1
00:00:02,347 --> 00:00:03,348
[ Remote clicks ]

2
00:00:03,382 --> 00:00:04,866
[ Upbeat music plays ]

3
00:00:04,901 --> 00:00:07,421
♪♪

4
00:00:07,455 --> 00:00:09,595
♪ I don't care what you say!

5
00:00:09,630 --> 00:00:11,666
♪♪

6
00:00:11,701 --> 00:00:13,668
♪ I'm gonna do what I want
all day! ♪

7
00:00:13,703 --> 00:00:16,257
♪ I'm the king of the world!
I'm the king of the world! ♪

8
00:00:16,292 --> 00:00:18,190
♪ I'm the king of the world!
I'm the king of the world! ♪

9
00:00:18,225 --> 00:00:22,643
♪ I'm the king of the world!
I'm the king of the world! ♪

10
00:00:24,714 --> 00:00:29,443
♪♪

11
00:00:29,477 --> 00:00:32,687
"So then the lonely skeleton
was really sad.

12
00:00:32,722 --> 00:00:34,931
He didn't want
the whole town mad at him.

13
00:00:34,965 --> 00:00:38,176
His bones just kept rattling
because he was so cold.

14
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:41,110
So I put him in my pocket
to keep him warm,

15
00:00:41,144 --> 00:00:44,182
-and we became best friends."
-Aww.

16
00:00:44,216 --> 00:00:46,701
"And then we bought
a house together."

17
00:00:46,736 --> 00:00:49,635
Sweetie, I can't believe
you wrote that all by yourself.

18
00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:51,982
-It's wonderful.
-Thanks, Mom.

19
00:00:52,017 --> 00:00:53,708
I stayed up
all night writing it,

20
00:00:53,743 --> 00:00:55,365
but I don't even
feel tired or any--

21
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,987
[ Snoring ]

22
00:00:57,022 --> 00:00:58,299
Mwah.

23
00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:00,439
[ Both snoring ]

24
00:01:00,474 --> 00:01:02,269
[ Birds chirping ]

25
00:01:02,303 --> 00:01:04,581
[ Humming ]

26
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:11,830
"Shmoofus wastes his day
throwing snow at a shed,

27
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:16,386
while Shmallant helps shovel
his elderly neighbor's driveway.

28
00:01:16,421 --> 00:01:18,492
[ Laughs ]

29
00:01:18,526 --> 00:01:22,116
Kids Being Kids
Creative Writing Contest?

30
00:01:22,151 --> 00:01:24,981
[ Coughs, spits ]

31
00:01:25,015 --> 00:01:26,086
Cool.

32
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,397
Mom, Mom, Mom,

33
00:01:27,432 --> 00:01:29,848
can I enter my story
into this thing?

34
00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:32,747
Aww, that's cute. The winner
gets their story published,

35
00:01:32,782 --> 00:01:35,405
and this Frida A. Ra person
will do drawings for it.

36
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,028
Oh, she's some sort of political
cartoonist or something.

37
00:01:38,063 --> 00:01:43,137
Finally, I'll get to share
my story with the world.

38
00:01:43,172 --> 00:01:45,484
[ Vocalizing ]

39
00:01:45,519 --> 00:01:47,417
Why, hello, there, sport!

40
00:01:47,452 --> 00:01:49,316
What's the good word
for today?

41
00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:52,422
Can you mail this for me?
It's my entry for a contest.

42
00:01:52,457 --> 00:01:54,183
A contest, you say?

43
00:01:54,217 --> 00:01:57,289
Well, this sounds pretty darn
important, if you ask me!

44
00:01:57,324 --> 00:01:59,981
I'm going to hand-deliver
your entry myself!

45
00:02:00,016 --> 00:02:03,123
This other mail is just
going to have to wait.

46
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,642
I won't let you down,
sport!

47
00:02:07,644 --> 00:02:08,783
Thank you!

48
00:02:08,818 --> 00:02:11,338
♪ Waiting for the mail

49
00:02:11,372 --> 00:02:15,445
"And so I put him in my pocket
to keep him warm,

50
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:18,138
and we became best friends."

51
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:19,449
Wow, Clarence.

52
00:02:19,484 --> 00:02:20,795
Have you heard
from the contest?

53
00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:23,143
No, but I wish.

