1
00:00:18,032 --> 00:00:23,032
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

2
00:00:29,579 --> 00:00:32,749
Deep in the woods
a nymph did lay,

3
00:00:32,817 --> 00:00:35,019
<i>a thousand years
well hidden.</i>

4
00:00:36,686 --> 00:00:38,722
<i>Until a knight
dared one day</i>

5
00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:42,894
<i>to claim his
prize forbidden.</i>

6
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,798
<i>Come midnight in the forest
deep the maiden he embraced,</i>

7
00:00:46,864 --> 00:00:49,934
<i>awakened from
her timeless sleep,</i>

8
00:00:50,001 --> 00:00:52,904
<i>pure blood she
had to taste.</i>

9
00:00:54,939 --> 00:00:57,141
<i>This was not just
a fleeting whim,</i>

10
00:00:57,208 --> 00:00:59,844
<i>more than a
kiss she stole.</i>

11
00:00:59,911 --> 00:01:03,647
<i>The breath of life
she took from him,</i>

12
00:01:03,713 --> 00:01:06,818
<i>for she was
but... a troll!</i>

13
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,621
<i>The troll had
magic powers,</i>

14
00:01:11,688 --> 00:01:14,091
<i>and he changed
shape at will.</i>

15
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:16,828
<i>And at the solstice hour,</i>

16
00:01:16,894 --> 00:01:19,663
<i>began to show his skill.</i>

17
00:01:19,729 --> 00:01:22,934
My, who are you?
A silly green munchkin?

18
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,970
Amei, omown,
youmou, nomow!

19
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,415
My book of magic!

20
00:01:39,884 --> 00:01:41,718
This way with you!

21
00:01:41,786 --> 00:01:43,888
After her! She's fleeing!

22
00:01:47,490 --> 00:01:49,160
Hurry.

23
00:01:49,227 --> 00:01:51,829
- There she is!
- She's getting away!

24
00:01:51,896 --> 00:01:54,899
Time is of the essence.
Make haste.

25
00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:57,701
Move thy buttocks!

26
00:01:57,768 --> 00:02:00,004
I'd rather shake your buttocks,
my mistress!

27
00:02:00,071 --> 00:02:02,840
There! There!

28
00:02:02,907 --> 00:02:05,042
There she is! Get the witch!

29
00:02:11,182 --> 00:02:13,784
Kill her! She's over there.
She's a witch!

30
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,554
Circle around the back!

31
00:02:19,824 --> 00:02:21,859
Oh, George Hardy's
in this movie!

32
00:02:21,926 --> 00:02:24,161
Don't get too close.
She's a witch!

33
00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:32,169
If you get her, kill her.

34
00:03:06,703 --> 00:03:09,606
So, we finally arrived
at our destination.

35
00:03:10,975 --> 00:03:14,245
My pungent youngling.

36
00:03:14,312 --> 00:03:17,048
And is it really
exotic techniques of copulating

37
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:20,918
that are written down in there,
my little loved mistress?

38
00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:22,053
Indeed!

39
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:26,190
You, my dear,
you just wait and see.

40
00:03:26,257 --> 00:03:30,627
And we will be making nooky
all night.

41
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:36,733
Here we go.

42
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,571
<i>I am the Great
Book of Magic.</i>

43
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:44,141
<i>My sleep is over.
Oh, how tragic.</i>

44
00:03:44,208 --> 00:03:46,210
<i>A stupid laugh!</i>

45
00:03:46,277 --> 00:03:48,045
<i>Oh, yes, touch me.</i>

46
00:03:48,112 --> 00:03:52,083
Oh, great book
of spells and wizardry,

47
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:56,220
show the answers
and give advice to me.

48
00:03:56,287 --> 00:04:00,557
How can I open
the gate of the worlds?

49
00:04:00,623 --> 00:04:05,162
Wake up
and give me the enchanted words.

50
00:04:05,229 --> 00:04:06,964
<i>To open the portal</i>

51
00:04:07,031 --> 00:04:08,966
<i>listen right.</i>

52
00:04:09,033 --> 00:04:11,769
<i>It must occur on
solstice night.</i>

53
00:04:11,836 --> 00:04:16,240
<i>Only blood of a dunce,
virgin and pure,</i>

54
00:04:16,307 --> 00:04:20,344
<i>will reveal the words,
that is for sure.</i>

55
00:04:20,411 --> 00:04:22,712
Do you know what that means?

56
00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:24,581
Shouldn't we give
each other a kiss

57
00:04:24,647 --> 00:04:27,118
to start my arousing process?

58
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,653
I don't like foreplay.

59
00:04:34,792 --> 00:04:37,094
- Torture her!
- Kill the witch.

60
00:04:37,161 --> 00:04:39,163
- Drown her!
- Tear the witch apart!

61
00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:42,066
- She's a witch!
- A witch? Moi?

62
00:04:42,133 --> 00:04:44,601
How dare you, peasants?

63
00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:49,572
I am your Lady,
the Marquess of Baden.

64
00:04:50,673 --> 00:04:52,376
You've killed my brother.

65
00:04:52,443 --> 00:04:55,612
You sucked the soul
out of his body. Demonic woman!

66
00:04:55,678 --> 00:04:57,281
Lies!

67
00:04:57,348 --> 00:05:00,284
Nothing but malicious lies!

68
00:05:00,351 --> 00:05:03,354
I beg you, Monsieur Keller.

69
00:05:03,421 --> 00:05:06,157
The rabble are
in dire need of relief

70
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:09,293
from their sexual frustration!

71
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:14,765
I don't care how many
stiffies the peasants have.

72
00:05:14,832 --> 00:05:18,235
Whatever you say,
I don't believe it.

73
00:05:18,302 --> 00:05:19,804
I've still got my marbles.

74
00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:22,639
You may be able
to deceive that virgin,

75
00:05:22,705 --> 00:05:25,309
but it's not so easy with me!

76
00:05:25,376 --> 00:05:28,245
- Give it up, changeling.
- Me?

77
00:05:28,312 --> 00:05:31,182
You are a...

78
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,851
troll!

79
00:05:36,954 --> 00:05:41,792
Yes! Yes, indeed.

80
00:05:41,859 --> 00:05:45,329
You have detected me.

81
00:05:45,396 --> 00:05:50,267
Yes, I'm a... troll!

82
00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:53,370
I'm a troll!

83
00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:55,439
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

84
00:05:55,506 --> 00:05:57,274
That's it.

85
00:05:57,341 --> 00:06:00,945
And now I'm going to free
my brothers

86
00:06:01,011 --> 00:06:03,347
from their magic prison,

87
00:06:03,414 --> 00:06:05,950
so they can feast
on your flesh, too.

88
00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:07,451
Ha-ha-ha!

89
00:06:07,518 --> 00:06:10,254
Guards, seize her!

90
00:06:14,358 --> 00:06:15,926
Now, cut the crap!

91
00:06:15,993 --> 00:06:17,328
Hmm?

92
00:06:17,394 --> 00:06:20,865
Still here,
you bumbling old fool?

93
00:06:20,931 --> 00:06:26,303
I'll give you fool!
I'm Schnitzel, the wizard!

94
00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:28,105
Schnitzel?

95
00:06:28,172 --> 00:06:30,707
Thou shalt be banished!

96
00:06:30,774 --> 00:06:32,943
That's just ridiculous.

97
00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:34,812
Schnitzel?

98
00:06:34,879 --> 00:06:37,381
Just take a look!

99
00:06:37,448 --> 00:06:39,716
I've got the book.

100
00:06:39,783 --> 00:06:41,418
- Who's laughing now?
- My book!

101
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:45,856
- Amei, turmurn...
- No!

102
00:06:45,923 --> 00:06:50,327
- ..theemee, toomoo, stamone!!
- That is not allowed!

103
00:06:50,394 --> 00:06:53,831
No! Agh!

104
00:06:56,433 --> 00:06:58,802
Stamone!

105
00:07:00,471 --> 00:07:04,341
Turned to stone
in a woman's guise,

106
00:07:04,408 --> 00:07:07,811
<i>by the spell the
magician cast.</i>

107
00:07:07,878 --> 00:07:12,416
<i>They buried the hideous
changeling with the book,</i>

108
00:07:12,483 --> 00:07:14,084
<i>at last.</i>

109
00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:19,156
Mind the frame.

110
00:07:19,223 --> 00:07:21,892
Here, the key to the booklet.

111
00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:26,964
Never forget, it must not fall
into the wrong hands,

112
00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:30,034
otherwise we will all be doomed.

113
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,770
I'll stow it away safely.

114
00:07:32,836 --> 00:07:35,906
And I'll dedicate
a stone crucifix to my brother,

115
00:07:35,973 --> 00:07:37,975
a memorial for everyone

116
00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:41,879
so this evil troll underneath it
cannot ever return.

117
00:08:24,288 --> 00:08:26,957
Holy shit!

118
00:08:27,024 --> 00:08:29,827
You fart knocker!
Are you baked or something?

119
00:08:29,893 --> 00:08:32,029
What the hell did you do,
you losers?

120
00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,134
Oh, boss,
I had a bit of a crash.

121
00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:38,936
What?

122
00:08:39,003 --> 00:08:42,339
You dimwit! You're good
for nothing, god darn it!

123
00:08:42,406 --> 00:08:45,175
I said dig around it,
not right through it!

124
00:08:45,242 --> 00:08:49,913
If that's broken, I'm gonna
nail you to that cross, buddy!

125
00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:51,982
Woah. What is this?

126
00:08:52,049 --> 00:08:55,853
I'm about to get mad,
you hear me? Really, really mad!

127
00:08:55,919 --> 00:08:57,321
Oh, gold!

128
00:08:57,388 --> 00:09:00,324
What the hell is going on,
Vorlicek? Huh?

129
00:09:00,391 --> 00:09:04,361
What the fuck? Is your tongue
stapled? What's wrong with you?

130
00:09:04,428 --> 00:09:05,996
Just an old stone thingy.

131
00:09:06,063 --> 00:09:07,298
- Some chick.
- Oh, no, no!

132
00:09:07,364 --> 00:09:10,000
Then it's something historical,
for Christ's sake!

133
00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:12,069
- Oh!
- I'll fix it.

134
00:09:12,136 --> 00:09:15,406
- I got some duct tape.
- Oh, for Christ's sake!

135
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,008
- <i>Hey, that's mine!</i>
- Now I have to get a specialist,

136
00:09:18,075 --> 00:09:20,144
and the goddam mayor
is gonna show up

137
00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:22,446
with those shiny teeth!

138
00:09:22,513 --> 00:09:26,016
- That's bad.
- Paperwork! Up the wazoo!

139
00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:28,185
I'll be stuck here forever!

140
00:09:30,321 --> 00:09:33,457
Oh, yeah. Showtime.

141
00:09:33,524 --> 00:09:41,465
Can't get it open.
It's stuck! Must be worth...

142
00:09:41,532 --> 00:09:44,435
Ring-a-ling-a-ling!
My bell doesn't work. Sorry.

143
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,371
Hey, watch what you're doing,
you mothersmucker.

144
00:10:12,162 --> 00:10:14,465
One, two, three, four.

145
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:18,502
Are you ready
for the inexplicable?

146
00:10:18,569 --> 00:10:20,437
Something that
will change the way

147
00:10:20,504 --> 00:10:23,140
we see the world around us?

148
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:26,510
Are you ready
for blood-curdling horror?

149
00:10:26,577 --> 00:10:30,314
Don't be scared. It won't be the
Letterman show here on stage.

150
00:10:30,381 --> 00:10:32,149
Letterman is good.

151
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:35,386
This is... <i>The Arabello Show</i>!

152
00:10:48,298 --> 00:10:50,334
Where is your mother?

153
00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:54,104
Wasn't it her brilliant scheme
to watch a lunchtime talk show?

154
00:10:54,171 --> 00:10:58,375
A big welcome
for Mademoiselle Ashtar, please.

155
00:10:58,442 --> 00:11:02,212
Miss Corpulentus here claims
to come from the planet Mars.

156
00:11:02,279 --> 00:11:06,083
Apparently, she's certainly had
her share of Mars Bars.

157
00:11:06,150 --> 00:11:08,218
Don't you think so?

158
00:11:10,454 --> 00:11:12,623
Mm-hm. That sounds tasty.

159
00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:16,360
Our second guest today is...
Vladimir Kaiser.

160
00:11:16,427 --> 00:11:19,630
He claims
that he's a real wizard.

161
00:11:19,696 --> 00:11:24,201
And our third guest for today
is Michael Waits.

162
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:27,538
You can't piss on hospitality!
I won't allow it!

163
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:31,275
Normally, you should know just
where the fine line is, but...

164
00:11:31,341 --> 00:11:33,177
that's none of our business

165
00:11:33,243 --> 00:11:35,946
in the
incredible <i>Arabello Show</i>!

166
00:11:38,515 --> 00:11:40,017
Ashtar! Why are you here?

167
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:44,521
Why didn't you apply
to <i>The Biggest Loser</i>?

168
00:11:44,588 --> 00:11:47,324
Ashtar
searching man.

169
00:11:47,391 --> 00:11:49,593
Don't you have online dating
on your planet?

170
00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:51,695
I think your problem
is the antenna, right?

171
00:11:51,763 --> 00:11:53,564
It doesn't get any reception?

172
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:58,302
But I always get
a great reception.

173
00:11:58,368 --> 00:11:59,804
Hey, watch it, you clumsy oaf!

174
00:11:59,871 --> 00:12:02,306
- I have to tell you about...
- Here I am!

175
00:12:02,372 --> 00:12:05,375
I couldn't stop laughing!

176
00:12:05,442 --> 00:12:09,646
Mom, where have you been?
This is, like, beyond boring.

177
00:12:09,713 --> 00:12:11,582
That's because
you're listening to Dr. Fisher

178
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,650
instead of to the show.

179
00:12:13,717 --> 00:12:16,587
Vanessa,
what were you thinking?

180
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,289
Klaus,
stop being a wisecracker.

181
00:12:19,356 --> 00:12:21,625
So, are you two
enjoying yourselves?

182
00:12:21,692 --> 00:12:24,328
Do you want me to kill myself?

183
00:12:24,394 --> 00:12:27,731
Ashtar, what is your Prince
Charming supposed to be like?

184
00:12:27,799 --> 00:12:30,634
Like me?

185
00:12:30,701 --> 00:12:33,704
Ashtar particular.

186
00:12:33,771 --> 00:12:38,242
- Just like you!
- Ha! You crazy chicken!

187
00:12:38,308 --> 00:12:40,812
No, you're the chicken.

188
00:12:40,879 --> 00:12:43,680
- Um...
- So, how's your friend?

