1 00:00:17,209 --> 00:00:18,460 What are you playing? Harry Potter ? 2 00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:19,460 BOTH: Dune . 3 00:00:20,626 --> 00:00:22,793 I'm just meeting this other mom. 4 00:00:23,043 --> 00:00:25,460 She seems like she's really on top of things. 5 00:00:26,002 --> 00:00:29,209 Is that the asshole director from Into the Canyon? 6 00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:30,960 Do you want children? 7 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,793 I finally found something I'm good at! 8 00:00:33,126 --> 00:00:34,668 I wanna do it with you! 9 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:37,126 The door's closed for me, it's not closed for you. 10 00:00:40,168 --> 00:00:41,418 BRETT: Shit. I literally can't go anywhere. 11 00:00:41,418 --> 00:00:42,501 JENNY: You can't go anywhere. 12 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,209 I could give you that electricity. 13 00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:46,168 JENNY: If you wanna stay, you can stay. 14 00:00:54,168 --> 00:00:57,251 Brett: Yeah, I had a really good time too, Natalie. 15 00:00:57,251 --> 00:00:59,668 Yeah, um... 16 00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,877 You... 17 00:01:01,877 --> 00:01:04,043 You do want to see me again? 18 00:01:04,043 --> 00:01:05,043 I... 19 00:01:05,043 --> 00:01:07,918 Well, how bad do you want it, Natalie? 20 00:01:07,918 --> 00:01:11,168 'Cause... if you want it, you're just gonna 21 00:01:11,168 --> 00:01:12,710 have to come and get it, baby. (door opens) 22 00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:14,168 (Alex scatting) Oh! 23 00:01:14,168 --> 00:01:15,293 Oh! 24 00:01:15,293 --> 00:01:17,668 Lookin' good, dawg! 25 00:01:17,668 --> 00:01:19,835 (laughs) 26 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:22,501 You okay? 27 00:01:22,501 --> 00:01:26,043 Something happened. 28 00:01:26,043 --> 00:01:28,793 Look, and to be clear, it was a total accident. 29 00:01:28,793 --> 00:01:30,960 She was like, "Come into my bedroom." 30 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,543 And I was like, "Well, of course I'm not gonna go into your bedroom." 31 00:01:33,543 --> 00:01:35,376 And so, as I was walking down the hall, 32 00:01:35,376 --> 00:01:36,501 I kept saying that. 33 00:01:36,501 --> 00:01:37,626 But I went in, 34 00:01:37,626 --> 00:01:39,460 and I woke up 35 00:01:39,460 --> 00:01:42,376 feeling incredibly guilty, and-- and that was there. 36 00:01:42,376 --> 00:01:45,835 And then, I was like... 37 00:01:45,835 --> 00:01:48,209 "Hold on a second. 38 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:53,126 "You... had an incredible evening with this girl"-- 39 00:01:53,126 --> 00:01:54,960 who is amazing, by the way-- 40 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,710 "and you guys were 41 00:01:56,710 --> 00:02:00,002 "just light and fun, and it was natural, 42 00:02:00,002 --> 00:02:02,418 and you were joking, and kissing, and making out." 43 00:02:02,418 --> 00:02:05,543 And-- and the-- and the new body parts 44 00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:07,751 were all over the place, and we were exploring, 45 00:02:07,751 --> 00:02:11,293 and I was, like, 14, and it was just... 46 00:02:11,293 --> 00:02:13,668 so incredible, 47 00:02:13,668 --> 00:02:14,793 and I had so much fun, 48 00:02:14,793 --> 00:02:16,501 and I would never tell this to anybody else 49 00:02:16,501 --> 00:02:19,084 'cause... but, like... 50 00:02:19,084 --> 00:02:21,084 it's kind of fucking me up. 51 00:02:21,084 --> 00:02:23,293 At some point, do you think you guys are gonna talk 52 00:02:23,293 --> 00:02:25,751 so I can stop being the translator? 53 00:02:25,751 --> 00:02:29,626 I've been trying so hard to talk to him, 54 00:02:29,626 --> 00:02:31,543 but you know. 55 00:02:31,543 --> 00:02:35,293 He's-- he's just still so angry. 56 00:02:35,293 --> 00:02:37,626 Yeah. 57 00:02:37,626 --> 00:02:38,877 Of course he is. 58 00:02:38,877 --> 00:02:41,043 'Cause look-- look at his life right now. Mm-hmm. 59 00:02:41,043 --> 00:02:43,501 He only has the kids half the time, he's, like, 60 00:02:43,501 --> 00:02:48,835 dorming with his best friend, doing his "Dune" puppet show, 61 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,293 whatever that fucking thing is. 62 00:02:50,293 --> 00:02:51,710 He's, like, in heaven. 63 00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:53,918 It's the hall pass to end all hall passes. 64 00:02:56,835 --> 00:02:58,835 I'd stay angry too if I were him. 65 00:03:03,293 --> 00:03:05,376 This is fucking bullshit! 66 00:03:05,376 --> 00:03:07,460 Okay? What? What is? 67 00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:08,460 Do you know what it's called 68 00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:10,084 when you get pregnant after 35? 69 00:03:10,084 --> 00:03:12,251 A geriatric pregnancy. 70 00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:13,835 And I'm not kidding. 71 00:03:15,168 --> 00:03:18,626 So, I have a geriatric vagina? 