54
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:27,077
All I want is to share
my story with every kid

55
00:02:27,112 --> 00:02:30,495
so they can read it to their
mom or dad before bedtime.

56
00:02:30,529 --> 00:02:32,186
Well, I'm happy
I got to enjoy it.

57
00:02:32,221 --> 00:02:35,465
Good night, Clarence.

58
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:36,984
Heya, sport!

59
00:02:37,018 --> 00:02:39,193
Huh?

60
00:02:39,228 --> 00:02:41,161
Aah!Look what came into headquarters

61
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:44,060
this evening. I couldn't wait
to just pop on over

62
00:02:44,094 --> 00:02:45,544
to come
and deliver it to you.

63
00:02:45,579 --> 00:02:46,994
I heard screaming.
What's going on?

64
00:02:47,028 --> 00:02:50,480
Hi, Mary. Just having
a little chat with your boy.

65
00:02:50,515 --> 00:02:53,725
Oh, oh, it's just Eugene.
It's just Eugene, the mail guy!

66
00:02:53,759 --> 00:02:55,623
[ Door shuts ]Good luck, pal!

67
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,282
That's one
dedicated mailman.

68
00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:03,183
Don't spit.

69
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,253
"Dear Clarence."

70
00:03:04,287 --> 00:03:07,566
-Oh, my gosh, Jeff. I won!
-No, Clarence.

71
00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:09,603
"You are a finalist
in our contest.

72
00:03:09,637 --> 00:03:11,121
You and your family
are invited

73
00:03:11,156 --> 00:03:15,367
to a special reception dinner
at the Shamada Inn,

74
00:03:15,402 --> 00:03:18,267
where the grand prize winner
will be announced."

75
00:03:18,301 --> 00:03:22,132
[ Gasps ]
A formal reception at a hotel?

76
00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:24,514
Psh, I don't care
about that.

77
00:03:24,549 --> 00:03:26,067
You better start caring.

78
00:03:26,102 --> 00:03:27,724
Have you ever heard
the phrase,

79
00:03:27,759 --> 00:03:29,347
"Winner, winner,
chicken dinner"?

80
00:03:29,381 --> 00:03:32,695
Well, this fancy reception
is the chicken dinner,

81
00:03:32,729 --> 00:03:34,455
and they're going
to be judging you

82
00:03:34,490 --> 00:03:36,871
to make sure
you don't screw up.

83
00:03:36,906 --> 00:03:38,873
And you're going
to need to be perfect,

84
00:03:38,908 --> 00:03:40,737
or they're not going
to let you win.

85
00:03:40,772 --> 00:03:43,292
Oh, no. I don't know
how to do fancy.

86
00:03:43,326 --> 00:03:44,638
Jeff, will you help me?

87
00:03:44,672 --> 00:03:46,053
Okay.

88
00:03:46,087 --> 00:03:48,055
[ Snorting ]

89
00:03:48,089 --> 00:03:50,230
It's not going to be easy.

90
00:03:53,578 --> 00:03:55,442
This baby's got every rule
a guy needs

91
00:03:55,476 --> 00:03:57,133
to make a great impression.

92
00:03:57,167 --> 00:03:58,928
♪♪

93
00:03:58,962 --> 00:04:01,655
-[ Giggles ]
-Clarence, focus.

94
00:04:01,689 --> 00:04:04,140
-They look silly.
-They look cultured.

95
00:04:04,174 --> 00:04:07,005
Now stop messing
around and study.

96
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:11,285
♪♪

97
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:15,945
"Chapter 1. Never run,
even if excited or frightened.

98
00:04:15,979 --> 00:04:19,293
A swift foot is
the mark of a peasant."

99
00:04:19,328 --> 00:04:21,088
Like a bird?

100
00:04:21,122 --> 00:04:23,435
"A gentleman must bow
before a lady

101
00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:26,473
and wink twice
if she passes to the left."

102
00:04:26,507 --> 00:04:27,922
Well, that makes sense.

103
00:04:27,957 --> 00:04:29,752
"Never finish your mutton

104
00:04:29,786 --> 00:04:33,307
before the second eldest son
of your host."

105
00:04:33,342 --> 00:04:35,102
Jeff, can I study later?

106
00:04:35,136 --> 00:04:37,000
-I'm hungry.
-Nope.

107
00:04:37,035 --> 00:04:40,038
Come on. I think
I'm passing out over here.