189
00:12:43,747 --> 00:12:45,682
The friend
with the squeaky voice?

190
00:12:45,749 --> 00:12:49,353
What?
Tippie, the antique vendor?

191
00:12:49,419 --> 00:12:51,522
- Fool's gold!
- False goat?

192
00:12:51,588 --> 00:12:53,825
Are you deaf?
It's not real gold.

193
00:12:53,892 --> 00:12:58,095
- But that can't be true.
- Well, that's the way it is.

194
00:12:58,161 --> 00:13:00,697
Fool's gold,
battered leather, no key.

195
00:13:00,765 --> 00:13:05,302
Yuck! And there are
chicken bones on it.

196
00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:08,539
It's really worth
nothing at all?

197
00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:12,709
- Okay. Give me the book.
- Hm!

198
00:13:12,777 --> 00:13:15,579
- Here, take this.
- Snickerdoodle! A 20!

199
00:13:16,948 --> 00:13:20,785
Tch, tch, tch.
Now, make like a tree and leave.

200
00:13:22,452 --> 00:13:26,356
Freaking A! That is so awesome!

201
00:13:26,423 --> 00:13:28,358
Tippie, you're the cat's meow!

202
00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:32,563
Hokus pyokus.

203
00:13:32,629 --> 00:13:36,667
Oh-ho! Hokus pyokus!

204
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:41,171
Sauerkraut and oatmeal swirls,
I order you to bend your curls!

205
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,774
Hm!

206
00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:47,812
Ha! How was I?

207
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,213
Woo-hoo!

208
00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:53,584
- Hm!
- Yeah!

209
00:13:53,650 --> 00:13:57,187
Please, no applause for...
for the wizard.

210
00:13:57,254 --> 00:14:00,490
Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo!

211
00:14:00,858 --> 00:14:02,626
Bravo!

212
00:14:02,693 --> 00:14:05,529
Well, you seem to have
one fan in the audience.

213
00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:07,698
Then she should come up
on my stage.

214
00:14:07,765 --> 00:14:10,601
With her, I can do my
clairvoyant poppa-the-nuttsa!

215
00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:13,503
We're not interested
in your miniature "Rumburak."

216
00:14:13,570 --> 00:14:15,706
But Rumburak is of great length!

217
00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:18,776
Many woman has felt its magic!

218
00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:21,946
Oh, and speaking of schmeckels,
I got two of those.

219
00:14:22,013 --> 00:14:23,915
An aberration!

220
00:14:23,982 --> 00:14:25,716
Disgusting!

221
00:14:25,783 --> 00:14:27,484
Wow!

222
00:14:27,551 --> 00:14:28,786
That was a brilliant trick.

223
00:14:28,853 --> 00:14:32,890
I've seen better tricks
in my day. Glad he's gone!

224
00:14:32,957 --> 00:14:34,658
Mm-hm?

225
00:14:34,725 --> 00:14:36,794
Now, let us focus on you,
Michael.

226
00:14:36,861 --> 00:14:40,932
Mickel, Mackel, Muckel. Mookle,
Meekle Michael Waits!

227
00:14:40,999 --> 00:14:43,200
Tell us your story!

228
00:14:43,266 --> 00:14:45,903
Well, about 25 years ago,

229
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:49,606
was when we first... met them.

230
00:14:49,673 --> 00:14:52,309
Um... They were...

231
00:14:52,376 --> 00:14:56,747
small shadows
that appeared to be giggling.

232
00:14:56,814 --> 00:15:01,886
Who or what were these...
"small shadows", Michael?

233
00:15:01,953 --> 00:15:07,157
Well, they were naughty,
spiteful, impudent creatures.

234
00:15:07,959 --> 00:15:09,660
They were deformed.

235
00:15:09,726 --> 00:15:11,896
They were the trolls
of the night.

236
00:15:11,963 --> 00:15:15,399
Sounds like the usual
Baden-Baden inhabitants to me!

237
00:15:15,465 --> 00:15:18,770
That sounds like a really,
really bad movie.

238
00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:21,638
- Where are you going?
- I'm just going to the loo.

239
00:15:21,705 --> 00:15:22,974
It was awful,

240
00:15:23,041 --> 00:15:26,343
just worse than anything
the human brain can imagine.

241
00:15:27,444 --> 00:15:30,313
What a pervert!

242
00:15:30,380 --> 00:15:33,717
Oh, Mr. Kaiser!
Mr. Kaiser!

243
00:15:33,785 --> 00:15:36,988
Ah, lovely young woman
from audience.

244
00:15:37,055 --> 00:15:41,358
Yes. I am so sorry
you were interrupted earlier,

245
00:15:41,425 --> 00:15:46,396
as I would have loved to do that
with you, the mental polonaise.

246
00:15:46,463 --> 00:15:48,699
Mental poppa-the-nuttsa!

247
00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:51,668
Yes! I would have loved
to do that with you.

248
00:15:51,735 --> 00:15:55,439
Maybe later we could do
some, uh, exercises? No?

249
00:15:56,774 --> 00:15:58,508
Ah!

250
00:15:58,575 --> 00:16:00,845
Hold on. Where is that thing?

251
00:16:02,412 --> 00:16:04,548
Hello, Vanessa Mayer.

252
00:16:04,614 --> 00:16:07,952
- <i>Vanessa, it's me, your mother...</i>
- No, sorry. Wrong number.

253
00:16:08,019 --> 00:16:10,287
Oh, those creepy stalkers.

254
00:16:10,353 --> 00:16:12,489
And I would like
to introduce myself.

255
00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:14,524
- I am...
- Vanessa Mayer.

256
00:16:14,591 --> 00:16:17,327
How do you know that?

257
00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:20,497
My name is Vladimir Kaiser,
the lascivious psychic.

258
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:25,335
- Oh! That is so exciting!
- Here's my business card.

259
00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:28,305
If you're ever in need of wizard
for opening of car dealership

260
00:16:28,371 --> 00:16:31,809
or, you know, supermarket
or whatever, or an orgy,

261
00:16:31,876 --> 00:16:34,045
I can be found in Hotel Dorint.

262
00:16:34,112 --> 00:16:36,848
Oh! Great!

263
00:16:38,015 --> 00:16:39,851
Oh. Mm.

264
00:16:42,019 --> 00:16:44,254
It was... It was terrible.

265
00:16:46,124 --> 00:16:48,325
They ended up killing my wife.

266
00:16:48,391 --> 00:16:50,594
Oh! They didn't?

267
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:52,596
Oh, yes, they did.

268
00:16:52,662 --> 00:16:55,332
As they are not meat eaters,

269
00:16:55,398 --> 00:16:57,501
they turned my wife
into a plant.

270
00:16:57,567 --> 00:17:02,339
So that she became
half-plant, half-man,

271
00:17:02,405 --> 00:17:05,509
the goblins' favorite food.

272
00:17:05,575 --> 00:17:08,012
It all happened
in a place called Nilbog.

273
00:17:09,180 --> 00:17:10,313
Nilbog?

274
00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:12,984
Yeah, that's "goblin"
spelled backwards.

275
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:19,023
How does someone invent
so much shit?

276
00:17:19,090 --> 00:17:20,124
Really!

277
00:17:20,191 --> 00:17:22,492
It's been an incredible
show tonight.

278
00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:24,561
This guy's the weirdest
of them all!

279
00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:27,999
Sometimes, I have the feeling
there are only mad people here.

280
00:17:28,065 --> 00:17:29,901
Mad, mad, mad people!

281
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,069
Hey, man, how can I get you
to understand?

282
00:17:32,136 --> 00:17:33,905
I'm no maniac.

283
00:17:33,971 --> 00:17:36,640
Michael Waits wins
the Cuckoo Of The Week.

284
00:17:36,706 --> 00:17:38,642
The Cuckoo Cuckoo Cuckoo...

285
00:17:38,708 --> 00:17:40,011
Did I miss something?

286
00:17:40,077 --> 00:17:41,913
You're back
at the right moment.

287
00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:45,415
They are just conferring
the Cuckoo Of The Week.

288
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:48,685
- I got the Cuckoo Of The Week!
- Mom, I gotta go now.

289
00:17:48,753 --> 00:17:51,488
- But why?
- Charlie's waiting for me.

290
00:17:51,555 --> 00:17:53,390
This is terrific! Ha-ha.

291
00:17:53,456 --> 00:17:55,525
Charlie's her new
sexy boyfriend.

292
00:17:55,592 --> 00:17:59,663
You have to see him with your
own eyes. Come on, let's go.

293
00:17:59,729 --> 00:18:02,532
Look at those teeth!

294
00:18:02,599 --> 00:18:04,168
I'm a real dentist.

295
00:18:04,235 --> 00:18:06,137
Huh?

296
00:18:06,204 --> 00:18:08,940
Huh?

297
00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:14,444
Why are you all laughing?

298
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:17,681
These creatures can transform
themselves into human beings

299
00:18:17,747 --> 00:18:21,418
anytime and anywhere they want.

300
00:18:21,484 --> 00:18:25,089
Just remember,
goblins still exist!

301
00:18:25,156 --> 00:18:27,792
<i>Goblins still exist...
still exist.</i>

302
00:18:31,863 --> 00:18:35,432
- Wasn't that funny?
- No, not at all.

303
00:18:35,498 --> 00:18:38,069
- Hey, Charlie!
- Hey, babe.

304
00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:43,607
Klaus, this is the new boyfriend
of my daughter.

305
00:18:43,673 --> 00:18:46,043
- Isn't he handsome?
- Mom! Come on!

306
00:18:46,110 --> 00:18:50,214
Hi, everybody. I'm Charlie.
And you look like Columbo.

307
00:18:50,281 --> 00:18:51,581
Uh... Who?

308
00:18:51,648 --> 00:18:54,451
- Let's get outta here.
- Where are you going, kids?

309
00:18:54,517 --> 00:18:57,788
- Uh, to the white rock.
- Oh, the lover's rock!

310
00:18:57,855 --> 00:19:01,125
Ah! Natalja?

311
00:19:01,192 --> 00:19:04,694
Natalja! Auntie Helga is coming
at nine o'clock.

312
00:19:04,762 --> 00:19:06,696
You have to be back on time.

313
00:19:06,764 --> 00:19:08,732
- Probably not!
- Oh, shoot!

314
00:19:12,837 --> 00:19:14,805
Fascinating! Fascinating!

315
00:19:14,872 --> 00:19:17,474
What do you think?
How old is this thing?

316
00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:19,609
Hard to tell, Mayor Keller.

317
00:19:19,676 --> 00:19:21,178
- Judging by its breasts...
- <i>Oh, hello!</i>

318
00:19:21,245 --> 00:19:25,182
- ..I'd say 600, 700 years.
- Well I'll be!

319
00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:27,584
Do you really think
this is a depiction

320
00:19:27,651 --> 00:19:30,121
of the legendary
Marquess of Baden?

321
00:19:30,187 --> 00:19:32,622
- Mm-hm.
- Ah!

322
00:19:32,689 --> 00:19:35,860
What a find! What a find!

323
00:19:35,927 --> 00:19:37,962
Miss Hermann, Miss Hermann!

324
00:19:38,029 --> 00:19:41,165
Call the press! Call the press!
Call the press! Call the press!

325
00:19:41,232 --> 00:19:43,834
Ooh, yes!

326
00:19:43,901 --> 00:19:45,770
Moving on the press conference!

327
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:48,906
- Of course, Monsieur Mayor.
- Picture, quick

328
00:19:48,973 --> 00:19:52,243
- Here's my helmet.
- Tsk! Ridiculous!

329
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:54,946
No, no, just me!
Go, go, go, go, go!

330
00:19:56,713 --> 00:19:58,682
<i>Come a
little closer.</i>

331
00:19:58,748 --> 00:20:01,185
<i>Can't you get me
out of here already?</i>

332
00:20:01,252 --> 00:20:03,520
<i>I think we can
work something out!</i>

333
00:20:04,989 --> 00:20:06,656
Ha!

334
00:20:06,723 --> 00:20:08,591
Hey, we gotta get this broad
outta here today.

335
00:20:08,658 --> 00:20:12,529
- The shift starts at seven.
- Oh, the hoi polloi.

336
00:20:12,595 --> 00:20:13,831
This "broad",
just to quote you,

337
00:20:13,898 --> 00:20:16,533
is older than your great
grandmother and therefore,

338
00:20:16,599 --> 00:20:20,771
so valuable and historical
you couldn't dream of it.

339
00:20:20,838 --> 00:20:23,707
Yeah, all right, take her off
to some museum or something.

340
00:20:23,774 --> 00:20:25,675
My boys will resurrect
the crucifix

341
00:20:25,742 --> 00:20:27,912
then we can do
what needs to be done.

342
00:20:27,979 --> 00:20:31,614
You know what I'm thinking,
wisenheimer?

343
00:20:31,681 --> 00:20:36,020
Baden-Baden could be full
of treasures, and they're mine.

344
00:20:36,087 --> 00:20:38,688
So, don't forget.

345
00:20:38,756 --> 00:20:41,759
I am the mayor, ay, ay, ay!

346
00:20:41,826 --> 00:20:44,661
Miss Hermann?
Miss Herrmann?

347
00:20:44,728 --> 00:20:45,930
What a pain!

348
00:20:45,997 --> 00:20:47,999
Listen, Hansi.
Put all this in the warehouse.

349
00:20:48,065 --> 00:20:51,335
- I want you to be careful.
- I can see the headlines.

350
00:20:51,402 --> 00:20:54,671
Only three weeks in office
and already the Super-Mayor

351
00:20:54,738 --> 00:20:59,076
helps provide Baden-Baden
with a World Cultural Hermitage.

352
00:20:59,143 --> 00:21:01,578
I can see it, too.

353
00:21:01,644 --> 00:21:04,714
The two of us!

354
00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:09,020
So good that
you called me, Miss Tippie.

355
00:21:13,157 --> 00:21:16,060
But how can it be that the pages
are stuck together?

356
00:21:17,061 --> 00:21:18,829
Give me that!

357
00:21:28,806 --> 00:21:31,075
Ghastly!

358
00:21:31,142 --> 00:21:33,811
That book is a toaster!

359
00:21:33,878 --> 00:21:37,915
There is a legend,
an old forgotten legend,

360
00:21:37,982 --> 00:21:39,884
about a magic book.

361
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:41,852
A little like the Smurfs.

362
00:21:41,919 --> 00:21:44,922
And normally, I don't take
such tales so seriously,

363
00:21:44,989 --> 00:21:48,759
but this book seems
to withhold a magic aura.