72 00:03:18,626 --> 00:03:20,168 Geri-ina? 73 00:03:20,168 --> 00:03:21,668 (laughs) 74 00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:24,126 Apparently, I don't have any eggs left! 75 00:03:24,126 --> 00:03:25,918 You don't know-- The ones I have left 76 00:03:25,918 --> 00:03:28,460 are all like... (groans) Well, you-- 77 00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:30,002 (in decrepit voice) Sonny boy, 78 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,293 come over here! Okay. 79 00:03:32,293 --> 00:03:34,877 Don't do that outside of this sofa. 80 00:03:36,084 --> 00:03:39,585 I know that I don't have the best history in terms of, 81 00:03:39,585 --> 00:03:41,376 you know, my taste in men, 82 00:03:41,376 --> 00:03:43,585 but I am finally ready. 83 00:03:43,585 --> 00:03:47,334 I'm ready to find someone who's kind 84 00:03:47,334 --> 00:03:48,918 and who just wants to have kids 85 00:03:48,918 --> 00:03:51,793 and have a nice life. I know, I know. 86 00:03:52,918 --> 00:03:54,209 Like him. Oh! 87 00:03:54,209 --> 00:03:56,460 (both laugh) 88 00:03:56,460 --> 00:03:58,543 Ha! 89 00:03:58,543 --> 00:04:00,293 It's enough to make me jump off a bridge. 90 00:04:00,293 --> 00:04:01,418 But you do know that 91 00:04:01,418 --> 00:04:03,460 this is not the place you should be looking. 92 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:04,835 What's the alternative? 93 00:04:04,835 --> 00:04:06,293 I... (phone rings) 94 00:04:06,293 --> 00:04:08,168 What do you suggest? 95 00:04:09,334 --> 00:04:11,043 Hey, Tracy. 96 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,293 I mean, really? This is the picture he chose? 97 00:04:13,293 --> 00:04:16,501 This is the picture you chose to send in? Nope. Today? Right now? 98 00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:18,960 I will-- I'll be there in a minute, yeah. 99 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,793 (sighs) What happened? 100 00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:23,626 Ugh. It's so weird. What? 101 00:04:23,626 --> 00:04:24,877 No, there's just 102 00:04:24,877 --> 00:04:27,209 a charter school meeting at Bon Vivant. 103 00:04:27,209 --> 00:04:28,501 Did you forget? 104 00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:31,418 No, I... I didn't set it up. 105 00:04:38,043 --> 00:04:39,710 Anna: Guys, this was so great. 106 00:04:39,710 --> 00:04:41,376 Thank you all so much. 107 00:04:41,376 --> 00:04:42,835 We are really getting shit done. 108 00:04:42,835 --> 00:04:44,168 I am so excited. 109 00:04:44,168 --> 00:04:46,043 Michelle! Hi! 110 00:04:48,251 --> 00:04:49,543 How are you, sweetheart? 111 00:04:49,543 --> 00:04:51,251 Hey, Anna. Um... Mm! 112 00:04:51,251 --> 00:04:52,960 Where have you been? 113 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,543 What? Oh, I mean, 114 00:04:54,543 --> 00:04:56,168 the meeting started at 8:00. 115 00:04:56,168 --> 00:04:58,084 What meeting is this? 116 00:04:58,084 --> 00:05:00,918 The meeting about the big fundraiser and... 117 00:05:00,918 --> 00:05:02,710 I e-mailed you about it on Tuesday. 118 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:04,585 No, I didn't get an e-mail. 119 00:05:04,585 --> 00:05:05,585 What? 120 00:05:14,084 --> 00:05:15,209 Excuse me. 121 00:05:16,835 --> 00:05:19,251 Oh. 122 00:05:19,251 --> 00:05:20,668 You're, like, 12. 123 00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:23,002 Anna: I'm sure it went to your spam with all the recipients. 124 00:05:23,002 --> 00:05:25,751 But you really didn't miss anything. You know, we just... 125 00:05:25,751 --> 00:05:27,084 We talked about the fundraiser, 126 00:05:27,084 --> 00:05:28,751 which I'm gonna host at my house. 127 00:05:28,751 --> 00:05:30,585 I'm sure I'm leaving stuff out, but you know what? 128 00:05:30,585 --> 00:05:31,751 If can fill you in later. 129 00:05:31,751 --> 00:05:35,084 I am off to Pilates, okay? Oh. 130 00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:36,960 Uh-- Mm! Oh, my gosh! 131 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,501 Do you just bathe in coconut oil? 132 00:05:38,501 --> 00:05:39,626 You're like velvet. 133 00:05:39,626 --> 00:05:41,168 Call you. 134 00:05:46,751 --> 00:05:48,960 That's your new friend? 135 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,585 Yeah. 136 00:05:50,585 --> 00:05:52,585 I sure don't like her. 137 00:05:55,626 --> 00:05:57,710 Why are you being so cagey? I'm not being cagey. 138 00:05:57,710 --> 00:05:59,668 Well, you're, like, not telling me where we're going. 139 00:05:59,668 --> 00:06:01,043 You're not answering any of my questions. 140 00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:02,293 I just feel-- And you're grabbing 141 00:06:02,293 --> 00:06:03,710 onto my arm. I don't know what you're-- Okay. 142 00:06:03,710 --> 00:06:05,793 You know how I said we needed some help with "Dune"? 143 00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:07,293 Yes, I know we discussed this. 144 00:06:07,293 --> 00:06:08,793 Well, I-- I think we found our guy. 145 00:06:08,793 --> 00:06:11,168 Well, I think I still wanna try to do this 146 00:06:11,168 --> 00:06:12,793 on our own, so it's a discussion. 147 00:06:12,793 --> 00:06:16,501 I-- I know, but we're overwhelmed and we need help 148 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,251 if we're ever gonna get this show on its feet. 149 00:06:18,251 --> 00:06:20,918 Why are you talking to me like a four-year-old right now? Look-- It's just-- 150 00:06:20,918 --> 00:06:23,002 Will you promise me you'll have an open mind? 151 00:06:23,002 --> 00:06:26,084 Yes, Daddy. I'll have an open mind. Because people can change. 