumo: TA-DA!
>> Clarence: THIS TOWN'S NOT
VERY BIG, SO WE'LL BOTH HAVE TO
SHARE IT.
>> Sumo: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME.
>> Clarence: GET ALONG,
LITTLE DOGIE!
OKAY, I THINK I'M READY.
>> Sumo: COME ON OUT!
COME ON OUT!
CO--
>> Jeff: MAN, HE LOOKS GOOD!
>> Sumo: EH.
>> Clarence: YOU DON'T LIKE IT,
DO YOU?
>> Sumo: [ GASPS ]
HERE. THIS ONE'S AWESOME!
>> Clarence: [ GASPS ]
>> Sumo: AW, YOU LOOK GREAT!
SHE'S GONNA LOVE IT!
[ CASH REGISTER DINGS ]
>> Clarence: ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S
NEXT?
>> Sumo: ASHLEY'S A NICE GIRL.
SHE'S GONNA WANT A GENTLEMAN.
>> Clarence: ALL RIGHT, WHERE DO
WE CATCH ONE?
>> Sumo: GENTLEMEN AREN'T
CAUGHT, CLARENCE.
THEY'RE MADE -- LIKE BABIES.
OKAY, LET'S PRETEND I'M A FANCY LADY AND YOU'RE MY GENTLEMAN ESCORT.
"OH, MY!
I WANT TO WALK ACROSS THE
STREET, BUT THERE'S THIS
DREADFUL PUDDLE IN THE WAY.
WHATEVER SHALL I DO?"
>> Clarence: JUST JUMP RIGHT
OVER IT.
>> Sumo: NO.
>> Clarence: I COULD THROW YOU
OVER IT.
>> Sumo: NO, CLARENCE, YOU HAVE
TO BE A GENTLEMAN.
LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.
"OH, THIS NASTY PUDDLE!
WHATEVER SHALL I DO?"
>> Clarence: WELL, MY DEAR
LADY, JUST WALK AROUND IT.
>> Sumo: CLARENCE, NO!
OKAY.
WHAT'S MAYBE SOMETHING YOU COULD
DO THAT'S GENTLEMANLY?
MAYBE SOMETHING YOU'VE SEEN
ON TV.
>> Clarence: SPRAY-ON HAIR?
A CHI-- A CHIA PET?
>> Sumo: THROW YOUR COAT DOWN
AND LET ME WALK ON IT!
>> Clarence: OH, YEAH!
[ DING! ] [ GIGGLING ] >> Sumo: NOW THAT YOU'RE A
GENTLEMAN, ALL WE GOT TO DO IS
MAKE YOU INTERESTING.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
>> Jeff: DID YOUR DATE GET
CANCELED?
>> Clarence: OKAY, JEFF, YOU GOT
FIVE MINUTES TO MAKE ME
INTERESTING BEFORE MY DATE.
>> Jeff: FIVE MINUTES?
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
>> Clarence: GREAT, THANKS.
>> Sumo: YOU'RE A REAL PEACH,
JEFF.
>> Jeff: YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T
JUST MAKE YOURSELF INTERESTING.
>> Clarence: RIGHT.
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE DOING IT.
>> Jeff: HMM, NOTHING'S COMING
UP.
INTERESTING CELEBRITY BLOOPERS,
INTERESTING LIGHT FIXTURES, TOP
10 INTERESTING VACATION SPOTS...
>> Clarence: AW, COOL!
>> Jeff: TOUCHING!
>> Clarence: SORRY.
>> Jeff: IT SAYS I NEED TO
DOWNLOAD A PLUGIN.
>> Sumo: NO! NO! CLICK NO!
>> Jeff: YES.
JUST NEED TO DO A QUICK REBOOT
AFTER IT DOWNLOADS.
>> Clarence: DID IT WORK?
I DON'T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT.
>> Sumo: JEFF, WHAT'S WRONG WITH
THIS COMPUTER?!
>> Jeff: IT'S FINE.
WE JUST NEED TO GIVE IT SOME
MORE TIME.
[ MIDI MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> Sumo: YOUR COMPUTER'S TOO
SLOW, JEFF! COME ON!
THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE!
>> Jeff: OKAY, OKAY!
JUST ASK HER THESE QUESTIONS AND
YOU'LL BE FINE.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> Sumo: YOU TOTALLY GOT THIS! >> Clarence: THIS DATE'S GONNA BE AWESOME!
>> Sumo: YEAH, IT IS.
>> Clarence: AND YOU'RE GONNA BE
RIGHT THERE BY MY SIDE THE WHOLE
TIME!
>> Sumo: N-N-NO.
>> Clarence: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>> Sumo: UH, CLARENCE, I CAN'T
COME.
IT'S A DATE.
>> Clarence: [ GASPS ]
YOU MEAN IT'S JUST GONNA BE ME
AND HER THE WHOLE TIME?!
>> Sumo: YEP.
>> Clarence: HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
LET'S BACK UP.
SO, YOU'RE SAYING IT'S JUST
GONNA BE ME AND A GIRL ALONE?
>> Sumo: YEP!
>> Clarence: SUMO, I DON'T EVEN
KNOW HER!
>> Sumo: GOOD LUCK, BUDDY!
>> WELL, HELLO, THERE! WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, YOUNG MAN?
