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[REMOTE CLICKS]

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[♪♪♪]

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♪ I don't care what you say! ♪

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♪ I'm gonna do

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What I want all day! ♪

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♪ I'm the king of the world!

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I'm the king of the world! ♪

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♪ I'm the king of the world!

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I'm the king of the world! ♪

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♪ I'm the king of the world!

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I'm the king of the world! ♪

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[♪♪♪]

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'Kay. I'm gonna play level 4

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Thundragon with plus-2 Fire.

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My Divorcion

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has Lightning power

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when I use it

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with Wizard Water card.

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CLARENCE:

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My guy chops

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through your guy

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'cause he has a chainsaw

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and yours is wood.

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[IMITATES CHAINSAW BUZZING]

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Uh...

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Thanks for the fun, guys!

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See you later!

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BELSON:

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"Wah! I'm in jail for a crime

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I didn't commit."

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Come on. If you can't do

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the time, why do the crime?

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He shouldn't have stolen.

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Just get a job and earn it

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like my dad did.

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BOTH [CHANTING]:

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Go, Belson! Go, Belson!

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It's your birthday!

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Whazzup?

40
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,520
Okay. That was a very, uh,

41
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practical point of view.

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Um. Okay. Clarence, you're next.

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First of all, sincerely happy

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birthday to you, Belson.

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You can have my bag of hair

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if you want.

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Anyway, I thought this book

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was so great.

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I started reading it,

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and he was in jail,

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and I thought, "What if

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the jail was made out of cake

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or something and he could eat

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through the bars and get out?"

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Yeah. Like, and, what if?

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Hey, thank you, Clarence.

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Now, did anyone

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actually read the book?

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[TEACHER CHUCKLES]

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I really think everyone

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liked my cake-jail idea.

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Wasn't it so funny?

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[LAUGHS]

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Well, I mean, I loved it.

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It was pretty funny,

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but have you thought about

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not staying stuff like that?

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I don't think everyone can

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relate to your sense of humor.

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Yeah, but what about a pie jail?

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What if the bars are made

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of chocolate in the jail?

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Then you could eat

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right through them.

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See? That's exactly

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what I'm talking about.

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You can't just spout words

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at people and hope they stick.

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Maybe you should look at people

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who are good conversationalists

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and try to copy what they do.

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Okay, Jeff. I hear you.

83
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But what about a ice-cream cat?

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Meow! Meow!

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Don't eat me! Meow!

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I'd probably eat him.

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Don't eat him!

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Just give it some thought,

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okay?

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Okay.

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[BELL RINGS]

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[GASPS]

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The bell's ringing!

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Ladies and gentlemen

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of the jury, I object.

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Enjoy a cup of joe

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with contemporary artist--

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[TV CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]

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Okay, Jeff said I got to find

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a good conversationalist.

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That's when

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her tooth fell out!

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[LAUGHTER]

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Oh, wow.

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That guy's really good.

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Welcome to

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The Clarence Show.

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what do you want to talk about,

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Mr. Bacon Chips?

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"Talking makes me nervous.

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Blah!"

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[RIM SHOT]

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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

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Nobody actually laughed.

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Whoa.

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What's he doing

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with that horn?

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Blah, blah, blah, blah.

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Rah-blah, blah, blah.

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[HORN HONKS]

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Blah.

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[HORN HONKS]

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Oh, he's honking it.

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[GIGGLES]

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[HORNS HONKING]

126
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[LAUGHING]

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[LAUGHING]

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[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

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[HORN HONKS LOUDLY]

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[SIREN WAILS]

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[LAUGHS]

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That horn is a killer.

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I wish I had one. Then I could

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just honk instead of talk.

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[GASPS]

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I just had the biggest i--

137
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One horn, please.

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Oh. Is this for your bike?

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Nope.

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It's for my conversation skills.

141
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Oh.

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That's just wonderful.

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[BEEPS]

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[BELL JINGLES]

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Tee-hee-hee!

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[HORN HONKING]

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[GASPS]

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[GEESE HONKING]

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ALL:

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I pledge allegiance to the fla--

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[HORN HONKS]

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[LAUGHTER]

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ALL:

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--of the United States

155
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of America.

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[HORN HONKS]

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[GIGGLES]

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And to the republic

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for which it--

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[HORN HONKS]

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[LAUGHTER]

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One nation under God--

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[HORN HONKS]

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[LAUGHTER]

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--indivisible, with liberty

166
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and justice--

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[HORN HONKS]

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[LAUGHTER]

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TEACHER:

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Okay, okay. Come on.

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[FEEDBACK SQUEALS]

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PRINCIPAL:

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Good morning, students.

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This is your principal.

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Just a reminder that

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the winners of this year's

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"Let's Diss Disease!" raffle

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will be announced tomorrow.