108
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:42,834
Fine, but this is
a working dinner.

109
00:04:42,868 --> 00:04:46,320
Welcome to the Shamada
banquet hall.

110
00:04:46,355 --> 00:04:47,459
No, Clarence.

111
00:04:47,494 --> 00:04:50,324
Fancy people take their time
with their drinks.

112
00:04:50,359 --> 00:04:52,602
First, give your glass
a little twirl.

113
00:04:52,637 --> 00:04:56,641
Then you sniff it, and then
you take a very small sip.

114
00:04:56,675 --> 00:04:59,299
All right. Twirl.

115
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,610
[ Sniffs ]

116
00:05:00,645 --> 00:05:03,682
♪♪

117
00:05:03,717 --> 00:05:05,788
-The main course.
-Ooh.

118
00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:07,962
I only had Ruff Riders
Chicken to work with.

119
00:05:07,997 --> 00:05:10,482
Just pretend it's
finely cooked goose.

120
00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:14,452
Do you think that fancy people
ever try to eat like this?

121
00:05:14,486 --> 00:05:16,074
[ Giggles ]

122
00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:17,075
Ow!

123
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:19,215
You eat goose
with a fork, Clarence.

124
00:05:19,249 --> 00:05:21,631
Now, which fork
do you use?

125
00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:22,805
Hmm.

126
00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:25,048
-Aah!
-That fork's for salad.

127
00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:27,637
Mm.

128
00:05:27,672 --> 00:05:29,501
-Aah!
-That's a bread fork.

129
00:05:29,536 --> 00:05:31,365
I'm hungry.

130
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:35,990
♪♪

131
00:05:36,025 --> 00:05:39,580
No elbows on the table.

132
00:05:39,615 --> 00:05:41,755
You're opening
your mouth too wide!

133
00:05:41,789 --> 00:05:43,722
You're gripping
your fork wrong!

134
00:05:43,757 --> 00:05:45,483
Ow.
[ Grunting ]

135
00:05:45,517 --> 00:05:48,037
♪♪

136
00:05:48,071 --> 00:05:50,936
Uh, Jeff, my body stings.

137
00:05:50,971 --> 00:05:52,386
I think
I'm going to go home.

138
00:05:52,421 --> 00:05:53,870
Sorry I'm being
so hard on you,

139
00:05:53,905 --> 00:05:55,493
but your reception
dinner is tomorrow.

140
00:05:55,527 --> 00:05:56,873
Here, study tonight,

141
00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:58,703
and I'll quiz you
first thing in the morning.

142
00:05:58,737 --> 00:06:00,981
Okay.

143
00:06:01,015 --> 00:06:03,777
Oh, and make sure to work
on that posture, Clarence.

144
00:06:05,434 --> 00:06:07,850
Game day, Clarence,
and you've only got -- Clarence!

145
00:06:07,884 --> 00:06:10,024
[ Pig squeals]

146
00:06:10,059 --> 00:06:12,026
Hey, Jeff.
I was studying,

147
00:06:12,061 --> 00:06:13,683
but then I got really hot,

148
00:06:13,718 --> 00:06:15,064
and I needed to cool down.

149
00:06:15,098 --> 00:06:17,377
So you rolled around
in the mud?

150
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,413
Mm-hmm. Like a pig.

151
00:06:19,448 --> 00:06:22,036
[ Snorting ]

152
00:06:22,071 --> 00:06:23,555
We got to get you cleaned up.
Don't worry.

153
00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:25,902
I'll be there to instruct you
on what to do.

154
00:06:25,937 --> 00:06:28,042
But I know how to shower.

155
00:06:28,077 --> 00:06:30,113
[ Whispering ]
Do you?

156
00:06:30,148 --> 00:06:32,530
Okay. Now wash your face
for at least 8 minutes,

157
00:06:32,564 --> 00:06:34,877
and make sure to clean
behind your ears.

158
00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:36,603
Clean behind my what?

159
00:06:36,637 --> 00:06:38,328
Clarence? It's been 3 hours.

160
00:06:38,363 --> 00:06:40,710
I got to get ready
for your dinner, too, you know.

161
00:06:40,745 --> 00:06:43,092
Huh? Jeff?

162
00:06:43,126 --> 00:06:44,990
Oh, there you are.
[ Chuckles ]

163
00:06:45,025 --> 00:06:46,820
You excited for tonight?