152 00:06:26,084 --> 00:06:27,877 You know that, right? 153 00:06:27,877 --> 00:06:30,002 Alex, yes. I know... 154 00:06:30,002 --> 00:06:31,334 What? 155 00:06:32,543 --> 00:06:34,334 Oh, fuck. Are you... 156 00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:35,293 No. 157 00:06:35,293 --> 00:06:36,585 People do not change that much. 158 00:06:36,585 --> 00:06:38,084 That is not possible. 159 00:06:38,084 --> 00:06:39,293 Brett, he's in AA now. 160 00:06:39,293 --> 00:06:41,334 He was an alcoholic then. 161 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:42,293 So what? 162 00:06:42,293 --> 00:06:43,751 We're, like, his amends or something? 163 00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,043 I don't want to be a project for-- 164 00:06:45,043 --> 00:06:46,334 Well, he knows he treated you like shit, 165 00:06:46,334 --> 00:06:47,918 so technically, you are a part of his amends, 166 00:06:47,918 --> 00:06:50,002 but he just happens to be a huge "Dune" fan, 167 00:06:50,002 --> 00:06:51,334 and he's great with visuals, man. 168 00:06:51,334 --> 00:06:52,793 So, this is win-win. 169 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,168 ♪ ♪ 170 00:07:10,751 --> 00:07:14,376 ♪ She said I left her, baby ♪ 171 00:07:14,376 --> 00:07:16,751 ♪ Tell her that I love her ♪ 172 00:07:18,043 --> 00:07:21,043 ♪ It's a million in one ♪ 173 00:07:21,043 --> 00:07:25,918 ♪ On this squeeze of so much ♪ 174 00:07:28,376 --> 00:07:31,418 ♪ Said I am crying ♪ 175 00:07:32,710 --> 00:07:35,585 ♪ I am weeping ♪ 176 00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:39,084 ♪ 'Cause my baby has gone ♪ 177 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,626 ♪ My baby is gone ♪ 178 00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,960 Okay, I-- I look a little bit different 179 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:48,960 than my profile pic. 180 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,209 Yeah. Yeah. (chuckles) 181 00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:53,376 Or a lot different. Uh, yeah. 182 00:07:53,376 --> 00:07:56,209 Okay, I get it. Um, believe it or not, 183 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,668 some people in our society are 184 00:07:58,668 --> 00:08:00,376 really focused on looks. 185 00:08:00,376 --> 00:08:02,751 So, you know, I chose 186 00:08:02,751 --> 00:08:05,293 an image that wasn't so, you know, specific. 187 00:08:05,293 --> 00:08:07,668 But it's-- I'm... 188 00:08:07,668 --> 00:08:09,293 Is it actually you? 189 00:08:09,293 --> 00:08:10,751 Yes, it's me. 190 00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:12,376 It's just some people, if they knew 191 00:08:12,376 --> 00:08:14,460 exactly what I looked like, they wouldn't even show up, 192 00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:16,543 so adjustments... 193 00:08:16,543 --> 00:08:18,460 need to be made. 194 00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:20,043 You basically lie? 195 00:08:20,043 --> 00:08:24,251 It's not lie. It's... Photoshop. 196 00:08:26,293 --> 00:08:28,460 I mean, okay. 197 00:08:28,460 --> 00:08:30,293 So you like to travel? 198 00:08:30,293 --> 00:08:31,668 I... 199 00:08:31,668 --> 00:08:34,084 You're assuming that... 200 00:08:34,084 --> 00:08:37,126 I wanna date somebody who starts off 201 00:08:37,126 --> 00:08:38,710 the relationship with a lie. 202 00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:40,168 Where was your picture taken? 203 00:08:40,168 --> 00:08:41,626 What? 204 00:08:41,626 --> 00:08:44,002 Your profile pic. Where was that one taken? 205 00:08:44,002 --> 00:08:45,585 I was at a Coldplay concert. Yeah? 206 00:08:45,585 --> 00:08:47,126 Yeah. Yeah? Which tour? 207 00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:50,626 Um, I think it was Parachutes. Parachutes. 208 00:08:50,626 --> 00:08:51,585 2001. 209 00:08:51,585 --> 00:08:53,543 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 210 00:08:53,543 --> 00:08:54,751 What's it now? 211 00:08:56,043 --> 00:08:57,668 Okay. No, no. 212 00:08:57,668 --> 00:08:58,960 I look like my picture. 213 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,793 I chose a picture... Yeah-- 214 00:09:00,793 --> 00:09:03,084 that actually resembles what I look like. But-- 215 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:07,209 Resembles is the-- is the perfect word for that. Yeah, there's-- 216 00:09:09,168 --> 00:09:10,293 I'm sorry. 217 00:09:10,293 --> 00:09:12,877 I just-- Clearly this is... Okay. All right. 218 00:09:12,877 --> 00:09:15,501 Look, I guess we're done here. 219 00:09:15,501 --> 00:09:17,084 Thanks for meeting me. 220 00:09:17,084 --> 00:09:18,251 Yeah. 221 00:09:18,251 --> 00:09:20,501 But look, just let me 222 00:09:20,501 --> 00:09:22,002 give you a piece of advice. 223 00:09:22,002 --> 00:09:23,251 You're obviously new to this. 224 00:09:23,251 --> 00:09:27,376 It is fucking brutal out here. 225 00:09:27,376 --> 00:09:29,793 I mean, everyone's miserable. 