364
00:21:48,826 --> 00:21:51,028
This ancient symbol
of the Necronomicon

365
00:21:51,095 --> 00:21:54,031
was used in black magic
to manipulate reality.

366
00:21:54,098 --> 00:21:57,168
Wow! What do you think
I should do with it?

367
00:21:57,234 --> 00:21:59,937
The oddest things
are bestsellers on eBay.

368
00:22:00,004 --> 00:22:04,108
Are you completely insane?
You can't just sell this book!

369
00:22:05,342 --> 00:22:07,845
This thing is perhaps

370
00:22:07,912 --> 00:22:11,916
the greatest discovery ever
from Baden-Baden.

371
00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:14,051
- Baden-Baden?
- Baden-Baden?

372
00:22:14,118 --> 00:22:15,786
Baden-Baden.

373
00:22:15,853 --> 00:22:18,789
- From the discoveries made here.
- Woah!

374
00:22:18,856 --> 00:22:22,159
- Can I take this rarity home?
- No!

375
00:22:22,226 --> 00:22:25,329
Then you'll have to take me
as well, and I like wine.

376
00:22:25,396 --> 00:22:28,698
For a start, you'll have to get
me all sloshed or something.

377
00:22:28,766 --> 00:22:31,902
You can only touch our little
precious if there's hanky panky.

378
00:22:31,969 --> 00:22:35,239
- <i>This time he won't get away.</i>
- <i>What drug is she on?</i>

379
00:22:35,306 --> 00:22:38,342
♪ Yes, I give this book to you ♪

380
00:22:38,409 --> 00:22:41,345
♪ On just one condition ♪

381
00:22:41,412 --> 00:22:44,048
♪ Promise me I will take part ♪

382
00:22:44,115 --> 00:22:47,084
♪ In your examination ♪

383
00:22:47,151 --> 00:22:49,954
♪ What about tonight? ♪

384
00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:52,022
♪ What about tonight? ♪

385
00:22:52,089 --> 00:22:55,126
No, no! Tonight, I can't.

386
00:22:55,192 --> 00:22:57,294
I-I have to repair my bicycle.

387
00:22:57,361 --> 00:23:00,131
♪ What about tomorrow? ♪

388
00:23:00,197 --> 00:23:01,832
No, no!

389
00:23:01,899 --> 00:23:04,235
I already have
a dinner appointment

390
00:23:04,301 --> 00:23:06,237
- with Madame Mayer.
- Oh.

391
00:23:06,303 --> 00:23:08,906
I'll stop by after that,
in the afternoon.

392
00:23:08,973 --> 00:23:13,944
I will have my photo-apparatus
with me, so I can take a photo.

393
00:23:14,011 --> 00:23:17,348
- Of me?
- No, of the book, what else?

394
00:23:17,414 --> 00:23:19,116
Mm.

395
00:23:19,183 --> 00:23:24,088
But now I... I have to leave...
because of my hike.

396
00:23:24,155 --> 00:23:26,123
My bike! My bike!

397
00:23:27,324 --> 00:23:30,895
You know, uh...
Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft!

398
00:23:30,961 --> 00:23:34,131
Zz, zz, zz, zz, zz, zz!
Ch-ch-ch-ch! You know.

399
00:23:34,198 --> 00:23:35,966
- Uh-huh?
- Yeah.

400
00:23:36,033 --> 00:23:38,035
Well, that's wonderful.
I'll see you tomorrow!

401
00:23:38,102 --> 00:23:41,372
But you have to
look after this book!

402
00:23:41,438 --> 00:23:45,109
- Huh?
- I'll come back tomorrow.

403
00:23:45,176 --> 00:23:48,445
Tomorrow!
To you!

404
00:23:48,512 --> 00:23:51,448
I'll come back... to you.

405
00:23:51,515 --> 00:23:54,919
Yeah. Oh.

406
00:23:54,985 --> 00:23:57,988
Oh!

407
00:24:04,295 --> 00:24:06,030
Ooh!

408
00:24:06,096 --> 00:24:08,299
I wonder if my mom
would like her.

409
00:24:12,469 --> 00:24:14,071
<i>Hansi.</i>

410
00:24:14,138 --> 00:24:17,942
<i>You haven't seen my book,
by any chance?</i>

411
00:24:18,008 --> 00:24:20,743
<i>Have you, Hansi?</i>

412
00:24:23,180 --> 00:24:24,481
Oh, man!

413
00:24:26,016 --> 00:24:28,118
<i>Oh, Hansi!</i>

414
00:24:33,090 --> 00:24:37,127
<i>Come to me, be all mine.</i>

415
00:24:37,194 --> 00:24:40,064
<i>I was too lonely
in my lair,</i>

416
00:24:40,130 --> 00:24:43,534
<i>had neither love
nor any air.</i>

417
00:24:43,601 --> 00:24:48,172
<i>Now, kiss me,
awaken my fire!</i>

418
00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:54,511
<i>Yes! But take heed,
for I'm a monster indeed!</i>

419
00:25:11,362 --> 00:25:14,064
You certainly didn't last
very long!

420
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,104
This is your end,
and our beginning!

421
00:25:58,642 --> 00:26:00,577
What now?

422
00:26:01,612 --> 00:26:03,314
Hello?

423
00:26:03,380 --> 00:26:06,283
<i>Natalia?</i>

424
00:26:06,350 --> 00:26:09,253
Mom?
Why are you breathing so hard?

425
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,989
<i>Because you're still
not home, young lady.</i>

426
00:26:12,056 --> 00:26:13,991
Aunt Helga will be here
any moment.

427
00:26:14,058 --> 00:26:16,560
Oh, Mom, do I really have to?

428
00:26:16,627 --> 00:26:19,463
Don't let your auntie hear that.
You know how sensitive she is

429
00:26:19,530 --> 00:26:21,899
- Be back in half an hour.
- Yeah, but...

430
00:26:21,965 --> 00:26:24,902
Get your ass home now. You can
bring Charlie if you like.

431
00:26:24,968 --> 00:26:26,537
I have wine in the fridge.

432
00:26:26,603 --> 00:26:29,440
Helga and I will be on
the terrace waiting for you.

433
00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:33,210
- Don't be late.
- I have to leave now.

434
00:26:33,277 --> 00:26:34,578
Oh, come on!

435
00:26:34,645 --> 00:26:38,382
Why'd I even bother
to wear my heart shirt, then?

436
00:26:41,485 --> 00:26:45,689
Babe, the heck with it.
I'll drive you home.

437
00:26:45,757 --> 00:26:47,491
We'll do it another time.

438
00:26:47,558 --> 00:26:50,928
But first,
I gotta drain the main vein.

439
00:26:50,994 --> 00:26:53,330
Oh, yuck!

440
00:26:55,499 --> 00:26:57,634
Ah! The sniff!

441
00:26:57,701 --> 00:27:00,571
The smell of a virgin
is in my nostrils.

442
00:27:00,637 --> 00:27:03,674
If I follow my senses,
there will be no defenses.

443
00:27:03,741 --> 00:27:07,444
Oh, virgin!
Virgin, where are you?

444
00:27:07,511 --> 00:27:09,046
Charlie?

445
00:27:21,625 --> 00:27:25,095
Come! You are all mine.

446
00:27:26,697 --> 00:27:28,665
Ha!

447
00:27:28,732 --> 00:27:31,001
Are you crazy?

448
00:27:32,603 --> 00:27:34,972
You almost gave me
a heart attack!

449
00:27:35,038 --> 00:27:37,474
What is wrong with you?

450
00:27:37,541 --> 00:27:39,977
Hey, I'm just the victim
of a nightly frenzy.

451
00:27:40,043 --> 00:27:42,980
My oldest instincts
are crying out for you.

452
00:27:44,615 --> 00:27:46,984
Go release your instincts
in the forest!

453
00:27:47,050 --> 00:27:50,988
Are you nuts? You
certainly are endangering mine.

454
00:27:51,054 --> 00:27:54,425
I have to go home.
Like, right now!

455
00:27:54,491 --> 00:27:58,462
Come on! Asshole.

456
00:27:58,529 --> 00:28:03,000
A male virgin is
the key ingredient for my plan.

457
00:28:03,066 --> 00:28:05,436
I have to free my brothers

458
00:28:05,502 --> 00:28:08,572
from the dimension
of banishment.

459
00:28:11,475 --> 00:28:13,143
- Clinky-dinky!
- Clinky-dinky!

460
00:28:16,815 --> 00:28:19,716
Helga, dear.
I met a real magician today.

461
00:28:19,784 --> 00:28:24,087
- With hunchback and wart?
- His name is Vladimir Kaiser.

462
00:28:24,154 --> 00:28:25,790
He's a quack, a spellcaster,

463
00:28:25,857 --> 00:28:28,292
and I think he's sleeping
at the Hotel Dorint.

464
00:28:28,358 --> 00:28:32,262
Oh, Vladimir Kaiser!
Is he handsome?

465
00:28:32,329 --> 00:28:34,164
Of course not.

466
00:28:34,231 --> 00:28:36,300
Has he already...
shown you his rabbit?

467
00:28:36,366 --> 00:28:38,268
No, not yet!

468
00:28:39,203 --> 00:28:40,772
Hi.

469
00:28:40,839 --> 00:28:43,240
Oh, the fine lady
shows up at last.

470
00:28:44,107 --> 00:28:45,676
Natalja.

471
00:28:48,378 --> 00:28:51,315
So, you're Natalja's
new boyfriend.

472
00:28:55,787 --> 00:28:57,822
Hi, my name's Charlie.

473
00:28:57,889 --> 00:29:01,592
Charlie! What a rebellious name.

474
00:29:01,658 --> 00:29:03,594
Ooh, look at these tits!

475
00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:06,296
Your daughter really
takes after her father.

476
00:29:06,363 --> 00:29:07,698
- Ooh!
- She's got my tits.

477
00:29:07,765 --> 00:29:11,268
Because you take after
your father.

478
00:29:11,335 --> 00:29:13,337
You have the same taste
as your mother.

479
00:29:13,403 --> 00:29:16,607
She was a vamp at school.
She stole every guy of mine.

480
00:29:16,673 --> 00:29:22,346
What do you mean I was? I still
get any man I want. Any man!

481
00:29:22,412 --> 00:29:24,648
What a slut!

482
00:29:24,715 --> 00:29:26,751
Mom! Shut up!

483
00:29:26,818 --> 00:29:28,853
You are so embarrassing!
You act like a child!

484
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,588
- It was a joke!
- Good night, ladies.

485
00:29:31,655 --> 00:29:34,324
- Salut, Charlie.
- Salut!

486
00:29:34,391 --> 00:29:37,194
Why, you floosy!
Shall we get another bottle?

487
00:29:37,261 --> 00:29:39,096
Oh, yes, yes, yes.

488
00:29:39,162 --> 00:29:42,699
That female
is the ideal host for me.

489
00:29:44,735 --> 00:29:47,337
- Open up the good stuff.
- You'll drink anything anyway.

490
00:29:52,709 --> 00:29:55,813
Who put a vase here?

491
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,216
Oh, I feel so different today.

492
00:30:01,251 --> 00:30:02,754
My medicine.

493
00:30:03,788 --> 00:30:05,389
Delicious.

494
00:30:06,423 --> 00:30:08,826
You are delicious!

495
00:30:08,893 --> 00:30:14,231
Amei, omown, youmou, nomow!

496
00:30:16,567 --> 00:30:18,903
Vanessa?

497
00:30:18,970 --> 00:30:21,371
Oh! Did the bottle pop on you?

498
00:30:22,807 --> 00:30:25,242
Have you gone vegetarian on me?

499
00:30:32,951 --> 00:30:36,286
Are you a virgin? Hm.

500
00:30:36,353 --> 00:30:38,488
You are a virgin!

501
00:30:42,292 --> 00:30:43,861
You're aware those flowers
are fake.

502
00:30:43,928 --> 00:30:47,297
Can't imagine
the plastic tastes good.

503
00:30:47,364 --> 00:30:50,200
I think they're perfect
as they are.

504
00:30:50,267 --> 00:30:52,202
Oh.

505
00:30:52,269 --> 00:30:54,939
Shall I get you some salt,
sweetheart?

506
00:30:55,006 --> 00:30:58,342
- Huh?
- Freaking salt, I hate it!

507
00:30:58,408 --> 00:31:01,779
You sound just like
Aunt Barbara, always low-sodium.

508
00:31:03,380 --> 00:31:06,784
- Hold this, you old maid!
- Oh, Vanessa.

509
00:31:06,851 --> 00:31:09,219
That's, uh... so sweet of you.

510
00:31:12,289 --> 00:31:16,326
Goosey maid,
so well-behaved,

511
00:31:16,393 --> 00:31:18,830
with my hands upon your spine,

512
00:31:18,896 --> 00:31:23,533
my power reigns,
your will is mine!

513
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:27,404
- Now, get me a broom!
- Wonderful. I love brooms.

514
00:31:52,362 --> 00:31:54,665
The Mummel Lake!

515
00:32:02,506 --> 00:32:03,740
Ha-ha!

516
00:32:15,019 --> 00:32:18,455
Flammen, flammake...

517
00:32:18,522 --> 00:32:19,757
flammauk!

518
00:32:25,395 --> 00:32:28,465
It rustles among the reeds!

519
00:32:28,532 --> 00:32:32,036
It tinkles between the kelp!

520
00:32:32,103 --> 00:32:36,406
Dark water and green clover.

521
00:32:36,473 --> 00:32:41,344
King of the lake,
I beg you, come over!

522
00:32:56,493 --> 00:32:59,329
Who's doing
all this bad rhyming?

523
00:33:00,363 --> 00:33:02,432
I hate being woken up.

524
00:33:02,499 --> 00:33:05,602
Who just ruined
my deep-sea nap?

525
00:33:05,669 --> 00:33:09,774
It was me, oh, mighty king.

526
00:33:13,376 --> 00:33:15,378
I'll make roasted duck of you.

527
00:33:16,613 --> 00:33:18,548
Huh? What the hell?

528
00:33:23,821 --> 00:33:26,556
What is this?

529
00:33:26,623 --> 00:33:28,458
You are a troll?

530
00:33:28,525 --> 00:33:32,729
They say that far and wide, you
have the best nose of them all!

531
00:33:32,797 --> 00:33:34,866
You're slimier than any toad.

532
00:33:34,932 --> 00:33:37,467
You give me the shivers,
you scum.

533
00:33:37,534 --> 00:33:41,773
You must urgently find me
the old Book of Magic.

534
00:33:41,839 --> 00:33:43,775
I must do nothing!

535
00:33:43,841 --> 00:33:46,878
You will be rewarded
generously, of course.

