1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,571
Previously on
The Last Man on Earth...

2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:06,707
Living apart
will destroy this group.

3
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,509
MELISSA: Todd, wake up!
I don't know what's wrong!

4
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:11,045
-I think Todd had
a heart attack! -(monitor beeps)

5
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:12,346
TANDY:
I'm glad you're still here, bud.

6
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:15,683
GAIL: Clearly,
we're much worse apart.

7
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,017
But if we're all
gonna live together,

8
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:19,553
it's definitely not
gonna be in this crap-hole.

9
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:27,561
(birds chirping)

10
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,566
*

11
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,754
-(rapid gunfire in distance)
-(men shouting in Spanish)

12
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,458
(rapid gunfire)

13
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,729
(gunshot)

14
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,431
(shotgun pumps)

15
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:07,435
(rapid gunfire)

16
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:10,938
(short whistle)

17
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,940
(gunshot)

18
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:15,776
(shotgun pumps)

19
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:26,120
*

20
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:37,497
(Carol sighs)

21
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:40,501
This place has great energy.

22
00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:43,604
-I think we're home.
-Mm.

23
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,939
Oh.

24
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:47,975
She looks nice.

25
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,450
Oh, here, honey,
let me get that.

26
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,851
No, don't you dare.

27
00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,187
You just had a heart attack.

28
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,589
Now, come on, hon. We don't know
it was a heart attack.

29
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,691
You were yelling "heart attack"
while it was happening.

30
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,193
You're overreacting, hon.

31
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,295
I promise you, I am fine.

32
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,029
I'm glad you have
this positive attitude,

33
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,698
but we can't take this lightly.

34
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,866
There are gonna have to be
a lot of changes around here.

35
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,703
No, okay, and that's fine, but
I can get my own bag, you know?

36
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,704
Todd.

37
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,207
(sighs)

38
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,808
Fine.

39
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,376
Be my guest.

40
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,781
(Dawn crying)

41
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:31,352
(sighs) Oh, my God, Dawn,
we get it, you're a baby!

42
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,721
Stop being such a stereotype.

43
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,489
Maybe you should just
leave her outside.

44
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,891
Oh, I'm seriously
starting to consider it.

45
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:41,829
Oh, Dawn, I feel bad
even joking like that.

46
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:44,164
But seriously, Dawn,
shut your boob-hole.

47
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:46,734
-Amen to that.
-(crying continues)

48
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:49,470
GORDILLO:
A rival cartel,

49
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:53,341
on my property, in my home,

50
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:56,677
just strolls through my gates.

51
00:02:56,710 --> 00:03:00,248
It appears we have
a snake in our midst.

52
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:03,284
No, Abuela,
there-there is no snake.

53
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,688
Then it is your incompetence?

54
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,690
No-no, it was not my fault.
Uh, they disabled...

55
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:13,627
Prove to me that you are
not incompetent.

56
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,298
Ten seconds.

57
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,734
Uh...

58
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,358
GORDILLO:
Close.

59
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:47,895
-Just four moves away.
-(Rubik's Cube clicking)

60
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,630
Clean this up.

61
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:57,805
(quietly):
We have to do something soon.

62
00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,573
Or we could be next.

63
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,248
Okay, grab some bubbles

64
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,218
and just wrap anything
that looks dangerous.

65
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:15,556
I'm talking choke-ables,
flammables, decapitate-ables.

66
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,326
Ooh! What do we have here?

67
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,060
-A little Rubik's Cube.
-Oh.

68
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,495
A little Ruby Booby.

69
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,163
Used to be pretty good
at these, huh?

70
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,732
Ooh, and look at that.

71
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,266
A little Mexican flair.

72
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,101
They love their skulls
down here.

73
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,437
Tandy, put that down, okay?

74
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,605
This house isn't gonna
baby-proof itself.

75
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,607
-Be right there.
-Tandy, this baby's due

76
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:37,511
any day now, and this place is
a disaster waiting to happen.