179
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,400
Good luck on winning

180
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,400
the grand prize:

181
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Two tickets to Squirty's

182
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,880
Moist Mountain Water Park.

183
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:11,280
And now today's poem:

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"A Fall Day" by Mrs. Shoop.

185
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The night is crisp.

186
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Huh?

187
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The day is done.

188
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Listen to the swaying leaves

189
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as they go...

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[HORN HONKING]

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[LAUGHTER]

192
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Oh, Clarence,

193
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what a witty deconstruction.

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[♪♪♪]

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I heard the math quiz

196
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got canceled.

197
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[GIGGLES]

198
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Yeah?

199
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,800
Good thing too.

200
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I didn't study much.

201
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[STIFLED LAUGHTER]

202
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I'll see you guys later.

203
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Whoa!

204
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[HORN HONKS]

205
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[LAUGHTER]

206
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:43,920
[HORN HONKS]

207
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,600
[HORN HONKS]

208
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,600
He-he-he! Somebody farted!

209
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:51,960
[HORN HONKS]

210
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:54,440
Hot Dog Police 2?

211
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,440
It's the same

212
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,440
as the first one.

213
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,800
Should have called it

214
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,800
Hot Dog Police 1 Again.

215
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[HORN HONKS]

216
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,640
[BOTH LAUGH]

217
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:02,760
Not funny.

218
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,720
Melanie,

219
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,720
we've been working together

220
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,560
for a couple months now, and

221
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,560
I-I think it's time that you--

222
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[HORN HONKS]

223
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,120
Oh! Oh! Oh!

224
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Where'd it go?

225
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It's around here somewhere.

226
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,560
[LAUGHTER]

227
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,160
Oh.

228
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,160
[HORN HONKS]

229
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,040
[HORN HONKS]

230
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,040
[HORN HONKS]

231
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,680
[HORN HONKS]

232
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,000
[HORN HONKS]

233
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,960
[BOTH LAUGH]

234
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,200
Clarence, the horn is a--

235
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,200
[HORN HONKS]

236
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,400
--gimmick.

237
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,400
At first, you were just--

238
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,440
[HORN HONKS]

239
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,440
--peppering it in, but now--

240
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,600
[HORN HONKS]

241
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,600
--you're doing it all the time.

242
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,000
People may like it now--

243
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,000
[HORN HONKS]

244
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,400
--but they'll get tired of it

245
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,400
very quickly.

246
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:39,880
[HORN HONKING]

247
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,800
Can you just stop honking?

248
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,560
[HORN HONKING]

249
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,040
[BOTH LAUGHING]

250
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,600
[HONKING CONTINUES]

251
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,600
Oh, this'll never get old!

252
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,680
[SNORING]

253
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,680
[HORN HONKING RHYTHMICALLY]

254
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,120
[GROANS]

255
00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,280
[GEESE HONKING]

256
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,080
Gonna be another

257
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,080
honk-diculous day.

258
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,640
PRINCIPAL:

259
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,640
...chocolate milk,

260
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,640
and pickle spears.

261
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,360
And now the moment

262
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,360
we've all been waiting for:

263
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,960
the "Let's Diss Disease!"

264
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,960
raffle winners.

265
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,320
[GIRLS MURMURING]

266
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,280
The grand prize winner

267
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,280
of the tickets

268
00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:15,680
to Squirty's Moist Mountain

269
00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:15,680
Water Park is number...

270
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[HORN HONKING]

271
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,840
[ALL GRUMBLING]

272
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,280
Get your prize now, or we're

273
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,280
giving it to someone else.

274
00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:24,640
We've been waiting all week!

275
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:26,480
Just a little honk humor.

276
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:26,480
Come on.

277
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,360
[ALL GROAN]

278
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,280
[♪♪♪]

279
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Careful.

280
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,040
Care--

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00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,040
[HORN HONKS]

282
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,800
[SCREAMS]

283
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,800
Oh, whoa!

284
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,080
[ALARM BLARING]

285
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:43,160
It was the horn--

286
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:43,160
The horn!

287
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,200
It was the horn!

288
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Not funny.

289
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,000
And it barely relates to what

290
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,000
we're talking about.

291
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[♪♪♪]

292
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,160
[HORN HONKS]

293
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,200
No! No! Stay back!

294
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,200
Stay back!

295
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,320
I've got a horn,

296
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,320
and I know how to use it!

297
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,320
We just want to help you,

298
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,320
Clarence.

299
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,800
Put the horn down.

300
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,160
Why don't we take it from him?

301
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,160
It's just a horn.

302
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:05,560
No!

303
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:05,560
[HORN HONKS]

304
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,400
Never!

305
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,400
[HORN HONKS]

306
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:08,680
[HORN HONKING]

307
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,040
Eh, he'll be fine.

308
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,680
Yes, he will, because we're

309
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,680
gonna make him fine.