536
00:33:46,944 --> 00:33:49,914
I doubt you've got
anything to offer.

537
00:33:49,981 --> 00:33:53,751
Trolls are experts
at stealing children.

538
00:33:53,818 --> 00:33:54,852
Hm!

539
00:33:54,919 --> 00:33:56,653
And if I'm not mistaken,

540
00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:00,892
Your Fishiness
loves the little babies.

541
00:34:00,958 --> 00:34:06,764
I'll show you some fishiness!
But your offer sounds promising.

542
00:34:08,032 --> 00:34:09,733
Bring me a baby,

543
00:34:09,801 --> 00:34:12,602
and then I shall look for
the book you seek.

544
00:34:15,940 --> 00:34:19,709
Your Majesty is so gracious,
it shall be my honor

545
00:34:19,777 --> 00:34:22,712
to bring you the fairest
and fattest infant

546
00:34:22,780 --> 00:34:24,849
that ever saw the light of day.

547
00:34:24,916 --> 00:34:27,919
But not as fat
a blowfish, got it?

548
00:34:27,985 --> 00:34:31,721
I won't disappoint you,
oh, warlord of the waters,

549
00:34:31,789 --> 00:34:34,624
ruler of the lakes, the rivers,
and the fishes.

550
00:34:34,691 --> 00:34:36,060
You forgot something.

551
00:34:36,127 --> 00:34:39,529
Just call me
Don Poseidon,

552
00:34:39,596 --> 00:34:42,432
the king who loves
spreading hell and high water!

553
00:34:50,875 --> 00:34:54,544
Brew a concoction
from this flower.

554
00:34:54,611 --> 00:34:56,580
The frog king gave this to me.

555
00:34:56,646 --> 00:34:59,749
Listen carefully,
this is of prime importance.

556
00:35:02,586 --> 00:35:05,089
After ten minutes have passed,

557
00:35:05,156 --> 00:35:09,794
you have to add exactly
222 drops of this water,

558
00:35:09,861 --> 00:35:11,762
and not one more!

559
00:35:11,829 --> 00:35:13,998
Looks like ink,
but the water is taken directly

560
00:35:14,065 --> 00:35:17,034
- from the Mummel Lake.
- How disgusting!

561
00:35:17,101 --> 00:35:21,605
But the spell says I must do
everything you say.

562
00:35:21,671 --> 00:35:23,640
Now, there's only
one thing left to do.

563
00:35:23,707 --> 00:35:25,910
- That would be?
- We have to find a newborn!

564
00:35:25,977 --> 00:35:27,845
Oh, just make one.

565
00:35:27,912 --> 00:35:31,082
You need a baby? Wait, aren't
you a bit too old for that?

566
00:35:31,148 --> 00:35:33,084
- I'm 947!
- Oh.

567
00:35:33,150 --> 00:35:36,787
- I've just come of age!
- Mm-hm.

568
00:35:36,854 --> 00:35:39,723
- Look it up in the newspaper.
- Newspaper?

569
00:35:39,790 --> 00:35:43,593
In the newspaper,
they have a baby department.

570
00:35:43,660 --> 00:35:47,164
There are always announcements
of newborn babies on page 13.

571
00:35:50,134 --> 00:35:53,737
A flower a day
keeps the doctor away.

572
00:35:53,804 --> 00:35:56,774
- We can make moonshine.
- Ah, ha-ha!

573
00:35:56,841 --> 00:35:59,010
- Found one.
- A-ha! Oh.

574
00:35:59,076 --> 00:36:01,145
Morning, Mom.
Morning, Aunt Helga.

575
00:36:01,212 --> 00:36:05,749
Good morning, sweetheart.
Want some tea for breakfast?

576
00:36:05,816 --> 00:36:09,186
I'm just brewing some up.
Early blossom sludge.

577
00:36:09,253 --> 00:36:12,256
No, thanks. I'm meeting
Jenny for breakfast.

578
00:36:12,323 --> 00:36:15,226
Not so fast, spring chicken.

579
00:36:15,293 --> 00:36:17,762
Is your boyfriend coming, too?

580
00:36:17,828 --> 00:36:19,997
Yeah, like I'm gonna
tell <i>you</i> that!

581
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,434
What an insolent offspring!

582
00:36:30,875 --> 00:36:33,110
What is that smell?

583
00:36:44,155 --> 00:36:45,722
Ooh, they're good!

584
00:36:45,790 --> 00:36:48,192
We'll find someone
to buy your cookies.

585
00:36:48,259 --> 00:36:51,028
- If you think so, Granny?
- Ooh, look!

586
00:36:51,095 --> 00:36:54,999
See that blonde? That's
my neighbor, Madame Mayer.

587
00:36:55,066 --> 00:36:57,467
Vanessa! Hello!

588
00:36:59,837 --> 00:37:02,073
Huh?

589
00:37:02,139 --> 00:37:05,309
For heaven's sake Vanessa,
what are you doing there?

590
00:37:08,145 --> 00:37:11,148
Ew! What are you putting
in your mouth?

591
00:37:11,215 --> 00:37:16,553
Disgusting! I know you'll put
any man in your mouth! Bleugh!

592
00:37:16,619 --> 00:37:19,023
- But trash, too?
- Vanessa?

593
00:37:19,957 --> 00:37:21,092
Huh?

594
00:37:21,158 --> 00:37:24,594
Pardon, Madame,
Vanessa's on a compost diet.

595
00:37:24,661 --> 00:37:26,596
- Haven't you heard of it?
- No, I haven't.

596
00:37:26,663 --> 00:37:29,934
- It's the newest thing.
- Poo-ey!

597
00:37:30,001 --> 00:37:33,104
Eugh, it's like eating poo!
That's a diet?

598
00:37:33,170 --> 00:37:35,039
Eating right out
of the garbage can?

599
00:37:35,106 --> 00:37:37,908
- I think she's pregnant.
- How would you know?

600
00:37:37,975 --> 00:37:41,045
Yes. Organic waste tastes good
to pregnant women.

601
00:37:41,112 --> 00:37:44,348
Vanessa, darling!

602
00:37:44,415 --> 00:37:46,150
Are you pregnant?

603
00:37:46,217 --> 00:37:50,254
Oh, I'm Helga. Helga Wolf.

604
00:37:50,321 --> 00:37:52,023
I'm Vanessa's cousin,

605
00:37:52,089 --> 00:37:55,625
and currently helping her
through this phase.

606
00:37:55,692 --> 00:37:58,963
- I'm Béatrice, the neighbor.
- Hm, hm, hm.

607
00:38:02,665 --> 00:38:05,702
Bleugh! Bleugh!

608
00:38:05,770 --> 00:38:08,205
The banana bread is ready!

609
00:38:08,272 --> 00:38:11,008
To stop the bitchin',
just get in the kitchen!

610
00:38:11,075 --> 00:38:12,376
Ow!

611
00:38:15,678 --> 00:38:17,948
Count them precisely.

612
00:38:18,015 --> 00:38:23,020
Of this water 222 drops.

613
00:38:23,087 --> 00:38:26,689
But this is only possible
by singing the counting song.

614
00:38:26,757 --> 00:38:28,225
The counting song?

615
00:38:28,292 --> 00:38:29,760
Yeah.

616
00:38:32,463 --> 00:38:34,999
♪ One, two, three-four-five ♪

617
00:38:35,066 --> 00:38:38,102
♪ Seven, six, eight, nine ♪

618
00:38:38,169 --> 00:38:42,039
Yeah!
♪ Nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, 14 15 ♪

619
00:38:42,106 --> 00:38:44,674
♪ 16, 17, 18, 19 ♪

620
00:38:44,741 --> 00:38:46,977
♪ 20, 21, 22... ♪

621
00:38:48,711 --> 00:38:50,214
♪ 22, 23, 24... ♪

622
00:38:53,384 --> 00:38:55,786
Quick, open the door.
Otherwise I'll miscount.

623
00:38:55,853 --> 00:38:58,389
♪ 27, 28... ♪

624
00:38:58,456 --> 00:39:00,324
Who is ringing
my bell?

625
00:39:00,391 --> 00:39:02,760
Vanessa! What happened
to your voice? Are you ill?

626
00:39:02,827 --> 00:39:05,262
Oh, Vanessa is...

627
00:39:05,329 --> 00:39:07,164
I'm hoarse.

628
00:39:07,231 --> 00:39:09,300
Oh, is that your lovely
cousin, Helga?

629
00:39:09,366 --> 00:39:11,302
Bonjour, Madame!

630
00:39:11,368 --> 00:39:13,204
Hi!

631
00:39:13,270 --> 00:39:15,072
What's that magical smell?

632
00:39:15,139 --> 00:39:16,706
Arabic tea?

633
00:39:16,774 --> 00:39:20,144
44, 46, 71.

634
00:39:20,211 --> 00:39:21,345
74!

635
00:39:21,412 --> 00:39:24,048
Agh! I'm afraid you have
to leave now, monsieur.

636
00:39:24,115 --> 00:39:27,451
- But what about our lunch date?
- Cancelled!

637
00:39:27,518 --> 00:39:29,086
Huh?

638
00:39:29,153 --> 00:39:34,091
Béatrice, I got it by now.
She ate garbage.

639
00:39:34,158 --> 00:39:38,262
No, no, no.
Not just ate it, César.

640
00:39:38,329 --> 00:39:41,098
She engorged it.

641
00:39:41,165 --> 00:39:43,733
And that is definitely
beyond normal!

642
00:39:43,801 --> 00:39:48,305
Good Lord, Béatrice!
You are such a gossip queen!

643
00:39:48,372 --> 00:39:51,242
And every single time,
you over-exaggerate.

644
00:39:51,308 --> 00:39:54,711
I can tell there's something
foul at the Mayers'.

645
00:39:54,778 --> 00:39:58,382
A business, with all these men
coming and going, and now...

646
00:39:58,449 --> 00:40:03,254
Hah! I know, I know, I know!
She's pregnant.

647
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,290
- And she eats garbage!
- And so what?

648
00:40:06,357 --> 00:40:10,261
The garbage goes into her mouth,
and comes right out of yours!

649
00:40:10,327 --> 00:40:11,728
Agh! Stupid man!

650
00:40:19,036 --> 00:40:23,140
Isn't that Dr. Fischer?
I'm gonna tell him everything.

651
00:40:23,207 --> 00:40:25,776
He's an educated man.
He'll listen to me.

652
00:40:25,843 --> 00:40:27,111
Tippie?

653
00:40:27,178 --> 00:40:29,480
- <i>Yes?</i>
- My appointment is canceled.

654
00:40:29,547 --> 00:40:31,882
- <i>Oh, really?</i>
- If you like, uh...

655
00:40:31,949 --> 00:40:34,285
Would you mind
bringing the book perhaps?

656
00:40:34,351 --> 00:40:36,453
- I can cook a meal.
- <i>I am so there!</i>

657
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,856
- Wonderful! I... Oh.
- Yoo-hoo!

658
00:40:38,923 --> 00:40:42,927
Good doctor! Please, please.
Yeah, please, wait, wait.

659
00:40:42,993 --> 00:40:44,795
Wait, wait.

660
00:40:46,530 --> 00:40:49,533
Now tell me, weren't you
just at the Mayers'?

661
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:53,304
Yes, indeed.
Madame Mayer doesn't feel well.

662
00:40:53,370 --> 00:40:55,839
- She seems to be malaise.
- Malaise?

663
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:58,409
Malaise?

664
00:40:58,475 --> 00:41:00,844
Oh, so, that's what it's called.

665
00:41:00,911 --> 00:41:04,315
That must be the reason
she ate garbage this morning.

666
00:41:04,381 --> 00:41:07,851
I'm always telling her
not to eat that much rubbish.

667
00:41:07,918 --> 00:41:12,056
Yes. Luckily,
it doesn't affect her figure.

668
00:41:12,122 --> 00:41:15,793
That's gross, disgusting!

669
00:41:15,859 --> 00:41:20,931
I'm not talking about fast food.
I mean... real garbage!

670
00:41:20,998 --> 00:41:26,103
Organic waste.
Scraps. Refuse. Dirt.

671
00:41:26,170 --> 00:41:28,339
Do you always
trash talk like that?

672
00:41:30,541 --> 00:41:32,409
Agh!

673
00:41:35,079 --> 00:41:37,414
222.

674
00:41:37,481 --> 00:41:39,883
- Tea time!
- It's done!

675
00:41:40,951 --> 00:41:43,821
Oh, I'll bring some cups!

676
00:41:43,887 --> 00:41:46,824
I'm getting us two mugs,
and then we'll do some drugs!

677
00:41:46,890 --> 00:41:49,026
Homood, mamagic, quimick!

678
00:41:49,893 --> 00:41:53,564
Ha. Perfect!

679
00:41:53,631 --> 00:41:56,033
Magic hood.

680
00:41:58,902 --> 00:42:00,838
Vanessa?

681
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:07,378
Vanessa!
Did you go to the bathroom?

682
00:42:07,444 --> 00:42:11,148
No, you birdbrain.
I'm gonna get a baby.

683
00:42:19,156 --> 00:42:21,625
Something's wrong with you,
Vanessa Mayer.

684
00:42:21,692 --> 00:42:24,495
And I'll be the one
to find it out.

685
00:42:30,334 --> 00:42:32,903
Ah, here it is.

686
00:42:41,945 --> 00:42:44,648
Hey, my little darling.

687
00:42:44,715 --> 00:42:46,550
It's time to go to sleep.

688
00:42:49,086 --> 00:42:51,588
Mommy's gonna take
a little nap as well.

689
00:43:04,068 --> 00:43:07,037
Huh?

690
00:43:44,241 --> 00:43:46,143
Shouldn't forget my hood.

691
00:43:47,177 --> 00:43:50,247
And my new baby!

692
00:43:50,314 --> 00:43:55,419
Oh, coochy, coochy, coochy-coo.

693
00:43:55,486 --> 00:43:59,356
Coochy-coo! Coochy, coochy-coo!

694
00:44:06,063 --> 00:44:09,066
Ouch!
I'd kill for a cup of tea!

695
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:13,036
I'll get it!

696
00:44:13,103 --> 00:44:15,406
Don't let them sell you
a vacuum cleaner!

697
00:44:15,472 --> 00:44:17,174
Okay.

698
00:44:19,276 --> 00:44:21,245
Oh, Charlie.

699
00:44:21,311 --> 00:44:23,213
This house needs a troll.

700
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:26,917
Oh. That's so sweet.

701
00:44:27,451 --> 00:44:28,986
Thank you so much.

702
00:44:34,124 --> 00:44:36,527
You know, I've been behaving
pretty badly.

703
00:44:36,593 --> 00:44:39,263
I don't want to spook you.