77
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,513
What about all that talk
about how this place

78
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:41,014
had such great energy?

79
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,516
Well, Shark Tanks
have great energy,

80
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,518
but that doesn't mean
I'm gonna walk into that room

81
00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:46,420
without a great business plan.

82
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,188
Okay, lost me there.

83
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,190
Shark Tanks--
the TV show, not the thing.

84
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:54,362
Look, the point is, when you're
a little baby with a soft skull

85
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:57,965
and poor depth perception,
every house is a death trap.

86
00:04:57,998 --> 00:05:00,701
But this one won't be,
not when we're through with it.

87
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,370
All right.

88
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,538
Now, will you be a dear
and bubble wrap that for me?

89
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:07,375
-This?
-Yeah.

90
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,877
-This thing right here?
-Uh-huh.

91
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:13,013
This appears to be
a tube of bubble wrap

92
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,215
already bubble wrapped
with bubble wrap.

93
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,885
And you would like me
to bubble wrap it again?

94
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:21,154
There's a fork in there.

95
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,759
*

96
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,438
(lively Spanish music playing)

97
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,941
Is it done?

98
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,178
Where did you place it?

99
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:46,814
Is that my piñata?

100
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,817
Sí, Abuela.

101
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,685
Tie it up.

102
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:56,424
Ay, que averguenza.

103
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,626
Just give up now.

104
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,232
Where you been, Hector?

105
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:06,534
HECTOR:
It is your birthday.

106
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:09,136
I wanted your piñata
to be just right.

107
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,541
No, no.

108
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:17,344
I want Panchito
to have the first swing.

109
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,846
Oh, no, I couldn't.

110
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,180
Course you can.

111
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:23,050
You've been a loyal
and trusted friend.

112
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,853
But it is your birthday.

113
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:29,823
And when it is your birthday,
I will take the first swing.

114
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,897
Por supuesto, jefe.

115
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,310
(grunting)

116
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:56,249
You can do better than that.

117
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:58,018
There.

118
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:03,356
It's right in front of you.

119
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,998
-MAN (in distance): Federales!
-(gunfire)

120
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,165
GORDILLO:
Vámonos, muchachos!

121
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,166
Pronto, vámonos!

122
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,367
(gunshots, people screaming)

123
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,657
(gunshots,
man shouting in Spanish)

124
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,394
Alto!

125
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:52,105
CAROL: Well, these stairs
are an obvious hazard,

126
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,707
but nothing a couple
packing peanuts can't fix.

127
00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,443
Packing peanuts?

128
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,979
Yeah, packing peanuts.

129
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,048
You don't want our baby
getting SIFILISS.

130
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,716
Syphilis?

131
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:03,817
SIFILISS.

132
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,886
-Syphilis?
-SIFILISS.

133
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,655
You know,
Sudden Infant Falling

134
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,723
Into Large Indoor Spaces
Syndrome?

135
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,692
Oh, I thought you meant
the other one.

136
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:15,228
No, I'm talking
about the bad one.

137
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,842
Hello, Todd. New wheels?

138
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:32,179
Yup. Melissa wants me
to stay off my feet, so...

139
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,581
MELISSA:
Todd.

140
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,515
Where's your helmet?

141
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,350
(groans)
I got it.

142
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:39,352
Can you put it on, please?

143
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:41,688
(inhales) You know,
I just really don't think

144
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:44,091
I need a helmet, hon.

145
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:47,094
Todd, you have another
heart episode, you pass out,

146
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,596
you fall out of your chair,
you hit the floor,

147
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,663
boom, you're dead.

148
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,464
Okay, put it on.

149
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,375
Ooh, Speed Racer over there.

150
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,211
See? It's cute.

151
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,780
GAIL:
Well, this has been fun.

152
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:08,115
Take it easy, Knievel.

153
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,150
Let me know if you
jump any buses later.

154
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,788
(Todd sighs)

155
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,957
MELISSA:
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

156
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,391
-What?
-That's not for you.

