1
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:04,638
There's another person on Earth!

2
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:05,806
I know. I know.

3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:06,340
Hello, ladies.

4
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:07,975
What's gotten

5
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:08,976
into you?

6
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,411
I'm so horny,
Phil. The only man

7
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,380
left on the face
of the Earth and he's married.

8
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:19,019
(thunder rumbling)

9
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,892
(vehicle approaching)

10
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:37,105
(engine revving)

11
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:52,220
(engine revving)

12
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,631
CAROL: And then he said,
"Have you ever heard the phrase

13
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,633
"'I wouldn't have sex with you

14
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,035
if you were the last person
on Earth'?"

15
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,371
And then two days later
somebody changed his tune.

16
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,206
Didn't you, you
little tunesmith?

17
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,109
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
God...

18
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:16,310
That's really...

19
00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:17,878
Romantic? Yeah.

20
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,548
Melissa, I am so
happy you're here.

21
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,749
Me, too.

22
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:22,950
Me, too.
It's so nice
to have

23
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,785
a girlfriend to talk to.
I'm not only

24
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:27,555
your girlfriend.
I will be your BFF.

25
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,722
You have no choice.

26
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:29,957
Girlfriends!

27
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,658
Mm-hmm.
Uh-oh.

28
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,661
I need a refresher.

29
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,263
Should I get
another bottle?

30
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:35,963
PHIL:
For sure. For sure.

31
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,497
Take off and... Yeah.

32
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,433
Okay, okay.
Why not?

33
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,069
We're having fun.

34
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,071
Yeah. Hey,

35
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,774
you know what, I had such
a great time last night.

36
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,908
Oh, God. I'm so embarrassed.

37
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,179
Oh, my God. I-I don't remember
you saying anything

38
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:52,346
you should be embarrassed about.

39
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:54,582
No, I did.
I mean, I said I was...

40
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,250
You were horny.
Yeah, I-I remember.

41
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:57,818
(chuckles)

42
00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,253
Well, I was drunk

43
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:00,654
and feeling s...
Well, but, I mean,
not that drunk.

44
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:01,689
We were both drinking.

45
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:02,990
Neither of us...
I was drunk

46
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,525
and feeling sad
for myself.
Were you? Okay.

47
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:05,759
You didn't tell Carol, did you?

48
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,127
No. No way.

49
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:10,097
Hey, you and I can have
our own little secrets, huh?

50
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,100
Okay, good. I just wouldn't
want her to get the wrong idea.

51
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,635
Yeah, we wouldn't want that.
And I know

52
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:17,271
you guys have a weird situation
with your marriage and all,

53
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,139
but...
Yes, very weird.
And I actually wanted

54
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:20,474
to talk to you about that.
But I think

55
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,176
it's really great
that you're going for it,

56
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,011
and I really respect you
for that.
Well, thank you.

57
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,478
But going for it
might be a little...
Phil, just take

58
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:28,382
the compliment.
You're one of the good guys.
Uh...

59
00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:29,850
Yeah.
You care
about your marriage.

60
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,118
Obviously.

61
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,820
And I love that.

62
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,154
Because I got cheated on.

63
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,990
Cheaters can go to hell.

64
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:40,027
Okay. Prosecco
delivery.

65
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,029
Here you go, lady.

66
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,797
Mmm.

67
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,833
Okay.

68
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,201
One last
glass.

69
00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:48,469
To girlfriends.

70
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,970
To girlfriends.
Cheers.

71
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,204
Cheers.

72
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,676
Wow.

73
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:56,977
Uh-oh.

74
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,313
This Prosecco's
making me frisky.

75
00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:02,383
Wink, wink.
Frisky for sex.

76
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,584
Come on, Phil.

77
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,386
When duty calls, huh?

78
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:09,156
Committed to this marriage.
Wink, wink.
(chuckles)

79
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,024
You guys have fun.

80
00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,826
(Carol sighs)
PHIL:
Carol, I-I think

81
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,162
we might have to cut down on
the public displays of affection

82
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,531
for a bit.
What? Why?