704
00:44:39,329 --> 00:44:43,233
You really mean a lot to me,
and... if I lose my virginity,

705
00:44:43,300 --> 00:44:44,701
I want it to be you.

706
00:44:44,769 --> 00:44:48,172
You're so sexy.
Should we go to your room?

707
00:44:49,406 --> 00:44:51,074
Isn't this too fast?

708
00:44:53,277 --> 00:44:55,345
You want it, too, don't you?

709
00:45:00,484 --> 00:45:02,486
Hm?

710
00:45:02,553 --> 00:45:05,155
Uh... Did you bring protection?

711
00:45:05,222 --> 00:45:07,024
In extra large.

712
00:45:10,093 --> 00:45:12,329
- Oh, Auntie Helga's here, too?
- Ha-ha-ha.

713
00:45:12,396 --> 00:45:14,498
Let's go have
some fun upstairs.

714
00:45:16,133 --> 00:45:18,068
Uh-oh.

715
00:45:18,135 --> 00:45:21,104
Well, butter my butt
and call me a biscuit!

716
00:45:22,539 --> 00:45:25,042
Look at the mayor's brooch!

717
00:45:25,108 --> 00:45:29,613
The mayor's brooch? It looks
just like the book's seal.

718
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:34,318
Yes, but have you read
what the article says?

719
00:45:34,384 --> 00:45:36,487
"The great mayor,
Engelhardt Keller,

720
00:45:36,553 --> 00:45:40,457
presents the 700-year-old statue
of Marquess Katherine,

721
00:45:40,524 --> 00:45:45,195
which, apparently,
he dug out himself."

722
00:45:45,262 --> 00:45:47,498
I once had my hands on a book.

723
00:45:47,564 --> 00:45:50,567
It said something
about that statue,

724
00:45:50,634 --> 00:45:53,437
statue of the Marquess of Baden.

725
00:45:53,504 --> 00:45:57,307
Uno momento!
That means "wait a moment."

726
00:45:57,374 --> 00:46:01,478
Ah, yes! Here it is.
Ha-ha. "The Sagas of Baden."

727
00:46:01,545 --> 00:46:06,617
And so that book
is about my book?

728
00:46:06,683 --> 00:46:12,556
Mm. And here it is,
what I've been looking for.

729
00:46:12,623 --> 00:46:16,193
"The Story of Burkhart Keller."

730
00:46:16,260 --> 00:46:21,298
He was a chivalrous ancestor
of our mayor.

731
00:46:23,667 --> 00:46:27,471
<i>"Once upon a time,
thenoble knight, Burkhart Keller,</i>

732
00:46:27,538 --> 00:46:33,176
<i>accidentally released a troll
from its marmoreal slumber.</i>

733
00:46:33,243 --> 00:46:35,712
<i>The troll stole
the knight's breath</i>

734
00:46:35,780 --> 00:46:41,151
<i>and maliciously took possessionof
Katherine, Marques of Baden.</i>

735
00:46:41,218 --> 00:46:44,388
<i>The Troll assumed the
identity of the marquess.</i>

736
00:46:44,454 --> 00:46:49,192
<i>Its goal, to open the portal
of an enchanted prison</i>

737
00:46:49,259 --> 00:46:51,628
<i>on the night
of the summer solstice.</i>

738
00:46:51,695 --> 00:46:56,433
<i>The troll had a magic bookto
help it, adorned with bones.</i>

739
00:46:56,500 --> 00:46:59,636
<i>The book had the ability
to speak.</i>

740
00:46:59,703 --> 00:47:02,272
<i>Anyone trying
to take control of it</i>

741
00:47:02,339 --> 00:47:06,610
<i>was struck by violent bolts
of lightning.</i>

742
00:47:06,677 --> 00:47:09,279
<i>The book could only
be controlled</i>

743
00:47:09,346 --> 00:47:12,649
<i>by a magic
stellar amulet."</i>

744
00:47:12,716 --> 00:47:14,852
Ooh! A stellar omelet?

745
00:47:14,919 --> 00:47:17,321
An amulet!

746
00:47:17,387 --> 00:47:21,725
But now, hold on tight.

747
00:47:21,793 --> 00:47:25,462
<i>"After the marquesswas
revealed to be a changeling,</i>

748
00:47:25,529 --> 00:47:30,334
<i>her body was turned to stone
by a powerful wizard.</i>

749
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:32,870
<i>He had her buried
with the enchanted book,</i>

750
00:47:32,937 --> 00:47:36,340
<i>in the hopes the troll
would never return."</i>

751
00:47:36,406 --> 00:47:39,409
So, you do believe
in these stories!

752
00:47:39,476 --> 00:47:43,881
The statue, it was excavated
yesterday. It's in the paper.

753
00:47:43,948 --> 00:47:46,717
And today is the 21st of June.

754
00:47:46,784 --> 00:47:50,654
That means tonight
is midsummer's night.

755
00:47:50,721 --> 00:47:53,825
That coincidence is terrible!

756
00:47:53,891 --> 00:47:57,594
You see, as we bore witness

757
00:47:57,661 --> 00:48:01,833
to how you were fried by furious
lightning from the book...

758
00:48:01,899 --> 00:48:05,602
- Ooh!
- There's no doubt about it.

759
00:48:07,404 --> 00:48:11,575
There are strange things
going on here.

760
00:48:11,642 --> 00:48:15,780
We have to prevent
the changeling

761
00:48:15,847 --> 00:48:18,415
from coming back to life!

762
00:48:18,482 --> 00:48:22,787
If it's not too late already.

763
00:48:22,854 --> 00:48:27,491
Vanessa,
what a cute little stinker!

764
00:48:27,557 --> 00:48:30,828
Oh, coochy, coochy,
coochy, coochy-coo!

765
00:48:30,895 --> 00:48:35,933
Oh, stop that. The frog king is
calling. Go get my broomstick.

766
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:37,835
Stop!

767
00:48:38,803 --> 00:48:42,406
- Take it!
- Oh.

768
00:48:42,472 --> 00:48:45,777
- Has that youngling been here?
- Charlie?

769
00:48:45,843 --> 00:48:48,712
Oh, yes.
He's upstairs with Natalja.

770
00:48:49,981 --> 00:48:52,249
Seems that there's some love
in the air.

771
00:48:54,786 --> 00:48:56,888
Oh! Coochy, coochy...

772
00:48:57,989 --> 00:49:00,290
Ah, baby...

773
00:49:02,726 --> 00:49:03,928
- Mom!
- What's going on here?

774
00:49:03,995 --> 00:49:06,964
- How dare you?
- I think I'd better skedaddle.

775
00:49:07,031 --> 00:49:09,533
Yeah!

776
00:49:09,599 --> 00:49:11,803
We'll see if we can try again
next time!

777
00:49:11,869 --> 00:49:12,904
You stay a virgin!

778
00:49:14,772 --> 00:49:16,974
Why do you always
embarrass me like that?

779
00:49:17,041 --> 00:49:19,576
Silence!

780
00:49:19,643 --> 00:49:24,614
If you don't watch out,
you'll end up in the shredder!

781
00:49:46,104 --> 00:49:48,739
- Hm!
- Sweetie-pie.

782
00:49:50,007 --> 00:49:51,943
Take care, little baby.

783
00:49:54,946 --> 00:49:57,882
Take care that the daughter
doesn't leave the house.

784
00:49:57,949 --> 00:49:59,884
Don't let Charlie
get close to her.

785
00:49:59,951 --> 00:50:02,419
He is only of value as a virgin.

786
00:50:04,654 --> 00:50:07,724
Oh, don't forget
your vacuum cleaner.

787
00:50:07,792 --> 00:50:11,896
- And fly safely.
- Never crashed in 1,000 years.

788
00:50:14,031 --> 00:50:16,666
Shut up!

789
00:50:18,136 --> 00:50:19,837
A baby!

790
00:50:22,940 --> 00:50:26,643
The one that's not curious
will never know anything.

791
00:50:59,811 --> 00:51:02,379
She's a witch!

792
00:51:02,445 --> 00:51:06,784
Why has that never
ever occurred to me before?

793
00:51:06,851 --> 00:51:09,921
That bitch would never
have touched a broomstick

794
00:51:09,987 --> 00:51:11,454
for cleaning!

795
00:51:13,124 --> 00:51:16,359
How can I catch her?

796
00:51:19,096 --> 00:51:21,833
Come to Bea!

797
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,402
Giddy-up!

798
00:51:25,468 --> 00:51:27,537
- Hey!
- Yee-haw!

799
00:51:28,471 --> 00:51:30,507
What the f...?

800
00:51:30,574 --> 00:51:32,475
Come back, you horse thief!

801
00:51:59,237 --> 00:52:03,440
So, I just pushed my rickety
bike up the hill for nothing.

802
00:52:03,506 --> 00:52:05,076
See you soon, Miss Hermann.

803
00:52:07,945 --> 00:52:11,581
But Dr. Fischer. Why are you
racing off like a stallion?

804
00:52:11,648 --> 00:52:14,051
That was the mayor's assistant.
They are in the cinema.

805
00:52:14,118 --> 00:52:15,619
Oh. Which movie?

806
00:52:15,685 --> 00:52:17,221
Do I look like Variety?

807
00:52:17,288 --> 00:52:19,522
Let's just hope
he's got the brooch.

808
00:52:19,589 --> 00:52:20,925
Oh.

809
00:52:33,170 --> 00:52:35,739
Be greeted,
your fishy highness.

810
00:52:35,806 --> 00:52:37,975
King of the Seas,
vicious nymphs,

811
00:52:38,042 --> 00:52:42,479
what a true pleasure it is
to see you.

812
00:52:42,545 --> 00:52:46,951
Yadda yadda! Cut the blabbering
and fork over the runt.

813
00:52:47,018 --> 00:52:49,686
Here it is, Your Majesty.

814
00:52:49,754 --> 00:52:52,089
Oooh.

815
00:52:52,156 --> 00:52:55,659
Mmm.

816
00:53:01,598 --> 00:53:04,634
Nice and soft,
with crunchy bones.

817
00:53:04,701 --> 00:53:06,170
Bon appétit!

818
00:53:21,852 --> 00:53:24,288
And now you've had your lunch,

819
00:53:24,355 --> 00:53:28,692
I don't mean to nag here,
but what about my reward?

820
00:53:28,759 --> 00:53:31,829
Get up, you slimy kiss-ass!

821
00:53:31,896 --> 00:53:34,832
What is it, you irritating toad?

822
00:53:34,899 --> 00:53:38,803
I'm looking for
the Great Book of Spells!

823
00:53:39,736 --> 00:53:42,807
Hm! Huh.

824
00:53:42,873 --> 00:53:45,542
Rumble mumble, water spell.

825
00:53:45,608 --> 00:53:48,079
Where is the book
that opens hell?

826
00:53:52,283 --> 00:53:55,685
Look what got caught
in my net!

827
00:53:55,753 --> 00:53:58,255
<i>The story of
Burkhard Keller!</i>

828
00:53:58,322 --> 00:54:01,192
That place is not far from here.

829
00:54:01,258 --> 00:54:05,196
It's in the city
of the finless ones.

830
00:54:05,262 --> 00:54:09,233
- Now, splash off!
- I thank you, observant master.

831
00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:11,235
Gotcha, horse thief!

832
00:54:11,302 --> 00:54:13,570
Oh, monsieur,
please be quiet, I beg you!

833
00:54:13,636 --> 00:54:16,606
I'm calling the cops
immediately, you stupid cow!

834
00:54:16,673 --> 00:54:18,776
Humans?

835
00:54:18,843 --> 00:54:21,578
Finless ones at my lake?

836
00:54:21,644 --> 00:54:23,781
My fat neighbor?

837
00:54:24,982 --> 00:54:27,251
Time for some fishing!

838
00:54:28,618 --> 00:54:31,288
Dessert time,
my little ghoulies.

839
00:54:33,891 --> 00:54:37,194
Feast, my daughters, feast!!

840
00:54:44,667 --> 00:54:47,004
Oh, my God!

841
00:54:47,071 --> 00:54:49,306
Yummy! Stop right there!

842
00:54:58,883 --> 00:55:01,684
Mm! Ca va être bon tout ca.

843
00:55:04,355 --> 00:55:06,891
Gendarmerie Baden-Baden.

844
00:55:06,957 --> 00:55:11,328
Hello? Gendarmerie? I need
your help. I'm being hunted.

845
00:55:12,830 --> 00:55:15,732
I'm being chased by a witch!
She's after me!

846
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,070
- She wants to kill me!
- Calm down, madame.

847
00:55:19,136 --> 00:55:21,571
<i>Breathe in and tell me
the whole story.</i>

848
00:55:24,041 --> 00:55:26,043
Okay, listen.

849
00:55:26,110 --> 00:55:27,644
I'm in the woods of Baden-Baden

850
00:55:27,710 --> 00:55:29,880
and I saw my neighbor,
Vanessa Mayer,

851
00:55:29,947 --> 00:55:32,083
and the evil frog
of Mummel Lake.

852
00:55:32,149 --> 00:55:34,919
And they were eating a baby!

853
00:55:34,985 --> 00:55:36,719
Hm?

854
00:55:37,822 --> 00:55:38,923
Stop slurping.

855
00:55:38,989 --> 00:55:40,925
She wants to kill me!

856
00:55:40,991 --> 00:55:43,094
Please help me!

857
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,362
Au revoir.

858
00:55:45,429 --> 00:55:47,832
Oh, what is it this time?

859
00:55:54,038 --> 00:55:56,874
This will be the last time
you put your fat nose

860
00:55:56,941 --> 00:55:58,876
in other people's business!

861
00:56:08,886 --> 00:56:10,955
Witches must be tortured!

862
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,162
Can't that bitch
ever die?

863
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:27,004
What? Seriously?
You expect my brooch?

864
00:56:27,071 --> 00:56:28,839
- Yes.
- I can't allow that.

865
00:56:28,906 --> 00:56:32,076
This brooch has been
in my family for 700 years.

866
00:56:32,143 --> 00:56:35,012
In fact, I feel I'm naked
without it.

867
00:56:35,079 --> 00:56:38,149
Very naked without it.

868
00:56:38,215 --> 00:56:42,719
How terrible.
Such an... awful day.

869
00:56:42,786 --> 00:56:44,755
I'm feeling so depressed.

870
00:56:44,822 --> 00:56:46,423
You must know,
yesterday in the woods,

871
00:56:46,490 --> 00:56:48,759
we made a truly historical find.

872
00:56:48,826 --> 00:56:51,896
Yeah, that's the reason
we need his brooch.