226 00:09:29,793 --> 00:09:31,918 Everyone is terrified 227 00:09:31,918 --> 00:09:34,043 and everyone's a little bit Photoshopped, 228 00:09:34,043 --> 00:09:36,501 and if you bring the kind of judgment into this 229 00:09:36,501 --> 00:09:38,334 that you've been throwing my way tonight, 230 00:09:38,334 --> 00:09:41,585 man, you're entering a world of pain. 231 00:09:41,585 --> 00:09:44,168 Who the fuck do you think you are 232 00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:45,960 talking to me like that? (sighs) 233 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,084 Let me break it down for you. 234 00:09:48,084 --> 00:09:50,084 You're a nerd, okay? 235 00:09:50,084 --> 00:09:51,668 That's the bottom line. 236 00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:54,543 And frankly, you are not good-looking enough 237 00:09:54,543 --> 00:09:56,209 to be this much of a dick. 238 00:09:56,209 --> 00:09:57,960 And you are not hot enough 239 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,668 anymore... 240 00:09:59,668 --> 00:10:02,835 to be this much of a bitch. 241 00:10:05,251 --> 00:10:08,126 Alex: Ah, I see. 242 00:10:08,126 --> 00:10:09,418 (buzzing, whirring) 243 00:10:09,418 --> 00:10:12,501 I see this moon that holds the answers. 244 00:10:12,501 --> 00:10:14,376 But what? 245 00:10:14,376 --> 00:10:17,877 In my dreams, they call me 246 00:10:17,877 --> 00:10:21,626 by a new name, but I do not know why. ♪ ♪ 247 00:10:21,626 --> 00:10:25,585 Listen... inside. 248 00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:29,168 The spice is everywhere. 249 00:10:29,168 --> 00:10:30,585 (buzzing, whirring) 250 00:10:30,585 --> 00:10:32,209 Oh, okay. Okay. 251 00:10:33,334 --> 00:10:34,960 Just out of curiosity, 252 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,960 how much of this monologue are you guys planning 253 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,126 to include in the-- in the final piece? 254 00:10:40,126 --> 00:10:43,168 Um... uh, all of it. 255 00:10:43,168 --> 00:10:44,918 Yeah, I mean, there's an act break right after it, 256 00:10:44,918 --> 00:10:46,918 so I feel like it's... How many acts? 257 00:10:46,918 --> 00:10:48,084 Both: Five. 258 00:10:50,793 --> 00:10:51,918 Okay. 259 00:10:53,084 --> 00:10:55,710 I-yi-yi-yi-yi 260 00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:58,251 yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi... 261 00:11:02,501 --> 00:11:04,835 It's gonna be too long. 262 00:11:04,835 --> 00:11:07,126 Oh. Well, part of the point 263 00:11:07,126 --> 00:11:08,418 of this is to play it out real time. 264 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,293 We're like a tone poem as opposed to sort of caving 265 00:11:11,293 --> 00:11:12,585 to the frenetic MTV pacing-- 266 00:11:12,585 --> 00:11:15,293 Brad. Brad-- And it needs focus! 267 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,293 But I love it. 268 00:11:21,251 --> 00:11:22,626 You do? 269 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,835 It's fucking great. 270 00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:27,668 Yeah? Yes! 271 00:11:27,668 --> 00:11:31,585 It is so DIY and unique. 272 00:11:31,585 --> 00:11:33,543 Cool. Yeah. Ha! 273 00:11:33,543 --> 00:11:35,626 Uh... sand. 274 00:11:35,626 --> 00:11:36,585 Sand? 275 00:11:36,585 --> 00:11:39,084 We're gonna need a whole bunch of sand. 276 00:11:39,084 --> 00:11:40,126 I don't love sand. 277 00:11:40,126 --> 00:11:41,960 Dudley: We're gonna get a huge space, 278 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,751 and we're gonna fill the fucker with sand! 279 00:11:43,751 --> 00:11:45,626 And then, the sandworms 280 00:11:45,626 --> 00:11:47,334 will come out and they will sail 281 00:11:47,334 --> 00:11:48,710 through the space! 282 00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:52,501 Alex, what if we truncated the monologue? Okay? 283 00:11:52,501 --> 00:11:55,209 And just when you're about to start, 284 00:11:55,209 --> 00:11:56,543 it all of a sudden comes to a stop 285 00:11:56,543 --> 00:11:58,751 because there's a sandworm that comes in and attacks. 286 00:11:58,751 --> 00:11:59,793 All right? 287 00:11:59,793 --> 00:12:01,751 And then out of the blue, 288 00:12:01,751 --> 00:12:04,501 there's a huge fucking lighting shift! 289 00:12:04,501 --> 00:12:06,002 (lights click off) 290 00:12:06,002 --> 00:12:08,501 Uh... what... I mean, how are we gonna see? 291 00:12:08,501 --> 00:12:10,334 Dudley: Plug those in right there. Plug those in. 292 00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:11,501 Dude... Alex: These ones? 293 00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:13,168 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 294 00:12:13,168 --> 00:12:15,126 Yeah! 295 00:12:15,126 --> 00:12:16,501 Brett: That's for-- that's for later 296 00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:18,209 when-- in, like, the third act though. It's-- 297 00:12:18,209 --> 00:12:20,668 It's okay, it's okay. Okay. Brett, give me a drumbeat. 298 00:12:20,668 --> 00:12:21,918 O-- okay. (drumming) 299 00:12:21,918 --> 00:12:23,501 Dudley: That's right. 300 00:12:23,501 --> 00:12:25,585 Keep it coming. Keep it coming. 301 00:12:25,585 --> 00:12:27,209 And, Paul... Yeah? 302 00:12:27,209 --> 00:12:28,460 what are you gonna do 303 00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:30,668 when the sandworm attacks, man?! 304 00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:31,751 (drum beating) 305 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,918 You gonna give me that mind control? 