83
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,533
I'm proud
that you're my husband,

84
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,502
and I want to revel in it.

85
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,338
Yeah, but, hey, hey,
think about Melissa.

86
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:25,873
I mean, how would you feel
if you had to watch

87
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,375
Melissa and I make out
all the time?

88
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:28,909
Would you be okay with that?

89
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:30,711
I mean...

90
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:31,712
would you be okay with that?

91
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:32,713
No.

92
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,047
Okay. That's what I thought.

93
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,015
So...

94
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,917
should we get to it?

95
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,085
Carol, are you sure

96
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:39,420
we're not rushing
into this whole...

97
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,255
"having a baby" thing?
No.

98
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:44,091
Phil, this is the most important
thing we can do

99
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,526
for the world.
I know.

100
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,695
We need to make babies
for the human race to survive.

101
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,997
As many babies as possible.

102
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,102
PHIL:
We need to have as many babies
as possible.

103
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:58,272
Those were Carol's exact words.
And then it hit me.

104
00:03:58,305 --> 00:03:59,906
Okay.

105
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,141
Now let's say that, Kevin,

106
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,076
you're having a baby
with Antawn.

107
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,445
Okay?

108
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,046
This gum is your baby.

109
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,081
Congratulations.
Now, this whole

110
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:12,286
repopulation thing grinds to
a halt until that baby is born.

111
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,754
Unless...

112
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:17,825
unless Kevin also impregnates

113
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,726
Trevor.

114
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,962
There you go.
You're gonna be a great dad.

115
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,564
Anyway, don't you see?

116
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,766
As many babies as possible

117
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,969
means there have to be two balls
pregnant at any given time.

118
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,405
So therefore--
and this is the whole reason

119
00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:32,940
I brought you here, listen up--

120
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,343
I should be impregnating
both Carol and Melissa

121
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:36,944
for the good of humanity.

122
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:40,147
Ah. But how do I get them
on board?

123
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,483
I got to play this real careful.

124
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,284
Nothing crazy.

125
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,119
(knocking)
Hey, neighbor.

126
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,921
Hey. How was last night?

127
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,923
Great. Great.
Just doing our civic duty.

128
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,159
Uh, speaking of which,
you're generally in favor

129
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,527
of saving the human race, right?

130
00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:54,762
Of course.

131
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,097
That's good to know.
Good to know.

132
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,500
So did you need something

133
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:00,768
or...
Oh, yeah.

134
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,136
Uh, just came by
to get your read on these pants.

135
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,405
What do
you think?

136
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,943
They're good. Good pants.

137
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,012
Yeah? Yeah? But isn't there
some kind of weird rule

138
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,014
that you're not supposed
to wear white after Labor Day?

139
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,049
Or some restrictive rule
like that?

140
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:18,619
Yeah, but I think you're fine.

141
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,522
So just... shirk that rule?
Just chuck it out?

142
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,123
I won't tell anyone
if you don't.

143
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,959
Good. Good.

144
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,562
Good. Is that all?

145
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:30,464
I-I'm kind of busy.

146
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,132
No, not yet.
'Cause I was just thinking,

147
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,802
how crazy is it that there was
a time when Rosa Parks

148
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,970
couldn't sit on a bus wherever
she wanted to, you know?

149
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,472
And then just
one day

150
00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:39,840
she just said, like, "No.

151
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,476
No way. I'm gonna sit
wherever I want to."

152
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:44,645
You know? Hey,
to Rosa Parks

153
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,080
and everyone like her
who believes in change.

154
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,517
(clicks tongue)

155
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,585
So would it be safe to say
that, leaving this conversation,

156
00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:54,588
I would not be crazy to describe
you as an open-minded person

157
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:55,923
who believes in change

158
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,325
and is generally in favor
of repopulation?

159
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,728
Yeah.

160
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,430
I'm the exact same way.

161
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:04,865
Enjoy that corn.

162
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:10,137
(crying):
Carol! Carol! Are you here?!

163
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:13,373
(normally):
Carol?

164
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:14,274
Phil?

165
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,276
(crying):
Oh, Carol!