164
00:06:46,854 --> 00:06:48,338
Mm...

165
00:06:48,373 --> 00:06:50,893
-What's the matter, hon?
-Clarence, wardrobe!

166
00:06:50,927 --> 00:06:52,964
Mm, coming!

167
00:06:52,998 --> 00:06:55,415
Don't run, peasant!
Walk.

168
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,451
Good.

169
00:06:57,486 --> 00:06:59,488
Hmm.
What do we got here?

170
00:07:02,698 --> 00:07:04,147
There we go.

171
00:07:06,771 --> 00:07:09,187
-[ Panting ]
-Uh, Jeff?

172
00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,741
I wasn't formally invited.
I'll just wait here.

173
00:07:11,776 --> 00:07:14,813
But don't worry. J. Proper
will guide you through it all.

174
00:07:14,848 --> 00:07:17,437
Okay.
Knock yourself out.

175
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,162
Hello, Jeff.

176
00:07:19,197 --> 00:07:22,476
[ Indistinct conversations ]

177
00:07:22,511 --> 00:07:25,479
Mayor: I think that, too!
We have so much in common.

178
00:07:25,514 --> 00:07:27,205
[ Walkie-talkie beeps ]Jeff: Remember, you have to kiss

179
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,620
the ceremony leader's ring.

180
00:07:28,655 --> 00:07:30,933
-Yeah, they make nice shapes.
-Oh, Clarence!

181
00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:32,659
Hey, hey, let me
introduce to you --

182
00:07:32,693 --> 00:07:35,006
Hi.

183
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,490
[ Ting! Ting! ]

184
00:07:36,525 --> 00:07:37,767
-Mwah.
-What the...

185
00:07:37,802 --> 00:07:39,769
Uh, okay, okay, Clarence.
[ Chuckles ]

186
00:07:39,804 --> 00:07:43,980
W-Why don't you take a seat
with the other contestants, huh?

187
00:07:44,015 --> 00:07:45,326
Hi, Clarence.

188
00:07:45,361 --> 00:07:48,951
-You look pretty.
-Mm...

189
00:07:48,985 --> 00:07:51,125
What's your story about?[ Walkie-talkie beeps ]

190
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,300
Jeff, Percy just
asked me a question.

191
00:07:53,334 --> 00:07:57,856
Don't answer! Wait until
all the ladies speak first.

192
00:07:57,891 --> 00:07:59,651
Are you mad at me?

193
00:07:59,686 --> 00:08:01,619
[ Straining ]

194
00:08:01,653 --> 00:08:03,172
[ Sneezes ]

195
00:08:03,206 --> 00:08:06,486
Yes, finally!
Now, to answer your, uh --

196
00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:16,806
-[ Sniffs ]
-Give me the scoop.

197
00:08:16,841 --> 00:08:19,257
-Fish.
-Okay. Let's see.

198
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:23,192
"Before eating,
you must debone the fish."

199
00:08:23,226 --> 00:08:25,090
I'm not seeing
any bones here.

200
00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:27,265
Keep searching.
They're in there.

201
00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:29,163
[ Sighing ] Oh.[ Feedback ]

202
00:08:29,198 --> 00:08:32,063
Thank you all for coming
to this special event.

203
00:08:32,097 --> 00:08:34,444
In a moment, each finalist
will come up

204
00:08:34,479 --> 00:08:36,585
and read an excerpt
from their submission.

205
00:08:36,619 --> 00:08:39,933
Famous political cartoonist
Frida A. Ra

206
00:08:39,967 --> 00:08:41,900
has drawn up
a sample illustration

207
00:08:41,935 --> 00:08:43,764
for each of the stories.[ Applause ]

208
00:08:43,799 --> 00:08:46,664
First up, we have Percy Dahmer

209
00:08:46,698 --> 00:08:50,564
and his story,
"Tales of Mardrynia II:

210
00:08:50,599 --> 00:08:52,359
A New Day."

211
00:08:52,393 --> 00:08:56,363
After being tied up in a scary
rope prison for many years,

212
00:08:56,397 --> 00:08:57,847
and then when the magical...[ Walkie-talkie beeps ]

213
00:08:57,882 --> 00:09:00,954
Jeff, I'm -- I'm going to have
to go on stage soon.

214
00:09:00,988 --> 00:09:03,612
Stage? I forgot
to prepare your speech!