306 00:12:33,918 --> 00:12:36,251 Yeah! You're gonna give me that mind control?! 307 00:12:36,251 --> 00:12:38,501 Uh-huh. Now get rid of the puppet. 308 00:12:38,501 --> 00:12:39,543 I can't get rid of the puppet. 309 00:12:39,543 --> 00:12:41,543 Come on, Alex. You are the star, man, 310 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,668 not that fucking puppet! No. The puppet's an extension of me. 311 00:12:43,668 --> 00:12:46,543 Get rid of the puppet, man! I think you should get rid of the puppet, Alex. 312 00:12:46,543 --> 00:12:47,543 Just do it. 313 00:12:47,543 --> 00:12:49,543 (buzzing, whirring) 314 00:12:49,543 --> 00:12:50,918 (inhales deeply) Yeah. Do it. 315 00:12:50,918 --> 00:12:52,084 Give me those eyes. 316 00:12:53,543 --> 00:12:54,585 Yeah! 317 00:12:58,543 --> 00:13:00,877 Okay, Pappas! I warned you 318 00:13:00,877 --> 00:13:03,334 about charging your buddy's car 319 00:13:03,334 --> 00:13:06,209 and about this loud, weirdo shit going on in here! 320 00:13:06,209 --> 00:13:07,877 Now you're out! 321 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,251 What did he just say? 322 00:13:17,334 --> 00:13:18,376 (party music plays) 323 00:13:18,376 --> 00:13:21,084 It's like a fuckin' airport. 324 00:13:21,084 --> 00:13:23,002 All right, let me look at you. 325 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:24,376 Okay. 326 00:13:24,376 --> 00:13:26,835 Let's break out the big guns. Oh, Tina. No. 327 00:13:26,835 --> 00:13:29,084 Yeah. I don't wanna look, like... chesty. 328 00:13:29,084 --> 00:13:31,460 You need to prove to everybody that you are a leader 329 00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:33,668 and you can get this done. 330 00:13:33,668 --> 00:13:36,002 Th-- this way? Yes. 331 00:13:36,002 --> 00:13:39,084 Well, you know, I'm not in competition with Anna. 332 00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:41,918 Yeah, but she's in competition with you. 333 00:13:52,710 --> 00:13:54,209 Michelle! 334 00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:56,293 Hi, beautiful. 335 00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,168 Wow. 336 00:13:57,168 --> 00:14:00,084 You look so beautiful. Oh, hi. 337 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,585 Oh, this is my sister, Tina. 338 00:14:02,585 --> 00:14:03,543 Tina. Hi. 339 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,084 Oh, my goodness. Hello. Muah! Oh! 340 00:14:06,084 --> 00:14:07,460 So good to see you. You too. 341 00:14:07,460 --> 00:14:09,835 Anna: So it's all happening. Look at all the people. 342 00:14:09,835 --> 00:14:10,960 It's great. Michelle: Yeah. 343 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,960 There's so many. Um... 344 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,126 who are all these people? 345 00:14:15,126 --> 00:14:18,084 Oh, it's a lot of Ben's friends from work, 346 00:14:18,084 --> 00:14:20,918 some of my friends, a lot of Westside money. It's really great. 347 00:14:20,918 --> 00:14:23,251 I think even if we get a handful of them, 348 00:14:23,251 --> 00:14:25,168 we're, like, halfway to our goal. 349 00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:26,293 It's gonna be amazing. 350 00:14:26,293 --> 00:14:28,626 So, you guys come on in. Make yourselves at home. 351 00:14:28,626 --> 00:14:30,293 I'm gonna go do my thing. 352 00:14:30,293 --> 00:14:32,293 Tina, it's so nice to meet you. You too! 353 00:14:32,293 --> 00:14:35,460 Oh, God. What the fuck is that, a wedding dress? 354 00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:37,501 Looks like it. 355 00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:41,293 Okay, this is a charter school party. I know. 356 00:14:41,293 --> 00:14:43,710 This is, like, so rich. 357 00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:45,002 You want a drink? 358 00:14:45,002 --> 00:14:46,418 Yes. Okay. 359 00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:48,168 Yes. Meet you back here. 360 00:14:48,168 --> 00:14:50,960 Anna: Oh, boy. Do you just bathe in coconut oil? 361 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,751 Your skin is like velvet. 362 00:14:52,751 --> 00:14:54,668 Mm! Good to see you, honey. 363 00:14:54,668 --> 00:14:56,376 Guys, you made it. 364 00:14:56,376 --> 00:14:57,751 I can't believe it. 365 00:14:57,751 --> 00:15:00,460 (phone vibrates) 366 00:15:01,793 --> 00:15:02,877 Hello? 367 00:15:04,002 --> 00:15:06,710 What up, Big C? 368 00:15:08,209 --> 00:15:09,460 (chuckles) 369 00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:11,668 Yeah, man. 370 00:15:11,668 --> 00:15:13,460 So, uh, what's on your mind? 371 00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:16,793 Big C: How do you feel about a million dollars? 372 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:19,710 Are you kidding me? 373 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:22,126 I never kid about money, bitch! 374 00:15:22,126 --> 00:15:25,376 Jesus Christ! You're on the show, motherfucker! 375 00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:26,918 Offer just went to your agent. 