166
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,078
What's going on?
Are you okay?

167
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:21,081
No, Carol! No, I'm not okay!

168
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,584
Calm down. Calm down.
Just have a seat

169
00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:25,853
and tell me what's
going on, Phil.

170
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,588
Just sit down.
Just calm down.
What am I gonna do?

171
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:30,290
Calm down. Just use your words.

172
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,892
(steadying breaths)

173
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:35,195
Okay, so I was just going
about my day, you know,

174
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,465
thinking about how
we might've made a baby

175
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,533
and how freakin' excited I am
about it.

176
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:43,771
You know, w-we both know
how important repopulation is.
Of course. Of course.

177
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,073
And then I just had
the worst thought.

178
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,210
(sobbing):
Carol, I don't know
what to do...

179
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,712
(sobbing)

180
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,714
Shh...

181
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:54,782
Just calm down.

182
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:57,551
Just use your words.
You got this.

183
00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:00,888
I just had a moment
of sickening clarity,

184
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,323
and I just was forced
to ask myself

185
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:07,127
a question that no future parent
should deserve to ask themself.

186
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,962
(sighs)
What question?

187
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:12,766
Carol, do you want our babies

188
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,569
to have sex with each other?

189
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,404
No, Phil!

190
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:21,408
No.
(sobbing):
I know! I don't either!

191
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:25,412
But how else can the human race
go on beyond our kids?!

192
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:29,082
Okay. Shh. Okay.
We can get through this.

193
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,418
We'll figure it out.
(sniffles)
No.

194
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,587
I don't think
we can figure this out.

195
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:36,023
There's only one solution.

196
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:39,092
Oh, you found a solution?
Well, that's great.

197
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,528
Not great.

198
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,095
Why?

199
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,297
The solution
is the hardest part.

200
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,099
Why?

201
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,768
Because...

202
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:51,772
(sobbing):
I'm gonna have to have sex
with Melissa!

203
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,306
(sobbing)

204
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,445
(continues sobbing)

205
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,881
Wah, wah, wah, wah...

206
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:07,555
(whimpering)

207
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,389
You want to have sex
with Melissa?!

208
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:12,993
No, I don't want to have sex
with Melissa. Ew.

209
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,563
I have to have sex
with Melissa.

210
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,131
Phil, this hurts my ears.
Carol,

211
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,868
it hurts my lips to say it.

212
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,970
But our backs
are against the wall here.

213
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,337
I mean,
like you said,

214
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:26,707
this Earth needs
as many babies as possible.

215
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,209
But I meant Phil and Carol
babies.

216
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:32,412
Carol, we cannot put our babies
in a situation

217
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,246
where they have to have sex
with each other.

218
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,250
Our babies need other babies
to have sex with.

219
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,587
I mean, that's just
Parenting 101.

220
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:42,923
Oh, God. Okay, okay.

221
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:46,226
Maybe I do need to think
about this.

222
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:51,965
That's my Care Bear.

223
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,602
Be strong.

224
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,103
We'll be strong together.

225
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:59,372
Now, you take as much time
as you need to think about it.

226
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,274
But I'll leave you with this...

227
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,544
Do you want...

228
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,546
our babies...

229
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,917
...to have sex...

230
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,952
with each other?

231
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,623
I vote no.

232
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,891
And Melissa does, too.

233
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,093
Wait, you already talked
to Melissa about this?

234
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:23,030
(chuckling):
No.

235
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,132
What?
Well, then how do you
know what she thinks?

236
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,200
You know, just picking up
little things here and there.

237
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,636
Like what, though?
Just, like,

238
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,103
she's generally open to change

239
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,105
and in favor of repopulation

240
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,307
and she's been horny.
What?!

241
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:36,977
No, Carol, she's not talking
about being horny about me.

242
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,979
It's more of
a general horniness, you know?

243
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,380
Horny at the world.
Phil,

244
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,382
you're the last man
on the face of the Earth.

245
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,952
About whom else
would she be speaking?
I don't know.

246
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,954
She could be talking
about anyone, you know?