215
00:09:03,646 --> 00:09:05,061
-Write this down.
-Okay.

216
00:09:05,096 --> 00:09:06,580
-Thank everyone in the room --
-Thank everyone.

217
00:09:06,615 --> 00:09:09,203
Count to 10 silently...Mm-hmm. Okay. Count to 10. Yeah.

218
00:09:09,238 --> 00:09:10,688
Compliment
the other contestants.

219
00:09:10,722 --> 00:09:13,104
Slow down, Jeff. Aah!

220
00:09:13,138 --> 00:09:15,693
And that is when
they finally kissed!

221
00:09:15,727 --> 00:09:18,040
Mwah! Mwah!

222
00:09:18,074 --> 00:09:19,559
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!

223
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:21,319
-Mwah, mwah, mwah --
-Th-Th-Thank you, Coco,

224
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:25,150
for a very explicit
account of your story.

225
00:09:25,185 --> 00:09:27,705
Up next is Clarence!

226
00:09:27,739 --> 00:09:28,740
All right!

227
00:09:28,775 --> 00:09:30,570
Um, has anyone seen Clarence?

228
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:33,158
Before you stare
anyone in the eye...

229
00:09:33,193 --> 00:09:34,746
Wait.
What was that last one?

230
00:09:34,781 --> 00:09:36,506
-Clarence?
-What the...

231
00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:38,716
-Where did that guy go?
-Clarence!

232
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:41,063
-I'm up.
-Clarence, wait!

233
00:09:41,097 --> 00:09:42,616
[ Squeak! ]

234
00:09:42,651 --> 00:09:43,893
[ Grunts ]

235
00:09:43,928 --> 00:09:45,826
[ Panting ]

236
00:09:45,861 --> 00:09:48,657
♪♪

237
00:09:48,691 --> 00:09:49,727
Mm...

238
00:09:49,761 --> 00:09:51,763
[ All whispering indistinctly ]

239
00:09:51,798 --> 00:09:53,247
I can't do this!

240
00:09:53,282 --> 00:09:55,802
I'm not a fancy, clean boy.

241
00:09:55,836 --> 00:09:58,598
All I wanted was for my story
to get published

242
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:01,083
so kids could read it
to their moms and their dads

243
00:10:01,117 --> 00:10:02,740
and their dogs.

244
00:10:02,774 --> 00:10:04,742
This ketchup boy is right!

245
00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:08,849
A good story is good
because it's good.

246
00:10:08,884 --> 00:10:11,749
Thatboy is the type of child

247
00:10:11,783 --> 00:10:14,027
I started this contest for.

248
00:10:14,061 --> 00:10:16,132
[ Chuckles awkwardly ]
Security!

249
00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:17,478
[ Chomping, snorting ]

250
00:10:17,513 --> 00:10:19,826
Doesn't need
your fancy suits or this --

251
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:22,483
I-I don't know
who that man is.

252
00:10:22,518 --> 00:10:24,934
Let's just wrap this up,
then, shall we?

253
00:10:24,969 --> 00:10:27,005
Congratulations, Clarence!

254
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,111
Frida has selected you
as the winner!

255
00:10:29,145 --> 00:10:32,701
Copies of your story will be
available at the local library.

256
00:10:32,735 --> 00:10:35,151
-Mom, I did it!
-Congrats, sweetie!

257
00:10:35,186 --> 00:10:36,636
-[ Giggling ]
-Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah!

258
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,362
This is for all the moms
and dads out there!

259
00:10:39,397 --> 00:10:42,400
-It's for you!
-Good job.

260
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:46,576
"The poor skeleton's
bone rattling was so loud

261
00:10:46,611 --> 00:10:51,374
that he woke up all the moles
living underground.

262
00:10:51,409 --> 00:10:54,239
'So the skeleton has to leave?'

263
00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:57,380
'Yes,' said the president.
'His bone...'"

264
00:10:57,415 --> 00:11:00,418
Wow. It really is
a great story.

265
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:03,628
It's probably the best thing
I ever done in my life.

266
00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:06,424
♪ Early to bed

267
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,081
♪♪

268
00:11:08,115 --> 00:11:10,221
♪ Early to rise

269
00:11:10,255 --> 00:11:11,843
♪♪

270
00:11:11,878 --> 00:11:14,190
♪ Pickin' my nose