376 00:15:26,918 --> 00:15:27,960 Go buy a car, 377 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,543 go buy a fuckin' boat, 378 00:15:29,543 --> 00:15:31,126 sink the boat, buy a new boat! 379 00:15:31,126 --> 00:15:33,668 Let's do it! Pappas! (gasps) 380 00:15:34,751 --> 00:15:36,043 (door opens) 381 00:15:39,251 --> 00:15:41,293 What's going on? 382 00:15:41,293 --> 00:15:43,168 Oh, it's just work stuff. 383 00:15:49,835 --> 00:15:50,960 You know, you can tell me 384 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,209 about work. You don't have to, like... 385 00:15:53,209 --> 00:15:56,043 hide and be ashamed. 386 00:15:56,043 --> 00:15:57,960 I'm not ashamed. Well, you, like, 387 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,126 never take the calls in front of me. 388 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,543 Like, somebody calls and you, like, 389 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,209 run down the hall or something. 390 00:16:03,209 --> 00:16:04,501 It just feels-- Okay. 391 00:16:04,501 --> 00:16:07,501 Um, that was, um, Big C. 392 00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:10,918 He offered me a full-time job on the show... 393 00:16:10,918 --> 00:16:12,585 for two years... 394 00:16:12,585 --> 00:16:15,751 for huge money. 395 00:16:15,751 --> 00:16:18,501 I-- I don't know what I'm gonna do about it, so... 396 00:16:18,501 --> 00:16:19,793 Whoa. 397 00:16:19,793 --> 00:16:22,751 Right. And it's that look that you're giving me 398 00:16:22,751 --> 00:16:24,543 right now... 399 00:16:24,543 --> 00:16:25,751 which is the reason why 400 00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:28,334 I can't tell you this stuff 'cause if for one second 401 00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:31,084 I entertain doing anything other than being in our little 402 00:16:31,084 --> 00:16:32,751 playpen of "Dune," 403 00:16:32,751 --> 00:16:34,877 you look at me like I'm a sell-out, man! Dude, that-- 404 00:16:34,877 --> 00:16:36,168 that's on you, okay? 405 00:16:36,168 --> 00:16:40,460 Honestly, if you want to fuckin' be a Russian vampire, 406 00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:42,209 like, go be a Russian vampire. It's a somnambulist. 407 00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:45,126 Well, if you want to waste your time and your life 408 00:16:45,126 --> 00:16:46,835 playing that shit, then fine. I'm not trying to 409 00:16:46,835 --> 00:16:48,084 waste my time, man. 410 00:16:48,084 --> 00:16:49,668 What are you talking about? 411 00:16:49,668 --> 00:16:51,835 Just because you for the moment 412 00:16:51,835 --> 00:16:53,460 have taken a vacation 413 00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:55,626 in fairy land from your life 414 00:16:55,626 --> 00:16:56,918 and, you know, you're living 415 00:16:56,918 --> 00:17:00,002 inside of Frank Herbert's imagination, and you hooked up 416 00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:02,376 with a random girl from Uber, 417 00:17:02,376 --> 00:17:04,585 like, I'm not doing it wrong 418 00:17:04,585 --> 00:17:07,002 just because I'm not right there with you, you know? 419 00:17:07,002 --> 00:17:08,168 So... 420 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:11,960 Uh... 421 00:17:15,918 --> 00:17:17,793 Yeah... 422 00:17:17,793 --> 00:17:21,002 No. Okay, okay. Uh... 423 00:17:25,251 --> 00:17:27,501 Tina: They're all married. 424 00:17:27,501 --> 00:17:30,002 It's fuckin' hopeless. 425 00:17:30,002 --> 00:17:33,002 Might as well get a sperm donor right now. 426 00:17:33,002 --> 00:17:34,835 Might get some money for the school. 427 00:17:34,835 --> 00:17:36,002 Oh, we're all set. Of course. 428 00:17:36,002 --> 00:17:37,751 We're good. We're gonna be fine. Yeah. 429 00:17:37,751 --> 00:17:40,376 I need to find that e-mail. 430 00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:41,835 What e-mail? 431 00:17:41,835 --> 00:17:43,501 Yeah. 432 00:17:43,501 --> 00:17:47,043 Can you create a distraction? 433 00:17:47,043 --> 00:17:48,626 What? 434 00:17:48,626 --> 00:17:50,002 I just... 435 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:53,002 I need to get up those stairs without anyone seeing me. 436 00:17:53,002 --> 00:17:55,501 Please? You're good at, like, getting people's attention. 437 00:17:55,501 --> 00:17:57,334 Can you just, like, do a thing? 438 00:17:58,418 --> 00:18:01,126 You want me to do a thing? 439 00:18:01,126 --> 00:18:02,668 Yeah. 440 00:18:19,084 --> 00:18:20,209 Excuse me! 441 00:18:20,209 --> 00:18:21,543 Excuse me! 442 00:18:21,543 --> 00:18:23,460 Over here, everyone! 443 00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:24,877 I'd just like to make a toast 444 00:18:24,877 --> 00:18:27,626 to our beautiful hostess, Anna. 445 00:18:27,626 --> 00:18:30,710 Anna, this party is off the hook. 446 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,418 We are all so grateful. 447 00:18:32,418 --> 00:18:34,209 And everybody over here, 448 00:18:34,209 --> 00:18:35,626 let's just take one minute 449 00:18:35,626 --> 00:18:37,710 to look over here. 450 00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:39,877 Attention over here so we can celebrate 451 00:18:39,877 --> 00:18:41,751 this wonderful woman. 