157
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,961
That's for us, okay.

158
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,395
This is for you.

159
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:26,499
Try this. You're gonna love it.

160
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:35,275
Great. If I were a starfish,
I'd be in friggin' heaven.

161
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,577
MELISSA:
Hey, mister.

162
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,312
Strap up, please.

163
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:42,182
I want to hear it click.

164
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,721
Did you hear it?

165
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,422
Ridiculous.

166
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,458
(Dawn crying)

167
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,228
God. Oh, my God.

168
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,831
Is she still fussing?

169
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,299
No. She's super calm, Gail.

170
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:00,433
She's loving life.

171
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,602
Friggin' Mary Poppins over here.

172
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:04,337
Okay, blow it out your butt.

173
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,506
-I'm on your team here.
-I'm sorry, I just...

174
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,909
Ugh. I don't know what to do.

175
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,945
Okay, well, lucky for you,
this ain't my first rodeo.

176
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:14,581
Have you tried whiskey
on her lips?

177
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,849
No.

178
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:16,850
-Scotch?
-No.

179
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:18,451
-Wine?
-No.

180
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,353
Vodka? Schnapps?

181
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,022
A teeny bit of Listerine?

182
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:25,192
I'm not gonna roofie my baby,
Gail.

183
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:28,261
Hey, why don't we try
driving her a little bit?

184
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,530
Sometimes the motion of the car
calms them down.

185
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,033
All right, sure.
Let's give it a shot.

186
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,501
No, you can't
give a baby a shot.

187
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,970
I'm telling you,
just the teeniest little...

188
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,539
Okay, I got you. I got you on...
I see what you were saying.

189
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:40,708
-You got it?
-Yup, yup.

190
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,375
-All right. Let's go.
-Okay.

191
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,577
-'Cause I thought you were
talking about shots. -No.

192
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:54,254
Aah! I'm a baby and I'm falling!

193
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,241
All right,
think we're good here.

194
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:17,077
Looks like our baby won't be
getting SIFILISS after all.

195
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:20,480
-He or she is much more likely
to get HERPESS. -Herpes?

196
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:24,584
High Elevation Rugrat Positively
Evades Staircase Syndrome.

197
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,653
Oh, that's music to my ears.

198
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,355
Good.
Now if you'll excuse me,

199
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,357
I'm gonna take
a little breakaroonie.

200
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,059
No, no.
There's so much left to do!

201
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:34,762
You're telling me. I mean, this
cube isn't gonna rube itself.

202
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,831
Okay. You can play your game,

203
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,333
-but on one condition.
-What's that?

204
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,335
You be the one to tell our child

205
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,872
that the reason
they only have one eye

206
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:48,108
is because their father
chose to play a game

207
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,509
instead of covering

208
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,845
all the exposed cactus needles
with corks.

209
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:54,314
-Carol...
-Agree to the condition!

210
00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:59,052
Where are you going?

211
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:01,421
To cork the cacti!

212
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,291
Tandy.

213
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,659
Puzzle rhombus.

214
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,501
God!

215
00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:42,796
(imitating gunshots)

216
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,632
(Dawn crying)

217
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:47,434
ERICA:
I just don't get it.

218
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,903
This baby has run
from a nuclear holocaust,

219
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,772
been stranded on a deserted
island, lost at sea,

220
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,074
and witnessed two murders,

221
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,944
one decapitation and a headless
body riding a Jet Ski.

222
00:12:56,977 --> 00:13:00,247
Now we're settled in a beautiful
house and she's going nuts.

223
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,949
It just doesn't make any sense.

224
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:04,084
Maybe the house is haunted.

225
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,286
Come on, Gail. You don't
seriously believe in ghosts.

226
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,588
I do believe
there's another dimension.

227
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,523
(laughing):
Okay, you're crazy.

228
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,759
Oh, okay, well, tell me,
professor,

229
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,262
-how did the world start?
-The Big Bang.

230
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,764
Uh-huh, and then, what are the
physics behind that? I forget.