247
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,989
I-I'm trying to do
what's best for the Earth.

248
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,891
You know,
you're being crazy here.

249
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,760
I am not. You're being a skunk!

250
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,061
You take that back.

251
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,495
No, you're a skunk, Phil!

252
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,765
You're just...
skunkin' around,

253
00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:00,167
just getting busy with
one lady and then, oh,

254
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,501
skunkin' on down the road,

255
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,436
just trying to get
busy with the next!

256
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:06,774
What?
(scoffs)
P.U.! Your tail

257
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,109
stinks! Get out of
here, you skunk!
What?

258
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,411
We are done here!
But... but...

259
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:15,883
And great job fixing
my door, you skunk!

260
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,690
Hey. What's going on?

261
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:23,924
What the hell
did you tell Carol?

262
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,826
What? Nothing. What?
Oh,

263
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,928
so she just came over and ripped
me a new one for the hell of it?

264
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,596
I honestly don't know
what you're talking about.

265
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,199
(stammers)
Fill me in.
What-What's going on?

266
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,101
She said something about me
stealing her man

267
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,535
and something about,
if I'm horny,

268
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,170
I should go to a hardware store.

269
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,707
Well, that's bizarre.

270
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,441
Did you tell her
I told you I was horny?

271
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,843
Trying to remember
the conversation.

272
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,378
Did that come up?
Did I tell her you were horny?

273
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:46,279
You are such a dick!

274
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,981
What? Wha...? What?
Look,

275
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,516
you married her.

276
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,618
It may have been under crazy
circumstances, but you did it,

277
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,553
and you have no right
to drag me into this.

278
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,455
I know. I don't.
I'm so sorry.

279
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,958
Look, and-and I'll be honest,
it's just coming back to me.

280
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,126
I did say that.

281
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,128
I told her you were horny.
I... It was

282
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,029
a textbook slip.

283
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,363
Well, thanks a lot.

284
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,898
She was my one chance
at having a girlfriend,

285
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,333
and now she hates me.

286
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:09,236
You had a chance to have
another girlfriend right here.

287
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,872
Sure, I'm a guy,
but I honestly, I...

288
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,374
I swear I never meant to come
between you and Carol.

289
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,542
Well, it's too late.

290
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:17,745
The damage is done.
Then, let's

291
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,013
start repairing the damage.
You want to get some lunch?

292
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,917
(sighs)

293
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,988
Well, they both think
I'm a skunk now.

294
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,924
Got to get back on track here,
got to do something.

295
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,692
Think, think, think,
you damn skunk.

296
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:36,897
(lively music playing)

297
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,500
(over bullhorn):
All right, ladies,

298
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,669
this skunk has obviously
offended you,

299
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,572
and now it's time for you
to turn the tables.

300
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,741
Come on, look,
we shouldn't be fighting.

301
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:50,443
We should be having fun.

302
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:53,280
I mean, you can't stay mad
at me forever.

303
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,448
I'm the last man on Earth.

304
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,484
(engine revving)

305
00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:11,064
Let's get this party started,
huh?

306
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,200
Come on out here
and dunk the guy

307
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,102
that angered two great people

308
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:18,238
who did not agree with his,
granted, solid logic,

309
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,807
but that doesn't matter.

310
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,474
'Cause now you can dunk him.

311
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:22,910
Did you see the sign?

312
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,645
It's time to dunk, dunk, dunk...

313
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:31,451
Oh, looks like we got
a slightly faulty seat here.

314
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:34,521
Just gonna reset that like so.

315
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,657
We are GTG.
We are good to go.

316
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,092
(laughs)

317
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:42,329
When that bronco bucks you off,

318
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,364
you just get right back
in the saddle...

319
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:50,237
Yeah, definitely
hurt my foot there.

320
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,405
Yeah, there's some blood
in the tank.

321
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,241
Careful. Wet T-shirt contest.

322
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,508
(laughs)

323
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,411
Aw, damn it!

324
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:01,648
I'm getting back on.

325
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,750
It's really fun.
You guys, it's really fun.