873
00:56:51,962 --> 00:56:53,998
A hot stud like you
doesn't need jewelry.

874
00:56:54,064 --> 00:56:57,835
You looked really handsome
in the photo, Mayor Keller.

875
00:56:57,902 --> 00:57:00,838
Yes, that's true, quite true.
Where's my powder?

876
00:57:00,905 --> 00:57:03,740
Yes, but what you both
don't know,

877
00:57:03,807 --> 00:57:07,044
this morning,
the statue was stolen

878
00:57:07,111 --> 00:57:10,014
and the watchman was found dead.

879
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:11,248
Oh, my God!

880
00:57:11,315 --> 00:57:14,151
Oh, how is that possible?

881
00:57:14,218 --> 00:57:17,121
Yes, that's so bad for my image.

882
00:57:17,188 --> 00:57:20,024
That means...
it has already begun.

883
00:57:20,090 --> 00:57:22,760
- The demon is amongst us!
- What demon?

884
00:57:22,826 --> 00:57:24,962
The demon from the Dark Ages.

885
00:57:25,029 --> 00:57:27,765
It looked like the marquess.

886
00:57:27,831 --> 00:57:29,300
Petrified, of course.

887
00:57:29,366 --> 00:57:32,803
At first, it was a statue.

888
00:57:33,837 --> 00:57:36,907
But... now, it's back.

889
00:57:36,974 --> 00:57:38,275
It is... It is...

890
00:57:38,342 --> 00:57:40,244
- It is a changeling!
- Oh!

891
00:57:40,311 --> 00:57:44,782
It could look like...
look like a... an office clerk!

892
00:57:46,050 --> 00:57:49,920
Over here! Thank you.
That's a headline!

893
00:57:49,987 --> 00:57:50,988
My image!

894
00:57:55,993 --> 00:57:58,796
Monsieur mayor.
Monsieur Keller, say something.

895
00:57:58,862 --> 00:58:02,967
- Mayor Keller. What's happened?
- Go away, go away.

896
00:58:05,336 --> 00:58:08,839
Does anyone have smelling salts?

897
00:58:12,142 --> 00:58:14,445
So, is your aunt
still guarding the hatch?

898
00:58:18,882 --> 00:58:20,918
Yeah, and she's still
acting like a freak.

899
00:58:20,985 --> 00:58:22,219
<i>Maybe she's going insane.</i>

900
00:58:22,286 --> 00:58:24,955
You should take her
to the loony bin.

901
00:58:25,022 --> 00:58:28,058
Stop it, Charlie.
She's really freaking me out!

902
00:58:28,125 --> 00:58:30,961
<i>Why don't you
jump out the window?</i>

903
00:58:31,028 --> 00:58:34,498
It's much too high, but we have
a ladder next to the shed.

904
00:58:34,565 --> 00:58:36,233
<i>All right, Rapunzel,</i>

905
00:58:36,300 --> 00:58:38,369
<i>I'll have to come over
and save your pretty ass.</i>

906
00:58:38,435 --> 00:58:42,473
Please hurry up.
My mom could be home any minute.

907
00:58:42,539 --> 00:58:46,310
She was so creepy.
She looked just like a monster.

908
00:58:48,479 --> 00:58:51,181
I'm getting closer!

909
00:58:58,355 --> 00:59:00,124
Bonjour!

910
00:59:01,125 --> 00:59:03,193
Hm?

911
00:59:07,598 --> 00:59:11,535
Where is the book?

912
00:59:15,072 --> 00:59:17,341
Oh, look! There it is.

913
00:59:17,408 --> 00:59:22,079
The Great Book of Spells!

914
00:59:22,146 --> 00:59:24,481
Have you missed old trollie?

915
00:59:24,548 --> 00:59:27,284
My precious love.

916
00:59:29,286 --> 00:59:32,323
Oh, my... My book?

917
00:59:34,158 --> 00:59:38,128
Agh! Son of a...
I still need the key!

918
00:59:44,234 --> 00:59:47,438
No key!

919
00:59:48,639 --> 00:59:52,076
I need to open you up today.

920
00:59:52,142 --> 00:59:55,045
It only works
on midsummer's night.

921
01:00:05,322 --> 01:00:07,524
A-a-a-gh!

922
01:00:10,661 --> 01:00:13,464
- Do you have an ouchy?
- Yes, I have an ouchy!

923
01:00:17,601 --> 01:00:20,604
A caution sign would help,
you stupid oaf!

924
01:00:37,654 --> 01:00:41,525
Are you seasoning our entrance
path, you psycho bitch?

925
01:00:41,592 --> 01:00:44,395
You cannot kill ants with salt.
Use baking soda.

926
01:00:44,461 --> 01:00:48,232
This line of Himalayan salt
is not for fighting ants.

927
01:00:48,298 --> 01:00:51,635
It's for demons, nymphs,
wicked witches.

928
01:00:51,702 --> 01:00:54,972
None of them should be able
to pass through it.

929
01:00:55,038 --> 01:00:56,673
It's here, in black and white.

930
01:00:59,042 --> 01:01:01,478
In a vegetarian
cookbook?

931
01:01:01,545 --> 01:01:04,248
You blind bat!
It's not just recipes.

932
01:01:04,314 --> 01:01:06,417
Ah, right, here it is.

933
01:01:06,483 --> 01:01:09,653
"If your fat wife starts
seasoning the steps with salt,

934
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:13,557
the husband should really
start to worry."

935
01:01:13,624 --> 01:01:15,659
He should pack his bags and go!

936
01:01:15,726 --> 01:01:19,463
Here she comes.

937
01:01:19,530 --> 01:01:22,733
- The witch!
- Oh! Mon dieu!

938
01:01:22,801 --> 01:01:27,237
- Stay here, dumbass!
- Bonjour, Madame Mayer.

939
01:01:27,304 --> 01:01:28,605
I apologize for
my wife's behavior.

940
01:01:28,672 --> 01:01:31,308
For years, she is "ahahahahaha!"

941
01:01:34,445 --> 01:01:36,980
Oh, my God!

942
01:01:47,090 --> 01:01:48,492
What is this?

943
01:01:49,794 --> 01:01:51,495
Salt?

944
01:01:51,562 --> 01:01:54,799
You're not as dumb
as you look, bitch!

945
01:01:54,866 --> 01:01:57,701
But I'm still one step ahead.

946
01:02:07,144 --> 01:02:10,147
I'm coming back for you!

947
01:02:17,421 --> 01:02:20,491
Madame Penile,
did you see Vanessa exit here?

948
01:02:20,557 --> 01:02:22,726
Well, she looked drugged.

949
01:02:22,794 --> 01:02:25,128
Her eyes were red,
like cocktail tomatoes!

950
01:02:25,195 --> 01:02:27,698
And then she completely lost it.

951
01:02:31,502 --> 01:02:32,937
I can't believe it!

952
01:02:33,003 --> 01:02:36,373
Dr. Fischer, Dr. Fischer! She
must have run off with the book!

953
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:39,476
- I can't find it anywhere!
- You want your pigsty cleaned?

954
01:02:39,543 --> 01:02:40,812
Don't forget the loo!

955
01:02:40,879 --> 01:02:44,147
I hate wearing those
itchy diapers all the time!

956
01:02:44,214 --> 01:02:46,851
Dr. Fischer,
you really wear diapers?

957
01:02:55,158 --> 01:02:57,829
Come on, now! Like you mean it!

958
01:02:57,896 --> 01:02:59,530
Hurry up!

959
01:03:05,669 --> 01:03:09,273
Oh. We have to get it open
without the key!

960
01:03:18,950 --> 01:03:22,486
Troll magic won't help us here!

961
01:03:22,553 --> 01:03:26,758
We need...
We need a human wizard!

962
01:03:26,824 --> 01:03:30,661
You need a wizard? Why didn't
you mention that before?

963
01:03:30,727 --> 01:03:34,264
How can I mention it if it's
something I don't know I need?

964
01:03:34,331 --> 01:03:38,268
But you do know a wizard,
Vladimir Kaiser.

965
01:03:42,739 --> 01:03:43,707
Hm?

966
01:03:52,282 --> 01:03:57,154
A-ha! Monsieur Kaiser!
It's good to see you.

967
01:03:57,220 --> 01:03:58,722
The pleasure is mine.

968
01:03:58,790 --> 01:04:01,258
Monsieur Kaiser,
I regret to tell you

969
01:04:01,325 --> 01:04:04,294
that your check is worth shit!

970
01:04:04,361 --> 01:04:07,731
For this reason, we've been
forced to vacate your room.

971
01:04:07,799 --> 01:04:09,366
But that's absurd!

972
01:04:10,734 --> 01:04:12,837
Do you know
who you are talking to?

973
01:04:12,904 --> 01:04:15,940
I should be
knocking you silly, sir.

974
01:04:16,007 --> 01:04:17,775
I'm really very sorry,

975
01:04:17,842 --> 01:04:22,880
but <i>The Arabello Show</i>
sent us this message.

976
01:04:22,947 --> 01:04:27,317
"Cancel the room
of this... bungler!"

977
01:04:32,857 --> 01:04:35,459
My advice, go somewhere else.

978
01:04:35,525 --> 01:04:37,694
You're not welcome. Hm!

979
01:04:39,797 --> 01:04:42,900
Hey, Vlady, old boy.
Come on up and have a drink.

980
01:04:50,407 --> 01:04:55,980
You have it goodski. You have
room, and you won toothy cuckoo.

981
01:04:56,047 --> 01:04:58,850
You're the winner. I'm just
the middle fracking loser.

982
01:04:58,916 --> 01:05:01,819
Vladimir, you're no loser.

983
01:05:01,886 --> 01:05:03,420
All you do
is believe in yourself

984
01:05:03,487 --> 01:05:05,790
and anything is possible.

985
01:05:05,857 --> 01:05:09,426
And you know what?
You could be a real wizard?

986
01:05:09,493 --> 01:05:11,395
Well, if you say so.

987
01:05:14,932 --> 01:05:17,769
Hey, Natalja!

988
01:05:17,835 --> 01:05:20,938
Ah, dearest Juliet, it's your
Romeo, not some stupid lark.

989
01:05:21,005 --> 01:05:24,008
This is more Rumpelstiltskin
than Romeo and Juliet.

990
01:05:24,075 --> 01:05:25,442
Here we go.

991
01:05:28,545 --> 01:05:31,248
Hi.

992
01:05:31,314 --> 01:05:33,751
Everyone in this house
is going crazy.

993
01:05:33,818 --> 01:05:35,920
Helga is acting
like a guard dog,

994
01:05:35,987 --> 01:05:38,422
and my mother looks like
Freddy Krueger

995
01:05:38,488 --> 01:05:40,925
wearing a crazy clown wig.

996
01:05:40,992 --> 01:05:44,461
Ah, come on. Your mother's hair
doesn't look that bad.

997
01:05:44,528 --> 01:05:46,430
Stop it.
You know that's not the point.

998
01:05:46,496 --> 01:05:48,398
She's acting insane.

999
01:05:48,465 --> 01:05:51,803
After you were gone,
she was laughing like a maniac!

1000
01:05:51,869 --> 01:05:54,939
So what?
Your laugh also sounds maniacal.

1001
01:05:55,006 --> 01:05:59,342
Stop it! You remember my mirror?
The pretty silver one?

1002
01:05:59,409 --> 01:06:01,946
It didn't reflect my mother.

1003
01:06:02,013 --> 01:06:06,483
It reflected something else,
something hideous.

1004
01:06:06,550 --> 01:06:12,023
Okay, okay. Now listen,
your mom is not your mom.

1005
01:06:12,090 --> 01:06:14,291
Yes, she might look like
your mom,

1006
01:06:14,357 --> 01:06:17,360
but in reality she's a...

1007
01:06:17,427 --> 01:06:19,663
m-monster!

1008
01:06:20,731 --> 01:06:23,433
You're not taking me seriously.

1009
01:06:23,500 --> 01:06:25,036
Okay, come on.

1010
01:06:25,103 --> 01:06:28,238
I've got something
to take your mind off all this.

1011
01:06:30,141 --> 01:06:33,310
Oooh. You're so cool.

1012
01:06:33,376 --> 01:06:34,544
Hm?

1013
01:06:42,419 --> 01:06:46,389
First, a warm-up drink,
and later we'll party full-on.

1014
01:06:47,524 --> 01:06:49,593
Can't wait.

1015
01:06:55,699 --> 01:06:57,501
Hey, bartender,

1016
01:06:57,567 --> 01:07:00,104
can you pour another whiskey
for me and my new friend,

1017
01:07:00,171 --> 01:07:02,572
the mighty wizard?

1018
01:07:02,639 --> 01:07:07,477
A long time no see,
Vlad the Impaler!

1019
01:07:07,544 --> 01:07:10,647
Two angels!

1020
01:07:10,714 --> 01:07:14,384
- Mm!
- Madame Mayer, ooh la-la!

1021
01:07:15,787 --> 01:07:18,388
Would you ladies like to have
a drink with us?

1022
01:07:18,455 --> 01:07:20,024
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Huh?

1023
01:07:20,091 --> 01:07:23,360
Oh, hello, there. Helga.
50 years and still single.

1024
01:07:23,426 --> 01:07:24,528
Of course.

1025
01:07:24,594 --> 01:07:26,596
Oh-ho. Bonjour.

1026
01:07:26,663 --> 01:07:28,498
I'm Michael Waits,
from America.

1027
01:07:28,565 --> 01:07:30,500
Bet he's got a long-bed pick-up.

1028
01:07:30,567 --> 01:07:33,603
- Let's go have a drink.
- Or six or seven!

1029
01:07:36,573 --> 01:07:40,443
I heard you're looking
for a place to stay tonight.

1030
01:07:40,510 --> 01:07:43,747
You really can
read my mind-ski.

1031
01:07:43,815 --> 01:07:46,550
What about your place?

1032
01:07:46,616 --> 01:07:50,755
This is Baden-Baden,
the city of love,

1033
01:07:50,822 --> 01:07:53,623
where the women
always cut to the chase.

1034
01:07:53,690 --> 01:07:55,392
Ooh.

1035
01:07:55,458 --> 01:07:57,527
We have business deal to finish.

1036
01:07:57,594 --> 01:08:00,564
My magic wand
is waiting for yoo-oo!

1037
01:08:00,630 --> 01:08:04,634
Let us, you say,
begin with that, hm?

1038
01:08:04,701 --> 01:08:07,604
What are you doing
to my son? My new friend?

1039
01:08:07,671 --> 01:08:09,874
We're just giving him
some ice cream!

1040
01:08:11,608 --> 01:08:14,111
But I ordered whiskey!