231
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:21,001
-Well, the physics of that are
you being a jerk right now. -Oh.

232
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,270
-Well, I'll have you know
that you're... -Gail, watch out!

233
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,238
(tires screeching)

234
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,775
(gasps)

235
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,611
ERICA: Oh, she stopped crying.
She must be traumatized.

236
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,113
Hey, listen.

237
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,850
* Kookaburra sits
in the old gum tree *

238
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,619
-* Merry, merry king of... *
-(crying)

239
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,389
(sighs)
There she goes again.

240
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:47,127
Hey. I'm gonna
try something here.

241
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,462
ERICA:
Gail, what are you doing?

242
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,031
Slow down!

243
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,165
Gail! Aah!

244
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,368
(exhales)

245
00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:00,007
(cooing)

246
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,875
GAIL:
Just as I suspected.

247
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:05,378
Looks like we got an adrenaline
junkie baby on our hands.

248
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,047
(chuckles)

249
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,585
(dance music playing)

250
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,621
*

251
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,994
(music stops)

252
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,762
What are you doing?

253
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,998
So, what, I can't
pop and lock now?

254
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,500
It's too much, you're gonna
overload your system.

255
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,536
No, Melissa, this is my outlet

256
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,771
so that I don't overload
my system!

257
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:33,506
Then you need to find
a new outlet.

258
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,108
Okay, you know what, I've had
just about enough of this.

259
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:37,610
Todd, you're stressing your
heart-- just calm down.

260
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,612
No! You know what,
I am done being calm.

261
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:42,582
And I am done
with this wheelchair.

262
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,352
And I'm done with this
stupid helmet.

263
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,554
-Unstrapping!
-Todd,

264
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:48,956
don't you dare
take that helmet off.

265
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,790
Todd...

266
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:54,727
Look, I am not a child, okay?
I am a man!

267
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,130
And I cannot live like this!

268
00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:59,466
Look, I am sorry that I am
trying to help you.

269
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,368
But finding you
in that grocery store was

270
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,203
the worst moment of my life.

271
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,904
And I am so scared to lose you.

272
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:07,474
But if you don't care, then
fine, take off your helmet.

273
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:08,908
Eat all the junk food you want.

274
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,644
But I am not gonna sit here
and watch you kill yourself.

275
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:18,185
(car stereo blaring heavy metal)

276
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,753
*

277
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,127
(imitating gunfire)

278
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:31,831
Oh, bud, bud, bud.
You got this all wrong.

279
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:34,001
Let me show you the magic
of the piñata.

280
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,003
Here, hand me that
poker-I-hardly-knew-her.

281
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,005
Thank you.

282
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,740
Okay, now, this thing is
a friggin' candy bomb.

283
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,576
And the object is to
knock the crap out of it

284
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,178
to get to the candy center.

285
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:48,115
It's the same basic technology
behind the Tootsie Pop.

286
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:51,684
So, what you do is
you blindfold yourself,

287
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,687
and then you do a couple
spinsies, huh.

288
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:55,955
Like this.

289
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,558
Okay, let's dance.

290
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,795
Okay, that was not...

291
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,068
(laughs)
That is not piñata.

292
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,205
Okay, now, normally I wouldn't
peek, okay.

293
00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:15,875
Because that's cheating.
Oh... oh, okay.

294
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,645
-But since this is more
of a tutorial... -Tandy!

295
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,880
Tell me you did not just
spray glass shards

296
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,550
all over the ground.

297
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:26,719
I'm baby-proofing, and you are
doing the reverse.

298
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:30,223
You're... foorpybab-ing.

299
00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:32,725
I am not, Carol,
and I take offense at that.

300
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,828
Okay, if anything, I'm doing
the reverse of foorpybab-ing ...

301
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:39,399
I'm, uh... babbyproffing.

302
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:42,001
Don't worry,
I'll do it myself.

303
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:44,504
Look, but you...
There's nothing left to do.

304
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,240
We have to be ready
for everything!