326
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,585
Uh, I can't even
oversell you on this.

327
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,320
Ah, ah, here comes Melissa.

328
00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:09,356
Looks like someone's ready
to blow off a little

329
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,359
steam and dunk... that... skunk!

330
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,061
Ah, the seat held this time.

331
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:20,667
Melissa, you don't want
to have some fun? Huh?

332
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,936
Just heading to Carol's, huh?
Cool, cool, cool.

333
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:26,439
Carol? Knock, knock.

334
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,876
Well, look who it is.

335
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:31,378
You're here to talk
about your horniness?

336
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,613
Carol, the only thing I'm
horny for is your friendship.

337
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,681
That's not what Phil says.

338
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,716
Well, Phil is an ass.

339
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:37,817
Is that Prosecco?

340
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:38,818
Yeah.

341
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,053
Look, this is
really silly.

342
00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:41,654
Can we just
call a truce?

343
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,523
The last women on Earth
can't be fighting.

344
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,928
Get in here.

345
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:52,832
Three hours in.

346
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,534
I am very, very cold.

347
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,236
But who's complaining, huh?

348
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,471
Still a great night
under the stars.

349
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,573
(music distorts and stops)

350
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,509
Okay, looks like
we lost the power there.

351
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,377
(laughs)
But, you know, who cares?

352
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,679
It's still a rockin' party.

353
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:13,520
Why are you guys being
like this?!

354
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:17,157
Trying to freakin'
make amends here!

355
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,226
Put a lot of work into this!

356
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:22,229
And I didn't do it for me.
I did it for you!

357
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,265
Just rude.

358
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:28,235
Where I come from, when somebody
tried to make amends with you,

359
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,737
you at least acknowledged them!

360
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:34,174
So disrespectful!

361
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,376
Oh, hey, you guys.
You ready to have some fun?

362
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,945
You want me
to jump back in there?

363
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:40,213
We need to talk.

364
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,088
Guys,

365
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,290
look, I already said I'm sorry.

366
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,125
I feel terrible.

367
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:54,094
Although I do believe
my logic is sound.

368
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,696
Phil,

369
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,932
we think...

370
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,969
that you should repopulate
with Melissa as well.

371
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,207
This a trick?

372
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,576
It feels like a trick.
Is it a trick?

373
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:10,877
What's happening?

374
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,746
Melissa and I had
a long talk.

375
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:17,117
I just realized how important
it is to have friends,

376
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,886
and I want my babies
to have friends, too.

377
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,754
Also, I don't want my babies

378
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,890
to have to have sex
with each other.

379
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,759
And you're okay with this?

380
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,161
I'm sitting here.

381
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:30,663
Well, I'm gonna have
to think about it.

382
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,599
My answer is yes,
so you want to say nowish?

383
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,234
Not so fast, Phil.

384
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,603
This is for repopulation
purposes only, so there are

385
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,005
going to be rules.
Mm-hmm.

386
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,107
One-- you can only have sex
with Melissa

387
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,641
three days each month.

388
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:42,442
Three days?!

389
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:43,576
But that's not...

390
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,078
Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no.

391
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,413
Three is great.
Three is great.

392
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,780
During those
three days,

393
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,183
sex can occur a maximum
of three times per day.

394
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,585
But, mathematically,

395
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,421
if each session
is eight hours long...

396
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,156
CAROL:
Okay, Phil,
I would tread lightly,

397
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,657
'cause you are walking
real close

398
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,092
to skunk territory
right now.

399
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,260
Watch it!

400
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,129
Just trying
to get the rules down.

401
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:05,965
With-with much respect,
continue.

402
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,834
(sighs)

403
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,769
Once Melissa is pregnant,

404
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,372
no more physical contact
of any kind.

405
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:13,840
And that includes sex?

406
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,042
Yes.

407
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,045
Phil, do you understand
the rules?

408
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:20,513
Not only do I understand them.

409
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,515
I appreciate them.

410
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:24,884
'Cause this is a job
we have to do.

411
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,054
Now, if you ladies
will excuse me...

412
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,806
Aah! Thank you! Thank you!