452 00:18:41,751 --> 00:18:42,835 This is the kind of woman 453 00:18:42,835 --> 00:18:44,877 who comes in and takes charge... 454 00:18:44,877 --> 00:18:46,293 whether you want her to or not, 455 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:49,501 and that is what we need for our schools, right, everybody? 456 00:18:49,501 --> 00:18:53,460 And I don't know about you, but I am so inspired 457 00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:55,626 tonight, and in fact, 458 00:18:55,626 --> 00:18:58,501 I am gonna sing a song about it... 459 00:18:58,501 --> 00:19:00,084 because... 460 00:19:00,084 --> 00:19:02,626 that's how inspired I am. 461 00:19:02,626 --> 00:19:05,376 So... here it goes. 462 00:19:06,626 --> 00:19:09,501 ♪ I'm gonna make a change ♪ 463 00:19:09,501 --> 00:19:13,751 ♪ For once in my life ♪ 464 00:19:14,585 --> 00:19:16,918 ♪ It's gonna feel real good ♪ 465 00:19:16,918 --> 00:19:18,501 ♪ It's gonna make a difference ♪ 466 00:19:18,501 --> 00:19:23,209 ♪ It's gonna make it right ♪ 467 00:19:23,209 --> 00:19:24,710 (laughs) 468 00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:26,501 (mumbles) 469 00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:29,626 ♪ And the wind that blows ♪ 470 00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:20,126 Mich? 471 00:20:22,002 --> 00:20:23,543 What the fuck are you doing? 472 00:20:25,084 --> 00:20:26,877 (whispers) Oh, my God! 473 00:20:26,877 --> 00:20:29,835 You almost gave me a heart attack. Why are you on the floor? 474 00:20:29,835 --> 00:20:32,710 Come help me look up this e-mail. 475 00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:37,293 Okay... 476 00:20:38,334 --> 00:20:40,168 Oh, I got it. I got it. 477 00:20:41,835 --> 00:20:43,877 Michelle: Oh, my God. 478 00:20:46,376 --> 00:20:48,334 This bitch. Fucking cunt. 479 00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:51,501 Bitch deliberately left me off. She did. 480 00:20:56,835 --> 00:20:59,543 ♪ Feel so good ♪ 481 00:20:59,543 --> 00:21:00,710 Hi there. 482 00:21:00,710 --> 00:21:04,918 I hear that you called for an UberX-tremely sexy! 483 00:21:04,918 --> 00:21:07,209 Um, hey, Brett. 484 00:21:07,209 --> 00:21:08,710 You, um... 485 00:21:08,710 --> 00:21:13,543 You can't just, like, show up at my house like this. 486 00:21:13,543 --> 00:21:14,877 Oh, shit. 487 00:21:14,877 --> 00:21:17,168 Um... fuck. I'm sorry. I-- 488 00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:18,877 I'm sorry. It's just that, um, 489 00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:21,084 you know, I'm, like, I'm an independent woman... Right. 490 00:21:21,084 --> 00:21:23,460 I get it. I get it. And I could have... 491 00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:27,209 any number of things going on in my apartment. 492 00:21:29,543 --> 00:21:30,835 Are you fucking with me right now? Yes! 493 00:21:30,835 --> 00:21:32,668 What the-- I'm fucking with you. 494 00:21:32,668 --> 00:21:35,793 I thought you were boning dudes in here! What's-- Jesus! Get in here please! 495 00:21:35,793 --> 00:21:37,002 Ki-ya! (laughs) 496 00:21:37,002 --> 00:21:39,002 Sorry. That just-- I don't know why I did that. 497 00:21:39,002 --> 00:21:40,460 You know what? I brought you a gift. 498 00:21:40,460 --> 00:21:42,334 Oh? It's an "I'm sorry" gift 499 00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:44,668 for karate chopping you. Well, you're... thinking ahead. 500 00:21:44,668 --> 00:21:46,209 This is what I-- this is what-- I like that. 501 00:21:46,209 --> 00:21:48,084 I knew I was gonna do something stupid when I got here, 502 00:21:48,084 --> 00:21:50,084 so I was like, "I'm gonna bring you a gift." Foresight. 503 00:21:50,084 --> 00:21:51,293 Mm-hmm. 504 00:21:51,293 --> 00:21:53,585 No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes. 505 00:21:53,585 --> 00:21:57,626 Did you make me a-- a Just the Rain shirt? 506 00:21:57,626 --> 00:21:59,126 I will say it's one of a kind. 507 00:21:59,126 --> 00:22:01,084 This is beautiful. This one's for me. 508 00:22:01,084 --> 00:22:02,918 Oh... 509 00:22:02,918 --> 00:22:04,251 Yeah. 510 00:22:04,251 --> 00:22:06,918 Look at him! Sometimes you gotta break up with the band 511 00:22:06,918 --> 00:22:08,460 if you want to be free. Yes. 512 00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:10,126 If you want to fly. Yes. 513 00:22:10,126 --> 00:22:12,585 But I feel like to make it complete, we have to 514 00:22:12,585 --> 00:22:14,084 try them on though. 515 00:22:14,084 --> 00:22:17,002 Um, I'm interested in seeing that shirt on you for sure. Well, um... 516 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:19,501 I'm not wearing a bra currently. 517 00:22:19,501 --> 00:22:21,334 Hm. 518 00:22:21,334 --> 00:22:23,460 I'm in if you're in. 519 00:22:25,668 --> 00:22:27,960 Anna: It was a total nightmare. 520 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,126 All day long he wouldn't eat his dinner. 521 00:22:30,126 --> 00:22:31,626 He's, like, throwing potatoes at me. 522 00:22:31,626 --> 00:22:32,960 And at, like, 9:30 at night, 523 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,002 He's asleep with a crown on his head. 524 00:22:35,002 --> 00:22:36,626 Oh, that is so precious. Excuse me. 525 00:22:36,626 --> 00:22:38,877 Hey! Hey! Can I please talk to you for a minute? 