1041
01:08:14,178 --> 01:08:17,547
I don't think that would be
appropriate here.

1042
01:08:21,853 --> 01:08:23,620
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

1043
01:08:35,699 --> 01:08:38,903
- Are you okay?
- My lungs are full of whiskey.

1044
01:08:43,640 --> 01:08:46,443
She took off,
and Charlie's with her.

1045
01:08:46,509 --> 01:08:48,212
What?
Where are they?

1046
01:08:48,279 --> 01:08:51,916
- In the juke-joint next door.
- But didn't you lock them in?

1047
01:08:51,983 --> 01:08:56,754
She must have secretly
flown out the window.

1048
01:08:56,821 --> 01:08:58,990
Sorry, guys.
We have to leave now.

1049
01:08:59,056 --> 01:09:03,526
We have to get some ingredients.
We'll be back in 30 seconds.

1050
01:09:03,593 --> 01:09:05,930
Uh, yes. Um... Maybe 40!

1051
01:09:08,531 --> 01:09:11,235
My dear Vladimir.

1052
01:09:11,302 --> 01:09:14,638
I can see that
this is gonna be a long night.

1053
01:09:20,811 --> 01:09:22,646
Vanessa!

1054
01:09:26,583 --> 01:09:27,852
Ciao!

1055
01:09:32,757 --> 01:09:36,894
He's here.
I can smell the virginity.

1056
01:09:36,961 --> 01:09:40,031
I can smell it in the air.

1057
01:09:40,097 --> 01:09:42,499
Go and get them.

1058
01:09:42,565 --> 01:09:43,968
Okay.

1059
01:09:48,105 --> 01:09:51,741
You were right, Charlie. Getting
drunk <i>is</i> good for me.

1060
01:09:51,809 --> 01:09:53,543
Yeah, that's how I roll.

1061
01:09:53,610 --> 01:09:54,946
That's why I like you.

1062
01:09:55,012 --> 01:09:58,783
Yeah, everyone does.

1063
01:09:58,849 --> 01:10:02,086
- And I like gin and tonic.
- I'll get you one.

1064
01:10:19,971 --> 01:10:23,673
<i>Vanessa, I've found
the little bugger.</i>

1065
01:10:23,740 --> 01:10:26,177
<i>Now, watch and learn!</i>

1066
01:10:30,214 --> 01:10:32,116
Salut, Charlie.

1067
01:10:34,085 --> 01:10:36,053
Uh... Madame Mayer?

1068
01:10:52,003 --> 01:10:54,905
<i>♪ What is your secret? ♪</i>

1069
01:10:56,307 --> 01:10:58,109
<i>♪ Where do we go? ♪</i>

1070
01:10:58,175 --> 01:10:59,844
Ooh!

1071
01:10:59,910 --> 01:11:03,713
<i>♪ End all this history ♪</i>

1072
01:11:03,781 --> 01:11:06,183
<i>♪ I wanna know ♪</i>

1073
01:11:07,918 --> 01:11:10,955
<i>♪ I can't get higher ♪</i>

1074
01:11:11,022 --> 01:11:13,891
<i>♪ This feels too right ♪</i>

1075
01:11:15,259 --> 01:11:18,728
<i>♪ Is this a lie or ♪</i>

1076
01:11:18,796 --> 01:11:21,298
<i>♪ The end of time? ♪</i>

1077
01:11:23,167 --> 01:11:26,703
<i>♪ My red magic eyes ♪</i>

1078
01:11:27,805 --> 01:11:31,008
<i>♪ Are sucking your soul ♪</i>

1079
01:11:31,075 --> 01:11:35,112
<i>♪ Your wishful delight ♪</i>

1080
01:11:35,179 --> 01:11:38,215
<i>♪ Is what is my own ♪</i>

1081
01:11:56,367 --> 01:11:58,102
Here we go!

1082
01:12:06,911 --> 01:12:08,112
Mom?

1083
01:12:09,213 --> 01:12:11,248
- Charlie?
- Excuse me!

1084
01:12:13,117 --> 01:12:14,952
Vanessa.

1085
01:12:26,130 --> 01:12:28,933
Ooh-hoo-hoo! Hey, kiddo.

1086
01:12:28,999 --> 01:12:30,868
You never had sex

1087
01:12:30,935 --> 01:12:33,838
and now you're trying to take
this hot MILF home with you?

1088
01:12:33,904 --> 01:12:35,940
You'd love to pork her, huh?

1089
01:12:36,006 --> 01:12:38,442
Now, look
and learn, dickless.

1090
01:12:38,509 --> 01:12:42,079
Hey, hotty. Bet you just
never get enough.

1091
01:12:42,146 --> 01:12:45,916
Well, my tongue lasts forever,
so open wide.

1092
01:12:58,963 --> 01:13:00,297
Aagh!

1093
01:13:02,133 --> 01:13:04,135
Come on! Move it!

1094
01:13:17,314 --> 01:13:19,250
Still available!

1095
01:13:20,351 --> 01:13:22,719
If you catch me,
you can have me!

1096
01:13:26,223 --> 01:13:29,393
- The 30 seconds are up.
- Woo, the lady and the wolf!

1097
01:13:29,460 --> 01:13:32,363
That was long 30 seconds.
Where have you been making out?

1098
01:13:32,429 --> 01:13:35,065
We were
at the discotheque next door.

1099
01:13:35,132 --> 01:13:40,137
It was wonderful. So much fun!
Can I, uh, poke my nose in this?

1100
01:13:40,204 --> 01:13:42,306
Cut the crap!

1101
01:13:44,842 --> 01:13:47,011
Did I tell you that I'm single?

1102
01:13:47,077 --> 01:13:48,812
You know, you say that a lot.

1103
01:13:48,879 --> 01:13:53,017
Cousin Helga, wizard,
we have to go.

1104
01:13:53,083 --> 01:13:56,453
Come on, Vanessa. Michael
just asked me to marry him.

1105
01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:58,489
Charlie's waiting downstairs.
We have to go!

1106
01:13:58,556 --> 01:14:00,291
Who do you think you are?

1107
01:14:00,357 --> 01:14:02,459
You won't be my bridesmaid.

1108
01:14:02,526 --> 01:14:05,462
The alcohol must
be why the spell doesn't work.

1109
01:14:05,529 --> 01:14:09,366
- What did you say?
- What I said?

1110
01:14:09,433 --> 01:14:12,203
I cast this spell to get her
under my control

1111
01:14:12,269 --> 01:14:13,804
and now it's not working
any more.

1112
01:14:13,871 --> 01:14:15,372
Once I've freed
my brothers,

1113
01:14:15,439 --> 01:14:18,175
your flesh will be the first
that we feast on.

1114
01:14:33,190 --> 01:14:35,326
You know, I love alcohol.

1115
01:14:35,392 --> 01:14:37,294
Yeah, me too.

1116
01:14:37,361 --> 01:14:39,496
I'm Michael Waits, from America.

1117
01:14:39,563 --> 01:14:44,468
- And my name is Helga Wolf!
- My best film is <i>Troll 2</i>.

1118
01:14:47,871 --> 01:14:49,340
Where did you
learn that?

1119
01:14:49,406 --> 01:14:52,276
I have all sorts
of hidden talents.

1120
01:14:52,343 --> 01:14:55,346
Oh, finally!
There's my book!

1121
01:14:55,412 --> 01:14:58,148
Oh, it look more magical
than ever.

1122
01:14:58,215 --> 01:15:00,284
So, she really did steal it!

1123
01:15:01,585 --> 01:15:03,354
At last.

1124
01:15:04,555 --> 01:15:07,324
Oh, let's see what happens.

1125
01:15:07,391 --> 01:15:09,994
Ooh! Oh, fascinating!

1126
01:15:11,428 --> 01:15:15,299
<i>600 years confined
did I lie.</i>

1127
01:15:15,366 --> 01:15:18,002
<i>Now it is time for
the curses to fly.</i>

1128
01:15:18,068 --> 01:15:23,007
How cool is that?
It even knows how to rhyme.

1129
01:15:23,073 --> 01:15:25,976
- Bravo, my dear friends.
- Huh?

1130
01:15:26,043 --> 01:15:27,845
My boy,
which way to bar?

1131
01:15:31,515 --> 01:15:35,252
You two better go outside,
right away.

1132
01:15:35,319 --> 01:15:37,521
You not telling me
this swinger bar.

1133
01:15:38,589 --> 01:15:40,457
I spank you later.

1134
01:15:40,524 --> 01:15:42,926
I hope little Rumburak performs
in group session.

1135
01:15:42,993 --> 01:15:45,429
- Thank you for opening my book.
- Hold on!

1136
01:15:45,496 --> 01:15:49,566
What do you mean, "your book"?
It's mine. I paid for it.

1137
01:15:49,633 --> 01:15:52,503
It'll be the last time
you paid for anything, darling.

1138
01:15:53,570 --> 01:15:59,510
Omold, gemirl, shamall, bumurn!

1139
01:16:01,412 --> 01:16:03,280
Tippie!

1140
01:16:03,347 --> 01:16:05,949
Oh, gosh! You!

1141
01:16:07,618 --> 01:16:08,719
You are the demon!

1142
01:16:08,787 --> 01:16:10,988
Doc, You're a little off.

1143
01:16:11,055 --> 01:16:12,489
She's a witch.

1144
01:16:19,963 --> 01:16:22,132
What an awful mess this is!

1145
01:16:22,199 --> 01:16:26,904
Sorry about the gunk, but
you should thank me for that.

1146
01:16:26,970 --> 01:16:30,541
- Oh, really?
- You can kill a witch by fire,

1147
01:16:30,607 --> 01:16:34,111
or by a point blank shot
to the head!

1148
01:16:36,480 --> 01:16:40,050
Do I look like
Sabrina the Teenager?

1149
01:16:40,117 --> 01:16:43,053
I'm not a witch. I'm a troll.

1150
01:16:52,029 --> 01:16:54,565
Where the heck did you put
the real Vanessa?

1151
01:16:56,100 --> 01:16:57,668
She's in here.

1152
01:16:57,735 --> 01:16:59,336
- <i>Klaus?</i>
- I can hear her.

1153
01:16:59,403 --> 01:17:00,070
- <i>Dr. Fischer?</i>
- Can you hear that too?

1154
01:17:00,137 --> 01:17:03,140
She just called my name.

1155
01:17:05,509 --> 01:17:08,445
No one can stop me now.

1156
01:17:12,216 --> 01:17:15,119
Hold this,
and enjoy my performance.

1157
01:17:18,589 --> 01:17:23,227
Oh, great book
of spells and wizardry...

1158
01:17:23,293 --> 01:17:27,631
show me the answers
and give advice to me.

1159
01:17:27,698 --> 01:17:30,601
How can I open the gate
to the worlds?

1160
01:17:30,667 --> 01:17:36,507
Wake up and give me
the enchanted words.

1161
01:17:36,573 --> 01:17:41,211
<i>To open the portal listen right,
it must occur on solstice night.</i>

1162
01:17:41,278 --> 01:17:45,215
<i>Only the blood of a dunce,
virgin and pure</i>

1163
01:17:45,282 --> 01:17:48,285
<i>will reveal the words,
that is for sure.</i>

1164
01:17:52,322 --> 01:17:56,560
You'd go home with anyone,
my little Romeo.

1165
01:17:56,627 --> 01:18:01,131
I'm so horny, and your
daughter's giving me blue balls.

1166
01:18:01,198 --> 01:18:03,667
- How about her mama?
- But I'm horny, too!

1167
01:18:03,734 --> 01:18:06,036
I like it rough.

1168
01:18:07,738 --> 01:18:09,206
No!

1169
01:18:12,075 --> 01:18:16,680
Don't be scared.
This will be magical!

1170
01:18:16,747 --> 01:18:21,318
<i>Wumall, rumound,
frumee, prisonee.</i>

1171
01:18:21,385 --> 01:18:23,153
Wumall,

1172
01:18:23,220 --> 01:18:25,389
rumound, frumee,

1173
01:18:25,456 --> 01:18:27,357
prisonee!

1174
01:18:29,761 --> 01:18:34,164
Here they come!

1175
01:18:34,231 --> 01:18:36,200
It worked!

1176
01:18:38,837 --> 01:18:41,672
It's so good to see you,
my brothers!

1177
01:18:41,738 --> 01:18:44,374
Let the era of trolls begin!

1178
01:18:49,746 --> 01:18:51,648
Hocus pocus.

1179
01:18:55,820 --> 01:18:58,088
Trixie fixie.

1180
01:19:01,291 --> 01:19:02,726
I healed your wound

1181
01:19:02,794 --> 01:19:06,330
so you'd look a tad more tasty,
young Charlie.

1182
01:19:06,396 --> 01:19:10,400
Because you will be the welcome
meal for my brothers.

1183
01:19:10,467 --> 01:19:13,737
I just have to activate
this key.

1184
01:19:13,805 --> 01:19:15,840
We have to stop the troll!

1185
01:19:15,907 --> 01:19:18,108
But I could've sworn
she was a witch.

1186
01:19:18,175 --> 01:19:21,211
Only in this magical book
can we find the answers.

1187
01:19:21,278 --> 01:19:23,480
But what can we do?

1188
01:19:23,547 --> 01:19:25,783
Are you the wizard or me?

1189
01:19:25,850 --> 01:19:28,118
Read out the spell! Petrify her!

1190
01:19:29,186 --> 01:19:31,388
Listen, troll!

1191
01:19:31,455 --> 01:19:35,092
Mamai, rumall,
lamid, zoomoon, shamuz!

1192
01:19:38,295 --> 01:19:41,164
Was that supposed to be magic?

1193
01:19:41,231 --> 01:19:43,567
You're so incredibly bad
at this.

1194
01:19:46,270 --> 01:19:47,805
You're making me laugh!

1195
01:19:57,281 --> 01:20:00,183
Vladimir, believe in yourself.

1196
01:20:00,250 --> 01:20:02,787
You <i>are</i> a real wizard.

1197
01:20:02,854 --> 01:20:04,889
Anything is possible.

1198
01:20:04,956 --> 01:20:07,324
You <i>do</i> have magical powers.

1199
01:20:09,493 --> 01:20:12,496
I will banish you, creature
of the night, go hence away.

1200
01:20:12,563 --> 01:20:16,633
Don't be ridiculous. I'm the one
throwing the party here.

1201
01:20:16,700 --> 01:20:18,302
Amai,

1202
01:20:18,368 --> 01:20:21,505
tumurn, demi, tomoo, stomone!

1203
01:20:23,340 --> 01:20:25,843
But I don't wanna
get stoned again!

1204
01:20:25,910 --> 01:20:30,147
- Nooooo!
- Did you see that?