>> Clarence: UM, YEAH, IS
ASHLEY HOME?
I MEAN, I'M HERE TO SEE...GIRL.
>> OH, I SEE.
IS THAT HER OVER THERE?
>> Clarence: [ SQUEAKS ]
>> HEY, CLARENCE.
[ COUGHING ]
>> Clarence: LET'S GO SIT OVER
HERE!
SO...
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
LET'S SEE WHAT THE CHEF'S
SPECIAL IS HERE.
HMM.
OOH! I RECOMMEND THE DOUBLE
CRUST PIZZA, WITH CRUST BAKED
RIGHT INSIDE OF THE CRUST.
DOUBLE CRUST!
[ GIGGLES ]
>> THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
AND I'LL GET GET A MILKSHAKE,
TOO.
>> Clarence: E-EXCELLENT
CHOICE...MY DARLING.
I SAID, "MY DARLING."
>> HI, THERE! WHAT WOULD YOU KIDS LIKE? >> Clarence: YES. THANK YOU.
WE'LL HAVE THE CHEESE-CRUST
PIZZA, AND FOR THE LADY, YOUR
FINEST MILKSHAKE.
>> CHOCOLATE.
>> OKAY!
COMIN' RIGHT UP.
>> Clarence: EXCUSE ME!
COULD WE GET SOME CRAYONS FOR
DRAWING, PLEASE?!
>> SURE, SWEETIE.
>> Clarence: THANK YOU.
WHEW!
>> SO...H-HOW...ARE... >> Clarence: OH! I KNOW! IF YOU WERE STUCK ON A DESERT
ISLAND, NAME THREE THINGS YOU
WOULD BRING?
>> UM, OKAY.
UH...I GUESS FOOD, UM, SOME
SMOKE FLARES, UH...
>> Clarence: GOOD CHOICES.
UM, SO, DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
>> WELL, I DID -- MY HAMSTER,
MEATBALL...
BUT HE DIED...
TODAY.
>> Clarence: I -- I'M SORRY FOR
YOUR LOSS.
>> Jeff: LOOK AT HIM, JUST
CHARMIN' IT UP.
>> Sumo: OUR LITTLE BOY'S ALL
GROWN UP.
>> Clarence: WORST, UH...
WORST JOB YOU EVER HAD?
>> I'VE NEVER HAD A JOB.
>> Clarence: HA HA!
SOUNDS LIKE A REAL NIGHTMARE!
>> ARE YOU READING FROM
SOMETHING?
>> Clarence: NO, UH, I DON'T
READ!
>> ONE CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE.
>> Clarence: UH, HERE'S YOUR
MILKSHAKE!
>> THANK YOU.
[ SLURPING ]
>> Clarence: UH...UH...
I GOT IT!
ASHLEY, LET'S SHARE THIS
MILKSHAKE.
IT'LL BE ROMANTIC!
>> AAH!
>> Clarence: OH, NO.
UH, I KNOW WHAT TO DO!
>> Sumo: GOOD FORM! I TAUGHT HIM THAT. >> WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
>> Clarence: UH, SO YOU COULD...
WALK ON IT?
>> CLARENCE...
>> Clarence: I'M SORRY.
I RUINED OUR DATE.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF.
>> ME NEITHER!
THIS GIRLFRIEND THING IS WEIRD.
I MEAN, IS IT WEIRD FOR YOU,
TOO?
>> Clarence: YEAH, IT'S A LITTLE
WEIRD.
AND I'M STILL WET FROM THAT
PUDDLE.
>> DO YOU WANT TO JUST BREAK UP
AND BE FRIENDS AGAIN?
>> Clarence: YEAH, I'D LIKE THAT
BETTER.
DO YOU WANT TO JUST GO CATCH
FROGS BEHIND THE SCHOOL?
>> THERE ARE FROGS THERE?
>> Clarence: YEAH! YOU DIDN'T
KNOW THAT?
THERE'S -- THERE'S A LOT OF
FROGS.
[ FROGS CROAKING ]
>> I GOT A TADPOLE!
>> Clarence: WHOA!
>> Jeff: [ GIGGLES ]
>> Sumo: HEY, CLARENCE, SORRY YOUR DATE DIDN'T WORK OUT. THAT STUFF ALMOST NEVER WORKS
FOR MY BROTHERS.
>> Jeff: YEAH, I'M SORRY, TOO.
SO, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ASHLEY?
IS SHE AVAILABLE NOW?
I MEAN, NOT FOR ME!
JUST SO I KNOW.
>> Clarence: FELLAS, FELLAS,
FELLAS.
WE DON'T NEED GIRLFRIENDS RIGHT
NOW.
WE SHOULD JUST BE MORE LIKE
THESE FROGS.
LOOK AT THAT ONE RIGHT THERE.
HE'S JUST FLOATIN' DOWN THE
RIVER OF LIFE, NOT A CARE IN THE
WHOLE WORLD.
THAT'S LIVIN'.
>> Sumo: I THINK THAT FROG'S
DEAD.
>> Clarence: OH.
I'LL GIVE YOU A DOLLAR IF YOU
EAT IT.
>> Sumo: DONE.
>> ¶ EARLY TO BED ¶ ¶ EARLY TO RISE ¶
¶ PICKING MY NOSE ¶