526 00:22:38,877 --> 00:22:41,084 Of course, yeah. What's going on? 527 00:22:41,084 --> 00:22:44,960 Uh, can it be alone? 528 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,793 Anna: You know what? I will find you ladies later. 529 00:22:46,793 --> 00:22:48,543 Have so much fun, okay? 530 00:22:48,543 --> 00:22:51,793 What's going on, Michelle? 531 00:22:51,793 --> 00:22:52,918 What are you doing? 532 00:22:52,918 --> 00:22:55,793 Throwing an awesome party. What are you doing? 533 00:22:55,793 --> 00:22:57,835 Why are you trying to push me out? 534 00:22:57,835 --> 00:22:59,960 What are you talking about, Michelle? 535 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,835 Anna, you have been calling meetings without me. 536 00:23:02,835 --> 00:23:05,168 No, I haven't. 537 00:23:05,168 --> 00:23:06,835 Yes, you have. 538 00:23:06,835 --> 00:23:08,793 No. Stop lying! 539 00:23:08,793 --> 00:23:10,751 What? Stop lying. 540 00:23:10,751 --> 00:23:12,002 Stop lying. 541 00:23:12,002 --> 00:23:13,960 You've been calling meetings without me. No, I haven't. 542 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,376 I know that you have. What? 543 00:23:15,376 --> 00:23:18,418 I-- I looked at your e-mail account, okay? 544 00:23:18,418 --> 00:23:20,251 So, I know that you have. 545 00:23:20,251 --> 00:23:21,835 I'm sorry? 546 00:23:21,835 --> 00:23:22,877 You... 547 00:23:22,877 --> 00:23:25,334 I-- Tracy told me. 548 00:23:25,334 --> 00:23:28,501 So, I looked at your computer. 549 00:23:30,002 --> 00:23:31,209 Anna, I am... 550 00:23:31,209 --> 00:23:33,585 really grateful for all the help that you've given me, 551 00:23:33,585 --> 00:23:37,501 but please know that I have built the school 552 00:23:37,501 --> 00:23:39,168 from the ground up. 553 00:23:39,168 --> 00:23:41,209 I have put my whole heart into this, 554 00:23:41,209 --> 00:23:44,209 and this crazy fundraiser 555 00:23:44,209 --> 00:23:46,668 with super-rich people is just not 556 00:23:46,668 --> 00:23:49,168 what I want to be doing! 557 00:23:52,543 --> 00:23:54,835 Are you done? 558 00:23:54,835 --> 00:23:56,960 Uh, yes. 559 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,710 Because from where I stand, Michelle, 560 00:23:59,710 --> 00:24:03,543 you don't seem to be doing anything. 561 00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:05,918 Without me, none of this 562 00:24:05,918 --> 00:24:07,043 would be happening. 563 00:24:07,043 --> 00:24:08,209 So, yeah, Michelle, 564 00:24:08,209 --> 00:24:10,002 I'm taking a little bit of initiative, 565 00:24:10,002 --> 00:24:11,501 and I would like a fucking thank you 566 00:24:11,501 --> 00:24:14,043 for saving your ass! This is my school. 567 00:24:14,043 --> 00:24:15,543 It's my project, okay? 568 00:24:15,543 --> 00:24:18,501 You don't get to just come in and take it. Are you kidding me? 569 00:24:18,501 --> 00:24:20,751 Without me, you don't have a fucking school, 570 00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:23,501 and these rich people, these are the people 571 00:24:23,501 --> 00:24:26,168 who by the end of the night will have our entire school 572 00:24:26,168 --> 00:24:28,918 funded, and right now, you are getting in the way, 573 00:24:28,918 --> 00:24:31,793 and that is why I don't invite you to meetings. 574 00:24:31,793 --> 00:24:33,460 I think you are completely 575 00:24:33,460 --> 00:24:36,585 ineffective, I think you're crazy incomp-- 576 00:24:36,585 --> 00:24:37,585 No! 577 00:24:39,626 --> 00:24:41,084 Yeah! 578 00:24:41,084 --> 00:24:42,710 Ha! 579 00:24:44,334 --> 00:24:45,543 Oh, my-- 580 00:24:45,543 --> 00:24:47,710 (Tina cackles) 581 00:24:52,209 --> 00:24:53,418 ♪ I thought I'd learn ♪ 582 00:24:53,418 --> 00:24:56,084 ♪ From my mistakes ♪ 583 00:24:56,084 --> 00:24:57,251 ♪ I thought he'd learn ♪ 584 00:24:57,251 --> 00:24:59,126 ♪ From my mistakes ♪ 585 00:24:59,126 --> 00:25:00,751 ♪ I thought you'd give me ♪ 586 00:25:00,751 --> 00:25:02,960 ♪ The right advice ♪ 587 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,793 ♪ I thought he'd let me in ♪ 588 00:25:04,793 --> 00:25:07,668 ♪ For one last time ♪ 589 00:25:21,209 --> 00:25:23,002 ♪ The planks rattle around ♪ 590 00:25:23,002 --> 00:25:24,918 ♪ Like an old-timey movie ♪ 591 00:25:24,918 --> 00:25:26,543 ♪ In tube-top and shorts ♪ 592 00:25:26,543 --> 00:25:29,002 ♪ That Vice called "pull-me-down"♪ 593 00:25:29,002 --> 00:25:30,126 ♪ And he's ignoring me ♪ 594 00:25:30,126 --> 00:25:32,084 ♪ Like it's 2001 ♪ 595 00:25:35,710 --> 00:25:37,460 ♪ Why keep time traveling ♪ 596 00:25:37,460 --> 00:25:39,293 ♪ If it doesn't get better ♪ 597 00:25:39,293 --> 00:25:42,585 ♪ On the second time around? ♪ 598 00:25:42,585 --> 00:25:44,585 ♪ Why keep time traveling ♪ 599 00:25:44,585 --> 00:25:46,168 ♪ If it doesn't get better ♪ 600 00:25:46,168 --> 00:25:49,501 ♪ On the second time around? ♪ 601 00:25:49,501 --> 00:25:50,626 ♪ I thought I'd learn ♪ 602 00:25:50,626 --> 00:25:52,835 ♪ From my mistakes ♪ 603 00:25:52,835 --> 00:25:54,084 ♪ I thought he'd learn ♪ 604 00:25:54,084 --> 00:25:56,084 ♪ From my mistakes ♪ 605 00:25:56,084 --> 00:25:57,918 ♪ I thought you'd give me ♪ 606 00:25:57,918 --> 00:25:59,668 ♪ The right advice ♪ 607 00:25:59,668 --> 00:26:01,835 ♪ I thought he'd let me in ♪ 608 00:26:01,835 --> 00:26:04,877 ♪ For one last time ♪