310
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,960
What's in here? A new horn?

311
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,960
No.

312
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,120
People who love you.

313
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,120
I don't love him.

314
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,160
Yes, you do.

315
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,160
We all do.

316
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,160
This is a place of love.

317
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,800
[GROANS]

318
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,800
You may go ahead, Percy.

319
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,360
Okay.

320
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,360
At first,

321
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,360
you didn't have a horn,

322
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,680
but now you have a horn, and...

323
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,720
[CRYING]

324
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,120
[HORN HONKS]

325
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,240
No!

326
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,200
Clarence, that horn is, like,

327
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,200
super unbecoming of you.

328
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,400
It mega limits

329
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,400
your vocabulary.

330
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,920
You have two choices.

331
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,400
You can get rid of the horn

332
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,400
and rejoin society,

333
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,640
or you can keep the horn--

334
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,640
Choice number two.

335
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,080
I'm keeping it.

336
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,080
Thanks! Bye!

337
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,680
No, wait! I was gonna say,

338
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,680
"but at what cost?"

339
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,440
But at what cost?

340
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,960
Yeah! At what cost?

341
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,640
Eat up, little baby bird.

342
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:04,040
[CHOMPING, THEN SPITS]

343
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,600
[SIGHS]

344
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,600
I just wish they knew you

345
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,600
like I do, Hornsby.

346
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,080
[HORN HONKS]

347
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,080
No, that's the bacon talking.

348
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,560
You're not going anywhere.

349
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,520
[HORN HONKS]

350
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,520
[CRYING]

351
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:16,040
You're wrong!

352
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:16,040
You are good for me!

353
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,920
[HORN HONKS]

354
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,920
No, Hornsby!

355
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,160
I won't let you go!

356
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,160
[HORN HONKS]

357
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,160
When you put it that way,

358
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,760
I guess you make a lot of sense.

359
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,480
["TAPS" PLAYING]

360
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,480
Goodbye, old friend.

361
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,800
[SQUEAKS]

362
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,120
[TOILET FLUSHES]

363
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,080
[HORN HONKS WEAKLY]

364
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,400
Hornsby, I was wrong!

365
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,400
Don't go! Hold my hand!

366
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,560
What's going on?

367
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,560
Hornsby fell in!

368
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:40,920
Oh, no!

369
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,360
Come back!

370
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:44,880
Don't worry, buddy!

371
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,160
Aah! Aah! Come on!

372
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,760
[GRUNTING]

373
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,280
[SOBBING]

374
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,120
Don't you go dying on me!

375
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,760
[CAWING]

376
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,240
[HORN HONKS]

377
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,240
Shh! Be quiet.

378
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:56,400
Everyone hates you.

379
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,120
Just stay in the backpack, okay?

380
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,920
[♪♪♪]

381
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:04,440
Hey, Clarence, I have

382
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:04,440
a science project for you!

383
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,760
[HORN HONKS]

384
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,760
This is for Squirty's!

385
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:07,880
[HORN HONKS]

386
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,200
[HORNS HONKING]

387
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,280
How do you like the horn now?

388
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,280
[ALL SHOUTING]

389
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:15,040
If this doesn't break him,

390
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:15,040
nothing will.

391
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,480
[HORNS HONKING]

392
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,280
[LAUGHTER]

393
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,880
He's still having fun?

394
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,880
Ha! Told ya.

395
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,720
[HORNS HONK]

396
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,160
[HORNS HONKING MELODICALLY]

397
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,080
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]

398
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,480
[ALL GRUMBLING]

399
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:12,720
[HORN SQUEAKS]

400
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,760
That was awesome!

401
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,760
Even that weird kid

402
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,280
who doesn't talk was playing

403
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,280
a horn! There he is.

404
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,680
You know what, Clarence?

405
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,160
I never thought I'd say this,

406
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,040
but I'm gonna miss

407
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,040
that horn of yours.

408
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,440
Don't shed a tear

409
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,440
for Hornsby, guys.

410
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,440
He's in a much better place now,

411
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,440
and so am I,

412
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,800
because I learned

413
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,800
my daily moral lesson.

414
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,000
Being true to yourself

415
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,000
and not letting anyone

416
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,120
tell you who you are

417
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,120
or what you should do

418
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,200
is the only way to forge

419
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,200
true friendships?

420
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,480
Nope. I learned

421
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,480
that when you lose your horn,

422
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:39,760
you buy the whistle.

423
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:40,880
[SLIDE WHISTLE PLAYING]

424
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,040
[LAUGHS]

425
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,160
[ALL GRUMBLING]

426
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:44,720
Gimme that!

427
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:44,720
[SLIDE WHISTLE PLAYS]

428
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,760
♪ Early to bed ♪

429
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,720
♪ Early to rise ♪

430
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,400
♪ Picking my nose ♪