413
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,675
Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you!

414
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,081
Phil?

415
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,918
Today's the day!

416
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:01,221
Time to procreate with Melissa.

417
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,324
Oh, that's today?

418
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,194
Here. This is called
G.O.R.A.P.

419
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,429
It stands for "good old
raisins and peanuts."

420
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:12,199
Some people call it "gorp,"
but that's incorrect,

421
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,067
because they're forgetting
about the "and."

422
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:15,602
It's not a
sexy food.

423
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,002
It's just for energy.

424
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,438
Great.

425
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,839
Well, you smell clean.

426
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,040
I suppose you washed
your genitals real nice for her?

427
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,344
Carol, come on.
Phil.

428
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,045
Yes, I did.

429
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,115
Good. Don't embarrass us.

430
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,518
Also, your sex with Melissa

431
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,854
should be vigorous but not fun,

432
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,957
thorough but not sexy.

433
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,859
Save the fun stuff
for your wife.

434
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,928
Care Bear, relax, okay?

435
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,963
This is a job to me.

436
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:46,799
I'm just gonna punch in
and punch out.

437
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,136
Punch in and punch out.

438
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:52,439
Punch in, punch out.

439
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,907
Then I'm gonna come home
to my wife.

440
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,512
(sighs heavily)

441
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,150
Punch in and punch out.

442
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,317
Okay.

443
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,689
Godspeed.

444
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:15,862
(engine revving)

445
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:28,675
Ah.

446
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,144
(laughs)
This is...

447
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:33,213
Whoa...
I know.

448
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,850
Dark chocolates
for my lady.

449
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:40,853
"Ignite the spank"?
No, no. It says "spark."

450
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:43,122
"Ignite the spark."
Looks like it says
"Ignite the spank."

451
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:45,091
Shh...

452
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,959
Just relax and chew.

453
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,761
Relax and chew.

454
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:49,962
You likey?

455
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,432
What's wrong?

456
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,835
This is all so... romantic.

457
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,705
I know.
I thought this was
just going to be about,

458
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,607
you know, the stuff Carol said.

459
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,277
Repopulation,
our duty to mankind.

460
00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:05,312
Are you not into it?

461
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,646
Oh, I'm into it.

462
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,348
I haven't been with a man
in a long time.

463
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:09,849
I just feel guilty
about Carol.

464
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,819
So, let's just cut the BS
and get to it.
I mean,

465
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,054
if the lady wants to cut the BS
and get into it, I'm gonna...

466
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,523
Thank you.
Ooh!

467
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,391
Oh, wait, wait.

468
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:19,626
I just have one
more thing.

469
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,294
Phil, come on.
No.

470
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,696
You're gonna love this. I-I just
want tonight to be special.

471
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,732
It already is!
Trust me. You'll see.

472
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,800
You'll see.

473
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,703
Oh, God, please don't play me
a song on the guitar.

474
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:34,807
Okay. Well, then, how about
I just do this?

475
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,676
(plays note)

476
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:41,514
(laughs)

477
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:42,882
Amazing.

478
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,050
Now get back here.

479
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,552
Hang on. Patience!

480
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:46,753
I got one more.

481
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:49,356
(plays note)

482
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,526
(engine revving,
tires squealing)

483
00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,966
(engine revving,
tires squealing)

484
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,045
Now it's time for
the real fireworks.

485
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,847
And it's gonna
be all finale.

486
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,583
Phil, did you shave your chest?

487
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:19,886
Sure did. Did
you shave yours?

488
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,788
JK. No. But I did.

489
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,690
Can we just do this?

490
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,925
Just want to tell
you one last thing.

491
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,627
From the moment...

492
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,729
I met you...

493
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,198
I couldn't...
(engine revving)

494
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,666
Do you hear something?

495
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:36,969
Damn it, Carol!

496
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,840
Oh, my God.

497
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:55,288
Hey.

498
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,325
I'm Todd.

499
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,859
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

500
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,428
CHILDREN:
Uncle Stinky.

501
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:36,896
(horn honks off-key melody)