1205
01:20:37,354 --> 01:20:42,559
Ah! The real Vanessa and Natalja
should be inside this amulet.

1206
01:20:42,626 --> 01:20:45,329
We must set them free.

1207
01:20:46,597 --> 01:20:49,399
If you don't mind, I got it.

1208
01:21:06,650 --> 01:21:08,518
- Mom!
- Natalja!

1209
01:21:10,587 --> 01:21:12,422
Natalja?

1210
01:21:12,489 --> 01:21:13,624
Oh!

1211
01:21:15,459 --> 01:21:17,628
- Have you lost weight, Vanessa?
- Oh, Klaus!

1212
01:21:17,694 --> 01:21:19,496
Is it really you?

1213
01:21:19,563 --> 01:21:22,399
I tried to get your attention.
Didn't you hear me?

1214
01:21:24,401 --> 01:21:26,269
Ah! Ooh!

1215
01:21:26,336 --> 01:21:28,405
Nothing happened
between me and your mom.

1216
01:21:28,472 --> 01:21:31,608
I told you it wasn't
my mom. That was a real troll.

1217
01:21:31,675 --> 01:21:34,277
What a lovely gnome
for the patio!

1218
01:21:34,344 --> 01:21:36,747
I'm Dr. Oz.
I mean Dr. Fischer.

1219
01:21:36,814 --> 01:21:39,549
And what a nice umbrella holder.

1220
01:21:39,616 --> 01:21:43,487
Dee-dee-dee-dee!

1221
01:21:43,553 --> 01:21:45,757
Oh, not again!

1222
01:21:45,823 --> 01:21:47,759
Oh!

1223
01:21:56,533 --> 01:22:00,237
- Hello.
- Oh, hello.

1224
01:22:00,303 --> 01:22:05,575
By the way, which year are we?
Is this the Renaissance?

1225
01:22:05,642 --> 01:22:09,881
Oh, my gosh,
the Marquess of Baden!

1226
01:22:09,947 --> 01:22:13,517
She also was a prisoner
in the troll's amulet!

1227
01:22:13,583 --> 01:22:16,453
You remind me of my mother,
God bless her.

1228
01:22:16,520 --> 01:22:18,890
Oh, how very charming of you.

1229
01:22:18,956 --> 01:22:20,557
And you remind me

1230
01:22:20,624 --> 01:22:24,829
of a big fat yeast cake
that's about to explode.

1231
01:22:24,896 --> 01:22:27,664
Wait, just a moment.
I think he looks more like

1232
01:22:27,731 --> 01:22:30,701
an old-fashioned donut
with powdered sugar.

1233
01:22:30,768 --> 01:22:32,669
Is this a pastry shop?

1234
01:22:32,736 --> 01:22:35,405
Send for a carriage,
I want to go home.

1235
01:22:35,472 --> 01:22:37,875
- You bitch.
- No, the tart is on the mark.

1236
01:22:37,942 --> 01:22:40,310
Let's put her
in an old folk's home.

1237
01:22:40,377 --> 01:22:41,745
She'll fit right in.

1238
01:22:43,613 --> 01:22:45,083
But where?

1239
01:22:45,149 --> 01:22:50,420
Talk about me doing magic. It
makes me seem very sexy, nyet?

1240
01:22:50,487 --> 01:22:54,324
"Turn woman into chicken."
"Grow salad on someone's back"?

1241
01:22:54,391 --> 01:22:57,527
Disgusting! Oh, a-ha!

1242
01:22:57,594 --> 01:23:01,631
"How to send a soul back
to the Middling Ages."

1243
01:23:01,698 --> 01:23:03,633
Klaus, quick,
give me your phone,

1244
01:23:03,700 --> 01:23:05,903
or Helga won't believe
a word I say.

1245
01:23:05,970 --> 01:23:08,005
And now, smile.

1246
01:23:11,776 --> 01:23:14,678
- Look at that!
- You sure look stupid.

1247
01:23:14,745 --> 01:23:16,546
Thank you so much.

1248
01:23:17,849 --> 01:23:20,584
Wizard, I am ready.

1249
01:23:20,650 --> 01:23:22,419
Huh!

1250
01:23:22,486 --> 01:23:24,789
- I insist on privacy.
- Problemski nyet.

1251
01:23:28,926 --> 01:23:32,729
Nomow, bomook,
mamake and shamape!

1252
01:23:32,797 --> 01:23:35,432
Tumurn bamack timime!

1253
01:23:35,499 --> 01:23:38,770
The frog king
sent her! She's still hungry!

1254
01:23:38,836 --> 01:23:39,904
Get off me!

1255
01:23:39,971 --> 01:23:43,507
It's a nymph! Protect me!

1256
01:23:43,573 --> 01:23:45,609
You reek out of mouth
like old...

1257
01:23:45,675 --> 01:23:48,880
<i>Hm, if I'm still here,
the big yeast cake</i>

1258
01:23:48,946 --> 01:23:52,749
<i>and his crazy blonde
must be in the Middle Ages.</i>

1259
01:23:52,817 --> 01:23:54,484
<i>Uh-oh.</i>

1260
01:24:15,773 --> 01:24:17,809
- What's going on?
- I don't know.

1261
01:24:19,143 --> 01:24:22,013
She disappears!

1262
01:24:23,114 --> 01:24:25,348
She was over yonder.

1263
01:24:27,717 --> 01:24:32,622
Burkhart. Burkhart, my brother.
What hath happened to thee?

1264
01:24:32,689 --> 01:24:34,992
Beware, Milord, they strike me
as witchy siblings.

1265
01:24:35,059 --> 01:24:36,593
He's dead.

1266
01:24:37,962 --> 01:24:42,166
What have they done to you?
You killed my brother!

1267
01:24:42,233 --> 01:24:43,968
Are you nuts?

1268
01:24:44,035 --> 01:24:47,905
This must be a misunderstanding,
Monsieur...?

1269
01:24:47,972 --> 01:24:49,706
I am Engelhardt Keller.

1270
01:24:49,774 --> 01:24:51,108
Engelhardt Keller?

1271
01:24:53,845 --> 01:24:56,914
Then this must be
Burkhart Keller.

1272
01:24:56,981 --> 01:24:58,748
Burkhart who?

1273
01:24:58,816 --> 01:25:01,853
The one with whom
the whole story started.

1274
01:25:01,919 --> 01:25:04,989
And you are my prisoners.
Guard, seize them!

1275
01:25:06,157 --> 01:25:08,960
- They're insane.
- Hey! Oh!

1276
01:25:09,026 --> 01:25:10,360
Ow!

1277
01:25:15,166 --> 01:25:16,934
Wait! Wait!

1278
01:25:21,172 --> 01:25:23,774
You've got
the wrong people.

1279
01:25:23,841 --> 01:25:26,010
- Ow!
- And who's this wacko?

1280
01:25:26,077 --> 01:25:28,880
The Grand Inquisitor,
Tomasso the Torturer.

1281
01:25:28,946 --> 01:25:31,481
I swear, Monsieur Keller!

1282
01:25:31,548 --> 01:25:35,753
'Twas a maiden in white
who did murder your brother.

1283
01:25:35,820 --> 01:25:38,856
Then they shift their shape.
They are sorcerers.

1284
01:25:38,923 --> 01:25:40,825
But we are not enforcerers.

1285
01:25:40,892 --> 01:25:45,997
Please, let me try to explain!
You're making a huge mistake.

1286
01:25:46,063 --> 01:25:49,000
We are time travelers,
isn't that pretty obvious?

1287
01:25:49,066 --> 01:25:50,968
What am I supposed
to enforce here?

1288
01:25:51,035 --> 01:25:53,470
Do I look like I'll be doing
Dirty Harry shit?

1289
01:25:53,536 --> 01:25:55,106
Hold thy tongue!

1290
01:25:56,073 --> 01:25:59,143
Silence!

1291
01:25:59,210 --> 01:26:02,213
Thou art accused of witchcraft,
wicked vermin!

1292
01:26:04,982 --> 01:26:08,585
The next sunrise,
you'll both be burnt crispy.

1293
01:26:08,652 --> 01:26:10,021
Are you crazy?

1294
01:26:10,087 --> 01:26:13,124
You can't do that.
I'm a famous scientist!

1295
01:26:15,059 --> 01:26:17,061
I think they're like
totally crazy.

1296
01:26:17,128 --> 01:26:19,230
Shouldn't we try
and get a lawyer?

1297
01:26:19,297 --> 01:26:22,166
A lawyer?
You don't get it at all.

1298
01:26:22,233 --> 01:26:26,569
We are trapped in the past.
This is the Middle Ages!

1299
01:26:28,039 --> 01:26:31,608
Oh, my God!

1300
01:26:54,597 --> 01:26:57,201
<i>♪ Far beyond in
space and time ♪</i>

1301
01:26:57,268 --> 01:27:00,104
<i>♪ Where wolves howl
in the night ♪</i>

1302
01:27:00,171 --> 01:27:03,540
<i>♪ Beneath the star,
beneath the light ♪</i>

1303
01:27:03,606 --> 01:27:06,643
<i>♪ Your life began
to shine ♪</i>

1304
01:27:06,710 --> 01:27:11,481
<i>♪ Wumall rumound frumee
(prisonee) ♪</i>

1305
01:27:12,984 --> 01:27:18,655
<i>♪ Mistress of light
come to me ♪</i>

1306
01:27:18,722 --> 01:27:21,624
<i>♪ Your wings of flames
from ancient worlds ♪</i>

1307
01:27:21,691 --> 01:27:24,962
<i>♪ The phoenix is reborn ♪</i>

1308
01:27:25,029 --> 01:27:27,731
<i>♪ Your heat that makes
all lovers rise ♪</i>

1309
01:27:27,798 --> 01:27:31,068
<i>♪ Is climbing
up the throne ♪</i>

1310
01:27:31,135 --> 01:27:37,041
<i>♪ Wumall rumound frumee
(prisonee) ♪</i>

1311
01:27:37,108 --> 01:27:40,677
<i>♪ Mistress of light
come to me ♪</i>

1312
01:27:42,346 --> 01:27:43,981
<i>♪ You're like fire... ♪</i>

1313
01:27:49,719 --> 01:27:51,789
I hate alcohol!

1314
01:27:51,856 --> 01:27:54,792
♪ I'm no virgin any more ♪

1315
01:27:54,859 --> 01:27:56,360
♪ I'm no virgin ♪

1316
01:27:56,427 --> 01:27:59,363
♪ Yeah! Yeah! No more
I'm not a virgin

1317
01:27:59,430 --> 01:28:01,999
♪ For the very first time... ♪

1318
01:28:02,066 --> 01:28:04,601
Oh. That must be him.

1319
01:28:04,667 --> 01:28:07,704
- Hello?
- Auntie Helga? Hurry up!

1320
01:28:07,772 --> 01:28:09,807
- What's wrong?
- We need your help.

1321
01:28:09,874 --> 01:28:11,674
- Where's Vanessa?
- <i>She's gone.</i>

1322
01:28:11,741 --> 01:28:14,611
There's a monster here!
Please, come quick!

1323
01:28:14,677 --> 01:28:16,847
Huh?

1324
01:28:16,914 --> 01:28:19,150
Natalja?

1325
01:28:19,216 --> 01:28:20,650
Shit!

1326
01:28:20,717 --> 01:28:22,853
<i>♪ You're like fire ♪</i>

1327
01:28:22,920 --> 01:28:25,622
<i>♪ Expending your empire ♪</i>

1328
01:28:25,716 --> 01:28:27,263
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

1329
01:28:27,358 --> 01:28:28,859
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1330
01:28:28,926 --> 01:28:31,829
<i>♪ My burning desire ♪</i>

1331
01:28:33,431 --> 01:28:35,066
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1332
01:28:35,132 --> 01:28:38,202
<i>♪ Your power inspires ♪</i>

1333
01:28:39,736 --> 01:28:41,172
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1334
01:28:41,238 --> 01:28:44,208
<i>♪ Energy sapphire ♪</i>

1335
01:28:58,489 --> 01:29:01,392
<i>♪ Far beyond in
space and time ♪</i>

1336
01:29:01,459 --> 01:29:04,328
<i>♪ The wolves howl
in the night ♪</i>

1337
01:29:04,395 --> 01:29:07,364
<i>♪ Beneath the star,
beneath the light ♪</i>

1338
01:29:07,431 --> 01:29:10,667
<i>♪ Your life
begins to shine ♪</i>

1339
01:29:10,733 --> 01:29:16,941
<i>♪ Wumall rumound frumee
(prisonee) ♪</i>

1340
01:29:17,007 --> 01:29:21,946
<i>♪ Mistress of light
come to me ♪</i>

1341
01:29:22,012 --> 01:29:24,181
<i>♪ You're like fire ♪</i>

1342
01:29:24,248 --> 01:29:26,917
<i>♪ Expending your empire ♪</i>

1343
01:29:28,452 --> 01:29:29,920
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1344
01:29:29,987 --> 01:29:32,923
<i>♪ My burning desire ♪</i>

1345
01:29:34,758 --> 01:29:36,427
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1346
01:29:36,494 --> 01:29:39,296
<i>♪ Your power inspires ♪</i>

1347
01:29:40,898 --> 01:29:42,366
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1348
01:29:42,433 --> 01:29:45,369
<i>♪ Energy sapphire ♪</i>

1349
01:29:59,316 --> 01:30:00,717
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1350
01:30:00,784 --> 01:30:03,754
<i>♪ Expending your empire ♪</i>

1351
01:30:05,389 --> 01:30:06,423
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1352
01:30:06,490 --> 01:30:09,793
<i>♪ My burning desire ♪</i>

1353
01:30:11,529 --> 01:30:12,596
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1354
01:30:12,662 --> 01:30:16,367
<i>♪ Your power inspires ♪</i>

1355
01:30:17,835 --> 01:30:19,403
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1356
01:30:19,470 --> 01:30:22,072
<i>♪ Energy sapphire ♪</i>

1357
01:30:23,974 --> 01:30:24,942
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1358
01:30:25,009 --> 01:30:28,345
<i>♪ Expending your empire ♪</i>

1359
01:30:30,080 --> 01:30:31,348
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1360
01:30:31,415 --> 01:30:34,385
<i>♪ My burning desire ♪</i>

1361
01:30:36,086 --> 01:30:37,454
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1362
01:30:37,521 --> 01:30:40,391
<i>♪ Your power inspires ♪</i>

1363
01:30:42,159 --> 01:30:43,827
<i>♪ Fire ♪</i>

1364
01:30:43,894 --> 01:30:46,964
<i>♪ Energy sapphire ♪</i>