305
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,142
We don't know what's gonna
happen in the future.

306
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,544
So some things we're just gonna
have to take as they come.

307
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:54,347
But I'm sure that in the moment
we'll come up with a solution.

308
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,748
We always do.

309
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,917
-Do we?
-Here, I'll show you.

310
00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,319
Oh, quick, there's a tsunami!

311
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,921
What do we do?
Easy, get to higher ground.

312
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,523
Oh, good God, a hurricane!

313
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,058
Sandbag moat.

314
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:08,361
Oh, no, a hail storm
the size of doughnut holes!

315
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:09,729
Cotton-lined football helmet.

316
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,531
-Tandy...
-Carol, my point is

317
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,165
we can handle anything
that comes our way.

318
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,502
That is not true,
and you know it.

319
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,438
Okay, flash floods.
Paper towel truck.

320
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:22,509
Sinkhole, pogo stick.
Alien abduction, heavy shoes.

321
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,944
Those aren't the things
about which I'm worried!

322
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,046
Then what the hell are you
worried about?

323
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:29,749
The virus, Tandy!

324
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,984
The virus.

325
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:36,523
What are we gonna do

326
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,058
if our baby gets the virus?

327
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,396
I don't know.

328
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:47,534
But if that happens,

329
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,336
none of this matters.

330
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,071
I know.

331
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:54,707
So, wh-why are you doing it?

332
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:58,445
Because it's the only thing
I can do.

333
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,085
(gunfire, men shouting
in Spanish in distance)

334
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,393
GORDILLO:
Won't be long.

335
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,563
You're scared.

336
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,298
Yes.

337
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,834
There's an old story

338
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:24,971
about a Chinese farmer
who buys a horse.

339
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:28,308
A short while later,
the horse runs away.

340
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:31,478
His neighbor says,
"Oh, that's bad news."

341
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,446
The farmer responds,

342
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,982
"Good news, bad news,
who can say?"

343
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:38,851
GORDILLO: Three days later,
the horse returns,

344
00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:41,554
and with it, a herd
of wild horses.

345
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:46,259
His neighbor, seeing his good
fortune, congratulates him

346
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:48,161
on the good news.

347
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:49,862
The farmer responds,

348
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:53,333
"Good news, bad news,
who can say?"

349
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:56,269
The farmer gifts one
of the horses to his son.

350
00:18:56,303 --> 00:19:00,707
His son rides it, only to be
thrown from its back,

351
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,275
badly breaking his leg.

352
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:05,845
"That's bad news,"
says the neighbor.

353
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,314
The farmer replies,

354
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:11,017
"Good news, bad news,
who can say?"

355
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:15,622
Days later, the emperor summons
every able-bodied young man

356
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,156
to fight in the war.

357
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:21,228
The farmer's son is spared.

358
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,363
What good news.

359
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,998
Good news, bad news,

360
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:29,202
who can say?

361
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:32,038
It all depends
where the story ends.

362
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:35,742
And that is the only thing
in life we can predict.

363
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:38,311
The only thing we truly know.

364
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:42,282
Everybody's story ends
the same way.

365
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,586
Death.

366
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:56,863
You thought my story was going
to end today.

367
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,931
-(man shouts in Spanish nearby)
-Good news, you might say.

368
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:03,403
But is there bad news
around the corner?

369
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,772
-(pounding on door)
-(pistol cocks)

370
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,607
(man shouts in Spanish)

371
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,443
Who can say?

372
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:12,279
(gunshot)

373
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,783
No, Pancho.
What are you doing?

374
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:23,222
It was you?
You are the snake?

375
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,791
PANCHO:
I thought you knew.

376
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:27,894
You were going to let me hit
the piñata.

377
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,763
The bomb is not in the piñata.

378
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,432
Then where is it?

379
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:35,134
Who can say?

380
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:38,170
*

381
00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:34,494
CHILDREN:
Uncle Stinky.

382
00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:35,995
(horn honking)

383
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:37,997
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH